Mar 082012
 

I used to believe wholeheartedly that online relationships – relationships of all varieties including platonic – were not only feasible but wonderful. I used to believe that one could get to know a person on a deeper level through online chats and emails; sometimes things are easier said when we’re staring at a computer screen and not fearing the judgement in the eyes of the other. But it’s taken the irrevocable loss of someone I used to write a lot about here to make me realize that nothing is easy online except lying and faking it. In person there are “tells” – a lack of eye contact, the direction a person looks when they answer you, fidgeting, etc. Online? The right sort of confident person could have you believing they’re an alien given enough time. There are two inevitable circumstances that occur when we’re in the midst of a happy online relationship: ~We see/hear/read nuances

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Aug 102011
 

You know how very occasionally someone will surprise you? Yeah. I had that happen recently. A friend who just got separated from a passionless marriage is suddenly behaving like a 23 year old. Or, rather, how we SHOULD have behaved when WE were 23. Or 21. Good for her. She suddenly opened up like never before we when the talk of sex rolled around I admitted to the very first person from my old life that I have a sex blog. Did I give her the address? Fuck no, LOL. But we discussed her newfound fetishes, her sex drive, what she likes….she kept saying “You’re gonna think we’re freaks” and all I could say was “Trust me honey…..you have no idea how normal you probably are. I’ve either done it, thought about doing it, wanted to do it, or read about it on FetLife”. But it was nice. It really was. She’s never owned a

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Jul 142011
 

I wouldn’t say I’m using Okcupid for dates, per se, right now. I’m just not in a date-like frame of mind anymore it seems. But I AM actively using it to find like-minded friends, even friends with no chance of having benefits on the side. That’s my preference right now because I need like minded friends, live and in person, because I really really badly miss my bubble. There’s people on OKC who answer a lot of questions, and people who don’t. All I can hope is that they’ve answered the ones that are important to me; the ones that make or break it. These answers have saved me from big wastes of time; once, I didn’t quite listen to the answers and had a 3-month waste of time. These questions help me weed out people who would find my looks or my availability status to be less-than-ideal. I’ve actually had guys still hit on

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Aug 302010
 

This post? Not about teh sexy. If you come here solely for that, this is fair warning that you can safely skip this post. I’ve been living in abject fear for the last 3 months. The occasional moment of relief and self-pride, but honestly…..not much of it. Constant fear……of failure. Fear of tempations I won’t be able to resist. Fear of self-sabotage. Why? I joined Weight Watchers. After a few health problems cropped up that may or may not be weight-related, combined with the utter disgust in the plus-size clothes market, I decided to lose weight. I never thought it would be easy. I knew going in that I have food addiction issues not much different from a drug or alcohol addict. Except….I can’t just avoid bars and get a new set of clean-and-sober friends. I’ve broken down in tears numerous times. I’ve completely lost my shit because I wanted something and knew I couldn’t

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Jun 282010
 

Ask any heavy woman and she’ll most likely admit to have some (or many) moments of feeling a perceived shame against her, just for her weight. I say perceived because the majority of people are not rude enough to say to your face how disgusted they are by your excess fat or your healthy appetite. And by “to your face” I mean in person. Bloggieland gives many people false bravado and arrogance. Why do we assume they’re giving us the body-check-glance and thinking all sorts of negative things? Probably because of the internet, to be frank. Because we can read their thoughts that they feel safe in saying to the faceless nameless crowd. Perhaps some overweight women were also overweight in the years of primary school and high school, when children can be downright mean. We might feel like shit when we realize we’re the largest person in the room. We might purposely under-eat when

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Jun 172010
 

Two years. 500 posts. 5700 comments. 386,000 visitors to my site. ~1,000 subscribers to my feed. 80 sex toy / sexy fun items reviewed. 4 trips to NYC, 1 trip to Seattle, and 1 upcoming calendar. 3 projects – e[lust], the sex blogger co-op and toyswap network. Countless awesome peers, acquaintances, friendlies and supportive friends that I wouldn’t have without this blog? Priceless. I’m in a different place than I was a year ago. Some things for better, some things….not. But I’m still grateful. I’m finally able to do things like my side projects to give a little back to the community that’s given me so much. I’m still learning, I’m still growing. I’ve hit some very recent number milestones and I’ve got this mild obsession with numbers and statistics. The 500 posts and just last week hitting 1000 readers tickles me. Thank you for having me. On a side note, if you’ve happened to

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