Nov 012013

UPDATE: Please note, the version of the vibrator in the review is no longer available. In fact, I’m not even sure that I was given the version in stores, which was infuriating. I was given the version that was already scrapped. And then not many months later, they gave up entirely on the Revel Body and came out with the Revel SOL (shit-out-of-luck, yeah, I know) which apparently has marginally better reviews. But the idea is still basically the same.

Crowd-funding for sex toys never ceases to amaze me. The Revel Body is one such item, but unlike a few other sex toys, at least the Revel Body is being made with very different technology. And for those with finicky clits which demand specific types of powerful vibrations–those who are disappointed with nearly every Lelo vibrator, or most other luxury vibrators–our hopes go up when we hear about something new. How is it new, exactly? Well, I’m not really sure beyond knowing that it involves “sonic” vibrations and magnets1. I’m a geek, sure, but lately I don’t want to put this much effort into knowing how my vibrator works. I just want one that works. If you want to know more, you’ll browse their site. I’m not here to tell you HOW it works, just how it worked for ME.  If I were to explain every aspect of this thing2, we’d be here all damn day3. You can look at photos and read the “about” info on their site.  For a little more, I did a mini video review, too, viewable on the separate review about the extra accessories for the Revel Body.

I think it’s safe to say that I tried harder with this vibrator than any other vibrator in the past. I’m usually pretty decisive pretty fast; even when the vibrator is “meh” and only sort of gets me off. But the Revel Body thoroughly confused me because so many things about it tricked my logical brain into thinking that it should work for me. There was no way it wouldn’t. Many of you know the vibration intensity test tricks – hollow of your cheek, or tip of your nose. Even on my fingertip, certain modes of the Revel Body combined with certain tips seemed more powerful than my much-loved forever-compared We-Vibe Tango. Yet….my clitoris staunchly disagreed.

The Revel Body’s design history feels promising. They truly have worked hard, and aimed to make a revolutionary sex toy, of that much I am certain. And I’ve heard from some women that they love it, it’s amazing, etc. However, I’ve heard from just as many that it was a complete failure for them. This is, however, the case with ALL sex toys. So I kept an open mind, and that’s why I tried so hard to love it. But the basic design of it just is 100% incompatible with my body/vulva type. When I added on the accessory tips, I saw some improvement but ultimately it wasn’t enough for me. This vibrator is absolutely going to work best for women with exposed/”outtie” clits. Women like me will have issues. Women who need/like some rubbing and pressure in addition to their vibrations will not have any luck with the Revel Body, as applying pressure works against the piston motion and applying pressure to the side of certain tips will cause the vibrations to halt completely. This is not easy to achieve with just the original, flat, included tip but it can be an issue if you purchase some of those accessory tips.

InserttipDespite seeing all of the information online, I was still a bit baffled on how the Revel Body actually works – not how the sonic works, but “which part do I apply to my clit? That’s it? That little pink dot??”. In my other review which focuses on the accessory tips and all that you can purchase separately, I have a short video which will give you a better idea of How Things Work if you’re interested.

From what I understand, they chose to use magnets to ensure that the Revel Body has only one moving part, thus apparently giving it a longer life than traditional vibrators. magnetsIf you don’t get any of the accessory tips, it’s less of a big deal, but if you do you’ll have to store them in their own boxes. They shouldn’t touch – the magnetic pull is strong and they’ll cling to each other, making it a bit difficult to pry apart. You’ll want to keep the Revel Body and its tips away from all electronics (as warned by the manufacturer), body piercings and pacemakers. This is a little worrisome for me. Due to the way the vibe works, and the piston core, you could get a pubic hair or three yanked out if everything lines up improperly. They also caution not to use on loose skin… would women with long inner labia have cause for concern??  The warnings listed on the site are a bit intimidating4 but the warnings as listed in the manual are downright frightening. I get that they need to list these things for legal reasons, but still.  Again, “travel friendly” is a term thrown about. I disagree. There is also a separate, specific case (for $30) that includes a “baseless” charger which goes back to being like a finicky fob. I’d feel better if this travel case had a magnetic shield in it that would protect the vibrator and the accessory tips from ruining any electronics they might come near.  Sadly, the travel case is yet again an additional cost and is not included.

Another aspect of this vibe that alienates certain users is the changing of the tip. Even if you have only the one tip, you’ll want to remove it for better cleaning, or to try some lube on the piston to make it more quiet in use. To remove the tip, you have to push through the orb using your finger from the back end to push the piston/tip out. It requires some effort, and it’s not for those who have manicured, long fingernails. I broke a nail, and mine are short and stubby.

revel-rangeThis chart and the one to the left baffles me, and so does the settings. There’s a high and low overall power setting. Then there are 10 different levels of sonic whatever. Oddly, “low” is not what you’d expect. It’s not the most powerful, but it moves the piston the most. Levels 3 and 4 deliver the most intense sensations, whilst 9 and 10 are vibrating at such high speeds that you can barely feel anything at all. I tried out all of the tips (a separate post), and none made levels 6-10 do anything for me. I am told though, by the company, that they plan to introduce more tips in the near future – tips that are much softer and will resonate with the upper levels in a much better way. The included tip is a flat, hard disc coated with silky soft silicone (they all are). That chart at first had me sold, but in use there is hardly any different detectible between the high/low “overall” (not high vs low in the 10 settings). Combining 5 different tips with 20 different possible settings would surely seem like I could find something that would work and justify the cost, but I couldn’t.  Perhaps that’s why I became so damn frustrated with this thing – I became an unsatisfied version of Goldilocks. It’s super hard to describe what it feels like in use. A few of the levels, the mid-range, feel more like a traditional vibrator. The upper range, 8-10, is very “buzzy”, high-pitched, etc. It’s barely enough to feel, especially that “highest” setting. On the lowest setting, there’s a lot of piston movement without a lot of power. Levels 3 and 4 deliver the most oomph, but it’s so finicky that I couldn’t orgasm. I don’t have a bathtub, but I have a feeling that this is the vibrator to try if you like masturbation in the tub. I think that on certain levels, combining it with underwater effects would result in something that feels more interesting. This would best be achieved though by using one of the accessory tips.

They say that it is extraordinarily quiet. The upper levels are, but the levels in which the piston moves away from the orb the most can get pretty noisy. You’re supposed to be able to make it silent by applying lube to the piston, but this only worked for a minute for me. The company claims that it has 50% more power than any other “battery powered” vibrator. What type of battery? Do they mean disposable? Obviously not, since they used mostly rechargeable models in their comparisons. If there is more power to the Revel Body Sonic Vibrator than the We-Vibe Tango, then something is getting lost in translation because I simply, absolutely, cannot orgasm from this vibrator. I just can’t.

Revel is still working out the kinks. I had to send mine back, which is surprising at this stage, because the charging was a bit wonky. Like many other higher end, waterproof vibrators, the Revel Body charges magnetically on a cradle. I hate this stuff. It’s slightly less finicky than those with a “fob” but it’s finicky nonetheless. The company is, though, very good with ensuring that your unit is working as it should. If you do have one and you’re having any weird issues at all, contact them. I still am having issues with the charging aspect, though, despite a new unit – sometimes it takes a dozen tries to get the magnetic connection just right so that it charges5. Another complaint about the charging unit – the cord is very short. You’ll have to find a sturdy, flat surface close to an outlet. Not an easy feat, for some.

For a vibrator that will seemingly only work for a small margin of people, I’m hard-pressed to recommend it. The price is high6 and includes only a basic tip for $180 at This is a deterrent to most. If you could buyrb-store-traveltemp2 all of the accessory tips currently available for one low price, instead of $80 extra for them all7, I might be slightly more inclined to gamble with a recommendation.  If the $180 price tag included the travel case and both charging options, and if the travel case shielded the magnets from each other and anything outside the case, the $180 might feel more worth it.

Thanks to the lovely for hooking me up to try this out!

  1. They say that it is “sonic”. That is isn’t just plain ole vibrations. There are magnets involved. They give graphic charts that make you think that yes, indeed, it will be far more powerful than what we’re used to. The videos are intriguing. But of course, all of that is moot unless it actually delivers on the promises made.  Revel has made a lot of comparisons of the RB to other vibes. For example, in this video. Yet….they managed to pick what I consider to be some of the most surface-buzzy/mediocre vibes on the market. Talk about stalking the deck in their favor.  And for one of the examples, the Lelo Lyla 2…..they put the REMOTE in the water. Not the vibe.
  2. Like the packaging
  3. Already half the day. Sorry folks. I tried like hell to cut this down
  4. and to me, don’t add up to being “travel friendly”
  5. In my -literally 9- attempts at making a short video review, in all but the last attempt I would try to show the unit being charged properly. Every time, it had performance anxiety. I was starting to wonder if I had a bad wall socket, but I did not. It’s just that finicky, and I’m surprised that for all the work that has gone into making this vibrator, they couldn’t come up with a better charging system
  6. For very valid reasons, I know; they use top notch materials, great packaging and ground-breaking vibrator technology
  7. They’re currently priced at $20 each which wouldn’t be bad, but how are you to know which tip will be the magic tip for you?
Nov 012013

I was lucky enough to be able to try the entire kit from Revel Body, thanks to the glorious Since the four extra tips, and travel case, are sold separately I wanted to talk about them separately.

Accessory Tips “Sold Separately”

RBNicoNico is a nipple-shaped tip that I thought would work best for me, but still didn’t – it’s a little too pinpoint and didn’t transmit as much oomph as I needed.  I thought that the decreased surface area would mean that the vibrations would concentrate more, but this somehow didn’t happen. The Nico and original tips almost feel like they have the same level of intensity, just the Nico is more pinpoint with the stimulation. The fact that it sticks out a little might make it more user-friendly for some – for others who are inclined to apply pressure and movement, this isn’t the tip for you. It’s very sensitive to being “knocked off balance” so to speak, and the vibrations will stop easily if any pressure is applied to the side of the tip.  The design flaw is baffling to me, but I think it’s the nub of pliable silicone on top of the solid core that dampens the vibrations down to compensate wrongly for the concentrated tip.

RBFawnFawn is the dreaded “bristle”1, which I think should never be mixed with a vibrator, as it’s either a tickle or a painful itch, but Fawn managed to transmit the most intensity on levels 3 & 4. Unfortunately, it was the wrong sort of intensity. It was too much. Lower/higher levels of vibrations with it were too little intensity for me. The bristles (I don’t know what else to call them, but I know bristles just sounds harsh), despite being a pliable, soft silicone, don’t translate to a softer feel in use. That’s why it delivers the most intensity. I would say that it feels 2 times more intense than the included tip – it should, since you’re feeling 26 tiny little heads needling you. It’s very ouchy on levels 2, 3 and 4. Level 1 is somewhat intense and thuddy; this tip transmits the most sensation on level 10 when compared to all the other tips, but it still isn’t much to write home about.

RBEverThe Ever tip is like a shallow, inverted Devo hat, and just awful with my buried clit and fat labia. I don’t quite understand the design. It is  softer tip, though, than Nico but not really enough to matter since you’ll never be applying enough pressure in use to appreciate it. In fact, on the lower end of the scale, the more pulsating levels, Ever doesn’t feel soft at all. It feels more intense than the included tip. The concave design might be designed to gently surround a clitoris, but it’s too shallow to really achieve that for me.  The ridges are confusing to me, because usually ridges on a sex toy are provided for extra stimulation during rubbing/movement. You can’t do that with the Revel Body so……moot point.

RBConaCona is frightening to someone with a buried/innie clit. If you have the patience to be super-exact with your vibe placement, and the ability to hold it suspended in the exact same position all during masturbation, then Cona might work for you. Well actually, that statement technically applies to a lesser degree for the Revel Body on the whole, but Cona needs you to be more exact. And the silicone is pliable, but just not quite soft enough to work out for surrounding the clit and burying in flesh.  Since the silicone needs to be firm enough to stand up, so to speak, the soft and squish that it does have is lost when considering how the piston moves and such.  It feels like a cop-out, like I’m trying to spin gold out of straw by using the “great for nipples” line, but it seems that this tip would work better for nipples than clits.

Travel Case

RBDrawstringThe gray material reminds me of school backpack material. Textured, thick, a bit shiny. There is a layer of padding, too, and I think that the case is probably water-resistant. I’m not exactly sure why….in case you need to pack it away while it’s still damp from cleaning, I guess? That would explain the air vent thing on the bottom of the case. The inside is hot pink. If you’re not a fan of pink….well…’re shit out of luck with the entire Revel Body line, I guess. The drawstring pouch is actually built in to the top portion of the case and is meant to hold the travel charger cord and plug.

The case would make a lot more sense to me if it contained a magnetic barrier of some sort. Jewelry did still want to cling to the case if I added in an extra accessory tip, but only with that added tip. Still, though, with all of their warnings about not having the Revel Body near anything electronic, a safety lining would have made me feel a lot better.

RBCordSince you already have the base unit, and it comes with the same USB wall charger bit, I’m not sure why they include an extra one. The cord is really nice, an industry first – covered in fabric, which really increases the durability of it. Unfortunately, all the problems I had getting the unit to make contact consistently and properly on the large base charging unit are worse with just the little fob. Even when holding the orb, I have to try a few times before the lights blink. And then if I set it down, it get easily gets knocked off course by just a hair, just enough to cut the charging connection.

I remember that one thing that drew me to wanting to review something from the Vida line from Topco was the included packaging2 – the roll pouch and the zippered case. Until I got it in my hands and saw the Topco shitty quality screaming through every aspect of it. Many aspects of the Revel Body Travel Case are well done – the lining is nice, there is padding, the drawstring pouch portion is nice. The zipper is a bit on the thick and clunky side, but not as bad as the zipper on the case of RBwonkypouchthe Vida Lussaria. My main issue with the quality of the construction of this case is at the bottom. See how it looks uneven? It doesn’t want to sit upright when the vibrator is in it. It’s crushed down on one side. I thought at first it was just from being packed in a box, but it hasn’t worked itself out, it was poorly constructed. This could just be my case, and very well may not happen for you. It doesn’t truly affect the purpose, just how it stands on its own.

Some aspects of these accessories (and the RB itself) leant better to video than just photos and words, so if you’re curious still, check it out:

Currently, the tips retail for $19.99 each on Shevibe. I’m told that the travel case will be for sale very shortly!

Once again, thanks to Shevibe and Revel Body for providing me with all of this review for you all!

  1. Although it is a very soft bristle, made of nothing but little soft tentacles of silicone, it still turns evil under extreme vibration
  2. and the fact that, at first, I didn’t know that the Vida line was, in fact, a veiled Topco creation line to appear like it was a luxury sex toy brand, but in wolf’s clothing

Lelo Gigi 2

 Internal Vibrator, Reviews, Sex Toys  Comments Off on Lelo Gigi 2
Oct 082013

Lelo Gigi 2 in Gray

The Lelo Gigi has been around for a long while now, since something like 2004 or 5.  But while a bunch of newer Lelo vibrators were getting their makeovers, the originals were left alone, until now. Gigi and Liv have recently been revamped with the power boost that, clearly, customers were asking for.

Unlike the Mona and Ina, there is no difference in the design of the Gigi 2 vs the original. The only three differences are –  the power has been increased; it is now fully waterproof;  and it comes in an entirely new color – a nice, neutral, pale gray. I really, really like the gray. I hope that it shows up in future designs.

Lelo Gigi 2 vs Mona 2One aspect of the Gigi that I wish had been changed is the control button “wheel”. I used to think that it was elegant and refined. At first, I didn’t like the changes to the buttons when they came out with the Mona and Ina. But now that I’ve grown accustomed to the buttons of those, the old-style wheel on the Gigi 2, Elise 2, and Liv 2 is a little bit wonky. You may not ever notice it; it’s all in how you hold it and how your thumb or finger hits the buttons. Too often I found myself apparently hitting the wheel in the middle of two directions first, rather than hitting a direction head-on. This lead to nothing happening. In fact, I thought my Lelo Gigi 2 was defective at first, but it’s not.

Gigi 2 is, and always has been, one of the more petite Lelo toys. It is shorter in overall length, shorter in insertable length, and less girthy.  Not that the Mona 21 is really girthy, but it has some substance to it. But Gigi 2 has that flat head which I’ve always preferred in design over the Mona for external use. Sadly, though, the power boost that the Gigi received, while it certainly appears to be double the power that it once was, wasn’t enough to bring it up on par with Mona 2/Ina 2 levels. Mona 2 is noticeably more powerful than the Gigi 2.  I was able to, eventually, orgasm with the Gigi 2 being used externally but it was not nearly powerful enough for me to use internally. I like the shape, but for internal use of that shape I’d rather use the Picobong Moka as it has just a bit more girth and the necessary added length that I need. Plus, I feel that the Moka’s side-positioned buttons are in a better location than the control wheel of the Gigi.

Vibrations. The folks at Toolshed thought that the original Gigi’s vibrations were about on par with the Picobong Moka. Yet I mentioned that the Moka seemed to be about equal to the original Mona in vibrations (I didn’t have the original Gigi anymore). What’s weird, then, is that the Gigi 2 is barely stronger than my Moka.  There is a much bigger difference in vibrations between Gigi 2 and Mona 2.

Picobong Mola, Lelo Gigi 2, Lelo Mona 2When I first opened the box, Gigi 2 was of course already charged up. I ramped up the power to the highest level – as you do – and immediately thought “Wait, is that it?”. I was expecting it to be more like Mona 2. I thought “Maybe it wasn’t fully charged?” and so I charged it, and tried again. Same let down.  But I did what I tend to do now to get a fresh perspective other than my jaded been-at-this-5-years view – I handed it to a friend who is very new to sex toys. With no preface I brought out both the Mona 2 and Gigi 2. They turned on the Gigi 2 and were impressed  – until we then turned on the Mona 2 and their response was “Yeahhhhh that’s more like it!!”. I’ve corrupted them, you see. Those battery-pack bullets are the gateway drug of sex toys and was the perfect choice to start them out with. And even as a newbie, they felt that the buttons on Mona were a lot more intuitive and easy as compared to the singular rocker-wheel of the Gigi 2.

So as with all of the newer Lelo toys, Gigi 2 is fully waterproof. As always, it is rechargeable, the buttons lock for travel, there is an included satin drawstring pouch, and the 1 year Lelo warranty.  While the upgrade was needed, I wish it had been a bit “more”. It took me forever to write this review because I’m so “meh” about the Gigi 2. It’s….nice. It’s nothing special, to me. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it. I will never use it; I have vibrators I greatly prefer. I can see how many people do love the shape and style of it, and I’ll recommend it to certain people, but it’s just not AMAZING.

Who would love the Gigi 2:

  • Those who prefer smaller, less-girthy insertables
  • Those who don’t need powerhouse vibrators
  • Those who are fine with shorter insertable vibrators

  You can get the Lelo Gigi 2 directly from Lelo, or from your favorite retailer such as!


I was provided a Gigi 2 from Lelo in exchange for an honest review.

  1. Despite giving away a Mona 2, I’ve managed to not yet get around to actually reviewing the Mona 2. I do like it fairly well, and would recommend it, obviously
Oct 072013

splitdildofuntoysgvibeMonths ago I reviewed the G-Vibe, a split vibrator that reminded folks of the aptly named (both for the obvious, and for how divided the fan base was) Split Dildo. I had read a number of reviews that stated that the Split Dildo was actually painful to use, so I was surprised by how boring and subtle the Funtoys G-Vibe was to use. Recently a Split Dildo became available on ToySwap and I grabbed it up for no other purpose than this comparison review. Dedicated, I am.

While the Split Dildo is noticeably fatter than the G-Vibe, the biggest different is in the pliability of the silicone and the pressure  aspect – by that I mean the amount of pressure it takes to keep the closed ears split and therefore the amount of pressure they will exert as they try to fall back into their natural state. It took me awhile to figure out how best to show you the difference. What I did with the scale is try to exert enough pressure on one half of the split to make it “straighten”, like you would do if it was inside of you. While the Split Dildo is fatter, and therefore heavier (it weighs slightly more than the G-Vibe which is longer and has a motor), the difference in grams required to achieve the same result is drastic enough to matter.

It almost seems like Funtoys directly modeled the G-Vibe from the Split Dildo. I say that only because the angle and length of the split seems to be identical. Just the Split is much fatter. Split is also the type of silicone that easily hangs on to dirt, lint, fur etc. It doesn’t glide easily along dry skin like the G-Vibe does….it is more like the “treated” silicone that Lelo uses, applying a finish that makes it silky smooth with no drag. The Split Dildo does have some drag, and would require lube by most. The thing that is the most infuriating about the Split Dildo is the lack of a handled base. This is not friendly for people with mobility/flexibility issues, and not “fat friendly”, either.


I just learned that the infuriating creator of the Split Dildo thinks that only “women who have birthed a child” can like the Split, that the rest of us poor souls have too-tight vaginas. Reading this on Epiphora’s site pissed me off so bad.  Here’s the funny thing. When the Split dildo was actually, finally, properly in place, I wasn’t writhing in pain. In fact, the pressure on my g-spot felt good BUT the pressure against the rectal wall was not good. It was not good at all.  I felt like I was in a race for orgasm and pooping. The orgasm wasn’t due to the Split Dildo; it was helping, as does any toy that puts pressure on my g-spot, but this was not a fun time. At all.

Trying to get the Split Dildo in was harder than trying to get a pair of Spanx on. I prefer thicker dildos, so the problem wasn’t the girth.  It was that I couldn’t hold the tips together /and/ slide the Split in, tampon-like, so there was a moment where the Split felt like it was tearing my perineum because it wasn’t fully inside of me. It was scary, and terribly painful. Screamingly painful.  Overall, I’d only recommend the Split Dildo for those using it with a partner or those who are flexible enough to keep the tips together until it is completely inserted. Actually, I’d go back to just recommending using it with a partner. Because mild thrusting is necessary to get any sort of rubbing on the g-spot, and if you manage to let the Split get too far outside of you, you’re in danger of serious pain coming your way.

So if you owned the Split Dildo and hated it, you should not run in fear of the G-Vibe. That’s not to say that I’d recommend it….I still won’t. I just am saying that the G-Vibe won’t cause pain the way the Split Dildo did for some. If you owned the Split Dildo and loved it? You will be vastly underwhelmed by the G-Vibe. The vibrations are piddly enough that they do not make up for the lack of pressure exerted on the G-Spot and Perineal Sponge.

Actually, I’m just going to recommend against either toy. If we’re gonna go with analogies, think back to Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The Split is Too Hot, the G-Vibe is Too Cold. There is no “just right” middle option. Since I received the Split dildo through my own network, I’m not sure where to tell you to buy it, should I have managed to not fully dissuade you. No one really wants to stock this thing, so I guess you’d have to buy it from the manufacturer.

Jul 192013

tumblr_mdw5to4Dbp1rl4iulo1_500For those into all things Japanese, the correlation between the Japanese rice ball treat Mochi and the Tenga Iroha line is not lost. The names of the three vibrators, yuki and sakura mostly, are used in describing kinds of mochi too (as well as being words for other things). Traditionally, daifuku mochi comes in white, pale pink, or pale green just like the Iroha vibes. Professionally-made mochi tends to have a perfectly soft-looking, unblemished exterior, especially mochi ice cream. The Iroha vibes were described minimally at first, with a photo showing their powdery-soft looking seamless finish and boasting a bizarre plushness factor. Cue delighted squeals of interest.

MATERIAL  Naturally, sex toy reviewers go nuts for anything new and different. We hope for something awesome and want to tell the world all about this grand new sex toy that we love. I’m no different, and really wanted to try one; mainly because I’d purchased a few Tenga items for my husband over the years, all met with varying degrees of success. Tenga’s material,SquishMidori be it the white material they used for the 3D models or the clear material used for the Flipholes, felt unique and weird and neat and awesome. It wasn’t silicone, but it wasn’t toxic, either. The Iroha vibes are covered in a skin of silicone, underneath which is a layer of squishy something (actually it’s “polyurethane elastomer, so says Zoe Hanis who grilled her Iroha rep – it also fully explains the odor), underneath that is the hard plastic of the vibrator. On the underside is a hard plastic disk with two metal buttons.  The silicone skin can be “plucked” at, it’s not glued to the squishy underlayer so I keep playing with it (in ways not intended). It reminds me of the skin formed on cooked pudding, oddly enough. The skin is also a silicone type that is cured differently than we’re accustomed to – the shiny, lint & fur attracting silicone wouldn’t work here, so Tenga is using a silky, powdery sort of matte-finish silicone. Combine the pliant aspect of the skin with the silky matte finish, and the plushy layer under it, and the whole vibrator feels very soft and pillowy at first. You don’t have to press in very much though before you can feel the hard inner portion – oddly, it’s more plush in the body than the tip.


It’s pretty cute, right? Odd, yet discreet I suppose. Although if anyone were to see it they would want to touch it and pick it up.

IT STINKS  Now, granted, my Midori sat in a delivery truck probably for 7 hours on a day where it was 96 degrees ambient temp (so likely well above 115 in the truck) but when I opened the package and took out my Midori vibe I was hit with a very strong odor that smelled exactly like latex wall paint. That was troubling – and nauseating and headache-inducing1. Especially when someone else tells me that theirs arrived stinky back in February, and Iroha claimed to have addressed the issue. The smell has faded so that it’s barely noticeable now to me unless I sniff it close up, but I do notice that it will pick up my natural scent after use, until I wash it clean.  Since the manufacturers admitted that the odor is due to the polyurethane-elastomer layer, unless they change that material, I don’t understand how they could have “addressed the issue” as they told GrittyWoman.

SHAPE  Midori seemed to be the most practical, to me. Sakura, with the weird, Pacman-esque pincher bit doesn’t seem like it would really work for me personally. The Yuki, claiming that a portion is insertable, doesn’t seem big enough to be worth anything when you insert the tiny portion, unless you’re doing anal stimulation. Midori has somewhat pinpoint vibrations in the smaller head. However due to the material, the vibrations are muffled and spread out a little bit more. Those with very plump, fleshy labia and a smaller clitoris, or those who like firm pressure, aren’t going to get much from any of the Tenga Iroha vibes, I think. They’re more for those who want a vibrator that is not as buzzy, but who don’t like pressure and don’t like hard materials. The only way that I might possibly change my mind on the practicality of the shapes would be if Yuki actually had more intense power than Midori but so far I’ve not seen any evidence of that. 

VIBRATIONS  There are 3 speeds and 1 pattern; 2 buttons, + and -. +, when held, turns it on. You can then use either + or – to circle through the settings. Hold the – to turn it off. The buttons are thankfully easy to use, but the button panel is indented just enough that combined with the locations of the buttons you won’t find yourself changing it without meaning to. On the highest speed, I’d say that the power level is fairly equal to the We-Vibe Salsa/Tango on level 2 of 4. The vibrations would be considered rumbly by most, certainly not the dreaded surface-buzzy, but the vibrations lack the oomph needed to really wow me. You’ll get a little bit more strength by pressing the tip of Midori against your skin firmly, to bypass the squish layer, but doesn’t that defeat the presumed-purpose of the vibrator being soft & pillowy to begin with? One thing I will note is that pressing on the vibrator or holding it firmly does absolutely nothing to dampen the vibrations, which is good. The Je Joue Mimi suffered terribly from that affliction, as well as the We-Vibe Touch and, to some slight degree the We-Vibe Salsa & Tango, too.  Since the entire vibe is so small, you’re bound to feel the vibrations in your fingers and hand as you hold it.

CHARGING & STORAGE  The Iroha vibes charge magnetically, by sitting on the black charging platform. This is probably the only magnetic-charging system thing that I’ve not hated. All other sex toys that use this method have a little “fob” that pops off so easily, held on by the weakest of magnetic force fields. You can plug it in USB to your computer, or use the included wall adaptor and plug that into the wall. There is a white LED light on the front of the base that glows while it is charging and shuts off when it is done. The charging base will double as storage; a clear acrylic lid is included – however, this isn’t the most discreet of storage options.  You could then put the charging base & cover back inside the box it came in, too, that would make it more discreet. I was able to fit (but it required finagling) the charging cable inside the acrylic box but could not fit the wall charger. For me when it comes to storage, I prefer to be able to keep everything all together.

MidoriCharger MidoriInBox

CAUTION  First, the Iroha vibes are not waterproof. This doesn’t affect cleaning because the vibes are “splash-proof”, so you can hold it under running water long enough to clean it. You cannot, however, use the toy in the bath or shower. The overall design is seamless, except that the plastic disc surrounding the buttons creates a seam where dirt and fluids could easily get trapped. I have seen many vibrators where the silicone skin goes over the buttons, allowing for a more seamless, waterproof design. Not sure why Tenga didn’t go that route. Another area of caution goes back to how the vibe is made – a plush elastomer material under a silicone skin. While the silicone skin is likely tough, I’d have to wonder how easily it could get punctured. A silicone skin that is firmly against a hard underlayer wouldn’t have this issue, but I could see how a sharp object might get pressed against this in storage and possibly puncture the skin.

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Pros: Interesting material construction, small and discreet, unique, 2 charging options
Cons: Odor, not waterproof, only moderately powerful, could be hard to clean thoroughly
Who would love it: Those who like form over perfect-function; those who do not require strong vibrations; those who do not like hard materials; those who need something a little easier to grip than a tiny2 or oddly-shaped vibrator3. If you’re intrigued, also do consider the Yuki – while I cannot fathom using it internally, externally it could be great for delivering pinpoint vibrations. Also, cute Xmas gift?
Who should avoid it: Those who need stronger vibrations; those who do not like vibrators that vibrate your hand too much; those looking for the most bang for their buck – at $90 it is a little overpriced for what it offers. Instead, go for the We-Vibe Tango.

All in all, it just didn’t wow me…..but I’m notoriously hard to please. If you saw this thing in person you would no doubt want to pick it up and then you would quite likely spend a while just petting it and squishing it. Everything about it, from the charging base that doubles as storage to the material, shape and color is pretty damn unique and overall I’m satisfied with the quality. Some will be awfully tempted to Pokemon it up and “collect them all”. However, I expect a vibrator to really knock my socks off in all categories to warrant a price tag of $90, so that’s why I’m lukewarm on this. I think that the shapes are just not perfect enough for me, and the vibrations are not quite strong enough for me. I do think, though, that many who don’t require the power of the We-Vibe Tango will quite like this adorable little vibe. If I loved the vibrations, then I can see it being worth the price tag.

UPDATE: I wanted to show you that not everyone agrees with me. In fact, here’s the opinion of one reviewer who prefers the Midori to her Salsa!  Navigator sums it up really well as to why it works for them, and this might help you figure out that even though it didn’t work for me, it might work for you:

I read a review a while back that described the orgasm this toy brings about as “comfortable”, and I think that’s a pretty accurate adjective. This is a comfortable toy, rather than an intense toy like the Hitachi or the Wahl, or an insistent toy like the Salsa or the Eroscillator. (You know, the toys that take your attention away from whatever else you might have going on and insist you focus on them.) It makes me feel downright sweet. I’m twitterpated over a sex toy.

But the best thing, my friends, is the squishiness between the silicone skin and the motor underneath. I thought initially this would dampen the vibrations, especially if the motor was in the body of the toy, so I’d be fruitlessly pressing it against my skin wondering where the vibrations were. Thing is, I press vibrators against my clit like a fiend anyway, but the squish prevents me from having a case of Bruised Clit the next morning (I’m looking askance at my Mia and Salsa as I type this). That, and the motor is located very solidly in the little nub at the tip of the Midori, so they’re nice and focused.

Thanks to for sending me this to review!

  1. that usually signals VOCs for me but I am notoriously sensitive to those
  2. Some people find that the slender We-Vibe Tango is just too small, that it gives hand cramps if held too long
  3. The i-Gino One is a perfect example of that
Jul 122013

JopenEnvyOneThreeIf you know that I love my powerful vibrators, then you know that only a few vibrators have been powerful enough internally to knock my socks off. One of those happens to be the Jopen VR6 – it’s not tops as a dual-stimulator because the clitoral arm doesn’t hit me perfect nor is the clitoral arm powerful enough for me, but the internal power makes up for it. So I waited impatiently for the Jopen Envy line to come out, since Jopen was calling it the most powerful, rechargeable vibrator in the world1. I had my doubts, of course, because hello it’s me and I’m jaded now but I tried to have hope.

Unlike the entire rest of the Vanity VR line, the VR6 is the only one with the deep, rumbly powerful vibrations I love.  While the entire line of Vanity and Envy is “Powered by Powerbullet“, it used to be outright stated on that Powerbullet site that the VR6 was the most powerful of all, along with 1 other vibe.  So the mere thought that I could get a regular ole non-rabbit vibe with the power that made my toes curl sent me into fits while waiting on the release.

I was slightly disappointed when I saw that the initial Jopen Envy line was merely 3 differently sized, boring straight vibrators. But hope sprang eternal because it may not matter if the power is enough!

It matters.

It really, fucking matters, to me.

I….HAVE….THE POWER!!! Or not.

First, while I can’t speak for the Two, I can tell you that the One is a major disappointment. It arrived fully charged but I hoped that it wasn’t, so I plugged it in to charge more. I turned it to the top speed and actually said out loud “That’s it?!?”. You see I’d already become acquainted with the power that is Three – and it is fairly impressive. SheVibe sent me the Envy One and I snagged Three with points from…somewhere else. The One that Shevibe sent arrived dead on arrival, my first ever. I used the Three a few times while waiting on the DOA issue to get sorted out. When I finally received a working One direct from Jopen, the difference in vibration power and depth compared to the Three was enormous. I fully expected all three vibrators to have the same motor.  The Jopen Envy One has nothing on the We-Vibe Tango.  The Envy One suffers greatly from “dampened vibrations”2 when it meets with any resistance, resistance being “surrounded by flesh” and not even just pressure. I could lightly wrap part of my hand around the Envy One and the vibrations would immediately dampen by at least half, in both intensity and depth. When nestled in between my labia, I could barely feel anything. That is NOT the marker of the “most powerful rechargeable vibrator in the world”. I would say that if you do not touch the Envy One, if you just barely hold it in your fingertips up at the top by the controls, then the top level of vibrations is about as powerful as level 3 (of 4) on the We-Vibe Salsa. It’s rumbly, but not quite as rumbly as the Tango (or Salsa, RIP).

JopenVR6vsEnvy3 JopenEnvyvsWeVibeTangoLeloMia

While the Envy Three is actually just about as powerful as the internal arm on my Vanity VR6, it still manages to fall short. First as an internal vibrator, it is hella boring to me. I know that not all people like the curved design, so not all will agree with me. One reason why I loved the VR6 so much was that it combined a bit of girth with a wonderful curve and perfect vibrations. The VR6 measured at 1.6″ at the widest, while the Envy Three is barely 1.1″, despite all literature claiming it to be 1.5″. I thought that perhaps it would still make an excellent external vibe, but somehow it doesn’t. Somehow, these vibrations that feel so powerful in my hand have been unable to get me off as well as the We-Vibe Tango. I think that part of the issue is that the motor on the Three overheats and while the heat isn’t painful, it’s distracting.  It is indeed rumbly and deep, and suffers less from “dampened vibrations” compared to the One.

I didn’t bother to try the Two, since I figured that most people would go for One or Three. Envy Two is the same width as Envy One, but a little longer. Also according to literature, the Envy One is supposed to measure in at 1.25″ wide; mine is not even quite an inch, it’s more like 0.9″. It’s still a lot bigger than the We-Vibe Tango, though.

A note on the sizing: A rep from Jopen told me “As far as the width on the product, I’m not sure where you are measuring but I was told the product width is measured from the base of the unit, the widest part ,since the product tappers down toward the tip.”  I measured in the center of the vibe. Not the tip, not the flare.

I replied: “As for the measurement…….for an insertable product it is standard to measure at the widest *insertable* point. Since the flare doesn’t start until close to the base, that would mean that a woman would have to fully insert the vibrator like a tampon to realize that proclaimed width – With the Envy Two or Three, that would be a bit impossible not to mention highly unlikely. There is a large difference in interest between a straight vibrator that is 1.1″ wide and 1.5″ wide. I still really feel like these measurements are misleading.”

I’m still confused on that one. So basically…..none of the width measurements are to be trusted from them if you want something logical.

The Envy Line Has More Issues Than…..

As I mentioned, I received the Three and the One from two different places. My Three was getting quite hot, and a rep from Jopen confirmed that that was not normal. My logic says that a motor that gets very hot is a motor that would burn out in a much shorter time than normal. And then my One arrived dead. When I plugged it in, thinking that it wasn’t charged, the charging light blinked rapidly. It never did work. Again, Jopen told me to submit it for a warranty return. So I was instructed at first to register my vibes with their warranty program and proceed with doing a warranty return3. I held off on that, since the site said that a return would be sent out a few weeks after receiving my defective unit, and I really wanted to be able to directly compare the Three and the One; was sending me a brand new Envy One so that the review could get underway. Then I received my second Envy One from Shevibe4….and it was DOA, too! At this point I went back to Jopen and updated them, and they wanted to send me a replacement One and Three from their warehouse, without waiting on me to first return the defectives5. They arrived just fine, but I must point out that the packaging direct from Jopen is not at ALL discreet. I’m lucky that it didn’t matter to me, but it very well could matter to others. Is this how it would arrive if you did a warranty replacement? I’m not sure. Anyways, with a brand new (and tested by Jopen before it was sent to me) One and Three, I proceeded to get on the review finally. Disappointment on the power of One aside, I kept at it. And I found that the overheating issue was not solved. This time both the One and the Three were overheating at right around 15 minutes of use. While the temp gun did show temps in excess of the 109 shown below, I didn’t catch an in-focus photo of the temp gun and just didn’t feel like letting it get to that point again.

JopenEnvyHeatDamage JopenEnvytemp box

One other issue that I’m not certain is a true issue, but is weird nonetheless, is something that happened during a flame test. I didn’t really suspect that these were anything other than pure silicone, but I wanted to run the test anyways. I’m glad I did! In the spot where I applied flame, I had no signs of it being anything other than flame-resistant silicone, however the coloring looks….bleached. Literally, like my hair-dying shirt. The pink turned to a pale orange. I ran to my VR6 and tried it, and had similar results. What does this mean? No fucking idea. But I’m going to mention it nonetheless.

From the Jopen rep: “We have our quality control department looking into all issues regarding the batteries and now the motors heating up.”

Other Details

They’re waterproof. They come with a USB charger (If you have a Vanity? Same charging jack, just USB instead of wall). If you want wall charging you’ll have to snag a USB-to-Wall adapter from another toy, though. They’re mostly seamless, and really easy to clean. Only two buttons which are also encased in silicone. Like the Vanity vibes, to increase the power you have to press and hold the button. It’ll blink while you’re increasing and will stay steady once you’ve hit the top speed (it stays steady when you’ve settled on a speed, too). You can only increase, not decrease. The”State-of-the-art memory chip resumes last function used” feature is nice, but it only applies to the function i.e. pattern, not the vibration level. There are 7 “functions” (patterns), but once you’re on the Function side, you have to shut the vibrator off to get back to just straight vibrations….and then do the ramp-up to your preferred speed all over again – this took me a bit to figure out, as it’s not spelled out exactly and I got very frustrated.  They do lock for travel, though.  The silicone is mostly dust/lint-proof, but not entirely. It is a very slightly textured matte finish, it’s not quite as powdery soft as the Jopen Key line.  It completely charges in about 3 hours, but you’ll only get 45 minutes on the highest setting. Just like the Vanity line, the Envy line is only one color. At least the Vanity line was a nice purple that I didn’t hate, but the Envy line is this bizarre, dusty-rose-purplish color. If I put the Intensity, VR6 and Envy all next to each other, the colors all coordinate well. If you like the whole monochromatic thing. And pink. Purple. Pinple. Purnk. Whatever.

Expanded Envy Line

I’m not sure why they came out with only the “classic” straight styles first, but now I’ve seen on the site that there are more6. A few more tailored to g-spot, and two rabbits. I don’t understand the rabbits….isn’t that what the Vanity VR line is for?? Regardless of my feeling that the power of the Three would best work out for me in a more g-spotting style, I’m not about to recommend or try them.

Final Verdict

Avoid these. The price is astronomical and the “powerful” claim is a letdown, most especially with the One. If you were looking for a bigger, better We-Vibe Tango, forget about it.  The Envy line is still, at it’s heart, a hard plastic vibe covered in a silicone skin. I’ll take my hard plastic vibe that is unhindered by silicone any day, thanks, if it means more power. I just cannot at all recommend the Envy One through Three and I would suggest that you avoid the entire line due to all of the problems. With a price range ( pricing) of $109-$118, I expected a hell of lot more bang for that kind of buck.  With the problems I have had in mind, Shevibe is currently not even selling the Envy One or Three until they can see that the problems are ironed out; but you can still get the Two if you insist. 


ETA: The Jopen Envy line did expand, and they did go beyond the straight vibes. The Envy Four and Five look to be a bit more g-spot compatible, while the Six and Seven are, oddly enough, rabbit vibes. Isn’t that what the Vanity line is for??



  1. According to their press release
  2. Similar to the Je Joue Mia, the Leaf Spirit and the We-Vibe Touch
  3. There is also a fee associated with the warranty return; they were going to wave it for me since both of my vibrators were immediately defective but be forewarned
  4. is very good about this; rather than having you deal with the manufacturer for a DOA or immediately defective vibe, they’ll handle the exchange. I find that preferable to dealing with the warranty process at Jopen
  5. Which was nice; I had informed them that I owed reviews on these and that I felt time was of the essence, plus they felt bad that I’d had the bad luck to get 3 bad vibes in a row
  6. These are due out in August