Apr 252013

iGino One fresh out of the boxFirst let me say that I really do applaud the individuals and small companies who try their hand at making sex toys and improving upon them, who see problems that could be solved and want to genuinely spread to joy of orgasm around via a sex toy made of safe materials. Of course many like to utilize as many advertising jargon words as possible and lay out their proclamations of being THE best sex toy, the be-all end-all, the best thing you’ll ever try, if you’ve tried the rest you’ll be instantly in love with this next new thing yaddayadda. I don’t think that the iGino has quite tipped that scale, but they do claim to be “What Women Want”. Yet despite all of these wonderful entrepreneurs trying to Build a Better Sex Toy, many fail.

That’s kinda where the i-Gino One comes into play. I can appreciate the reasons behind the developers design. It’s based somewhat on the fingertip with vibrations as well as a back-and-forth side-to-side sort of motion. The designer made what she feels is a supreme vibrator for clitoris-bearing people. The design is made to be discreet, slim enough to fit between the bodies during sex, it comes with a cap to prevent it from getting dirty, etc. All good things …….in theory. I do encourage you to please check out the information available on their website and their Indiegogo campaign to get a full picture of the intent of this design and the specs. I couldn’t cover everything, or this review would be over 4000 words.

According to the Indiegogo funding campaign:

  • iGino® integrates technologies and design into people-centric solutions, based on fundamental customer insights and the brand promise of “what women want”.
  • By improving the design, feel and innovation of our pleasure objects with sensual purpose, they stand as the most desirable products for individuals and couples alike.
  • All pleasure objects by iGino® give amazing sensations and complete peace of mind in whatever situations arise. Each product blends craftsmanship, design and innovation to give it distinctive character and style.

iGino for Indiegogo – What Women Want from iGino on Vimeo.


iGino One on top of a Samsung Galaxy S3 phone for size comparison iGino One in my hand

The shape and design of it is, I’ll grant you, discreet in that it does not resemble any current vibrator on the market or a penis in any way.  If someone where to happen upon this, their curiosity might make them explore it, wonder what on earth it is. Maybe if the colors were different? Like if this were say…black and grey, or all white maybe it could be mistaken for a tech item.  My husband thought that perhaps it was something for my e-cigs. My friend thought it was a case for candy (yeah I don’t get it either so I don’t ask), or a spare battery for a phone or an e-cig case. So I suppose that my original skepticism over the true “discreet” claim is just me being jaded. Or me having spent 28 years living with a VERY nosy mother who would most likely wonder what it is if she saw it and would try to pry it open. But for once I was able to show my husband and friend a sex toy and they didn’t at first know it was a sex toy until I took the cap off. Watching their puzzled reactions as I quizzed them “What do you think this is?” was kinda fun.


This is a little harder to describe. Instead of vibrating like you’re used to, the little head there actually moves at a very high speed side to side. The speed is so high though, and the sensation fairly intense, that it doesn’t exactly feel like anything different or special. One odd thing: you can completely bring the motor to a halt with decent pressure on the head. I’m not sure this is a good thing. Logically, if you’re stopping a motor from doing what it’s trying to do, it would sustain damage over time? That’s what my logic says, anyhow. I could be wrong. I don’t think you’ll apply enough pressure during normal use for this to happen, though. Maybe during sex if your partner on top gets too close? I know that pressure can stop it because did happen to me but I’ll explain that in a minute.

SkinTouch Head

SkinTouch Head - Looks like a flower!  iGino One - EVA pieces, showing how the collar piece tore

Here is where I’m baffled by a material choice. The entire body is made of shiny ABS plastic, except for the little light pink bit and the “skintouch head”, they’re made of EVA. From what I can tell, it’s body-safe. It’s foam. The everyday thing that I equate this with are those really lightweight sandals, or floating pool mats, I think even the soft colorful interlocking pieces of floor frequently used for flooring in kids playrooms is the same stuff. So, it’s water-resistant I guess, since it floats. Does that mean it’s non-porous? I asked iGino and they said that it IS porous but reiterated that it is “used in various medical products.”. Which is fine, I don’t believe it has any foul chemicals, there is no scent, etc. I’m just concerned that it is porous and easy to lose/destroy by accident.

Hello_Kitty_Pink_2981The Skintouch Head is kinda silly, really. It weighs nothing, you’ll likely lose it, it gets deformed quite easily and could also very easily be completely ruined. It adds a little bit in the positive during use, but yet not.  It looks like a Lucky Charms marshmallow and feels like one, too. It doesn’t feel “warm and soft”, it doesn’t replicate my fingertip.

This same EVA material that makes up the removable “Skintouch Head” is also present as…some sort of….buffer pad? I don’t understand how it relates to being a critical aspect of function. Is it to prevent lube/fluids from getting inside while allowing the toy to do its movement? If so, it is mediocre at best at doing that job. The nature of the moving-vs-vibrating head means that there will be something exposed, I guess, unless the design were altered. But the fact remains that the manual states that the iGino is not waterproof, nor splashproof, nor should it even be placed under running tap water to clean it. This is a bit troublesome to me.  I am unsure if it has these restrictions just because of the exposed USB charging arm, or if it’s because of the gap between the head and the rest of the thing.

The manual says only to use water or silicone-based lubes; this takes out oil-based lubes from the equation. However, I asked and iGino found out that you could use a natural oil, such as Coconut Oil as a lube and it would be fine.

Hygienic Cap

iGino SkinTouch Head can store inside the cap

The design completes its weird look by having a cap. This is to prevent the massager head from getting dirty. Ok, fine. I guess. It’s plastic. How dirty can it get? Problem is that the Skintouch Head can’t stay on if you want to put the cap on. Now, I was able to figure out that the cap will go on and stay on if I put the Skintouch Head bit up inside the cap, off to the side, but the bare minimum manual doesn’t tell you that. I think you’re meant to maybe keep it separate. Which means you will lose it. It will become a cat toy, or something your dog will eat in one gulp. Something your kid will ruin in 3 minutes flat if they’re young. Something a baby or toddler could choke on, since it does highly resemble a cereal marshmallow. But while the Skintouch Head is stored in the cap, something happens. When you flip the switch from off to on with that in place, nothing happens. No sound, no vibration. It’s because the pressure is preventing it from working. Which could be a good thing, unless that means that the motor is burning up….because if you’re traveling with this, there is no travel-lock feature and the slide button on the side is fairly easy to switch on.

Using the iGino One

This is, obviously, an external vibrator only. I’m going to go ahead and narrow this down even further: this design will best be enjoyed by people with small outer labia, who are not “plus size” and do not have a “fleshy” pubic mound and outer labia or crudely put, a fat cunt. I have a fat cunt because, surprise, I’m fat. My clitoris is not visible when I spread my legs, I need to part my labia for it to be visible. This is therefore a requirement for me to obtain contact between my clitoris and the vibrating portion of this massager. In fact, a lot more of the body of this massager gets in contact with my fluids and skin than I think was meant to. My body and vulva shape are just not meant for this type of sex toy. Simple fact. It’s similar to the Fixsation in that regard. Both products claim to be universal, “every woman” will like them, although iGino is less obnoxiously forceful about that implication.

While the iGino One is “discreet” in appearance, it is not during use. I’d say that it’s nearly as noisy as my electric razor. You would never be able to use this in the bathroom. This could be heard whilst under the covers and from outside the closed-door room. If your house is quiet, it would be heard down the hall, even.  The Magic Wand is more noisy, of course. I tried looking around for another vibrator that would be almost as noisy, and I couldn’t find one. It was so noisy that it woke up the cats who were soundly sleeping 3 rooms away and made them come investigate what the sound was.  Below is a simple sound clip:

And here is a very crude video shot from my cell phone to show you what it looks like during use. At the end I’m manually moving the head back and forth with my fingers without it being turned on just to show that it does indeed move side to side.

There is one, single speed. This speed is NOT for a person with a sensitive clitoris; if you can get off fairly easily with just your fingers? Stay away. If this speed is not enough for you, you’re out of luck. I pretty much never endorse a vibrator that has only one speed. 3 speeds are generally a “must” in all but the most rare circumstances. The feel of the vibration is somewhere in between buzzy and rumbly. It’s hard to classify. It’s also hard to like, but I think that also is down to the fact that the portion of the iGino One that actually vibrates is so goddamn tiny. It is not easy for me to use, at all.

The design is also meant to be slim enough to fit between bodies during sex. When I shared this fact with my girlfriend, she looked at me funny and then looked at the vibrator and then gave me that same, confused look. I asked her if it would work for HER body for it to lay flat against her pubic mound and she agreed that no, it certainly would not touch her clitoris in such a position. She is of slim build, and doesn’t have my “fat cunt problems”.

The charge vs use time on this is also ridiculous. It says that the iGino does not arrive charged, but mine did. I was able to turn it on to an eyebrow-raising speed immediately (my girlfriend’s eyebrows raised, not mine, they’re too jaded). However, the manual states that for a “one time use” you should charge it for 8 hours. I would say that mine has been turned on for no more than a total of 15 minutes and it is not yet showing any signs of decline in the vibration/”moove” intensity. A full charge is achieved in 12 hours, and the vibrator will last for 40 minutes.

12 hours gets you 40 minutes.

12 hours gets you 40 minutes.

Yes, that did bear repeating.

This thing charges via USB, with the cool looking USB port arm that swings out. You can plug that directly into your laptop, or use included extension cable, or plug that extension cable into the included wall socket adapter (you’ll get both voltage types of wall plugs). I can sort of appreciate the cool factor of charging via USB, of plugging this into the side of my laptop (if I had a laptop, which I don’t, I’m a desktop girl who dabbles in tablet) but it’s no longer a feature that tips the deciding scale for me.  It used to be, but like I said…I’m jaded and frankly, all of my USB ports are taken. Yes, even with a hub.

Showing the USB charging arm that swings out from the body

Here’s the thing. I pretty much knew by looking at the design that I wasn’t going to like it, and I was very up front with the designer when asked to review this. She responded with “I can not be sure that our product can meet your personal needs, but we believe that our technology works well and your personal honest review would be much appreciated. ” and I respect that. I really do. So that’s why I’m trying hard not to be snarky or mean, despite the fact that I would not recommend this to anybody. I think that the design, style, vibration type, etc is going to only appeal to and work for a very small portion of the population. I don’t think that it is worth $99 for that reason.  I actually dreaded having to use it for a second time to see if I could reach orgasm1, because I at least owe the review a fair shake at that aspect. But the angular case just isn’t ergonomic and frankly, it’s not a pleasure to use. It’s almost worse than a boring, weak vibrator! This also reminds me of the Fixsation, with how I feel about it.

My recommendations on improvement would first ask that the EVA foam pieces be changed out for something more practical, more sturdy. That little buffer piece? I ripped mine while poking around the vibrator. Good thing they give you a few extras. The massager should also be at least splashproof. If this means concealing that USB port and changing the head, then so be it. Also, the color scheme and design is very much Japanese-cartoonish and overtly femme. When you put the Skintouch Head on the massager, it looks like a flower. Not every clitoris-owning person is feminine or even likes pink. Give this thing at least 2 speeds, an on/off switch that won’t be so easy to activate, and a better charge-to-use ratio. Ditch the “velvet pouch” because it looks just like every other cost-50-cents-to-manufacture “velvet” pouch out there and it attracts dust and fur better than a Swiffer. A plain, cloth pouch (see: Jopen, G-Vibe, Extase) would look better and perform better.

iGino One is still in the process of being funded. If you think you’d like this sex toy and would like to own one and see it hit the market, you should contribute

*Disclaimer: As I mentioned above, I was provided this massager in exchange for an honest review by the iGino company.

  1. I lasted 30 seconds my first attempt, 2 minutes the second attempt and maybe 4 minutes on the 3rd attempt. It’s just not comfortable for me to hold, it’s not comfortable to use, the noise is extremely distracting, and I simply couldn’t stay aroused long enough to even think about orgasm. I think that, in theory, it is powerful enough to bring me to orgasm
Jul 162012

Whenever I see a product, especially a sex toy, that is marketed as the be-all end-all perfect-for-all product….I get skeptical. And then I aim to prove it wrong. I’m happy to be the one proven wrong, lest this be misunderstood as a mission where I will not accept my own “failure” to spot a crappy product. I think you all know better than that, but I also think there might be a reader or two who won’t understand unless it’s spelled out. As much as I love to tell you about awesome sex toys I also love to tell you which ones to avoid.
Update: Fixsation owner tried to leave a “redeeming” comment for the product, shaming me and pretending to be a customer. Professional, eh?

When I first saw the Fixsation I thought “Oh great…another wearable vibe for skinny hetero chicks”. Then I was told that no, no! it comes in various sizes! yay. Unlike the atrocity that was the Venus Penis which had no hope of fitting any woman above a size 12, the Fixsation comes in various sizes. The XXL  claims to fit sizes 18-20. That is as big as it goes, however. My pants are closer to a 20 right now because I carry a lot of my weigh in that ring area right below the belly button – my hips, my ass, my belly. Going by the drawings of the Fixsation, I figured I would not be able to wear this at all. I was mostly right. Anyone larger than me would not have a prayer.

Photo courtesy of EdenFantasys

Fixsation is labeled as a “couple’s vibe and panty”, and that is my first bone to pick. A strip of lace does not a panty make. At best it’s a garter belt. Sort of. I suppose this is a minor gripe in the grand scheme of things to come, though.

The Fixsation is “assembly required”. I always appreciate when my rechargeable vibe is already charged up when it arrives at my doorstep, because I’m impatient when it comes to trying out new toys. The vibrator portion of the Fixsation did arrive charged….so at least I was able to immediately tell that that portion was a complete fail for me, but the “panty” portion required assembly. It seems simple enough – there is a silly band of lace and 2 small bra-strap-ish straps that clip on to the lace and eventually run through holes in the vibe to achieve the hands-free feature.

Assembly took me 10 minutes and I nearly launched it across the room twice. I had to get out the tweezers to finish the job. Since part of this sex toy is fabric and it will get dirty, you will need to handwash it…which means you will need to take the vibrator off. And then re-assemble it. My tip, if you should purchase this, is to assemble it well before sex otherwise you will be too irritated to even have sex. Once I had both straps threaded through the side holes it was time to put it on. You step into it like a panty…..just be sure you don’t get things tangled up before you step in. Pulling the lace bit up proved my point that this design is just not meant for fat girls. I had to pull it all the way up over my hips to rest at my belly-button-centered waist area and this was a very tight fit. Someone built differently might have better luck letting this rest on the hips. I then had to adjust the vibe so that it was sitting more or less over the area where my clitoris was….somewhere. Here’s where the failure was the greatest.

I have very full outer labia and mons. It’s kinda natural given my size but I think I’ve always been like this even when I was thinner. When I spread my legs, I still have to part my labia to access my clit. If that describes you at all, then the Fixsation will not work. You pretty much have to look like this Wikipedia photo, with minimal labia and a prominent clitoris. What happens if you should try to spread your labia around the vibrator so that the vibrator will actually be vibrating your clitoris and not your labia?

Pain. Pinching. Pain. Even if you like pain with your sex, this is not the purpose of the sex toy. The sides of the vibrator are a bit sharp-feeling to fleshy flesh since it is made of hard plastic. God forbid you should have pubic hair, because it will get caught up in the sides. This can happen to either one of you, by the way. Imagine a more-painful but less-complicated entanglement similar to braces locking together when kissing. A pubic hair or two yanked out at the root doesn’t exactly keep the mood alive.

Photo courtesy of EdenFantasys

Fixsation is meant for the missionary position sex1 and is advertised solely to hetero couples. I can understand their motive for the audience thing, even though I don’t exactly like it. This toy could work for lesbian couples…perhaps. But to design something just for the missionary position? Fixsation is meant to work with the pressure applied by your partner’s pubic bone. It’s been a long time since I first side-eyed this sex toy but I once ran across something that seriously irked me; I believe it was on the Fixsation website but I cannot find it anymore so I cannot be sure of where I read this but I remember this specifically: It was said that the Fixsation was never intended to be a powerhouse, because the point was to “help” bring her to orgasm at the same time as her partner2. It was purposely designed so that she did not climax from clitoral stimulation alone before her partner. *blinks* I have lots of feelings on that, and none of them are good. Be that as it may, you’ve likely guessed by now that the Fixsation is mediocre at best in the vibrations department. It is pretty buzzy. It has a little more power than the original Lelo Tiani, but not as much as the Tiani 2 or the We-Vibe 3.

Speaking of, since this is touted as a “couple’s sex toy”, let’s discuss how it compares to the Lelo Tiani or the We-Vibe, two other hetero-centered PIV sex toys. Both the Tiani and We Vibe work by inserting part of the toy inside the vagina. If your partner is bigger than average or you do not like anything bigger, then you’d want the Tiani over the WeVibe. But the Fixsation proudly proclaims that it is “non-invasive” which could be a plus for some women. There is no remote with the Fixsation, the button is located on the vibrator. You have to press and hold for about 5 seconds to begin vibrations. One of the reasons I prefer the We-Vibe 3 over the We-Vibe 2 is the remote: it’s awkward and not easy to fumble around a slippery vibrator with slick fingers in the middle of sex to change a vibration speed or turn it off. So the boast of “no remotes needed” for the Fixsation is not a plus in my book.

Moving along….the Fixsation is indeed quiet. Users who are in need of something quiet will find that in this toy. It is made from body-safe materials (plastic). It is water-resistant but not waterproof: Ok for squirters but not ok to wash along with the “panty”3. It is rechargeable, has various speeds of yawn, is fairly small, travel-friendly and “non-threatening” if you happen to have a male partner who is so insecure as to be intimidated by sex toys.

Fixsation would work best for:

  • Those who are a size 14 or under, despite the sizing of the XXL version
  • Women who do not carry much weight in their belly
  • Women whose labia are small and whose clitoris is easily accessed and visible
  • Those who do not require much assistance from vibration to help with climax
  • Those who prefer the missionary position
  • Heterosexual couples, however it could work for same-sex couples if the giving partner’s harness isn’t too bulky
  • Solo use if you truly hate holding two sex toys and fit the above descriptions
  • Those with cropped or shaved pubic hair

Please note that these aren’t “or” statements, they pretty much all go together and you have to fit most of them. I do not.

I really, really dislike the Fixsation. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever recommend it. There are many flaws, a lot of which are never mentioned in some other reviews. This is another reason why I wanted to get it – if you’re thinking of dropping $100 on a sex toy, you should be fully informed. I am a bit irked that I paid 2/3 the retail for this sex toy because in a way it feels like a gigantic waste of money, but at least I was able to use EdenPoints to cover the rest of the balance after doing a buy-out assignment. I knew though, when I bought it, that it wouldn’t work for me so it’s not like I was disappointed and didn’t have my own gut instinct as fair warning. I specifically wanted to review this item though for a retailer, and at that, one who doesn’t mind a negative review. If I had had to hold my tongue after experiencing this awful sex toy I’d have been mighty pissed.

While I have indeed often wished for a sex toy similar to the Fixsation for use during missionary-position sex, Fixsation falls so short of the mark it’s not even funny. Because we’ve yet to find a sex toy that doesn’t get in the way during sex, he usually gets me off before PIV sex. Our favorite way is his hand plus my We-Vibe Salsa, resulting in an explosive orgasm that he was very much a part of, and it leads to a deliciously sensitive g-spot and therefore extremely pleasurable sex for us. That is what works for us. His cock is too long for me to enjoy rear-entry positions usually, or I’d be using a position pillow like the Liberator Wing, Axis Hitachi, Pulse or BonBon to hold the vibrator in place for me.

Since the Fixsation is technically in the strap-on vibrator category while still being a hetero-couple’s vibrator for use during sex, it’s a little difficult to recommend something else. Of course the Lelo Tiani 2 and the We-Vibe 3 are very decent for Hetero-PIV sex, I can understand that they’re not everyone’s cup of tea. They’re not strong enough for me, personally. The Tiani is pretty darn unobtrusive vaginally, while the WeVibe 3 is quite a bit more noticeable. I would not likely recommend anything from the strap-on vibrators section that looks like a butterfly/bee/whatever. However, this pair of vibrating crotchless panties could work if you replaced the bullet with the WeVibe Salsa….except that it’s “one size fits 45% of users”, so not plus size friendly. The Black Rose Vibrating Panties are very femme and pretty and very adjustable but you’d need to do some cutting and sewing to change them into crotchless panties for sex. Again, I’d also recommend pairing it with the WeVibe Salsa or Tango for a huge upgrade to the vibrator.

ETA: I’ve already heard some pretty negative things about the inventor, Tiffany York, so as soon as I got the comment below I just knew it was her. She must think I’m pretty damn dumb, she used the same email address that is associated with the Fixsation domain! YES, pretending to be a satisfied customer and getting snotty in your comment will TOTALLY discredit my negative review in the eyes of all who shall pass here and doesn’t look suspicious AT ALL. Yup. Yes indeedy. Sorry Tiff, not born yesterday:


  1. Ok I think I’ve seen a few other positions named, mostly Tantra type positions and things that, frankly, the average vanilla couple doesn’t do
  2. They use the term “Wegasm” GAG
  3. Truly I cringe and grit my teeth every time I refer to the “”panty”” and I cannot use enough quotes to accurately convey my reluctance in calling it such
Apr 052012

The Bedroom Kandi line’s Hold On To Me is a kegel exerciser set that is similar in execution to the Lelo Luna Beads. There are a lot of differences between the two products but a lot of similarities, namely, the ability to gradually increase the weight of the beads as your muscles get stronger. Both products feature 4 ABS plastic spheres/balls/beads, the ability to use one or two at a time, and a silicone “holster” for when you want to use two at a time. Since I do a lot of comparisons in my reviews it’s only natural that I’ll be doing a lot of comparing in this one to the Lelo Luna Beads because it is a product that has been around for years and so many are familiar with them. The Hold On To Me spheres are a lot more femme-y and girly looking whereas the Luna Beads look more plain. This is a type of product though that, for me, design is a far distant second to function.


While the Luna Beads are only 2 different weights (the pink beads are 28 grams each and the blue beads are 37 grams each) the Hold On To Me set contains 1 bead each of 4 different weights. All beads look identical, but there is gold paint on the outside to differentiate between them, like dots on dice. The bead weights are: 25 grams, 30 grams, 35 grams, 40 grams. A big different between the HOTM and Luna beads is the size. Luna Beads are 36mm while HOTM beads are only 30mm. 6mm might not seem like a lot but it matters. Users of the Luna Bead system who found that the beads were a little too big for comfort might enjoy the smaller size of the Bedroom Kandi Hold On To Me set. The holster for the HOTM beads is also more diminutive and a lot more flexible – this can be a good thing or bad. I personally found that this floppiness made the 2-bead set harder to insert than the more sturdy Luna Beads. Also, for the Luna Beads the retrieval cord appears to simply be cotton string but it is a nylon coated string. It doesn’t absorb fluids or stain, and it is attached to the bead itself. For the HOTM set, the retrieval cord is part of the holster – and it is very stretchy. In fact, it stretches out to double the original length. This is bad. You do not want stretch on a removal cord. Why?

It’s like a rubberband. Literally. The sleekness of the material combined with the small size and stretch is a recipe for disaster when met with slippery fingers. And your fingers will be slippery because in most women the use of kegel beads increases their natural vaginal lubrication. I had an issue with this and it resulted in a rubberband-like painful snap to my labia. Yes, you’re all cringing and crossing your legs right now as well you should be. I’m not the only reviewer who had this problem, Sada K did as well.

Another problem with the design is this “dot” system for designating the weights. The paint is on the outside of the plastic spheres, not the inside. And it does indeed rub off. I used my double set twice and washed them 4 times. You can see below that the gold painted dots are completely gone and the BK logo has faded considerably. Where did this paint go? What is it made of?? I don’t know, and it concerns me. Sada had this same problem as well.

The spheres look quite a bit different in the online photos than in person. Online they appear to be mostly magenta but in reality it is a clear ABS plastic sphere with a magenta colored weight inside that rattles around. When reading about how the Lelo Luna Beads work, they specifically state that you don’t have to do anything, that it is basically a passive exerciser. As the weights “vibrate” (they don’t really, it just sorta feels that way) and rattle around inside the plastic outer ball, that whole motion is tapping your kegel muscles, making them contract slightly without intervention. I can confirm that is true because one time I just stepped right up to using both of the blue Luna Beads for a few hours (stupid) and the next day my kegel muscles were sore. Like “too many sit-ups” sore. Except, ya know, not my abs. Some people don’t like that obvious rattling feeling of the Luna Beads; those people would perhaps appreciate the Hold On To Me spheres better. The plastic sphere is smaller but the size of the weight appears to be the same so you don’t get that somewhat-pronounced rattle that the Luna Beads produce, the HOTM is more subtle. So subtle that for me it didn’t really do anything. I tried the 2 lighter weight beads at first and then the next day the 2 heavier ones and I never felt the “whoa too much” soreness.

However, the manual never claims that the spheres will work that way. The manual actually tells you to do active kegel exercises while wearing the beads. Which, to me, defeats the purpose. Other kegel exercisers that you are meant to work against are larger, more solid, somewhat like a dildo. You clench around it, and well….I don’t know how they work exactly, I’ll be honest. But I know that you don’t insert them up inside the vaginal canal completely, like you do with balls/beads/spheres. So judging from the manual, the whole thing seems very pointless. I did do kegel exercises while wearing these and couldn’t discern that they were helping me in that way. And it’s not like you have to walk around all clenched up lest they fall out.

Speaking of the manual and instruction, I ran across some very troubling information in the exercises section. OhMiBod/Bedroom Kandi was actually recommending that if you’re unsure how to clench the PC muscles, you repeatedly stop and re-start the flow of urine while on the toilet. Repeatedly. As an exercise, not as a “training” guide to familiarize yourself with how and where and what to clench. That is not healthy! I can remember hearing from Ducky Doolittle (whom I consider to be the kegel master, she knows more than the average doctor) that it is problematic because it can cause infection and it can also bring about “overactive” bladder, which is the opposite of what you want! I immediately emailed BK via OMB about this, and heard back from Brian, founder of OhMiBod. According to him there was only a small run produced and many of these went to reviewers and such so a change in the manual is possible; he said they would change that part, I hope they do.

Finally, my biggest problem with the HOTM product is the material. It is stated that the black holster is silicone. I questioned Brian on this after I performed a flame test (which failed spectacularly) and he has held fast to the statement that the material is silicone, food-grade. I questioned if it might be a blend and he claimed that he consulted the lab paperwork to find that it was not a blend. He also tried the flame test himself and says that he did not have the results that I did. I don’t have proof of this, but he came off as a fairly honest individual. However, I took the item in question with me to MomentumCon knowing that there would be retailers and manufacturers present. I showed my holster to them and no one hesitated to say that it didn’t appear to be pure silicone. You can see the destruction of material in the photos below, but a video and more in-depth post will be published very shortly is up explaining the flame test and showing various results.

UPDATE: As we go along, we learn more about the various types of silicone. We’ve learned that these results actually ARE in line with how certain silicones behave. I now do believe that the material is, in fact, pure silicone.

All in all, I’m not a fan of this product and I can’t recommend it. Silly name aside, the material safety issues and ineffectiveness of the weighted balls leaves me cold. The color scheme is pretty (to me, but then I love black and magenta). The box and packaging is nice and reminiscent (at first) to a cross between Njoy and Lelo. Except that it’s not. When you first open the container you see the spheres all nestled in a cloud of black satin. This is achieved by a cardboard riser with holes in it that are just barely big enough for the spheres to lay partially in but not fall through. They’re held in place firmly, though. Too firmly. In fact I had trouble pulling the ones in holsters out (that damn stretchy cord) so I had to remove the whole thing and push them out from underneath. After that the magic was lost and I tossed that part. However if you’re willing to forgive it, it would make for a decent travel case – albeit large – because they wouldn’t rattle. They do include though a satin drawstring pouch for travel.

I really think that the idea of gradually increasing the weights is ingenious and so I’ll continue to recommend the Lelo Luna beads instead. 

Dec 202011

I’ve been talking a LOT about sex toys lately, I know. Bear with me :)

California Exotics USB-Powered E-Sensual Bullet Vibrator

The other day while browsing new additions to EF I stumbled across this bullet vibe from CalExotics that is USB-powered. No, not USB-rechargeable. USB POWERED. I read the reviews, many of which made me a bit irritated so I immediately bought this thing myself just so I could get across one major point:

It can’t be listed as a “Con” (in the Pros and Cons of the review template) if it was never meant to do that by design. No batteries? No suction cup? WTF?

Moving along. A comment made by many people who commented on the previous reviews was “Looks interesting, but I don’t want to be tied to my computer” to which I say: “Why would you buy/consider this then?”1. If I had no electrical outlets in my house, I wouldn’t even contemplate buying a rechargeable vibrator or a plug-in vibrator. Same same.

Okay, really, moving along.

THIS BULLET IS FUCKING AWESOME. WHERE HAS IT BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE?!?! And by whole life I mean “while I was working at my old job and used to jerk off at my desk a LOT“. I can’t even tell you how many times I would run out of batteries there; this would have solved the problem 100%. Now that I no longer am in that situation one would think that this vibrator wouldn’t be as useful to me, but you’d be wrong. I have to admit that the place I most frequently masturbate these days is at my desk. In fact I only leave my desk if I require the use of a different toy or want to use my Pure Wand (it works better for me if I’m laying down). Otherwise I sit here with a trusty bullet vibe tucked down in my panties / whatever I’m wearing while I browse my Tumblr porn and read hot blog entries and so on; I usually have a very lovely hands-free orgasm.

That is, of  course, until I run out of AAA batteries for my Black Magic bullet vibrator. But no more! The E-Sensual bullet vibrator is REALLY powerful. It’s so powerful that the rumbly-ness of the first level becomes a touch buzzy at the top speed (which is like, whoa, some days even I can’t take it) but it’s still getting me off fabulously. It has 3 patterns and, perhaps because of the rumbly and the intensity, I actually like and use the patterns. I know, right, who am I?!?

The argument of “I don’t want to be tied to my computer” doesn’t hold water for anyone willing to A: Shell out another $10 and who B: has a smartphone. My phone came with this nifty wall charger that actually has a USB-toMicro-USB cable. I removed that cable and plugged in the bullet vibe and IT WORKED. It was also even more powerful, if that’s possible. I haven’t gotten an answer yet from CalEx if this is bad for the toy. Then I did some thinking and remembered that my Bluetooth headset came with a mini USB-to-Micro-USB cable and a car charger that you plugged the USB end into. Voila! You can use your E-Sensual vibe in the car now! So we have computer/laptop, wall outlet, and car charger. ETA: I bought all the necessary cables and USB gender-changer adapters just to find out that it won’t run off of your smartphone’s micro-USB port. Sad, but oh well. We still have extension cables, wall outlets and car chargers! 

If you jerk off at your computer, just buy the damn bullet. For the minor faults that I wrote about in my onsite review it is still utterly worth it for folks like me. And it’s affordable. Even with the cables and accessories. (The cable is a bit short for many desktop computer users but again you can buy an extension cable for like less than $6 on Amazon.)

PicoBong: A line of cheap toys that are about as disappointing as I expected

To be fair I’ve only tried one but let’s be real here: I only need to try one. Epiphora and SugarCunt confirmed that the annoying Kiki 2 is cute but weak and disappointing. Which is exactly what the Picobong Honi is: Stupidly designed, surface-buzzy as hell and not very strong. I knew this before I bought it. I did. But again, I think I wanted it just so that I could write a review that didn’t focus on using the goddamned thing internally. I mean seriously, why would you once you see the controls?? Just because it has a “retrieval cord”? Just because Picobong stupidly claims it can be used internally? If they meant for it to be used internally, why oh why would they put the control buttons on the side of the bullet? Is this suddenly now a game to see if you can clench your PC muscles enough and in the right location to change the vibration while it’s inside of you? Wow. Dumb. If they hadn’t actually said on their awful site that it was an external bullet it wouldn’t be quite so bad. They say you should set it and then insert it (duh). So if you wanna change it up, you have to take it out, covered in fluids, and change it? Riiiiight. And the indented PicoBong name and buttons are a bitch and a half to get clean. The cap also is really, really difficult to get on straight and tight enough for me to believe that it really is waterproof. I don’t see an o-ring. I turned it on and dropped it in a sink of water. At first I thought it was dead because I saw no ripples in the water (and it wasn’t very deep). But no, it was running. After a few minutes I took it out and dried it off, opened that cap and sure enough there was some moisture.

What do you get when Lelo tries to create something “affordable” for the younger crowd? You get a box that’s flimsier than the cheapest toy companies and a battery-operated poorly-designed dud. Lelo seems to be intent on never offering anybody any real stimulation to write home about. OH! And just to make you feel better about spending the money on this thing they’ve included a FUN DICE! (Die? Singular?) It has vague images of their various toys on it instead of numbers or anything. Which is…..I….I don’t even know. What the fuck am I supposed to do with this thing? Do they intend for it to be like Pokemon and we collect the entire line of crap and then roll the dice to come up with our playtime rotation? Because each one will come with the same damn die so you’ll then have half a dozen worthless dice. So you’re holding this thing and wondering what the fuck to do with it. You go to their website and you find where they talk about it, finally, and first you find a Pacman-like game on the site (yawn) and then somewhere (I can’t even find it now) there’s a “So what do I do with this die?” FAQ questions and their answer is “We were hoping you’d tell us!”


The whole site irritates the shit out of me. Everything about it. Everything about the toys. ENOUGH WITH THIS “C-SPOT” shit! And to top it off, the toys are still overpriced for what they are. In fact, here’s one for $20 that’s probably better, but similar concept and design.

So there you go. One post, two bullet vibes, polar opposites. The CalEx (I know I’m almost choking endorsing something by them) E-Sensual USB Bullet Vibrator is fucking awesome; while the PicoBong by Lelo Honi Bullet Vibrator is an annoying piece of junk.


Post sponsored by: EdenFantasys (What this means), a sex toy store

  1. Except to the people who review everything just because they have to review everything and are total sex toy geeks which if so, then that’s ok, because we need more sex toy geeks
  2. and their prolific use of the head-bashing term “C-Spot”; PicoBong/Lelo, you dumbasses, it is not young or hip to change “clitoris” to “C-spot”

Sweet Embrace (by Evolved) Vibrator Review

 Reviews, Sex Toys  Comments Off on Sweet Embrace (by Evolved) Vibrator Review
Nov 202011

Sweet Embrace g-spot vibrator by Evolved Novelties

Fed up with lackluster “luxury” sex toys I turned a curious eye to the Evolved Novelties brand. I’d recently written product descriptions for pretty much all of their line and while many would have appealed to me a lot more about 5 years ago some of them still give me pause. I don’t judge a toy on how much it costs, learning that harsh lesson from too many over-priced under-whelming vibrators. I settled on the Sweet Embrace, frankly, because of the combination of girth and supposed power. The fact that it has 7 functions and a dual motor were secondary. The shape of it overall and the size of the larger end also reminded me of a wooden dildo I love, the NobEssence Seduction.

Sweet Embrace vs NobEssence Seduction

When I first tried out the toy I thought it was broken. It acted like a defective product – the power button was all wonky, it would turn on and then stop, I wasn’t able to find the straight vibration and then I wasn’t able to turn it off. Tried another set of batteries, same thing. Ready to return it to EdenFantasys for a new one I tried a last-ditch effort with a pair of absolutely positively brand new batteries. Success! Turns out, if your batteries are lower on juice than you thought….the vibrator doesn’t know what to do with half-assed battery juice and just goes all random. Defective product? Probably not. High quality product? Probably not. So I have kept my original item.

The Sweet Embrace is marketed as a G-Spot vibrator. Therefore, meant to be inserted. The dual motors (and yes, there is a motor at each end) and their product description indicate that both ends are suitable for insertion depending on your size preference. But man that’s a big jump! The smaller end has a max width of just barely an inch while the big end has a max width of 1.75 inches. But here’s the other problem – it’s short. Which at first I didn’t think would be a problem. After all, the g-spot is located anywhere from 1-3 inches up the front vaginal wall so a maximum insertable length of 3-ish inches should be enough to do the trick. If you don’t want the button actually inside of you (being right at your entrance isn’t much better though) then the insertable lengths are a bit less than stated in the description on the site.

The bigger end appealed to me more but after insertion I figured out why this won’t work: the power button faces your ass and by the time you insert it so that it is more comfortable, with the widest portion resting back on your g-spot, the button is either right at your entrance or just inside of you. *blinks* Ok, fine. I don’t give a hang about the functions and we all know I only care about the top speed so I don’t need to hit that button, but many users might. The thinner end at least has the button facing your clit but the thinner end is also a bit shorter. The button remains buried in flesh. Luckily it is a silicone button with a raised power symbol on it so it is slightly better to push when it’s all wet but it’s a bitch to get to no matter how you slice it.

Ok so what about using it for clit stimulation, instead? It’s powered by 2 AAA batteries,  a fact that some of you may scoff at. I didn’t think anything of it, since my two favorite bullets are powered by 2 AAA batteries and they are gorgeously rumbly and powerful. I have read reviews that say that the Sweet Embrace is buzzy; for once I disagree. It’s a lower-pitched vibration, it isn’t itchy; it’s certainly more rumbly and powerful than the Lelo Tiani, Isla, or Mia; more rumbly than the Bnaughty bullet, the G-ki or Zini Roae; but certainly less powerful and deep than the Vanity VR6‘s insertable portion. I pretty much need the power and depth of vibration provided by the VR6 to make my g-spot give a shit about vibrations. But the power of the Sweet Embrace just isn’t quite enough for me to use as a clit vibrator. The larger end seems to be more powerful (so if you were thinking about enjoying more pin-point, forget that). With fresh batteries and on top speed the larger end could give me a clitoral orgasm if I’m willing to wait a little longer – I can get off with less power if the motor is rumbly enough and this is rumbly enough (the smaller end I might classify as more buzzy, though). I’ve figured out though that because of the dual motors, each motor is powered by one of the batteries. One goes into the smaller end, one the bigger end and you screw it together. If you were able to shut off one of the motors (since you can’t possibly use both at the same time because it is S-shaped, not C-shaped) and have the power of both batteries this would be much more to my liking. Plus if you are holding the larger end you’ll be distracted/irritated by the vibrating handle.

Many reviewers said that when used externally, the Sweet Embrace is quite noisy – it can be. The problem is that the motor, like in many bullets, is sensitive to angle. At certain angles it suddenly goes very rattly and loud. That effect is lessened when it is firmly grasped, inserted or otherwise “steadied”. I’ve actually been sitting here writing this review, clothed, with the larger end on my clit; because of the S-shape the vibrator can be more vertical rather than say pointing outwards like a unrestrained hard cock. Because the smaller end (which I find is more susceptible to the rattles) is firmly against clothing and the larger end is pressed firmly to flesh it isn’t very loud. Granted I’m in a room with two running computers so it isn’t total silence in here but I can barely hear the thing. If I change it to one of the pulsating functions then it gets more noisy because there are a few functions in which the strongest pulse is stronger than the top steady setting. Irritating, because I know it had the potential to be that strong but they chose not to. If I go to move it though it does get louder without the pressure around it.

Will I actually use this as intended, as a g-spot vibrator? Nope. Only because it lacks the power I need for me to really feel that internally. BUT I do quite like the fat end’s shape – that pronounced bulb lends a different g-spot-only quality as opposed to a dildo that is 1.75 inches around the whole thing. This bulb design offers the girth I want for easier massage of my g-spot but with a tapered neck so that my vaginal opening isn’t being stretched. Sometimes I want that stretched feeling all over and sometimes I don’t. I can see myself using this as a dildo. The more I think about it, this might be a pretty decent travel toy – keep the two halves unscrewed and the batteries elsewhere and it’s decently portable. Combined with my bullet on my clit and using this as a dildo I’d get off wonderfully. With this as my only toy I’d have to alternate between g-spot pressure and a long, slow climb to a clitoral orgasm (which means I’d have to be sure to keep a spare set of batteries on hand) but it’s doable. Is this a perfect toy? Definitely not. But I don’t think it will go unused. Which is a lot more than I can say for the last 4 luxury vibrators I’ve tried.

Sweet Embrace ready for travel

Don’t like pink? Evolved also makes this exact same toy in black but markets it to men as a prostate massager, the Provoke. I don’t think this would be a good prostate toy, though. Inserting the smaller end is safe because of the larger end, but inserting the larger end then means you have no flared base for safety. So there you have a fat, vibrating handle to hold, a max insertable length of less than three inches and a definite certainty that the button will be covered in lube and will require thorough toothbrush scrubbing to get it really clean. Oh and as I figured out, the button is actually the lesser of two evils for cleaning. See that raised crap there? WTF is that. It’s not even a logo. Anyways it is a bitch to clean. It requires a toothbrush for that bit.

  • 3 speeds, 4 pulsating functions
  • Waterproof (although using it in the bathroom would be stupid, IMO, if you’re at all concerned about noise levels)
  • ABS hard plastic (silky, matte finish as opposed to shiny and slick) – click here for cleaning and lube info
  • Single button – push to turn on to low steady, then it will move through the other 6 settings. To turn it off, you must press and hold the button for 4 seconds
  • Rumbly vibrations that are moderate but pleasurable
  • Travel-friendly if you leave the two halves unscrewed
  • Give it a helping hand: Use fresh AAA batteries by Duracell or Energizer in their “more power for high drain devices” type (which are, yes, more pricey). Try a warming lube or one that stimulates the g-spot or clitoris if you’re like me and not an easy O. 

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Mar 282010

You know, I don’t get ALL my sex toys for free. Sometimes I get impatient and just buy them. Sometimes I do a “buy out” for review at edenfantasys.com which means I get a discount but I still have to review it, such as the Devine Play Chest or the Fleshlight.

But there’s things I purchased with my own money (err…I mean EF giftcards that I got from writing for Edencafe plus the commissions I got from affiliate sales at EF) recently that I want to talk about, both the good and the bad. So read on for my thoughts on the Toiboks Original, the Erosillator 2, a couple of toy storage bags, the Nobessence Seduction dildo, and the Wahl 7-in-1 2-speed Massager.

Toibocks Original

This is a pricey yet unique toy storage item for someone with a few bedside toys that needs total privacy and discretion. The Toibocks IS beautiful, a dark mahogany wood that looks like a plain box and the lid opens to reveal a jewelry-tray thing. Keep cheap jewelry there, watch, anything that you like that’s average and doesn’t warrant a closer look. To anybody that looks at it in depth they’ll know that the box is big but the tray is shallow and try to lift up the tray. But it is locked in place with no obvious key hole. The key is contained within this piece that is stored inside the box magnetically to the metal logo on the underside of the lid. Problem is, in my eyes, that “key” is obvious that it doesn’t belong. In other pictures I had thought it to be metal, but it’s just plastic. Not even fake-chrome-plated plastic, it’s the swirly metallic-silver and so it looks like an oversized play-money coin from a child’s board game, and that’s really my only disappointment with this whole thing. The box is lined with velveteen-flocked cardboard and appears to be well made and sturdy. Like I said…..pricey, not for storing serious valuables, but it IS pretty and inconspicuous. Good choice for bedside storage if you have roommates or kids.

Toy Pouches

These are being sold under EdenFantasys as the brand, and are cute drawstring toy pouches. I purchased one of each, unable to tell exactly if one was better/different than the other. Other than one having the EF logo in glued-on rhinestones, there’s absolutely no different and IMO not really worth sending the extra $6. They come in black or purple on the outside and it’s a faux-suede material. The inside is a hot pink satin. Sturdy, thick cords make up the drawstring. Shiny silicone dildos/vibrators will not smoothly glide along the satin on the inside, so I took one and turned it inside out (that’s the pink one you see above). While the suede will likely stain more easily if the dildo isn’t clean, it can be easier to use it this way for some toys. I was able to fit the Wahl in the pouch by removing the attachment and just dropping it in the bag. I could probably fit one more attachment in it. Toys longer than 9.5-10″ won’t fit in and still let the pouch close.

Eroscillator 2

After reading Epiphora’s stellar, glowing review I decided to try it out. However….her review was for the tippy top super deluxe package of every attachment plus the stronger motor. SheVibe carries various packages, but the one I first tried was the “2 Plus” basic kit. I liked it….but it wasn’t perfect for ME. I like pressure and with the oscillations you can’t apply pressure, or they’ll slow down a lot. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this though for other women, so long as they don’t require pressure like I do. It can be powerful or subtle, good for a wide range of women. Even my husband liked the sensation of it when I applied it to his hard cock, at the frenulum. I think that I could love it if I was able to try out the super deluxe package, with a more powerful motor and different attachments. In the end, I wound up loving  the Wahl so much that I no longer reached for the E2 and so I gave it to Backseat Boohoo as a surprise. (she loved it)

UPDATE: I eventually was able to try out the “Top 2 Deluxe”, the model that boasts more power. Combined with the absolutely-essential Fingertip Attachment, I finally understood what everybody who loved it was talking about. I could truly get rid of all other attachments and solely use the Fingertip. It makes the difference; without it, I was feeling pretty lukewarm about even the Top 2 Deluxe model.  It’s a pricey spend, but will offer you a lot of variety with texture and sensation plus could be the thing that changes your mind about vibrators. It’s an “oscillator”, not a “vibrator”.

Wahl 7-in-1   2-speed Massager

That sounds so clinical, doesn’t it? This is another “body massager” that has become a pervertable vibrator in disguise. Not for those with sensitive clits, but it’s very different from the Hitachi’s power. The type of vibrations can’t even be compared. The Wahl comes with 7 little plastic attachments but to ME most are not going to work was a sex toy. Especially the scalp massager attachment (the one with nubby spikes). Ouch. There’s 2 speeds and they deliver more than just differing speeds….it’s totally different types of vibrations. The first is almost buzzy and surfacey but yet….not. Because long time readers will know that my clit doesn’t like that type and my clit loves the Wahl, both speeds. The second speed is…..whoa. Only for the aroused clit. The word “jackhammer” comes to mind, but not in a scary way. It’s not a numbing buzz like the Hitachi, it’s…..literally like a hammering/thumping sort of vibration. That might sound painful but I swear, it’s not. And holy shit is this thing QUIET especially on the first speed. On the first speed you wouldn’t be able to hear it from a few feet away. The cord is nice and long. The Wahl has become my go-to vibe now. Sure it looks funny but I can’t even tell you the last time I reached for my Hitachi since I now own this and the Climax Twist. Also, unlike the Hitachi, I never ever go numb from it, clit OR hand. This paragraph doesn’t even do it justice, maybe I’ll write about it more elsewhere, another time. LOVE IT. Buy one. BUY IT. You’ll love it.

Nobessence Seduction

The Nobessence Seduction is a pretty awesome dual-ended wood dildo. This dildo is NOT for those who think their vagina is small. This is a dildo for the size queens, but yet with some “warm up” many should be able to handle the larger end. I LOVE IT. I’ve used both ends; the larger end gives me the more broad g-spot action from feeling fulfilled, while the small knobby end can give pinpoint pressure. Due to the design, it’s anal safe, too, and that small end would be great for prostate massage. They use a different finishing method than Hans Hardwoods dildo I own, and it seems to seep into the wood giving it a 3D glowy sheen almost. It’s a pricey dildo but SO fucking worth it. And the packaging? Cute. CUTE! Hard pressed/colored/textured cardboard that is very thick and sturdy; the inside is padded and has a few elastic bands to hold the item in place.  I really can’t recommend this enough. It’s lightweight, it’s really well made, it can be sanitized and cleans up easily and is super beautiful.