One of the *very amazing* people I met in NYC recently is Princess Kali. My first impression of her was how genuinely nice and sweet she is and how you just feel at ease around her. Beneath that sweetness is an air of poise and control that commands respect quietly.

Wait no, scratch that.

That was my second impression.

My first impression was staring discretely at her lithe ballerina-like body as she grabbed her breakfast in the hotel lounge, wearing this tiny stretchy little black dress with no bra and these big menacing black punk boots. Duh yes I wondered if she was wearing panties. *grins* Sadly she was, hot pink. Of course, by the time I realized that, I also found out that she is a pro Domme and so I tried my very very best to be discrete and respectful in my perving (moreso than usual, that is. I’m nothing if not a discrete and respectful perv). In other words folks, she’s hot – just rolled out of bed with no makeup and no effort. When she’s dressed to the nines for her sessions and such? It makes me reconsider a few things ;)

In addition to her regular site, Kali is the headmistress and founder of The Kink Academy. It’s not a free site but it’s really worth the admission price ($9.95 a month) because of the vast amount of knowledge and lessons shared. It’s better than a book because many lessons are in video form – I don’t know about you but watching someone show me how to do things is easier for me than just reading directions.

The topics that are covered are in a vast range of kink and experience level. The mildly kinky can get information on corsets (how to lace, how to buy, etc), floggers (how to, the different types of floggers and the sensations they bring), anal play (for men and women), condoms, lubes and sextoys and so on. Those wishing to extend their BDSM knowledge can learn more about fire play, how to use a dragon tail whip, pet play, age play, liquid latex, service and protocols, and a lot more. The sheer volume of information and range of topics will appeal to a large number of people. There’s a number of topics that I know I could have used a few years ago when I started out as a Top (knowing what I know now I can’t bring myself to say that I was a Domme). The information on this site seems to be much more realistic and usable than the information I gleaned from books such as “The Mistress Manual” or “The Sexually Dominant Woman” – I found those and similar books to be largely ridiculous to me and found myself thinking “Oh no WAY could I say that!!”. The information that Kink Academy gives you can be specific or generic enough for you to build from, all while helping you gain confidence via knowledge that you may currently lack via experience.

Going beyond one-sided information, there is a forum where you can ask a specific question for one of the instructors to answer or interact with other members. Princess Kali has done an amazing job with this site and I hope that it becomes as big of a success as it deserves to be.

In the gift bags at the NYC Sex Blogger Calendar Party, we were given a voucher for a free month subscription to the site – it expires December 1st  though (meaning you have to redeem it by then, not that the free month runs out by then) so I don’t need to use it – if any of you would like it, please leave a comment here. I have only this one code so the first person interested in it will get it.

Tags: bdsm, kink, NYC, reviews

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	from	Lilly <xxxxx@gmail.com>
to		R <xxxxx@gmail.com>
date		Wed, Jun 3, 2009 at 8:33 PM
subject		nsfw pics attached….her gift

Sir;

I shared with her the photo exactly as you asked, said what you told me to say, and nudged her to return something to us.

Attached are extra pics that I took, I thought that perhaps you would appreciate these.

The first photo shows that I had company. As I walked to my car I saw him sitting there in his truck, lights on. That car next him also has someone in it. They were waiting on someone I guess. So he saw me get into my car and start it but not leave. Maybe he saw me arch upwards as I pulled my jeans and panties down. And if I could see him in my side mirror…..perhaps he could see me, if his vision was good enough. He was two rows back. He couln’t have seen my hands  but he would have seen my face, the obvious face of orgasm.

I came hard staring at the cars behind me with this mental image playing:

You made me sit up on your desk, with my skirt bunched up to my hips and no panties on, my legs spread wide and my feet up on the desk on either side of my ass. My dripping wet cunt there for anybody to see and smell how aroused I was. As soon as a few men finally care enough to pause in their work they casually lean against the edges of the cube walls, arms crossed and heads tilted with measured stares as you show off your whore. You roughly shove in 4 fingers and then your thumb and start fucking me with your fist, hard. The desired effect….my gaping cunt hole when you remove your hand and unmercilessly press the bullet on high to my clit. My own slut is there at my side, one arm around my head in a comforting way. As I feel the orgasm begin, I move my mouth to her tits and paw my way through her shirt just to get my mouth around her nipple. I come, screaming, my mouth clamped down on her nipple. My cunt contracts and spasms and I feel the fluids running out of my wide-open cunt as the men, and you, just stare at me like perverts.

Tags: bdsm, conversations, D/s, fantasy, her, masturbation, microfantasy, Photos, R, real life, slut, submission

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The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.   ~Terry Pratchett

An outside source had sparked some deep searching thoughts in myself and some conversations between he and I about submission and then specifically my submission.

Our relationship is mostly  not about D/s. The basis is close friendship and in that we are equals. Sexually, I’m his submissive; I consider him my Master. But yet I still fight it. The following of orders. Orders I don’t necessarily like or want to do at that moment. There are even sexual things, fantasies, that I will go along with that I don’t actually like…..I’m doing it to please my Master.

Half of me says to that: WTF! Grow a backbone, sister! Your mind is goin about this allll wrong. You are being a doormat and you need to fuckin stand up for yourself!

Other half of me says to that: Pleasing your dominant doesn’t always mean it’s a bed of roses for the submissive. But a good dominant knows enough about his submissive to know that right now she’s not ok with it and won’t like it, but when it happens after the first or second time…..she’ll like it. And so far, for the most part, that’s been the case. There were things I didn’t want that I now think “ohhhh yes that’s hot, yes I want to do it – for myself and for him”.

I’m not really sure all the time just where the D/s side of our relationship stands (sometimes it is always there just bubbling under the surface, ready and able to pop out at any time but then other times real life intervenes and the D/s dynamic hasn’t seen the light of day in weeks) but I expressed an interest in wanting “more” submission. What is more? I don’t yet know. Perhaps in my ramblings here and feedback from you I can figure it out.

Mollena wrote up a very non-linear “thinking out blog” posting that’s kinda-sorta along this vein and she nailed it with the term I had been searching for: Obedience versus Submission.Except that her and I have different viewpoints.

To me, obedience is….god, many things I don’t like. The situations I have been in that one has to “be obedient” are always situations that make me feel demeaned. Looked down upon. Retail jobs are a big part of this. We’re taught that the customer is always right and all that crap. I took a lot of shit working in retail as long as I did. Both from customers and managers. But I had to behave a certain way. I had to curtsy and smile and say “I’ll do my best to help you” when I was really seething inside because they had treated me like a piece of dirt. When what I really wanted to say is “Learn how to fucking treat people better, you twat. You are dead wrong on this matter – quit acting like a spoiled brat and get the fuck out!” But…..I couldn’t say that and keep my job. Then I took an office job in which my boss was a scatterbrained tyrant who scared the poop out of me. Partly him, partly my fault – he’d demand such-and-such right this instant and if I didn’t know where it was in 2 seconds, I panicked thinking perhaps I lost it. Again, I was obedient and almost subservient to him and I resented it. I resented him and the job and the fact that I needed to keep that job. There were times when he treated me like shit. Verbally. Made me feel worthless and 2 inches tall.

R is naturally a blunt fellow in all aspects, even when we’re just in “friend” dynamic. He is not trying to be mean, not at all. But combine a blunt person with a person who is a bit overly sensitive in some areas….And then combine all that with his Dom side? It’s not always easy.

R: Go in and take a pic of your tongue on your own nipple. Send to her AND CC to me

me: ok….

R: tell her it is a gift from R

*swats your ass* go

me: going.

me: back. and sent.

R: then why don’t I see it in my inbox

you sent to her and CC’d me?

me: no, i forwarded it from my phone to you and to my email. from my email on to her.

R: I’m confused

me: she doesn’t know my cell number, she wouldn’t know who its from. so i had to send it from my phone to my own email address, first.

R: yes…and from your e-mail to the both of us? Or just each of us separately?

that’s the part where I’m confused.

me: from my email to just her. i sent it to YOU via my phone.

R: this is not what I told you to do, now is it.

and the pic is not the one I told you to take either.

I fail to understand why you “do whatever you want to do” when I give you a specific task.
it kills me, actually.

So can you see, then, how some areas of being a submissive (especially to someone who can have an evil unforgiving streak when he’s deep into that frame of mind) are big old red trigger buttons that make me want to set my jaw and harden my stare and say “Fuck you, no I won’t.” Or get bratty. Or try to prove him wrong when he makes a challenging statement about me.

I didn’t always want submission. In fact, until this past year, I didn’t quite understand it. What it did for others. Why it was ok and it wasn’t abusive, or how the submissive could like it and not feel demeaned. I know now, I’ve read the writings of others who identify as submissive and I opened my mind. But for a while….all I wanted was rough sex. Kinky sex. Hold-me-down-and-make-me-powerless sex. With R, that evolved. It still is evolving. I went from identifying more as a “bottom” no matter what to acquiescing to being submissive…but it’s only with him. I do not feel submissive with just anyone. It is an earned right with me. It is rare. I can and do crave the bottom role with others; the roughness, receiving pain and pleasure, not being the one in control.

I’m not sure what it stems from, but I tend to do things to make others happy. Make them like me? And sometimes I think that I rationalize “If I do this for him, he’ll like me more.”. I know, I know, it’s 876 kinds of fucked up. I know. But its subconscious – I don’t actually think that out loud…in fact I didn’t even realize that it was an aspect of it until a week ago. And I must admit that I didn’t like that realization. Will R leave me if I don’t want anal sex? Will R like me more if I swallow? As a person? No, he won’t. In that moment sexually, I’m sure he would though, lol.

Still, quite a lot of the D/s dynamic feels like a scolding parent-child boss-servant dynamic. Feels like it. It’s not. But that’s where I’m at sometimes in my head and why I get defiant. R is not doing anything “wrong”. I read of other dominants who make him look tame. Alright, not tame per se but a whole lot more tolerable. I need to work on this and learn how to meld D/s obedience into my submission and let go of my past conceptions on obedience.  Because I don’t like feeling that way. It does, however, provide a bit of work for him….I do not just lay down and serve. It makes him bring out his Dominance even more. That part I suspect he likes. So I don’t want to turn into the Stepford Wife version of a submissive.

I still hold myself taut when submitting. I cannot fully let go. That’s something that I want to work on with him. As I said before, I want “more” – except that I can’t get more when I don’t know what I’m asking for or how to ask for it.

Please, weigh in. Lengthy comments are welcome. I’d like to hear from everyone whether you identify as dominant, submissive or switch. (note: any bashing of R and his style of dominating, or anything really, won’t be tolerated. period.) I’d really like to hear if others agree/disagree with how I see obedience and submission and if not….give me your take on it all. Thanks.

A Related Post:

~ Submission: Give and Take

Tags: bdsm, blogging out loud, conversations, D/s, headspace, obedience, R, real life, submissive

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I told her I wanted her to come for me. Not just for me but for ME. What I had in mind was risky but the high erotic factor of it was clouding my brain and I just wanted it. Hadda have it. I felt my greed take over.

But first….the torture.

Off and on throughout the day.

……and what if Barry, the guy across the aisle and down one, can smell your wet cunt as you…..

……i would do it if you told me to but please….please don’t make me go to……

…..Sarah, don’t you want to show off that body? I know I do, I want to show you off while…..

…..i am torn with your words and torn between wanting and not wanting….

Little bits and what-if’s peppered into the day. I grew more sadistic and suggestive as the afternoon wore on, my mix of humiliation and erotic sensual scenarios had her begging for respite. Just begging for me to allow my slut to escape to the 8th floor restroom for a quick wank. I denied her time and again and told her she needed to wait until 5pm. I wouldn’t tell her why. But oh can you just imagine…a horny girl, skirt and no panties? Hard to resist, isn’t it….

I went to her desk to get her promptly at 5. The majority of people in the office, in the building in fact, worked earlier shifts. Very few people were left and they all tended to practically run for the elevators at 4:58. I leaned down and whispered “Sarah….spread your legs for me…” She glanced around, as if I hadn’t already checked on this, and as she spread her legs I reached up her skirt. I ran my hand up the inside of her thigh and pushed it out to spread her further for me. I let my fingers trail over her mound before I slipped one finger past her lips to find that she was, quite literally, dripping wet. Thick and sticky. I roughly rubbed a finger over and around her clit for a few seconds before I pulled away. She was biting her lip to prevent herself from making a sound.

“Gather your things, Sarah, and follow me. Now.”

I took her to our favorite out-of-the-way restroom and headed to the back stall, the large handicapped one. As I entered it, she hesitated, until it was obvious that I was holding the door waiting for her to come in as well. She looked at me with such uncertainty but didn’t say anything. I hung our two bags on the back of the stall door; I stood just in front of the toilet and I had her stand facing me, her back to the door. I yanked her shirt up over her head, just the front of it, hooking it behind her neck. Her chest exposed but the shirt was still “on”.

Next, I shoved the cups of her bra down and under her tits. I couldn’t help myself, I couldn’t resist giving a firm hard pinch and pull to one nipple, just to watch her struggle with staying silent despite the pain and pleasure that caught her by surprise. I then lifted the front of her full knee-length skirt and shoved the material of it up and through the band of her bra. Her cunt and tits fully exposed for me but her clothes were still on. Depraved and beautiful.

As I kept an ear out for the telltale squeak of the door (I pray they never fix that loud squeak) I sat down on the toilet and whispered her instructions with my lips to her ear, threatening to graze her sensitive neck. She was to sit on my lap. Facing me. Bring her legs up off the floor if she could manage it. I lifted my own skirt up my body so that she would be sitting on my bare skin – there was purpose in this beyond the need to feel skin to skin.

My sweet girl complied and I stared at this gorgeous filthy girl who was mine and just inches away. We had never been quite this close before, this intimate.

“Come for me, slut. Right here, and hurry up.”

The warmth radiated from her cunt, her musky scent filled my nostrils and the decadent wet sloshy sounds nearly drove me insane with lust as she furiously rubbed her clit. Her chest broke out in redness, her brow furrowed in concentration – concentrating on coming for me but also being silent. I just could not help myself as I leaned my head forward and my mouth latched onto her nipple. A small, surprised squeak slipped past her lips as I roughly sucked and bit her. Suddenly her breathing was more erratic and quick; I stopped, leaned back and watched the show about to happen.

She clenched her eyes shut, tucked her chin and bit her lower lip. Then she held her breath for a few seconds and I knew she was climaxing when her eyes opened, her head tipped back and her mouth opened wide, lips forming a big “O”. I watched her cunt and I could partially see the spasms and contractions; my favorite sight. Her feet touched the ground and she put a hand on the stall wall to steady herself as her body came down from the high of climaxing.

I waved her off me and motioned for her to fix her clothing as I fixed my own and cleaned up (the damn slut left quite a mess on my thighs!). She then made a move to reach for the toilet paper to wipe away the wetness that was no doubt running down her thighs but I stopped her. I opened the stall door, peeked around and saw no one. I shoved her out ahead of me and finally was able to speak.

“You’re going to walk to your car like that, all sodden and slutty. The breeze will dry you while also carrying your scent to those around you. Don’t hide your face; act as if nothing is amiss and see if you can tell who notices. Report back to me tomorrow morning.”

I kissed her then, hard and crazed and full of lust.

We walked out together; I wanted to make sure she didn’t secretly detour to a bathroom before exiting the building. We walked our separate ways, while I practically ran for my car. I absolutely HAD to orgasm before I was fit for driving.

Part Two

Part One

Tags: bdsm, D/s, domination, erotica, fantasy, girls, Mistress Lilly, Sugasm Pick

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More Paddles |  More BDSM Gear

There were two reasons I requested this paddle to review. The first being the novelty factor of having something “imprint” the word SLUT on my ass. The second being that it was an affordable leather paddle of smaller length (only 12″).

The Slut paddle is made by Sportsheets. It’s basically made from two shapes of leather – they are stitched together with a metal flat rod running through for the handle (making it nice and solid) and then left “open” for the paddle part employing a “double slapper” type of paddle. In between the two pieces is a piece of red paper – that’s the red you see in the photograph. It’s sewn in there but for what purpose, I’m not sure. Aesthetics?

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Tags: bdsm, bdsm toys, reviews, sextoy.com, sextoys

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