Nov 282008

Every few months I get bored and post a CL ad. And just to prove that I’m for real (although most don’t believe me) I always include a photo. A real one! Of me! I make no bones that I’m BBW, and I am certain to make that loud and clear. I don’t want any surprises should I manage to find someone decent. So in my post I included the NYC HNT photo, but the full version with my face in it. They see me halfnekkid, nothing to hide, and my face.

Now, maybe I’m not universally attractive – I fully concede that many men are not attracted to larger women and you know what? That’s their right. I could make a stink about how that’s shallow, I’m a catch, blahblahblah. Fuck that. You are attracted to a person’s appearance first, in most cases (exceptions in the online world, yes I know, I’ve had it happen but that’s not what I’m talking about), and I would be lying if I said that I was giving a full fair shot to every single man who replied to my ad and that looks didn’t matter one iota. Because they do. Whether you admit it outloud or not, they do. Sure you can grow attraction over time. But that is most decidedly -not- what I’m after here, posting in the “casual encounters” section. I’m not looking for a nice guy, honey, I want fire and heat and a chemical reaction.

Apparently….and here’s the funny bit…you’re not allowed to be “picky” to your standards (hey, you don’t KNOW what my standards are, so don’t assume I want everyone to be Brad Pitt) if you’re not universally attractive. I received the most unfavorable replies to this ad (3) compared to all others I’ve placed. In the past I’ve stated my age range. That I would like them to be reasonably attractive, and fit (see? I’m shallow too. I am generally not attracted to overweight men with large guts, and let’s face it….it ain’t easy for two fat people to fuck). BUT – actually say I’m “picky”? Now…you tell me…did I say that I was picky about looks?

I’m looking for a local guy …..blahblah….reasonably fit and good looking……blahblahblah…I’m picky, so please be witty and intelligent in your email. At least try? The good things in life don’t come easy, ya know ;)

And so here comes this guy. How nice of him, he attached a photo but….*sigh* call me a snob, my intelli-squick radar goes off at textspeak in anyplace other than necessary (like texting while driving, or one-handed, or trying to fit your full thought into Twitter’s 140 character limit). But the kicker was the photo. He wasn’t necessarily ugly, but he didn’t appear to have all this teeth. Also…..he’s posing at Wal-mart. In his Wal-mart employee outfit. Dude….I fucking hate Wal-mart. I hate the shoppers and I hate the employees because without fail Wal-mart manages to hire from the dregs of the employment barrell. Can’t get a job anywhere else? Not even McD’s?? Go to Wal-Mart!! Seriously I’m fucking tempted, so tempted, to post the photo he sent me, but with part of his face blacked out. Tempted….

Please make note that I have copied his exact text and changed nothing.

hi there 32 yr old male in the XXX area too..i am interested in ur ad hope to hear from you soon..nice pic too

2 days later….

hi there well i responded to ur ad with a pic and havent heard a response from you so i hope u give me a chance im a heck of a guy..
2 days later….(today, Thanksgiving)
well i sent like a few messages to ya and no…if i can give advice ur not a bad lookin woman but u look overweight so i wouldnt be too just might miss out
Alright. I’ve had just about ENOUGH. Should I forward to him every response I got, every single one, praising my photo? No. But I’m tempted. And I’ve had an irritating day with family and the lovely skilled (/sarcasm) drivers of PA.
Perhaps you’re not wellversed in how this shit works, but when (real) women put up ads on CL, they are not able or willing to respond to -each- and -every- response to just say they’re not interested. For then, we give out our email address to guys we just turned down, and you men seem to take that awfully hard.
Really now, you’re a “heck of a guy”?? Yes, clearly I can see that. You lowered your standards -just- for me by claiming to be interested at first but now you say i’m merely only “not bad lookin(g)” but simply because I’m not thin I have no right to be at all picky and should just whore myself out to every unintelligent, unworthy “gentlemen” who deign to grace me with a favorable reply to my post.
Kiss my big fat ass, because I’ve had, no foolin!, just under 200 responses to my ad and I have indeed responded to some. It is my goddamn right to be picky. I am not a  400 pound hag with bad skin and no teeth.

Miss out? Yes, please, I’d like to miss out.

Update: As of 7pm, my ad was “flagged and removed” on Craigslist. People do this because they think it’s their duty to have the spam posts removed. However, I go to great lengths to ensure I don’t resemble the spammers. So what is left? Pissed off men. Pissed off that I’m fat. That I’m picky. That I didn’t reply to them or that I told them off.