Jan 062018
 

Je Joue Bullets Classic and G-Spot against a light blue patterned backgroundWhen I first saw the new Je Joue bullets I had two thoughts. First: Oh god, more bullets. Second: Well, it’s Je Joue and except for that other extremely unfortunate line, I’ve really enjoyed every vibrator of theirs that I’ve tried and tend to recommend them highly. Also: that teaser video they put out for them where they did the water-displacement trick gave me hope – while they didn’t fight fair and compare their bullet to something actually comparable like the Tango, I did recognize that particular “style” of water displacement, the cue for “rumble and power”. So I reached out to Je Joue and eventually, a very nice rep said he’d send me the whole line which pleased me greatly because you all know how much I love to compare and contrast. After putting 2 of the 3 Je Joue Bullets through their paces I feel ready to recommend them!

A Play in Three Acts – Je Joue Bullets

Did you notice that I said “2 of the 3”? They sent me the whole line but I knew I wouldn’t like the Je Joue Rabbit Bullet because I hate “ears” on my clitoral vibrators. Yes, I love pinpoint stimulation – on one side. Whether they are ears or rigid prongs I’ve just never been a fan. I can tell you why I dislike ears easier than why I dislike prongs but it boils down to this: there’s no motor in the ears. They’re just fluff. They vibrate as wobbly antennae, protruding away from the motor and are therefore never rumbly or powerful enough for me and they crumble to nothing when smothered by chubby labia. Folks who need a more subtle approach tend to love them, though (if this is you? get the Rabbit bullet).

There was a bit of information noticeably missing from their early promos; info I find crucial: They took the idea behind the Mimi Soft and built that into the bullets. The tips are squishy! Folks who hate hard, rigid powerful bullets will really love these. The Je Joue Classic Bullet has a moderate amount of squishy bits, it’s just in the bullet-pointy tip part. The Je Joue G-Spot Bullet has the most – the squish begins the moment that tip angles out. The G-Spot Bullet will be the one you pick if you want power AND the most squish for your buck. The squishiness of the squish bits is the same as the Mimi Soft – so not quite as squishy as the Tenga Iroha vibes. But it feels more practical in use and placement of the squish compared to most Iroha styles1. All that being said: I couldn’t exactly feel the squish in use. It’s not like the marshmallow tip on the Eroscillator. But it can make it much more comfortable for those who like pressure.

Je Joue Bullet Classic, Je Joue Mimi Soft and Je Joue Bullet G-Spot lined up with a line drawn to show where the squishy bits startBut I’m definitely not on board with the G-Spot Bullet as an actual G-spot vibrator. In fact, the whole premise greatly confuses me and this is coming from a person with a shallow G-spot. Overall the G-spot bullet is just about 4.25″ long. The buttons are located on the shaft of the bullet which means the insertable portion is really short: 2.0″ if I’m being generous, giving you a mere half of an inch below the “high” or “increase” button and really, even then, you’re going to have trouble hitting that button. It just isn’t practical in my eyes to buy this as a G-Spot internal vibrator. As an external vibrator? It’s awesome and I love it.  So while I love this one for it’s big, squishy bulby tip, I twitch at it being called the G-Spot Bullet and prescribed as such but then perhaps I’m being short-sighted and there are folx out there who would actually need and use a slender vibrator with a max insertion length of about 2 inches.

What Is Happening With This Motor??

Two months ago this paragraph looked very different; my overall assessment and enjoyment of the motors in the Je Joue Bullets has increased the more I use them.

There are three things to know about me and my vibrator preferences: I usually need pinpoint stimulation, I love truly deep, rumbling vibrations (the more rumble the more better), and I hate patterns. Because these are bullets they’ve got the first requirement nailed down. I’d expected the same motor found in the Mimi but instead found something that confused me. The first four (of five) intensity levels aren’t exactly what I’d call “straight vibrations”. It’s like a really rapid pulsing that feels like it’s mimicking rumbling, thuddy vibrations. But yet it’s not really what I’d call a pattern and the funny thing is – I don’t hate it. Overall the motor still leans heavily more to the rumbly side of the scale but things feel different from the We-Vibe Tango or the Je Joue Mimi. I’d still call it rumbly, and possibly gently thuddy, while the highest level of intensity brings a tiny bit of buzz back to the party and removes the pulsating thud.

The lowest settings on the Je Joue bullets are nice and effective enough, while the highest setting is probably equal to the middle level of the Tango, or somewhere between mid and high level of the Tango2.  I was on the fence about these vibrations until I clocked more than 10 uses and realized I kept picking them up3. A bullet is basically my hands-free set-it-and-come vibrator that is great when I’m masturbating at my desk or otherwise sitting up and unable to relax, lay back, and spread out for the Womanizer. 

I prefer the Womanizer as my top choice for clitoral stimulation but it’s not always practical for my positioning the way a bullet can be. I do still feel like if given the choice, I’d pick the Tango over the Je Joue Bullets because I like the Tango’s motor a little better and, even though it has a single button to hate, there are fewer patterns so it’s much quicker and easier to cycle back through. The button differences have their pros and cons each so it’ll depend on how you use it.

The Cons – Because There’s Always a Few Cons

Je Joue Bullet buttons vs Je Joue Mimi buttonsI hate the buttons. I really fucking hate the buttons. I can see why they went this way – 3 buttons are absolutely better than one. Three allows you to traverse the intensities up and down as you please without forcing you to hit up floors 3, 4 and 5 when you’re on 2 and just wanna revisit 1 briefly to back off.  But having three buttons on a bullet means the buttons need to go on the “shaft” rather than the end. No matter how I hold it or how many times I’ve used it I can’t get accustomed to these barely-perceptible buttons that are smushed close together, and I’m often4 hitting the wrong damn button. It’s often enough that I end up hitting the “pattern” button way too often – often enough that if I were the type to give a star rating in my reviews, the buttons would knock off a full star. In use, if you can’t see the buttons you also can barely feel them, much less tell them apart quickly and easily. I hate patterns and wish they didn’t exist on these bullets.

I love versatility in a sex toy and these bullets when compared to the Tango, lack that somewhat. The Je Joue Bullets can’t be used inside other toys. They are versatile with external use, though, and provide a more pinpoint option than the Mimi.

A Solid “Hey These Are Pretty Darn Good” Rating

The Je Joue bullets are not taking any crowns or awards home for the most rumbly or powerful bullets on the market; they’re not the most affordable. They ARE waterproof, though, and have a warranty. But it’s a solid 7 for me and for others it may even rank higher. I really enjoy them, despite a few qualms and a hatred of the buttons. I enjoy the squishy-squashy tips, the weird motor and the fact that they charge via mini-USB. I prefer the motor in these over the Jopen $50 mini vibes, so the $10 boost in price feels like a worthwhile upgrade – plus I also hate the Jopen buttons PLUS the Jopen vibes charge via pin-style plug connector. Anything that charges via mini-USB gets a little boost from me since I can charge my phone or mouse with the same cable.The Je Joue bullets, despite being a far less pretty “sad purple” are a lot better in use than any Crave bullet or Crave mini vibrator I’ve tried.

There are lower-priced rechargeable bullets that are powerful, such as the Screaming O Charged Positive or Vooom but I flat-out refuse to support that company and recommend any of their products. If price is a big factor to you and thuddy rumbles matter less, you’ll probably end up picking the Screaming O bullet, much to my chagrin. I’d rather you not, okay? Thankssss. I do encourage you to try out a Je Joue Bullet! They’re neat!

 

These bullets were provided to me by Je Joue in exchange for my honest review and can be purchased at SheVibe for $59.

  1. I’ve never written “squish” quite so many times in a review, I think this is a new record
  2. My kingdom for a goddamn working Tango charger
  3. Have I mentioned I need a goddamn working Tango charger? My Tangos are all still dead because I’ve lost one charging cable and the other doesn’t work
  4. Nearly always
Jan 132010
 

The cool new g-spot / dual stimulation bendable vibrator that I reviewed recently, the G-Ki by Je Joue, is now on sale at EdenFantasys.com. It’s priced at $98.99 currently – since it’s over $80 this means that EF will ship it Express Delivery for free! As far as I know, for now EdenFantasys is the only retailer selling it, or one of very few. I don’t see it anywhere else online.

g_ki_black g_ki_purple g_ki_pink_plus_box

I reviewed the black model but it’s also available in an eggplant-purple and a soft pink.

Jan 022010
 

*Author’s note: This review is about the first-generation G-ki which is no longer made. The updated G-kii exists but I haven’t tried it, I don’t know what changes were made. Unfortunately then most of this review is moot.

Well, this is exciting! (so exciting that I ripped into the shipping box before I even made it into work) I’ve never gotten to review a *brand new* sex toy before! As of this writing, the Je Joue G-Ki isn’t even for sale quite yet, but when it is I’ll update this post. Edenfantasys.com is one of the few retailers that will be selling this sex toy for the time being. You may or may not recognize the maker of this toy, Je Joue. To date they only have one sex toy out on the market but the innovative wonderment of it all created many waves in the adult industry and amongst toy critiques and addicts – That toy is the SaSi. SaSi is a high-end luxury toy meant to simulate oral sex and “learn” which moves you like. I wanted one for the longest time until I learned enough about it to know that it wouldn’t work with my particular anatomy. But there is always that possibility with many sex toys.

So as not to leave out a vital part of a woman’s potential for orgasm, Je Joue created the G-Ki. It’s unique because it bends a bit. When I saw the manufacturer’s photos and could tell that it bent, I originally thought that perhaps this was accomplished with a bendable wire core but that isn’t at all the case. There are two joints that click through a few angles of bendiness. It can go from this gentle curve to a “J” shape. The purpose of bending it into the J-shape is in the hopes that while the tip is massaging your g-spot, the body is vibrating against your labia and clitoris. In order to make it bend you have to press on a button at the joint. This unlocks it from its current position. As you can see, the G-ki is not very big. The overall shape is more oval than round, so width is hard to measure. I would say it’s closer to 1 3/8″ at the tip. The neck is maybe an inch.

The Je Joue G-Ki The Je Joue G-Ki The Je Joue G-Ki The Je Joue G-Ki Size Comparison vs Njoy Pure Wand The Je Joue G-Ki Size Comparison vs Njoy Pure Wand

Another very cool feature that I’ve only seen in Je Joue toys is that it recharges via a magnetic connection, much like your average cordless computer mouse. While the SaSi came with a smart looking base, the G-Ki just has a cord with a fob that magnetically clicks over the power buttons and begins the charge. You’ll see a little red light glow from under the silicone skin to let you know it’s charging. It blinks while it’s charging. It takes 2 hours to charge it for 2 hours of play time. Although I didn’t let it run for 2 hours, I would imagine that the last 45 minutes or so the vibrations would be noticeably weaker.

I believe that most of the toy is hard plastic covered by a matte silicone – except for the g-spot tip. It’s pure silicone to the core for the 1/2″ or so, so there’s a little give. Just enough. Neither the manual nor the site specifically says how many positions each joint can click to. The bending of the tip is more subtle that the mid-section. To bend it you press on a raised button at each joint to unlock it. Up at the tip, that unlock button has three dots on it. The mid-section button has 5 dots. Deductive reasoning tells me that this signifies the number of positions, but I could be wrong. I would not recommend this toy for someone with arthritis in their hands – I have it a little and I found those buttons to be just a bit hard to push in to unlock the joints. It’s not a deterrent for me, but it could be for someone worse off.

According to the site/manual, women should start out with the toy at it’s most “relaxed” position and play with the tip settings first. The instructions are very much geared towards women who are not experienced with toys or their g-spot. Not me, I bent the tip right away and even tried to make it into the J-shape right away until I learned that insertion wasn’t very easy that way! I have short arms so it was a little tricky to press hard enough on the button to unlock the midjoint with the toy inside of me, but it was do-able.

As for the vibrations, there’s two buttons, plus and minus. From any setting at all the toy can be shut off by holding the minus button for 2 seconds. You can click through 5 levels of vibrations and 5 different pulsing patterns. I don’t think that the different levels of vibration are anything past a subtle variance, but the first level is not powerful enough to be a hindrance to more sensitive women. (after I made the video, I played with the vibrations more and found there is a more obvious difference if you go through the 5 levels in *reverse*. This makes the lowest somehow seem lower than when you first turn it on) The frequency/pitch of the vibration is a very pleasing low and rumbly sort. The motor is in the handle but the vibrations travel quite well throughout the entire toy. The focal point of the vibrations should be the point in the handle where it is closest to your clit. Since the vibrations are more diffuse than pinpoint, it’s not a quick and easy O – it’s more of a build-up. Which is a great way to go about it when combining clit and g-spot play because for many women a g-spot orgasm takes longer than clitoral.

I personally found that if I wanted both clit and g-spot stimulation at once from this toy, my best bet was pushing on the very tip of the hand in a sort of rocking-circular-rubbing motion. This amplified the vibrations a bit as it pushed against my pubic bone. I would say that this is comparable to the Layaspot in both frequency, intensity and noise level. The Onye bullet vibrator is louder, the frequency is the same, but doesn’t feel much more powerful. The power level of the vibrations feels less intense because the vibrations are spread out in the handle, more diffuse than say a remote-handpack bullet vibe. I would still say though that my bullet vibes are stronger than the G-Ki. However, that’s comparing apples to oranges. I no longer have my Lelo Elise but I think that the G-Ki would also line up in comparison quite similarly. This wasn’t as powerful of a dual-sensation as a rabbit vibrator but this toy worked my g-spot much much better than any rabbit vibe could.

All in all, the G-Ki by Je Joue is an enjoyable, innovative toy. If I were to make changes, the first would be to add a few inches to the handle portion. But that’s just because I have short arms and a big belly, so most other women won’t need the handle to be longer. I’d also (of course) up the vibration intensity just a tad but again….that’s me (hi….clit o’steel here…). The intensity is probably enough for most women. It won’t be a dual-stimulation toy for every woman, but that is to be expected due to variances in anatomy. My clitoris is smaller and doesn’t protrude much and is nestled down between very full outer labia. If that does not describe you, then you would enjoy it even more than I have. If you’d like to read about the technical specs such as exact size and a list of the vibration functions, see my review on edenfantasys.

Dec 312009
 

This has only happened once before, and at least then it was lunchtime.

By “this” I mean that I picked up a sex toy shipment from a carrier before work. Previously it was at lunchtime because I didn’t want to trek out to UPS after work. Today, it was in the morning before work. I actually didn’t go there to get the sex toy; I went there to bitch at the postmaster at my local post office because my douchebag mail carrier didn’t leave a slip saying that I have a package to pick up at the post office – he didn’t leave the slip because he was too fuckin lazy to see if I might be home. And I was! Little worm tried to lie to the lady at the counter this morning when they were searching for my package (that actually arrived Tuesday); he said he left me a slip. Liar liar pants on fiiiiiire! I was upset because it was my makeup bag. I left it at my moms over the weekend (I can’t seem to leave without forgetting something, it’s inevitable) and it contained all my main makeup powders – foundation, concealer, eyeshadows and liners, etc etc. I’ve looked like crap all week because I’ve had to use odd scraps of sample shades mixed together. And if anything had happened to that box, I’d be in deep shit because to replace all the makeup would have cost over $100 and I didn’t think to tell my mom to insure it.

ANYWAYS.

So I got there before my mail carrier left for the day, and they handed me the box that was supposed to be delivered today.

Woohoo!

What was in it?

Muahahahaha only the coolest, newest sex toy! So cool that I had to rip into the box the moment I was in my car. And unwrap it while waiting in snowy morning traffic.

jejoue1

Pretty packaging for the G-Ki! Yup I got a Je Joue G-Ki to review, and that review will be coming out very soon.

It’s a rechargeable that arrived uncharged, as most do, but did I wait till I got home?

Pffft fuck no!

jejoue2 jejoue3

And then after lunch when most people were already gone, I decided to check out the vibrations on this baby. *note to self: be careful and make sure you know how to turn shit off and on!! I got it turned on and then couldn’t quickly turn it off at first.Anyways, just a few quick cell-phone pics to show the size. It’s a little smaller than I anticipated.

jejoue4 jejoue6 jejoue5

Since we got a 3-hour reprieve from work, I decided to run errands. Well, first, I had to try out the G-Ki. But you knew that, right? ;)