Dec 312009

This has only happened once before, and at least then it was lunchtime.

By “this” I mean that I picked up a sex toy shipment from a carrier before work. Previously it was at lunchtime because I didn’t want to trek out to UPS after work. Today, it was in the morning before work. I actually didn’t go there to get the sex toy; I went there to bitch at the postmaster at my local post office because my douchebag mail carrier didn’t leave a slip saying that I have a package to pick up at the post office – he didn’t leave the slip because he was too fuckin lazy to see if I might be home. And I was! Little worm tried to lie to the lady at the counter this morning when they were searching for my package (that actually arrived Tuesday); he said he left me a slip. Liar liar pants on fiiiiiire! I was upset because it was my makeup bag. I left it at my moms over the weekend (I can’t seem to leave without forgetting something, it’s inevitable) and it contained all my main makeup powders – foundation, concealer, eyeshadows and liners, etc etc. I’ve looked like crap all week because I’ve had to use odd scraps of sample shades mixed together. And if anything had happened to that box, I’d be in deep shit because to replace all the makeup would have cost over $100 and I didn’t think to tell my mom to insure it.


So I got there before my mail carrier left for the day, and they handed me the box that was supposed to be delivered today.


What was in it?

Muahahahaha only the coolest, newest sex toy! So cool that I had to rip into the box the moment I was in my car. And unwrap it while waiting in snowy morning traffic.


Pretty packaging for the G-Ki! Yup I got a Je Joue G-Ki to review, and that review will be coming out very soon.

It’s a rechargeable that arrived uncharged, as most do, but did I wait till I got home?

Pffft fuck no!

jejoue2 jejoue3

And then after lunch when most people were already gone, I decided to check out the vibrations on this baby. *note to self: be careful and make sure you know how to turn shit off and on!! I got it turned on and then couldn’t quickly turn it off at first.Anyways, just a few quick cell-phone pics to show the size. It’s a little smaller than I anticipated.

jejoue4 jejoue6 jejoue5

Since we got a 3-hour reprieve from work, I decided to run errands. Well, first, I had to try out the G-Ki. But you knew that, right? ;)

Dec 292009

Alas, my holidays are tinged with a cold. Oddly, the last 2 New Years Eve I’ve been sick or coming down with it that night. Actually, not just the last two in a row, but others before it too. This time it hit the week prior, and my chest cold sunk its hooks in two days before Christmas. It’s mostly a chest cold with some head cold symptoms sneaking their way in.

What does this have to do with Kegel exercises?

I’m coughing a lot.

Today, especially, I’m sneezing a lot.

It happens more often to me when I sneeze than cough, thats when it is the most obvious. Yup, a lil squirt, a lil leak. The pee-sneeze. Or sneeze-pee. It’s something that’s apparently more common in pregnant women or women who’ve given birth before. I suspect that mine is perhaps weight related? Either way, I need to get back to using my Lelo Luna Beads.

Articles about this will tell you do to 15 minutes every day of Kegel exercises. I like the Luna Beads because you don’t have to *do* anything. Just having them inside of your vagina does enough. It’s the weights in the beads that move, and as they roll and gently tap your PC muscles, they exercise those muscles. There are more vigorous Kegel exercisor tools, called “barbells” which are weight things that could resemble a plain non-sexually shaped dildo. With this you actively use them, you insert them a little and draw them inside your cunt by squeezing the PC muscles which pulls the barbell in. I’ve not tried any of these, but that mainly because I Know Myself. I’m lazy. I’m forgetful. I’d much rather use the Luna Beads for a few hours a day. I like the Luna Beads better than the Smartballs because with the Luna Beads you can change up the weights. One bead, two beads, two sets of weighted balls gives you 5 configurations. Do the different weights make a difference? I thought so. I went too quickly to the heavier beads because they didn’t feel that different – the next day I was a little sore. Went back to the lighter weight ones and built up to the heavier ones (the blue).

From what I have read online, the type of incontinence that comes as a lil drib when you cough sneeze or laugh is usually treatable and reversible by doing Kegel exercises.

 Posted by at 10:15 pm
Dec 272009

If you’re on Twitter, I’m sure you’ve seen a bunch of your comrades doing the Formspring thing, and likely you are too. A couple people prodded me to do one, but rebel that I am, I haven’t linked it up with Twitter and I’ll be answering the questions here on my blog. This has led to very few questions, lol.

The first one is from Nadia (Diary of a Kinky Librarian and @NadiaWest):

Do you think that being a sex blogger has changed you in any way? How so?

Yes, it really has. There’s the obvious in how it has changed my life and lifestyle, but it also has changed *me*. I am more educated on sex-related topics. I am more confident. I am more open in my discussions with my husband and prospective partners regarding sex. I have become more tolerant and accepting of kinks/fetishes that aren’t my thing; some I have even learned to like. Being a sex blogger also brought out my submissive nature in a large degree, which you know if you’ve been reading me for the last year. I don’t know how that particular change will be affecting me from here on out but it is a change nonetheless. All in all it has brought me experiences, friendships & relationships and a frame of mind that I wouldn’t change for anything.

The second one is from Profligacy (Brit’s Master and @Big_Nutz):

What is your wildest unfulfilled fantasy?

There’s many unfulfilled fantasies. Second place spot goes to the D/s sex that I never got from youknowwho. But if you’re asking for the most out-there fantasy? It’s probably nothing shocking to many readers, and of course it’s a little dangerous. Am I going to tell you right now? *grins*

No. I’ll be dedicating another post to that.

An anonymous questioner asked:

How did you come to learn what works best for your body in terms of sex toys or masturbation style?

Practice. Practice! And finally buying the right sex toys. You all know that my love affair with toys is only about 5 years long; I had had a couple toys prior to that but I really never used them. They weren’t the right thing for me, but I didn’t see a reason to seek out anything else. I had a partner, a sex life I was happy enough with, and that was that. But the day I finally felt an unadulterated strong vibration on my clit? That was the day it all changed. I began buying more vibrators. I wasn’t buying from the right online sites though, because the reviews (if any) were of no help. I wasted a lot of money, frankly. Unless you’re easy to orgasm, you shouldn’t just use the eenie-meenie-miney-moe method of choosing a sex toy. So through reading the reviews of other bloggers and trying out toys myself via reviewing, I’ve learned what my body likes and needs. I’ve learned how to better read reviews from others, because the opinions put forth in a review are going to vary.

Practice. Experiment. Educate.

Want to know anything else? Ask me, either anonymously or not.

Dec 242009

holiday pussy

I hope everyone reading this has a great holiday! I’m off to visit family whilst recovering from a doozy of a chest cold that decided to hit me on Wednesday.

 Posted by at 9:34 pm
Dec 232009

A post by AAG earlier in the week reminded me of my first blowjob – and man was it awkward. And actually – quite regrettable. I must confess though that I’m not sure which year of high school this occurred, junior or senior year. I know that his name was John and he lived in another school district; we caught each others eye in the Small Town Friday Night Activity of Going To The Mall. LAME! I know. But I thought he was hot. We had something resembling a lame date and then a month or so later I saw him again for my Christmas formal.

He was allowed to drive me to and from the dance, I think. But oddly we didn’t get frisky until he brought me home. He dropped me off and politely made small talk with my father and then I walked him to his car. I originally thought that my father went to bed at that point. Oh silly, silly me. John’s idea of “saying goodnight” was to lure me into his backseat for a few kisses. Or so he said. Have I mentioned how inexperienced I was yet at this age?  Ha! Pretty soon, he whipped out his cock and I hadn’t a damn clue what to do with it other than put my hand on it. Very quickly, his hand on the back of my head increased the pressure of pushing me down to his lap until he had to outright tell me what he wanted because I just wasn’t getting the hint. I do recall telling him that I’d never done that before and wasn’t sure how…..I don’t remember what he said but I felt that I shouldn’t say no, I wanted him to like me.

I couldn’t tell you anymore what I did or didn’t do. I’m pretty sure my teeth caught him once. And I do know that it didn’t last very long, certainly he didn’t come. I was scared enough of Penis; ejaculation would have made me run, I bet.

The worst part? You guessed it by now, my dad wasn’t in bed. He never said anything to me when I came back to the house, but I know he knew I was in that backseat with that boy. Oh, the shame. The shame!!

My regret stems from two facts: This boy didn’t deserve a blowjob from me, because he was a douchebag and I didn’t realize it until afterwards. He faked being grounded to get out of ever seeing me again. And of course that my father had an inkling of me being unladylike in the backseat of the car in my driveway.

I don’t think I sucked another cock until my First Real Boyfriend. Somehow with him I went from being afraid of Penis, Sex and Naked Men to becoming a slutty slut-ho in a week’s time. I fucked him inside a week of dating, and we couldn’t keep our dirty little hands off each other. But that’s a story for another time.


Hey I have another post up at EdenCafe, it’d be great to see some feedback on it :)

Dec 222009

Either I’m crazy, or …… nah let’s just stick with crazy.

For the first time in months (many months?) I have an interest in someone other than He Who Shall Not Be Named Anymore Or As Little As Possible (and no I don’t mean Voldemort) that has lasted beyond a couple short online conversations. Even a few guys from last year resurfaced, guys I really enjoyed…..and I can’t get back into my enjoyment of them for some reason. Perhaps it was timing, perhaps a month ago I was not yet ready. I don’t fuckin know.

Why am I crazy, you ask?

Because he lives about 3,000 miles away.

And has a harem of women. Fucking a handful in real life, flirting online with who knows how many. I’m just one of many.

I’ll never have his full attention and quite likely will never meet him in person.

So am I crazy? Or did I allow myself this because there’s a safety of it never going anywhere? Or do I just like a challenge too goddamn much? Because he’s definitely a challenge. And you know I like my challenges….tell me “no you can’t have that” and I’ll want it more and try harder to get it.

Yup I’m crazy. And he’s dangerous. And I’m looking for trouble.