Apr 072009

It seems that my dominant side is never the most prevalent. But when it does come out to play….I feel ruthless. Bitch extraordinaire. I have not had any experience dominating a woman be it in person or virtually, but I’ve already discussed (here and with others) my desire to do so.

I also must point out that I’ve never been much of a fan of the humiliation aspect of D/s, either receiving or doling out. Something more sinister, however, has popped up inside of me lately and I am finding myself aroused by the strangest things. A few weeks ago, at a meeting at work for our new unit assignments, the group was asked to do the school-classroom bullshit of “stand up and tell us about yourself”. Let it be known that I hate this. I am not comfortable speaking in front of people, even in such a casual setting. So I felt for this girl, I really did. She appears to be younger than me; pretty in a cute and “I’m trying to look cool” way. Perhaps someone I might be friends with. From my vantage point behind her and to her right, I was able to glance at her occasionally. When she stood up to speak each time, I noticed that she blushed furiously. She did not stammer, she did not show any other outward signs of feeling awkward. But I thought that the blushing was very cute. I think, partly, because at first glance her body language, style, etc was more “I’m cooler than you and this is all so lame” – but oh, what do we have here….vulnerability. Shyness.

I have read erotica- male narrator, shy and blushing female subject – of the similar nature. The man is dominating, domineering, pushy and delighting in her awkwardness. Aware that beneath the fear and nervousness lies arousal. I did not want to be in the shoes of the female, no, I think I more wanted to be the aggressor.

In my past fantasies of dominating a woman, I was never alone. It was a threesome. Perhaps a shared toy between a dominant and I. Perhaps a shared toy between a submissive man and I. But always, he was involved. I might have had the reigns of control but he was active in it. The fantasy has changed, morphed or perhaps I just have another one. He doesn’t participate. Instead, he watches passively. An audience. Another element to heighten her embarrassment and shyness.

I’ll be ruthless, while the one who trained me watches with pride. I will show her precious size 6 little ass no fucking mercy. As she is bent in half in a standing-hogtied sort of way, her cunt is bared to me like a split peach. I can easily go from inflicting pain on her ass to her cunt.

But no….that only satisfies part of my desire. I wanna make her squirm. Blush. Cry. I want to break her.

I don’t want a slut who’s at ease with her sexuality. I don’t want a whore who’s been around this block a time or two. I want a girl who cringes when sex words roll off her tongue. I want to make her say cunt and clit and suck and nipple and fuck and I want her to blush while she says this stuff. Tease her with these words and the pain (the bittersweet raw pain) and the begging until she’s crying.

She enjoys it though. Beneath the blushing and the cringing and the crying and the whimpering and the pink-red skin from my slapping and flogging she is dripping wet and aroused beyond belief. And that’s why I’ll love it, that’s what will fuel me to dig deeper. Before I break her, before she’ll full-on beg to come all over my hand, I’ll torture her. I’ll have to. Leave her at the edge of her orgasm…..make her watch me get fucked (and loving it) from my Dom. Taunt her with my orgasm. It’s going to be hard for her to watch, her instinct will be to turn her head but I won’t let her.

I want to watch the boiling point of her arousal and humiliation come to a head and erupt. At my command, at my hand. I want to break her…..and laugh at her misery. An evil giggle, a demeaning chuckle.

I’ve got a few things/issues/grievances/hurts of late that I need to take out on some poor girl. I just need to find a suitable one. Now accepting applications….

Jan 182009


It’s all about what I can do with my mouth. And lips. And tongue.

The need starts before anything else, before I even meet the person. When they arouse me, my mind first and foremost craves a kiss. As flirtation and seduction continue, even though I might crave a whole host of sexual things, when my desire is at its deepest my need to make-out with that person is nearly overwhelming. Even in dreams this is evident. For some reason my sexual dreams never include actual penetration. I rarely remember what anyone’s hands were doing or what they felt like. It’s just the kissing.

One last thought on the kissing aspect – how a person kisses is a make-or-break for me. If they can never get beyond soft, gentle and tame…yawn. Loose and sloppy….blech. Worse are the guys whose style is akin to a retarded lizard. They just open their mouths wide, the only thing moving is their tongue in my mouth, flopping around wildly like a fish out of water…..holy geezus a big fat Next!! Perfection is a changing combo – sometimes restrained hovering/brushing of lips, building up the lust; soft and gentle mixed with deep and passionate; mix it up with moderate quick mingling of tongues, teeny bites and sucking of bottom lips. Oh and of course this blissful perfection would be punctuated by some hair-pulling here and there, the occasional hand around my throat if he’s dominant, and sometimes hands touching my face.


I’m sorry, where was I?

The oral fixation isn’t limited to just kissing, no no. I’ve already waxed poetic on my love for cock sucking. But I find that when I’m receiving intense pleasure, my mouth just needs to be occupied. My favorite? I’m masturbating with a vibrator and sucking a cock. That’s near heaven. I might lose my concentration when I’m nearing orgasm and forget to keep up the rhythm, but my varying moans with my mouth full of cock are more than enough to make up for that, I think.

Oral fixations are certainly not reserved for cocks….luckily, female bodies are meant for lip to skin contact. Smooth and soft skin. Breasts and nipples can lull me into occupation for a little bit. Complex cunts to explore orally. When I spy photos (particularly at HNT time) of delectable naked breasts, my tongue immediately reacts and wants to get busy. There was a recent (very) young woman with whom I flirted for a short bit – I sadly never saw full nudity but I saw quite enough to set me off. I don’t know if it was her curvy lush body or pale skin but oh fuck I could have feasted on her body for hours….literally.

Speaking of curves and lush – you can imagine the salivating I did this morning upon seeing my girl Coy Pink‘s latest photo post. I am a bit envious of these photos…not only do I not have a husband who’s a wonderful photographer, but I simply could not look this delectable. I won’t link directly to it, for I want you to see all of the photos but you should be sure to check out the last one, the click-thru. I’m surprised I didn’t try to lick the screen, this is how badly I felt the need to bury my face in her cunt.

I think my need for oral is a big driving force behind wanting a threesome or more. Adding in another body and especially adding in yet another body makes it so that my mouth is almost guaranteed to find solace in skin.

There’s something that I do when I’m alone and aroused, like reading a steamy piece of erotica on someone’s blog or in a novel. I’ll find myself subconsciously running the pad of my thumb lightly and slowly over my bottom lip as I’m reading. As I become increasingly more aroused, my mouth will open a very slight bit and my lips part…..the caressing thumb meets the soft tippy-tip of my tongue. Back over wet lips for a bit, and so on. It isn’t anything very obvious to anyone else I don’t think. It’s subtle and might come off as a bored fidget. For, you see, when I’m aroused my mouth just needs to be occupied.

And you should see me when I’m consuming a popsicle or lollipop or similar…whenever my partner spies me with any of those, it’s a near-instant erection for him. Even when I’m not doing anything intentionally. I can’t think why….

For more of the oral fixation pics, see this week’s HNT

Jan 112009


There is a way to catapult me over the line of neutrality straight into submission. If done right, the shift is immediate.

Two years ago there was a young man I was briefly involved with who was a switch. I knew he was capable of being very submissive and downright dirty, but his attitude was full-on toppy brat. I loved it. I was working my way to getting into my dominant side, but he pulled a move that had never been done before to me and the effect was astounding. He kissed me – great kisser, that boy – a hard, deep kiss and his hand went to the back of my head. His fingers pushed against my scalp, through my hair, at the nape of my neck. His fingers full of as much hair as he could get, he closed his hand into a fist and firmly pulled. It was the hottest thing ever and boom – I felt submissive. I never was able to get back into the dominant frame of mind with him, and that’s what he wanted from me – my dominance. We had fun hanging out, making out, but it never went very far because of the D/s stalemate.

I’ve been with a handful of guys since then and I find it funny that very few could do the hair pulling trick as well as the original. There is a specific way so that it is arousing and firm but not sharp and “ow you’re pulling my hair out by the root”. In the middle, at the bottom, with fingers spread so that a large area is being pulled when your close your hand to a fist, you should grab it as close to the root as possible. All of that is needed for it to be a successful move.

When it is done correctly as I am being kissed, and therefore not aware of it until it happens, the effect is obvious and immediate. A moan and a whimper, my knees might buckle a bit, and the jolt of arousal is so swift and sharp that the breath is nearly knocked out of me. I am like a puppet, and that spot directly controls my cunt. I feel it there as much as at the juncture of fingers and hair.

But this is not the only moment to use this move on me………

As I am being fucked from behind it serves as the reins to pull me back closer to your mouth, so that you may growl filthy words in my ear.

As I am sucking your cock, so that you may guide my speed and rhythm.

As I am kneeling before you, so that you may force me to look up at you.

As your lips are travelling over my body, so that you may have better access to another spot that sets me on fire……..which I’ll tell you about another time.

Aug 242008

The best pleasure comes from denial of said pleasure.

Drag it out. Make him wait.

With dangerous eyes and a smirk of teasing mischief, I drag one palm down his chest. Like a homing missile, my fingertips deftly locate the solid head of his cock which is trapped in his jeans and pointing at such an awkward angle….poor thing. Some circular rubbing to tease through fabric before I abandon it for the buttons and zipper. His cock springs forward after its long-awaited release, already glistening with pre-come.

With my hand wrapped around his cock I rub the semen over the tip, a momentary feel of lubrication on dry skin. I run my hand lightly from the base, up the underside, skit over the head, back down the topside. Repeat. Watch his cock dance and his body twitch in anticipation.

My hand goes lower to grip the base firmly and I let just the tip of my tongue drag up his cock from the base, stopping halfway. Again, going a little farther. Again, up to the tip. Again, this time with a flatted tongue, firm pressure. When I hear the sharp intake of breathe and see his cock twitch as I near the frenulum, I pause there. Lower lip pressed against hard silky flesh, my tongue now languishing on that spot. There is no other movement save for my tongue. Just a few….more…centimeters and he would be in my mouth. He is holding is breathe now, I can tell, waiting for me to plunge him into warm wetness.

But I drag back down with my lips. Back up with my tongue. Closer now, he can feel moist breathe enveloping the head of his cock and my tongue swirls in circles around it. Almost….nope. Not yet.

He is shaking. His legs are trembling. His hands alternate between clenching and opening, going for my head. He is contemplating an act of force, I know, out of sheer desperation. But he knows that this time I am in control, and he lets me do my thing.

My next acrobatic tongue-trip up lands my lips wrapped around the head. No sucking. Just swirling tongue, pressure of lips, wetness and heat.

I stop. Stare at him. Teasing smirk on my end, begging eyes on his end.

In a moment, he’ll get his due.


Ok seriously, isn’t that picture pretty cool? Bought a new camera Saturday – it is not my coveted DSLR but it is such a little whore for attention with its big bag of tricks. This neat little thing was called “color accent”. The whole bra is red but the color accent is finicky and likes certain lighting. There’s another from this series to come in due time. This teasing session started with an awful case of blue-balls by the lucky man taking the photos. As he expressed his growing problem and desperate want, I merely giggled and told him to continue with the pictures. Waiting never killed anyone…

Jul 202008

I’m a very orally fixated person. It is evident in my appreciation for gourmet food. My longing and love of a good long makeout session. My occasional cigarette.

My inability to resist wrapping my lips around a hard cock.

Hard firm cock, soft smooth skin. It is my aim to reduce you to a blithering, sexually-crazed shell of a man. My hands, eyes, lips, tongue all just gravitate to a hard cock.

A firm hand around the base, stroking with the rhythm of my mouth, up and down. A twist perhaps of my head on the upward pull of suction. Swirling tongue over the head. Warm soft hand caressing balls, firmly pressing the perineum.

I crave the taste of the skin, my tongue memorizing you. Up, down, soft and firm, shaft and head, balls and more. I am hungry, I can’t get enough.

You will not know which way is north; the distinction between warm wet mouth and sloppy wet fingers is soon indiscernible. Our moans mingle together. Weave your fingers through my hair at the nape, guide me. Teasingly slow yet strong suction. Lingering down low, teasing at the tip. Faster, your moans egg me on, your hands pushing me just enough. Saliva running down your shaft, lubricating my fingers that work their own brand of magic. Slurping, devouring you, never enough, give me more of you. Hands, mouth, blurred.

I look up at you with fuck-me eyes, but instead they say “cum for me, lover”.