Oct 2, 2008

Pass/Fail

You all know I’ve put up craigslist ads. I’ve got a profile over on Okcupid, and another spot. *sigh* I mean, do some of these guys truly think they have game? Are they looking over their message before clicking send and thinking “yeah, I got this one in the bag”?

First, let’s be positive and look at the ones that get a response from me (which is only about 15% of the time it seems, because I’m picky and want something rare – personality and the ability to type)

Subject: you had me at provincial french cooking
“seriously, hard hard messy foodgasm. mmmmm…
hi, i’m —- and in lust with you and your profile. so, yeah.”

There’s more, it’s all cute and witty and complimentary and made me smile.But I won’t post the whole thing, it would bore you I’m sure.

Next….

“A. You are incredibly gorgeous. No, really. You have no idea.
2. I wish you were not 612 miles away.
iii. I HATE textspeak in email. I have 2 friends that do this on a regular basis, and they are both advisors at colleges. How some can work in education and make themselves sound that unintelligent is beyond me.”

He did the “A” “2″ thing, and I didn’t do that anywhere in my profile. But I tend to do that frequently, especially when speaking. Freaky. And it shows he actually read all the way down to the bottom of my profile.

There have been a few more, who weren’t the wittiest right off the bat but had a photo that caught my eye and they seemed “real”, had a personality. But they baffle me. We email back and forth, things are going very well and sparks are flying….photos are being well received to say the least…I show him the blog. Conversation finally takes the proper turn, and they really like what they see and read. But then, conversation dies off within a week. When it comes time to say “Hey we’re both interested, let’s meet”, nothing happens. It’s more complicated than that, but that’s the Readers Digest version. Why contact a local person, why answer their “FWB” ad on CL, why go through the trouble of a week of sexy conversation just to chicken out of meeting? I’m very disappointed in a few guys right now, and kicking their chicken asses to the curb I think.

Fails – I will (almost) never respond back to the fails. Most, to be honest, are things like “hey ur hott, lets fuck” or some shit. *sigh* But then you really get to see some fucktards.

“Hey are you really real. I’ve already sent an e-mail and the only thing I got back were clubs to join up to (Not interested) If your real I guess I receive legitimate e-mail back. I cant assume so I have to ask are you 21 or older if not the buck stops here. I have no interest in messing with a kids mind.”

Now, I have to interrupt here. In my CL ad I made a point of saying “Hey, I’m real! Come on, what spam bot is gonna post on CL as a BBW??” AND I posted pics, casual things. If you have half a braincell you can look at the fake ads, and then mine, and know I’m not selling a website. So, I had to bite here. After all he had complied and sent a photo of himself.

Me: Come on, did my ad really look like that of a spammer? Really now, I tried very hard to assure you men that I am real. Is there a secret boys-only-club password I should have known? A handshake? A grunt? Hmmm hard to portray the handshake/grunt via text…..

His reply: Ok all seems well, Send me another Picture of yourself.

Me: LOL

um, no

His reply: What you didn’t like the picture.

I’m copying here word for word people. Lack of punctuation and all. I went on and actually told him, bluntly, what all pissed me off. To his credit, he came back with a more thought-out email, punctuation, and showed a general ability to think like a homosapiens. But it was too late.

“r u into piss”

That’s usually not a good thing to start off with, unless this is Collarme or something.

“WE MATCH AT LIKE 70% SO WHAT THE HELL ARE U WAITING FOR???????????”

I get this after I ignored 2 of his messages, telling me to check out his (empty) profile.

“Subject: BBW are you one?”

Fucktard, R u 1?

Perhaps I should just stick to my blogger boys. At the least I know you have great personality, know how to type, and share similar interests. Unfortunately most of you are way the hell on the other coast.

A bonus photo (that I wasn’t going to post) just because you guys aren’t fucktards. At least most of the time you’re not ;) heheheheee

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Sep 12, 2008

Posted by Lilly | 8 Comments

Between Order and Randomness

Another boring update post ;)

I had meant to post the other 2 half-decent photos from last Friday’s escapades, but that will wait for next week. Monday is a toy review, Tuesday announces a little contest for the wonderful highly-rated sex toy that I’m able to give away.

Two toys on their way to me for review are designed to fill me up. One is solid smooth and pretty big around. The other is wood. Yep, wood. Last minute edit: The hardwood dildo arrived today. I’m impressed. And Q will be happy to know that I’m a bit intimidated.

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Remember the cat I rescued? I heard from Cat Lady today. She wanted to let me know that two nights after I rescued little girl, she birthed her kittens. 2 grey and 1 black. She’s had to stay on with the Cat Lady until momma and babies are safe to be moved. Momma has taken on duties as surrogate to others, a calico or two that were rescued without a momma to take care of them. I feel a lot better now, I had good timing in getting her away from the mean people and this area.

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It’s always a bit melancholy when someone slowly pulls away from your life. Online-only or not, the closeness is still there, and in a lot of ways they know a deeper more “real” you than real-life friends. At least when you have deep dark secrets like me ;) T’s abrupt exit was easier to handle, as we never were at a point where we spoke every day. This one still reads my blog I think, but no longer flirts and barely says hello. C’est la vie…..he taught me a few things, all good. I treasure the friends that I know are reliable and “real” like —-, Devil, Q of course, and a few female blogger friends that seem to be the real deal as well (I’m usually, oddly I suppose, better friends with men). I’m happy to see more of a female presence in my comments section, it rounds things out quite nicely! Goddamn shame though that most of them live too far away.

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If you’ve noticed, I’ve not had much in the way of fiction, good fiction, lately. Having a bit of writers block. I need a few good shoving-off points of exhibitionist/voyeuristic ideas.

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My work situation will be changing in a few months, getting a bit of a promotion and moving to another building within the same department. I’ll know next week what the office looks like, and what I can expect as far as my worktime antics are concerned. I’m a bit nervous on that…..

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There’s a few sexy things I’m lusting after right now. One is shortly going to become a necessity! For Your Nymphomation has a great line of sextoy (and condom) storage cases of all sizes. Even a bridal line! (now that’s a fuckin honeymoon). I think I’m in need of this one but…..wow, a bit out of my price range! At least for the foreseeable future. Hmmm a naughty christmas gift perhaps?

Njoy is a line of stainless steel toys that are high-quality and very well designed – also very highly rated by any blogger I’ve seen review them. I want this one. Apropo, it’s quite pricey. And I’ll just leave it at “quite pricey”, heh. Talk about being out of my price range…!

I currently don’t have anyone to practice rope bondage on me, but…perhaps in the near future. I’d like to get some good rope, I hear Twisted Monk is a good place. Nice colors, already conditioned. I would want black, of course. Perhaps some accent color….Statutory Grape sounds fun!

And finally….if I’m going to dream big, I should go all out. I have no hope of getting one of these anytime in the next 5 years. The Liberator Esse is the ultimate in “sex furniture”. AAG recently mentioned she has one. I watched a few videos on the manufacturer’s site, as if photos didn’t tempt me enough. Oof. WANT.

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Aug 20, 2008

Posted by Lilly | 9 Comments

Ramble On

I love how you guys just let me prattle on and bounce randomly between subjects in these sorts of posts. But really, if you think I should just shut up, let me know ;)

Toys

I’m going to be reviewing for Babeland and Edenfantasys, now as well, and also will occasionally receive a toy from the high-end company LELO of Sweden who make quite a number of vibes that I find impressive (and rechargeable!). As with VibeReview, if you guys ever see things you like from these companies, please buy from my links and I’ll get credit for it!

Seriously. I need good, creative ideas for sex toy storage! We live in a somewhat small one-bedroom apartment and it’s full as it is. The steamer-trunk idea I had is falling to the wayside as there wouldn’t be any room for one! The problem with these cute toy box/containers on the sex toy websites is that they’re not meant for a lot of vibes, or the larger ones like Hitachi Magic Wand and Miracle Massager.
My closet doors don’t ever close, so the shoe-bag idea won’t work. The underbed area is limited. I have a headboard but not a nightstand. All bureaus and such are crammed full of clothes. *sigh*

Boys

Drinks-date tonight. Should be interesting….enough to “write home” about? Hoping so!

Friendship matters with R remain strong, and the sexual side is coming back slowly. We’re both busy. This too, shall pass.

FRIDAY – I still need something to do, somewhere to go!! Refuse to sit home. For some reason I’ve been terribly craving some good seafood from my favorite places down in Maryland (eastern shore, bay side area). Cannot afford, alas.

My ass

Rachel Kramer Bussel is a pretty big name in anthology books, right up there with Violet Blue. She’s an editor and a writer (and I hear something about cupcakes?? YUM). Her newest book right now, Spanked, is on a “virtual book tour” around some popular sex blogs who each got a copy and are reviewing it. On my last HNT Scrabble pic of my Spank Me ass, Marcello says “you should send RKB a link, she’d love this!” *shrugs* ok, sure.

Then yesterday I start noticing all these hits to the post in question. My ass (the actual picture) is up on her blog for the book, her tumblr, and her Amazon.com blog. HAHAHA!! When I realized this I was sitting here at work. Clapped a hand over my mouth to prevent a “LOL” moment in a quiet office, and then proceeded to blush as red as my ass was in the pic. Holy Crap!

Invitation

I’m inviting all my readers to tell me about their best voyeuristic experience. Email me about it. Perhaps I’ll do a posting about it, leaving it anonymous for you of course. Perhaps I’ll create an erotic story from it for you. Just share :) Nothing lengthy, just some details about what/who/when/where this occurred.

And I’m serious about this request for stories! All you who’ve occasionally been brave enough, say hi again. Those who haven’t yet, don’t be shy….

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Aug 12, 2008

Posted by Lilly | 6 Comments

Let’s Catch Up, Shall We?

Ahh, the lovely Heather of VibeReview has gathered up my next box o’ fun for reviewing, and I’m so terribly excited. Enough that I may need to take an afternoon “doctor appointment” to be home for the UPS man (although hopefully this time he won’t catch me in a flimsy nightgown, face flushed and obvious).

Japanese G-Spot Squirmy
Hitachi Magic Wand (I. Cannot. Wait.)
Venus Penis 2 (hello, new work toy….)
We Vibe (squeee!!!)

I am so excited about these toys. Each one of them I’ve been lusting after. I already know that the Venus Penis 2 will be used at work….or elsewhere outside the privacy of my apartment. Perhaps even the We Vibe as well for that purpose, we’ll see.

New Friends…

Chatted up a very “friendly” new blogger acquaintance last evening. A few hours of flirtatious salacious emails back and forth was very ….. entertaining. To say the least. He’s over there in my blogroll, but I won’t call him out just yet. Like me he has a thing for getting off, getting others off and writing about it. He also has a penchant for phonesex, like me. I think I may be getting naughty with him very soon….stay tuned…

I have a lot of loyal readers who email me their praises rather than comment. Whichever, I like hearing from you. One sent me a lovely, tempting and teasing photo showing a clearly outlined hard cock in his pants, with my blog up on his laptop screen. THAT was damn nice. I had one reader find me on Twitter yesterday. His weaving and lyrical words made me follow him down the path curiously…and then I wake to find him gone. Did I imagine it? I don’t know who he was, but he sounded familiar in a way. I’d like him to come back.

How to NOT get me in bed: (this from a potential from a dating site, not a reader. my boys are smarter than this)

Durr: oh i would so fuck you
Durr: your cute
Durr: i think we should fuck
Lilly: really now…
Durr: yah
Lilly: and why do you think that?
Durr: cuz i think we would enjoy it, a little boom boom at the end of the day

FAIL.

However, there are a few other prospects I’ve found through a new (to me) site. Some very intriguing prospects. I’m almost unable to keep track of them….almost. ;)

Was itching to change the look and layout of my blog a bit. I hunted down templates but never saw one I liked. I can’t make my own, nor tweak. I saw something on the blogger dashboard about new vs old templates and widgits, but I see none of this new shit. Where is it?

But for now, I created a banner sort of thing. ish. kinda.

August 22nd – my next day off. I had had plans for this day….but they have fallen through. I really would rather not sit home all day and think “what might have been”, so I’m trying to look for something new to do.

Any suggestions?? ;)

Last month I reviewed the Miracle Massager. While I liked it, I think the Hitachi might be more up my alley. However…the nice lower vibrations are just perfect for a different sort of application. It works veeeerrrrrry well on men.
Because the Hitachi was originally marketed and “intended” for use as a muscle/back massager, I decided to try out the Miracle Massager on my partners back, as he was in quite a bit of pain from a rough work week. Gave him a nice 15 minute massage with it and it helped greatly.

But since the mere sound of a vibrator, despite its use (i.e. on him not me, and not sexual), gets me going and the going got frisky. And I slipped the vibrating head quickly down his ass and nestled it right around his anus and balls. Oh, I got a good reaction. REAL good. Flipped him over and tried it out everywhere else. He thoroughly enjoyed the sensation against his frenulum (eyes rolling back in his head, mouth gaping, nothing but short bursts of heavy breathing), he enjoyed it at the base of his cock and balls. But the best was when I firmly pressed it at the perineum/anus area. Then combine that with some good handiwork or mouth action….the bed shook. I’m not kidding. The sheets were bunched up. All in all, it was an experience that I found myself jealous of!
It’s clearly a toy for everyone to love.

His back was massaged multiple times over the weekend.

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Jul 29, 2008

Posted by Lilly | 8 Comments

Switching Teams or Playing Both Sides?

Disappointed with the results I’ve been getting from local men on Craigslist I decided to visit the other side for a bit and see what I can catch.

I answered a few W4W ads and posted one of my own. We shall see…..

I must admit, I’ve never truly flirted much with another woman. Perhaps a bit online, but never in person. My previous encounters just…happened. One was part of a threesome. I tend to go through phases as to which gender I sexually prefer, and I seem to have been in the men’s camp for quite some time.

Speaking of tits….. ;)

As soon as this week’s fresh crop of tits are posted, be sure to check them out. I submitted a previously-unseen pic from the collar-and-leash series: