Nov 292008
Well folks I am not going to be getting the promotion, I will not be moving to the other office. Due to the current hiring freeze and the merging of all similar offices in 6 months, HR put the kibotz on that higher position being filled since it was vacated by my now-supervisor. So no extra money. No change in scenery.
I worry about the merger because I can’t say for sure that I’ll get to keep my internet access privileges. I’ll have to find another route, something I can afford, when the time comes. I have quite a few “friendships” that are online only, and only during the workday. Some are casual and a select few are very meaningful to me. If I weren’t able to chat during the workday I think I would lose those people. And for SURE I would be bored to death. I’ve grown terribly accustomed to this “way of life” in the past 6 months.
I am to the point where, no matter what, when I find out I’ll be in that downstairs office all alone for awhile I make it a point to take advantage of the fact. So determined that despite my 3 regular guys being AWOL (One left work early for T-day preparations, S has been in hiding lately and I’m not sure he’s coming back out, and the new guy who’s delighting in bringing out my Toppy side apparently had an impromptu office meeting), I pulled out my bullet anyways and thanks to a few of my Twitter guys, I got off quite nicely. I also took things a little farther than before. The bombardment of arousal from numerous angles left me with a need for penetration. I looked around, I thought….my eyes alighted on the half-empty Coke Zero bottle. 30 seconds later I decided to lock the glass door as it was the day before Thanksgiving, everyone was leaving early and I had plausible deniability if anyone tried to get in (damn door, I can never figure out that weird lock!). After a few brief moments of dropped pants and Coke Bottle attempts, I realized that someone could glance in and see my bare ass. So I moved in to my supervisor’s office…heh heh. Her lights off but the office lights meant that I was still barely visible should anyone look in her huge windows. The moment I inserted (some, couldn’t handle most of it) the bottle, and applied the bullet again to my clit, my orgasm began. I think this means that I need a slightly bigger case for my bag so that I can bring my wooden dildo with me along with the bullet.
Shame to waste nearly half a bottle of coke, but I wasn’t in the mood for a creamy Coke ;) The bottle was a bit of a mess, especially under that ridge for the cap.
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How To Make Lilly Blush:  A little like when S first floored me when he pointedly said in the comments of one of his posts that I was the cause of his recent highly-aroused state and subsequent amazing release, someone else caught me quite off-guard today by including me (me?) in his “hit it” list of sexy blogger ladies. I am the one of the four that he has met in person (at the party) and still I’m on that list.
Sometimes flattery will get you far ;)
If I were to make a list of blogger men on my own similar list…..well, I couldn’t narrow it down to just four, lol, but I think he might find he has a spot on my list, as well.
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You all rock, you know that? I got amazing support and “you tell him sister!” comments on my post about the Craigslist douchebag. It took him a few days, presumably took that long to write this all out and think it up, but he responded. I knew he would. Again, I present this to you in all its unedited glory:
well im glad u didnt respond to me cause i can see ur a very kind woman too..and yes i am a very nice man i just know how to find out who the nice women are and who is the jerks on here too so yes i am learning how this thing works on here thank you very much..and maybe some people have responded to u ok thats fine big it just seemed to me like you were being picky and im only sayin that cause you said in ur ad about looking for good lookin guys well i can see that but if u want that you should be able to give them somethin nice too not trying to be mean and didnt mean any offense and i am sorry..i was just stating a point..maybe i took ur ad the wrong way then
He can have his last words, I really cannot bear to drag out this conversation, risk hearing more drivel from him again. Nor do I give a shit. He doesn’t register on my radar anymore. But it does jade me against Pennsylvania men, in general. He’s not uncommon here I’m afraid.

Also, my CL ad was flagged and deleted, oddly enough, the day I posted about this guy. I doubt the timing is related. But still…..

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I’ve got more toy reviews for the future than I know what to do with….but I have to say, I feel bad for the other dildos. Really. Unless it’s a suction-cup dildo or an oversized one, it’s not going to have a place in my bag. I have found my Holy Grail and there is no besting it. Just not gonna happen. So from now on I’m not going to review any more dildos that are not suction-cup or oversized. I received a very pretty Glass one to review and I feel bad that I can’t really love it, because Mr. Pure has stolen my heart. He’s ruined me for all others.

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I have become afraid of speaking too soon regarding men, but I really do have to just mention this – there is someone new who is really dragging out the “toppy” side of me and I’m liking it more and more. He inspired this post, and if things go well, you’ll be reading more about the situation.
Also, to any of the women who read my blog who have experience topping…please email me. I need to pick a few brains about a couple of topics.
Nov 292008


I haven’t purchased a “toy storage” item in a long time….Couple years ago was my first and only purchase of one…Back when we didn’t know much about sextoys (read: next to nothing) and didn’t have many. It was smaller than I expected, but served it’s purpose until I soon outgrew it with my restraints.

So one of the things I was excited about with is their toy storage section. They currently carry, amongst other brands, stuff from Devine and For Your Nymphomation. When I chose this case to review, I did so based purely on the size and what was available in their inventory at the time. I wanted something that could fit the Hitachi. It locks, too, which is always a plus. Since there is only one view of this case available on the site, or really any site for that matter that carries it, I’ve taken some lovely photos for you.

Description from the site:

Secure larger than life toys, titillating DVDs and provocative lingerie with confidence in DevineToys spacious locking case. Created of trendy faux crocodile skin, accented with internal loops for oils, batteries and condoms, and boasting a water resistant lining and supported base. So fabulous it doubles as a chic purse or proactive overnight bag. 14.5 x 5.5 x 5.5


  • It’s roomy. I put in there the toys I might use the most, should I have an excursion outside my bedroom. I have the Hitachi AND the Miracle Massager, with the Attachment. Njoy Pure Wand, Gigi, a bullet vibe, the Feeldoe, the large blue VinylVengence dildo, a travel pack of toywipes, a sample pack or two of lube, my suede flogger and my leather slapper. There was still room, so I got out my restraints and packed in there my wrist and ankle cuffs which were able to lay out flat, the collar, metal connectors and a small blindfold and my 16-ft length of rope. Fucking thing is HEAVY, but it all fit in there without strain to the zipper.


  • It does look cool. Shinyish faux croc leather. No one would guess immediately that it’s full of sextoys.


  • Ok sure it all fit in there – but it’s akin to just throwing it all in a tote. There’s no separation. It claims there’s a separation thingiemabobber in the middle, but it’s only attached at the sides…separation? ehhh, not so much.


  • It says there are loops for “lube, condoms, batteries”….there’s 2 elastic loops, but they really wouldn’t hold squat.
  • The lock leaves something to be desired. It took me a minute or two to figure out how to put the zipper pulls together to lock it – and it’s a very cheap lock with a bad “skeleton” key. One of mine keeps getting jammed in there and I eventually gave up on getting it out. (Also, it was wrapped up in tissue paper, and I had to HUNT for it, almost didn’t find it)


  • It doesn’t hold it’s shape as well as I personally would like. When it arrived via UPS, I almost didn’t think it was in the package because it was flat, in a bubble mailer. It says there’s a “supported base”, but it’s really just a covered sturdy piece of …. something, that sets in the bottom and isn’t even secured.

Conclusion: For the price, it holds a heck of a lot. And if you’re handy like that and have pouches/bags for your toys so they’re all separate and safe, and don’t care about having to remove 6 to get to ones at the bottom – it’s great. If you want more organization and better layout/accessibility…..upgrade to the FYN XL Toybox (update 2014: sorry….FYN went out of business!).


Nov 282008

Every few months I get bored and post a CL ad. And just to prove that I’m for real (although most don’t believe me) I always include a photo. A real one! Of me! I make no bones that I’m BBW, and I am certain to make that loud and clear. I don’t want any surprises should I manage to find someone decent. So in my post I included the NYC HNT photo, but the full version with my face in it. They see me halfnekkid, nothing to hide, and my face.

Now, maybe I’m not universally attractive – I fully concede that many men are not attracted to larger women and you know what? That’s their right. I could make a stink about how that’s shallow, I’m a catch, blahblahblah. Fuck that. You are attracted to a person’s appearance first, in most cases (exceptions in the online world, yes I know, I’ve had it happen but that’s not what I’m talking about), and I would be lying if I said that I was giving a full fair shot to every single man who replied to my ad and that looks didn’t matter one iota. Because they do. Whether you admit it outloud or not, they do. Sure you can grow attraction over time. But that is most decidedly -not- what I’m after here, posting in the “casual encounters” section. I’m not looking for a nice guy, honey, I want fire and heat and a chemical reaction.

Apparently….and here’s the funny bit…you’re not allowed to be “picky” to your standards (hey, you don’t KNOW what my standards are, so don’t assume I want everyone to be Brad Pitt) if you’re not universally attractive. I received the most unfavorable replies to this ad (3) compared to all others I’ve placed. In the past I’ve stated my age range. That I would like them to be reasonably attractive, and fit (see? I’m shallow too. I am generally not attracted to overweight men with large guts, and let’s face it….it ain’t easy for two fat people to fuck). BUT – actually say I’m “picky”? Now…you tell me…did I say that I was picky about looks?

I’m looking for a local guy …..blahblah….reasonably fit and good looking……blahblahblah…I’m picky, so please be witty and intelligent in your email. At least try? The good things in life don’t come easy, ya know ;)

And so here comes this guy. How nice of him, he attached a photo but….*sigh* call me a snob, my intelli-squick radar goes off at textspeak in anyplace other than necessary (like texting while driving, or one-handed, or trying to fit your full thought into Twitter’s 140 character limit). But the kicker was the photo. He wasn’t necessarily ugly, but he didn’t appear to have all this teeth. Also…..he’s posing at Wal-mart. In his Wal-mart employee outfit. Dude….I fucking hate Wal-mart. I hate the shoppers and I hate the employees because without fail Wal-mart manages to hire from the dregs of the employment barrell. Can’t get a job anywhere else? Not even McD’s?? Go to Wal-Mart!! Seriously I’m fucking tempted, so tempted, to post the photo he sent me, but with part of his face blacked out. Tempted….

Please make note that I have copied his exact text and changed nothing.

hi there 32 yr old male in the XXX area too..i am interested in ur ad hope to hear from you soon..nice pic too

2 days later….

hi there well i responded to ur ad with a pic and havent heard a response from you so i hope u give me a chance im a heck of a guy..
2 days later….(today, Thanksgiving)
well i sent like a few messages to ya and no…if i can give advice ur not a bad lookin woman but u look overweight so i wouldnt be too just might miss out
Alright. I’ve had just about ENOUGH. Should I forward to him every response I got, every single one, praising my photo? No. But I’m tempted. And I’ve had an irritating day with family and the lovely skilled (/sarcasm) drivers of PA.
Perhaps you’re not wellversed in how this shit works, but when (real) women put up ads on CL, they are not able or willing to respond to -each- and -every- response to just say they’re not interested. For then, we give out our email address to guys we just turned down, and you men seem to take that awfully hard.
Really now, you’re a “heck of a guy”?? Yes, clearly I can see that. You lowered your standards -just- for me by claiming to be interested at first but now you say i’m merely only “not bad lookin(g)” but simply because I’m not thin I have no right to be at all picky and should just whore myself out to every unintelligent, unworthy “gentlemen” who deign to grace me with a favorable reply to my post.
Kiss my big fat ass, because I’ve had, no foolin!, just under 200 responses to my ad and I have indeed responded to some. It is my goddamn right to be picky. I am not a  400 pound hag with bad skin and no teeth.

Miss out? Yes, please, I’d like to miss out.

Update: As of 7pm, my ad was “flagged and removed” on Craigslist. People do this because they think it’s their duty to have the spam posts removed. However, I go to great lengths to ensure I don’t resemble the spammers. So what is left? Pissed off men. Pissed off that I’m fat. That I’m picky. That I didn’t reply to them or that I told them off.

Nov 252008

TMI Tuesday #162

1. What is your favorite Thanksgiving food?     Man…I like so much. I used to be all about the dark meat, but we have that every other week now (turkey thigh is a great cheap and easy dinner). I’ve grown and now really like white meat with cranberry sauce on it. Also I would say my gram’s noodles. “Kluski” noodles which are like homemade (back in the day she used to make em herself), with browned butter poured over. HEAVEN.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?    Just one? Hmm toss-up between Barry Manilow or Neil Diamond.

3. You seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?   There’s a refurbed GPS I would get, I think. But knowing me, I’d just fritter it away.

4. What is your favorite curse word?  Duh….”fuck”

5. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?  “Excellent!!”  The day before my father died. I’d not work…spend it with him, just in case I can’t prevent his death the following day. Had I been home, and not working, things might have gone very differently.

Bonus (as in optional):You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?  Same as last time I talked about this. Invisibility.

Nov 242008

Adult product reviews from the last seven days from all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #4? Read it all here. Do you Have a review for Pleasurists #4? Submit it here before Sunday November 30th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blogs if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
Win a free Level 2 Membership to! Deadline is Friday November 28th at midnight PST; winner announced the following day (Saturday November 29th)
Enter my Contest! Win Porn from Kink.Com! Deadline December 6th.

On to the reviews…

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Nov 242008

He is naked, standing, legs shoulder-width apart. I have his wrists bound together, his arms extended above his head just in front of him, the rope tied up to a hook in the ceiling. I have his hips back slightly so that he is leaning forward just a bit. Just enough. I swing the flogger very gently towards his hard cock, so that the soft suede gently teases him. He is vulnerable but trusting. He tries to push his hips toward the flogger to feel more caresses to his cock, despite the fact that this is really an instrument of pain and could become one at any moment. The cool weight of the suede plays on him like tendrils. Fingers.

I move behind him and any gentleness is gone. With a figure-8 motion and most of my strength I work the flogger on his back and ass, leaving delicious red marks that appear in short order. He is strong. Were it not for the angry red marks on his back, I might not know I was having an effect. Were it not for his straining cock, shiny and dripping, I might think he was immune. I think I like the feel of this flogger in my hand entirely too much for his own good.

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