Dec 192010

My mind wandered the other day, thinking about my upcoming trip in April.

I think I’ll ask her to bring a skirt for sure. And maybe a dress. You know….easy access. Will it be too cold in early April for the hotel’s outdoor pool to be open? I conjured up a few naughty things in my head of pool activities. Pity there’s not an indoor one.

Maybe we’ll go drive somewhere and park and mess around in my back seat. Two chicks wearing nothing but easy access dresses, making out in the back seat…I wonder how far we’ll get before we’re spotted in the bad sort of way and made to leave wherever we are?

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Jun 072010

I no longer consider myself “bicurious”, and I haven’t for a number of years. But some days I still feel that way,  due to a lack of even one good Girl Date.

I’ve been with women sexually…..less than a half dozen, all encounters that happened through either planning to have sex or something similar. I’ve never actually *dated* a woman. Not for lack of trying! I had one encounter, once, that had a possibility of being….well, I don’t know. I’ll never know, because it was cut short. With the exception of that woman, for a few moments, I don’t think I’ve ever flirted with a woman face-to-face. Internet? sure. lots! I’ve even had dates with said women with mixed results.

Back in the heyday of Myspace, I met a few girls that I’d randomly friended on there (because they listed themselves as bi..yes I admit it) and had flirted with for a few weeks online. Flirted and became friendly with. The Goth girl was awesome; we got along famously, like the start of a great friendship. But I couldn’t detect any flirting! Do women flirt differently than guys? And I didn’t know how to be flirty with a woman. It seems different, somehow. In the end, the relationship failed for many reasons. One of which was that we lived an hour apart and she didn’t drive. Another date went horribly because at least for me, there was no attraction in person. It wasn’t her looks, it was her personality and the way she spoke. Too young, too um well that’s not politically correct so I won’t say it.

I went out with a girl I met on Okcupid last year. Again, it was like two friends hanging out. I mentioned her here very briefly (and she even let me put her up as a secret guest HNT!) and while she did kiss me at the end of our….date? hang-out? the atmosphere had still been friendly. So I was still left confused.

I’ve hung out with women I have a crush on, and guess what? No flirting. Either I’m undateable or the phenomenon Nadia (her friend, actually) calls the “Lesbian Sheep Dance” is alive and well.

I love women, but I apparently fail at dating them.

This needs to change.

Apr 222010

Am I fixated on things simply because I cannot have them?

I have found that in the last year or so, I’m not much interested in most men. It takes a *lot* for me to have an interest in a man (perhaps because I’m still comparing, and most are still falling short). Even then, that interest seems to want to stay firmly online. Oh sure my cunt might have some opinions and want to sate the need but then we will both just get disappointed because casual sex is just not satisfactory to me or my cunt.

In porn, both video and photo, I have little interest in the men. It’s the women who get my full attention, who arouse me. I seek them out. I flick past hetero couplings, bored. Blow jobs? Meh. Oh wait, close-up of her pussy? Her coming? Ok I’ll watch now. The only thing that interests me would be group encounters because I think that’s hot and I haven’t had much of it.

Oh and I do not like “porn” porn. I like homemade “amateur” porn. I don’t want paid actors even if it’s the alt/indie stuff and the orgasms are real. No I want the stuff that makes me feel like a fly on the wall. Female solos I love. Girly sex looooove. Exhibitionism/outdoor sex I love even if it is hetero, bc that’s my kink.

On one of my amateur pic sites I came across a link to something called Dare Dorm. It’s this site where college kids are urged to send in their sex tapes for a chance to win like 10 grand. That’s a fuck of a lot of beer and weed money, my friends. Now, granted, you’re going to get some annoying stereotypes. But there’s also some gems of true hedonism. Some tentative “for the camera” girl-on-girl that soon turns to “the real thing”. In one, the foreground girl couple are decent and one’s fucking the other (albeit a little blandly) with a glass dildo but it’s the background girl couple that put me over the edge……they’re lounging back there just watching their two friends get it on, watching the girl climbing to orgasm and their arousal takes them to each other. You can see both the foreground girls and the background. The background girls start out with some kisses and progress to more.

Where the fuck were girls like this when *I* was in college?!?!?! I knew I shoulda stuck around longer and gone against my better judgment to join a sorority *sigh*

In another video, my favorite actually, a drunken “suds rave” (mini, like 8 people) turns to kinda-sorta-orgy. In the bunkbed you’ve got couple A going at it the whole time on the bottom bed while couples B and C shake the bed from the top. It’s the top bunk who I loved watching because of the one girl. Sadly she left her clothes on the whole time, just shoved them around instead, I really wanted to see her fully naked. Yum….

She’s vocal and passionate and the action started with the other chick going to town on her tits. yum yum yum oh yes. Brown haired chick’s orgasmic moans were what made me come eventually (fingers! just fingers!) watching her get it from a guy and a girl. I can’t wait to tag-team someone like that, know they’re being stimulated from every possible angle. Well technically I can’t wait to just devour a woman, period. It’s been too long and I need to do it properly.

Apr 182010

So the other week I wake up to an email notification in my inbox from the kinky social networking site I belong to. I’m not very active there, so I don’t get a lot of messages. I’ve had a few recently……dominant men who make me snarl and snap, but they’re not worth mentioning. Everybody gets those sort.

But this morning in question I was fresh into my self-imposed hiatus and easily irritated. When I read the message in my email I had no clue who the sender was other than their name but could see that the subject line was “hi honey” and the message was merely: “nice titties sexy girl”. I logged into the site with guns a’blazin’ and was all ready to fire off a “fuck you” email for the offensive and assumptive content (I told you I was feeling cranky and pissy! I’d normally brush it off)

but wait.

It’s not from a guy…..

And suddenly, I was stopped. My first reaction was “hey that’s kinda…”. She appears to be a little butch but she’s in a relationship with a guy and her look isn’t “butch” just “metal/punk/raaaa” tryin to be a hard ass. Her profile though comes across very butch and gruff and Toppy and a few lines in it lead me to believe that anything I might do with her I can expect him to be involved and neither one of them appealed to me quite enough to get involved in a dual-topping session from them.

Mostly importantly though was that lingering word that I hate.


I hate it. It sounds like a word used to describe an animal, like a cow’s teets or a dog’s. Which therefore leads me to imagining it coming out of a uneducated redneck-drawled mouth and…….no. Just….no.

Tits is fine. Boobs is fine. But yet I also cringe at “boobies” unless its coming from a kid. The word “boobies” seems juvenile to me. Whether it comes from a man or woman, it just feels asexual. It’s a word that if said during dirty talk would feel like a bucket of cold water.

Of course my skeptical brain then sat there and thought about it and then wondered if that message did, in fact, come from HER. Was it maybe him controlling both accounts? Or just him logging in to her account on a whim? They are local, and if I cared enough I could figure out if she’s actually behind it. But despite a deep craving recently for girly sex or group sex, the intrigue just isn’t there enough for me to take the risk in trying.

Jul 262009

She will occasionally send me photos. Sexy photos. Cute photos. Beautiful photos.

But it is her husband that will send me the naughty photos. The downright dirty photos. The pervy photos.

Her husband will send me life-size close-up photos of her beautiful cunt and it makes my own cunt ache. It makes my tongue and lips ache to be on her. (It made me wet and it made me come hard)

Her husband will invite me to watch them over webcam, naked and beautiful.

While she is my friend and we are vocally mutually interested in each other, it is her husband that indulges the horny pervert in me.

Will I whisper in her husband’s ear, in the noisy bar, “Does your wife want to kiss me?”

Will I ask her husband, before I check for myself, “Is your wife wearing any panties?”

While her husband watches guard, I will sneak my hand up under her skirt and tease her clit while we’re surrounded by people.

While her husband kisses her neck, I will kiss her lips.

Before my lips assault her naked body, I will ask her husband what she likes. I will ask him to show me how.

Before I fuck her with one of the toys they have, I will ask her husband to guide my hand. To show me how deep and how fast and how hard.

Can you tell I’m anxious to meet my beautiful, sexy friend……and her husband?

Jul 202009

As we headed home from an afternoon of driving around and getting lost, we started driving past one of the many “adult” places on this stretch of highway. For some reason there’s a lot here, be it a store or a strip club. The stores all look shady to me, and I wouldn’t likely ever step foot in one, but there’s usually a car or more at nearly every one.

There’s one strip club that’s a little more out in the open, with regards to what is surrounding it. It’s right next door to a gas station, I think. I honestly don’t recall because I never pay much attention to what’s surrounding it. Especially this day.

It was a fairly hot day, not too bad, and late afternoon. I interrupted our conversation and whip my head around, eyes completely off the road in front of me, and stared at the girls washing cars outside the club. It’s clearly some event for the club; there’s a little canopy tent with a table under it and a handful of big burly men drinking and watching the girls. There’s about 4 girls that I was able to count in my split-second view. All wearing cut-off shorts and bikini tops. My eyes widen and I turn to him and say “Whoa! Can we turn around and go get our car washed???”

He raised his eyebrows and smiled at me, “Aren’t I supposed to be the one saying that?”

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~

I pulled into the parking lot. The girls were working on two cars, parked in front of the building which faced the highway. Pretty close to the highway, too. There’s no more room left there so I just slowly come to a stop as they all notice our car. I bet they were wondering if we were lost since I was the one in the driver’s seat. One comes over to my car as I put the window down all the way. She leans in, forearms resting on the door; she’s right in my face. She asks if we’d like to get our car washed, they’re doing it for free today. I just smiled and said “Sounds great”; she told me to pull up a bit and I parked to the side of the building.

He looked at me like I was crazy. I think I did suffer a moment of temporary insanity. Between the traffic on the highway and the men (whom I wouldn’t like gawking at me while naked, ew), I started feeling really self-conscious and wondering what the hell I just did. Too late, I realized, as a cute brunette sashayed over with various rags and towels and a bucket of water. She smiled and dove right into the small talk; I think she asked where we were from, what we were doing in the area but I don’t honestly remember. I was too busy watching her.

God she was good at this. The right combination of sorority girl car wash and Playboy Bunny car wash. Meaning, sexy and flirty and provocative but not so over the top that I felt like I was in a porno. We were, after all, 20 feet from the highway and 50 feet from another business so things had to be…..clean. I quickly realized that she probably wasn’t wearing panties under those very very short cut-off denim shorts. I think I stopped breathing as I stared at her ass when she bent down to scrub a tire or something – she bent at the waist and kept her ass in the air. Thoughtfully pointed right in our direction. The seam (which was about all that was left in the crotch of her shorts) pulled and wedged itself in the crack of her ass and the slit of her pussy affording me a view that couldn’t be rated PG-13. Suddenly I realized she was looking back at me expectantly. I startled and said “I’m sorry, what?” because I had no clue she had even asked another question. She just smiled like the cat who got the canary and continued on working.

As she quickly washed the car I was rewarded with continuous glimpses of as much as she could get away with out there. Ass cheeks and flashes of her shaved pussy, and a bikini top that had a lot of trouble keeping her properly covered. Somehow the part that ties around the neck managed to work themselves loose so that anytime she bent over all the way the tiny little knit triangles fell away from her breasts just enough to show nipple. If you were looking. And I was. Staring like a dirty old man, in fact. I don’t think I’ve ever concentrated so hard on hoping for a “wardrobe malfunction”, for the damn thing to just fall off entirely.

In an all-too-short blur of time, she finished up. He got into the passenger side while I shyly smiled at her and somehow managed to ask what nights she danced here. I assured her that we would be back.

“After the wonderful little show you gave me, I can’t wait to see the real thing. But please don’t try to tell me this car wash was free.” As I stared at her body trying to find a lucrative place to tuck the $10 bill, she stood a little closer to me but made no move to take that money from me. She smiled when I finally tucked it into the tight portion of strap in between her breasts; my fingers grazed cleavage and I boldly let them wander on over to her breast. When I looked at her she just smiled bigger, so I pinched her hard nipple in between forefinger and thumb. Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment and then I pulled away.

“Yes, we will be back.”

And with that, we left and continued for home.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~

*sigh* I wish. Instead we kept on driving and fantasized the above. If only, if only.

Now then, who’s going to take me to a few good strip clubs? I’ve got a couple fantasies that I need to get working on making real, the sooner the better!