Posted by Lilly | 3 Comments

I Don’t Hate the Picobong Moka

First, a little background on why me NOT hating the Picobong Moka is such a shocker

There are a lot of things I disliked about Picobong from the get go. The stupid name that reminds me of something childish; the beachy-fun website with their Hawaiian-like names; the toy designs that left a lot to be desired; and most of all their inability to call things what they are – they cutesy shit up with “C-spot” like we didn’t have enough of that with the oft-used “P-spot” – it’s not a fucking spot it’s a goddamn CLITORIS. The G-spot is the only genital bit allowed to be called a “spot”. Their first run included things like the Honi (a bullet intended for vaginal insertion, but the buttons were inside of you), the Tano (vibrating butt plug where again…the buttons are inside of you AND the seam scrapes your ass), and the Mahana (c-shape for dual stimulation, but rigid design makes it difficult to use).

Despite knowing I would hate it, I willingly reviewed the Honi. The packaging sucked and was ruined by the time it arrived on my doorstep; they included a very baffling 6-sided die with shapes of their sex toys instead of numbers making it nearly as useless as the faux-gold-plated Insignia brooch. I reviewed it because I kept seeing positive reviews on it and I KNEW that it had to be bullshit. I was right. It was buzzy and irritating and weak.

PicoBong Moka is Lelo Gigi’s College Cousin; The adult Skipper-to-their-Barbie, if you will

When I heard that Picobong had a new line coming out, I was unimpressed. Many of us were¹. Yet when I saw that the Moka looked a hell of a lot like Gigi at nearly half the price, I just had to review it. HAD TO. I figured I’d be able to compare and contrast with the Gigi until a fruitless search for days finally revealed that I no longer have the Gigi; I swapped it out to someone ages ago. Oops. No worries though, my friend Laura who runs a great Milwaukee sex toy store called The Tool Shed was kind enough to do a quick comparison for me and even snapped a photo of the Moka and Gigi side by side.

I read over my very old review of the Gigi and recalled why I didn’t quite love it, despite the fact that many, many women love theirs. I had 3 issues with Gigi:

1. It’s short. Too short for me. And that’s not because my g-spot is buried in the deep depths of my cavernous vagina, it is because I have big tits, a belly and short arms. The Pure Wand still remains my g-spot’s best friend in part due to the length and the extreme curve.
2. The location of the buttons was exactly where I’d rest my thumb as I held it during use.
3. The vibrations were decent and serviceable but not strong enough to matter to my g-spot.

The Picobong Moka fixes those first two complaints. According to Laura, the vibration strength and type is pretty much the same between Moka and Gigi. Moka is a little over an inch longer and the head and shaft are also just slightly bigger. Picobong’s bad habit of putting the buttons on the side of their toys proved useless for their little insertable jobs but on the Moka it’s kinda genius. There is no position in which I’d hold this and accidentally hit a button².

I know that a lot of sex toy users are reluctant to drop $100 or more on a vibrator. I would be, too. And while I think that the Moka is still a wee bit overpriced and I think it shouldn’t cost a penny over $50, it’s still a very good option for those on a bit of a budget. You’ll get the sorta-rumbly and moderately decent vibrations of the Gigi, the curved shaft and wide, flat head of the Gigi with a little much-needed length and improved button placement. Style-wise it’s more South Beach Party Girl than Southern Belle Sorority Girl (which Gigi so clearly is). And of course you’ll need batteries (2AAA) rather than the supposedly green aspect of a rechargeable sex toy but for many people those can also be positive aspects. So long as you always make sure you have a spare pack of batteries on hand (and really, what seasoned sex toy owner doesn’t?) then you’ll never be at the mercy of waiting on a recharge.

Oh, PicoBong. Is there really a ditzy California surf bum on your staff or do you make this shit up?

Like the Honi, the packaging is utter shit. The box is made of the most flimsy cardboard ever and you will not be able to use it for storage. There’s no bizarre dice included with the recent line of Picobong toys.

No, instead they’ve changed up the cap so that it has a slightly ridged texture and at the tip of the cap is a hole….for…a lanyard?? WTF? Am I supposed to wear my 8 inch vibe around my neck like the even-more-perverted-and-white version of Flava Flav?

   
Wait, no, I think there’s something else in this mangled box…. OH YES. It’s…..? Yet again, Picobong owners are forced to go to the site en mass to query “WTFISTHIS”. It’s a cute dangle! “Perfect for your phone, keychain, or whatever clever accessory option you come up with, our PicoBong dangles are a just-for-fun addition to your PicoBong experience.” IT’S SO FUN. I DON’T KNOW HOW I HAD FUN BEFORE THIS.

Picobong toys are covered in a silicone skin just like Lelo toys are, except with Picobong there’s more silicone and less plastic³. Then again, the silicone skin is merely covering up a hard plastic vibrator. And really, it’s the same for all Lelo toys. There is no plushness, no give – the entire toy is hard and rigid. So why are we even bothering with the silicone skin? Please, enlighten me. If you wanna get technical, ABS plastic is a hard material and therefore should be less porous than the so-almost-non-porous silicone. Yes, silicone is very, very slightly porous. And since these are vibrators, you can’t boil them anyways. The silky touch to the silicone skin feels like many matte-finish ABS plastic toys, anyways. Go ahead. Pet the handle of your Mystic Wand and then your Lelo/Picobong toy. See what I mean? And in the case of many Lelo toys, a lot of gunk can get caught in the demarcation line between the silicone skin and the plastic handle. So why bother with the silicone skin??

So, no – I don’t hate the PicoBong Moka. This halfhearted endorsement is, however, not to be confused with an endorsement of the rest of the PicoBong line. But if you’re looking for a quality g-spot vibrator like the Gigi without the luxury pricetag, I will fully recommend the Moka. Because like the Gigi, that wide, flat tip is also pretty great for external use as well. With vibrations identical to the Lelo Mona and Gigi, just as quiet as them too, and a lower price tag it’s really not a bad deal. You’ll get the standard Lelo warranty, as well: 1 year warranty, 10 year “quality guarantee”.

 

The PicoBong Moka is a silicone sex toy with plastic parts and is considered very safe on the material safety scale. As it is a vibrator, you should use only the wipe down method for cleaning. This sex toy was provided to me at a discount for my review, not that that changes the content of my review any.

 

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | Comments Off

Nobessence Fling – A Unique Wooden G-spot Dildo

The Nobessence Fling is an ergonomic, wooden dildo that goes beyond a simple handle – it actually has a hole where two fingers rest perfectly and comfortably. Fling is actually pretty discreet, too, since it doesn’t look like a dildo thanks to that handle. I would feel pretty good about passing this off as a trigger point massager – I have fibromyalgia and other things and trigger point massage therapy works pretty well for me; My bad spots are all on my back, shoulders and neck so I can’t do it myself with just fingers and the Fling actually does a decent job of that. If I were to travel with this sex toy I would feel confident that most people aren’t going to assume that it is a dildo. Especially since it is wood and the sex toy uninitiated usually don’t think of dildos being made from wood. The box that it arrives in is like all Nobessence boxes – padded on the inside and made from sturdy pressboard in two pretty colors – and can be used for storage (the sticker on the bottom is the only thing that gives away the sexy toy status and the sticker removes easily) but isn’t good for travel.

Fling is pretty small and is definitely a g-spot (or prostate) dildo. It is not going to provide much sense of fullness but it will do the job it was made for – target the g-spot. The fat bulbous head maxes out at just over 1.5 inches (but is not the 1.75 inches listed on the site) and the insertable portion is at most 3.5 inches. This shouldn’t be an issue for most as usually the g-spot/prostate isn’t going to be any farther inside than 3 inches (anatomy varies, so “1-3 inches” is considered the generic gauge). The way that the handle is made forces your hand and fingers to cup and curve a bit and if you hold it as intended this translates into a small range of motion that concentrates on pushing the bulb up and into the g-spot. Pressure combined with a little massage is usually a sure-fire way to get your g-spot to respond. The finger-hold can work if your partner is using it on you as well; they’ll probably want to slide it palm-side down (like a bad-ass set of brass, er, wooden knuckles!).

Like any Nobessence “sculpture”, Fling is beautiful. Glossy, shiny and slick it is made non-porous and body-safe by the coating. Check out the care & cleaning for Wood section on my sex toy care guide, and feel free to use any type of lube that you love best (but you won’t need much!) Directly from the manufacturer’s site:

NobEssence’s trade secret Lubrosity™ coatings and processes stem from years of meticulous research and development and meet USP Class IV and VI Medical Standards. Sculptures attentively encapsulated in Lubrosity™ coatings are odorless, may be soaked in water, and remain in body-contact for hours at a time – no waxes to melt away, no salad bowl oils to leach out or maintain, and no toxic petroleum distillates.

I won’t mislead you – Fling isn’t cheap – but there really is no other sex toy out there quite like the Fling and the quality of any Nobessence item makes the cost easier to tolerate. Provided you don’t drop a wooden dildo on a hard surface (it probably won’t break but if it lands right it might dent or crack it a little – in which case seek a replacement) it will last a long time. There is nothing in a Nobessence wooden dildo that will react with any lube or other toy material.

The Fling is something I’ve wanted for a long while and now that I have it I have something that will have a permanent home in my overnight bag – Fling is a perfect travel dildo. Small, discreet, easy to clean and it weighs practically nothing (5 ounces, I think?).

Just in time for holiday travels, you can shop at EdenFantasys and save – 25% off if you spend more than $100 or 30% off if you spend more than $150. Currently the Fling is priced at $138.99. If that’s the only thing you purchase it will be $104. But if you add on a drawstring toy pouch for $14.99, your order total will only be $107 (and shipping is free!).

 

This toy was provided by EdenFantasys
See also: Blogger Disclosure
Sex Toy Care & Cleaning Guide

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | Comments Off

Fairy Wand Massager Showdown: Electric vs Rechargeable

I seem to have amassed quite the collection of these “massager style” vibrators. While originally these vibrators were mass-marketed and intended for body massage (not orgasm) the obsession with their power has caused some companies to make sex toy versions that are not found in your local drugstore like the Hitachi Magic Wand or the Acuvibe massager are. I used to be a die-hard Hitachi MW fan. But over the years of reviewing I’ve figured out that it’s less about holy-shit-power and more about the type of vibrations. A rumbly, deep vibration that will stimulate more than just the outside portion of my clitoris is ideal. And it doesn’t have to be Hitachi MW strength to achieve that.

But, on to the review. At the same time that I was testing out all the Vibratex Mystic Wands I had two of the Fairy Wands to try out. The Fairy Wand massager line is a long line from a Japanese Company called Media Craft Inc. They have come out with almost an overkill in sizes – but given what I’ve seen the Japanese do with KitKats¹ and Pokemon, it seems to be capitalizing more on the “collect them all!” angle. I have the Fairy rechargeable wand massager and the full-sized plug-in Fairy wand massager. There’s also the Fairy Baby Wand (high-pitched, teeny vibe, USB-charged); the Fairy Mini Wand (plug-in, slightly larger than the Fairy Rechargeable); the Fairy Miniature Massager (either an attachable 6-AA battery pack or a more powerful a/c adapter); the Fairy Pocket Mini (rechargeable, slimmer handle than the Fairy regular rechargeable, shorter in size). Is your head spinning yet? Mine is. You’ll see them referred to in some reviews a little different. Some use the term “mini mini” for one of them, I can’t figure out which one. They’re all pretty much the same from what I’ve read; they’re all pretty powerful, most have that variance wheel for power, they’re all a version of pink and white, none of them offer any “patterns”, they all come in basic cardboard boxes with lots of Japanese text and with very chintzy drawstring pouches. The smaller ones are more “buzzy” (which buzzy + high powered can feel more numbing to your genitals and/or hand).

The plug-in style Fairy massager wand is best compared to the Hitachi Magic Wand in that both are large, both plug in to a wall outlet rather than recharging or requiring batteries, and both are very VERY powerful. Where the Hitachi has only two speeds, “wow” and “holy fuck”, the Fairy wand improved on that idea by using a dial controller instead. Think mouse-wheel. It acts like a dimmer switch, giving you many different speeds. The lower end is rumbly but yet still manages to be a bit buzzy. The lower speeds on the Fairy are definitely less than the Hitachi on low. And with the dimmer switch aspect, you can easily (almost too easily, sometimes) vary the speeds without ever turning it off. The Hitachi’s rocker switch goes “low” then “off” then “high”.

At first I thought that maybe the Fairy wand was a bit more powerful than the Hitachi wand². I probably thought that at first because it’s honestly been a long time since I’ve used the Hitachi. Side by side comparisons though show that they’re pretty dead equal when comparing their top speeds. Both also are loud, emitting that high-pitched weed-whacker like noise. So not discreet. Neither Hitachi or Fairy have the nice silicone head like the Mystic wands do, so cleaning/sanitizing/sharing isn’t easy. The Fairy wand heads are all hard plastic, with lots of ridges. Not the most pleasurable feeling on high. (also, a bitch to clean)

The Fairy rechargeable is a bit less “rumbly” than the full-size Fairy, but almost as powerful. Which makes the vibrations a bit itchy, to be honest. It’s loud as well, but lacks that high-pitched whine of the full-sized Fairy and the Hitachi MW. The Japanese companies like to have interesting rechargers, I’ve noticed. The recharger for the Fairy has a weird iPod-like plug for the massager but the plug to the wall is fun: You know how some a/c chargers have prongs that fold so that it’s less bulky when traveling? This one kind of does that except it folds out – so that the base takes up very little space in your outlet. Shown below is folded out and “normal”.

 

The full-size Fairy has a head that’s pretty darn similar in size and shape to the Hitachi MW, so attachments for the Hitachi could be used on it. The smaller Fairies have specially made attachments (which like to feature “nubs” – way to make an itchy vibe even MORE itchy! no thanks).

If you really like the Hitachi Magic Wand, then you will likely really like the Fairy Wand (unless you hate baby-girl-pink – their only color scheme) because it matches the power but gives more variance. For a rechargeable, the Fairy does pack more of a punch than the rechargeable Mystic wand, but in a less pleasant way for me.

SO. Super high powered is what you want? Go for the original Hitachi or the Fairy plug-in. Otherwise, I’m going to direct you back to the Mystic Wands: Superior looks and materials and a more pleasant-feeling type of vibration.

 

Thanks to EdenFantasys for providing me with these sex toys in exchange for my bluntly honest review :)

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 1 Comment

A Vibratex Comparison Review: Mystic Wand vs. Mystic Rechargeable vs. Mini Magic

 

You all know that I like comparing apples to apples, vibrators to vibrators – even if sometimes it’s like comparing a Granny Smith to a Red Delicious. The reason is because that’s what *I* want to read most in a review: How it might compare in vibration intensity and type to other toys I might own. Today though I’m taking on all three of the Vibratex massager-style vibrators from their more basic, and original, battery-powered Mystic Wand to the tech-savvy Mini Magic Wand that has a handy charger.

I would only classify the Mystic Wands in the “massager style vibrator” class, with their large heads and ability to pull double duty (you just won’t find them in CVS next to the Wahl); The Mini Magic appears to be a shrunken version, looks wise, but it doesn’t have the same type of vibration that the larger Mystics do. Are any of these as powerful as the Hitachi, the plug-in Fairy Wand, or even the Wahl original (on high)? No, not quite. To be fair, the Wahl Massager just really can’t be compared to anything else because both types of vibrations (low vs high) are so unlike anything else I’ve used.

Battery-Powered Massager-Style with Power? Yes!

I have to admit to not always being “green”. I like batteries in my toys. Sure I like cords, too, but I like batteries. You know why? Because I almost always have a bunch on hand and immediately my toy is ready for action again, unlike rechargeables¹. The original Mystic Wand uses batteries (4 AA) and gives an impressive level of intensity with that rumbly, deep vibration I love. I don’t find that my skin gets itchy from using it too long, like the Hitachi can. Another thing that I noticed, actually during filming for the video – that blue light isn’t just for pretty looks; when my batteries are dying, it blinks. But then, I can already tell they’re dying because I’d notice the lack of power.

Intensity from a Rechargeable Vibrator? Yes! Well…mostly

The Mystic Wand Rechargeable again delivers on that same exact rumbly, deep vibration and intensity. When you compare a 100% fully charged Mystic to an Original Mystic with fresh batteries it’s almost impossible to say that one is more intense than the other. It keeps up this level of intensity for at least one session on high, maybe two. The decline in battery power doesn’t equal a steady decline in vibration power. ² My black Mystic flashes purple while it’s charging (via standard wall plug) and goes to steady purple when it’s done. Another really good discovery: With a lot of rechargeable vibrators that I’ve tried in the past, I notice that when you press the vibrator more firmly to your body it immediately drops a little in intensity. I noticed that with the Acuvibe and a few others. This one does not do that. Granted it might mean you have less overall battery time til recharge, but it’s a very good thing for those who like the pressure. Another thing to note: Extended use will warm up the head³, but not nearly as much as the Hitachi.

Baby Wand = Baby Vibes? Almost

If you prefer more accurate pinpoint vibration, then you might like the Mini Magic Wand (they should have kept in line and called it the Mini Mystic, but I digress). It still has a good amount of power for a rechargeable – I’d say it’s almost as strong as the full size versions and a bit less rumbly. I can still orgasm from it, though, on full charge and high power. The neat thing about the Mini Magic is the charger that comes with it. Unfortunately, Vibratex has yet to get a handle on their English-speaking customers; the instructions for the charger are minimal at best. It plugs into a USB port and they give you a short cable that runs from that charger to the toy. It can only be charged via USB, at least with what they give you. When the Mini Magic is charging properly the light is a steady blue. Use time runs about 30-60 minutes unless you never put it on high power or apply pressure, in which case more like 90 minutes. But keep in mind not all of those 90 minutes are going to give you the same level of intensity as you had in the first say, 20 minutes.

How They’re Alike

• All three vibrators have the same visual style (just the mini is, obviously, a mini version).
• Silicone and plastic: The head, neck and control pads are all made out of true silicone; the body is plastic coated with a velvety soft texture.
• Splashproof: The don’t fully back up being waterproof but they are splashproof. This means that you can safely take it in the shower, but don’t submerge it. You can wash it under running water.
• Flexible Neck: Like any massager-style vibrator, the neck has some flex. Unlike the Hitachi or the Ideal these necks are encased in silicone. I always used to worry about the Hitachi neck being so exposed.
• Ridges on the head & neck: The neck obviously has to have ridges to allow movement. The head though….I will never understand this design method. I’ve seen it in many different types of vibrators. Ridges don’t add anything (to me) as far as stimulation is concerned, they just make it a lot more difficult to clean. Especially if you’re using masturbation as a means of relaxing enough to fall asleep and leave the cleaning till morning. Either way, I have to use my fingernail to go around the ridges (You could also use an old toothbrush).
• 3 levels of intensity and 3 patterns: The patterns are oddly not identical from model to model, most of them are not annoying. Foreplay, but not orgasm (for me).
• Clear plastic “boxes” not ideal for storage: These are the flexible-ish type of plastic, and they don’t stay shut very well.
• Storage bags: They’re not fancy, but they do the job. Simple drawstring closure, vinyl lining (think windbreaker jacket material), and a “velvet” flock that hangs onto pet fur and dust.
• Silicone that isn’t a magnet for pet fur and lint!: The silicone on these is different from the type used in mold/poured dildos and vibrators; it has a soft feel, matte finish and won’t attract fur
• Lube: Only water-based lube, please!
• Good size/weight: Even the full size Mystics are not really very heavy. Easier to hold/lighter than the Hitachi or full-size Acuvibe. Full size are about 8″ overall length, Mini is about 6″ in length.

Noise Levels

The Mini Magic is the loudest of all, but it’s not the vibration that’s loud – it has this odd rattling sound to all levels of vibration making it quite noisy. I checked and found that others hear the same rattling so it’s not a defective product.

Mystic Wand Original and Mystic Wand Rechargeable are the same in noise level of vibration – a lot less noisy than the Hitachi, not as quiet as the Wahl, but discreet enough under covers or behind closed door. Oddly though the Mystic Rechargeable has noisy buttons – the buttons on the other two are virtually silent, but the Rechargeable one has an audible click that is much more noticeable than the vibrations. I don’t like it.

Comparing & Contrasting, Pros & Cons

Both the Mystics have two buttons: The power button that turns it on to “low” setting, the second cycles through the settings. They both also have two lights: a slightly bigger, steady light that just tells you it is powered on, and then a smaller light that corresponds with the power level and pattern setting. Yellow, Orange, and then Red equally highest power. The power button means you can quickly turn it off.

The Mini Magic has only one button to do everything, which means you either have to cycle past the patterns, or press and hold for 2 seconds to turn it off. Only one small light which never changes color or flashes with the pattern. The charging port though which is silicone (and only a teeny hole) glows blue to let you know that the charging is working – although the control panel light stays on, too, steady all the time.

The heads are all too small to use any Hitachi-compatible accessory. However, the Mystics will accommodate a Tenga Egg stretched over them for either added texture or ease in cleaning / covering up the ridges. Handled with care, you could get a lot of use out of a Tenga Egg when used solely as a vibrator cover. Thanks for the reminder, Garnet – Tenga eggs are TPR, not silicone, so if you choose that route make sure you’re the only one using the Tenga egg as a cover. Since they’re not silicone, as I keep thinking for some reason, they won’t react with the silicone head of the Mystics.

Discretion: The original Mystic wins for discretion – it only beats the Mystic Rechargeable because of those stupid clacky clicky loud buttons. While the Mini Magic is more portable, it is fairly noisy.

Colors: Original Mystic has a black body and a white head. Rechargeable Mystic comes in either mostly-black or mostly-hot-pink. The only white portions are the neck and control pad. Unless you really have to have pink, though, I’d choose black on the Mystic. The Mini Magic only comes in hot pink for now and I noticed something – the plastic body can get stained. I stored it touching a black leather item, and there are now permanent black smudge marks. Since it didn’t happen to the part that touches my body, it’s not a huge issue but it makes it look dirty.

Traveling with the Rechargeables: For those who own a Lelo toy, we’re spoiled. They can be locked for travel so that they won’t turn on – Vibratex didn’t add that feature.

The Mini Magic comes with a unique charger: You can use it to charge other things. It has a mini-usb port and micro-usb that works with many cell phones, an iProduct style port, a 2.5 and 3.5 DC male end and 2 other odd looking ports that are not for any US-based item I’ve come across. However, you can’t charge more than one thing at a time, so don’t go thinking you can charge up both the Wand and your cell at the same time from it. The downside to this unique charger is that there is no A/C wall adapter.

Who won?

The Original Mystic Wand. Overall the least noisy and it retains the highest of high power for longer than the rechargeables. I prefer the vibration type and intensity over the Mini Magic Wand, although sometimes I do like the smaller head of the Mini Magic better. Original Mystic needs 4 AA batteries. For travel you can take out 1 of the batteries (to prevent it from turning on) and even put a spare set into the pouch. I couldn’t get the charger for Mystic Rechargeable into the included storage bag, so that and the noisy buttons are irksome. All in all though – if travel and the need for a quiet vibrator (and buttons!) aren’t high-ranking for you, I would still recommend the other two. They both have their good qualities and provide non-buzzy non-itchy vibrations.

 

Thanks to EdenFantasys for providing me with the Mystic Rechargeable and the Mini Magic Wand for review. The Mystic Wand original was purchased on my own just because I had to have it for comparison. Had to. Dedicated to sex toys!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 4 Comments

Review: Ocean Breeze Glass Dildo

First, an aside. I’ve been feeling lately that I’m not being a very “good” reviewer in that I’m not producing happy, sparkly reviews. Expensive, cheap, and everything in between I’m honest to a fault, perhaps. But I don’t review just to receive toys, I review so that others may know something about a sex toy before purchasing. So I can’t gloss over things, I won’t bullshit and I won’t be Glinda the Good Witch.

So you know what’s coming, right?

Yeah.

A bad review.

But this time I don’t feel it’s my fault (and I use the term “fault” loosely). You see, SSA Glass is the manufacturer of this dildo and other glass sex toys that EdenFantasys carries. And SSA’s first run of this dildo looked like this:

What I received is….the work of a drunken apprentice. And lest we chalk it up to a one-off, I’ve read at least 2 other reviews which state the exact same thing. The design has changed drastically, the quality changed drastically and it’s downright UGLY. In the original run of the Ocean Breeze dildo, those pretty little raised dots accented in red look like little jewels. The base is symmetrical and the dildo has a nice curve with some somewhat-realistic veins and head-shaping.

This is what mine looks like:

Razor burn.

Rash.

Disease.

In short: UGLY. And one of the primary reasons that people purchase glass dildos is because they are PRETTY. I truly can’t even stand to look at this thing so it doesn’t ever get used – even if the shaft had been up to par. Which it wasn’t. They changed the curve so that if you hold it like it should be held, the curve points away from your g-spot. Mine isn’t thick enough to make up for the curve issue with girth. The texture is irrelevant. Oh and those raised dots of red? Not all are raised dots. Some are just flat splatters of red glass, um, paint? I can’t tell what the red spots actually are. Colored dots of glass? There’s no rhyme or reason or pattern to them, the symmetry is gone. It just looks like a freak accident.

The packaging is nil, but as I understand it, that’s the case with all SSA Glass dildos. It’s up to the discretion of EF to include any sort of pouch – other reviewers stated getting one, I did not. Mine was simply wrapped up in packing paper. That’s truly it. Nothing else to tell me anything about the company or the dildo. Luckily all care information is on the site, or you can refer to the care & cleaning of glass dildos section of my site.  All of the standard tropes of glass toys apply here: Good for temperature play, you can use any kind of lube that you like, it’s body-safe, non-porous, etc etc yadda yadda.

But it’s so ugly, such poor quality, that I’d be dead embarrassed if anybody saw it in my collection.

I’ve talked with other glass dildo owners and others who’ve owned other SSA Glass dildos have had no problems as far as workmanship and it looking like the photo on the site. But you get what you pay for – SSA dildos are less expensive, which is why there’s no packaging. No frills of any sort, not even necessary frills like a padded pouch.

For a better g-spot glass sex toy in the same price range I’d recommend trying out the Bent Graduate instead. If you want the “pretty” aspect, go for the Color Tip Wand. Despite not hearing anything else bad about other SSA Glass dildos, I’m still reluctant to recommend trusting them as a brand. The change to the Ocean Breeze was recent, sometime in the last 4 months, and if other people got a dildo with the affliction of uglyitis as me then there’s something going on with the company on a production level.

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me