Feb 4, 2013

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We-Vibe Has Discontinued the Salsa

About 3 or 4 months ago I was looking up something on the We-Vibe website and I noticed that while some of the icon links to the Salsa/Tango still existed, you couldn’t see the Salsa on their page anymore. Just the Tango. I had my suspicions that this meant they were discontinuing my beloved Salsa. I reached out to them first on Twitter for confirmation, and didn’t get a response. After about a week, I tried Facebook, I posted my question on their page. No response. I let it go for another month or so and decided to try asking again. Yet again, both inquiries on Facebook and Twitter were just flat-out ignored. What is the point of having social media accounts if you ignore people?

Last week then I decided to contact them directly, and sent an email via the site.

Hello. I have tried numerous times to reach out to your company on social media sites like Twitter and Facebook. All 4 times I’ve been ignored. I see on your site here that you do not show photos of the Salsa anymore, you just talk about the Tango. Since the shape of the Salsa is the one I recommend slightly more (it is versatile in replacing anything that uses an RO-80mm bullet, for example), I am wondering if you have discontinued it and if so, why. The colors are great!! Many users are not feminine and appreciated the gender-neutral color scheme. 

I’m a sex toy reviewer/blogger and  I’m probably one of your loudest supporters of the Salsa & Tango. I recommend them to nearly every person who contacts me for sex toy help; I tell retailers who want to work with me to carry them, and I compare every other clit vibe (and sometimes even internal vibes) to the Salsa & Tango. They’ve quickly become my only vibrator needed and Holy Grail. Suffice to say, I’m quite disheartened that my simple questions about product discontinuance are consistently ignored on social media. I’d like to properly alert my readers to purchase Salsa wherever they see it if my assumptions are correct. Can you please respond and let me know??

Thanks
Lilly

Their response was quite….lackluster.

Dear Lilly,

Thank you for contacting We-Vibe Customer Care.

We have consolidated our product line and as such the Salsa is no longer in production, though it is still widely available in many retail stores. The Tango and the Salsa are virtually identical with the only discernible difference being the shape and the colour. The Tango proved more popular than the Salsa, though the decision to stop producing the Salsa was not based on gender preferences but rather on sales.

Best Regards, 
Customer Care

*blinks* No apologies for the lack of response time and again on social media sites, not even a “Thanks for recommending our product, glad you like it” half-hearted attempt at giving a shit. Call me naive but I’m surprised. Hell I’ve had a more personal and heartfelt response from Doc Johnson. I think Tantus is likely a bigger company than We-Vibe but Tantus goes out of their way for superb customer service.

I’ll still continue to recommend the Tango, although it will be with a tiny bit less enthusiasm than the Salsa (even though, yes, they are virtually identical, the only difference being color and tip shape). However I will recommend the Tango only because I love the vibrations, not because I love the company.  I’m so damn sick of “girly” shades of blue, pink and purple – the red, black and white of the Salsa were such a welcome change.  So buy up the Salsa when you see it if you think you prefer the color and/or tip shape. At least on EdenFantasys, you’ll be able to tell if they’re truly out of stock or finally discontinued – I’ve shown examples below, the left is the Salsa out of stock til Feb 4th, the right is a Liberator product that they no longer carry.

salsaoutofstock EFdiscontinued

RIP, Salsa.

On that note, I’d love love love to giveaway a Salsa or two to my readers as a proper send-off for my most-loved vibrator ever. If anyone would be interested in sponsoring such a thing, please contact me

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Update:  Standard Innovations Marketing has contacted me and apologized for the lack of response on social media sites and has said that they will be improving their online presence drastically. I really do hope so; in this age, social media is huge and it’s often the place where many people go to first for customer service.  Unfortunately our collective sadness over this discontinuance can’t stop the ‘wheels of progress’, we can’t save it like a petition for a TV show. SI said: “With regards to the Salsa, we too are sad to see it go, but as our brand evolves we needed to make space in our line up for future products. We also appreciate your feedback with regards to colour. This is something we will seriously consider when developing new products.” So I do hope that they continue to expand into more gender-neutral colors. In regards to the Salsa, I will be sent a whole case to give away as I see fit! I’m still sad that I won’t be able to recommend it to all my lovely readers BUT I’m thrilled that at least a few more people will be able to own one. I just need to figure out how best to go about doing it. I’d really like to see the Salsas end up with people who are like me, who have been searching and searching for a clitoral vibrator that has the power and depth we need. I’ve reviewed or owned over 100 vibrators and the Salsa/Tango wins, hands-down, above everything that I’ve tried.

Update 2-7-13: EdenFantasys has it back in stock finally, and until the 15th you can get it 25% off (use couponcode Hot4YOU). Who knows how long they’ll have it or how many they have/can get. I wouldn’t wait.

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Dec 3, 2012

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The Best (and worst) Sex Toys of 2012

Last  year I wrote up what I thought were the best & worst sex toys of 2011 and here I am again. My reviewing slowed down this year so I’m afraid I may have missed one or two that would deserve a spot on this list. If you can think of anything that I would consider worthy of this list, mention it! It will give me something to try in the new year. I’ve also included a few things on the list that I haven’t personally tried (*), but my Spidey Sense tells me my hunches are spot-on. That and reading from reviewers that I trust.

Best Sex Toys of 2012

Last year I could rattle off a few really stand-out new products. This year I’m having trouble coming up with more truly “wow” items simply because my tippy top favorite wins by such a giant landslide that everything is just “good” in comparison.

Best Vibrator of 2012 - We-Vibe Salsa & TangoBest Vibrator: Tango & Salsa by We-Vibe(Some of my research says these came out Dec2011/Jan2012, some research says earlier.) It’s no surprise to regular readers of my blog that this would be my number one pick as I have adored these vibrators for a multitude of reasons. They’re one of the few “luxury” sex toys that I fully stand behind the price tag and I will recommend these to just about anybody. I pretty much compare everything to them now and they can sometimes be the only vibrator that I use for weeks on end. Solo, partnered, stand-alone or paired with a dildo…it doesn’t matter. Best external vibrator, ever. Period. It is simply the most powerful mini vibe on the market – and it’s rechargeable. Those two facts don’t usually go hand in hand. It’s more rumbly than just about anything else, too. Pick any external vibe and this will blow it out of the water. Don’t let that scare off the sensitive girls though, because there are 4 speeds.
p.s. – Grab up the Salsa while you can at EF if you prefer the red, black or white color, as it appears that We-Vibe has discontinued Salsa – Salsa & Tango are virtually identical except for the tip’s shape and the colors. Tango comes in baby blue, pink and purple. I also feel that the Salsa is more versatile for replacing the RO-80mm bullets.

Best Dildo - the Tantus AnacondaBest Dildo: This year’s best dildo is also one of the more unique things. Tantus came out with three new dildos this year specially made for people with short arms. Um, I think. Actually I don’t know what the idea was behind making dildos with handles, but I’d like to think the short-arms theory came up in the drawing room. The Anaconda is my favorite but for those that prefer a little more texture and a little less girth, the Echo and Goddess versions are awesome as well. While Tantus didn’t pioneer the whole handle-on-a-dildo thing, I think they perfected it. I’ve only ever seen similar styles in icky rubber dildos. You don’t want an icky, rubber dildo.

Sometimes Tantus has sales on these, so keep an eye on their site as well for the Anaconda, Echo Handle and Goddess Handle.

Aslan Leather Cherry Minx HarnessBest New-to-Me Find: Aslan Leather Harness – I’m one of those people who has a visceral reaction to the smell of true leather. Aslan Harnesses are made from the most awesome leather, ever. It’s buttery soft and beautiful. The Cherry color is just so incredibly sexy. While I can’t consider myself a harness expert, I’ve tried on a few and the Cherry Minx was the most comfortable one I’ve had on and that says a lot. I always used to think that being fat with hips and a gut meant I couldn’t find a harness but this company proves that thought wrong. The Cherry Jaguar is better for slimmer-to-curvy women, as the Minx adds in a corset backpad that allows for a bigger size increase if you need it. Really though, I think you’ll love any harness from Aslan. They’re just beautifully made and look awesome.

Vibrator "Enhancer" from Evolved - Turns any standard vibe into something anal-play-safeBest Sex Toy Accessory: Vibrator Enhancer* – It doesn’t cost much and it doesn’t really do much but yet if you’re really into anal play and like vibrations in your butt, then you need to own this. Nothing more than a stretchy hunk of silicone, it gives vibrators a flared base which is essential for safe anal play. Small, medium and large sizes will accommodate just about any sex toy on the market I think. I’ve read in more than one place that it can also turn a standard vibe into a dual stimulator, but I just don’t buy that. Anatomy doesn’t work that way for one, and two as we learned from the We-Vibe Touch, a hunk of silicone seriously dampens vibrations. The Enhancers are sold alone or in a three-pack; for the price, you should just get the three-pack, that way you’re certain to get the best fit. You want the enhancer to fit pretty tight – a barely-there grasp will be useless as an anal-play-safety device. Also keep in mind depending on where you’re able to put the enhancer, the all-around pressure on the vibrator might dampen vibrations on some toys. Just try to keep this thing on the handle of your favorite vibe.

Lelo Smart Wand Large with the Vixen Gee Whiz attachmentHonorable Mention: Lelo Smart Wand Large – I love the deep, rumbly vibrations and feel that they are less numbing than the Hitachi. It’s not as powerful but sometimes buzzy things like the Hitachi need to be more powerful in order to get some people off…..like me. I need less power when the vibrations are truly deep and rumbly. This doesn’t receive a ribbon though because you really get the most out of it as a sex toy only by adding in a Hitachi-compatible attachment like the Gee Whiz…plus the price tag of everything is a bit of a hindrance. But for rumble-enthusiasts and lovers of the posh look of Lelo, it’s a Good Thing. Heavy? Kinda. Much better as a back and body massager though than the Medium version, which earned a place down below.  If I could manage to keep this thing charged up all the time, I would use it more often than I do.

Lelo Tiani 2Best Re-Vamp Efforts: Lelo has revamped, for the better, the Tiani (and I think anything else from the SenseMotion line), Tor II cock ring, Ina, Mona, and Elise. Lelo actually listened to the complaints of reviewers and while they obviously could not alleviate all concerns and please everyone, their efforts are worth mentioning. The Mona was never really a bad toy, but with a power boost to the Mona 2 and a change towards a more rumbly motor, it seems to be even better. They even addressed that demarcation line between silicone and plastic, making things easier to clean! The TorII cock ring (I’m told) was made more stretchy after my review, although it never really was the strongest contender in their line of revamps. Ina 2 gets a more flexible clitoral arm so that there’s less clamping going on, plus more rumbly power.

Worst Sex Toys of 2012

Hold on to Me Kegel Exercisers from the Bedroom Kandi line – Some women will love how these look, some women will hate them. I actually preferred the color scheme to the Lelo Luna Beads but that was the only singular positive thing about this utter failure. I had the head guy from OhMiBod (the manufacturer) insisting up down left and right that the holder for the beads was pure silicone. My insistence that it was not led to my Silicone Flame Testing post and video. The fails on the HOTM begin with the name and end at “will snap your vag like a rubber band oh and the paint flakes off”. Yeah.

Fixsation Couples Vibe – I knew the very second I opened the package that I was going to hate this item. Hate. It’s worthless for women who need more than just a little vibration and generic pressure to get off. At best it was annoying, at worst it was quite painful. It’s definitely not a “fat chick approved” sex toy, despite them offering the “”"panty”"” (I cannot put enough sardonic quotes around that word to describe it) in plus sizes.

We-Vibe Thrill – Part of the reason I hated the Thrill so badly was that I was expecting it to have the same motor as my beloved Tango/Salsa. It might, buried somewhere in the confines of the Dumbest Sex Toy Design This Year. It didn’t do anything for any part of my genitals, but hey my thumb got quite the buzz! Wait. Thumb? This toy would be great for women who require feather touches to their clit and a little buzz to the g-spot. If you need anything more than that, keep on lookin.

Lelo’s Smart Wand in Medium – As much as I enjoyed the Large Smart Wand, the Medium left a lot to be desired. Wimpy (equal to the original Mona), not at all living up to the “wand” name, worthless as a sex toy and more worthless as a body massager, it felt like an overpriced (but pretty) waste of money.

Duet by Crave – I didn’t review this, Epiphora gave us that honor. It confirmed my fears and despite being a giant geek, I was not at all willing to shell out $150 of my own money to echo her review. When we first saw this sex toy it was in beta, and all that was talked about was the fact that it was USB storage AND a vibrator ALL IN ONE. Sure…..if you wanna pay something like $225. For 16GB of storage. I always thought that the Lelo Mia would be better if it had USB storage capability but Piph made a very valid point: Unless you were to copy the porn file to the computer in question, it’s not like you can watch porn from the vibrator while you’re using it. Unless you truly enjoy something clamping your clit in a pinch that could turn ugly at the wrong moment, the vibrations are paltry and frankly…Crave should be ashamed of themselves. The vibe was also a lot bigger than I had expected and not even the posh look and adorable black leather carrying case could charm me.

Evi by Aneros – Aneros should stick to prostate toys. The idea behind the EVI is the same as their prostate toys – hands-free, it works by you clenching and unclenching muscles, basically. It may work for some (I’ve heard some glowing reviews, boggled as I may be) but it was an utter failure for me. It is supposed to stimulate both clit and g-spot in a back-and-forth motion via pressure alone. It doesn’t come anywhere near my g-spot OR my clit. It’s, quite honestly, a very boring sex toy. Just looking at the photos on the site again boggles me as the majority of dual-stim toys are C-shaped…and this is um, not. It felt like it was pressing into my ass.

Interested in anything here? I’m sure EdenFantasys will be running sales all month long and I’ll try to update them here.

Site-wide sale!

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Nov 17, 2012

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The New We-Vibe Thrill – A solo version of the We-Vibe

I’mma be upfront and honest with you right now.

I’m not thrilled.

Yeah I know, that was cheesy. Actually, I’m disappointed, pissed off and feeling like I wasted my money.

The We-Vibe thrill’s shape is very reminiscent of the original couple’s vibrator version, but with one major design change: an odd plastic housing over the clitoral stimulator and a “control handle”. This vibrator is not at all meant to be used during sex and so the g-spot stimulator is more pronounced that the original We-Vibe and of course on the whole the Thrill is much bigger than the We-Vibe. 

   

I purchased the Thrill on my own for one reason: I’d read that the vibrations were very comparable to my darling favorites, the We-Vibe Salsa/Tango. I now have to wonder if that person even owned a Salsa or Tango because having that in mind when trying out the Thrill leads to one giant disappointment. The Salsa/Tango is, hands down, my favorite vibrator. If you held a gun to my head and made me pick only one vibrator to ever have, that would be it. In fact, I’ve only used something else on the off chances I’ve forgotten to charge up all 3 of mine. Yes, 3. I have my original Tango and Salsa plus one that I won during MomentumCon. And you’ll pry them from my cold, dead hands thankyouverymuch.

I would recommend the Salsa and/or Tango to anybody, heartily and with no reservations. On the reverse side though I will tell you to stay away from the Thrill. At $170, it is overpriced and underwhelming. The design seems to be a little similar to the Rock Chick, but with a much better vibrator motor. In fact, the Rock Chick would probably benefit from an upgrade to the Salsa vibe in place of its removable, watch-battery wimpy bullet. At least the Rock Chick had hopes of applying some pressure to my g-spot. The Thrill has no chance of that. The internal portion and the connecting arm are just like the We-Vibe – flexible and therefore applying no pressure. The vibrations are definitely pretty rumbly, which is always a good thing, but it’s just not enough to matter.

Let’s talk about the clitoral portion, because for as disappointing and fail as the g-spot portion is…..the clitoral stimulator is abysmal. Utterly freaking worthless, unless you would consider yourself on the more sensitive scale, requiring more movement/pressure than vibration. But for someone who has an unholy love for the We-Vibe Salsa….the We-Vibe Thrill needs to die in a fire. They made the clitoral portion hard plastic. The fact that the Salsa/Tango is hard plastic was a good thing, because the We-Vibe Touch has the exact same motor but is encased in typical We-Vibe silicone- making it easier to hold, but dampening the vibrations. Yet the Thrill goes in the opposite direction. The vibrations are actually severely dampened on the hard plastic portion – I would estimate that the vibrations on the silicone portion are 2 or 3 times more powerful than the vibrations on the plastic portion. The “control handle” is silicone and it vibrates more than the part that touches your clit. WHERE IS THE SENSE IN THIS? DID THEY TEST THIS? The demarcation line between the silicone and plastic is irritating, as well, and makes it as hard to clean as that damn Lelo Insignia vibrator I hated.

 

The singular control button is identical to the Touch and Salsa/Tango, as is the charging method: The button is in the middle of two tiny metal dots; you press it for 4 different power levels and then 4 different pattern settings. Press and hold to turn it off or on. However….this button is located at the tip which means it ends up buried in the apex of my labia. This makes the thing very damn difficult to control during use. If they added a handle, why not put the button up there on the handle??

We-Vibe Thrill - Accessories inside the box  We-Vibe Thrill - Showing the white charging base for the Touch/Salsa/Tango on the left vs the new (yet compatible) black base for the Thrill  We-Vibe Thrill with the charger attached - it's hanging on there, just barely!

The charger connects magnetically, but the magnetic connection is not very strong. It topples off so very easily, but I find that this is the case with any charging connection that is magnetic. As I was taking photos, I could barely get the thing to stay on if the cable was hanging down. Here’s another kicker for you – it charges via USB. Awesome, right? I suppose. I just don’t like for that to be my only charging option. Luckily since I already own the Salsa & Tango, I was just using that charger since it still fits and works the same. We-Vibe’s official statement on the USB-only matter is that in the interest of “conservation” they did not include a USB power adapter, since those things are so widely available elsewhere, which is fine I suppose but given the high price of the thing I would expect that to be included. But my charger for the Salsa is always plugged in and sitting ready and waiting – I wasn’t about to take up what precious little desk real estate is left just to make sure this thing was fully charged before I made my final decree of it being utter crap. We-Vibe also has this bad habit of giving you your charger in pieces. The “dock” that actually connects to the toy can separate from the cord. With the Touch/Salsa/Tango, a headset-style jack plugs into the tiny, weird-shaped white dome. With the Thrill, the “dock” is a teeny little black piece that merely plugs into a USB-to-mini-USB cable. This could mean that with the same cable, you could then start charging your phone or something but then you would have to remove the teeny black piece and if you’re anything like me, it’ll get lost. We-Vibe says that the Thrill will charge fully in 90 minutes and give you 2 hours of play time.

Yes, they give you a pouch to hold everything but it has not changed from the Salsa/Touch/Tango line – it is a very cheap faux-satin material that feels crinkly and weird. The box that it all comes in is actually quite nice – very sturdy and definitely usable for storage, the lid clicks closed magnetically. Ironically, it’s a stronger magnetic bond that the charger base is to the toy. If I cared about being discrete I could simply put a sticker over the logo on the front of the red box and that would render it completely incognito to first glance. The interior portions that hold the vibe in place for pretty presentation remove easily and are not glued in.

We-Vibe Thrill

The Thrill comes in only one color option thus far – an admittedly pretty, dark fuchsia/ruby pink. The Thrill is 100% waterproof which is good because it’s not easy to clean and it will need cleaning often – it uses the typical We-Vibe silicone which is shiny and grabby. You can see below that after only a few minutes of taking photos, it accumulated a bunch of hair, fur and dust. You’ll want to rinse it off before you use it (which is never a plus in my book, I like spontaneity with my toys).

Very Hairy!

Honestly I’m not sure where I stand anymore with We-Vibe on the whole. The fact that they made the Salsa/Tango unlike any other rechargeable vibrator and that it could very well serve as my only clitoral vibrator needed, ever, tends to hold a LOT of weight. The fact that they kept making improvements to their original namesake also holds some weight. While it’s still a hetero-couple’s vibe and isn’t perfect, they did make very necessary and worthy changes. The Touch has merits and is great for those who don’t need the big oomph of the Salsa/Tango and need something easier to hold. It’s not my cup of tea, but it’s still nice. But the Thrill? It really just pisses me off. Experienced sex toy owners know if a toy will work for them in the first minute they hold it in their hands. It took me less than a minute to know that the Thrill was going to bore me. The nice packaging, the silicone, the recharge factor…none of that matters. None of it. The design is a complete and utter fail. If they had just made the entire thing silicone it would be better – the massive amount of silicone would still dampen the vibrations from the strong motor (I’m going to assume here that the motor is the same as the Touch/Salsa/Tango because that is what makes sense, and I do detect the same rumbly factor), but it wouldn’t kill it completely like the bizarre plastic portion does.

I think I’d recommend something like the Lelo Ina 2 over this is you’re looking for a nicer, rechargeable, part-silicone vibrator. Totally different shape and style yet still a dual-stimulator. There really is very little on the market that is similar to the Thrill – most dual stimulator vibrators are of the “rabbit” style, with a long control handle rather than being C-shaped. Other than the much-larger Rock-Chick/G-Rock there is the “Snugglepuss” by Vibratex, which has been around for longer than I’ve been reviewing, yet it’s pretty weak.

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Jul 16, 2012

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FixSation Couples Vibe – Not for Fat Chicks!

Whenever I see a product, especially a sex toy, that is marketed as the be-all end-all perfect-for-all product….I get skeptical. And then I aim to prove it wrong. I’m happy to be the one proven wrong, lest this be misunderstood as a mission where I will not accept my own “failure” to spot a crappy product. I think you all know better than that, but I also think there might be a reader or two who won’t understand unless it’s spelled out. As much as I love to tell you about awesome sex toys I also love to tell you which ones to avoid.
Update: Fixsation owner tried to leave a “redeeming” comment for the product, shaming me and pretending to be a customer. Professional, eh?

When I first saw the Fixsation I thought “Oh great…another wearable vibe for skinny hetero chicks”. Then I was told that no, no! it comes in various sizes! yay. Unlike the atrocity that was the Venus Penis which had no hope of fitting any woman above a size 12, the Fixsation comes in various sizes. The XXL  claims to fit sizes 18-20. That is as big as it goes, however. My pants are closer to a 20 right now because I carry a lot of my weigh in that ring area right below the belly button – my hips, my ass, my belly. Going by the drawings of the Fixsation, I figured I would not be able to wear this at all. I was mostly right. Anyone larger than me would not have a prayer.


Photo courtesy of EdenFantasys

Fixsation is labeled as a “couple’s vibe and panty”, and that is my first bone to pick. A strip of lace does not a panty make. At best it’s a garter belt. Sort of. I suppose this is a minor gripe in the grand scheme of things to come, though.

The Fixsation is “assembly required”. I always appreciate when my rechargeable vibe is already charged up when it arrives at my doorstep, because I’m impatient when it comes to trying out new toys. The vibrator portion of the Fixsation did arrive charged….so at least I was able to immediately tell that that portion was a complete fail for me, but the “panty” portion required assembly. It seems simple enough – there is a silly band of lace and 2 small bra-strap-ish straps that clip on to the lace and eventually run through holes in the vibe to achieve the hands-free feature.

Assembly took me 10 minutes and I nearly launched it across the room twice. I had to get out the tweezers to finish the job. Since part of this sex toy is fabric and it will get dirty, you will need to handwash it…which means you will need to take the vibrator off. And then re-assemble it. My tip, if you should purchase this, is to assemble it well before sex otherwise you will be too irritated to even have sex. Once I had both straps threaded through the side holes it was time to put it on. You step into it like a panty…..just be sure you don’t get things tangled up before you step in. Pulling the lace bit up proved my point that this design is just not meant for fat girls. I had to pull it all the way up over my hips to rest at my belly-button-centered waist area and this was a very tight fit. Someone built differently might have better luck letting this rest on the hips. I then had to adjust the vibe so that it was sitting more or less over the area where my clitoris was….somewhere. Here’s where the failure was the greatest.

I have very full outer labia and mons. It’s kinda natural given my size but I think I’ve always been like this even when I was thinner. When I spread my legs, I still have to part my labia to access my clit. If that describes you at all, then the Fixsation will not work. You pretty much have to look like this Wikipedia photo, with minimal labia and a prominent clitoris. What happens if you should try to spread your labia around the vibrator so that the vibrator will actually be vibrating your clitoris and not your labia?

Pain. Pinching. Pain. Even if you like pain with your sex, this is not the purpose of the sex toy. The sides of the vibrator are a bit sharp-feeling to fleshy flesh since it is made of hard plastic. God forbid you should have pubic hair, because it will get caught up in the sides. This can happen to either one of you, by the way. Imagine a more-painful but less-complicated entanglement similar to braces locking together when kissing. A pubic hair or two yanked out at the root doesn’t exactly keep the mood alive.


Photo courtesy of EdenFantasys

Fixsation is meant for the missionary position sex1 and is advertised solely to hetero couples. I can understand their motive for the audience thing, even though I don’t exactly like it. This toy could work for lesbian couples…perhaps. But to design something just for the missionary position? Fixsation is meant to work with the pressure applied by your partner’s pubic bone. It’s been a long time since I first side-eyed this sex toy but I once ran across something that seriously irked me; I believe it was on the Fixsation website but I cannot find it anymore so I cannot be sure of where I read this but I remember this specifically: It was said that the Fixsation was never intended to be a powerhouse, because the point was to “help” bring her to orgasm at the same time as her partner2. It was purposely designed so that she did not climax from clitoral stimulation alone before her partner. *blinks* I have lots of feelings on that, and none of them are good. Be that as it may, you’ve likely guessed by now that the Fixsation is mediocre at best in the vibrations department. It is pretty buzzy. It has a little more power than the original Lelo Tiani, but not as much as the Tiani 2 or the We-Vibe 3.

Speaking of, since this is touted as a “couple’s sex toy”, let’s discuss how it compares to the Lelo Tiani or the We-Vibe, two other hetero-centered PIV sex toys. Both the Tiani and We Vibe work by inserting part of the toy inside the vagina. If your partner is bigger than average or you do not like anything bigger, then you’d want the Tiani over the WeVibe. But the Fixsation proudly proclaims that it is “non-invasive” which could be a plus for some women. There is no remote with the Fixsation, the button is located on the vibrator. You have to press and hold for about 5 seconds to begin vibrations. One of the reasons I prefer the We-Vibe 3 over the We-Vibe 2 is the remote: it’s awkward and not easy to fumble around a slippery vibrator with slick fingers in the middle of sex to change a vibration speed or turn it off. So the boast of “no remotes needed” for the Fixsation is not a plus in my book.

Moving along….the Fixsation is indeed quiet. Users who are in need of something quiet will find that in this toy. It is made from body-safe materials (plastic). It is water-resistant but not waterproof: Ok for squirters but not ok to wash along with the “panty”3. It is rechargeable, has various speeds of yawn, is fairly small, travel-friendly and “non-threatening” if you happen to have a male partner who is so insecure as to be intimidated by sex toys.

Fixsation would work best for:

  • Those who are a size 14 or under, despite the sizing of the XXL version
  • Women who do not carry much weight in their belly
  • Women whose labia are small and whose clitoris is easily accessed and visible
  • Those who do not require much assistance from vibration to help with climax
  • Those who prefer the missionary position
  • Heterosexual couples, however it could work for same-sex couples if the giving partner’s harness isn’t too bulky
  • Solo use if you truly hate holding two sex toys and fit the above descriptions
  • Those with cropped or shaved pubic hair

Please note that these aren’t “or” statements, they pretty much all go together and you have to fit most of them. I do not.

I really, really dislike the Fixsation. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever recommend it. There are many flaws, a lot of which are never mentioned in some other reviews. This is another reason why I wanted to get it – if you’re thinking of dropping $100 on a sex toy, you should be fully informed. I am a bit irked that I paid 2/3 the retail for this sex toy because in a way it feels like a gigantic waste of money, but at least I was able to use EdenPoints to cover the rest of the balance after doing a buy-out assignment. I knew though, when I bought it, that it wouldn’t work for me so it’s not like I was disappointed and didn’t have my own gut instinct as fair warning. I specifically wanted to review this item though for a retailer, and at that, one who doesn’t mind a negative review. If I had had to hold my tongue after experiencing this awful sex toy I’d have been mighty pissed.

While I have indeed often wished for a sex toy similar to the Fixsation for use during missionary-position sex, Fixsation falls so short of the mark it’s not even funny. Because we’ve yet to find a sex toy that doesn’t get in the way during sex, he usually gets me off before PIV sex. Our favorite way is his hand plus my We-Vibe Salsa, resulting in an explosive orgasm that he was very much a part of, and it leads to a deliciously sensitive g-spot and therefore extremely pleasurable sex for us. That is what works for us. His cock is too long for me to enjoy rear-entry positions usually, or I’d be using a position pillow like the Liberator Wing, Axis Hitachi, Pulse or BonBon to hold the vibrator in place for me.

Since the Fixsation is technically in the strap-on vibrator category while still being a hetero-couple’s vibrator for use during sex, it’s a little difficult to recommend something else. Of course the Lelo Tiani 2 and the We-Vibe 3 are very decent for Hetero-PIV sex, I can understand that they’re not everyone’s cup of tea. They’re not strong enough for me, personally. The Tiani is pretty darn unobtrusive vaginally, while the WeVibe 3 is quite a bit more noticeable. I would not likely recommend anything from the strap-on vibrators section that looks like a butterfly/bee/whatever. However, this pair of vibrating crotchless panties could work if you replaced the bullet with the WeVibe Salsa….except that it’s “one size fits 45% of users”, so not plus size friendly. The Black Rose Vibrating Panties are very femme and pretty and very adjustable but you’d need to do some cutting and sewing to change them into crotchless panties for sex. Again, I’d also recommend pairing it with the WeVibe Salsa or Tango for a huge upgrade to the vibrator.

ETA: I’ve already heard some pretty negative things about the inventor, Tiffany York, so as soon as I got the comment below I just knew it was her. She must think I’m pretty damn dumb, she used the same email address that is associated with the Fixsation domain! YES, pretending to be a satisfied customer and getting snotty in your comment will TOTALLY discredit my negative review in the eyes of all who shall pass here and doesn’t look suspicious AT ALL. Yup. Yes indeedy. Sorry Tiff, not born yesterday:

fixsationcommentspamtiffanyyork

  1. Ok I think I’ve seen a few other positions named, mostly Tantra type positions and things that, frankly, the average vanilla couple doesn’t do
  2. They use the term “Wegasm” GAG
  3. Truly I cringe and grit my teeth every time I refer to the “”panty”" and I cannot use enough quotes to accurately convey my reluctance in calling it such

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Mar 3, 2012

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Lelo admits to faulty SenseMotion remotes: The good news and the bad news

A few months ago I reviewed the abysmal Lelo SenseMotion Insignia Tiani. Insignia SenseMotion Tiani? What a mouthful either way! The fact is, I and other reviewers, had come to the same conclusion: Lelo’s hyped SenseMotion was a total failure. For some reason though most of us assumed that the technology itself failed and Lelo hadn’t actually tested it before sending it out into the world; we all assumed that it was another disappointment in the growing line of increasingly-expensive Lelo sex toys. Jaded, much?

Rumors swirled that someone had contacted the warranty department at Lelo, they had been sent a new remote, and lo and behold – SenseMotion worked like it was supposed to! After first chalking this up to a PR rumor, I finally looked into it and my contact at Lelo didn’t so much as confirm as “eluded to” the fact that the first run had faulty remotes in some of the toys and a new remote would actually perform as intended.

I was skeptical. I admit it.

I was wrong! They DID fix the remote. I inserted the Tiani and then put pants on1. I was alone for my test so I changed the remote to the one setting where it did not vibrate and I um….well…I set it on the cat tree. What! It allowed me to walk 15 feet without barriers of walls! I found that I was able to get about 15 feet away before the vibrations cut out. However the difference now is that all it required was for me to move just a foot in another direction and the vibrations started up again. I was able to walk into another room and it still worked. I was able to sit down. And cross my legs. And effectively have the ENTIRETY of the Tiani covered in flesh.

And it still worked.

Given that this was the major complaint of many reviewers, having a functioning remote could very well change a lot of opinions. Heck as far as “public remote controlled vibrators” go, this change might technically edge up the Tiani over the We Vibe 3 for public use. The range on the We Vibe 3 is a mere 10 feet and while it works fine with flesh, heavier clothing requires the remote to be close by. Anyways.

Here’s the bad news. You knew it was coming, so don’t act all surprised.

The new remote makes the SenseMotion work as it should. Which is, I admit, quite neat. However it does not change the intensity or style of vibrations in the actual Insignia Tiani vibrator. They are still weakish and surface-buzzy as hell. If I were very sensitive, then this toy might serve as a great tease but I can’t see how it could bring about orgasm. 2 The fact that the remote now has 500% better reception with the vibrator still doesn’t take away from these negative points which still mean I don’t like the Tiani and would hesitate to recommend it:

  • The vibrations are just piss poor
  • The slender arm meant for insertion simply doesn’t stay put for me if used as a “public” vibrator, not during intercourse. I was not really very aroused so I can’t imagine it faring any better if I were wet
  • The remote requires batteries
  • The remote requires a special tool to open the back – I tried to open it without it, and failed. As I said in my initial review of the Tiani, you could use a coin but that would end up scratching the metallic-painted plastic over time. Some people think that this is not a big deal and that some of us are big baby whiners. To them I say bravo: you have normal functioning in your hands/fingers/grip. I do not. Lube on your fingers? Fuggeddaboutit. You’re not opening that back without the plastic key.
  • The remote is large and not discreet; if you put it in the non-vibrating mode then you still have to have it visible to know what setting it is on. If you leave the vibrations on, then it is no longer discreet enough for public use. The vibrating remote is also louder than the toy itself.
  • The price tag is around $150.

The bottom line is this: Lelo vibrators come with a warranty, and the faulty remote that you might have gotten is covered under this warranty. Simply contact them for a replacement remote. When you contact Lelo’s warranty department, I must warn you that your replacement remote will ship out from China. This international shipping means that discretion is compromised – on the outside of the UPS International bag will be a ziploc-style bag for the documentation paperwork that is needed for customs. This is made so that anybody can view the paperwork without opening up your package. However, this also means that snoopy neighbors/roommates/parents can easily get to the paper and find out exactly what is contained in the package.

I will end this update on a positive note: It does appear that honest reviews are getting back to Lelo and they are taking them to heart. They listened to the honest reviews and they fixed the remotes. They claim to be making the SenseMotion toys more powerful, however, I cannot and will not attest to that without seeing it for myself.

They also claim that they made the Lily and Nea, two first-gen Lelo clitoral vibrators that were about as lackluster in vibrations as the Tiani, more powerful – yet unlike the Mia, they have not made this news public. Why not, I wonder? I suppose it would lead to customers who care about it wondering if the retailer they are purchasing from is sending old stock or newer, updated and more powerful versions. I don’t know if the Lelo Tor cock ring had any increased vibration intensity of their first-run Bo cock rings, but I can say that despite initial concerns on the lack of stretch in the cock ring itself, their updated Tor II cock ring does have better vibrations – more powerful and more rumbly. If those vibrations in the Tor II that I have were in the Tiani? I might recommend it more.

  1. something unheard of before with the old remote
  2. Then again, that’s like me claiming that I could guess how a Fleshlight would really feel.

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