Jun 042010
 

If you’re buying your first dildo, you’re probably unsure where to even begin. Look at any given sex toy retailer site that offers a half-decent selection and you are bound to be overwhelmed at the sheer number of dildos to choose from. Dildos that look like penises, rockets, or nothing at all.  One thing that’s difficult to decide upon when choosing your first dildo (or even insertable vibrator) is size and shape and affordability. After all, you don’t really want to drop $50 or more on a toy you end up hating. And every woman’s body is different, so the toys I love are going to be toys some hate. There are women who just don’t like the Pure Wand. It makes my heart sad, but there you have it.

My first dildos/vibrators were the typical ones chosen by those who are overwhelmed. And also even just 10 years ago silicone and the safer materials weren’t quite as prevalent on the online sex toy shops. I had this hideous jelly vibrator that looked realistic, if by realistic you mean translucent, pink, glittery etc. It had the “realistic shape”. Another was a simple jelly dildo that I never used past the first try or two. Then I chose a typical hard plastic “slim-line” vibrator and while it was mostly sufficient, it did nothing special for me. Avoid my mistakes, people.

Size

Choosing the size for your dildo should depend upon what has already been in your vagina. Think to your most pleasurable sexual experience (solo or partnered) and what felt so good – was it the sensation of fullness, being stretched my something larger? Was it more about the zing of pleasure that came from the head of it stroking your g-spot? Take a look at a ruler. Actually look at how wide 1″, 1.5″, 2″ is on the ruler. Measure your carrots and zucchini to get a good idea of how that linear width translates to circumference (but please don’t use them as a dildo). If you liked the feeling of fullness, then I’d suggest starting with a 1.5″ at the most. If your focus was on the object/cock hitting a certain feel-good spot, and especially if you’d not had experience with dildos/cocks, go for 1″ or 1.25″ around.

If you’re just starting out with penetration OR have medical issues that prevent penetration, consider getting a silicone dilator set to ease into things. SheVibe carries a few kits from Soul Source and Come As You Are has a full set or individual dilator dildos.

Material

For the love of pete if you’re going to take any advice it’s this: no jelly, no rubber, no PVC, no cyberskin or UR3 or Futorotic or anything like that used in mid-range ultra-realistic dildos (they’re usually painted). They smell funny, they’re not very well made, many of those will have phthalates in them, they’re porous so they can’t ever be shared or fully sanitized unless you’re donning your toys with a condom and they’re just plain ole not worth it.  I’d really like to emphasis silicone. You can find cheaper options that are (usually) non-toxic if you choose TPR/TPE/Elastomer, but these are porous. Why should you care about non-porous vs porous? Why should you spend the money on silicone? Why should you care about brand? In short, pure silicone can last a lifetime with minimal care; porous materials can harbor bacteria, mildew/mold, etc. Porous materials cannot ever be completely clean. They can actually make you sick if enough bad crap is making a home in the pores of the material. If you stick with brands that I and other reviewers trust, you’ll be sure to have a silicone dildo that is actually, truly, pure silicone. 

Silicone comes in various densities and can be somewhat soft, very firm, or squishy. If you decide that the more common, firm silicone isn’t for you, then you’ll want to consider spending the money on a Tantus O2 style or Vixen Vixskin style. Vixskin is a little more plush, but Tantus O2 is a little more affordable.

If you decide you absolutely can’t get silicone right now, go for glass or cover the dildo with a polyurethane condom. Porous materials like TPE/TPR are non-toxic but they are softened with mineral oil-based ingredients most of the time. Oil, as we know, isn’t compatible with a latex condom. And, if you do choose a porous material please keep an eye on it for discoloration, odd odors, and black dots. I recommend tossing it after 6 months use to be safe.

Shape and Features

For some reason, a lot of people split off into two very different camps when purchasing their first toys. One side runs to the cutesy child-toy-like items or “incognito” items. The other side will pick the most realistic dildos.  It’s hard to get a very realistic dildo in something super small, but a few do exist like the Vixen Vixskin Spur.

Many people love the idea of a suction-cup base. This post lists out pretty much every silicone suction-cup dildo I’ve found.

Purchasing

Another option is to check in on the Tantus Grab Bag.  If you don’t care about the color of the dildo, you can get a really good price.  One staple that is great for newbies is the Leisure, it has a tapered tip, no texture, and a max diameter of 1.25″.

I generally advise people to avoid Amazon and Ebay; counterfeit sex toys are definitely a thing, and you could get something that you think is silicone but is not. Some people have had good experiences buying from Amazon, but the risk of getting a fake sex toy is high enough that I advise you to avoid it. Stick with well-known sex toy retailers like Shevibe, Lovehoney1 or Lovehoney UK, Come As You Are or Lovedreamer for Canadians2, and buying direct from manufacturers like Tantus.

Also, on anything from Tantus: Watch for their monthly sales, and don’t forget to use my coupon code (LILLY). Sometimes my code is a better deal (15% off anything), sometimes the sales are better deals. And, sometimes their sales don’t require a coupon code,  so you can use my code to save even more on top of the sale.

 

Small Dildo Recommendations:

Tantus Warm Up in Teal $27Sinclair Institute G-spot Wand (glass) $29Tantus Leisure Grab Bag version $26

Tantus Compact $38Vixen Small Realistic Bent in Purple $35My Little Heaven $15

Moderately Sized Dildo Recommendations:

Tantus Echo grab bag version $32MaiaD3SoSilicone

Tantus Vamp grab bag version $24SiliconeChubbyGMaiaD1

 

 

  1. Although please avoid anything they list as “skin-safe rubber”, I take issue with that term since often those items are at the least porous and at the worst possibly toxic
  2. Again please check the material – they do still sell jelly items and other materials I don’t agree with
Mar 282010
 

You know, I don’t get ALL my sex toys for free. Sometimes I get impatient and just buy them. Sometimes I do a “buy out” for review at edenfantasys.com which means I get a discount but I still have to review it, such as the Devine Play Chest or the Fleshlight.

But there’s things I purchased with my own money (err…I mean EF giftcards that I got from writing for Edencafe plus the commissions I got from affiliate sales at EF) recently that I want to talk about, both the good and the bad. So read on for my thoughts on the Toiboks Original, the Erosillator 2, a couple of toy storage bags, the Nobessence Seduction dildo, and the Wahl 7-in-1 2-speed Massager.

Toibocks Original

This is a pricey yet unique toy storage item for someone with a few bedside toys that needs total privacy and discretion. The Toibocks IS beautiful, a dark mahogany wood that looks like a plain box and the lid opens to reveal a jewelry-tray thing. Keep cheap jewelry there, watch, anything that you like that’s average and doesn’t warrant a closer look. To anybody that looks at it in depth they’ll know that the box is big but the tray is shallow and try to lift up the tray. But it is locked in place with no obvious key hole. The key is contained within this piece that is stored inside the box magnetically to the metal logo on the underside of the lid. Problem is, in my eyes, that “key” is obvious that it doesn’t belong. In other pictures I had thought it to be metal, but it’s just plastic. Not even fake-chrome-plated plastic, it’s the swirly metallic-silver and so it looks like an oversized play-money coin from a child’s board game, and that’s really my only disappointment with this whole thing. The box is lined with velveteen-flocked cardboard and appears to be well made and sturdy. Like I said…..pricey, not for storing serious valuables, but it IS pretty and inconspicuous. Good choice for bedside storage if you have roommates or kids.

Toy Pouches

These are being sold under EdenFantasys as the brand, and are cute drawstring toy pouches. I purchased one of each, unable to tell exactly if one was better/different than the other. Other than one having the EF logo in glued-on rhinestones, there’s absolutely no different and IMO not really worth sending the extra $6. They come in black or purple on the outside and it’s a faux-suede material. The inside is a hot pink satin. Sturdy, thick cords make up the drawstring. Shiny silicone dildos/vibrators will not smoothly glide along the satin on the inside, so I took one and turned it inside out (that’s the pink one you see above). While the suede will likely stain more easily if the dildo isn’t clean, it can be easier to use it this way for some toys. I was able to fit the Wahl in the pouch by removing the attachment and just dropping it in the bag. I could probably fit one more attachment in it. Toys longer than 9.5-10″ won’t fit in and still let the pouch close.

Eroscillator 2

After reading Epiphora’s stellar, glowing review I decided to try it out. However….her review was for the tippy top super deluxe package of every attachment plus the stronger motor. SheVibe carries various packages, but the one I first tried was the “2 Plus” basic kit. I liked it….but it wasn’t perfect for ME. I like pressure and with the oscillations you can’t apply pressure, or they’ll slow down a lot. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this though for other women, so long as they don’t require pressure like I do. It can be powerful or subtle, good for a wide range of women. Even my husband liked the sensation of it when I applied it to his hard cock, at the frenulum. I think that I could love it if I was able to try out the super deluxe package, with a more powerful motor and different attachments. In the end, I wound up loving  the Wahl so much that I no longer reached for the E2 and so I gave it to Backseat Boohoo as a surprise. (she loved it)

UPDATE: I eventually was able to try out the “Top 2 Deluxe”, the model that boasts more power. Combined with the absolutely-essential Fingertip Attachment, I finally understood what everybody who loved it was talking about. I could truly get rid of all other attachments and solely use the Fingertip. It makes the difference; without it, I was feeling pretty lukewarm about even the Top 2 Deluxe model.  It’s a pricey spend, but will offer you a lot of variety with texture and sensation plus could be the thing that changes your mind about vibrators. It’s an “oscillator”, not a “vibrator”.

Wahl 7-in-1   2-speed Massager

That sounds so clinical, doesn’t it? This is another “body massager” that has become a pervertable vibrator in disguise. Not for those with sensitive clits, but it’s very different from the Hitachi’s power. The type of vibrations can’t even be compared. The Wahl comes with 7 little plastic attachments but to ME most are not going to work was a sex toy. Especially the scalp massager attachment (the one with nubby spikes). Ouch. There’s 2 speeds and they deliver more than just differing speeds….it’s totally different types of vibrations. The first is almost buzzy and surfacey but yet….not. Because long time readers will know that my clit doesn’t like that type and my clit loves the Wahl, both speeds. The second speed is…..whoa. Only for the aroused clit. The word “jackhammer” comes to mind, but not in a scary way. It’s not a numbing buzz like the Hitachi, it’s…..literally like a hammering/thumping sort of vibration. That might sound painful but I swear, it’s not. And holy shit is this thing QUIET especially on the first speed. On the first speed you wouldn’t be able to hear it from a few feet away. The cord is nice and long. The Wahl has become my go-to vibe now. Sure it looks funny but I can’t even tell you the last time I reached for my Hitachi since I now own this and the Climax Twist. Also, unlike the Hitachi, I never ever go numb from it, clit OR hand. This paragraph doesn’t even do it justice, maybe I’ll write about it more elsewhere, another time. LOVE IT. Buy one. BUY IT. You’ll love it.

Nobessence Seduction

The Nobessence Seduction is a pretty awesome dual-ended wood dildo. This dildo is NOT for those who think their vagina is small. This is a dildo for the size queens, but yet with some “warm up” many should be able to handle the larger end. I LOVE IT. I’ve used both ends; the larger end gives me the more broad g-spot action from feeling fulfilled, while the small knobby end can give pinpoint pressure. Due to the design, it’s anal safe, too, and that small end would be great for prostate massage. They use a different finishing method than Hans Hardwoods dildo I own, and it seems to seep into the wood giving it a 3D glowy sheen almost. It’s a pricey dildo but SO fucking worth it. And the packaging? Cute. CUTE! Hard pressed/colored/textured cardboard that is very thick and sturdy; the inside is padded and has a few elastic bands to hold the item in place.  I really can’t recommend this enough. It’s lightweight, it’s really well made, it can be sanitized and cleans up easily and is super beautiful.

 

 

 

 

Feb 272010
 

The Jollies brand Thrust dildo is another in their typical style of oddly-shaped body-friendly dildos. Unlike the Jollie, Jollet and Rider though, the Thrust isn’t thick. While the other Jollies products I’ve tried were very firm sturdy toys, the Thrust is …. floppy. I can hold it by the finger handle and waggle it around like you wouldn’t believe. The silicone itself isn’t squishy or anything, just at the crux of the shape it’s….floppy. And I don’t know why.

I gotta be honest, I couldn’t get into this one. Trying to insert it (and I used lube for once) wasn’t exactly easy. It reminded me a lot of trying to insert a semi-hard penis. It’s the standard silicone that all Jollies toys are, which is a shiny sort of silicone that attracts even more dust/lint/fur than matte silicone. I requested this sex toy to review, from Edenfantasys, because of the largely positive reviews my peers have given it. Kristi and Carrie Ann both liked it. Everybody’s different, and my g-spot responds best to very firm pressure up into it. I couldn’t do that with the Thrust. Since it’s so floppy if I tried to pull up on the handle to give my g-spot more pressure, it just didn’t……well, it didn’t do much.

This Jollies dildo also has a handle with a hole for your finger. Just about the only part of the design on this that I can appreciate is that handle and how it’s curved to come back towards your clit. Dildos that stick straight out of me just don’t work. You could put a bullet in that finger hole instead and turn this into a dual stimulation toy. The upside I guess to the floppiness is that by pressing the handle part to your clit, the dildo part won’t go at a funny angle. If you’re using this with a partner and they want access to your clit, the floppiness means they can move that handle part easily without disturbing the dildo (like would happen with the Jollie)

If you think you’d like to try out this dildo, I suggest you get moving on it, pronto. I am very sad to say that Jollies, the company, is out of business. Jollies produced some really fucking innovative sex toy designs and it’s a shame to see them go. ETA: The company is reprieving itself and sticking around a little while longer! Yay!!

EdenFantasys still has the Thrust in stock as of this writing, in most colors. Many other Jollies brand toys are out of stock on the site, but my beloved Jollie is still there. On EF they listed them in two levels of density of the silicone, Firm and Soft. The one EF still has in stock is listed as the Soft but I don’t think it matters, the company technically did away with the varying densities long ago. It’s just your average silicone dildo, hefty but with a little bit of give.


Jan 292010
 

I’d say about once a week I am asked by my readers to recommend sex toys. Men, women, couples…..specific queries or newbie general “I just want a sex toy” questions, I get them all.

And you know what? I genuinely like doing it. Unless of course the asker gets too personal and creepy – I’m basically your sales associate….not your sex surrogate. Overall though most are nice and respectful requests. I don’t just rattle off a few typical suggestions, though. I gather the data about the person/couple using the items and I  go digging. I love doing this for people, because I like helping and sharing what I’ve learned, but it’s not a quick process so it’s really nice when they go buy the products I recommended via my affiliate links.

Today’s Ask Lilly segment is a recommendation list for a couple who have never used toys before.

The Details:

She: doesn’t orgasm clitorally very well from fingers or tongue and (much like I used to be) tends to have her hubby go for g-spot play during sex. Is probably curious about vibrators for both area

He: is also looking for a toy to initiate himself with. What good is finding your prostate if you don’t have the right tools to make it happy?

They: are looking for items that can be used together, or for just her on her own. Willing to try a few things out in the first go and spend a little more for better products, but without buying only luxury items. They are trying to increase her pleasure level overall and get away from the frustration they both feel when she doesn’t orgasm.

 

G-Spot Recommendations:

  1.  Lelo Ella – I never tried this one because I already loved my Pure Wand, plus I had already figured out that I need the shape of the Pure Wand to work with my arms & body. But Ella is rated very highly by many of my peers.
  2.  Prism V – Amazing g-spot curve, firm pressure, phenominal vibrations and a good price point. I LOVE the Prism V. 
  3.   Njoy Pure Wand  is my holy grail, and works for a lot of people.

 

Clitoral Recommendations:

It’s hard to tell if her preference for g-spot play and inability to have a clit orgasm is because she needs a level of clit stim that fingers and tongues can’t provide, or she’s so overly-sensitive that their attempts are sensory-overload for her. Either way, I’m going for the lower-pitched vibrators because they’re more universally liked. It’s also hard to know if someone prefers pinpoint or broad stimulation. This list will give a little something for everything, and stay right around or under $50.

  1.  Fun Factory Layaspot – This is in case she can’t handle the more powerful vibrations. It has the right pitch and many levels of vibration intensity. It can be intense enough, it’s gotten *me* off, but it’s a diffused sort of vibration, rather than the pinpoint that a bullet can be.
  2.  Doc Johnson Black Magic Bullet – I think that this bullet has the right mixture of being nice to look at, fairly well made, and powerful at the right vibration pitch level. 
  3.  Vibratex Mystic Wand – This provides rumbly power that isn’t as overwhelming or itchy as the Magic Wand, but works for those who like broad stimulation.

 

Prostate Recommendations:

Prostate toys can be used solo or in couple play. Masturbation, blow jobs, even sex – having something in your butt pressing on your prostate will make your toes curl and your whole body sing.

  1. Jopen Lust L13 – Fairly powerful vibrations in the blobby-shaped design that seems to hug the prostate.
  2. The Mood Naughty set – This is an affordable introduction to the blobby-shaped prostate design; it doesn’t vibrate, and instead you need to really clench your butt PC muscles to get it to work, but that clenching happens naturally during sex.
  3. Tantus Prostate Play – This can vibrate, or not, it’s up to you. It’s a good size and a little bigger for more intermediate players.
Oct 092009
 

The market for suction-cup dildos isn’t really very big. Remove from the list anything made of jelly, rubber or cyberskin and it ends up being a mighty small list, indeed. So I was thrilled when I found the SinFive line of sex toys, even more so when I saw that they make two suction-cup dildos. While they’re not silicone, they’re still a very safe material. EdenFantasys lists it as “WTP” which is “completely non-porous, odorless, phthalate and latex free. WTP is tested under strictest European safety standards to be totally safe for the skin and inside the body.” Well that’s pretty damn good! In my eyes the design is a bonus – it’s phallic but not a replica of a penis.

SIN52041

I chose the Pikilo over the Burgono because of size. The SinFive Pikilo is Continue reading »

Jul 042009
 

How do you improve upon the dildo?

You vary the width and give it a strange, but wonderful, shape. A shape that can seem like it was just made to perfectly fill up your cunt. In fact…that’s exactly how it was made! It looks weird and that, combined with the girth, is exactly the reason I wanted these.

I have long coveted various dildos made by Jollies Pleasure Toys. I now own 2 of the 3 that I have craved. I have the Jollie and the Jollet. They’re very similar, identical in size and shape of the insertable part, but the designs past the insertable part are quite different.   And since the design of these dildos is so unique looking, I had to ask. Straight to the lady with the answers! Luze, the CEO of Jollies L.L.C., answered my email questions with amazing promptness. It’s the geek in me, I like knowing the hows and whys. It’s what drives me to bust apart my broken and dead vibrators, to see the innards and how they worked.

jollies

Top is the Jollet, bottom is the Jollie

 

Q. How did you arrive at the design of the dildo? It’s a pretty unique shape and almost seems as if it’s made from a mold of the vaginal canal.

A. You are correct! We molded several females and found that this was the way a woman was created… not the straight “man” type toys out in the market. The Jollie is made to sit in the vaginal canal and the “tail” tapped to create it’s own ‘vibrations’ where they are supposed to be…It is not meant to be an in-and-out type dildo. The handle – where you can stick your finger/thumb in to tap on the ‘tail’ easier – can also be used to hold a bullet.

 

Q. What is the difference between the Vibrating Jollet and standard Jollet? The size seems to be identical – is it just that one has a built-in vibrator and the other can accommodate a bullet?

A. Yes, that is the only difference.  We created the Jollet standard and people wanted more vibration….. so the vibrating Jollet came to life.

Q. The very few reviews I read of the standard Jollet seem to allude to a design fail because the “bumps” down near the base aren’t in a good position to stimulate the clitoris and therefore the vibrations seem unnecessary. It doesn’t seem to me that this design is meant for dual stimulation….is it?

A. Correct. Jollet is a lot like Jollie…. it’s meant to be where it’s supposed to be. We created this one because people thought that the handle “hole” in the Jollie was in the way for cunnilingus, so along came Jollet. We found that the knob type bottom was great when playing with a partner as they can turn this handle and find the ‘perfect’ spot for pleasure.


Q. Is there a particular wireless bullet that is recommended as a “best fit” for the standard Jollet?

A. Not really, any bullet that fits works… we have used different ones and as long as they are lubed they will easily go into the hole.

{As an aside, I found that the RO-80mm Bullet (or this one) is the perfect width and length and power. It’s a little bit longer than standard blunt-ended bullets like this one (on the left in the pic), and that length matters. If you put the typical wireless bullet down in the hole….even lubed, you can’t grasp enough to pull it out.}

jollet2 With a “standard” bullet in……

jollet3 And with the longer RO-80mm Bullet


Q. I see so few reviews of these toys, I’m not sure why. But a common gripe is that it’s too thick for some of the women who have reviewed them. Do you ever plan on making a slimmer version?

A. You know, we’ve gotten that question before… and no, we don’t plan on making a thinner version. The idea was to get women to understand that this is not an in-out- type dildo. They are not made to pump like traditional dildos; instead they are made to sit in the vagina… maybe turned … mostly tapped on or vibrated to make the woman feel good. That’s a big reason why they seem ‘too big’ . But well-lubed and ready, they slide in and “WOW”

jollet

“WOW” is right. These are not dildos to use as a warm up. These are toys you use when you’re highly aroused and have had something else smaller inside of you. Unless, of course, you’re me. For the first 10 seconds it’s an effort to get it inside my pussy and past the fattest part of the dildo – but then it’s settled in place and perfectly filling. Where the fat end pushes up into your g-spot, the tapered head slides on in under the cervix. Those two sensations combine to give a feeling of fullness and stimulation without needing to thrust. If you have a tough time accommodating toys that are over 1.5″ wide, then these might not be for you.While the whole thing isn’t this big, the widest spot is 1.75″ wide.

The Jollie I can actually leave inside me and walk around/sit with it in. My typical method is to use the Hitachi with it. I don’t need to move the dildo at all, or move the handle which so snugly cups my cunt and my clit to perfection. I just press the Hitachi to the Jollie. I’ve actually never been much for vibrating dildos because it wasn’t enough. But this? Holy mother of god it’s eyes-rolling-to-the-back-of-my-head good.Move the Hitachi between vibrating the “tail” and the “handle” and it’s just fucking divine. Also because of the unique shape, when my cunt contracts hard from the strong orgasms, this dildo doesn’t get pushed out.

The Jollet is awesome to use with a partner during oral sex. I use the bullet in mine and find that, because again of the perfect pressure and fullness, even just the bullet vibe adds a delicious note and I can feel that on my g-spot. Just because the lower half of the Jollet is more “traditional dildo” style, please don’t thrust it. It’s just not meant for that, and you’ll likely find it uncomfortable. Clench down on it, rock it a bit. But no thrusting. I prefer to use my Jollet with a partner, because then they can turn it and also make sure that the g-spot bump is always turned up the correct way. Unlike the Jollie, this one can be turned all around.


ETA: Jollies, LLC the company went under a few years ago. The owners children, however, decided to breathe new life in and they are now making these dildos (along with other interesting silicone things) under Chavez Dezingz. Or something like that. You can view their dildos for sale at their Etsy store

Why yes, I can talk even more about these two toys!! To get down to a little bit more nitty-gritty, and all the specs and such, you can read my reviews located at EdenFantasys. The Jollie here, and the Jollet here.