May 072009

Pictures of Lily made my life so wonderful
Pictures of Lily helped me sleep at night

For me and Lily are together in my dreams
And I ask you, “Hey mister, have you ever seen”
“Pictures of Lily?”

~The Who, “Pictures of Lily”

How could I resist using this song title for a post about, and containing photos of, my cunt? Especially since the song is about masturbation in a roundabout way and a “picture of lily” is well…..yeah. you get it. I don’t need to explain all the points, right? You’re smart people.

Lilly / Lily


for Rated X, click through

Now, where were we? Ah yes. You know how I do it. But now….it is time for me to attempt to explain the wordless, to put text to something I feel and see. See? yeah…you’ll understand it soon.

Let us use the scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the lowest. I rarely start out at a level of 1, unless I am idly playing with my cunt as I am reading mild erotica. Using my fingers only, it is a slow climb up the rungs….achingly slow.

At 2, I’m getting wet…spreading the silkiness around…

At 3 my clit is solid…

At 4 my middle finger right hand is pressing and circling and rubbing my clit. At 4 I am moderately wet. At 4 I am fully aroused and will find it quite difficult to stop the boat there.

At this point I employ toys. If this is a clitoral-only session, then a vibrator is on the menu. In some regards I am more male than female; masturbation seems to be one of those areas. I am not like the porn actresses…..I do not spend time languidly touching my body. My goal is to get off and if I want to prolong the experience then I go for more orgasms. The only time I prolong the ride to orgasm is when my body is being uncooperative or I have to keep stopping (such as being at work). As I touch the vibrator to my clit, we shoot up the scale.



7 ……are all rushing by. I tense my muscles, almost…..pulling them inwards, sort of. My lower abs, back, ass, thighs, PC muscles…I am tense and writhing and working for my orgasm. I continue my pattern of pressure and tight circles around my clit.

8….my breathing is quicker my heart rate increased and my chest feels a little tight. My pelvis is moving of its own accord.

….9, here we go, we’re almost there. I know when 9 has hit and I know that 10 is just around the bend and no matter what I am NOT stopping now…..I can feel my body getting warm. My face and chest. If the ride up the scale was prolonged than you can bet that my chest and neck are splotchy and red like I had an allergic reaction, almost.

Aannnnddd 10.


10 means the tingles and bubbles hit (think of the effervescence of a carbonated beverage). They began forming in my cunt and the first step of orgasm is that the tingles spread throughout my body. Down my legs, up my belly and my chest and my face and then my eyes….yes, my eyes. There is concentrated tingling behind my eyes and I usually cannot keep them open during that long second. And then….

one beat…..calm before the storm….

and the tingles all rush back to my cunt in a fury and my whole cunt from asshole to clit is contracting and pulsing and the pleasure is intense.

The intensity varies, it is increased three-fold if I employed a dildo and ten-fold if I am using the Pure Wand. The orgasms with the Pure Wand can sometimes actually cause me chest pain, they are so intense, partially because I am bearing down so hard because it is with the Pure Wand that I have the opportunity for squirting. I have the ability to remain silent when I need to, but I prefer being able to be free. I am not a “screamer” but I can get very vocal.

I generally stop all movement when the pulsing starts, but I leave the vibrator on my clit until the biggest quakes pass. I lay there to catch my breath and let my heart stop pounding. The little aftershock mini-quakes make my cunt twitch. I once had a guy tell me he could feel it – right after orgasm he was on his back and I on my side, I curled into him…head on his chest and my legs wrapped around his thigh, my cunt was pressing to his hip.

If I had been using the Pure Wand, I don’t usually let up on my g-spot and I give my clit only a mere moments rest. I can go again and again; within minutes the next orgasm comes rolling in.

What does it feel like with the g-spot stimulation added in? Levels 6, 7, 8 go by so fast they’re not even acknowledged. The g-spot stimulation intensifies the clit stimulation and vice versa. I know I have the g-spot right when I get the “gotta pee, maybe” feeling but its not bad, it’s….good. It’s the mecca of pleasure. And when I come it is as one thing, it is neither a g-spot orgasm nor a clit orgasm it is…..a full cunt orgasm.

Sometimes my g-spot is my happy spot and after an intense session I will lay there in exhaustion and I giggle.

I am glowing, I am flushed, I am spent….and I am giggling and I am just thrilled with the world at that moment.


Until I discovered vibrations on my clit, I did orgasm from sex – but it was a g-spot orgasm, this I know now. And with a g-spot orgasm, for me, there are none of the telltale signs at level 9, there are no contractions of my cunt. So as you can imagine when I first experienced that type of orgasm I was enthralled. I actually got out my digital camera and took a close-up video so that I could watch what I was feeling. The female orgasm, watching the moment of orgasm and all that is happening……I am entranced and intrigued by it. When I watch porn it is that shot that I want to see. It is rare. Even just the sort that is a solo woman masturbating (which I love) they tend to focus the camera on her face. This is fine and beautiful but it’s not the best view, in my opinion.  This is probably why the highlight of all my experiences with other women was the time I photographed and video’d a friend while she masturbated.

Apr 192009

I need a muse.

I want to write smut and erotica but it’s just lurking back there in the recesses of my mind. It’s not coming out. Also a reason why there haven’t been any pics except for spontaneous camera-phone pics is because I can’t think up anything fresh and doable.

So, I’m hiring a muse.

What’s the pay? First look at what I write, input on it, first look at photos and helping to choose the versions I post if there’s more than 1 good one.

What’s the requirement? Someone who’s online daily and has creative thoughts. Oh and relatively familiar with my blog, what I’ve written, photos I’ve posted…..just so all your ideas aren’t repeats of what I’ve done.

Your incentive……


Taken while driving/in traffic on my way home from work one day after being teased…


Please list your level of desire, qualifications, etc below. If you are too shy to leave your application in the comments then by all means email me. And if you can’t find my email address…..then you shouldn’t be applying  ;)

Apr 112009

Perfect Touch Mega-Bullet (made by Synergy Erotic)


Size comparison next to the BNaughty vibe

About a month ago or so, my beloved Silver Bullet vibe died. It had become my stand-by vibe and of course it was my work vibe. Soon after it died, another bullet-type came to me for review from I was excited right away – it takes -3- AA batteries. 3!!! Most only take 2! And oh I was not disappointed with the power, like I had been with other bullet vibes….oh HELL it’s wonderful!

Edit: I found this little bit of info on the manufacturer’s site, and I found it interesting. Higher-quality bullet vibe makers, listen up!!!!! (now I know what “does it” for me – a motor that spins a bit slower):

The Perfect Touch Mega-Bullets are manufactured with a 15% larger motor that spins a bit slower than your typical bullet motor, but it also swings a MUCH larger counter-weight, which provides an EXTREMELY powerful sensation {they aren’t joking!!!}.

However, with strength comes flaws.


Not sure if you can tell, it does have a bit of “cord protector” as the wires exit the bullet, but they’re not firmly in place. I can push/pull on the cord and it’ll go in and out of the bullet. Since the bare wires in there are wrapped around contacts which make the whole thing work……moving wires spell a short life span.

It’s inexpensive, as most bullet vibes are, and I’m so sad that the manufacturer couldn’t do better with this. One major problem with the cheap construction is that it’s unreliable. My first one we deemed to be a fluke, defective, so quickly sent me a new one. The problem with the first one, I’ve determined, is that the wires that connect to the motor in the bullet were loose. If I moved the wire outside of the bullet to the “right” position, it would work. At first it would work somewhat more reliably, requiring a little bit of a shake to make it vibrate again. The replacement one has not had that problem, but it seems that the motor is off balance. At some angles (and the differences are a hair’s-width) it’s not very noisy. At other angles, it’s very noisy, like the vibrating part is hitting the hard plastic.

This makes it very hard for me to use it at work. Oh don’t get me wrong, I have used it a few times at work. I had to, I had nothing else! When I have used it… It was sometimes a quick ride but a wild one. My orgasms were very powerful; keeping a straight face and normal demeanor at work while using this one was nearly impossible as my orgasm crashed over me and my cunt throbbed.

Another flaw is that the power dial on the side is turned on WAY too easily – I swear one wrong move as I’m removing/reinserting a battery and it’s buzzing away (not good when you’re in public!) – but yet the “dimmer switch” aspect isn’t consistent. The first bullet they sent me was more noticeable in its varying levels of vibration. The second one wasn’t as much.

A third flaw is the design. The hand pack is very big, partially because it takes 3 AA’s. Also, the bullet is pretty big. This might be something that most of you won’t care about or might even like – my reasons for caring about the size are because of the circumstances in which I use it.

When the first one WAS working, I didn’t even need to turn it all the way up to high in order to orgasm. And you guys know I have a clit o’ steel.

Do I recommend it? That’s a tough call. If you require more power, like I do, and you don’t care if it’s a bit noisy sometimes then yes I do recommend it. It’s cheap. However, it’s unreliable.

I’ll keep plugging away, looking for my perfect bullet vibe for clitoral stimulation.

sextoys more eggs and bullets

Apr 032009

I just saw that Tess posted about today being National Cleavage Day…..


Does this count?

Or is it the wrong angle?


Maybe the click through is better?

Mar 192009

I never did care to go to Japan or really any Asian country. My cultural/food/architectural tastes run decidedly old-world European. But the more I read about the “Love Hotels” in Japan….I wanna go just for this shit!!!! No matter what your kink is, there’s a room somewhere for it. They can go all out in some! Alien-abductions. Doctor’s office and waiting room. Arctic. Holocaust-style torture chamber. Outer Space. Claymation-style and cartoon character decorated. After all, haven’t you always wanted to have kinky sex in a Disney-themed room??? Spiderman-style room complete with wall chains so you can “swing” from the walls. A recreation of a subway car complete with rocking and sounds!

Most of the modern love hotels are clinical in the lobbies and there are no clerks. Those japanese sure do love their vending machines (which sell anything and everything, even sex toys, panties and…..I won’t go on) and this is no different. A wall of lit up pictures of the rooms, if its dark its occupied, the prices are there. Some you pay in advance and you get the key, some you pay before you leave your room. Rates are either for 1 or 3 hours, or overnight. There’s group rooms, some even with a huge swimming pool! Awesome…. I knew these sorts of things existed, but not to this degree!

love-hotel-rooms japaneselovehotels2

Lemme show you the wackiness:


photo courtesy of

Osaka’s Gang Snowman is one of the more wild and detailed hotels. This room has a prison cage with a restraint cross, bondage coffee table with neck restraints, sauana/hot tub/massage table (cuz after being imprisoned you need to relax I guess).


photo courtesy of

Also at the Gang Snowman is the rooftop play area, which paying customers can use for free for 40 minutes. Garage themed (motor oil scene, anyone?) – yes that’s a real Caddy, with a hot tub. The Caddy has arm/leg restraints and when the car starts rockin…..the headlights flash. I shit you not.

Elsewhere in Japan….


Photo: Misty Keasler for

A little Hello Kitty with your restraints? Why the fuck not!



Self explanatory, no?



Photo: Misty Keasler for

This one is really fucking disturbing. Carousel. Large back-lit photos of happy toddlers on the walls. Wow….


Let’s continue with the bizarre/disturbing theme, shall we?

The Japanese Penis Festival. Celebrating fertility and large cocks. This isn’t an adult-themed festival. Nope.

Here honey… the penis! Careful now!

wooden-penis 486058493_a8055df81f_m

hounen-penis-fertility-festival-1-705486 kanamaratransvestites penisfest8


In other news…..

Want a dismembered boob? What are these, DD?


VaginaDrum found this one and twitpic’d it:



If the crazy-ass game shows didn’t clue you in…..I’m convinced. They’re light-years ahead of us. In a parallel universe.

Mar 112009

So you know how, for those of you who have a site tracker sort of thing, it can be really amusing and informative to see where people are coming from and how they got to you?

Sometimes…….not so much. Suddenly there were all these hits from a forum thread somewhere, to an HNT from a few months ago. What I read there about myself was hurtful to me. Sure, they don’t know me from the slut next door and they’re being judgmental and petty and all sorts of things. Sure, I shouldn’t take to heart what they might say about how I look. But I am a lot more thin-skinned than I’d like to be sometimes and it really pierced me. As my chest clutched in anxiety and hurt, watching the hits roll in, the absolutely wonderful husband of Coy Pink, Alec, whipped up a bit of code to redirect the gawkers from there to elsewhere. I don’t want reassurances that they’re assholes and I shouldn’t listen – to be frank the words were unkind in their delivery but they did speak the truth. I have already heard the dismissive reassurances from the friends I told this to but it doesn’t quite erase it.

I’m tapped out creatively right now with photos. I’m fed up with my own harsh self-criticism of said photos. Until I can think up something better than Angle 28 of My Big Tits, I’m done with HNT for the near future. I also prefer the sincere praise of my erotica, or the helpful/thoughtful/warm comments on my other writings to the once-weekly ogling of my exposed naughty bits. Sure I’ll still put up a photo here and there, but not like clockwork, not for HNT. Not now.

So instead, tell me, do you like my new site design? With the help of the ever-wonderful Alec in nudging the code bits around when I threw up my hands, the beautiful vector brushes from this talented girl, and the critical (not in the bad way, in the “darken that, lighten that, it’ll flow/pop better”) commentary from others with a great design eye like Naughty Secretary and my partner and others – I used the barebones template of this theme (despite its broken footer.php file) but obviously I totally did my own graphics. I just don’t know enough yet to write my own code. But the design idea and the Photoshop work is mine. It took me about 2 weeks to go from start to completion with both the graphics and the code tweaks (mainly because I tried my hardest to do as much code myself as I could, even though it undoubtedly took me 10 times longer than it would have taken Alec to do the same thing).

Oh and here’s your obligatory tit flashing :)

Same parking lot as the last time, more boldness. Same time of day. If there were any workers of the factory just below this lot in their parking lot, looking up in my direction, they couldn’t have missed this! lol