Posted by Lilly | 25 Comments
HNT: At the Office
Kinky mixed with classic all rolled up in femme. It feels a little naughty to wear fishnets in a office such as mine!
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e[lust] #10
HNT Courtesy of Babe Lincoln
Welcome to e[lust] - The 10th edition! Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #11? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~
Negotiation – Not Nearly As Awkward As Having a Breakdown in Public – All the worries about getting to know a new person (“Am I dressed ok? Are they gonna like my stories about my grandma?”) get exaggerated when you’re talking about sex and desire…
Dollar Store Domme – He definitely can’t elude the dollops of toothpaste I dab onto his nipples. It takes a delicious second before he feels the cool burn penetrate his flesh. By that time I’m already up and selecting a plastic spatula from the credenza.
The Best of Both Worlds or Lost in Limbo? – Whether intentional or unthinking, bisexual denial is a frustrating thing for bisexual, pansexual or ‘fluid’ people to have to deal with.
~ e[lust] Editress ~
Navigating Genderqueer in Suburbia – But pray tell how do the rest of us navigate it? How the hell am I supposed to know if you identify as male or just like dressing like one?
~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~
The Daddy Issue: Sexualizing Abuse – I needed to walk through this fear, and turn it into pleasure. I needed to prove to myself that he hadn’t broken me. That he hadn’t changed who I was to become. That I was not affected by what he did. That he didn’t abuse me.
See also: Pleasurists #69 and #70 for all your sex toy review needs.
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Posted by Lilly | 6 Comments
Teenage Boundaries
A friend’s recent detailing on Twitter about catching her son masturbating in her room to her porn and the ensuing information shared between the two of them in casual conversation reminded me of another story from another friend. Now, the other friend is one from real life who is decidedly less “sexually open” but still in the more progressive camp. This friend, I’ll call her Donna, got pregnant at a very young age and so she’s 16 yrs older than her daughter who’s a freshman at college, and her son is coming of age at 17 yrs old. In a dual attempt at heading off unsafe sex and being a better parent, she made sure her kids always knew that if they needed birth control and condoms that she’d rather they come to her than hide it and get in trouble.
That openness led to her teenage son inappropriately oversharing one night to his mortified mother, telling her that him and his girl-0f-the-week had tried anal sex and hey mom have YOU tried it? After her shock wore off she told him that that was none of his business, nor was it any of hers. She would get him more condoms if need be, but didn’t want or need to hear personal details.To be clear, he wasn’t asking questions on “how” he was just relating his experience in a friendly “wow that was awesome” sort of way.
And I agree, but yet…..call it a double standard if you will, if that same information were being discussed with her daughter I think she would have freaked out a little bit less. And if it were her daughter sharing the info with her, I’d have been less squicked-by-proxy.As it is, I’m hoping I don’t have to see her son any time soon because I’ll have a bit of a hard time talking to him, knowing what I know now. What I wish I didn’t know.
Am I wrong? “unprogessive”? Closed-minded? I think that intimately personal information like that shouldn’t be shared between mother and son or father and daughter, no matter the intent and relationship. Between mother and daughter, and father and son? I feel differently about it. It can be discussed in a friend-yet-parental way. If you don’t agree with me, can you explain why?
I can recall a time in HS when I found condoms in my parents headboard. I was MORTIFIED. My father knew I’d seen them, as I was helping look for something and he’d said “no they’re not in there” but I opened the door before the message got to my brain. We didn’t speak of it. Neither of us wanted to. I can’t even imagine finding a sex toy or porn belonging to a parent and ugh no no especially not my father. My mother? Eh, we don’t have that sort of “my mother is my best friend so let’s help each other buy sex toys and shop for clothes and talk about our sex lives” relationship and we never, ever will.It was really fucking surreal and twilight-zone when my pot-noob mom asked me if I could get her some weed so she could try it. And oh yeah, something inconspicuous to smoke it out of. I spent my early 20′s HIDING my smoking (both kinds) habit from her….now she wants me to supply her and join in. I’m not sure I can cross that internal boundary.
This whole topic though is 100% different from the necessary sex ed talks that should be given by whatever parent is around and capable. It’s different, and a parental duty. Just wanted to make that point known.
As a bystander, I don’t even want YOU to tell ME about your teenage son or daughter and what they’ve done. To me that’s betraying a privacy and confidence, even if it’s just your kid and not a big deal to you. Your kid would be humiliated if they knew.
In a similar vein, I’m wondering if/when I should discreetly let my 17 yr old favorite cousin know that if she “needs anything” she can privately come to me. Her boyfriend and both families are fairly religious; he’s a missionary at only 19. But the moment I heard that he got her a webcam so they could see each other while chatting long distance? My “omg I was a teenager once and if we had webcams back then?!?!” reaction was “Oh hell NO they’re not just chitchatting!!”. But I hesitate to say anything to her. Does she need a “cool aunt”? Is it overstepping? Don’t I wish I’d known more my freshman year of college? But what if my assumptions are wrong and she’s really and truly a good girl and destined to be a virgin for at least 3 more years? But then I watch Gossip Girl (shut UP) and think “wow….are kids these days really this debaucherous? was I that innocent?” And I just don’t know the answers.
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Posted by Lilly | 6 Comments
This blog takes me many places….
Thanks to this blog I’ve been to NYC four times now whereas I’d never been there before. I’ve become friends with people all over the country, and even in other hemispheres! But this time, the blog is taking me to Seattle.
Literally, the blog, because it’s advertising money that bought my plane ticket, lol.
Why Seattle, you might ask? My girl, Coy Pink, lives in Washington State and so I’m going to visit her in a month from now and one of my days there she’s going to show me around Seattle. There’s another reason for our visit, but I’m keeping that a secret for awhile ;)
I’m actually pretty damn nervous about it, to be honest. For one, she’s hot. Have you seen her???? I go to her HNT’s first and um, well, I tend to save some on my hard drive…..ya know…..for um. artistic inspiration. Um. yeah. Aaaaaanyways. For two…..I’ve essentially never flown before, and I’m doing the flight all on my own cause I’m a big kid now! I’m afraid of heights. I’m afraid to fly. I get all furklemptz when I have to go blindly into places & situations that I’ve never been in. I would honestly not be surprised if at some point during the trip I screw up and miss a plane. Sadly I couldn’t afford a no-stops plane so I have layovers both ways in Atlanta for an hour or so.
If you’ve been in the Atlanta airport, tell me a few good places to eat!!! I’ll be there for breakfast on Saturday and dinner on Monday. I don’t think they serve food on flights anymore, right?
For anybody who has flown out of the Seatac airport – do I REALLY NEED to get there a full two hours before a flight?? Really? Truly?
Totally Random Unrelated Question Time:
Does it bother you when people mis-spell your name? Am I being childish when it bothers me that someone will call me Lily when it says Lilly right there in front of them be it in the comment field, my email sig, or Twitter? How bout I just call you Tom or Jane next time, regardless of your actual name?
God I’m getting cranky in my old age. In a couple of months I’ll be more into my mid-30′s than early-30′s.
Read MoreAll text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission, email dangerouslilly @ gmail.com
Posted by Lilly | 3 Comments
Shopping Sprees
You know, I don’t get ALL my sex toys for free. Sometimes I get impatient and just buy them. Sometimes I do a “buy out” for review at edenfantasys.com which means I get a discount but I still have to review it, such as the Devine Play Chest or the Fleshlight.
But there’s things I purchased with my own money (err…I mean EF giftcards that I got from writing for Edencafe plus the commissions I got from affiliate sales at EF) recently that I want to talk about, both the good and the bad. So read on for my thoughts on the Toiboks Original, the Erosillator 2, a couple of toy storage bags, some rope from Twisted Monk, the Nobessence Seduction dildo, and the Wahl 7-in-1 2-speed Massager.
Toibocks Original
This is a pricey yet unique toy storage item for someone with a few bedside toys that needs total privacy and discretion. The Toibocks IS beautiful, a dark mahogany wood that looks like a plain box and the lid opens to reveal a jewelry-tray thing. Keep cheap jewelry there, watch, anything that you like that’s average and doesn’t warrant a closer look. To anybody that looks at it in depth they’ll know that the box is big but the tray is shallow and try to lift up the tray. But it is locked in place with no obvious key hole. The key is contained within this piece that is stored inside the box magnetically to the metal logo on the underside of the lid. Problem is, in my eyes, that “key” is obvious that it doesn’t belong. In other pictures I had thought it to be metal, but it’s just plastic. Not even fake-chrome-plated plastic, it’s the swirly metallic-silver and so it looks like an oversized play-money coin from a child’s board game, and that’s really my only disappointment with this whole thing. The box is lined with velveteen-flocked cardboard and appears to be well made and sturdy. Like I said…..pricey, not for storing serious valuables, but it IS pretty and inconspicuous. Good choice for bedside storage if you have roommates or kids.
Toy Pouches
These are being sold under EdenFantasys as the brand, and are cute drawstring toy pouches. I purchased one of each, unable to tell exactly if one was better/different than the other. Other than one having the EF logo in glued-on rhinestones, there’s absolutely no different and IMO not really worth sending the extra $6. They come in black or purple on the outside and it’s a faux-suede material. The inside is a hot pink satin. Sturdy, thick cords make up the drawstring. Shiny silicone dildos/vibrators will not smoothly glide along the satin on the inside, so I took one and turned it inside out (that’s the pink one you see above). While the suede will likely stain more easily if the dildo isn’t clean, it can be easier to use it this way for some toys. I was able to fit the Wahl in the pouch by removing the attachment and just dropping it in the bag. I could probably fit one more attachment in it. Toys longer than 9.5-10″ won’t fit in and still let the pouch close.
Eroscillator 2
After reading Epiphora’s stellar, glowing review I decided to try it out. However….her review was for the tippy top super deluxe package of every attachment plus the stronger motor. EF sells a basic package of the standard motor body and 3 attachments. I liked it….but it wasn’t perfect for ME. I like pressure and with the oscillations you can’t apply pressure, or they’ll slow down a lot. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this though for other women, so long as they don’t require pressure like I do. It can be powerful or subtle, good for a wide range of women. Even my husband liked the sensation of it when I applied it to his hard cock, at the frenulum. I think that I could love it if I was able to try out the super deluxe package, with a more powerful motor and different attachments. In the end, I wound up loving this next toy so much that I no longer reached for the E2 and so I gave it to Backseat Boohoo as a surprise. (she loved it)
Wahl 7-in-1 2-speed Massager
That sounds so clinical, doesn’t it? This is another “body massager” that has become a pervertable vibrator in disguise. Not for those with sensitive clits, but it’s very different from the Hitachi’s power. The type of vibrations can’t even be compared. The Wahl comes with 7 little plastic attachments but to ME most are not going to work was a sex toy. Especially the scalp massager attachment (the one with nubby spikes). Ouch. There’s 2 speeds and they deliver more than just differing speeds….it’s totally different types of vibrations. The first is almost buzzy and surfacey but yet….not. Because long time readers will know that my clit doesn’t like that type and my clit loves the Wahl, both speeds. The second speed is…..whoa. Only for the aroused clit. The word “jackhammer” comes to mind, but not in a scary way. It’s not a numbing buzz like the Hitachi, it’s…..literally like a hammering/thumping sort of vibration. That might sound painful but I swear, it’s not. And holy shit is this thing QUIET especially on the first speed. On the first speed you wouldn’t be able to hear it from a few feet away. The cord is nice and long. The Wahl has become my go-to vibe now. Sure it looks funny but I can’t even tell you the last time I reached for my Hitachi since I now own this and the Climax Twist. Also, unlike the Hitachi, I never ever go numb from it, clit OR hand. This paragraph doesn’t even do it justice, maybe I’ll write about it more elsewhere, another time. LOVE IT. Buy one. BUY IT. You’ll love it.
Nobessence Seduction
It’s called the “S-shape” on the EF site….why, I don’t know. They do that with all the Nobessence dildos – list them on the site as a weird, generic non-Nobessence name. It makes it hard to locate them, IMO. While you can’t have the choices in wood type/color that you’d get if you bought it directly from Nobessence what you CAN get is the occasional really good sale. This dildo is NOT for those who think their vagina is small. This is a dildo for the size queens, but yet with some “warm up” most women should be able to handle it. LOVE IT. But I don’t use it on myself, because I can’t get the right angle. Love having hub use it on me though. It’s pretty wood, too. They use a different finishing method than Hans, and it seems to seep into the wood giving it a 3D glowy sheen almost. It’s a pricey dildo but SO fucking worth it. And the packaging? Cute. CUTE! Hard pressed/colored/textured cardboard similar to Lelo but the inside is padded and has a few elastic bands to hold the item in place. I can’t wait to try other Nobessence toys.
Color of the Month Rope from TwistedMonk.com
Twisted Monk‘s much-hyped “color of the month” always run out quickly. Whether that’s because it’s a tiny batch or people flock to it, I don’t know. I used to think the COTM was actually monthly but since the annual Midori rope came out in January and there hasn’t been anything new since (or for a few months prior) I’m not sure how helpful my review is going to be. I can tell you without a doubt that this rope is different from his run-of-the-mill colored hemp rope. The description calls it a “premium 4-strand Bavarian Blonde hemp”, which is normally listed under the Exotics section. I bought the rope because I really liked the color, and having seen his regular colored hemp rope back in November, I had high expectations. It was also for a good cause, benefitting Midori’s charity of choice, LifeCycle. While I realize that the site disclaimer says that one should expect some variation from what’s shown…..I didn’t expect to be disappointed. And I was. Really disappointed. The color was dull and drab, and the application of said color reminded me of makeup – surface only. With his normal rope, the color saturates maybe 3/4 or more of the rope and it’s tightly wound so you rarely see the non-colored portion. I had asked Monk on Twitter if the color saturation that I was seeing was normal and he said it was. This COTM rope though had light patches, un-twisted at every bend, and showed a whole lot of undyed rope. Beware his shipping prices, too. You don’t find out the shipping cost until the very last page of the ordering process – he uses only USPS Priority Mail Flat Rate and charges $13 for it. Even though I only ordered 15 feet of rope and it came in a very small box I paid $13, the same as anybody would even if they ordered 5 large kits. So if you plan to drop a few hundred and order enough rope to suspend 3 models – you’re getting a really great deal! If you’re like me and only are buying a little bit of rope, you’re going to feel cheated on the shipping cost. If there were more standard colors available, I would buy his regular rope again someday (but only going in with someone else on the order to save on shipping) but never the COTM rope. Perhaps this Bavarian Blonde hemp isn’t good for dying….perhaps the dye wasn’t good…I don’t know. I know that I’ve seen his standard rope and had been impressed.
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