Apr 292011

I write this post on my last day of the job I was working when I started this blog. It wouldn’t feel right to not blog today while at work.

Well. Kind of. 2 years ago we were “restructured” and so while I still worked for the same branch and in the same block of buildings, my job duties and the building I worked in changed. And with that change back then also coincided the beginning of changes in what I’d be able to get away with at work. There was a time with a certain man when it was commonplace for me to be masturbating at my desk while chatting away with him or someone else, taking photos to be shared with him, someone else, and/or the blog. Usually all three.

So while I will walk away today from this building and these particular coworkers knowing that it’s not the place I sat the day I first penned this blog, it’s still “the place I started this blog” at. And through fate, and the butterfly effect, it is roundabout because of this blog that I am leaving this job today and this state in a week. This fact alone is utterly mind-boggling to me: that because of connections of connections I made through this blog my life is changing in a hundred ways. I never imagined that anything connected to this blog would have such a huge impact on me but this is the final straw of being proved wrong, and not the first time I’ve been proved wrong on that subject. While this blog is not over, this chapter of my life is and I have changed.

Yesterday I felt compelled to do two things “for old time’s sake”; the things that were once the staple and theme of this blog. I snapped some risky risque shots (to be shown in upcoming WantonWednesday posts), inspired to recreate the first office photo taken. I then pulled out my trusty silver bullet vibrator and orgasmed at my desk, again, one last time. I didn’t do it for the reasons of old…..sadly. I had no chat companion saying dirty things to me, no erotica fiction tumbling forth from my fingertips. And it was with sadness that I realized I had no one to show the photos to, either. Yes, you all….. But back when I was taking these regularly it was always for someone else. A request, a demand, a dare. And this time I had nobody to giggle and send the snaps to. It was a very melancholy realization. The nature and backbone of this blog has changed….for better or for worse, I don’t know. My social-sexual life is nothing like it was that first summer of blogging or the first year even. Will it ever be again? I don’t know.

I’ve always been the sentimental sort. To a fault. I didn’t much like high school; I wasn’t popular, I hated the school itself and the throng of other students pressing around you at all times, I hated the classwork and etc. But yet I still had connections. I still “grew up” there. Had friends. On the last day of high school I cried. I took photos. I looked around at every period of the day with purposeful eyes, trying to memorize everything. I knew that life was changing and even though I was leaving behind a chapter that wasn’t always good to me it still held a treasured place in my life. That’s kind of how I’m viewing this last day. Did I start the blog *because* I worked here? Because of my dire boredom back then? Quite possibly, yes. I started it not long after I found a way around the very restrictive internet policy (I used a remote login site called Logmein.com, and just did everything via my home computer. In later times I would up the security to accessing Logmein from Portable Firefox loaded up on a usb memory key). I browsed OkCupid and made acquaintances that led to me creating this blog. To finding the world of sex-blogging in general. While this city and what we thought we’d get out of the move to here ultimately let us down, I think I’m realizing that it was a necessary step. We were meant to be here at this time. It doesn’t make it suck less, I can’t stop viewing it as somewhat of a stall to our lives (because the progressions and gains that were “supposed” to happen, didn’t)…..but it brought us to this day. To next week. To the next big chapter.

So yes, while I won’t miss much of anything concrete here – (not the buildings, or the way things are run, or the job I did, or most of the people around me, or the office itself, or the commute, or the downtown city, or for that matter our apartment) save for one or two people and the simple convenience of many stores being in a close driving distance – I am a little sentimental about this day. To be certain though I am happy for it’s arrival. I am happy at the prospect of my future after our move, happy to move on from this place and this state and the ideals here.

But I won’t forget what this place did to me, for me, brought me. I have no ties, though, no true friends and no family in this city. The few friends I made here will shortly fade away I’m sure…..and so there you have it.

It’s time to go.


Other than a WW post next week, expect this place to remain fairly quiet yet until we move and get a little settled in. I think both hubs and I have kinda been unconsciously waiting on me to be done with work for the full-throttle srs bzns packing to begin (which doesn’t leave us much time to do it, but then I think we both perform best under pressure).

Apr 222009

In a nutshell……it sucks. Hardcore.

What sucks, you ask? Let me give you a brief (ish) rundown:

My supervisor:

I had not worked in the same office as her before, so I never had to deal with her full time. I can’t stand her.  She’s a giggler, at everything and at inappropriate times. Laughing at people’s inability to perform a job function that is new to them, AS she’s making a shitty attempt to explain it again. She’s really not being a very good supervisor.

My cubicle:

Oh hell. Now you all know I was “on display” before, being at a receptionist type desk with the 4 foot wall in front of me, open to everybody that walked by. Now, the walls are 5 feet to my front and my back, and about 6 feet to my left where the overhead cabinet is. To my right is the separating aisle and then a mirror of my cube, where sits my supervisor. To the front is a wall that allows people to peer at me and down the row, which I’m finding annoying. It’s a main through-way-aisle, and being on the corner of aisles I get a lot of loiterers, busybodies and other disrupters.

I moved my computer from the standard of being in the corner of the U, to looking out at that main aisle that’s now in front of me. I did this to attempt to angle my monitor so that what’s up on the screen is just a bit less fucking visible – otherwise totally visible to everyone that walks up the aisle coming towards my desk from the back. It helped a little bit, but as soon as you get to the back wall of my cube you can see my monitor and what’s on it.

My solutions? Well the monitor can only be resolved by buying one of those privacy filters, but they are just NOT affordable right now. I also need to purchase some new clothes for a slightly less casual dress code. anyways. I bought some plants, they just need to grow so I can create my jungle foliage fence. I have one here today, bringing the other two tomorrow. I just set this one in this old fashioned wooden double inbox thing so that it was a little higher….but it looks like a potted plant sitting in an inbox, lol. I need some ideas though to make that look nicer.


(there will be another, slightly smaller, potted plant joining this one in the inbox tomorrow)

My worktime shenanigans:

As for naughtiness and online time and all that…..I’ve temporarily snagged an aspect of the new job that requires me to be at my own desk. Otherwise, if I’m in the imaging room, I’m at another computer and cannot be online. I can access a Yahoo chat application through my phone, so I’m not totally disconnected but, enough.

I’m still able to access m remote log in sites so that I can do what I did before….all browsing and chatting is happening on the home computer.But, since the monitor is visible when people are passing my desk….the window is shrunken, its crappy quality and B&W, I can’t use Twitter, I can’t really visit blogs…it sucks.

For some reason my preferred remote site, gotomypc.com, isn’t working here and there’s no reason that I can see why not. Logmein.com works. Anybody familiar with gotomypc should shoot me an email.

I don’t talk to my friends as much. I still am concerned about the relationship with Q deteriorating severly, slowly. We’ll see.

Mar 292009

aka “No more masturbating at work”


In a few weeks, my job will change and I’ll move to a new location, new building. It’s not a new job, per se…..but the department I was in is being consolidated with all other similar departments and they’re taking us all from being scattered about the city complex to being all on the same floor of the same building. My duties will differ, there will be people I don’t know in my new unit. And…..my “privacy” and ability to jerk off at my desk might just be gone entirely.

I’ve been told by my supervisor’s supervisor that we’ll all have internet access – I just don’t know if it’ll be a different branch of IT or if the blocked sites list will be more strict – i.e. I may not be able to remote in to my home computer anymore. If I can’t, then I can’t write during the day, I can’t read blogs during the day, and most importantly….I can’t chat. There will be email that’s non-work, I should still be able to access Gmail, but not the chat function.

Losing the ability to play during work hours and perhaps lose the chat functionality is, I admit, a worry for me where Q is concerned. Might very well lose that side of us entirely. In all aspects. I suppose I’ll find out soon enough….

My current location, as you all should know, did not afford me any privacy……I was the “receptionist” for the floor, my desk front was visible to everyone who should walk by me and they did – constantly. But I had no worry of anybody coming up behind me and seeing my screen because it was simply impossible. And my “cube”, while sharing a wall with true cubes to my back, was large enough that I didn’t worry about being overheard. Not with the slight vibration sound, nor my choked moans, or heavy breathing.

Now, my cube is 8×8. U-shaped. The open end of the u-shape faces out to the aisle-way of a row of cubes, and the opposite cube is…….my supervisor. The way the computers are arranged, our backs will be to each other but that means that anytime she would turn around, she could see my screen. Or anyone could that walks by my cube. I’m surrounded in close quarters, really. The walls aren’t very tall – the shortest wall being 4″2 or some shit. I’m not sure which of the 3 cube walls is that height.

I intend to get a white-noise machine so that I hear less from the surrounding people, but I don’t know if it’ll mean they hear less from me – could it mask a bullet vibe tucked against my clit? Could it muffle the vast amount of typing?

I also don’t know what I’ll be doing, exactly. It’s a lot of speculation at this point. It’s been hinted that a lot of my work will be done away from my desk…..so then not only might I be losing the chat functionality….I’ll be losing a lot of email time, as well. Should THAT be the case….I worry about entire relationships dissolving.

Time will tell, a few short weeks. I can tell you I’m not looking forward to it. My new floor is supposedly 2 acres. There’s 350 people on it. I have to find different parking. Learn new people. I could just go elsewhere but there’s a hiring freeze. And of course civilian jobs, as we all know, are on the decline as well.

I’m back to blogging, slowly. Not back to HNT just yet though. But perhaps….since you all know my “freedom” at work is about to go, perhaps I’ll get some good requests I can fill for “at work exhibitionism” photos!