Jan 252009

There is a downside to dating this girl. Oh yes, it’s not all perfection and light filled with endless hot sex! My partner gets teased a lot, sexually speaking of course. He reads this blog, and he takes half of the pictures. During the few weeks he was sick with a pretty bad chest cold, sex or just about anything that would raise his heart-rate too high was out of the question. Those photos for the oral fixation posts? Killed him. My devouring of the large bag of lollipops? He begged for mercy. Needless to say, he was um well….I’m sure you know.

The other night he finally declared he was well enough and I felt obligated to pull out all the stops.

I pulled him into a joint shower with me – what better way to get things heated up right quick than 2 wet soapy bodies in the very close quarters of an old-school tub/shower? I will admit to running my very sudsy shower poof over my breasts a little more than necessary.

(I like breasts as much as any heterosexual man, but I don’t get what it is about sudsy tits that makes men into drooling hornballs.)

In the bedroom I intended to work him up to an amazing orgasm. I put the leather mattress corners on the bed,  my leather wrist cuffs on him, and clipped him to the bed. If I’m going to be the best cocktease I can be,  his hands can’t have the opportunity to help things along. As the flat of my tongue ran firmly up the length of his cock, he gasped. When I stopped and held my tongue there at the edge just about to go over the top, with open lips poised to engulf him, he moaned. Seconds ticked by and still I did not move my mouth; unthinking he went to move his hands to my head but quickly remembered the restraints.

Rest assured I soon gave him what he wanted. I added in the Hitachi for a few minutes before I moved it under me. As I laid on my stomach sucking his cock, my pussy was grinding against the head of the Hitachi. He could hear the sound of the vibrator, he could see my ass moving as I fucked the vibrator and he could feel my moans around his cock as the vibrator drove me crazy. Which in turn drove him crazy. Soon, I found that the mattress corner restraints were failing as I felt his hand on my head. I gave in and removed the restraints. An enthusiastic blowjob became something more as his hands in my hair and at the back of my head took on a life of their own, controlling the speed of my mouth suctioning his cock and the depth to which I sucked it into my mouth.

Soon, I climbed on top and sank down onto his cock, an act made easy by my soaking wet cunt. I brought the Hitachi to rest snugly against my clit and the base of his cock and I slowly rocked my hips back and forth, in circles, up an down. Within a minute I shuddered screamed and collapsed in a huge orgasm. The second I clicked off the Hitachi and threw it to the floor, he grabbed me by the waist, pulled me close to his chest and started to roll us with his cock still inside of me. It’s a move he does often, not wanting to break contact while we change positions so that he can fuck me hard.

I need to interject here and explain something. We have a unique bed situation. We couldn’t afford a king or queen sized bed, so we put to use the 2 matching twin bedframe sets he inherited. We used our own twin mattresses, and have the beds pushed together side by side. It’s actually worked out well, no chance of hogging the covers! He is accustomed to using something called a feather bed topper on his mattress, it’s underneath the fitted sheet. Every so often he has to re-center it, for some reason it likes to slide around a bit under there.

Back to our story.

And there is a point to this story. Sometimes readers assume that sexbloggers, with their trunks of toys, have sex lives that are better than most everyone else. Sure, my toys have led to better masturbation, have helped me further explore my sexuality, and have indeed made the sex I have better. But it’s not a porno. We’re not perfect sex goddesses.

He rolled us from my bed to his to continue fucking me. Pretty much as soon as my back is on his bed, I feel the discarded restraints under my back. His powerful roll combined with a slippery comforter and the featherbed topper hanging off the bed a bit resulted in…..the both of us sliding right off the bed to the floor. This wasn’t just a simple slide-off-the-bed, haha, lets-continue-fucking. Oh no.

You see, the dresser on his side is a mere 2 feet away from his bed. As we landed quite awkwardly, still me on bottom him on top, my kneecap (my bad knee) had a nice hard greeting with the dresser. I was bent funny. He says “Are you ok?” amidst the sound of glass bottles of cologne tumbling over on the dresser. Loudly.

“Owwwww no……getoffme!”

We unwedged ourselves from the spot and got back into bed to nurse our wounds. It wasn’t anybody’s fault, but I felt bad he didn’t get relief for his um discomfort. He felt bad for me crashing and hurting my knee. After a few minutes of laying there, I started to giggle. I couldn’t help it. It was pretty comical. I usually wonder if our neighbors can hear us fucking; boy that night I really wondered if they heard the fall and what they thought.

A day in the life of real sex.

  • Bad Bad Girl

    Great story!!! Real sex is like that- sometimes just a disaster!!

    ~ It was great up till the end! haha

  • lalana

    OMG… I could actually see it happening. It’s nice to know that everyone has sex disasters!! Hope your knee is doing ok :)

    ~ Yeah, the knee is fine now thanks :)

  • Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

    Hah! I love it. Not often are we able to read posts about a sexual experience going badly, but it’s always wonderful when we do! I especially love how well you build it up, the tangents in between to get us ready for the disasterous ending, and the last line. Ah. So true.

    ~ Not all rainbows and puppies all the time! Sometimes we break things unintentionally, lol

  • Ah yes, it is good to remind people that life is not like a porn film, sometimes we do things like fall off the bed!

    ~ Hey now, I did not fall….I slid. After being rolled. Ok fine, I fell off the bed.

  • Mary

    Oh that is just too funny!
    It certainly started out as porn worthy…

    ~ Best laid plans and all that…

  • Maybe you should try the “bed net” where kids can’t fall off the beds. ;)

    ~ Shush up you. :P

  • poor guy. I hope you made it up to him later…

    ~ Rest assured I did. But I instituted a strict “no rolling” policy.

  • Rofl I love it! It’s refreshing to see a realness … I remember hitting my head on a set of drawers after rolling off the bed, kills the moment but bloody funny afterwards :D

    x Thank you for the giggle x

  • 13messages

    Well, it did make for an excellent blog post at least. :)

    Have a great night. And better luck next time.

  • Emmy

    Great story!
    Glad you are okay! Sex injuries are the hardest to explain:)

  • Um, so….was he able to finish? Sorry, one track mind. LOL

    (((you guys)))

  • Tracer Bullet

    “I like breasts as much as any heterosexual man, but I don’t get what it is about sudsy tits that makes men into drooling hornballs.”

    Tits are great on their own, but then you add a new way to play with them? It’s like adding sprinkles to doughnuts.

    ~ oooohhhhh ok I get it now :P

  • Riff Dog

    Great story! Yes, it’s funny how real life is so rarely one perfect position smoothly transitioning to the next, all culminating in simultaneous orgasms. If only.

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