e[lust] #10

 e[lust]  Comments Off on e[lust] #10
Mar 302010
 


HNT Courtesy of Babe Lincoln

Welcome to e[lust] – The 10th edition! Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #11? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Negotiation – Not Nearly As Awkward As Having a Breakdown in PublicAll the worries about getting to know a new person (“Am I dressed ok? Are they gonna like my stories about my grandma?”) get exaggerated when you’re talking about sex and desire…

Dollar Store DommeHe definitely can’t elude the dollops of toothpaste I dab onto his nipples. It takes a delicious second before he feels the cool burn penetrate his flesh. By that time I’m already up and selecting a plastic spatula from the credenza.

The Best of Both Worlds or Lost in Limbo?Whether intentional or unthinking, bisexual denial is a frustrating thing for bisexual, pansexual or ‘fluid’ people to have to deal with.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Navigating Genderqueer in SuburbiaBut pray tell how do the rest of us navigate it? How the hell am I supposed to know if you identify as male or just like dressing like one?

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

The Daddy Issue: Sexualizing AbuseI needed to walk through this fear, and turn it into pleasure. I needed to prove to myself that he hadn’t broken me. That he hadn’t changed who I was to become. That I was not affected by what he did. That he didn’t abuse me.

See also: Pleasurists #69 and #70 for all your sex toy review needs.

Continue reading »

 Posted by at 9:49 pm
Mar 302010
 

A friend’s recent detailing on Twitter about catching her son masturbating in her room to her porn and the ensuing information shared between the two of them in casual conversation reminded me of another story from another friend. Now, the other friend is one from real life who is decidedly less “sexually open” but still in the more progressive camp. This friend, I’ll call her Donna, got pregnant at a very young age and so she’s 16 yrs older than her daughter who’s a freshman at college, and her son is coming of age at 17 yrs old. In a dual attempt at heading off unsafe sex and being a better parent, she made sure her kids always knew that if they needed birth control and condoms that she’d rather they come to her than hide it and get in trouble.

That openness led to her teenage son inappropriately oversharing one night to his mortified mother, telling her that him and his girl-0f-the-week had tried anal sex and hey mom have YOU tried it? After her shock wore off she told him that that was none of his business, nor was it any of hers. She would get him more condoms if need be, but didn’t want or need to hear personal details.To be clear, he wasn’t asking questions on “how” he was just relating his experience in a friendly “wow that was awesome” sort of way.

And I agree, but yet…..call it a double standard if you will, if that same information were being discussed with her daughter I think she would have freaked out a little bit less. And if it were her daughter sharing the info with her, I’d have been less squicked-by-proxy.As it is, I’m hoping I don’t have to see her son any time soon because I’ll have a bit of a hard time talking to him, knowing what I know now. What I wish I didn’t know.

Am I wrong? “unprogessive”? Closed-minded? I think that intimately personal information like that shouldn’t be shared between mother and son or father and daughter, no matter the intent and relationship. Between mother and daughter, and father and son? I feel differently about it. It can be discussed in a friend-yet-parental way. If you don’t agree with me, can you explain why?

I can recall a time in HS when I found condoms in my parents headboard. I was MORTIFIED. My father knew I’d seen them, as I was helping look for something and he’d said “no they’re not in there” but I opened the door before the message got to my brain. We didn’t speak of it. Neither of us wanted to. I can’t even imagine finding a sex toy or porn belonging to a parent and ugh no no especially not my father. My mother? Eh, we don’t have that sort of “my mother is my best friend so let’s help each other buy sex toys and shop for clothes and talk about our sex lives” relationship and we never, ever will.It was really fucking surreal and twilight-zone when my pot-noob mom asked me if I could get her some weed so she could try it. And oh yeah, something inconspicuous to smoke it out of. I spent my early 20’s HIDING my smoking (both kinds) habit from her….now she wants me to supply her and join in. I’m not sure I can cross that internal boundary.

This whole topic though is 100% different from the necessary sex ed talks that should be given by whatever parent is around and capable. It’s different, and a parental duty. Just wanted to make that point known.

As a bystander, I don’t even want YOU to tell ME about your teenage son or daughter and what they’ve done. To me that’s betraying a privacy and confidence, even if it’s just your kid and not a big deal to you. Your kid would be humiliated if they knew.

In a similar vein, I’m wondering if/when I should discreetly let my 17 yr old favorite cousin know that if she “needs anything” she can privately come to me. Her boyfriend and both families are fairly religious; he’s a missionary at only 19. But the moment I heard that he got her a webcam so they could see each other while chatting long distance? My “omg I was a teenager once and if we had webcams back then?!?!” reaction was “Oh hell NO they’re not just chitchatting!!”. But I hesitate to say anything to her. Does she need a “cool aunt”? Is it overstepping? Don’t I wish I’d known more my freshman year of college? But what if my assumptions are wrong and she’s really and truly a good girl and destined to be a virgin for at least 3 more years? But then I watch Gossip Girl (shut UP) and think “wow….are kids these days really this debaucherous? was I that innocent?” And I just don’t know the answers.

 Posted by at 10:16 am
Mar 292010
 

Thanks to this blog I’ve been to NYC four times now whereas I’d never been there before. I’ve become friends with people all over the country, and even in other hemispheres! But this time, the blog is taking me to Seattle.

Literally, the blog, because it’s advertising money that bought my plane ticket, lol.

Why Seattle, you might ask? My girl, Coy Pink, lives in Washington State and so I’m going to visit her in a month from now and one of my days there she’s going to show me around Seattle. There’s another reason for our visit, but I’m keeping that a secret for awhile ;)

I’m actually pretty damn nervous about it, to be honest. For one, she’s hot. Have you seen her???? I go to her HNT’s first and um, well, I tend to save some on my hard drive…..ya know…..for um. artistic inspiration. Um. yeah. Aaaaaanyways. For two…..I’ve essentially never flown before, and I’m doing the flight all on my own cause I’m a big kid now! I’m afraid of heights. I’m afraid to fly. I get all furklemptz when I have to go blindly into places & situations that I’ve never been in. I would honestly not be surprised if at some point during the trip I screw up and miss a plane. Sadly I couldn’t afford a no-stops plane so I have layovers both ways in Atlanta for an hour or so.

If you’ve been in the Atlanta airport, tell me a few good places to eat!!! I’ll be there for breakfast on Saturday and dinner on Monday. I don’t think they serve food on flights anymore, right?

For anybody who has flown out of the Seatac airport – do I REALLY NEED to get there a full two hours before a flight?? Really? Truly?


Totally Random Unrelated Question Time:

Does it bother you when people mis-spell your name? Am I being childish when it bothers me that someone will call me Lily when it says Lilly right there in front of them be it in the comment field, my email sig, or Twitter? How bout I just call you Tom or Jane next time, regardless of your actual name?

God I’m getting cranky in my old age. In a couple of months I’ll be more into my mid-30’s than early-30’s.

Mar 282010
 

You know, I don’t get ALL my sex toys for free. Sometimes I get impatient and just buy them. Sometimes I do a “buy out” for review at edenfantasys.com which means I get a discount but I still have to review it, such as the Devine Play Chest or the Fleshlight.

But there’s things I purchased with my own money (err…I mean EF giftcards that I got from writing for Edencafe plus the commissions I got from affiliate sales at EF) recently that I want to talk about, both the good and the bad. So read on for my thoughts on the Toiboks Original, the Erosillator 2, a couple of toy storage bags, the Nobessence Seduction dildo, and the Wahl 7-in-1 2-speed Massager.

Toibocks Original

This is a pricey yet unique toy storage item for someone with a few bedside toys that needs total privacy and discretion. The Toibocks IS beautiful, a dark mahogany wood that looks like a plain box and the lid opens to reveal a jewelry-tray thing. Keep cheap jewelry there, watch, anything that you like that’s average and doesn’t warrant a closer look. To anybody that looks at it in depth they’ll know that the box is big but the tray is shallow and try to lift up the tray. But it is locked in place with no obvious key hole. The key is contained within this piece that is stored inside the box magnetically to the metal logo on the underside of the lid. Problem is, in my eyes, that “key” is obvious that it doesn’t belong. In other pictures I had thought it to be metal, but it’s just plastic. Not even fake-chrome-plated plastic, it’s the swirly metallic-silver and so it looks like an oversized play-money coin from a child’s board game, and that’s really my only disappointment with this whole thing. The box is lined with velveteen-flocked cardboard and appears to be well made and sturdy. Like I said…..pricey, not for storing serious valuables, but it IS pretty and inconspicuous. Good choice for bedside storage if you have roommates or kids.

Toy Pouches

These are being sold under EdenFantasys as the brand, and are cute drawstring toy pouches. I purchased one of each, unable to tell exactly if one was better/different than the other. Other than one having the EF logo in glued-on rhinestones, there’s absolutely no different and IMO not really worth sending the extra $6. They come in black or purple on the outside and it’s a faux-suede material. The inside is a hot pink satin. Sturdy, thick cords make up the drawstring. Shiny silicone dildos/vibrators will not smoothly glide along the satin on the inside, so I took one and turned it inside out (that’s the pink one you see above). While the suede will likely stain more easily if the dildo isn’t clean, it can be easier to use it this way for some toys. I was able to fit the Wahl in the pouch by removing the attachment and just dropping it in the bag. I could probably fit one more attachment in it. Toys longer than 9.5-10″ won’t fit in and still let the pouch close.

Eroscillator 2

After reading Epiphora’s stellar, glowing review I decided to try it out. However….her review was for the tippy top super deluxe package of every attachment plus the stronger motor. SheVibe carries various packages, but the one I first tried was the “2 Plus” basic kit. I liked it….but it wasn’t perfect for ME. I like pressure and with the oscillations you can’t apply pressure, or they’ll slow down a lot. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this though for other women, so long as they don’t require pressure like I do. It can be powerful or subtle, good for a wide range of women. Even my husband liked the sensation of it when I applied it to his hard cock, at the frenulum. I think that I could love it if I was able to try out the super deluxe package, with a more powerful motor and different attachments. In the end, I wound up loving  the Wahl so much that I no longer reached for the E2 and so I gave it to Backseat Boohoo as a surprise. (she loved it)

UPDATE: I eventually was able to try out the “Top 2 Deluxe”, the model that boasts more power. Combined with the absolutely-essential Fingertip Attachment, I finally understood what everybody who loved it was talking about. I could truly get rid of all other attachments and solely use the Fingertip. It makes the difference; without it, I was feeling pretty lukewarm about even the Top 2 Deluxe model.  It’s a pricey spend, but will offer you a lot of variety with texture and sensation plus could be the thing that changes your mind about vibrators. It’s an “oscillator”, not a “vibrator”.

Wahl 7-in-1   2-speed Massager

That sounds so clinical, doesn’t it? This is another “body massager” that has become a pervertable vibrator in disguise. Not for those with sensitive clits, but it’s very different from the Hitachi’s power. The type of vibrations can’t even be compared. The Wahl comes with 7 little plastic attachments but to ME most are not going to work was a sex toy. Especially the scalp massager attachment (the one with nubby spikes). Ouch. There’s 2 speeds and they deliver more than just differing speeds….it’s totally different types of vibrations. The first is almost buzzy and surfacey but yet….not. Because long time readers will know that my clit doesn’t like that type and my clit loves the Wahl, both speeds. The second speed is…..whoa. Only for the aroused clit. The word “jackhammer” comes to mind, but not in a scary way. It’s not a numbing buzz like the Hitachi, it’s…..literally like a hammering/thumping sort of vibration. That might sound painful but I swear, it’s not. And holy shit is this thing QUIET especially on the first speed. On the first speed you wouldn’t be able to hear it from a few feet away. The cord is nice and long. The Wahl has become my go-to vibe now. Sure it looks funny but I can’t even tell you the last time I reached for my Hitachi since I now own this and the Climax Twist. Also, unlike the Hitachi, I never ever go numb from it, clit OR hand. This paragraph doesn’t even do it justice, maybe I’ll write about it more elsewhere, another time. LOVE IT. Buy one. BUY IT. You’ll love it.

Nobessence Seduction

The Nobessence Seduction is a pretty awesome dual-ended wood dildo. This dildo is NOT for those who think their vagina is small. This is a dildo for the size queens, but yet with some “warm up” many should be able to handle the larger end. I LOVE IT. I’ve used both ends; the larger end gives me the more broad g-spot action from feeling fulfilled, while the small knobby end can give pinpoint pressure. Due to the design, it’s anal safe, too, and that small end would be great for prostate massage. They use a different finishing method than Hans Hardwoods dildo I own, and it seems to seep into the wood giving it a 3D glowy sheen almost. It’s a pricey dildo but SO fucking worth it. And the packaging? Cute. CUTE! Hard pressed/colored/textured cardboard that is very thick and sturdy; the inside is padded and has a few elastic bands to hold the item in place.  I really can’t recommend this enough. It’s lightweight, it’s really well made, it can be sanitized and cleans up easily and is super beautiful.

 

 

 

 

Mar 272010
 

There really aren’t many vibrators made in the wood/glass/ceramic area of sex toys. Edenfantasys decided to have their own line of products (the toy is made by Doc Johnson, though) and one of the first is this glass vibrator they gave me to review. It’s interesting. But am I gaga over it?

Nah. I could honestly take it or leave it.

Plenty of others love it though so don’t take my word as gospel. It’s just not for me.

In order to make a glass vibrator, it’s really just a glass “sheath” over a traditional vibe. This lends a unique appearance to it, as the color of the inner portion is given neat reflections and appearance by being covered in textured, clear glass. However, the vibrations need to travel through a lot more material to escape to your skin. While I wouldn’t say that this vibe is weak, it isn’t, it’s just not something I’m excited about nor is it going to get me off. Keep in mind that I’m pretyt pick though so it’s quite possible that many others could love it.

It’s straight and short (6″ overall, 4.5″ insertable), which in my book only a few sex toys can get away with being straight and short and manage to work for me. This one doesn’t work for me as an insertable because of the shape and the textures. Wow the texture. You can see for yourself here in the photos.

Because I really also like pressure on my clit along with vibrations, I wasn’t able to love the texture on the tip for use as a clit vibe, either.

Kissa is a simple, 3-speed vibrator. No (useless, IMO) patterns, just 3 speeds (1 AA battery, like a pocket rocket) which are controlled via a single push-button on the very bottom of the handle end. Depending on how you’re using the toy and how you tend to hold toys I guess it’s possible that it could get changed/turned off easily. Even though it’s a vibrator, it is waterproof. Just don’t go running it through your dishwasher like you would a glass dildo, lol. I did find though that it wasn’t particularly easy to clean around the nubs and the raised swirl. It required some attention to detail.

One thing that glass is great for is temperature play. Let Kissa rest in a bowl of warm (not hot!!!) water or icy water and torture pleasure yourself or your partner with a mix of temperature, texture and vibration. Since it’s glass, a little lube goes a long way (use any kind your heart desires). I’d say this vibe would be great for nipples, good for clits and insertable if you can tolerate the texture, but never to be used anally.

The color is pretty, I quite like the metallic look underneath the glass. The color is not, however, accurate if you look at the photos on the site. Their photos make it appear as a straight, powerful red – which metallic red, to me, is gorgeous. This is more of a…..mauve? Dusty rose? Unsaturated burgundy? But not straight red. Of course, my cunt doesn’t give a shit what color it is, lol.


One other thing that I want to mention is the packaging and extras. EF really did well on the packaging, I think. It’s not luxury nor are you expecting that. But there’s nothing cheesy or cheap about it. It’s a simple plastic bag with a colorful EF logo’d cardboard topper which gives a surprising amount of information about the toy. Would be perfect in a brick store. The Kissa also comes with a cute and functional black “velvet” pouch that’s sturdy enough to keep other items from chipping your glass vibrator. The closure is a really nice drawstring sort but with one of those plastic cord-clampers to keep it shut without needing to know your Boy Scout knots.

Petite Couture Cashmere Rabbit Vibrator

 Internal Vibrator, Reviews, Sex Toys  Comments Off on Petite Couture Cashmere Rabbit Vibrator
Mar 272010
 

At first glance, the Cashmere appealed to me visually. A nice matte-silver handle, pleasant Easter-purple silicone and best of all no damn animals on the clit vibe. Even better, no itty-bitty ears/antennae/horns/legs protruding from the clit portion. It takes more than butterfly whispers for my clit to be happy. Of course there is a bit of protruding silicone (if I had to give it a vague shape, I’d compare it to a dolphin snout) where the clit stimulator is concerned and it of course extends a little past the actual vibrating bit. It manages to transmit the vibrations decently, though.

There’s two types of silicone toys….shiny and matte finish. Even though matte finish can lend a little more resistance to the party, I prefer it because it works less like a fur & lint atomic magnet (have you ever managed to clean the dusty corner of your headboard cubby just by wanding a silicone dildo around the area? I have. It worked brilliantly, sadly.). So it’s got a nice, classy design; matte silicone; no animals; and a box with no silicone tits pictured. We’re heading for a win, right?

Not so fast….

I’ve only owned one other rabbit vibe, and in order to tell you why I don’t think this one is worth the money, I have to mention my old one. My old one (akin to the DJ iRabbit) had more bells n whistles. Sure it looked more gaudy and was not body-safe silicone, but it DID MORE. The shaft rotated and had swirling beads and something else. The controls on the base offered at once more confusion and more detail. You didn’t need to just cycle through the settings in ascending order, you could go forwards, backwards or off with one click. I can give you equal arguments for and against on having more control buttons. Given all that this rabbit vibe did, I had felt justified in paying around $80. Until, of course, the rotating motor died because my cunt clamped down too hard at orgasm!

Anyways, onto the current contestant.

The insertable portion does nothing other than rotate at the tip to three different speeds. That’s it. One direction, no vibration, no pearls (altho I must admit the pearls in other rabbits didn’t do anything for me). At 1 1/4″ wide, the shaft isn’t girthy enough to wow me. Nor were the rotational movements enough to even raise an eyebrow for me.

From the base of the clitoral vibe to the tip of the shaft, it is 4.75″. 3.25″ from the tip of the clit vibe to the tip of the g-spot section. Since I’ve never actually stuck a ruler up my cunt to measure and plot out in autocad where my g-spot and clit are in numbers, I don’t suppose that these numbers do most of you any good. The clitoral vibe offers vibration at three different power levels (the last one is very noisy if it’s not buried in your snatch) and then 4 different pattern settings which are pretty basic. As I mentioned before, the insertable part only offers up rotation of the last inch or so, a fairly shallow rotation in 3 different speeds.

There are only 3 buttons on the handle. On/Off, the button controlling the clitoral vibe, and the button controlling the shaft. If you accidentally change a setting, you must cycle thru (including one click which turns off that section) to get back to where you were. The buttons DO light up when the power is “on” but otherwise the lights don’t tell you anything. The battery compartment is nice. A simple and easy-to-open cap clicks open with a shallow turn where the separate battery-holder then slides out. This allows batteries to be put in properly with ease. Sadly though it takes 3 AAA batteries, which aren’t as common in my house. 

I could never feel comfortable in saying that *this* rabbit vibrator (this being any of them) will work for most women. I can’t say that – I don’t know how deep or shallow your g-spot is situated, same with your clit.

This vibe got me off, surprisingly, but it was a very boring orgasm to be truthful. In fact the shaft and its rotations didn’t enhance my experience or orgasm. Since this toy isn’t yet available for purchase, I don’t know the exact price but I’m sure it will be close to the other Couture Collection rabbits from CE – around $80 Is it worth $80? Not even close. $50? Sure, I’d pay $50. I can look at this and see that the only redeeming quality is the silicone (Medical grade from the land of magic, Japan. Seriously, why does Japan supposedly have premium silicone? It’s all medical grade provided it’s actually 100% pure silicone, isn’t it?? and if not, then what’s the 411 on non-medical-grade silicone?). The handle, the buttons, the vibration power and functions of the toy overall are very…..forgettable. My first few experiences with my old rabbit vibe left me breathless and giddy. This? meh.

 Posted by at 12:04 pm