Jun 20, 2008

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My sexual match

There is a guy one state over that I have been talking to online for 2 months now, “K”. I don’t know if I’ll ever get what I truly want from him, which is something in-person (he’s not available). But we still have fun with each other online in the fantasy world. K is pretty much my sexual match; there is only one major fantasy of mine that he isn’t into which is the MMF threesome (a sex free-for-all, in which nobody cares who’s doing what so long as it’s being done).

We don’t -just- talk about sex, but it’s a main topic. Sometimes matter-of-factly, sometimes with the intent purpose of getting one or the both of us off. He’s one of the few who pretty much knows my every desire, like and dislike. He knows things I wouldn’t readily admit to just anyone. But the main thing to know about K is that we are deeply attracted to each other, physically and mentally. I know I’m not the only one he talks to online in this manner, as he knows he’s not the only one, but I love it when he comes to me to get him off. When I know he’s signed on to talk to me for that sole purpose. He has seen every photo of me that is on my computer – he has seen every video (not many) that I have, most of which haven’t been seen by anyone else.

Also in our time together, he’s delved into his dominant side and I in turn have completely bottomed out with him. I do not consider myself to be submissive, certainly not slave; I suppose “bottom” is more accurate. But K makes me crazy and I’ll do anything for him, sexually. Although I’m too much of a strong-willed brat to be completely submissive to him online, I think that in person might be another matter. K can make me wet within mere minutes of talking to him. I think I have the similar effect on him ;) I love that he loves my body, flaws and extra weight and all. It is rare that I do not feel self-conscious about my body in bed, but with him I know that the sex would be phenomenal because I would feel truly and completely sexy and wanted with him.

Today’s fantasy admission isn’t a completely D/s fantasy..or it wasn’t when we talked about it. But I know that the position he would want to take in this fantasy would allow for him to be the alpha-male in the group; I would likely bottom out and let myself be taken over.

K: so tell me
K: ignoring everything else
K: (logistics, the dealing with that many people)
K: would you enjoy having a cock in your pussy, your mouth, and one in each hand while your clit is being sucked?
Me: hell yes
K: and how about a tiny cock in your ass as well?
Me: with that much, why the hell not
Me: right? ;)
K: haha
K: imagine five guys’ cum dripping all over you
Me: hmmm
Me: so of those 5 guys, which position would you be taking?
K: well
K: my cock isn’t small, it’s a little above-average – so i wouldn’t be in your ass
K: i’d probably take your mouth, so i could see your lust-filled eyes gazing up at me
Me: nice choice
K: plus, that would mean your face would be mine to mark when i cum
K: since i wouldn’t make you swallow it
Me: fucking hell
Me: make that one more fantasy i now want
K: you want me to mark your face? ;)
Me: that too, but no, 5 guys, with you in my mouth, you as my focus
K: thought so
K: i wonder how you’d react when you feel cum exploding in your pussy and ass?
K: would you moan, would you scream, would you just suck harder or deeper?
K: or would you gasp and let my cock loose?
Me: shit i dont know
Me: lets find out, shall we? ;)
Me: i think the cocks in my hand might not get the best attention tho
K: i’m sure if there was a little lube involved, you could maintain your grip well enough for the guys to fuck your hands
Me: hmm

In the past, any group sex fantasies involved equal parts male and female (except threesomes) and no D/s. My MMF fantasy has me in alpha position, making my boys do whatever I say to me and to each other. But this…5 men…I wanna give up control. To K. My focus to be him, all the other guys are just a sensation, just something that is going on and happening to my body.

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Jun 17, 2008

Posted by | 4 Comments

Let’s talk semantics

Is it still exhibitionism if no one knows?

I chat online with guys every day. Some are flirtations that have been around awhile, some are boys-of-the-week. I get VERY aroused when the flirting turns sexual. Not so much cyber-sex as in “I’m doing this to you, can you feel me?”, but the “if I were there” game…the virtual show and tell game…swapping stories and fantasies and compliments and photos (oh the photos…my favorite sort of online exhibitionism…we’ll talk about those another time)

I work in an office, I’m kinda like the receptionist/secretary. Therefore, I don’t hide away in a cubicle or office. There’s only two ways out of our area, and to go out the more-oft used doors, you go past my desk. In any given minute, I have someone walking past my desk. Being that it’s a receptionist desk, I have one of those “counter” like things in front of me.

So I sit here and off and on throughout the day, I’m talking to people. Some days it’s fairly innocent. Other days….whew. Now the people I’m talking to online know what I’m doing, but my coworkers do not.

What am I doing? Talking about sexually explicit things. Perhaps going into the public restroom to snap a photo or two on my phone to send to the lucky recipient. But sometimes…..

Sometimes I’ve gotten out a badboy similar to this:

Slipped it somehow into my panties with the remote in my hand, hidden under my desk. Depending on if I’m wearing pants or a skirt that day, the handpack is hidden under clothes or perhaps not. I nestle it between my pussy lips and against my clit and turn it on. And I try really hard not to let on to all these people walking by my desk what I’m really doing. Which is difficult because this particular toy can get really powerful at the top setting of the dial. At the lower settings it is quiet enough, once nestled, for me to use at my desk (key thing here, for me, which is why I’m having trouble finding a replacement for it since it just died today)

I have had one online-amour, K, instruct me when to turn it on, what setting, when to crank it up and when to let myself orgasm.
I’ve sat here and squirmed, flushed red, driving myself to the edge…but the combination of the act and the talking has me so wet that the vibrating little devil won’t stay put. I try to discretely use my fingers/hand to press the bullet to my clit.
A few times I’ve orgasmed…right here at my desk. Once I had to take it to the restroom (the public one) and discretely finish off in a stall.

So. My point. I had one ;)

SOMEone knows what I’m doing…the online object of my lust…but the people around me do not. sure, I could easily get caught with my hand down my pants, or flushing a little too much.
Is this still exhibitionism?

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All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me