Sep 182011

Maybe you’ve lived through it yourself with with a family member. Hurricane, tornado, fire, flood….

Or maybe you haven’t, and have just seen it on the news and felt bad but couldn’t fathom it. That was me. I couldn’t fathom it. Even though I was seeing the photos of the area before I got to my Mom’s, I couldn’t understand.

I didn’t get it that 90% was going to be lost. I knew she’d had water in there, muddy floody water, but I didn’t get it. I didn’t know that every single cabinet would be ripped out and tossed; a lot of furniture ruined; drywall and insulation ripped out and flooring too until it’s just studs and plywood. When I finally walked into the house it wasn’t the muddy, chaotic mess of the first two days. They were already well into the gutting out process but it was heartwrenching to see. It was a shock. Something she’d designed and built not 3 years ago quite. By the time I arrived, mold was growing on things. Some stuff made of cheaper stuff like particle-board or similar couldn’t be saved. A lot of heirloom pieces had the veneer peeling off. Some pieces got sent to a restorer in an emergency phone call after we realized we’d lose some really important shit if we didn’t. I lost the piano I grew up playing for so many years. I used to feel ambivalent about it, til it got ruined. But when the cost of saving it was weighed with the cost of other things, I gave it up. I’m still sad though.

Thankfully only a few of mom’s photo albums got soaked, the ones she wrote in descriptions for. But hundreds of packets of photos that never made it into albums got wet and I have them with me at home now, and will try to salvage them.

Everybody says things like “Your mom is safe, healthy and alive, and so are her cats – that’s all that really matters”. “Her house is still standing…..gutted, but can be saved – it could be worse”. Yes. These things are true. These things are true ONLY because we have amazing family and local volunteers. People also say “They’re only items/furniture”. But when the items are very old and belonged to generations long gone, they almost contain the ghosts of those people. The items hold memories. It’s hard to lose them. I look at that one piece and remember it being in my gram’s house, growing up. I remember what was in it when it was hers. It was going to be mine. It was someone else’s before it was Gram’s. A china cabinet (to which I have the matching table) is one of very few things rescued from my grandmother’s home as a child when it was burning. That china cabinet was saved from a fire, and now it’s being saved from a flood by a restorer.

I cried when I first walked into the house. I took photos. And then I lost it when I saw my daddy’s thermal vest hanging up on the porch railing, muddy. It was the only clothing item I’d kept of his. I can remember being small enough of a child that I could curl up in it while it was zipped, and hide in it. We were able to wash it and hopefully save it. I see that and see my dad. So no, these aren’t just THINGS.

The universe decided to kick me in the gut while I was gone, and my site got hacked while I was defenseless with no internet access or computer. Thankfully AAG was able to eventually find the stubborn cause and cure it. I also oddly got tons of requests to join ToySwap, all while I can’t do a thing about it. *shrugs* It can wait.

I’m glad to be home. I know mom needed me even though I couldn’t help physically much, but I couldn’t be there anymore. I was constantly tired and in pain and frustrated/emotional, just as she was. It’s not easy.

I can’t fathom if we’d been one of the ones to lose everything.

I can’t. We lost so much already, if we didn’t have these remaining pieces and photos to cling to I can’t even fathom it. I know I’d forget too many important memories in the near future. My photos are my memories, as my mind starts deteriorating because of the fibro.


Regular “sex” blogging will return somewhat soon, i think.

 Posted by at 8:32 pm

e[lust] #27

 Uncategorized  Comments Off on e[lust] #27
Jun 272011

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #28? Start with the rules and subscribe to the RSS feed and Twitter for updates and submission reminders.

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Ruby LOVES her body, so should YOUWhat ever size you are, love yourself, be nice to yourself and concentrate on health instead of looks.

Performances So, of course, I don’t have any sensation in my cock, but holy baby Jeebus, sinking into her is so fucking hot that I groan right along with her.

10 reasons why I shouldn’t have had sex, but did anywayI’ve written extensively about happy-sex; so now here are some of the more unpleasant reasons why I’ve had sex.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Energy OrgasmsThere is a moment, an incredible moment, when it feels like the universe is concentrated in my body.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Dangerous Lilly

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable ~after this point~. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A response to: #Slutwalk will not show our daughters how to get respect
Accidents Happen
All the Time in the World
Dear Jane: How Do I Gain Sensitivity Back After Masturbating Too Much?
Friday Flix: 10 Things We Would Like to Say
Hole. Confession #573
Look at me (please)
Lusting After Sexually Confident Women and HNT
Oh Really?
Sex Toy Collecting
Why Can’t I Orgasm?

Kink & Fetish

5 Kinky Toys from the Restaurant Supply Store
A Piece of Meat
An invite for naked flesh graffiti (photo story)
Being a Domme, Alone
Daddy’s Good Girl
Emotional Masochism
Fucktoy Friday: Urethra Play
Good Morning
Inexorable Love
More Adventures in Chastity
New figure nudes

Erotic Writing

Continentally Close
First Memory of Sex with Nicole
Far From the Madding Crowd
First kiss
green candle wax
Happy Birthday Baby Girl
Lusty Lips
My first swinging experience
Seducing my Professor
sexy bitch/sexy beast
Strapping On For the First Time
seminar slut
To seduce you
The Minotaur
Twisted Words
The Heist

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Gender Celebration Blog Carnival – A Call for Submissions
Marilyn Monroe: A Sex Goddess Searches For Her Elusive Orgasm

 Posted by at 9:01 am

elust #26

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Jun 182011


Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #27? Start with the rules and subscribe to the RSS feed and Twitter for updates and submission reminders.

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

BikeryThe mental image of Suzy mounting this thing and pedaling herself towards a quaking orgasm flashed across my mind’s eye and I grinned into her face.

If you are monogamous can you learn to be polyamorous?Do you think that someone who is monogamous can learn to be polyamorous for a partner, or do you think they are courting disaster?

Hot WaxI detached myself from what she was doing to me. *breathe* She pulled again. I came from the pain, motionless, silent, and helpless to stop it. She continued.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Spring My eyes wide, there was no time for reaction as another crowd was wandering down the path. Our eyes locked and Daniel smirked, attempting to find something innocuous to say.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

What is Sex Positive? Just because I create & run something, doesn’t mean I’m a dictator. e[lust] is as much yours as it is mine, and I value the opinions of everyone.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable ~after this point~. Thank you, and enjoy!.

Continue reading »

 Posted by at 7:07 am
Apr 162011

Open All the Way marks Sadie Smythe’s foray into long-range storytelling. Most well known for her outspoken commentary about relationship paradigms and the navigation through her own alternative arrangement with her husband Scott, Sadie is very excited to offer her loyal readers a larger-lensed view into her openly married life.

Each chapter of Open All the Way is an individual story in itself. But the combined ensemble compellingly chronicles her journey. Sadie, in her straightforward style, discusses openly and honestly the numerous pitfalls she and her husband encountered along the way, while intellectually and entertainingly supporting her choices. It’s sexy, smart, and provocative prose; a full, fascinating glimpse into an untraditional relationship.

I’ve been reading Sadie‘s book in my spare time this week. It’s a unique memoir-style book that her long-time fans will love. I highly suggest that you treat her book as you would a blog or even letters….what I mean is, read just one chapter a day. Give yourself time in between chapters, otherwise the timeline of things might get murky in your head if you’re anything like me, who plows through books. When read slowly, though, it’s like you’re sitting down with her over drinks as she shares a story with you in “Oh god, did I ever tell you about Carl??” style. The book is written in the same writing voice as her blog and you feel like you’re there with her in person as she tells her stories. I also really respect that she’s not peddling advice. This book is about her, not you; she’s not trying to sway you one way or the other into accepting or wanting to follow her lifestyle choices. But when you are considering the open marriage lifestyle it does help to hear from others who’ve been there. The good, the bad, and everything in between, because that is reality. And this book is Sadie’s reality. Well, 90%, as names have been changed to protect the innocent ;)

So have at it! Go buy Sadie’s book

 Posted by at 8:59 am
Jan 202011

Yeah this is just gonna be a long, rambly/ranty post about Twitter shit. Sorry.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I’m not the sort of Twitter person who gives a shit about the numbers. Or rather, I don’t care how many follow me. I don’t ask for more. When people request to follow me, unless I know of them, I usually stare and get all grumpy-old-man-get-off-my-lawn about it. There’s a reason I have a locked profile. Well, numerous reasons. But one of them is so that I don’t have irritating/annoying/spammy people following me. Recently, what appeared at first to be a spammy dude calling himself tiny_penis, asked to follow me. Based on his first tweets and his profile I declined. Why? numerous reasons really but he just didn’t seem to be the sort of person I wanted replying to my innocuous tweets and making them relevant to his tiny penis revolution.

Tangent: I decline a lot of people who request to follow me. I say and do and show things on Twitter that are more personal than my blog and so part of my pickiness is privacy protection. If someone doesn’t have a profile/timeline that interests me, seems relevant to me, or if they don’t have any tweets or just look “sketchy” to me then I don’t allow their request to follow. Men, and usually even women, who make it clear on their profile that their Twitter profile is a means and method to flirt and get cybersex are a definite no. Submissive men who only play the submissive role on their profile and in their tweets also probably won’t get in. I don’t want or need or like seeing a random barely-relevant reply to my tweets along the lines of “May I kneel at your feet” or something. Yes, I’ve had it, and that’s why I don’t allow them anymore.

So the tiny_penis guy gets a decline. And then (man this irks me when people do this, like I’m gonna change my mind??) requests again. THEN he @’s me on Twitter saying he knows I declined and wants to know why. First of all, my profile is locked and so he wouldn’t even see my reply.

But ….. yes he will. Because I made a comment on twitter about this, he then replies again to me saying he’s sorry to bother but what’s the harm in asking why? Which means he saw my tweet. I ask how and he claims a friend relayed it to him. I’m thinking this is just a secondary secret profile of someone already following me. That or he’s telling the truth and it’s a little creepy. Either way it’s creepy. If someone with a locked profile declines your request it is bad etiquette to start demanding to know WHY. It’s my timeline, my Twitter, my circle. I have control over it for a REASON and no I do NOT owe anybody explanations every time I decline a request.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Random irk: When people ask me on Twitter for my email address. Um, well, my blog address is in my profile and on this blog here my address is readily available. Lazy much?

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Random irk 2 (and 3 and 4, clearly): Why do some people RT a FollowFriday in which they were named? If you’d like to thank someone for it, then just @ them directly.  And why do some people FF me when they don’t ever interact with me? If you actually thought me interesting and worth following, wouldn’t you interact with me on Twitter? And WHY do some people RT a tweet in order to reply to the person. I don’t need to see your conversation if I don’t follow the person.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I’ve gotten a little more heavy-handed with unfollowing lately. I’ve unfollowed some people and it doesn’t mean I don’t like them anymore (in most cases). Why do people get so pissy about that? It’s not always personal – I might very well still read and like your blog and you as a person. But some people that were in my timeline were either doing nothing by RT’ing/Tweeting about EF/Sexis articles and not saying anything personal; or doing so many effin contest tweets that it felt like it was all I ever saw from them. I’m sorry if I don’t want to see bombardments of contest entries, thirteen tweets about an article, you selling your used panties, or your incessant hashtag games. I clearly personally offended these people so most did the retaliatory unfollow. *sigh* Go for it if it helps you. Why does unfollowing someone on Twitter have to be taken SO fucking seriously?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Actually, why does ANY of this shit matter? To me, to you, at all?

Man I’m ranty. I thought about being cheeky and adding a poll to see how many people reading this got personally offended, but what’s the point? If you are, speak the hell up and say so.

 Posted by at 1:44 pm
Jul 042010

Thanks to everyone who entered the giveaway, but mostly a big huge thank you to those who donated the prizes! I had 443 contest entries overall.

Very shortly after this post goes live, I will be emailing the winners. They will receive all pertinent prize-collecting info then. If for any reason I don’t hear back from the any of the winners within a week, then I’ll pick a replacement. Given how voraciously all of these people entered away, using up nearly all of the available entry methods, I highly doubt I’ll have trouble reaching them though.


To start off is the gift of education from Princess Kali. The Kink Academy 1-year membership goes to……..

Sea of Neptune!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ donated the vastly popular Njoy Pure Wand. This was, as I suspected, the most entered-for prize over all with 188 entries. The winner is……….




Yes, there’s a however with the Pure Wand.

Since there were 188 entries for the Pure Wand, I got to thinking that it was a shame I had to choose one winner. As it turns out, I don’t have to….. and I worked out a little deal and I personally paid for a second Pure Wand for me to give away. So the winner of the second Pure Wand is…….



~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Moving along to the Fascinations prize, the Fleshlight Lady Vibro goes to…..



~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ donated a wonderful, silicone Tantus dildo, the Twilight Vamp Dildo! The winner of that is…..



~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Good Vibrations put up the Wahl 2-Speed massager for someone to win and that person is…..

Annette Burke!


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And last but certainly not least is the awesome prize donated by MauiKink. Having a unique, handmade wooden paddle and hemp bondage rope is damn near at the top of the “best things” a kinkster can own. Who is the lucky winner?



I love giving stuff away. And this contest I think went well. While I did notice a number of people not entering correctly, most people did and it wasn’t difficult for me to gather up the entries. The last time I did a contest where Twitter entries were accepted I just let people get away with using a hashtag. I had trouble finding them all, though, which is why I insisted on a comment per entry. I hope to hear from the prize winners in some way once they’ve received their items to see how they like it.



 Posted by at 2:25 pm