.

We lay, presumably asleep, in the dark room. Side by side, intimately close, bare skin brushing bare skin as we turn and toss in slumber. We never bothered to dress for sleep. Too exhausted from hours of debauchery in this room to care about something as silly as clothing for sleep. The room is mostly quiet save for the low hum of the fan. I wake once again but this time my ears catch a sound. A wet sound. Remaining still so as to not disturb, I open my eyes and look for the source of the erotic sound. I then notice the faint sensation of her right arm moving slightly against my left arm.

She has pushed the sheet down her body. I can see her pale skin in the dark - and I see her hand on her pussy as she fingers her clit. She makes no sound but for jagged breathing. Immediately I am wet, my cunt tingly and throbbing with arousal. I turn my head to look at her face and I let my fingers move against her so that she will realize I am awake. Our sleepy eyes meet but she does not stop what she’s doing.

My mouth craves skin and I dip my head to her shoulder. A kiss. A gentle bite. More…My lips travel to her nipple. A kiss. A not-so gentle bite. My own fingers trail down to relieve the ache, dip into dripping wetness. Not enough……not enough. I quietly push the sheet away from me as I reach for the bottle of lube.  I squirt a large amount on to my palm and then unceremoniously smear it on her upper thigh. I straddle her thigh and start to firmly grind my pussy against her. She pauses only to change hands, and I grab her now-free right hand and bring her soaked fingers to my lips to clean her off. She pulls free from my mouth after a minute and trails her slick fingers down my breast, finally to my nipple - she grabs it. Pulls.

It is the low moan elicited from that action that causes him to stir from the other side of the bed.

Through a sleepy haze he watches. I yank the sheet off his body entirely and watch his cock quickly harden. My right hand still slippery from lube, I wrap it around his cock with a firm grip as I stroke. He lays propped up on his side to watch us.

Her left hand rubbing her pussy. Her right hand tugging my nipple. I am now grinding my clit so hard on her thigh that I briefly wonder if I am hurting her, but I don’t quite care. She is first to orgasm. As I grind against her, and watch her body jerk in spasms, I am entranced. In short order I feel my own rolling forth. I reserve some concentration for his cock, never wavering in my ministrations. He watches us and while he seems passive, I see his eyes close in pleasure for brief seconds. He let us have our moment with each other, but I am ever mindful of my place. For as much as she is my (our) toy to use for tonight, I am His to use and I don’t  forget that. Not in this moment, not ever.

As she and I come down from our orgasms, trying to catch our breath, I feel his cock expand and hear him groan. No, I never forgot myself, and had kept up a mostly steady rhythm. Faster now, to push him over the edge; both hands slickly sliding over his cock. He comes all over us both. Not much by this time around but enough.

He yanks me off of her and towards him, while she moves over to my old position in bed. He kisses me - at first rough and claiming, then tender and sleepy. He bites my bottom lip; there is an intimate pause between us before he whispers my instructions.

“Clean each other up and then get to sleep, dammit. It’s 4 a.m.; we have a long day ahead of us and I’m tired.”

I just smile to myself and say “Yes, Sir”.

well im glad u didnt respond to me cause i can see ur a very kind woman too..and yes i am a very nice man i just know how to find out who the nice women are and who is the jerks on here too so yes i am learning how this thing works on here thank you very much..and maybe some people have responded to u ok thats fine big whoop..lol..but it just seemed to me like you were being picky and im only sayin that cause you said in ur ad about looking for good lookin guys well i can see that but if u want that you should be able to give them somethin nice too right..im not trying to be mean and didnt mean any offense and i am sorry..i was just stating a point..maybe i took ur ad the wrong way then

Also, my CL ad was flagged and deleted, oddly enough, the day I posted about this guy. I doubt the timing is related. But still…..

I’ve got more toy reviews for the future than I know what to do with….but I have to say, I feel bad for the other dildos. Really. Unless it’s a suction-cup dildo or an oversized one, it’s not going to have a place in my bag. I have found my Holy Grail and there is no besting it. Just not gonna happen. So from now on I’m not going to review any more dildos that are not suction-cup or oversized. I received a very pretty Glass one to review and I feel bad that I can’t really love it, because Mr. Pure has stolen my heart. He’s ruined me for all others.

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He is naked, standing, legs shoulder-width apart. I have his wrists bound together, his arms extended above his head just in front of him, the rope tied up to a hook in the ceiling. I have his hips back slightly so that he is leaning forward just a bit. Just enough. I swing the flogger very gently towards his hard cock, so that the soft suede gently teases him. He is vulnerable but trusting. He tries to push his hips toward the flogger to feel more caresses to his cock, despite the fact that this is really an instrument of pain and could become one at any moment. The cool weight of the suede plays on him like tendrils. Fingers.

I move behind him and any gentleness is gone. With a figure-8 motion and most of my strength I work the flogger on his back and ass, leaving delicious red marks that appear in short order. He is strong. Were it not for the angry red marks on his back, I might not know I was having an effect. Were it not for his straining cock, shiny and dripping, I might think he was immune. I think I like the feel of this flogger in my hand entirely too much for his own good.

.

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Join us in Microfantasy Monday - submit your own, and see who else is participating.

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SwelteringCelt has drummed up a lil thing called Microfantasy Monday, and this week I think I can contribute something half-assed ;) The point to the microfantasy is to pick a snapshot….a moment in time and not the whole fantasy. Paint the picture as you wish.

The theme for this week: “There is an ass and it is on display.”

Well now….

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I can hear the murmurs of people around me but I am not paying attention to them. My wrists are bound in front of my body. My upper half is draped over a hard surface that is just above waist-high; my bound arms stretched out in front of me, my feet only barely touching the floor. My skirt thrown up to expose my ass. I feel his pocketknife at my hip. He slices off my panties…..my good black lace ass-framing panties! Damnit! He has the option of his hand, or my new leather paddle. I pray for the hand, as I believe it will not be as hard of a whack as the paddle. He runs a finger down the crack of my ass and dips into my slit for a brief second; this attempt to distract me works. I am off guard when I hear and feel the crack of the leather paddle. A split second later my highpitched yelp is also heard. Short, succinct, loud. Both the crack and my yelp.

.

I was not always submissive. I once, not too long ago, explored my dominant side with a man a few years younger than me. It didn’t go well, it ended badly as predicted, and I walked away with a low confidence level. It was a crappy relationship, he was kind of a crappy person at a bad time of his life, and I walked away from the experience with little desire to return to being dominant….until recently. I’ve felt the itch again. I cannot just flip a switch and “be” one or the other with someone, I have to feel it instinctively, it is a vibe. I do not generally like men who are submissive outside of the bedroom. I do not delve deep into the Mistress role; there are many scenarios I’m just not at all into. I am merely a lusty bitch at those times….it is about my pleasure; it is about their pleasure and orgasm being under my control. However, I won’t do something that I like if the other person doesn’t. If they do not derive any pleasure, deep down, from it…I won’t bother. Even the bedroom-masochist truly gets off on whatever is done to them, no matter the pain level. It is a feeding-frenzy of cyclical lust - I get off because he’s getting off from both what I’m doing and because I get off on doing it. *grins* Still with me? Perhaps I may be doing something that he would not normally like if thought were given to it but because I clearly love it, he does too. We feed each other.

There was one other guy, and it was only one time. But I felt powerful with him. Wanted. Adored. He was into pain as much as I was into giving it. I told him orgasms would be 4:1 - 4 of mine to 1 of his (he was very much into orgasm denial and teasing). My favorite moment that night was one of pure, delicious torture for him. I had a horse crop, a rubber-tendriled whip, and of course my hand. He had just spent some time bringing me to 2 orgasms - one with his tongue and fingers, one by fucking me with a dildo-gag and using my vibrator on my clit. He had a cock-ring on all this time, and was wonderfully hard. As I dragged the rubber tendrils over his cock, and teased him mercilessly, I saw something like desperation in his eyes.

I instructed him to masturbate for me, to the point of orgasm but he was not to cross over the line, he was not to come. Within a minute or two he stopped for me, his breathing ragged, pupils dilated. I cuffed his wrists, and clipped them to his collar. I started hard, with the horse crop, making deliberate stripes on his ass. After a minute I came around in front of him and dragged a lazy flat tongue up the length of his cock, watching his knees buckle. Hard full-handed slaps across the angry red stripes came next. I kept up until both of my palms were stinging. Another long drag of my tongue ended with firm suction, his legs shook….a whisper of “please” let me know to stop, he was on the edge again. I unclipped his wrists, informing him that my quota had not yet been met. He needed to make me come another two times yet before I would end his sweet misery. And, oh yes…..for every minute it took him to get me there, 2 swipes of the whip. Anything past 10 minutes? 4 swipes of the whip per minute.

Every minute I sounded off his tally. Toys, fingers, tongue and enthusiasm got me off in 8 minutes. 16 swats. 1 more orgasm. He paused long enough to let me ride out the wave of contractions then dove in face-first to bring on orgasm #4. Another 6 minutes. Hmmm, what were we up to now? I quizzed him, testing to see if he would tell the truth. He said “36, Ma’am” - did I detect a tremor of fear in that answer?  I made him count them out. Some rapid-fire; some long and drawn out, to catch him off guard. At 20, I paused. Rubbed the dripping pre-cum into his skin, watching his eyes roll back as he let out a low growl. His cock was a deep angry red from such lengthy arousal and the cock-ring.

Every 4 swats I would come back and tease him. A harsh deep kiss. A graze of fingernails up his chest, down his chest, avoid the cock! At 36, I snuck in one final blow to make 37. Unclipped his wrists and achingly slow I smoothed the condom on. Shoved him back onto the bed and I slowly crawled over his body, poised over his cock - grabbed his face and said “Don’t you dare fucking come until I tell you to.” Oh the poor thing looked like he was in pain - oh wait, he was. I rode his cock while I held a strong vibrator to my clit. He had the look of a crazed man, as he tried to put off the tidal wave that was building.

Such a beautiful sight…..

The moment I felt my orgasm building I stared at him, caught his attention and whispered “Now”.

I have never heard such a thing. A scream/moan/growl mixed with “fuck” “damn” and who knows what else, all so male, so primal. His body twitched its final release after a full minute of this; I climbed off of him and tenderly kissed him. So. Fucking. Good.

_______________________________________________________

It felt a bit out-of-character to write this, as I’ve been mostly submissive for some time now. But it was still highly arousing to me, that evening was amazing. So arousing that I sat here with the Silver Bullet vibe buzzing away for the second half of writing this, and I came when I was done. And thank you to ScarletLotus who prodded me to post this, despite my reservations.

Want?

No….need.

Clothes ripped from my body.

Pushed to my knees to wait.

Under your spell again.
I can’t say no to you.

Rope deftly wrapped around my chest, my shoulders, back to my arms. Binding my breasts to high, taut sensitive pieces of flesh. Binding my wrists behind my back. The final tail of rope wraps around the center knot between my breasts and acts as my leash.

Voice like quiet thunder. Words that make me blush. Words that make me wet. Words that make me throb.

Shouldn’t let you torture me so sweetly…

…Shouldn’t let you conquer me completely.

Submission washing over me like rain. I feel it, I breathe it, I taste it. An almost-tangible sensation is washing over me…like a combination of the moment just before tears, the moment just after orgasm and the deep ache of needy lust.

Painpleasurepainpleasure. They melt as one, but yet sharp contrast.

You use me as yours, I am your toy and your slut. I am fighting the battle between riding the wave of this dream this fantasy this real pleasure, and the need and urge to be ever-vigilant to your whims and orders. I cannot tell if you truly know …..

This need, want, lust…it feels like a balloon. You keep expanding it, until I fear I will burst. I am overflowing with words, I need touch. Reality. Soon.

So take care what you ask of me,
cause I can’t say no.

This week’s HNT is a request of R’s. He had me put the collar on yesterday for him, followed by the leash, just to see what it would look like. The first few photos for him were crude, quick and done by webcam. He wanted those to be just for him but also for better ones to be shot for HNT. Sadly this was all sort of last-minute, and he didn’t get to choose, but I hope I know him well enough to think I chose wisely.

I have never worn this collar prior to these photo requests. I am a bit apprehensive, but trusting. It is a soft black leather collar, which buckles on. It is a few years old but still retains that heady, earthy leather smell that I love. There are 3 D-rings, front and sides for clipping things to. It feels….odd, on my neck. Foreign. I am not one for choker necklaces, turtlenecks or even crewneck shirts. This will be a true test for both he and I.

What will he do with this leash? He mentioned wrapping it around his waist so that I was tethered to him, with nowhere else for my mouth to go but his cock. I have never employed a leash in my past experience; this collar was used on someone else, so my imagination is sort of limited in the leash arena. I think I like it that way, perhaps. Maybe? Hmmm.

Well, R, did I choose wisely?

You can’t really deconstruct any sort of relationship. You cannot break it down and truly ever determine the whys and hows. R and I had a conversation last week and he pointed out something that had never really occurred to me, that is to say I never thought about it that way. I suppose I knew that in the beginning of a D/s relationship, i.e. a true “relationship” and not a play arrangement with a pro, the submission is given. It is the submissive’s choice to give his/her submission to their dominant. However, once the bounds and roles are in place, I think I stopped seeing it as an ever-evolving choice. That the submission was no longer really a choice but simply the way things are now.

The truly genuine dominant in relationships realizes, each and every time, that the submission given to them is a gift. It may appear on the surface to be “taken” and demanded, but unless an actual slave contract has been drawn up the submissive is continually choosing to be submissive.

R:You know what I like best about you?

me: when you have me in the flesh, that’s when you’ll get my complete submission

R and I play rough. He manages to totally submerse me in the fantasy world. Last week was the best. Remember this from my previous post?

R: gets really close to your ear for a second while nobody is looking and whispers I can’t wait to try and put my fist in your cunt, though. licks your ear
(Fucker. He says that, but I didn’t see it at first, had to quickly leave the window as a co-worker was coming up to my desk. I read it finally, minutes later, and had to quickly regain my composure. He said this without yet knowing that being fisted is a fantasy of mine that only has its place in the rough, submissive sex scene I’m craving lately)

It started this conversation off, in the vein of me “performing” for him, being forced to expose myself and be vulnerable. We enter the conversation here as he is telling me what he would want to do to bring out my most submissive side. He gets very dominant with me; he knows I can take it. If you can’t stand the heat, get outta the kitchen….you’ve been warned….

(I’ve already pulled out my Silver Bullet vibe….somehow…this couldn’t be much worse timing at the office, as it’s break time with people coming and going)

R: I’d be sitting right behind you, legs around your sides, whispering nasty things in your ear while I watch you rub. Playing with your nipples and pulling on them….reaching down to help and then make you lick it off my fingers. Calling you a nasty little cunt for performing for me. Daring you to cum.
L: I put the vibrtor on myclit
L: wow
L: cant type
L: sorry
L: cant even think
R: Good
R: See? I know what buttons to push
L: I know you do
R: Look at you……
R: Flushed and wet, I have no doubts
L: yes…
R: (x) hours away and I command you enough to do that to you
L: Fuck. I just had to talk to someone and force myself to keep my eyes open and breathing normal from the vibrations on my clit right now.

(that was so difficult…I could feel that I was already a little flushed, and I was so aroused that the bullet vibe almost immediately started the climb up the hill so to speak. There was no “foreplay” no teasing vibes, just “holy fuck” right away)

He changes tone and transports me right into the moment, painting the picture for me….

………………………….

I keep my legs tight against you…..
Ordering you to rub for me….guiding you with my hand
Whispering trashy nasty thoughts in your ear…..

Must be some sort of special slut to meet a man you’ve never known before now in a hotel room and cum for him when he commands it, aren’t you?
*pulls your nipples roughly*…. focus on the clit
that’s right….. fuck that wet cunt for me….show me…
show me how wet I make it, slut

oh god
I need to cum

Look at your hole….. stretched nice and open for me……
I’ll be fucking it soon enough, pet *pulls nipple again*…but first you’ll give me what I want
*watches you rub your own clit as fast and as harshly as he would*
mmmmm, lovely.
I own you….. *pulls your nipples* I own this

this body….. it is mine. to do with as I please

*reaches down and roughly inserts two fingers* I own this cunt right now…all of it. Inside and out. Say it * hisses at you* who owns this hole, slut

you own it
i’m yours
everything

Good, now you know it too
You know what I want
You’ll fucking give it to me, won’t you

yes, sir

Give it to me…. I want what belongs to me. I own it…. I claim it and now I am here to collect it. Cum for me…right here, right now. You’ll fucking give it to me or I swear to you I will make you fucking wish you had. You hold any back, I swear I will mark your body for weeks to come.

oh god
cumming
now

…………………………..

L: i…..cant breathe
R: Good ;)
L: omg, my face is beet red…I wish you could see me
R: Good. I hope men walk by and know what you just did. I wish to display my work proudly
R: But it will be a well kept secret for only a few. ;)
L: holy fuck
L: i didn’t think i could do it here
R: Well guess what….. you did. you just needed the right….. instigating is all.

I sent him this pic from my phone (and another one which I can’t post here) to show him just how badly flushed I was. From the moment the Bullet touched my clit until I came, was only 10 minutes. 10 minutes!! For the situation and the nature of things - having to be stealth about it, and occasionally stopping, taking my hand out of my pants and off the bullet thereby halting the imminent orgasm - 10 minutes was a goddamn record. I was flushed like this all over my cleavage and breasts, splotchy…my face too was red, my cheeks.

There were other things said, which I feel possibly cross the line for this post, delving into the almost-violent. I know he wouldn’t actually do those things in person with me, he wouldn’t be able to hurt me like that.
I trust him.

I need this.

(this is one of those posts that has taken me all day to do. editing. censoring, a bit. over-thinking. it’s one that I’m not going to be totally comfortable with until I get positive feedback.)

I’ve been tossing around the idea of putting up a Craigslist Missed Connections post for the jogger. I don’t want to -meet- him, just ask him what he saw…how much…etc.

~

A fellow blogger posted somewhere musings on what we would do if anybody we knew in real life were to find our blog, or if there was a suspicion or danger of it. What would we do? What do we think might happen? I can’t say I want to think about what would happen if my family read about it. A friend saw my blog; I don’t know how much they read or anything (we didn’t discuss it) but I know they read it. And they’ve pretty much stopped speaking to me.

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Someone asked me recently why I have so much porn on my computer. (I have about 40 gigs worth of stuff I’ve downloaded) And now I know the reason. The first time I view a video, it’s like I’m spying. I’m seeing someone’s secret. It’s fresh and new and you don’t know what’s going to happen next. Future viewings…the secret is out. It’s no longer titillating. I keep them though in case others would like to peruse my library and borrow a book ;) And in the hopes that maybe in a few months that really hot scene will get to me again.

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Of all the sex toys I’ll be reviewing there is one that I will not be reviewing and I likely will never own (but hope to at least try someday) and that is a fucking machine. To be fucked by something that can go faster than any human is able to is arousing. Even more so, to be restrained and forcefully fucked by this machine and some of the time a big vibrator on my clit.

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I do not fit in with the traditional fetish/kink community it seems in that I’m not really and truly Dominant or submissive. I consider myself a switch because I like both sides of the coin. But I cannot just BE one or the other with someone. There has to be chemistry. If I am dominant or submissive with a person it is totally dependent on the vibe I get from them. I am not saying they dictate which I will be; but I cannot say before knowing someone that yes I top them or bottom to them. Just because I am speaking with someone who is only submissive, that does not mean I’ll be able to top them. I tend not to be into someone who identifies more as a “lifestyle” player. Let’s keep it to flirting and bedroom time, thank you. I don’t usually like truly submissive men. Nor do I usually like truly dominant men.
Lately I have been wanting to try the bottom/submissive side. Very occasionally I meet someone I think I could top, or who I want to top. Very rarely I meet someone I could see both sides happening with.
Although I am bisexual, I tend not to feel dominant or submissive to women. Cannot figure out why.
Hopefully a trip to a FLOG event with a certain couple I know and love will bring out some surprises for me and change my viewpoints a little.