Jul 202014
 

JimmyjaneForm4The Jimmyjane Form 4  seems to be suffering a case of mistaken identity. Everything it claims to be, it is not. 

I don’t have a good history with the brand; in fact it’s well-known that I will never recommend one of their products. I fondled their Iconic line at a Babeland a few years ago and was extremely underwhelmed. Don’t even get me started on those bumblebee-in-a-can Little Something vibes. I hated the Hello Touch and I wanted to set fire to the Form 3. The Form 6 bored me so much that I never found the fucks to give to review it. I tend to think that everything made by JJ is in the buzzy camp and very overpriced.  Yet I start to doubt my convictions now and then when I read a positive review. I start to think that possibly not all of the Forms are awful and I should give it a shot again. So when I got the Form 4 I tried very hard to pretend it wasn’t a Jimmyjane vibrator. I tried to ignore the ludicrous ad copy. 

All of my efforts failed. I still don’t like the Form 4. Let me count the ways….

Barry White?

I’d like to hand Jimmyjane the Lelo Smart Wand Large and the Minna Limon and the We-Vibe Tango and drill it into their heads that those items are rumbly. Those items could possibly be called the Barry Whites of vibrators. For Form 4 to self-claim the title is presumptuous and just dead wrong.  I tried the water test (which the Form 3 failed spectacularly).  I tested the Leaf Fresh+, the Lelo Mia 2, the Je Joue Mimi Soft, the We-Vibe Touch and then Tango, comparing to the Form 4. All of the vibrators I tested had more of an impact on the water than that of the Form 4. They’re all more powerful, with deeper vibrations, than the Form 4.

I personally respond best to deep, penetrating vibrations. Lacking that, I require pressure (so that the vibrations travel through flesh a little farther). It took me 35 minutes of play and porn and a lot of pressure to coax out an orgasm with the Form 4. The orgasm was a bit like a failed July 4th firework – You see the trail going up up up into the sky, you hold your breath and wait for the bang and burst but it never happens. It’s just a silent “poof” of nothing with a tiny light sputtering and spiraling to the ground. Plenty of people do not need strong, deep vibrations. I think you already know this about yourself, if this is the case. But if you’ve hated more vibrators than you’ve loved, if manual clitoral stimulation is a frustrating endeavor then let me lead you away from the Jimmyjane Form 4.  There is no “exceptional power”. It is moderate, in everything it does.

Flexible! G-Spot!

Form4FlexOn their site, Jimmyjane has a graphic that is apparently supposed to represent how flexible the Form 4 is. Um, no. “Form 4” and “Flexible” are in different zipcodes. States, even. With a lot of force pushing the head in one direction and the neck in another, I can get the Form 4 to be very slightly flexible…ish. This claim has to be the most far-fetched of them all on the Form 4.

Listen, my g-spot needs either pressure or fullness or firm strokes. The Jimmyjane Form 4 cannot deliver any of these. And if your g-spot is not located right near your pubic bone, the Form 4 isn’t going to reach. You’ve got maybe 3 inches of insertable space if I’m being generous. This coupled with the straight bowling-pin shape1 does just not make for a g-spot vibrator.  STOP TRYING SO HARD, JIMMYJANE.

More seam than a pair of legs circa 1942

Silicone-covered vibrators have a seam. It’s the nature of the beast. You can’t avoid it. But you CAN make the seam less noticeable. Jimmyjane did not. I don’t consider myself extremely sensitive but even I felt that seam during external use. Most people are more sensitive than I, and would likely be quite bothered by this. For ~ $145, I expect way better.

SO 2010

In my list of gripes, it feels very minor to gripe about the charging cable and the packaging but it irks me enough that I can justify it. It’s 2014, Jimmyjane. Time to slim down the packaging, use less plastic, make the charging unit more travel-friendly. It’s been a few years since I received a rechargeable toy with this giant A/C adapter plug. Many companies have switched to USB for worldwide compatibility and others at least made the adapter smaller.

JJForm4Packaging JJForm4Charger

It’s not all bad….?

You get a moderately powerful slightly buzzy waterproof vibrator that is stuck in between the lands of Clitoral Vibrator and G-Spot Vibrator. It’s longer than most vibes meant for clitoral action, which in my world is a good thing. It’s easy to hold. There is still some vibration sensation that travels throughout the entire vibe, so it’s not like ditching the smaller clitoral vibes for this gets you noticeably less tingly of the fingers. It comes in gray…..

….That’s all I got. I can’t find anything else good about it. I tried.

 Where should you go from here?

Vibrators that are more powerful and rumbly than the Jimmyjane Form 4: Lelo Mona 2; Je Joue Uma; Minna Limon; We-Vibe Tango; We-Vibe Touch; Jopen Envy 3; Je Joue Mimi Soft; Leaf Fresh+. Lelo Mia 2 is a bit more rumbly but about the same intensity and the same can be said for even the Lelo Gigi 2.  If you don’t really need something powerful, I think even the Gigi 2 (and it doesn’t rank super high for me) would be a better choice than the Form 4. More of a handle, better g-spot curve and head, and can be used externally. I’d suggest Je Joue Uma if you want a little more length and intensity/depth of vibration in a style that can be used for g-spot or clitoris. If it’s just clitoral you’re interested in, I’d recommend the We-Vibe Touch for a more pleasing vibration that still retains serious power within an ergonomic, silicone-covered body, or the We-Vibe Tango for the ultimate in deep, rumbling vibrations. Both the Touch and Tango have 4 intensity speeds so you don’t need to choose the super-powered setting if you don’t need it.

Bottom line is that I can recommend a whole host of vibrators that perform better and cost less than the Form 4. I can’t find any reason to ever recommend the Form 4 over anything else.

 

I’ve decided that I just shouldn’t trust Jimmyjane to deliver. After all, this is a company that thinks people are going to pay $40 more for the same vibrator that has 24K gold plated charging contacts – or, better yet, $3,500 for a platinum & diamond 1-speed piece of crap. They seem to have done away with their $4k bouncy house and $35k plane ride, at least. Between their ridiculous pricing, inability to make even one awesome vibrator, and the fact that they’re now owned by Pipedream (a company I wouldn’t trust as far as I could throw them, so it’s a match made in heaven) – this is a brand I simply won’t recommend. 

 

 

Save

  1. I think it also is shaped like squash, also not sexy or conducive to g-spot play
May 052014
 

WandsThe Bodywand Original is the latest in a long line of high-powered “wand massager” style vibrators meant to knock your socks off and modeled to rival or beat the power of the famed and fabled Magic Wand. Every so often I get in a reviewing jag of gathering up the recent additions to the wand vibrator category to see if there are any worthy innovations–or lately, if there’s anything out there to rival the Lelo Smart Wand Large. As a result, I’ve got enough wand vibes to host a successful orgy.

There are numerous styles in the Bodywand lineup, but the Bodywand Original is the plug-in electric version. Unlike the old Magic Wand, Bodywand uses the dial to ramp up the power. A lot of other companies use this design as well. The dial aspect does get a bit confusing in use depending on how you hold it. If you’re holding it for someone else, and the head is pointing away from you, then thumbing the wheel “up” or away from you will turn the motor down in intensity whereas thumbing the wheel “down” or towards you turns it up. But if you’re using it solo and the head is facing you, then it works as you would want it to.

WandHoldingSelf WandHoldingOther Wands3

Funny thing happened: as I grabbed my other electric wand massagers to do a comparison, I noticed something very startling; the Bodywand Original is a dead ringer for the Fairy Wand Original. The ONLY differences seem to be the way the Bodywand behaves on the lowest setting, the color, and the fact that Bodywand is “designed in Japan” but made in China, while the Fairy Wand claims to be made in Japan. The plastic body design and the head is utterly identical between the two. While Bodywand boasts a vague “soft touch” material for the head, I’ve found that it’s very similar to the material of the Fairy Wand head, only ever-so-slightly less firm. It’s got a tiny bit of give at the edge, but it’s nothing you’re going to notice in use versus the Magic Wand. Bodywand also does this weird gyrating thing at the lowest level where the entire thing visibly shakes. For some reason on the lowest setting it’s susceptible to vibration dampening when pressure is applied.

Is it powerful? Yes. Do I like it?

Nope. No thanks. Take it away, please. The vibrations are that mixture of surface-buzzy and ultra-powerful that leads to a numb vulva  for  a little while after use, and an itchy vulva during use. I had the extreme desire to stop masturbating with these wands and just relieve the itching with some very monkey-like scratching. Sure I was able to orgasm but it was a painful orgasm ripped from me like birthing a small baby. I forced myself to climax as quickly as possible just so that I could remove the damn vibrator from my vulva faster. 

What I’ve really been looking for is a more reliable and affordable version of the Lelo Smart Wand Large. I still love the vibrations it puts out, more than any wand ever and more than most all [tooltip tip=”But Lilly, you’re saying, these Wands aren’t internal vibes you silly! When you pair it with a cap that has a dildo-like protrusion it turns into one. I currently have the Vixen caps, Gee Whiz and Gee Whizzard”]internal vibrators[/tooltip], but after 1.5 years of not-frequent use, it started having problems. Others had problems right away. If Lelo would offer up a 2 year full warranty and lower the price, I’d still recommend the Smart Wand Large but until that happens I’ll hunt for something comparable. I really feel that the Bodywand Original’s vibrations are nearly identical to the Magic Wand. Powerful, but just not the right kind of power for everyone. Magic Wand, Bodywand and Fairy Wand all feel the same on high — they’re like a rhino on cocaine, where as the Smart Wand Large is like Barry White.  The power of the Mystic Wand can’t quite compare to these beasts, but it’s just a much more pleasant type of vibration, and so I’m able to orgasm easier with the Mystic Wands.  I can’t really compare the vibrations of the Bodywand to the Wahl 2-speed. The Wahl is just so unlike any of the wands, since the two speeds give such a different experience – one is like a hummingbird, the other like a woodpecker.

The head of the Bodywand Original is compatible with attachments meant for the (Hitachi) Magic Wand. It’s not silicone, so it’s probably somewhat porous, but thus far the material is much more resistant to discoloration and staining than my Magic Wand. However, these damn ridges in the head are super hard to clean sometimes – and at the wrong angle during use can actually sort of hurt. The company makes a g-spot and a “rabbit” attachment that will fit only this model of Bodywand; I tried the Vixen Gee Whiz on it and it works ok…not like the Smart Wand Large, but it’s ok. Although to be fair, I’ve had stand-alone insertable vibes that are more powerful.

Bodywand Original - Showing the difference in heads between Bodywand, Magic Wand and Fairy Wand. Magic Wand head is highly textured, it almost looks like a subtle brain pattern and as a result it looks very dirty compared to the others.

I’d still personally put the Smart Wand Large at the top of the list, followed by the Wahl if my clit can tolerate it, followed very closely by the Mystic Wand with a big gap on the scale before we get to the Bodywand / Magic Wand.

 

Thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Bodywand Original to review!

This is the first in a long line of wand massager vibe reviews coming up this month, all culminating in an epic Wand Off post. Other Wands I plan to review soon are the Bodywand Rechargeable, Doxy Massager, Shibari Halo Wand, and hopefully a PalmPower.