Feb 052010

You know how sometimes you don’t realize something as being true until it comes falling out of your mouth with no premeditated thought? Writing is like that, for me. It can be how I work shit out. So I handed in a few posts to Edencafe recently and they decided to run with my little theme and post them all on the same day. It’s Dangerous Lilly Day!

Baby steps this week, one day for lunch I chose a green salad with a half cup of tuna salad on top, and a cup of light yogurt. Two months ago would have found me having the reuben. Was the tunasalad the best choice, when you consider the mayo? Probably not but I didn’t use dressing, and I just can’t eat naked greens. I’m sorry, I can’t make drastic changes and expect it to stick. I bought myself another gelato pint last night at the store. Combine a somewhat-humorous threat by my hub and my own attempt at convictions and I ate only 1/4 of the container.

Then this morning in my email I see a pingback hit on an old post that was basically food porn, where I waxed romantic about Fettucine Alfredo and perhaps grilled cream cheese sandwiches, featuring photos of gorgeous decadent food that I love. Food that I don’t eat every day or even every week. But oh horrors of horrors it’s a FATTY talking about her love of good food. I can’t do that, it’s “disgusting” or so this man claim. I will not link to his post here, I did on Twitter but I won’t give him traffic from this site. He linked to that post and he (without asking of course) re-posted yesterday’s HNT photo.

“She is a blogger who talks about her sex life and how she loves being a fat ass. I will admit that some of her stuff is pretty sexy…until you see her”.  He goes on to show that photo and says how the rest of me “must be a mess” and invited his readers to try and find a photo of my ass as proof, he claims to have spent 5 minutes searching but apparently couldn’t stomach any more. Funny, isn’t it, that my statcounter shows he spent a lot more than 5 minutes saw a lot of photos. He didn’t *read* anything recent though because he says that “Being fat isn’t healthy. It isn’t a lifestyle choice. It is just laziness.” I’m listed as his Freak of the Day because I  both aroused him and disgusted him. I feel bad for him, kinda. I bet he feels guilty when he jerks off 3 times a day, too, and isn’t dating. Most of his site is based on making himself feel better by finding other people to rip apart.


These posts at Edencafe? I’m kinda proud of these but oh be ready for a little conflict in inner voices ;) I’d appreciate hearing your thoughts on these, either here or there.

From the post “Caring about Myself“:

I’m saying I care. About me. About not scaring those who love me and worry about my health. About not wanting to be in such pain and if taking better care of myself health-wise might have an affect on the pain, then it’s damn well time to step up and do it. I have to.

From the post “Pleasure in Food: Finding a balance between yum and healthy“:

Fat, glorious fat. It gives flavor, it gives divine texture. Food that you enjoy with every fiber of your being, food that makes you involuntarily say “Yummmmm” as you eat. Food being referred to as “better than sex”. Foodgasm, my favorite word. Food, glorious food. It makes mouths happy, it makes *brains* happy because of the endorphin rush or whatever. At least to me and those I call favorite people!

And then I got really angry when I started thinking about diet foods. From the post “Foods, Force feminized!”:

Put on your thinking caps here, close your eyes and imagine all the yogurt commercials you’ve seen recently.
Got it?
Now then – where are the men?
Oh look, there’s a man – wait, no, not really. He’s eavesdropping on his wife’s ambiguous phone conversation about yogurt-porn and all these gorgoeous flavors she’s eaten lately. Key Lime Pie! Apple Turnovers! And, I’m losing weight! Where’s hubby? Like the dipshit that media plays him up to be, he’s digging through the fridge looking for these yummy desserts and oh teehee he’s like totally not getting it that it’s really the yogurt right in front of him that she’s talking about! Oh, the hilarity. Silly man. Yogurt is for girls!

Edit: You can’t change mean people, you can’t make them see the light.

Jan 172010

Cold, creamy, sticky, sweet, thick, white….dripping down his cock, being lapped up by my tongue, running through my fingers…

Hmm I think I’d better back this story up a few paces.

So there I was, doing a “quick” grocery trip for the “necessities” (how do these trips end up costing $80?) and I’m heading down the frozen foods aisle to the regular ice cream that my hub enjoys. When I am magnetically pulled to a case by the sight of this beautiful, jewel-toned container of frozen goodness:


I stand there, mouth agape, as if I’m staring at a beautiful woman. But no, it’s gelato and sorbetto. In what could possibly be the most ingenius packaging, ever. Clear plastic screw-cap jars. Everything else in this whole aisle is in a printed cardboard tub, except for this brand which just screams “fuck me”.

I mean, “eat me”.

Oh that’s no less provocative, either. Screw it.

I thought about it, I weighed the cost and the calories and the fat. I nearly walked away twice but only got two steps past each time. Finally I chose the Tahitian Vanilla Bean because, as kinky as I may be, I have a deep affinity for *good* vanilla bean concoctions. Had the ruby-red sorbetto been my beloved Strawberry instead of Raspberry, I’d have picked that instead. And so fate sent home a pint of Tahitian Vanilla Bean Gelato with me. It called to me from the trunk. It whispered my name as we took the bags inside. Finally I gave in before hub could even finish putting away the remaining groceries; I cracked it open, dug my spoon in and was rewarded with this sweet, heavenly explosion of perfect, pungent vanilla beans. Quite possibly the best vanilla bean ice cream / gelato / white stuff to ever pass between my lips. My eyes closed in ecstasy and my moans halted my husband to whom I handed off a spoonful. He was duly impressed as well. We stood there sharing spoonfuls and trying to remember what dinner was supposed to be and if we could just have this, instead.

It served to be a good dessert.

Dinner ended with me sitting in my undies, eating gelato in sheer bliss. My husband got aroused watching me lick and slurp my spoon and somehow I ended up on my knees in front of him, smearing vanilla bean gelato on to his hard cock and then licking it up. Sucking, slurping, catching the runs, cleaning it all off from the underside of his cock head. Scooping it up from the jar with my bare fingers and coating it like Plaster of Paris.

He quite enjoyed the gelato, in many ways.

In my hazy, blissed-out state I sought out the company’s website to see if they made a strawberry sorbetto. Unfortunately, they do, but I don’t think my store carries it. After nearly swooning while reading about my two favorite sorbet flavors (peach and strawberry) I honestly and truly pondered paying double the retail cost plus $30 shipping just to try some.

I didn’t do it.

But I considered it.

talenti1 talenti2

Wouldn’t you????

Jun 282009

Random updates, random mutterings, you know me. Never linear.

Where to start where to start….

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Oh! The most lovely and talented VanillaImpaired made me a Little Miss Lilly!!! (from this post)


Ain’t it cute??

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Rori is doing her Top Sexy Bloggers again, but a little different this year. She’s taking on people to help judge the nominated bloggers and I happily volunteered! Yay I can’t wait!

So get your butts over to this post and nominate the blogs of your favorite sexy bloggers – keep in mind to list the blog and not just the blogger name. Unlike last year, the number of times someone’s blog is nominated won’t help push it up in the rankings. Just throw out the blogs you read and love, get them noticed!

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As I bitched about heavily on Twitter, 2 of my “Everyday” bras died last week within 14 hours of each hour. How annoying! One died while I was at work, and I had to deal with a sharp underwire poking and prodding me. I couldn’t get the damn thing out, so I had to resort to…….MacGuyver methods until I was able to get rid of the damn thing.

So Saturday was a dreaded day filled with angsty bra shopping. Is it easier for skinny girls with B cup tits, I wonder? I pulled off sizes close to what I have at home and NONE fit. Or there were no sexy bigger bras. I was near tears until I found out about a Lane Bryant outlet near me, and went. I picked up 3 nice bras which provide WOW lift and support! I’ll be doin a few HNT’s I’m sure. I also went to the evil evil Walmart (thinking, I’m only going to one department, how bad can it be??? Bad. Remind me never to go back) to look at their bras and handbags. I came away with two slutty sex bras in shades of red. They’re sex bras because they’re not really fit to be worn for 10 hours straight, and plus it might be obscene. Just a bit. You’ll see ;)

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I’ve added another decadent cooking method into my repertoire. Butter poaching. Yeah, its like it sounds. Its a somewhat slow cook method, as you’re not trying to brown it or sautee it. Many recipes call for the addition of some stock or wine or a combination of the two to bring up the poaching liquid content, but it’s still at least half butter. I was making a simple dish tonight, simple mushroomy-rice comfort food, and decided to butter poach the chicken breast with little other than salt and garlic powder (to ensure an even distribution of garlic flavor). It renders breast meat that is succulent and delicate, juicy beyond words.


Jun 142009

You guys know I’m a true foodie. I don’t think I need to go into how well food and sex can mesh and the similarities between them. And no I’m not talking about having sex with food, silly.

The first time a new partner/date stays over at your place for a night of debauchery the smart thing to do to truly ensure a repeat performance (other than being good in bed, of course) is to wow them the next morning with breakfast. If you’re cooking for a woman and she tells you she can’t eat stuff like this because she’s on a diet? Either kick her out or offer up some exercise afterward. Tell her that if she goes cowgirl style she’ll burn more calories ;)

So the last few weekends I’ve provided some great morning treats. Menu 1 can be a little bit lighter and hey it’s got fruit! It takes longer overall but a lot of the time is spent waiting on things to bake. Spend that time burning some more calories! Menu 2 requires more ingredients but in the end is quicker; this menu is also great for those who can handle more food in the late morning.

Continue reading »

Apr 132009

I really just don’t know many people, especially of the male persuasion, that don’t like bacon. Save for the obvious of vegans, vegetarians and those whose religion won’t allow pork

You see, good bacon – real bacon-, isn’t something that you just have the time or energy to fry up most days. Especially early mornings before work. So we have the tendency to buy the pre-cooked bacon (great price from Sam’s Club) and it takes mere seconds to crisp it up. It’s just not the same. It’s almost a whole ‘nother ballpark. But we got accustomed to it until one day at IHOP I ate the glorious thick-cut bacon on my plate and about died from the rich decadence of it all. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that, and eating sub-par bacon apparently counted as absence. I swooned right in the restaurant as I ate my bacon.

This weekend, we had bacon. Thick-sliced center-cut quality bacon. Oh and steak. And onions.

hashprep sammich

I made this steak sandwich recipe I found over at SmittenKitchen (no arugula, modified dijon spread which I hated) and accompanied it with homemade home fries. The home fries were accented with some of the glorious bacon, and then the sweet onions that topped the sandwich and went into the home fries were both caramelized in the bacon grease.  Cooked the NY Strip steak in my cast iron pan. Everything was just delicious, save for that dressing/spread which I hated but he didn’t mind.

Sunday morning was baked bacon. I heard about this last week as an easy walk-away-from-it way to cook bacon perfectly. And it was, it was perfect. Cookie sheet (the kind with sides) with a cooling rack set on top, and the bacon laid out on that. Sprinkled with some black pepper, 350 degrees for about oh….30 minutes? Somewhere in there. Till it was sufficiently crispy. Served with a french toast casserole that I used King’s Hawaiian bread for – normally you prepare these french toast casseroles the night before but I didn’t have the forethought for that. It was still tasty though! A decadent breakfast AND easy because I just assembled, threw in the oven, checked occasionally, and 40 minutes later we were eating.

So if I made YOU these meals….would you reward me?

Mar 082009

Today’s food discussion isn’t a new topic, I’m revisiting the *booming movie voice* Grilled Cream Cheese Sandwich! No sexy thinly-veiled euphemisms and double entendres in this post, I don’t want more angry Fleshbot readers on my tail.

I felt it was my duty to try out a few different ways to do this. I had mentioned last time that a strawberry and cream cheese filled one would likely work better with a more plain bread, an egg bread perhaps…like challah. To prep for my long weekend I bought all sorts of sammich-makin goodies at the store. I tried a different brand of raisin bread and I got a braided challah loaf. Some frozen berries, more cream cheese and a brick of Neufchatel cheese (less fat than regular cream cheese, and it’s a bit softer straight from the fridge) and one of the higher-end fruit preserves – I tried a Pollaner brand one that’s only sweetened with natural juices. I’ve been finding that I prefer my preserves to taste like fruit and the super-sugary jams and preserves really don’t do it for me. Now my favorite fruit spread ever I got from this home-kitchen party thing at someone’s house, I can’t recall the company name, it was a strawberry-rhubarb spread. A little more runny than preserves but holy fuck on a stick that was good. Would kill to have another jar for these experiments.

Anyways, I’m rambling. Onto the experiments.

img_12501 img_1252 img_1254

Challah Bread

In concept, it’s good. It’s an egg dough, a nice rich yellow tone. I just didn’t want a white bread for these concoctions, but nor did I want a heavy dense wheat bread. Unfortunately, the challah was just too soft to stand up to the filling. It’s good, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a very pillowy-soft bread. Eating any of the challah sandwiches proved to be a lesson in grace, lest I end up with strawberry-cream-cheese down my front.

Perhaps another bread to try would be a sweet one like King’s Hawaiian?

Raisin Bread

Last time I got the SunMaid brand cinnamon raisin bread. Good; a lot of raisins and cinnamon, but the swirls of cinnamon meant that the bread would fall apart a bit. Made for a messy endeavor. This time I bought Thomas’ brand. It’s not as cinnamon-y but it’s a thicker slice and a little more sturdy. It held up to a strawberry filling AND the combo tasted better than I expected. In fact, it was pure fucking orgasmic heaven.


{There is only one photo, you can’t see the strawberries inside because, well, I ate it.
No time for photos, I just ate it}


I’ve tried the strawberry preserves on the challah, but the non-fruit part liquefied – dripped out, made it messy, etc.

Then I tried a few pieces of frozen strawberries, drained. It’s not the season for really good fresh berries, so frozen ones worked out well. I used the kind you get in the sugar-juice. Yum. That was it, right there. Just a few pieces strewn about.

With the addition of a sweet fruit filling, I backed off on the sugar addition to my cream cheese. If you’re a big fan of straight cream cheese, you could get away with no sugar, but I still recommend the few drops of vanilla extract.


I’m still in research mode. It’s selfless, really, I’m doing it for you. ;)

I’d do a savory version but I’m just not a fan of unadulterated cream cheese. I gotta have a lil sweet and vanilla in mine.In my head a good pairing would be a few paper-thin slices of homegrown tomato, on less-dense wheat bread or something.

The bread has to be somewhat soft and a little dense, not chewy and not heavy.

The best combo is the plain cream cheese filled cinnamon-raisin bread (the Thomas’ brand) for something less sweet; for a sweet addition (that kicks IHOP’s ass with their strawberry stuffed french toast) add in a few slices of real strawberry-be it fresh or sweetened-frozen.

I swear to you, it’s one of those things that could be better than sex. It’s that fucking good. No, really, I oohhhed and ahhed and moaned and my eyes rolled back in my head and……yeah. Ahem.

God, that’s good.

If you make this for a new partner for breakfast or a 1 am refueling – I daresay you’ll have them hooked, and coming back for more of everything. What better way to top off orgasms than with foodgasms? To be able to give such exquisite sensory pleasure in and out of the bedroom is the mark of a wonderful lover.

{I also apologize to any Sweeney Todd fans for now planting that song into their heads all day}