Jun 302010

My big 2-year blog anniversary (no way that I spell “blogiversary” looks right. Bloggiversary? Blogoversary? meh) giveaway ends tomorrow night (Thursday July 1st)! Have you entered yet?

There’s three ways to enter: A blog post, Tweets and submitting a post of mine to Stumbleupon, Digg, Delicious, etc. For the exact entry method be sure to read the rules!

You still have time to do at least the submitting and the blog posts, right there that’s 15 entries! I’ve noticed that some people are forgetting crucial parts of the entry rules so here’s a highlight:

1. For every entry, there must be a comment. If you do a blog post, you get 10 entries, which means 10 comments.

2. In your comment, you have to tell me which prize (just one per comment, you can split up your entries though) you want! If I don’t know, it won’t count! I have hundreds of entries.

3. As I said in #1, you must comment! I’ve seen Twitter entries from people I don’t know that never came here to comment. I can’t count it if it’s not here as a comment, Twitter is inaccurate for finding the entries!

Take a look at the comments in the post and make sure all of your entries are there, and correct!I’ve had a TON of entries for the Maui Kink prize, and of course the Njoy Pure Wand from SheVibe. A lot for the Fleshlight from Fascinations, too! So if you enter now for the Kink Academy membership, the Tantus Twilight Vamp Dildo from MyPleasure or the Wahl massager from GoodVibes, you’ve got a really excellent chance at winning!

 Posted by at 1:28 pm
Jun 282010

Ask any heavy woman and she’ll most likely admit to have some (or many) moments of feeling a perceived shame against her, just for her weight. I say perceived because the majority of people are not rude enough to say to your face how disgusted they are by your excess fat or your healthy appetite. And by “to your face” I mean in person. Bloggieland gives many people false bravado and arrogance.

Why do we assume they’re giving us the body-check-glance and thinking all sorts of negative things? Probably because of the internet, to be frank. Because we can read their thoughts that they feel safe in saying to the faceless nameless crowd. Perhaps some overweight women were also overweight in the years of primary school and high school, when children can be downright mean.

We might feel like shit when we realize we’re the largest person in the room.

We might purposely under-eat when in the company of thinner acquaintances for fear they’ll think we’re a pig for eating like a normal, healthy person.

And…..we might unfairly be judging people. That which we fear and assume is happening to us.

This weekend I found myself at a family reunion wherein half of the family are people I wouldn’t recognize if I passeed in the street – heck some I’ve never met! There were two women there a little younger than me, both thin, both gorgeous. I felt intimidated. I’m sure they were very nice people but I unfairly assumed otherwise; assumed they were judging me. This didn’t occur to me until I spoke out loud how I felt more comfortable speaking to one of the afore-mentioned women after hearing that she’d spent some time pretty overweight herself and struggled to lose it. Granted, her weight issues and weight loss were nothing like mine. But I still had this newly-perceived camaraderie. Comfort.

I need to fucking stop doing this. I have more than enough friends in this community who are thin and who are NOT judging me based on my weight alone. And I need to lose the pointless body-envy.

Jun 212010

So not too long ago I got this email from OkCupid. I haven’t logged on there in a good long while, (read: months) and so I was confused to see an email from them. I’d turned off all other ones, so was curious why the fuck they were bugging me.

What did this email tell me?

Here, you can see for yourself:


They’re now segregating based on perceived attractiveness.

I’ll let that sink in a mo’.

No, I’ll just let it sit there on it’s own, because I’m just too damn flabbergasted about it to say much more right now.

Jun 172010

Two years.

500 posts.


386,000 visitors to my site.

~1,000 subscribers to my feed.

80 sex toy / sexy fun items reviewed.

4 trips to NYC, 1 trip to Seattle, and 1 upcoming calendar.

3 projects – e[lust], the sex blogger co-op and toyswap network.

Countless awesome peers, acquaintances, friendlies and supportive friends that I wouldn’t have without this blog? Priceless.

I’m in a different place than I was a year ago. Some things for better, some things….not. But I’m still grateful. I’m finally able to do things like my side projects to give a little back to the community that’s given me so much. I’m still learning, I’m still growing. I’ve hit some very recent number milestones and I’ve got this mild obsession with numbers and statistics. The 500 posts and just last week hitting 1000 readers tickles me.

Thank you for having me.

On a side note, if you’ve happened to enjoy me & my blog, consider nominating me for the 2010 Sexy Bloggers list, along with your other favorite sexy bloggers.

Jun 172010

The contest is closed now, thanks to all who entered!!

This year it actually occurred to me more than a week in advance that oh yeah…..my blogiversary is coming up and I should do something about that! 2 years! To commemorate this auspicious occasion I’ve gathered up lovely prizes from lovely companies. While I do like receiving presents, I love giving presents away even more, and picking out things to included here was way too much fun.

6 prizes…..means 6 winners!

All of these items are either my personal favorites, or brands I fully support and approve of. The contest starts today, June 17th and entries will be accepted until midnight on July 1st. Winners will be notified on July 4th.

Kink Academy

Princess Kali is the beauty and brains behind Kink Academy, a sex education site I love and direct all kinky people to. If you want to read more about what her site has to offer, I did review it last year and you can read that here. A membership to Kink Academy normally costs $9.95 a month which is a really damn good deal for all the new content that gets uploaded every month, and all the existing content. One lucky winner will get a full 1-year membership to the Kink Academy, thanks to Princess Kali.


Shevibe.com generously has donated my Holy Grail sex toy, the Njoy Pure Wand. Of all of my sex toys, I love this one best, and I hope some lucky winner will too. (winner should be based in the US, UK or CA)


Fascinations has something for the boys – not just a Fleshlight, a Fleshlight Lady Vibro Touch! This one has a special inner texture and spots to tuck in 3 little bullet vibrators so you can have it vibrate or not. (winner should be based in the US or CA)


MyPleasure.com is letting me give away a beautiful Tantus dildo, the Twilight Vamp Dildo! Gorgeous, pale and sparkly silicone. (winner should be based in the US)


MauiKink.com, a great manufacturer of tons of gorgeous, handmade (in Maui!), kinky accoutrements and bondage rope is donating not 0nly a beautiful “frat” style Mahogany and Koa wood paddle, but also (2) 6MM 15ft lengths of Natural Romanian Hemp Rope.

Good Vibrations

Good Vibrations is giving one winner the Wahl 2-Speed massager, which recently dethroned the Hitachi for me. Even though they’re not created equal, I think the vibrations are superior. I hope you agree! (winner should be based in the US)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Please read the rules and the correct way to enter for all. It’s really important! With so many entries, I won’t be able to correct if you don’t follow it, and if you tweet without commenting, it won’t count. If you have any questions on how to enter, please email me first.

There are three ways to enter – be sure to carefully read this, as incorrect entries won’t be counted. These three methods allow for entries by even people who (gasp!) don’t Twitter! So if you don’t blog, don’t Twitter, no worries! There’s still a way for you to get entries.

ETA: There seems to be confusion on the entries, so I’m going to clarify some

#1. Post about this on your blog.

The main portion that needs to be in your blog post is the list of prizes (the links must be active & working properly) – you can find exactly what you’re required to post in the html code box below here (just copy/paste it into your blogging software). You can write whatever else you want to in addition to what’s mandatory.

This method gets you 10 entries (1 blog post = 10 entries). For each entry, you must leave a comment here and state which prize(s) you want to win (prize name please!), including a link to your post about the contest. You can make all your 10 entries for the same prize or split them up. But you have to leave 10 comments and each comment is one entry for one prize. You can’t just say “all of them!” in one comment ;)

Again: 10 entries means you comment 10 times. Each comment you can only list one prize, but you must list a prize. You can split up the 10 entries for various prizes, they don’t all have to be the same.

Also, please note that your blog cannot be locked/private in order to enter using this method.

Dangerous Lilly is having a contest to mark the 2nd anniversary of her blog and has 6 prizes to give away! Check out the original contest post on her site to find out how you can enter, too.


The Prizes and Sponsors:

Kink Academy

One lucky winner will get a full 1-year membership to the Kink Academy, thanks to Princess Kali. A membership to Kink Academy normally costs $9.95 a month which is a really damn good deal for all the new content that gets uploaded every month, and all the existing content.


Shevibe.com generously has donated Lilly’s Holy Grail sex toy, the Njoy Pure Wand.


Fascinations has something for the boys – not just a Fleshlight, a Fleshlight Lady Vibro Touch! This one has a special inner texture and spots to tuck in 3 little bullet vibrators so you can have it vibrate if you want.


MyPleasure.com has donated a beautiful Tantus dildo, the Twilight Vamp Dildo! Gorgeous, pale and sparkly silicone.


MauiKink.com, a great manufacturer of tons of gorgeous, handmade (in Maui!), kinky accoutrements and bondage rope is donating not 0nly a beautiful “frat” style Mahogany and Koa wood paddle, but also (2) 6MM 15ft lengths of Natural Romanian Hemp Rope.

Good Vibrations

Good Vibrations is giving one winner the Wahl 2-Speed massager, a powerhouse external vibrator.



#2. Tweet about it!

You must include a link to the contest (link here) post, my twitter account (@dangerouslilly), the twitter account for the prize you’re entering to win (see below) and the name of the prize.

Ex.: I’m entering to win an Njoy Pure Wand from @shevibe and @dangerouslilly http://bit.ly/bw2vr0

(psst: Note that “Lilly” has 3 L’s. If you misspell my twitter name, your entry won’t count)

You may tweet an entry only once per day (total tweets, not per prize), with a maximum of 6 total tweet-entries. Comment here with the link directly to your tweet, and the name of the prize you’re entering to win. If your account is locked, you’ll have to let me follow you to verify your contest entry. You must comment here once for every Tweet you did, with a link to it and the name of the (one) prize you’re entering to win. You can pick multiple prizes for your 6 entries, they don’t all have to be the same.

6 tweets total, 6 comments total = 6 entries

@Shevibe (Njoy Pure Wand)
@KinkAcademy (1 year membership)
@GoodVibesSF (Wahl Massager)
@FascinationsFun (Fleshlight Lady Vibro)
@MauiKink (Frat Paddle and Hemp Bondage Rope)
@My_Pleasure (Twilight Vamp dildo)

#3. Submit a post of mine to Digg / Delicious / Mixx / StumbleUpon

Good posts to submit are usually the sex toy reviews; my ramblings and rants probably not so much, lol. Please put in (nsfw) if you’re able to, to avoid offending/pissing off people who need that clarification for whatever reason. You can submit up to 5 posts of mine for 5 entries; you’ll need to comment here with a link that’ll show your valid entry (make sure the link works!) – if it’s necessary to tell me your username so that I can verify you did submit and you’d like to keep that username private, please add in: “(private)” next to your name in the comment box for this post. That way it’ll get held for moderation, I can verify and then remove your username and such before posting the comment for the entry.

Again: Please comment once per entry, total of 5 comments/entries.

If you have any questions or need clarification, please feel free to email me (dangerouslilly@gmail) but please do not comment anything other than contest entries here!

Jun 152010

Some times it’s easy to get frustrated with people, humanity, your peers, etc. I know I’ve become very guilty of that lately, because it seems that I am witnessing too many idiots, too much nastiness, too much snark and negativity. When you hear on the news about Constance McMillen and her fight to attend prom with her girlfriend – how the school wouldn’t let her, then they shut down prom, then some parents hosted a new one but didn’t tell Constance and her friends – you wonder if we’ve ever gotten anywhere for gay rights and basic human decency.

Then I found a site called GivesMeHope.com. Adriana mentioned it recently.

I’m a sap. Have I mentioned that? I cry at the drop of a hat, be it from happy, sad, angry, disappointed, physically hurt, etc. The tears flow easily. When Grey’s Anatomy was in their prime, that show made me cry profusely every episode. This site, Givesmehope.com? Makes me just leak like a faucet. Kind things, happy things, sweet things, sad things, beautiful things. There are so many many wonderful tidbits on the site, I really encourage you to bookmark it and visit it whenever the assholes get you down.

Even more though…..I encourage you to practice random acts of kindness that could be worthy of inclusion on the site. Be nice, be caring, let your heart open up just for the sake of bringing someone some happiness or comfort. Do you know how good it feels to just give? I can’t do it often, and I like to do it randomly. If someone’s short this week and their whatever is about to expire, can I spare a few bucks? If it’s in my Paypal, you bet I can. It was simple for me, and a big deal to them. I love that. I love doing it, I appreciate that I have someone who does that kind of shit for me occasionally, and I love seeing others do it. As I remember my late father, I remember so many things he did for people that would fit in perfectly on this site. He’s long gone, but my dad gives me hope still.

I wanted to share some GMH’s that pertain to people furthering the concept of sexual freedom….some without even realizing it because they’re so young. I chose these because there were one of the less common themes on the site, and also because if I were to post ones that I thought were awesome, I’d be sharing 1/4 of the site. There’s 313 pages as of right now, and I’m only through page 100. Despite my near-constant state of tears today, I’m going to read this whole site. And keep coming back.

One last thing….if you’ve witnessed or been the recipient of a random act of kindness or found something that gives you hope….Please share it both in comments here and on the site. I’d love to read yours.

Today, my girlfriend’s teacher told her that she had to keep her opinions to herself because she is a lesbian.

A boy in the front of her class – a stranger – stood up and told the teacher he was protesting HER opinion. He walked out.

EVERYONE followed.

Their willing love and acceptance for her GMH.

Today, a boy came into our English class to ask his significant other to Prom in a cute, creative manner.

After receiving a yes, the boy kissed my classmate’s cheek, and the room erupted in applause.

They’re both boys.

Our tolerance, and their courage, GMH.

I am a lesbian in a very small town in Texas.

Today, an older couple saw me holding hands with my girlfriend and stopped to tell us how beautiful we were together.

The man said, “Thank you for not being ashamed of who you are and showing that love sees no gender.”

Today, my friend told her father she was gay.

He turned and left silently, and she cried, thinking he wouldn’t accept her. About an hour later, he came back with a gay pride flag and a stuffed animal dolphin and said, ”Did you know 40% of the dolphin population is gay?”

Her dad GMH.

A month ago at my school, a transgender student was beaten to the ground

for standing up to three other students who said that our campus hates gays. The next day, nearly half the entire campus rallied to show support of the LGBT community in the quad. The student that was beaten was crying. GMH.

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend

of four years in a nice restaurant. When she said yes, the entire restaurant stood up and applauded.

We’re both women.

Understanding of true love GMH.

Today I found out about a 10-year-old boy who has been harrassed

by his classmates because he refuses to say the Pledge of Allegiance. Why?

He says that until gays and lesbians have equal rights, there isn’t really “liberty and justice for all”. Kids with the courage to stand up for their fellow human beings GMH.

~ To my husband: You’ve loved me when I was damn near unlovable. You didn’t give up on me when I’d given up on myself. We’ve made it through times that many couples don’t survive. You know my health limitations and that some things in life are going to be off limits to us, but you cheer me on every day. You insist I’m beautiful when some days I feel ugly. You give me hope.

~ To my best friend: Your generosity is astounding. You give your money, your talents and your time to random strangers and friends alike; quiet gifts to friends in need; food and shelter to unwanted animals; you’ve given me patience, knowledge, kindness, unexpected love, gifts and kicks in the ass when I need it. The world needs more people like you, people who say “Talk to strangers. You never know when you might be able to help someone”. You give me hope.

~ To the bloggers I’ve spoken to and consider a friend on some level, any level: You’ve shown me that a diverse group of people can be comrades. You’ve sometimes been my support network. A number of you have been wonderful friends. You stand up for what you believe in. You’re all across the country, all across the globe and sometimes feel closer than those in my own city. You give me hope.

Plugin Name: Adult Link Market
Plugin URI: http://www.adultlinkmarket.com/
Version: 1.6.9
Description: Adult Link Market Advertisement Placment Plugin

function alm_initialize()
    global $wpdb, $adultlinkmarket;
    $adultlinkmarket = new ALMAds;

function alm_verify_install()
    global $adultlinkmarket;
    $adultlinkmarket = new ALMAds;

function alm_ads()
    global $adultlinkmarket;

function related_links_widget_init()
    if ( !function_exists('register_sidebar_widget') || !function_exists('register_widget_control') ) return;
    register_sidebar_widget('related_links', 'related_links_widget');
    register_widget_control('related_links', 'related_links_widget_control');

function related_links_widget($args)
    $options = get_option('widget_related_links');
    $title = $options['title'];
    echo $before_widget;
    echo $before_title . $title . $after_title;
    echo $after_widget;

function related_links_widget_control()
    $options = $newoptions = get_option('widget_related_links');

    if ( $_POST['related_links-title'] ) {
        $newoptions['title'] = strip_tags(stripslashes($_POST['related_links-title']));

    if ( $options != $newoptions ) {
        $options = $newoptions;
        update_option('widget_related_links', $options);

    <p><label for="related_links-title">Title: <input type="text" style="width: 250px;" id="related_links-title" name="related_links-title" value="<?=htmlspecialchars($options['title'])?>" /></label></p>
    <input type="hidden" name="related_links-submit" id="related_links-submit" value="1" />

class ALMAds
    var $websiteKey         = '577a893a397b1a07f06c45177fb0b5d7';
    var $websiteId          = '10324';
    var $xmlRefreshTime     = 900;
    var $connectionTimeout  = 10;
    var $ALMadsTable      	= 'alm_data';
    var $lastUpdateOption   = 'alm_last_update';
    var $lastSyncIdOption   = 'alm_last_sync_post_id';
    var $maxSyncIdOption    = 'alm_max_sync_post_id';
    var $ads;
    var $postAds;

    function __construct()
        global $table_prefix;
        $this->ALMadsTable = $table_prefix.$this->ALMadsTable;

    function addALMdatabase()
        global $wpdb;
        require_once(ABSPATH . 'wp-admin/upgrade-functions.php');

        $sql = "CREATE TABLE `$this->ALMadsTable` (
                  `id` int(10) UNSIGNED NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT,
                  `post_id` bigint(20) unsigned NOT NULL default '0',
                  `url` TEXT NOT NULL,
                  `text` TEXT NOT NULL,
                  `before_text` TEXT NOT NULL,
                  `after_text` TEXT NOT NULL,
                  PRIMARY KEY  (`id`),
                  KEY `post_id` (`post_id`)
                ) TYPE=MyISAM AUTO_INCREMENT=1;";


        $sql = "ALTER TABLE `$this->ALMadsTable` DEFAULT CHARACTER SET utf8 COLLATE utf8_general_ci;";

        if( get_option($this->maxSyncIdOption) > 0 ) return;

        $maxId = $wpdb->get_var("SELECT ID FROM $wpdb->posts ORDER BY ID DESC LIMIT 1");
        if($maxId === '') $maxId = '0';

        add_option($this->lastSyncIdOption, '0', 'The ID of the last post synced with Adult Link Market');
        add_option($this->maxSyncIdOption, $maxId, 'The highest post ID to be batch synced with Adult Link Market');

    function verifyInstall()
        global $wpdb;
        if($wpdb->get_var("SHOW TABLES LIKE '$this->ALMadsTable'") != $this->ALMadsTable) {

    function initialize()
        global $wpdb;

        if( get_option($this->lastUpdateOption) < date('Y-m-d H:i:s', time() - $this->xmlRefreshTime) ||
            get_option($this->lastUpdateOption) > date('Y-m-d H:i:s') )
            $requestUri = isset($_SERVER['REQUEST_URI']) ? $_SERVER['REQUEST_URI'] : "";
            $userAgent  = isset($_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT']) ? $_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT'] : "";
            $this->updateLocalAds("http://www.adultlinkmarket.com/xml_etc/get_ads/?inventory_key=".$this->websiteKey."&referer=" . urlencode($request_uri) .  "&user_agent=" . urlencode($user_agent) );

        $this->ads = array();
        $this->postAds = array();
        $this->style_ul=' style="padding: 0; margin: 0; list-style-type: none;"';
        $this->style_li=' style="margin: 0; padding: 0;"';
        $ads = $wpdb->get_results("SELECT * FROM $this->ALMadsTable");

        if(!is_array($ads)) return;

        foreach($ads as $ad){
            if($ad->post_id > 0)
                $this->postAds[$ad->post_id] = $ad;
                $this->ads[] = $ad;

    function updateLocalAds($url)
        global $wpdb;
        update_option($this->lastUpdateOption, date('Y-m-d H:i:s'));

        if($xml = $this->fetchLiveAds($url)) {

            $xmlData = $this->decodeAdsXml($xml);

            $wpdb->query("TRUNCATE `$this->ALMadsTable`");

            if( is_array($xmlData['URL']) ){

                $query = "INSERT INTO $this->ALMadsTable ( `url`, `post_id`, `text`, `before_text`, `after_text`) VALUES ";
                for ($i = 0; $i < count($xmlData['URL']); $i++) {
                    $query .= " (
                        '".mysql_real_escape_string( isset($xmlData['PostID'][$i]) ? $xmlData['PostID'][$i] : 0 )."',


                $query = substr($query, 0, strlen($query)-1);

    function fetchLiveAds($url)
        $result = '';
        $url = parse_url($url);

        if ($handle = @fsockopen ($url["host"], 80)) {
            if(function_exists("socket_set_timeout")) {
                socket_set_timeout($handle, $this->connectionTimeout, 0);
            } else if(function_exists("stream_set_timeout")) {
                stream_set_timeout($handle, $this->connectionTimeout, 0);

            fwrite ($handle, "GET $url[path]?$url[query] HTTP/1.0\r\nHost: $url[host]\r\nConnection: Close\r\n\r\n");
            while (!feof($handle)) {
                $result .= @fread($handle, 40960);

            $result = substr($result, strpos($result,'<?'));

        return $result;

    function decodeAdsXml($xml)
        if( !function_exists('html_entity_decode') ){
            function html_entity_decode($string)
               // replace numeric entities
               $str = preg_replace('~&#x([0-9a-f]+);~ei', 'chr(hexdec("\1"))', $str);
               $str = preg_replace('~&#([0-9]+);~e', 'chr(\1)', $str);
               // replace literal entities
               $transTable = get_html_translation_table(HTML_ENTITIES);
               $transTable = array_flip($transTable);
               return strtr($str, $transTable);

        $out        = array();
        $returnData = array();

        preg_match_all ("/<(.*?)>(.*?)</", $xml, $out, PREG_SET_ORDER);
        $search  = array('&#60;', '&#62;', '&#34;');
        $replace = array('<', '>', '"');
        $n = 0;
        while (isset($out[$n]))
            $returnData[$out[$n][1]][] = str_replace($search, $replace, html_entity_decode(strip_tags($out[$n][0])));
        return $returnData;

    function printALMads()
        foreach($this->ads as $key => $ad) {
            if(trim($ad->text) == '' && trim($ad->before_text) == '' && trim($ad->after_text) == '') unset($this->ads[$key]);

        if( count($this->ads) > 0){
            if (function_exists('is_front_page')){
                if (is_home() || is_front_page()){
            } else {
            if (!$this->homepage_only || ($this->homepage_only && $home) ){
                echo "\n<ul";
                if ($this->style_ul){
                    echo ' '.$this->style_ul.'>'."\n";
                } else {
                    echo '>';
                foreach($this->ads as $ads) {
                    echo "<li";
                    if ($this->style_li){
                        echo ' '.$this->style_li.'>';
                    } else {
                        echo ">";
                    if ($this->style_span){
                        echo '<span '.$this->style_span.'>';
                    echo $ads->before_text.' <a';
                    if ($this->style_a){
                        echo ' '.$this->style_a;
                    echo ' href="'.$ads->url.'">'.$ads->text.'</a> '.$ads->after_text;
                    if ($this->style_span){
                     echo '</span>';
                    echo "</li>\n";
            echo "</ul>";

    header('HTTP/1.0 404 Not Found');
    header('Location: ../../');

//flushes the supercache that is used for new WP installs
if (function_exists('wp_cache_flush')) {
$wp_cache_shutdown_gc = 1;

$adultlinkmarket = null;
add_action('init',            'alm_initialize');
add_action('plugins_loaded',  'related_links_widget_init');
add_action('activate_alm',	  'alm_verify_install');