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in Ask Lilly
When guys email me for sex toy buying advice for themselves, one of the two topics is choosing a masturbator sleeve. There’s many different types out there. The infamous Fleshlight; the colorful ones that aren’t meant to resemble any part of female (or male) anatomy; and the larger ones that are molded from a porn star and are a big heavy hunk of rubber that is basically the whole pelvic region, like the naughty bits section was sliced out of a mannequin. A Japanese company, Tenga, makes a whole bunch of pricey one-time-use jobs (baffling, really) and then their piece-de-resistance: The Fliphole.
Time and again there’s only two I’ll recommend: The Fleshlight and the Tenga Fliphole. Yeah, they’re more expensive than a simple jelly rubber sleeve but you’re going to enjoy them a whole hell of a lot more. One concern I hear a lot though from men considering this is: cleaning. They don’t always want to get out of bed after jerking off and clean their masturbator – they, understandably, want to roll over and go to sleep. I get it, I do. Been there, done that. While I don’t recommend you make a habit out of it, you can let it go till morning sometimes. Just keep in mind though that lube and semen wash off much more easily when wet instead of dry.
DESIGN
Fleshlight: The sleeves and the cases are able to separate for both cleaning and to try out different sleeves with different textures and internal widths. The sleeve is open at both ends for cleaning and for suction adjustment. Fleshlight can be nondescript and the design is, obviously, meant to resemble a flashlight (but not realistically). You can get the sleeves in Beige, Pink or Clear. You can get the cases in a few different colors, too. The common is pink sleeve w black casing. The first Fleshlight I bought my husband was the all clear one, so that when I used it on him I could see what’s going on. There is a bit of a difference though in the materials, the clear sleeve is a little more sticky/tacky when not dusted in cornstarch. The colored ones feel more realistic.
Tenga Flip hole: There’s only two different textures with the Fliphole and if you want to try both you have to buy both, they don’t have removable sleeves. However, the Fliphole opens clam-shell style to make cleaning (and drying) easier and more thorough. Fliphole looks…..geeky and techie and not like a sex toy but its cool and unique enough that if someone sees it, chances are they’ll ask what it is.
CLEANING
Fleshlight: You have to clean these after use or you will ruin them in short order from what I’ve heard from various sources. (however one of the top male toy reviewers at EF says he has put off cleaning until morning a number of times and no mold ever occurred) Due to the material you can’t use anything other than water (yes, this means no soap), maybe some isopropyl alcohol if you really need it. Which means it can take longer since it’s a tube and you can only use water. You have to let it dry completely in a ventilated area or it could mildew. My husband wraps his up in a paper towel and then perches it upright in the case.
Tenga Fliphole: Splits in half clam-shell style and you can use water & mild soap to clean them. You can switch around the base to fashion a stand for the Fliphole so that it it can dry standing up and partially open.
HOW IT FEELS
Fleshlight: They say that Fleshlight feels more real compared to any other masturbator. You can let the sleeve (and even the lube) sit in a sink full of warm water to bring it up to body temperature. The material is phthalate-free but it’s also porous so it can’t be shared – it’s a softer material with more “give” to it, more like flesh. Fleshlight can more easily accomodate a larger variety of cocks in term of length, girth and sensitivity levels all by changing up the sleeve. The sleeves have different orifice entrances – vaginal, mouth, anal – which offer a different visual look as well as a slight change in sensation. You can vary the suction a little bit by the screw-cap base, having it off or on or partially on.
Hubby has now tried two sleeves – the Clear Non-descript and the Pink Wonder Wave. He got the Non-descript style first, and enjoyed it. I liked being there and watching, able to see what was goin on. When we first opened up the packaging though the sleeve was a little cold; combine that with the sticky and I was mildly squicked. The sticky went away though as soon as it was wet. He liked it; but required the extra tightness of his own hand to kick over that final ledge to orgasm. The non-descript and other “original” orifices are all the same tunnel style – smooth (no texture) and the biggest width. It’s good for guys who are really girthy or really sensitive. Even though Hub is girthy, he prefers more sensation so he ended up liking the Wonder Wave better. Also we both felt that the Pink material felt a little more realistic than the Clear. I would find myself fondling it, actually…….
*ahem*
Anyways. While he didn’t think that the Fleshlight was *better* than real live vaginal or oral sex, he did find it to be a very nice alternative to his hand. Not necessarily his everyday preferred method, but he really likes it. The Non-Descript was 3/4″ tunnel and the Wonder Wave is 1/2″. There are ones that are more snug (with no texture) and ones with more intense texture. The Non-Descript is rated a 1 out of 5 on the “Intensity” scale that Fleshlight uses, whereas the Wonder Wave is a 3 out of 5. For frame of reference, Hubby is about 1.75″ diameter or so and 7.5″ in length. For men that fall into the average cock size range in length and girth, and who like a more intense sensation, Fleshlight came out with their “Sex in a Can” line. The material of the Fleshlight is super stretchy and soft so that 1/2″ wide tunnel didn’t feel constrictive, just snug. All in all though, the Clear Non-Descript we’ll only use when I’m there; he much prefers the snugness and texture of the Wonder Wave.
Tenga Fliphole: From what I’ve read (we haven’t tried one yet) the material is a little bit more firm but the original Fliphole White still has a lot of texture to it. It’s not meant to replicate the feel of a real, live vagina but I’ve read/been told that it’s still a really great sensation. The Fliphole has three buttons along its length to change up the suction/tightness. You can make it more snug at the head than the base, more snug at the base than the head, etc. The newer Fliphole Black has a more extreme texture to it.
FINAL WORDS
Lube. Lubelubelubelubelube……and more lube. Water-based lube for the Fleshlight, Tenga and anything else made of silicone. Try out a few different viscosities of lube to see what feels the best, and always keep your lube nearby in case you need to “refill” during use.
And also….you get what you pay for. Saving money on the cheap ones, 9 times out of 10, will just leave you disappointed.
*You can also read my more technical review of just the clear non-descript which I wrote up in detail over at EdenFantasys.
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in reviews
The Jollies brand Thrust dildo is another in their typical style of oddly-shaped body-friendly dildos. Unlike the Jollie, Jollet and Rider though, the Thrust isn’t thick. While the other Jollies products I’ve tried were very firm sturdy toys, the Thrust is …. floppy. I can hold it by the finger handle and waggle it around like you wouldn’t believe. The silicone itself isn’t squishy or anything, just at the crux of the shape it’s….floppy. And I don’t know why.
I gotta be honest, I couldn’t get into this one. Trying to insert it (and I used lube for once) wasn’t exactly easy. It reminded me a lot of trying to insert a semi-hard penis. It’s the standard silicone that all Jollies toys are, which is a shiny sort of silicone that attracts even more dust/lint/fur than matte silicone. I requested this sex toy to review, from Edenfantasys, because of the largely positive reviews my peers have given it. Kristi and Carrie Ann both liked it. Everybody’s different, and my g-spot responds best to very firm pressure up into it. I couldn’t do that with the Thrust. Since it’s so floppy if I tried to pull up on the handle to give my g-spot more pressure, it just didn’t……well, it didn’t do much.
This Jollies dildo also has a handle with a hole for your finger. Just about the only part of the design on this that I can appreciate is that handle and how it’s curved to come back towards your clit. Dildos that stick straight out of me just don’t work. You could put a bullet in that finger hole instead and turn this into a dual stimulation toy. The upside I guess to the floppiness is that by pressing the handle part to your clit, the dildo part won’t go at a funny angle. If you’re using this with a partner and they want access to your clit, the floppiness means they can move that handle part easily without disturbing the dildo (like would happen with the Jollie)
If you think you’d like to try out this dildo, I suggest you get moving on it, pronto. I am very sad to say that Jollies, the company, is out of business. Jollies produced some really fucking innovative sex toy designs and it’s a shame to see them go. ETA: The company is reprieving itself and sticking around a little while longer! Yay!!
EdenFantasys still has the Thrust in stock as of this writing, in most colors. Many other Jollies brand toys are out of stock on the site, but my beloved Jollie is still there. On EF they listed them in two levels of density of the silicone, Firm and Soft. The one EF still has in stock is listed as the Soft but I don’t think it matters, the company technically did away with the varying densities long ago. It’s just your average silicone dildo, hefty but with a little bit of give.
in reviews
The bulk and details of my actual review are over at Edenfantasys, but since I can’t post photos there, I’m doing it here. This item is something that I did as a “buy-out” review, meaning I got a 30% discount so I paid for most of it. I’m super picky on what items I’ll actually buy simply because I know me….and I know I’m super picky. Nothing is worse than the feeling of “Oh wow, I just spent over $100 on something and I don’t like it” (hello, Eroscillator) but even us reviewers take risks. So you get two things here in this post that won’t be at my review on EF: lots of photos, and product comparison.
First I have to say this: I do not know why (Devine won’t give us details on the EF forums) but this is a Limited Edition case. The black one that I have sold out quickly at first and I feared it was sold out for good. I put an alert on the item and thankfully it was back in stock in less than a week. The black is now sold out again, and we’re not being told if that’s permanent. If you like this, and like it in black, put an alert on the item and jump on it.
This is my second Devine toy case to review, and my first one (the satchel) didn’t rate very high with me. It was essentially a bag with no pockets and a flimsy divider down the middle; I also took issue with their very cheap and easy-to-break padlock. Given the grand design of this case, I had really high hopes for improvement and in all but one area, there has been improvement. So let me get the bad out of the way before I show you the rest. The lock. It’s a very old-school luggage lock. The key is nothing but a prong shaped thing of cheap metal, and as you can see in the photo below it has bent already. Given the design of the lock though, that doesn’t matter, which tells me that the “key” is worthless. Anybody with something resembling this key can get into the case. Bobbypins, anyone? So it’s not a secure lock in the presence of adults. The lock just pushes in on a spring. Should that spring break it will never lock again but will hopefully still keep closed.
This case is a lot bigger than I anticipated. Which is both good and bad. The Hitachi easily lays down inside of it. You can over-fill the center portion because of the design of the lid. The divider is snug against the base of the case, because both are firm. The divider failed on the satchel because the base of the satchel was not solid. The divider can be removed, it’s velcroed in there. They give you a little mesh pouch there and an elastic band. There’s two mesh pouches inside the lid. Mine holds my flogger in one and the attachments for my Wahl and Eroscillator in the other.
This thing really can hold a lot of toys – I don’t have a high number of toys in here in these photos but that’s because I chose all big ones. There is, of course, a downside and that is once I had all this stuff in there? Holy fuck I could barely lift the case! Granted, I’m a weakling.
In the one photo I laid in there the entirety of the Black Label accessories kit for my Liberator Ramp & Wedge combo. In another here I’ve got an Impressions paddle and a 15ft hank of hemp rope. If you’d like to use this case to transport your play session bondage items, you could fit a LOT of rope and leather in here.
As for the other toys in there? Hitachi, Wahl, Eroscillator and Pure Wand on one side. A custom made dildo from Hans, the Nobessence Seduction dildo, the Jollie and a book.
So you can’t exactly talk about one sex toy case without comparing it to another. But yet, how can you when they’re so vastly different? For You Nymphomation cases are truly secure and locking, because they all use better quality padlocks. The bigger cases like the XL Toy Box that I own have removable pouches and little velcro-shut tabs. Your stuff doesn’t just lay in there in a heap. Of course the smaller cases by FYN they do just lay in there. The Devine cases are almost all decidedly very femme. FYN cases can be more gender-neutral. The FYN XL Toybox and ToyChest are not thick/tall, but this means they can fit under the bed. The Devine Playchest? It’s not going to be as easy to stow away, and it’s so pretty that it begs people to ask about it.
All in all, I’m happy I bought the Devine Playchest and I won’t always be using it for sex toys. I can see this coming with me on the train to NYC (but never would I take it on a plane and deal with TSA). If you think you’d like one, hurry!
in reviews
Aneros vs. Nexus Neo
A number of years ago, my husband decided to explore prostate play and his main purchase for this matter was an Aneros brand prostate massager, the Aneros Maximus. These types of toys aren’t exactly butt plugs, but I suppose that some could be worn that way. They have an odd shape to them that is designed specifically to work the prostate or P-spot; these aren’t mean to be thrust like a dildo so in that regard it’s more like a butt plug. Prostate massagers work with your muscles to slightly move and massage the prostate. He quite liked the Aneros; for solo use it had a big learning curve to get the major P-spot orgasms that the Aneros Forums talked about and it wasn’t a quick orgasm. But when he used it during sex? Whole ‘nother ballgame. Half the time he was able to achieve the mind-blowing p-spot orgasm with the traditional ejaculation orgasm and other times it simply made the traditional orgasm amazing. We used it during sex and blowjobs. And while he liked the Aneros, it wasn’t perfect in design. See that tab between my fingers there below? (The Aneros is white) That tab is meant to press against the perineum, to add prostate stimulation from another angle as well. But that tab isn’t very comfortable; when you’re talking about something pressing into you like that, a little more surface area is better and doesn’t hurt. The Nexus Neo make that portion wider and added in a metal rollerball. So yes, that metal bit rolls in the plastic housing – not that you’re moving the toy enough to really notice. It just means it glides along skin better.
Use of Nexus Neo
Prostate massagers aren’t for guys who enjoy the “fullness” sensation because they’re usually not very wide or long. They’re not meant to be. I can tell you from second-hand knowledge though that once you learn the ropes, these toys can give AMAZING orgasms and highly pleasurable sensations. Some guys try these prostate massagers and feel a bit underwhelmed the first time. Guess what? So did most women the first few times they tried g-spot massage. Just don’t be silly and give up after a try or two.
I know that when I use g-spot toys, I don’t always aim for a g-spot orgasm – many times the g-spot pleasure sensations are enough to set off an amazing clitoral orgasm; it’s like the two are directly tied together in that regard for me. They can be separate – but together? I see fireworks. And that’s how it is for him. Just like us trying to achieve g-spot orgasms, the p-spot orgasm is similar in its’ elusiveness. It requires some focus and a few tries and more than 10 minutes but it’s worth the effort. Since he found the Aneros I have been recommending this type of toy to friends and bed partners and the ones who’ve tried it? Love. It. Now that we’ve found the Nexus line (which we see as an upgrade), these are the ones I’ll recommend over Aneros. I can’t recommend the Nexus Neo enough, for solo play or couple time. They even have a couple of vibrating models that we have yet to try out, one of which is the Nexus Vibro.
Care and Cleaning of the Nexus Neo
These toys are made of hard plastic which is non-porous, easy to clean and phthalate-free. They’re super easy to clean with just soap and water (or toy cleaner liquids or wipes) and you can use any kind of lube you want. In the package is also this little plastic piece that’s a bit confusing if you don’t read the website or the manual (just remove the insert from the packaging). I finally found out that it’s so you can pop out that metal rollerball for proper cleaning. Since the ball rolls around in the socket, there’s a micro amount of spacing around it where fluids can gather (just like how a rollerball pen works).
Edenfantasys.com sells a lot of sex toys for men, and generously gave us this toy to review. Thank you!!
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in reviews
I’m pretty fond of my clit vibrators and I harbor a special fondness for my old red pocket rocket. It was the first clit vibe that I bought and shockingly it ended up being the best as far as power and vibration frequency. Since it’s only a cheapie pocket rocket though (I bought it for less than $10), I know it’ll die so I’ve been trying to find a replacement. While that need isn’t as dire anymore thanks to my beloved bullet vibes, I’m still interested in finding inexpensive sex toys. I keep my eye trained on this category of vibes at Edenfantasys and picked this one out recently. It’s a little bit pricier than I personally think a pocket rocket vibe should be but there are more expensive ones out there. At least this one has functions and is more justified in being over $20. I see plenty of single-setting pocket rockets that are over $25 and for as simple as these things usually are….that’s unwarranted. If I was able to find a kick-ass simple one for under $10 and a damn respectable one with bells and whistles for under $25….those other manufacturers need to take a closer look at things.
One thing I always hated about my old red one was that if it was “off”, it was in two pieces. There was no happy medium there. Most of the newer pocket rockets I’ve reviewed, even the simplest ones, beat that out but they never had the same oomph as my good old standby. I chose to review the Ultimate Massager by Nasstoys because they’re the maker of my old red one.
This one is a little more than just a pocket. Although it does still look like one and frankly there’s nothing in the mainstream market resembling these so it’s not exactly discreet. It’s small (5″ long and about 1″ around), so I can’t say that it would ever pass as a massager of ones neck or shoulders. Unlike most pocket rocket vibes, this one has 3 different power settings and 7 other functions. These vibrator manufacturers sure like their pulsing functions, don’t they? I’ve personally never really bothered with them. Give me straight vibration any day. But since this one does offer up variety, it will appeal to a wider range of people. When this is in the “off” position, the two halves are still firmly together. The vibration intensity is really decent, and the frequency is nice and low. It’s not *quite* as powerful as old red, but it’s close. Yes, for my clit, that fraction extra of power makes a difference. I would rate this higher than a few other PR’s that I’ve owned (the one from Babeland, their branded one, sucked ass and the plain white Doc Johnson one was nearly as worthless) and recommend it.
There is one seeming constant in the world of pocket rocket vibrators. Those stupid little plastic caps that they include. At least this one included a domed, smooth one which I actually kinda liked (surprisingly). But they all like to include ones with nubs. Spikes, even. Listen – hard plastic tiny spikes that vibrate do NOT belong near my clit. There is only one use for that, in my opinion, and that is in S/M play because it ranges from itchy/irritating to OW. Since there is no pouch included with this (or most any) pocket rocket, you’re likely going to lose those silly caps. One of my 4 has already become a cat toy. I think the spikes massage her gums when she noms on it.
I’d recommend this, unless you’re looking for a very inexpensive one or unless you have a clit o’ steel like mine. While I am not disappointed in it, it’s not yet going to replace my bullet vibe or my old red one. Keep in mind though, as usual, that this will indeed work for most women. And I do mean most, especially since it has three power levels.