May 292010

One of my favorite sex toys to review are remote-controlled bullets. Well, calling them “bullets” is a bit of a misnomer, I guess. They’re usually egg-shaped. But I digress.

There’s a big reason why I love bullets: I can nestle it in between my labia and sit there, hands-free, enjoying the vibrations as they rumble on my clit. Mostly hands-free. Most bullets, most of the time, require my help to climb that last hill to orgasm by pressing it and holding it to just that right perfect spot on my clit. I’ve found that, for me, price has no bearing on whether or not a vibrating bullet will get me to orgasm. It’s all about the speed and type of vibrations.

The Vital Bullet is probably about as cheap as you can get. And about as powerful. It’s not in the dreaded “high-pitched buzzy” camp of motors that can leave me itchy rather than aroused. On it’s top speed it might very well be entirely too powerful for women with a sensitive clit. It’s made by WHK GmbH which means……absolutely nothing. The packaging is a cheap plastic blister pack with a cheesy half-naked girl on the insert card; there’s absolutely no brand name visible on the packaging. The package tells you the very basic details: “quiet”, “4-speed”, “powerful” and “100% waterproof”.

This bullet has an odd feature – the bullet can unplug from the top of the remote pack. I suppose this could come in handy if it were a name-brand bullet and you could purchase a replacement bullet-only (since that’s where all the wires that can come loose, reside) but for the low price of $9.95 for a brand new one?….why would you bother? If I had any other remote bullets with this plug feature I’d test to see if they’re interchangeable but alas, I do not. I’ve only found one useful reason to unplug the bullet from the battery pack – if it’s not plugged in, then it can’t be accidentally turned on should you find yourself in a situation where you’re traveling with it and don’t want it accidentally turning on (and you also left the batteries in).

The cord is a mere 20″ long. Most other bullets I’ve owned have a cord around 30″ in length. 20″ is pretty short, especially when one is using it the way I tend to use bullets – tucked into my panties, the cord coming out my waist-band and the pack shoved into my front pocket. The control pack is elementary. A slider that clicks along 5 positions: off, low, mid, high, super. “Mid”, because it’s a thrummy-lower-pitched motor, has actually gotten me to orgasm if I’m super-aroused. “High” is perfect when I need a little more oomph. “Super” is a setting I like but I cannot leave it on this setting once I start to orgasm, it’s just too much. Yes! I said something is too much! (see: Am I becoming more sensitive?? for more info) The actual bullet is about the same size as most other ones I’ve tried like the Bnaughty. It’s a bit noisy but then again, many bullets are. If you’re trying to discreetly use this in a silent bedroom….forget about it. Under the covers though? Nestled under panties and jeans? Doable.

The pack also has a singular red light to let you know it’s turned on. Easy to cover up if need be, doesn’t make the whole hand pack glow like the Harmony Bullet. It takes the standard 2 AA batteries, fits nicely in the palm of your hand with the slider bar in just the right position.

I can’t believe I’m actually saying this but……

I’m recommending a $10 sex toy from a no-name company with terrible packaging.

When you get down to it, though, bullets are one of the very very few sex toys that fall into that range that one can safely recommend. I suggest you buy two, because lord knows how long it’ll last. My Doc Johnson Harmony Bullet has actually been my go-to bullet these days so I’ve not put this one through the ringer. At $10 though it’s no hardship to replace once it does crap out.

Thanks to for sending me this (way too long ago) to review!

Feb 172010

(This post first appeared over at

First let me explain my take on the “typical” brain of feminine vs masculine. I do realize that just by saying that I’ve already ruffled some feathers. The saying “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” DOE S have its valid points.

I’m equally a logical and emotional person. It’s hell, lemme tell ya. I need to totally *understand* something, I need to know why. Why, why, why. I’m like a 2 year old. I cannot just do something “because”. If I at least know why I’m doing it and what comes next then I’m much better able to do my part. But I also act and react very emotionally, I’m very much an empath. Anyways, back to the logic. I have fibromyalgia which is a very misunderstood disease (but they do know that brain chemicals are either affected or a partial cause and I believe that the main chemicals affected are serotonin and dopamine) and I have a dopamine deficiency. ADD, ADHD, whatever label you want to put on it. When you run down the symptoms, I’m a textbook case. But I have other oddities that make me hard to diagnose. So in the course of trying to figure out what is wrong with me, I’ve done a lot of research. Learning what others like me are like. Forming my own theories that may or may not be a grand revelation to the science community at large.

Even if you don’t have a “mental disorder”, I believe that everyone’s brain hormones/chemicals are not all at perfectly balanced middle-of-the-road levels. Everyone has a skew, and that forms your personality. It’s when the skew is too severe that one is then diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bi-polar, ADD, etc. So my outlook is kinda like…..a horoscope. I am most compatible with other people that have a similar chemical skew/imbalance. If their dopamine is lower, I’ll get along with them. ( I hope this explanation makes sense to you all, lol).

They already know that biological men and women use their brains differently. But that’s what they can see and measure. What they haven’t been able to measure yet are the levels of the brain hormones. So I’m not saying here that my thoughts on the chemical differences pertain to *biological* male/female roles, obviously, but the self-identifying masculine/feminine roles. The typical feminine brain skews a little lower on serotonin. The typical masculine brain skews a little lower on dopamine. Disclaimer: I’m not saying that this is fact, I am saying that in all my logical thoughts, this has to be true. One big reasoning is that many of my little ADD-quirks/issues/problems….to some degree are all complaints that wives generally have about their husbands. Like I’m more likely to forget birthdays and anniversaries. I lose track of time. That whole domestic drive to  clean the house and run errands when you’d really rather sit on yer butt? Yeah I don’t have that and you’ll find me sitting on my ass till there’s no clean undies and we’re outta milk. When a female asks me if I notice anything different, I’m going to be staring blankly at her just like most men would.

I hope I didn’t lose you – this topic of brain chemistry and why I, without fail, get along the best with people with similar chemistry levels as my own is all seriously fascinating to me. Even if the knowledge doesn’t do me any good with treatment I still like understanding it all as best as possible.

Anyways. Contradictions, contrasts, puzzle pieces.

I’m the girl in full makeup who’s fixing your computer and babbling in geek-speak.

I’m the girl wearing perfume who’s hanging with the guys, playing MMORPG games and being just as competitive as them.

I’m the girl in the group of people who will admonish the man with a “Don’t be such a pig!” to his pervy comment all the while silently agreeing and staring at that chicks ass right along with him.

I’m the girl in sexy clothes and kitten heels who would be happily tagging along to a car show, admiring the details and work on big, loud muscle car or a sleek, expensive sports car.

In my mind I objectify women as I ogle them but I don’t let on outloud, for that’s not proper. I know it’s not right but it happens anyway. I’m terrible at being domestic even when it has to be done. I didn’t inherit the gene that makes my mind think “We’re having company! I better dust!” like my mother and her mother before her. I drive too fast, I swear too much and I don’t remember your birth date. I could spend just as much money at Sephora as I could at I am competitive beyond compare and fuck you if you beat me.

And when I read about other bisexual or bi-curious women talking about how softly they would kiss a woman, how the sex would be sensual and spiritual and *cue sound of abrupt record-scratching to signify a halt* – I think “why??” I want to kiss and be kissed like I would kiss a man. Kissing men, kissing women, it’s not a different activity for me it’s kissing a person and I like it passionate. Not feathery kitten kisses. I want to have hot, sweaty, kinda-rough passionate sex with a woman just as I would with a man.

But yet I want to be swept off of my feet in romance. I want the grand gestures. I want the Dom type of guy sometimes, to a degree. I have my days of wanting to be pampered and beautiful and wanted and loved. You don’t have to hold the door for me unless my hands are full, but I’d appreciate it if you compliment how I look, even though I may blush and dip my head.

I am a contradiction in flesh and blood and sometimes I just don’t know which way to go.