Either I’m crazy, or …… nah let’s just stick with crazy.
For the first time in months (many months?) I have an interest in someone other than He Who Shall Not Be Named Anymore Or As Little As Possible (and no I don’t mean Voldemort) that has lasted beyond a couple short online conversations. Even a few guys from last year resurfaced, guys I really enjoyed…..and I can’t get back into my enjoyment of them for some reason. Perhaps it was timing, perhaps a month ago I was not yet ready. I don’t fuckin know.
Why am I crazy, you ask?
Because he lives about 3,000 miles away.
And has a harem of women. Fucking a handful in real life, flirting online with who knows how many. I’m just one of many.
I’ll never have his full attention and quite likely will never meet him in person.
So am I crazy? Or did I allow myself this because there’s a safety of it never going anywhere? Or do I just like a challenge too goddamn much? Because he’s definitely a challenge. And you know I like my challenges….tell me “no you can’t have that” and I’ll want it more and try harder to get it.
Yup I’m crazy. And he’s dangerous. And I’m looking for trouble.