Mar 092009

As he leaves the room to clean up, he hands me a dildo and a vibrator with instructions to not stop but yet not to come without permission. I see him in my periphery here and there, he keeps a casual eye on me but won’t say anything. I am already halfway there and it doesn’t take me long to get to the point where I have to start backing off with the vibrator, or I will come.

I know he wants me to come and I know he’ll make me beg for it. But this time he is not egging me on with filthy words. As I move the vibrator a fraction of an inch away from my clit I call out softly to him for I cannot see him.

Please, Sir…..I’m getting close

No reply. I don’t know where he is.


I am whimpering pathetically, and suddenly I see him. He is watching me with purpose, still he says nothing. As a moan and short sob escapes my lips he comes closer, his eyes focused intently on mine.

My eyes glaze over; my eyelids flutter in attempt to stay open.

I can’t…..please…please, Sir

He brings his hand to me, to my face. Slowly, methodically, sensually he traces my lips with the faintest touch of his fingertips. Still staring me down without a word. It is killing me. His gaze travels from my face to my body to my cunt and I feel the heat and shame of being under perceived scrutiny.

I am flushed and shaking now and I am on the verge of disobeying. He is at my side so close that I feel the heat from his body. His hand goes behind my head to the other side and his fingers graze my neck; right on my sensitive spot. Our foreheads touching now, his nose to my temple, he finally sets me free:


And I’m gone. My breathing is quick and heavy and I moan and I’m cresting the hill with the tingles; the second I go silent and he sees my eyelids spasm and flutter –

His hand clamps over my mouth.


It is done in such a way that I cannot breath and I squeal in fear but the lack of oxygen is intensifying my orgasm as it crashes and my cunt contracts and my lungs burn and I arch and twist and ride it out. As soon as I begin to truly panic he removes his hand and the air rushes back to me. With a “good girl” he is gone from my line of sight and I am left to recover on my own, gasping as my brain cries for more oxygen.

The erotic intensity is shocking to me.

Feb 112009
{note: This is not for HNT and there will not be any HNT this week}

He had me mark myself for him. Branded, I suppose. “This hole is for Master to cum in” was written on my thigh for him to see. “R’s Whore” written in another spot.


When I see him, I know he’ll write on me. He has said he’ll do it in black permanent marker. A “tramp stamp” across the small of my back. Filthy words for him to see as he’s fucking me. What will he write?

For His use only

Cum Slut

If found, return to R ok maybe not…heh

When I return home that night to my partner, I will whisper to him the slutty filthy things I did, that were done to me; he’ll see the words and take his own turn claiming my cunt.

I will wear the words in secret for days until they disappear on their own. I don’t know how long it will take for permanent marker to wash off, but I suspect it’s at least a few days.

I don’t know what else he might write. Any ideas? What would you write, be it on me or on your own slut?

Jan 112009


There is a way to catapult me over the line of neutrality straight into submission. If done right, the shift is immediate.

Two years ago there was a young man I was briefly involved with who was a switch. I knew he was capable of being very submissive and downright dirty, but his attitude was full-on toppy brat. I loved it. I was working my way to getting into my dominant side, but he pulled a move that had never been done before to me and the effect was astounding. He kissed me – great kisser, that boy – a hard, deep kiss and his hand went to the back of my head. His fingers pushed against my scalp, through my hair, at the nape of my neck. His fingers full of as much hair as he could get, he closed his hand into a fist and firmly pulled. It was the hottest thing ever and boom – I felt submissive. I never was able to get back into the dominant frame of mind with him, and that’s what he wanted from me – my dominance. We had fun hanging out, making out, but it never went very far because of the D/s stalemate.

I’ve been with a handful of guys since then and I find it funny that very few could do the hair pulling trick as well as the original. There is a specific way so that it is arousing and firm but not sharp and “ow you’re pulling my hair out by the root”. In the middle, at the bottom, with fingers spread so that a large area is being pulled when your close your hand to a fist, you should grab it as close to the root as possible. All of that is needed for it to be a successful move.

When it is done correctly as I am being kissed, and therefore not aware of it until it happens, the effect is obvious and immediate. A moan and a whimper, my knees might buckle a bit, and the jolt of arousal is so swift and sharp that the breath is nearly knocked out of me. I am like a puppet, and that spot directly controls my cunt. I feel it there as much as at the juncture of fingers and hair.

But this is not the only moment to use this move on me………

As I am being fucked from behind it serves as the reins to pull me back closer to your mouth, so that you may growl filthy words in my ear.

As I am sucking your cock, so that you may guide my speed and rhythm.

As I am kneeling before you, so that you may force me to look up at you.

As your lips are travelling over my body, so that you may have better access to another spot that sets me on fire……..which I’ll tell you about another time.

Dec 212008

We lay, presumably asleep, in the dark room. Side by side, intimately close, bare skin brushing bare skin as we turn and toss in slumber. We never bothered to dress for sleep. Too exhausted from hours of debauchery in this room to care about something as silly as clothing for sleep. The room is mostly quiet save for the low hum of the fan. I wake once again but this time my ears catch a sound. A wet sound. Remaining still so as to not disturb, I open my eyes and look for the source of the erotic sound. I then notice the faint sensation of her right arm moving slightly against my left arm.

She has pushed the sheet down her body. I can see her pale skin in the dark – and I see her hand on her pussy as she fingers her clit. She makes no sound but for jagged breathing. Immediately I am wet, my cunt tingly and throbbing with arousal. I turn my head to look at her face and I let my fingers move against her so that she will realize I am awake. Our sleepy eyes meet but she does not stop what she’s doing.

My mouth craves skin and I dip my head to her shoulder. A kiss. A gentle bite. More…My lips travel to her nipple. A kiss. A not-so gentle bite. My own fingers trail down to relieve the ache, dip into dripping wetness. Not enough……not enough. I quietly push the sheet away from me as I reach for the bottle of lube.  I squirt a large amount on to my palm and then unceremoniously smear it on her upper thigh. I straddle her thigh and start to firmly grind my pussy against her. She pauses only to change hands, and I grab her now-free right hand and bring her soaked fingers to my lips to clean her off. She pulls free from my mouth after a minute and trails her slick fingers down my breast, finally to my nipple – she grabs it. Pulls.

It is the low moan elicited from that action that causes him to stir from the other side of the bed.

Through a sleepy haze he watches. I yank the sheet off his body entirely and watch his cock quickly harden. My right hand still slippery from lube, I wrap it around his cock with a firm grip as I stroke. He lays propped up on his side to watch us.

Her left hand rubbing her pussy. Her right hand tugging my nipple. I am now grinding my clit so hard on her thigh that I briefly wonder if I am hurting her, but I don’t quite care. She is first to orgasm. As I grind against her, and watch her body jerk in spasms, I am entranced. In short order I feel my own rolling forth. I reserve some concentration for his cock, never wavering in my ministrations. He watches us and while he seems passive, I see his eyes close in pleasure for brief seconds. He let us have our moment with each other, but I am ever mindful of my place. For as much as she is my (our) toy to use for tonight, I am His to use and I don’t  forget that. Not in this moment, not ever.

As she and I come down from our orgasms, trying to catch our breath, I feel his cock expand and hear him groan. No, I never forgot myself, and had kept up a mostly steady rhythm. Faster now, to push him over the edge; both hands slickly sliding over his cock. He comes all over us both. Not much by this time around but enough.

He yanks me off of her and towards him, while she moves over to my old position in bed. He kisses me – at first rough and claiming, then tender and sleepy. He bites my bottom lip; there is an intimate pause between us before he whispers my instructions.

“Clean each other up and then get to sleep, dammit. It’s 4 a.m.; we have a long day ahead of us and I’m tired.”

I just smile to myself and say “Yes, Sir”.

Nov 292008
Well folks I am not going to be getting the promotion, I will not be moving to the other office. Due to the current hiring freeze and the merging of all similar offices in 6 months, HR put the kibotz on that higher position being filled since it was vacated by my now-supervisor. So no extra money. No change in scenery.
I worry about the merger because I can’t say for sure that I’ll get to keep my internet access privileges. I’ll have to find another route, something I can afford, when the time comes. I have quite a few “friendships” that are online only, and only during the workday. Some are casual and a select few are very meaningful to me. If I weren’t able to chat during the workday I think I would lose those people. And for SURE I would be bored to death. I’ve grown terribly accustomed to this “way of life” in the past 6 months.
I am to the point where, no matter what, when I find out I’ll be in that downstairs office all alone for awhile I make it a point to take advantage of the fact. So determined that despite my 3 regular guys being AWOL (One left work early for T-day preparations, S has been in hiding lately and I’m not sure he’s coming back out, and the new guy who’s delighting in bringing out my Toppy side apparently had an impromptu office meeting), I pulled out my bullet anyways and thanks to a few of my Twitter guys, I got off quite nicely. I also took things a little farther than before. The bombardment of arousal from numerous angles left me with a need for penetration. I looked around, I thought….my eyes alighted on the half-empty Coke Zero bottle. 30 seconds later I decided to lock the glass door as it was the day before Thanksgiving, everyone was leaving early and I had plausible deniability if anyone tried to get in (damn door, I can never figure out that weird lock!). After a few brief moments of dropped pants and Coke Bottle attempts, I realized that someone could glance in and see my bare ass. So I moved in to my supervisor’s office…heh heh. Her lights off but the office lights meant that I was still barely visible should anyone look in her huge windows. The moment I inserted (some, couldn’t handle most of it) the bottle, and applied the bullet again to my clit, my orgasm began. I think this means that I need a slightly bigger case for my bag so that I can bring my wooden dildo with me along with the bullet.
Shame to waste nearly half a bottle of coke, but I wasn’t in the mood for a creamy Coke ;) The bottle was a bit of a mess, especially under that ridge for the cap.
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How To Make Lilly Blush:  A little like when S first floored me when he pointedly said in the comments of one of his posts that I was the cause of his recent highly-aroused state and subsequent amazing release, someone else caught me quite off-guard today by including me (me?) in his “hit it” list of sexy blogger ladies. I am the one of the four that he has met in person (at the party) and still I’m on that list.
Sometimes flattery will get you far ;)
If I were to make a list of blogger men on my own similar list…..well, I couldn’t narrow it down to just four, lol, but I think he might find he has a spot on my list, as well.
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You all rock, you know that? I got amazing support and “you tell him sister!” comments on my post about the Craigslist douchebag. It took him a few days, presumably took that long to write this all out and think it up, but he responded. I knew he would. Again, I present this to you in all its unedited glory:
well im glad u didnt respond to me cause i can see ur a very kind woman too..and yes i am a very nice man i just know how to find out who the nice women are and who is the jerks on here too so yes i am learning how this thing works on here thank you very much..and maybe some people have responded to u ok thats fine big it just seemed to me like you were being picky and im only sayin that cause you said in ur ad about looking for good lookin guys well i can see that but if u want that you should be able to give them somethin nice too not trying to be mean and didnt mean any offense and i am sorry..i was just stating a point..maybe i took ur ad the wrong way then
He can have his last words, I really cannot bear to drag out this conversation, risk hearing more drivel from him again. Nor do I give a shit. He doesn’t register on my radar anymore. But it does jade me against Pennsylvania men, in general. He’s not uncommon here I’m afraid.

Also, my CL ad was flagged and deleted, oddly enough, the day I posted about this guy. I doubt the timing is related. But still…..

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I’ve got more toy reviews for the future than I know what to do with….but I have to say, I feel bad for the other dildos. Really. Unless it’s a suction-cup dildo or an oversized one, it’s not going to have a place in my bag. I have found my Holy Grail and there is no besting it. Just not gonna happen. So from now on I’m not going to review any more dildos that are not suction-cup or oversized. I received a very pretty Glass one to review and I feel bad that I can’t really love it, because Mr. Pure has stolen my heart. He’s ruined me for all others.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~
I have become afraid of speaking too soon regarding men, but I really do have to just mention this – there is someone new who is really dragging out the “toppy” side of me and I’m liking it more and more. He inspired this post, and if things go well, you’ll be reading more about the situation.
Also, to any of the women who read my blog who have experience topping…please email me. I need to pick a few brains about a couple of topics.
Nov 242008

He is naked, standing, legs shoulder-width apart. I have his wrists bound together, his arms extended above his head just in front of him, the rope tied up to a hook in the ceiling. I have his hips back slightly so that he is leaning forward just a bit. Just enough. I swing the flogger very gently towards his hard cock, so that the soft suede gently teases him. He is vulnerable but trusting. He tries to push his hips toward the flogger to feel more caresses to his cock, despite the fact that this is really an instrument of pain and could become one at any moment. The cool weight of the suede plays on him like tendrils. Fingers.

I move behind him and any gentleness is gone. With a figure-8 motion and most of my strength I work the flogger on his back and ass, leaving delicious red marks that appear in short order. He is strong. Were it not for the angry red marks on his back, I might not know I was having an effect. Were it not for his straining cock, shiny and dripping, I might think he was immune. I think I like the feel of this flogger in my hand entirely too much for his own good.

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