Feb 052017
 

Satisfyer Pro PenguinThe Satisfyer Pro Penguin is cute, I can’t deny it. It could be considered the most “femme” of all the Satisfyer designs, and it’s also the smallest. As I write the reviews on the Satisfyer models, and see others rate the Pro Penguin favorably, I wonder if I’m perhaps being too picky. And then I realize it’s coming from a place of having tried, and loved, a brand that simply did a much better job all around. Try as I might I cannot erase the comparisons from my brain and judge the Pro Penguin on its own merits, or faults. I’m doing my best, though. For a quick n dirty pro/con list and comparison vs other models, scroll down. For an in-depth (maybe too in-depth?) comparison guide complete with detailed specs chart, visit the Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison Guide (which will be updated to show the new models no later than 2.7.17)

Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison Guide photo

Strange Buttons, Strange Body

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin adds in a useless power button piggybacking on the same silicone button carriage as the intensity button; Satisfyer 1 and Pro Deluxe have a single button, whereas Pro 2 has separate power and intensity buttons and 2 has power as well as two intensity navigation buttons. It makes it hard to figure out where to press with the Pro Penguin when you’re not paying attention. It requires a long, firm button press to turn it off – terrible for when you need to turn the thing off NOW NOW NOW and don’t want to remove it from your vulva while it’s on thereby increasing the noise level. Another small gripe I have is about the body design: all other Satisyfer models, and Womanizer models, have a nozzle head that is basically at a right angle from the handle. With the Satisfyer Pro Penguin, the angle is less severe; meaning that the toy body is angled somewhat more away from your body. At least the power button is on the front side and closer to the end, so it’s not a total game-ruining design. But between the small nozzle head and strange angle I find I have a harder time keeping full contact over my clitoris with the Satisfyer Pro Penguin versus other models that have a big, wide silicone nozzle – the Satisfyer 1, Pro 2, and all Womanizers.

If the motor and nozzle head were more to my liking, I’d recommend the Satisfyer Pro Penguin for folks who prefer to masturbate sitting up; the small body and strange angle actually make it work for those situations. When I’m using the larger items like Womanizer PRO40 or Satisfyer Pro 2 I get the best results if I’m laying down or mostly reclined.

Penguin also has the same, glowing LED button as the Satisfyer 1 and Pro Deluxe, but it doesn’t have that strange, tech-y green glow inside. Maybe you want your sex toys to have that 1980’s glow, I don’t know. There’s also something … interesting to note about the brightly glowing power button on the Penguin – the Penguin is the only model with a button on what I call the “front side” of the body – the side facing your body. If you are a slender person using the Satisfyer Pro Penguin in the dark, well, you may be blinded by the light. Or at least give a really good scare to someone who may walk in on you using the Penguin in the dark, as your face will be lit up from below like you’re telling a scary campfire story about a rogue arm scratching the car roof.

Terrible Nozzle Head

Penguin is small, travel-friendly, and rechargeable but shares a flaw with the Satisfyer Pro Deluxe: a tiny, easy-to-lose and easy-to-displace silicone nozzle head. If you lose the silicone nozzle on these, they will be extremely uncomfortable to use. I know because I tried – well, “tried” indicates I did it on purpose. I didn’t. By the time I slid the Penguin in my pants the silicone nozzle was displaced and I spent 10 minutes wondering why it was so pinchy.  Also: the nozzle opening is square. Why. There’s nothing angular or square about my vulva. Also also: if the nozzle comes off you will need light and two non-slippery hands to get the nozzle back in place. It only fits in correctly one way, like a puzzle piece, but it may take you a few tries to get everything lined up. With the Womanizer heads, or the Satisfyer 1, 2, or Pro 2, it’s a lot easier. I can’t tell you how many times the silicone nozzle head has come off; it’s become my largest gripe about the Pro Penguin.

Satisfyer Pro Penguin and Pro Deluze have very tiny silicone nozzles, shown in the photo each on one of my fingers

Another factor about the short-canal and tiny-nozzle-head thing: you’ll have to clean the inside of the nozzle more often, and it’ll be difficult. When I use the Womanizers, the nozzle head is more than just the external portion. The canal of the nozzle offers protection of the unit meaning I only have had to remove the silicone nozzle and clean that, versus cleaning the entire inside of the thing.

Nozzle head measurements (and measurements of everything else) will be updated in the Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison page. (don’t go there yet, though, I’ll update the table & guide in a day or so)

Satisfyer Pro Penguin Motor

So you want to know how it FEELS, right? All of these nuisances during use and whining about design aside, I still have to tell you about the motor. I’ll be honest, I assumed at first that they would all feel the same. And figuring out how they all feel relative to each other is damn difficult – they feel best when you’re aroused, but then you’re aroused and maybe can’t get to test each one before you’re about to orgasm. For me to really get the best idea of how one compares to another I had to quickly swap them out. This means I either leave them all running at once, next to me on the bed, or deal with my clit’s short-term memory. Since having them all running on low at the same time sounded like a herd of idling motorcycles, I had to nix that idea. Anyways…

I’d say the Pro Penguin compares best with the original Womanizer W100 in terms of intensity. The Satisfyer 2 and Pro 2 are much more intense, and the Satisfyer 1 is a little more intense.

I think I may have cracked a code; I think that the smaller/shorter the nozzle head, the less intense the overall sensations will be. The longer, larger heads give you more “tapping” sensations and discernible pulses of pressure-air whereas the smaller and shorter heads have less oomph and waves. And while the motor of the Pro Penguin is similar in intensity to the Womanizer W100, the addition of a few upper intensity levels surpass the much-loved “thumping” and “tapping” and “waves” sensations and just move straight into something that mimics a buzzy vibrator – pretty much like every other Satisfyer model.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~  

A lot of folks want to know if I’d recommend the much cheaper ($55) Satisfyer Pro Penguin over the Womanizer PRO40 ($99), and I can’t in comparison. It’s cute and small, and many may like it aesthetically over the other Satisfyer models or pretty much any Womanizer. Penguin isn’t the worst you can do, but the flaws I’ve found are deal-breakers for me and I probably won’t ever reach for this one on my own. If I were forced to pick Satisfyers to recommend overall I’d pick the Satisfyer Pro 2 for it’s comfortable head, despite it’s noise and awkward buttons. Then the Satisfyer 2 for the intensity navigation buttons, and finally the Satisfyer 1 for the newbie pick. None of these stack up to the Womanizer PRO40 but as of this writing the PRO40 has been out of stock at nearly every retailer and I’m not sure when it’s coming back.

Stick around, the reviews on Satisfyer products will be coming at you quickly, and then Comparison Guide will also be updated this week!

tl:dr: Yay: Cute, small, rechargeable Meh: Brightly glowing LED button; not as “thuddy” or intense as other models Nay: Crappy button; strange angle of head to body; tiny silicone nozzle that comes loose easily

Better than: Satisfyer Pro Deluxe, Womanizer Deluxe Pro (W500)
Worse than: Womanizer PRO40, Satisyfer Pro 2, Satisfyer 1, Satisfyer 2
On Par with: Womanizer W100

 

Thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Satisfyer Pro Penguin in exchange for my honest review. There are many retailers you can shop with but I recommend Shevibe over them all; they have the best customer service and overall pricing/selection. They’ve been in business for over 10 years and can be relied upon for discreet shipping!

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Dec 012016
 

Womanizer PRO40The Womanizer PRO40 is practically perfect in every way. Until recently, Womanizer remained an overpriced, luxury item. When you get it in your hands it doesn’t feel quite as well-made as some brands. It lacks the pretty, “classic”, refined beauty that has drawn people to Lelo, L’amourose, Je Joue etc. And while $99 for the new Womanizer PRO40 still is considered luxury, out-of-reach pricing to many, it’s a bit more attainable than $219 for the Womanizer Deluxe.  The Womanizer PRO40 is clearly epi24’s answer to the sales lost to the cheaper Satisfyer models.

The Womanizer PRO40 is not overtly feminine, thank god, and is in fact pretty damn plain. Trans or gender-neutral folks can feel a type of dysphoria when they’re forced to use overtly feminine designs, so this isn’t just a concern of color and “ugh, pink again”. While very femme folks may find that even the magenta-and-white PRO40 isn’t pretty/cute enough, I kinda think the design is a happy-medium especially when the superior features exist.

Superior Features

Somehow the Womanizer PRO40 gained a feature (it’s now waterproof, like Satisfyer) AND is priced much less. How is this possible? Well the motor is a little louder; they’ve gone with a cheaper motor that still performs well, but is less refined, I guess.  It may still be more expensive, but the PRO40 has the features that keep me coming back to Womanizer – comfortable nozzle heads, intuitive designs, and better navigation buttons. The PRO40 combines the best of the W100 (body, button placement) with the best of the W500 (extra power for those who need it, and up/down level navigation buttons), adds in waterproofing and takes away cost. I’m happy to have a slightly louder motor in exchange.

The lowest two settings on the Womanizers are subtle and arousing. They feel really good, and aren’t necessarily trying to yank an orgasm out of you. In fact the lower settings on the Womanizers are really great warm-up toys, and can build arousal in me in ways that the Fiera never could. Have I mentioned the buttons? Oh the buttons. You can easily toggle between lower and higher settings. I like to draw things out with the Womanizer (usually) because it feels so nice; so I don’t want to rush, I want to keep edging my orgasm. I can start out at 1 until I find some good porn; increase to 2 when I’m more aroused; tip it up to 3 to get the ball rolling; back down to 2 for a minute to keep things going. Up to 4 to pick up the pace; 3 then 2 then back up to 4 and maybe 5 if I need a boost and want to come. It’s the sex toy version of Monica’s ergoneous zones playlist.  I cannot do that with any Satisfyer model except the Satisfyer 2, which pales in comparison to Womanizer PRO40.

Magical Power Button

Another crucial feature that Womanizer PRO40 has is the power button: I can quickly return to the lowest setting; perfect for just after orgasm. To turn it off you would press and hold the power button, but while it’s on a quick tap will bring you down to level 1. Level 1 is tolerably intense in those sensitive moments just after orgasm, but allows me to actually keep going and have multiple orgasms. I can’t do that with the Satisfyer models because I’d have to turn it off completely (and then back on, obviously) to get back down to the “gentle” first setting (not all Satisfyer models have a gentle first setting). The way I use these products, the power button feature on the Womanizer PRO40, and indeed all models, is something I can’t give up.

The Womanizer PRO40 does come with their two nozzle heads, one of which has a slightly bigger opening. All Womanizer nozzle heads fit on snugly and stay put, and are very comfortable against the vulva. I’ve found that the nozzle head preference doesn’t always correlate to clitoris head size, but also to labia size/style.

If you’d like to read more in-depth about my feelings on the Womanizer toys overall, I’ll direct you to my review for the original, W100. Sadly I think it has just recently been discontinued.  If you’re curious about how the Womanizer PRO40 compares to other pressure-wave toys, visit the Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison guide.

Even though the Womanizer Pro 40 is a little louder vs W100 or W500, it’s now my top recommendation over every brand and model of pressure-wave sex toys. This remains even more accurate after trying every Satisfyer model on the market.

 

Thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Womanizer PRO40 in exchange for my honest review. There are many retailers you can shop with but I recommend Shevibe over them all; they have the best customer service and overall pricing/selection. They’ve been in business for over 10 years and can be relied upon for discreet shipping!

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Nov 062016
 

Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison Guide

The Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison Guide

This thing has taken on a life of its own as I polled folks for the comparison info they most wanted to see. This meant that the once-tidy-and-small comparison chart has grown to monster proportions. Below you’ll find a small graphic of the chart; click to see it full-size. If you need to see the text Excel spreadsheet, visually-impaired readers can comment here or contact me and I’ll send it to you. If you’re curious on what some of the measurements mean you can just ask me or see the incredibly bad drawing at the bottom of the post.

The chart provides a large amount of quantifiable data and a few subjective opinions. The brief product overviews below provide more insight into my personal opinions on each item, while the full reviews hold back nothing (naturally). A lot of you want to know which product(s) I’d recommend the most and, as usual, my answer starts with “it depends…”.

If you…

  • Have certain mobility issues, flexibility issues, grip issues, or a larger body: Womanizer PRO40 has the best button placement & ergonomic design
  • Are curious about the tech and wonder if it’ll work for you: Satisfyer 1 is cheap enough to test, get you by for a few months & then upgrade if you want
  • Agree that intensity navigation is important but can’t afford the Womanizer PRO40: Satisfyer 2 is your only option
  • Don’t have grip issues, don’t have small hands, and want the best quality: Womanizer Deluxe (W500) is the top pick for many
  • Prefer rechargeables, but can’t afford the PRO40: Satisfyer Pro 2 is slightly better than Satisfyer Pro Penguin in a pro/con list
  • Care about supporting an ethical company: Womanizer PRO40 and Womanizer Deluxe (W500). For more info, read on
  • So far seem to have a definite preference for wands vs pinpoint stim: Buy a Doxy.
  • Like pinpoint stimulation but have a notoriously picky clitoris, and prefer rumbles: Womanizer PRO40. Satisfyers can feel too buzzy!

For quite some time I regarded the Womanizer with a healthy dose of side-eye; I was quite sure that it wouldn’t work for me. I remained skeptical of the many glowing reviews. When you’ve been reviewing sex toys for 8 years, you can often get a really good feel for the facts just by reading a handful of reviews. But the Womanizer shocked me – in fact, it left me speechless. It took me months to write my first Womanizer review because I felt like I couldn’t explain why I liked it or who else might like it (or hate it). I felt that the price of the Womanizer W100 was too much when I couldn’t confidently tell someone they would like it if they like X Y and Z. So for all of my issues with the build quality and company ethics of Satisyfer, I have to appreciate models like the Satisfyer 1 for their sheer affordability.

A Note on Suction: And this applies to every Satisfyer and Womanizer pressure-wave toy on the market: These seem to have very little actual suction. Suction can be great for bringing in extra blood flow to the genitals, and there are vulva/clitoral pumps for that purpose (or that awful pre-arousal thing, Fiera) – so I don’t want folks expecting any appreciable suction with these toys. I’ve been told by Womanizer there is no vacuum/suction, instead, the technology is “pressurized air pulses”. Yes, despite what parts of their site say and many other sites say, I asked and they responded. It may mimic the feeling of suction to a small degree, perhaps. I was able to see this better with these Satisfyer models, as shown in this video. There’s a lil nubbin in there moving rapidly in a small space, creating air pulses that match the nub’s speed. Then I did an informal experiment on a Womanizer toy to show that air is coming out, not being drawn in. It’s confusing, trust me. epi24 (Womanizer) said: “We prefer to call it Pleasure Air Technology”. Well, alrighty then. I’ll see what Satisfyer has to say, if they ever answer me.

A Note On Using These Underwater: While every other test seemed to tell me the same thing Womanizer did – that there’s no vacuum motor – putting these underwater did yield some suction. Mild, but more than regular use which is nearly nothing. I also noticed that if I held the nozzle tip a millimeter or so away from contact – just hovering – the “jackhammering” sensation kicked in and was the most amplified with the Satisfyer Pro 2. It reminded me a lot of the Wahl on high. I ran every model under water for a bit to make sure none were immediately affected adversely (I don’t have a tub, so I can’t use them this way). A few have reported that using the Satisfyer Pro Penguin under water resulted in getting water trapped somewhere in there, so I do worry about their quality (again).

Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison Chart

Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison Chart *

Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison Chart

If you need more details or views on the various silicone heads, please ask.

Image of Womanizer and Satisfyer silicone nozzle heads view 1 Image of Womanizer and Satisfyer silicone nozzle heads view 2

Womanizer Models

While I still feel that the overall cost of the Womanizer Deluxe (W500) is way too high, and I worry that the price point of the Womanizer PRO40 ($99) can’t compete with the Satisfyer range, I feel pretty confident about the build quality of the Womanizer line. Maybe their Deluxe W500 model wasn’t built for someone like me, but their PRO40 definitely was. It’s clear that thought and purpose when into the designs, and as Womanizer has noted – they pioneered this technology.

For those asking: I will review the Womanizer +Size when it comes out. I was originally told it’s not out until April, despite being featured on the site for the last few months.

A note on the 30-day guarantee with Womanizer: Recently on Instagram Womanizer said “orgasms guaranteed” and I had to comment; I asked if their 30-day money-back promise was still in effect and they said “Yes! For the Deluxe and Delight versions!” Uh…wtf is the Delight version? They informed me that the Deluxe is W500, and Delight is W100 (except, it’s been discontinued). They stated there is no guarantee on the PRO40, sadly. There is no mention on the website of this 30-day money-back guarantee. If they give you a hassle, you can show them this screencap from Instagram where they publicly said it’s still a thing.

Womanizer W100

Womanizer W100Definitely discontinued – One thing that the Womanizer W100 has that the others lack is a really nice storage case. Sure, it’s baby-pink and has “Womanizer” emblazoned on it, but it’s really nice to keep the extra head, and charging accessories, all together. The W100 is the quietest model because it lacks the more intense levels. I feel that when the Womanizer W100 is pressed against your vulva, it’s nearly silent. Even when you break contact, it’s not that loud – 62 decibels. The Womanizer W100 has only one button but the power button can be tapped during use to bring you back down to the first intensity level. As of February 2017 update to this guide, no website is carrying the W100 model and it has been discontinued.

Womanizer Deluxe Pro / W500

Womanizer W500One word: Awkward – For as much as I loved the Womanizer W100, I thought I’d love the Deluxe W500 even more. Sure, it introduced the necessary plus and minus buttons to easily navigate the increased levels, but the power button was harder to press. The buttons are now located on the back side of the body, facing away from you, and are located in a place that is very awkward for me during use. The short, fat stature also makes it harder for me to hold. The designs of the Womanizer W500 are a little more classy, but still very femme with the exception White Chrome design – but even that has a Swarovski crystal “element” as the power button. The W500 is priced way, way too high at $219. It’s absolutely ridiculous and I can’t recommend this model with the other choices available. The W500 comes in the aforementioned White Chrome; Black Leopard, Red Roses, and Magenta Lace. The Womanizer Deluxe also comes with an XL head; the measurements aren’t in the chart because it’s complicated. While most nozzles have some extra width where the silicone touches your body, the canal of the nozzles are pretty straight. The Womanizer’s XL head is decidedly more funnel-shaped, so when I measured the interior, I put the calipers about 2mm down inside the “funnel” since I think part of the interior is going to touch flesh. The exterior ridge is 22 x 24.5 mm, and the interior is 18.6 x 19.9 mm.

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at Shevibe
—> View/Download User Manual

Womanizer PRO40

Womanizer PRO40Practically Perfect – Until this model, Womanizer remained an overpriced, luxury item. And while $99 for the new Womanizer PRO40 still is considered luxury, out-of-reach pricing to many, it’s a bit more attainable than the price of other Womanizer models. The Womanizer PRO40 came out in response to the much cheaper Satisfyer knock-offs – and unlike the W100 or W500, the more affordable Womanizer PRO40 is waterproof, with a plain design that is a welcome change. It may still be more expensive than any Satisfyer, but the PRO40 has the features that keep me coming back to the Womanizer brand – comfortable nozzle heads, intuitive designs, and better navigation buttons. The PRO40 combines the best of the W100 (body, button placement) with the best of the W500 (extra power for those who need it, and up/down level navigation buttons), adds in waterproofing and takes away cost. I’m happy to have a slightly louder motor in exchange. The Womanizer PRO40 also comes with an XL head; the measurements aren’t in the chart because it’s complicated. While most nozzles have some extra width where the silicone touches your body, the canal of the nozzles are pretty straight. The Womanizer’s XL head is decidedly more funnel-shaped, so when I measured the interior, I put the calipers about 2mm down inside the “funnel” since I think part of the interior is going to touch flesh. The exterior ridge is 22 x 24.5 mm, and the interior is 18.6 x 19.9 mm. 

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at Shevibe
—> View/Download User Manual

Even though the Womanizer Pro 40 is a little louder vs W100 or W500, it’s now my top recommendation over every brand and model. As of Feb 2017 update, PRO40 has been out of stock at retailers without a known restock date. I’ll update when I hear more.

Satisfyer Models

The lower quality of build is definitely common across all Satisfyer models, and this is something that is honestly only apparent to me because I’ve tried all 3 available Womanizer models. I admit that I felt that many elements of the W100 seemed cheaply done when the price is taken into consideration, but it feels elegant in comparison to most Satisfyer models. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, that I realize I’m pickier than most. And I also want to point out my privilege in not finding the word “Womanizer” triggering, the way many non-binary, genderqueer, and trans folks might. I realize that, for them, my insistence on preferring the Womanizer PRO40 is very frustrating. I know that some sex toy shops won’t even carry the Womanizer because of the name. The part of me that refuses to work with sex toy shops that heavily gender their sex toy listings is incredibly frustrated that I can’t find a Satisfyer product that I like overall half as much as I like that damn Womanizer PRO40. 

On the higher intensity settings, the Satisfyer motors tend to all feel buzzy, like a vibrator. They lose that unique quality of “tapping” or rapid pressure taps that can mimic oral sex in a way. Instead, many become overkill, and feel very uncomfortable for me.

If you forced me to rank the Satisfyer models from best to worst I would be cranky and say: Satisfyer 1, Satisfyer 2, Satisfyer Pro 2, Satisfyer Pro Penguin, Satisfyer Pro Deluxe. Completely subjective, though.

A note on Satisfyer models and the User Manuals: Every user manual seems to be roughty the same when it comes to the warnings, and they all warn you not to get your credit cards too close, etc because of magnets. I don’t understand how there would be magnets in these, except for the few models that charge magnetically. Not all do, though. Strange.

A note on Satisfyer and warranties: Despite not advertising it at all, buried in legalese in their Terms and Conditions is mention of a warranty. I’ve been told that there is a 1 year warranty, and if you need to use that, email info@satisfyer.com. Thanks to Nikki at Fairvilla’s Sex Things for letting me know that they’ve tested that warranty and had a good experience! I don’t know what the parameters are, but you can download a copy of the T&C here, PDF.

Satisfyer Pro 2 – The Old and The New

Satisfyer Pro 2Affordable? Nah, Cheap – Rather than rename the Satisfyer Pro 2, the company made two changes and kept the name and design the same. This means that with most retailers you won’t know which model you’re buying, because they’re priced the same, too. You’d only know to see it in person – the new version has “Satisfyer” in raised lettering along the handle (shown here). Satisfyer boasted that the new Pro 2 was “90% more quiet” than before. Using my amateur decibel meter the difference is 9 points – the loudest rating on the lowest setting is 63dB on the new model vs 72dB on the old – it’s been explained to me by others that this does equal a 90% difference. It’s definitely a noticeable change, yet it is still one of the loudest models on the lower settings. And the high levels? Identical when not pressed against the vulva – when pressed against the vulva, the new Pro 2 is a bit more quiet. One strange quirk: The clicky clacky of the buttons on the Satisfyer Pro 2 is the loudest in the entire bunch. Louder than the motor itself. The Satisfyer Pro 2 comes in one color that is very gender-neutral, even if the packaging isn’t1. The button location isn’t the best for me and my preference but it may not bother you as much.

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at Shevibe
—> View/Download User Manual

Satisfyer 1

Battery-powered and basic, Satisfyer 1 is a decent introduction to pressure-wave toys. If you think you’ll want the Womanizer models but are afraid to drop that much money, try out the Satisfyer 1 for awhile, knowing that upgrading to the Womanizer will only make your experience better. If the Satisfyer 1 doesn’t work at all for you, then I doubt any of these will work. It’s pretty cheaply made, so I actually don’t expect it to stand the test of time. Satisfyer 1 has the most comfortable head of the cheaper Satisfyer models; it is similar to the Pro 2. The single-button design is basic, but the intensity isn’t awful (and is better than the Penguin). It’s not the most powerful Satisfyer, but it’s definitely in the running.

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at Shevibe
—> View/Download User Manual

Satisfyer 2

Battery-powered and confusing. Satisfyer 2 adds in something that no other Satisfyer model boasts: plus and minus up/down navigation buttons, a feature I’ve come to rely on. Unfortunately, the body design of the Satisfyer 2, combined with button placement, makes it unwieldy. It’s also the loudest model now being sold. Some may even say it’s also the ugliest version; the boxy 1970’s-style body reminds you of a straight-stemmed tobacco pipe, or maybe the Nike logo. The batteries rattle around, too. It has more silicone in the nozzle than the Pro Deluxe or Pro Penguin, but less than the Satisfyer 1 or Pro 2. If the noise factor and button location dooesn’t bother you, and you really feel that you, like me, need the extra plus and minus intensity navigation buttons, this is a begrudging green-light to buy this if you can’t yet afford the superior Womanizer PRO40. I will forever curse the button placement on the Satisfyer 2 because it coulda been a contender.

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at Shevibe
—> View/Download User Manual

Satisfyer Pro Penguin

Satisfyer Pro PenguinSmall and cute, the Satisfyer Pro Penguin will appeal to those not as picky as me. I have a huge gripe about the teeny, tiny silicone nozzle head that pops off easily (even during use, for me), and it’s corresponding lack of comfort plus difficulties maintaining a “seal”. The angle of head-to-body is less than other models so this means that the body of the toy will be angled further away from you. Coupled with its short stature this may mean it’s hard to hold for some folks with larger bodies or shorter arms (or the annoying combination of the two, like me). Like many Satisfyer models it has a brightly glowing LED light under the translucent silicone button. This is the only Satisfyer model that has the button facing your body, which is more comfortable for me but thin folks may find this causes the LED to glare in their eyes if they use it in the dark. I would probably recommend the Satisfyer Pro 2 over this, unless you simply cannot ignore the cute factor. You can read my full review here for extreme detail.

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at Shevibe (Canadians find it at CAYA)
—> View/Download User Manual

Satisfyer Pro Deluxe

Move Along. It’s awful, and I won’t recommend it to anyone. The design is way off the mark and it’s not comfortable to hold. Buy literally any other model. The Satisfyer Pro Deluxe has no redeemable qualities, unless you think that pranking someone by wrapping it up like a potato would be your idea of a good time. But even then, don’t buy it. A short, but rage-filled, review is coming soon if you don’t believe me on how awful it is.

* A few things to note about this comparison chart:

  1. As new similar products are available to retailers, and I try them, I’ll add them to the chart. By similar I mean no vibrations, just this air pulsing whoosiewhatsit.
  2. The decibels were tested with my phone and a sound meter. Due to the idling-engine type sound that the motors make on low, the sound meter jumped around a lot. The lower numbers then represent the loudest that the first settings will get. Also, I tested the sound levels without the nozzle being completely covered, like it would be in use. When the nozzle is completely covered the sound is dampened a lot.
  3. Charge and use time reports are varying from retailer info to manufacturer website / product manual info. One reports the Satisfyer has 120 minutes of use, while their web-version user manual reports only 30 minutes. When I can get an accurate number, I’ll add it.
  4. I feel that the fat & short design of the Womanizer W500 is awkward to hold and more awkward to press buttons. Womanizer boasts it being more comfortable to hold. We’ll agree to disagree, I guess.

The Knock-Off Issue with Satisfyer

Like anything popular, counterfeit and copycat products quickly flooded Amazon, AliExpress, eBay, etc. It never takes long after “white label”2 versions of popular brands are available for the emails about them to start hitting my inbox3. As you can see in this email screenshot there’s a knock-off of the Womanizer tech in a different body with a wholesale price of $20. At first glance, Satisfyer seemed to have fixed the primary complaints about Womanizer: design, name, price. But when you use any Satisfyer model side-by-side with any Womanizer it’s glaringly obvious that the price increase with the Womanizer will get you a product that is better made. I also just have a really hard time supporting a product that is such an obvious rip-off – maybe you don’t agree, and you need to have the most affordable option which I respect.

When I saw the Satisfyer brand, it was really clear that they’re going after the Womanizer market4 with this non-vibrating air-pulsation technology – they went the cheap route though with the motor and design, allowing the retail price to be so much lower than the Womanizer that they were guaranteed to steal a large chunk of the Womanizer’s potential customers5.

 

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  1. features a white femme person
  2. White label is when a manufacturing plant makes a product, but they are not necessarily a brand – they offer to make things for your brand. You, the brand company, don’t really design anything, you just slap your brand name on the packaging and maybe pick a slightly different color scheme. This is why you can often see a dozen nearly-identical sex toys on the sub-par retailer market
  3. Side note: why the hell do these companies think bloggers are retailers?
  4. **After this post went live** two folks commented via Facebook about their interactions with Satifyer reps at SHE NYC. One said: “True story, at this years SHE Expo in Brooklyn the Satisfyer representative said flat out to my wife and I that they took the “poorly designed Womanizer and made it better” then proceeded to essentially brag about how they got away with it adding how they considered a powerful patent lawyer part of the cost of bringing the Satisfyer to market. I mean, the guy was chuckling about it.” You know, this is not how a decent company behaves. At all. Jesus fuck.
  5. The company behind the Satisfyer has denied that they’ve outright copied the Womanizer tech; Womanizer responded by slapping them with patent infringement but it won’t hold water outside of Germany