Sep 24, 2008

Review: Hardwood Dildo by Hans

I bet about half of you are thinking “a dildo made of wood????”. I did. Then I read a few reviews from other bloggers and then I looked at his site and thought hmmmm….yeah, that could be great.

The Facts:

First, get all thoughts in your head regarding splinters and rough edges OUT.

Each dildo is finished with at least five coats of Salad Bowl Finish, a food-quality varnish. The finish seals the wood, making them safe, waterproof, and natural-feeling. (more FAQ‘s)

It’s -pretty-, you see the grain of the wood with a nice gloss to it. He never uses stain, just happens upon some really cool woods that look great. The really cool ones, like mine which is purpleheart, are limited. He makes these out of scraps of wood leftover from furniture and other big projects, mostly given to him. One day, Hans saw a piece of walnut, and like most woodworkers/woodartists, the raw piece of wood kinda spoke to him…..wood tends to carve itself in a way…you see what should be done with it before you really start. He went to work, fashioned a dildo; the little woman loved it (of course) and down the road he started doing it for the public, once he realized he was not alone in this niche of wooden sextoys.

You’re paying for a high quality dildo here – each one is unique, they take 3-10 hours of time to craft by Hans, and there’s so many wonderful properties. They’re waterproof thanks to all that varnish ( for play though, not for cleaning). They’re really easy to clean. You can use any lube type you want. Also, if you have a specific style/size in mind, he’ll make it custom from the more common woods. My only request of Hans would be a few more with good girth to them. I’m a size queen when it comes to dildos ;)

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My Toy:

Mine is the Purpleheart #269 (you can view previously sold toys on there to see if there’s a past style you really love). Now, judging by the soft ridges one would assume that the thinner end is meant for insertion. That’s NOT why I picked this one. The ball end is 1.9″ around. Come to mama *drools* Ok actually I bought this to have more toys in my collection that pack a punch girth-wise, for a certain someone (or whomever gets there first) to use on me before attempting to fist me for the first time.

It wasn’t as hard to wiggle in as I thought. The wide end was delicious on my gspot. I’ve been fucked with it, it’s been rocked against my g-spot, and I’ve let my pussy just grip it as I shudder to orgasm with the assistance of the might Hitachi. Oh and….the Hitachi? I let it slide down, and held it to the wooden dildo….vibrations transferred VERY nicely. Another nice thing about my particular style is I found out it’s short enough that I can go sit down in a desk chair with it buried in me.

The orgasms I had with this thing and the Hitachi (I’m not a dildo-only girl, for the most part) were of the OH FUCK variety. My mouth forming a wide silent “O”, eyes rolling, heated flush spreading across my pale skin….my cunt clenching it’s first contraction around the solid ball followed by a deep lusty moan. I came so hard that I usually had to wait a minute before I could pull this thing out. It’s currently my favorite dildo.

Seriously….this should be a priority consideration for seekers of high quality sex toys. When you talk to Hans, you’re really dealing with -him-, not some company. I know that when I can afford a custom one from him, it’ll be my new favorite. If I had to create one now, it would be very similar to the Pure Wand, with one very very thick side and one regular thick side, in a pretty deep-toned wood with depth to its grain. I’m truly in love with the purpleheart wood but I fear his supply is gone of that. The deep Ziracote is nice. Black Mangrove was beautiful but appears his supply of that is also gone. Bottom line: if you see one you love, in an uncommon wood – buy it right away.

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Aug 31, 2008

Posted by Lilly | 7 Comments

VibeReview: Hitachi Magic Wand: Oh my my, Oh hell yes

She’s standin in her underwear
Lookin down from a hotel room
Nightfall will be comin soon
Oh my my, oh hell yes
You’ve got to put on that party dress

I think you guys already know that I like this one. It’s intense but in a really good way. Yes, sometimes it’s a bit much *even for me*, but man it can be soooo good.

Let me back up. I’ve never seen one of these before. I know, I’m sheltered. Even though I’ve read all about it and it’s retro look, I wasn’t prepared. I laughed at the box and laughed even more as I pulled it out. It looks ridiculous, but who the hell cares.

The Hitachi (and aptly named) Magic Wand. It is, indeed, magic. There are two speeds. “Oh my my” and “Oh hell yes”. For the sensitive lasses out there – don’t bother. Go for the Miracle Massager. This one would make you cry.

Orgasms with the Hitachi are finicky with me. It’s either a record-breaking 1:47 seconds the-crowd-is-cheering sort of thing, or it’s just too much and my clit won’t break and submit to it. The Hitachi has many uses. It truly is great on the back. I’ll give them that. It can make any stationary toy into a vibrating machine. I’ve heard it can do lovely things to rope when you’re all trussed up (perhaps someone will show me the joys of that particular use…)

Here’s the deal. It’s kinda large. It’s kinda heavy. It plugs in, so there’s no batteries to waste and that means it’s super-powerful. If you are prone at ALL to squirting, you will want to cover the head and such with a condom – you’ll understand why when you see it. It’s made of plastic and PVC, so condoms are good if you’re at a play party and sharing. (And please do share, if you happen upon a Hitachi-virgin, initiate them into this world. It’s your civic duty.)

My first playtime with this guy came the night it arrived. What, you didn’t think I was going to ignore the toy I’ve been wanting for months and months now, did you?? You know me better! I can no longer recall which one of my boys I had been talking to, who had been getting me worked up….perhaps it was K, but things have changed between him and I (since R, I think), and things don’t “go there” very often anymore. Anyways. I sat here chatting with him, idly fingering my clit…didn’t want to just thrust the Hitachi on her, poor thing, would have been quite the shock! I plugged it in, sat here at my desk with legs spread wide and resting on various furniture items, and turned it on low (i.e. Oh my my). FUCK that felt good. Within literally a minute and a half, I felt the telltale spreading of full-body tingling. I clicked it over quickly to high (i.e. OH HELL YES) and 20 seconds later I was coming. Hard. Flushed and shaking. I clicked it back over to low to ride it out, made myself keep it there until my cunt stopped throbbing for the most part. 2 minutes.

I predict that for women who have a more prominent clit than I (mine requires a bit of exploration, some, like my friend Sarah are out and proud “Hi, I’m Sarah’s clit!” As she likes to explain it), they won’t even need to disrobe to orgasm from this thing. And as AlwaysArousedGirl put it once, this is not a toy you make love to. This is not a toy you use and abuse, let it wring the orgasms out of you rapid-fire, when you are in deep need of a good hard screaming O or three. Or pressed for time.

The downside? It gets warm. Nay, hot. If used too long, that is. Let the poor guy breathe in between orgasms/people, for a few minutes.

Plain and simple, people: Unless you come at the drop of a hat…unless a finger to your clit triggers orgasms in a minute or so…BUY THIS VIBRATOR.

Go. NOW. Buy it.

Remember the G-spot attachment for the Miracle Massager? With some lube and patience it’ll eventually go over the head of the Hitachi. And it felt pretty damn good. It’s not meant for that toy, but I did it anyways. One warning if you do it yourself – don’t push it ALL the way down. Leave just a smidge of room. The Hitachi got hot enough that it every-so-slightly melted it where it touched it at the top of the Hitachi head.

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