Posted by Lilly | 7 Comments

My First Blowjob

A post by AAG earlier in the week reminded me of my first blowjob – and man was it awkward. And actually – quite regrettable. I must confess though that I’m not sure which year of high school this occurred, junior or senior year. I know that his name was John and he lived in another school district; we caught each others eye in the Small Town Friday Night Activity of Going To The Mall. LAME! I know. But I thought he was hot. We had something resembling a lame date and then a month or so later I saw him again for my Christmas formal.

He was allowed to drive me to and from the dance, I think. But oddly we didn’t get frisky until he brought me home. He dropped me off and politely made small talk with my father and then I walked him to his car. I originally thought that my father went to bed at that point. Oh silly, silly me. John’s idea of “saying goodnight” was to lure me into his backseat for a few kisses. Or so he said. Have I mentioned how inexperienced I was yet at this age?  Ha! Pretty soon, he whipped out his cock and I hadn’t a damn clue what to do with it other than put my hand on it. Very quickly, his hand on the back of my head increased the pressure of pushing me down to his lap until he had to outright tell me what he wanted because I just wasn’t getting the hint. I do recall telling him that I’d never done that before and wasn’t sure how…..I don’t remember what he said but I felt that I shouldn’t say no, I wanted him to like me.

I couldn’t tell you anymore what I did or didn’t do. I’m pretty sure my teeth caught him once. And I do know that it didn’t last very long, certainly he didn’t come. I was scared enough of Penis; ejaculation would have made me run, I bet.

The worst part? You guessed it by now, my dad wasn’t in bed. He never said anything to me when I came back to the house, but I know he knew I was in that backseat with that boy. Oh, the shame. The shame!!

My regret stems from two facts: This boy didn’t deserve a blowjob from me, because he was a douchebag and I didn’t realize it until afterwards. He faked being grounded to get out of ever seeing me again. And of course that my father had an inkling of me being unladylike in the backseat of the car in my driveway.

I don’t think I sucked another cock until my First Real Boyfriend. Somehow with him I went from being afraid of Penis, Sex and Naked Men to becoming a slutty slut-ho in a week’s time. I fucked him inside a week of dating, and we couldn’t keep our dirty little hands off each other. But that’s a story for another time.

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Hey I have another post up at EdenCafe, it’d be great to see some feedback on it :)

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Posted by Lilly | 13 Comments

Loved

When I dug deep into the blackness and confessed my flaws yesterday, I never expected the reaction that I got. I expected for people to read that post and think about how much of a deviation it is from what I show on this blog and be….disappointed? No, that’s not the word. I don’t know what word I’m looking for. But either way, I was surprised at what I got.

And I cannot tell you all how touched I am. No, seriously, y’all made me cry. Like big, fat Hallmark-commercial tears when it’s that time of the month and you’ve just watched the episode of Grey’s Anatomy where Denny dies*. The sweet things, the supportive things, the “I feel that way too” things…..was just overwhelming. And it makes me sad that so many people feel that way; I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. Why does it have to be this way? What has happened in this world that we have to feel this way? I grew up around mean, judgmental people. Sometimes I think it’s an epidemic of Pennsylvania. Why can’t I have people like you all in my daily “real” life, why do you have to be scattered around the country?

I got more comments on my Flawed post than on my HNT. Some people might see that as a complaint. No no, I see that as amazing and touching and meaningful. I can’t even tell you how much I love you guys.

And then today I get this email from the DivineCaroline.com site – somebody, I don’t know who, nominated my blog for this award. Whoever did that…..thank you. That’s pretty awesome. I have zero expectations of winning, just going by the number of sites nominated and the winners of last year (not sex blogs), but I don’t really care. That’s not what it’s about here. Somebody likes this blog of mine, and that’s a pretty cool thing in my world.

 

 

 

psssstt…..

There’s only 2 days left to enter to win an NJOY PURE WAND from me and edenfantasys.com. I’m really excited to give away one of these and I hope to be able to give one away again in the future. It’s obvious a lot of people are lusting for this toy!!

 

* Don’t click on that link if you’re feeling at all emotional or sappy, ok? Just don’t, lol.

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Posted by Lilly | 7 Comments

24 Hours in Happyland

Happyland is my new name for Maryland. We had a “honeymoon lite” this weekend, just 24 hours and it was most decidedly not enough. The bayside town we go to is a spot where his family owns a little place; for a while there we went every year but due to being newly moved, more poor and less time off from work we had to forgo our week-long summer escapes there these last two years.

It’s always nice to go back; in a way it feels like going home. Is it sad that we (especially me) were super duper excited to see that they put in a new (and huge and wonderful) Target closer to our town? Some places on the eastern shore are a good 20-30 minute drive to “civilization” and chain stores (or farther!). The new Target means that decent shopping is now a little bit closer AND we no longer have to go to Wal-mart for non-grocery things. We bought dessert there – Target has a food brand called Archer Farms and a lot of their things are quite good. We got a Tiramisu from the frozen section and we were very pleasantly surprised! The filling part isn’t as thick and pudding-like as mine, but it was really tasty and even better than some I’ve had in restaurants!!! Another reason we love Maryland is that somehow the roads there are far, far superior than Pennsylvania. It doesn’t matter which highway we are on to get into Maryland (so far it’s been 4 different ones), the moment you officially cross state line the road changes. From pale, crappy, cracked, riddled with potholes and untold amounts of tar patching to smooth and hassle-free. It’s sad, really. Even the median and the shoulders are far superior. And, of course, the drivers are better for the most part.

Dinner was divine, at one of our favorite local seafood places. After dinner we took our usual drive to one of our spots; I had an urging for beach glass. It’s a bit of an obsession with us on the last couple trips and we’ve gotten a decent collection from various beaches in the eastern shore area. No red glass, sadly, and only two little pieces of dark blue glass but the rest is quite pretty. This was our haul from one of the nearby little beaches. I guess “beach” is a bit misleading – more like “bit of shore with some sand and shells and rocks for about 100 yards”. But we like it.

We love this place so much and don’t spend nearly enough time there, that I’ve got a bit of vacation drop after a mere 24 hours. Really really don’t wanna go back to work tomorrow.

As soon as Drew, my dealer and enabler, firms up a few details for me I will announce a sex toy giveaway contest that I’m really excited for. And I already have my HNT pic (or pics, we’ll see) for this week because last week I wore a top I hadn’t ever noticed is so thin that it’s see-through in certain lighting. Oops!

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Posted by Lilly | 35 Comments

Half-Nekkid Bride!

In case you missed it, I formally announced on Monday that I got hitched on Sunday. Even though I was twittering questions about clothing, and silk flowers for bouquets, and wedding bands, and how the fuck to get off my engagement ring, and which ring is worn first (wedding band or engagement ring) and etc…..Some of you thought I was joking! That surprised me. Is it that shocking that I should get married?

The official piece of paper doesn ‘t change a whole lot with us – but it means we’re officially recognized, can make emergency decisions for each other, and share in benefits only bestowed to married couples. We’ve been together long enough, it really was about time.  I’m still able to date and fuck and carouse just as before! Don’t worry, nothing about this blog will change ;)

This weekend we’re headed off to Maryland, eastern shore area, for a short 24-hour honeymoon- if you can call it that. A night out of town, to drive around an area we know so well, and have some wonderful cream of crab soup and crab imperial. Yum!

 

I don’t think I’ll be around to very many HNT posts tonight, and I know I won’t be up late enough to announce myself at Osbasso’s – perhaps someone could do it for me? It seems that the stress, lack of sleep and high humidity weather of the last couple weeks has all ganged up on my fibromyalgia and I’m in a lot of pain from head to toe. I’ll try to make proper rounds tomorrow and Friday!

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Posted by Lilly | 18 Comments

Some Lessons Learned and Anatomy Class

As I review more sex toys, I’m learning some things about myself, toys and the sex toy industry.

1. Every woman is different. Our cunts are different. Every aspect is different. But just like the media is pushing that a size 2 is ideal these days, it seems that sextoy manufacturers are trying to tell me that my cunt is built wrong. I certainly feel that way!! I just got the Rock Chick today, a highly recommended toy by many other reviewers…..only to figure out in 10 minutes flat that it simply will NOT work with a cunt built like mine.
Like what? Well, my outer labia are fuller than average. Perhaps because I’m not skinny? Dunno. My clit is the size of Hello Kitty’s nose (thanks VaginaDrum) and it requires a fuckin map for new partners to find it. Even a seasoned partner has trouble! When it comes to sex toys like….dual stimulators…..Remote hands-free “butterfly” vibes….. These are meant for women who’s outer labia is not as full and their clits peek out to say hello world!
It seems to me that “the way I’m built” isn’t normal. At least that’s what porn models and the sex toy industry are leading me to believe.

2. My vagina is an F student in Braille. I see so many dildos that are touting how “realistic” they look, and have veins for added sensation. Or any of the countless non-penis-replica vibrators and dildos that have raised swirlies and bumps and ridges. I just can’t tell. I’m tight, but perhaps just not as sensitive. Since when did my girlie bits need to learn Braille just to get off??

3. Just because you pay over $50 for a toy, don’t expect it to be glorious. I’m not saying to stop buying them. But I’m not guaranteeing greatness. I’ve got numerous pricey toys I’ve reviewed that, had I purchased them, I would be pretty ticked off at their lack of oomph or single-minded design. We-Vibe. Doc Johnson I-Rabbit thingiemabobber. Even some of the Lelo toys I’m finding myself disappointed in their lack of power. Is it because they’re rechargeable? I’m not sure.
Most cheap-shit toys I, understandably, end up disappointed with as well. Tonight I got this bullet vibe from the lovely ladies at sextoy.com. At first I’m practically shouting from the rooftops my love for it! It’s -powerful-!!! Finally!!! But then, quickly, I find a defect. When I turn it on….it’s not turning on. I hafta shake the egg. Sometimes though it’s just fine. I’m still trying to determine if this is a singular defect, or the product as a whole. (I see now that it’s a wire issue. Gonna try a dab of superglue somewhere)

4. I’m learning that there are many of you who love my writing as much as my tits. I’m also learning that there’s many of you just here for the tits. So be it. But I have to wonder sometimes….what would happen if I pulled all my pics? What would happen if I never posted a nude photo again? Would my readership and commentors drop off like mayfly’s? (so help me – if you comment and cry out “nooo!!! don’t take away the noodz!!” I’ll slap you. I really will.)

5. I am learning that I’m part hermit, part social butterfly. What does that mean? I crave conversation, I’m in love with Twitter because it’s sometimes like a big ole chatroom. I’ve been up too late a few times lately just chatting around with a bunch of us in the same “circle” (we all follow each other) and having fun. Conversely, because my updates are private, people have to request to follow me. I’ve been denying most people lately. I look at them suspiciously, wonder why they want to follow. Perhaps to just have “another number”. I have over 200 followers of my twitter stream, and more than half never say boo.

That’s all I’ll bore you with tonight. Honestly I’d be shocked if most of you read the whole thing. Skimmed it, perhaps. I should put some sort of code in the posts that tell you something cool like….I’m giving away a $20 Babeland giftcard soon, or something. Hidden words that, if you read it all, will stick out to tell you that secret message.

Nah. I’m too lazy. And I need to visit more websites that will tell me that my cunt is built all wrong.

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