Jan 042009

In my quest for a good away-from-home (read: work) vibe, I asked to review the Discretion Bullet from VibeReview. Unfortunately, I was disappointed by it. The premise is that when closed up, it resembles a makeup compact. Well……it -might-, if it weren’t for the logo and toy name on the front of it!! The description boasts that it has a mirror, like you could actually use it. Well, you can’t. It’s no better than a Barbie Dream House mirror. Sure it reflects but its marred and blurry. Oh well. Not the point.

Again, here is where BadBadGirl is going to call me a toy snob (I’m sorry, yes, I am a Fancy Whore). It is with this toy that I finally said “Self, no more toys from California Exotic Novelties. Ever.” They’re sub-par as a whole. The Miracle Wand isn’t bad, but when it’s meant as a rival for Hitachi, it falls short in the “Moar Powar!!” category. Everything about this toy is cheaply made. With any real use, I see that little “arm” there that winds the cord back into the case breaking off real quick. See the lil peanut-bullet there up top? Well that comes out, you pull on it and the cord extends, supposedly 36″ but I was lucky if I was able to yank out 24″.


There are 2 settings of power on the toy. It’s decent, but it never got me off.  Honestly I have to wonder about the other people who’ve submitted their short review on the site…..they all loved it! Really truly think it’s the shit! If you want discretion, get Lelo’s Mia. If you want a bullet vibe, get the Silver Bullet. If, like me, you intend to “travel” with it, then just get a small pouch or mini FYN locking case for your handbag!

Dec 132008



UltraReal by Doc Johnson, Courtesy of VibeReview.com

I had such high hopes for this dildo. I’ve never owned a suction cup dildo and I was quite excited for all the things that I could do with it. When I requested it, the site didn’t list the material – which is rubber. Had I known that, I wouldn’t have wanted to review it. I can hear BBG calling me a toy snob as we speak ;) There’s good reason why I can’t stand rubber toys.

Continue reading »

Nov 222008

The LELO Gigi will make my third LELO product, and the first one granted by VibeReview.

There are a lot of similarities to other internal LELO vibes – the fact that it recharges. Comes in a nice sturdy black box. Has multiple levels of vibrations and pulsation patterns, and all accessible on the same type of “wheel” pad as the other internal LELO vibes. Made from silicone and hard plastic, both easy to clean and sterilize. That’s where it ends though if you want to compare Gigi versus Elise.

Gigi is….pretty. And petite. In fact Gigi is a lot more petite than I expected. Elise is dark and hefty. Now don’t be fooled by that photo up there – it’s not really a babygirl shiny pink. More like….a matte dusty rose. Mia? Mia’s a shiny girly pink. I’m trying to decide if Gigi’s vibes are indeed stronger than Elise. They’re a bit different and seem to be a touch more intense.

Elise has two vibration points – the tip and the middle. Gigi, being smaller, only has one at the tip. But Gigi is, I think, just as strong as Elise when both vibration points are on. It’s hard to explain, not knowing the exact technical details, but Elise seems to vibrate a few pitches higher than Gigi. Gigi has the blunt end which is meant for better G-spot stimulation. Elise I think is meant more for fucking, for penetration, or perhaps more skilled G-spot accessers, lol.

Gigi would also make a good clit vibrator because of the flat end, versus Elise.

My only issue with these LELO vibes is the placement of the buttons. For me, personally, the way I hold it I keep accidentally hitting the buttons.

Should you own both if you can? I would. Personally Gigi is too petite for me to use and like as a thrusting/fucking vibrator, and Elise is too pin-pointed to be a specific G-spot or clit stimulator. Their purposes won’t really overlap for you, they’re pretty darn different!

Nov 042008



In this photo is every toy I own, minus the leather restraints. Back before I officially put up my first review, I took a photo of my collection. My how it has changed. I’ve only kept two of the (older) pictured toys, and prior to that photo I had thrown out quite a few. So in the above photo, only 2 of the 17 are ones I already owned and have proven to need a spot in my collection still.

1. Miracle Massager and attachment via VibeReview (review). I still use this one, but rarely do I use it on myself. Only at times when the Hitachi is failing me because it’s become too much. It is frequently used though on my partner – as a back massager and sometimes a fellatio companion.

2. Hitachi Magic Wand via Vibereview (review). This is used frequently and is in my top 3 for vibrators.

3. NJoy Pure Wand via Babeland (review). My newest addition, but it shot up to the top of the pack. As obvious by my review, I cannot say enough good things about it.

4. We-Vibe via VibeReview (review). I don’t use it much for it’s intended purpose, but it is nice once in a while. I use it more as a ummm…mobile teaser ;)

5. Vinyl Vengeance Dildo via EdenFantasys (review). This review wasn’t published on here, I was only allowed to put it on the EdenFantasys site. It’s the only seriously big dildo that I own, at 2″ wide. I don’t use it every time, but I do when I want the very full feeling. Despite the fact that I don’t love the material (Silagel, it has an odor), it’s used often. This is the only item EdenFantasys gave me to review, and it will likely stay that way. While their site is great, very informative and has a feature where you can view the product at life-size, they haven’t been very good to work with. I was promised the ability to review off-site, and that fell through – I later learned via AAG’s blog what happened with the site. Because of their treatment of her, their renegging on helping out the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar and, most importantly, their renegging on Butterfly’s Life.Love.Cancer deal….I can’t say that I’ll do anything to support them. So yeah. great dildo….but not so great company to affiliate with, methinks.

6.  This is the very first clit vibe I bought, it’s one of many versions of the Pocket Rocket, but this one is quite a bit stronger than most others I’ve tried. When all else fails or I need a quick O, I tend to grab this one still.

7. Silver Bullet via VibeReview (review). Even though I said great things about it in my original review, I had mentioned that I wished it were stronger. You know what? I don’t anymore. I LOVE this bullet vibe. It is literally with me every single day at work “just in case”. It’s the perfect size for me to use it hands free while at work (for the most part, until I need to press it to that particular tiny sweet spot in order to come); it nestles just right between my lips. While my panties and pants help hold it in place, a slight rocking of my pelvis while seated provides the absolute perfect stimulation. I can’t praise it enough, and I think I’ll be hard pressed to find one better.

8. Layaspot via Babeland’s Eco Sexy Kit (review). It’s a nice shape, and I wish it were a bit stronger, but it gets me off eventually. Because of the shape (laying against my mound and being somewhat unobtrusive) I used it recently with the Pure Wand.

9. Elise via LELO (review). While I haven’t been reaching for this one as much as I would like to, that’s been because I have been using a dildo of larger proportions instead. But when I want something for internal fucking, that vibrates, this is it!

10. Pleasure Tops via Babeland (review). It has a special purpose – when I feel like fucking something stationary, I go for this one. Such wonderful hands-free action when I’m sitting at my desk at home.

11. Japanese G-spot Squirmy via VibeReview (review). I can’t say anything more about it than I did in my review – I don’t reach for it much simply because I have other toys now that best it. Doesn’t mean I like it less, I just like others better.

12. Hardwood Dildo via Hardwood Dildos by Hans (review). I still love it. I still use it when I want a dildo that won’t get pushed out during orgasm, something that I don’t move, I just contract my PC muscles around it during masturbation. It’s short, it’s more portable than other large ones I own.

13. Feeldoe – this is one I’ve owned for awhile but I don’t use. I’ll keep it, as it’s the only one I have that is like a double-dildo for fucking someone else with.

14. Mia via LELO (review). It’s not in my top 3 for clit vibes, because I need it to be stronger. However, it comes with me when I’m traveling to places where I want something quiet and small. This and the Hardwood Dildo are my current travel set.

15. Sunflower G-spot via VibeReview (review). I don’t reach for it anymore. I now have ones that I like better, it’s as simple as that. But to be fair, the ones I like better are also 3 times the cost.

16. Venus Penis 2 via VibeReview (review). I still hate it. I don’t know why I still had it in my toy drawer, but it’s getting tossed out today.

17. Slimline G Twin via VibeReview (review). Same as above, I still hate it and don’t know why I kept it. It’s going buhbye as well.


You know what I just realized? The premium toys have their own housing, lol. Be it satin or velvet bags, box or weird case, they all deserve special treatment.

Oct 142008

*sigh* That’s an awful name for it, it’s totally unsexy. Squirmy? Nothing that goes in or near my cunt should be described as “squirmy”, thanks. Oh well. It’s a trade-off. At least it’s not a crab called Craby or any other “animal” themed vibe. Coy Pink and I had a conversation about those two atrocities and more, if you’d like to read our conversation ripping on cutesy animal vibes, go read her post. We’re funny when we get riled up.

It’s a Doc Johnson toy, which means it has the flight-panel-like control box at the bottom, like all of their Rabbit-style vibes. This vibe is made of Phthalate Free material, and Silicone, which is a major reason to choose it above others. My last Rabbit, also from Doc Johnson, was not of such lofty material and therefore had an unpleasant odor.

There’s many differences between this and typical Rabbit vibes – one being that there’s no goddamn annoying “Rabbit” to be seen. Those vibrating ears that came off the clit bullet were just annoying to me. Another difference is that it is thankfully lacking the stupid rotating rows of beads below the surface of the outter “skin” of the vibe. Those beads never did a damn thing for me. Instead this one well….it still rotates but it’s better….because there’s a wide curved tip to it which moves in a small circular motion. The nubs on the clit pad are very soft and provide great clit stimulation.

The control box can be hard to change speeds when you’re using this toy solo. There’s three buttons – one controls the speed of the shaft, one controls the speed of the clit pad and the third? Well it changes the direction of the rotation. Why???? I have no clue. I find it hard to believe that you can achieve a better orgasm just by changing the direction of the rotating head. You can have both the shaft and clit pad running or just one or the other.

It wasn’t powerful enough to get me off in 5 minutes or less, but it provided for a nice long slow climb. As I was riding out my orgasm I found that the rotating shaft massaging my G-spot actually increased the time of my orgasm by a bit.


  • Made of Silicone and other good-for-you materials
  • More intelligent design
  • Choices in vibration speed and location
  • Less expensive than other similar toys, but just as good


  • It’s loud. And the whirring sound of the rotating shaft made me envision a Kitchen Aide down there, mixing up something in my cunt. Really loud.
  • Control panel is hard to do when you’re using it solo

All in all, I do recommend it. It wasn’t “perfect” for me, but I will definitely be using it again.

Sep 292008

It’s rare for me to have a sextoy lately that I don’t like. The companies I have reviewed for generally only carry the better toys. And I’m not the majority here in my view.  If you look at the editorial review, and the handful of other reviews, there are some women who are in love with this toy.

Just not me.

If you are thin and have a sensitive clit, then perhaps you’ll really like this toy.

If you’re not both of those…then you’re going to be disappointed.

If you’re the -opposite- of those….then you’re going to hate it.

I don’t like saying this but…..I hate it.

Why? The cons of the Venus Penis 2:

1. The straps – they’re made out of clear plastic that’s kinda stretchy. Thats uncomfortable and can make you sweaty – skin that doesn’t breathe gets moist. Secondly, the straps are made for thin women. In the waist and around the thighs.

2. Materials – It’s jelly, so not top of the line. Smelled quite a b it.

3. It takes weird batteries. “N” and something else, neither are easy to find.

4. The vibrations are -weak-. Seriously weak. If someone breathing on your clit is pleasurable to you, then you’ll find this toy adequate.

5. The penis portion was barely there. Perhaps I’m a bit of a size queen with my toys, but I thought it was too teeny.

6. The whole design just didn’t fit my cunt, at all.

7. The remote is wonky. It works when it wants to, even at 2 feet.

VibeReview says that this toy is “Clearly an improvement over the respectable Venus Butterfly and Venus Butterfly 2“….which makes me wonder how a butterfly toy could be worse than this one….but I would rather not find out.

You can check out the other butterfly-style vibes at VibeReview for more choices, but I think I’m giving up on that type for awhile.