Dec 222008

I can only imagine the flurry of genuflecting, Hail Mary’s and whatnot goin on whenever a Catholic gets a load of the products from Divine Interventions.

*shakes head*

I just don’t know what to think. Except that I’m laughing. It’s brilliant. Fucked up, but brilliant for the most part.

However, as non-religious as I am…..I still think it’s wrong to shove the Baby Jesus up your ass. 67 kinds of wrong, in fact.



Now this one isn’t too awful. And you gotta admit that the colors, marbling etc is really pretty. Behold, “God’s Immaculate Rod


From the site:

Find the true meaning of comfort…
Find out what it means to be truly “touched” by God…
Find out what Mary felt, the night that she conceived…
Sitting in the lap of the Holy Ghost on God’s Immaculate Rod

There’s the Virgin Mary.


“2nd coming” heh….hehhehe….

Jackhammer Jesus! It could almost be an Easter decoration….


From the site:

Jesus was a carpenter
now he’s the powertool

He’s the baddest and the best
In all of Nazareth

The Jackhammer Jesus has just one safety rule:

feet first, feet first
not the head, ya fool

The Devil might be one I could consider owning. Ya know, being as how I am well acquainted with the Devil and all.


“Kegelize the Prince of Darkness into submission”  LOL

Appropriately, Buddha is the fattest of them all, at a whopping 2 1/4″ inches wide. If I could get over the fact that it has a face, I’d consider it…..since it’s difficult to find silicone dildos of this width.


“OM…. OM….. OM…IGOD!”

The Grim Reaper, “Le Petit Mort ain’t so petite anymore”


Well, at 7 3/4″ x 1 3/4″ he is certainly formidable.

From the site:

Try out our addictive little friend whom we call
“the little death”
(but better known to his friends as a large, black uncut cock)

In the spirit of DIY, the model comes with its own hatchet
But truth be told he be happy in da hood

Can you IMAGINE the confessional scene when a young Catholic lady does the whole “Forgive me Father for I have sinned……I shoved the Baby Jesus up my ass and did unspeakable things with the Devil”

To their credit these guys are very well made, done by hand and all silicone which is great. The marble coloring options really are beautiful. The names for some of the plain colors are awesome. “Asphyxiation Blue”, “Rag Red”, “Snow White”, and even a glow in the dark.

I suppose one bonus for those livin with the folks, you could claim that a few of them are just… statues, or somethin…Or make a Dildo Creche and keep it up year round.

thanks to Jesz for including the link in her recent comment about my glass dildo review, I’ve somehow never run into this site before!!

  • dr strangelove

    Jackhammer Jesus is a definite winner.

  • Fin

    wow, just….creepy

  • I do think it’s brilliantly fucked up! Can you tell me what the “67 wrong ways” could be? LOL

  • hubman

    Wow, those are some seriously cool/deranged sex toys!

    And I love the descriptions from the makers of the toys.

  • wow. hard to shock me, but that did it with ease.

  • Jesz

    No problem Lilly, I’m a long time reader, I just don’t often comment, I don’t usually have free hands to comment with.
    I’ve lusted for jackhammer Jesus for a long time, though not particularly for play, but for display! I do have a touch of a liking for anal though, and baby Jesus seemed like he might be fun to play with during school lol.

  • Eliot

    New reader, first time commenting.

    I love those toys and I’m definitely linking to the website from my blog.

    I must have the entire collection. I’d probably even use them. Ha!

  • I like the red and white one, but can’t see myself getting porked by any of the other religious objects. *Even though I am not religious, as in a bible thumper.

    Happy Holidays! ((hugs))