Random Late Night Ponderings

I’ve been tossing around the idea of putting up a Craigslist Missed Connections post for the jogger. I don’t want to -meet- him, just ask him what he saw…how much…etc.

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A fellow blogger posted somewhere musings on what we would do if anybody we knew in real life were to find our blog, or if there was a suspicion or danger of it. What would we do? What do we think might happen? I can’t say I want to think about what would happen if my family read about it. A friend saw my blog; I don’t know how much they read or anything (we didn’t discuss it) but I know they read it. And they’ve pretty much stopped speaking to me.

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Someone asked me recently why I have so much porn on my computer. (I have about 40 gigs worth of stuff I’ve downloaded) And now I know the reason. The first time I view a video, it’s like I’m spying. I’m seeing someone’s secret. It’s fresh and new and you don’t know what’s going to happen next. Future viewings…the secret is out. It’s no longer titillating. I keep them though in case others would like to peruse my library and borrow a book ;) And in the hopes that maybe in a few months that really hot scene will get to me again.

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Of all the sex toys I’ll be reviewing there is one that I will not be reviewing and I likely will never own (but hope to at least try someday) and that is a fucking machine. To be fucked by something that can go faster than any human is able to is arousing. Even more so, to be restrained and forcefully fucked by this machine and some of the time a big vibrator on my clit.

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I do not fit in with the traditional fetish/kink community it seems in that I’m not really and truly Dominant or submissive. I consider myself a switch because I like both sides of the coin. But I cannot just BE one or the other with someone. There has to be chemistry. If I am dominant or submissive with a person it is totally dependent on the vibe I get from them. I am not saying they dictate which I will be; but I cannot say before knowing someone that yes I top them or bottom to them. Just because I am speaking with someone who is only submissive, that does not mean I’ll be able to top them. I tend not to be into someone who identifies more as a “lifestyle” player. Let’s keep it to flirting and bedroom time, thank you. I don’t usually like truly submissive men. Nor do I usually like truly dominant men.
Lately I have been wanting to try the bottom/submissive side. Very occasionally I meet someone I think I could top, or who I want to top. Very rarely I meet someone I could see both sides happening with.
Although I am bisexual, I tend not to feel dominant or submissive to women. Cannot figure out why.
Hopefully a trip to a FLOG event with a certain couple I know and love will bring out some surprises for me and change my viewpoints a little.