Jan 052012

or A Guide to Sex Toy Reviewers: Stop Using Achievement Levels When Recommending a Sex Toy as Good or Bad It seems all too common in the reviewing community to label a crappy/weak vibrator as being “great for beginners”. I’m sure I even did it at some point when I first started reviewing, but that doesn’t excuse it. STOP DOING THIS. Just because someone is new to sex toys doesn’t automatically mean that they need or want a weak, surface-buzzy vibrator. Stop using this as a means to sugar-coat a crappy toy. You can surely say that someone who is very sensitive to vibrations and prefers subtle, gentle sensations would like that vibration that feels like a fairy blowing in the vicinity of your clit from a distance. That’s valid. But a beginner to sex toys is not always (frequently not) a beginner to sex or masturbation. In fact I might be so bold as

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Dec 282011
Remote Control Vibrators - Are any worth the money?

Update 2014: The Lelo Tiani no longer exists. A court found that Lelo was infringing on the We-Vibe, and Tiani 2 can’t be sold in the US or Canada anymore. I’m not sure if it exists overseas. Lelo tried to come up with a “better” and different couples vibe, the Ida, but failed spectacularly. There is now the We-Vibe 4, which fits better, but the remote isn’t the best for public play. One topic that I get asked a lot when I help people pick out sex toys is which wireless remote control vibrator I recommend for public play. Especially after the recent reviews of the Lelo Tiani and the We Vibe 3 people are hoping that finally something has come out on the market that isn’t the sex toy equivalent to what fast food really looks like – i.e. all hype with no delivery. It saddens me that when people ask me to recommend

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Dec 112011
Ask Lilly: Tips for Traveling with Sex Toys

Traveling with sex toys is anywhere from “no big deal” to “they’re pulling out my giant sparkling rabbit vibrator in front of 50 other people and it is flashing and whirring” (or finding a note with your vibrator in your checked luggage from the TSA with words of encouragement on your next jerk off session). If you’re not flying then there’s much less of a chance that someone will be rifling through your bag – but if you have kids or are going to stay with family during holiday travels then a little thought should be put into things. Too many times I’ve traveled without a vibrator and ended up regretting that decision. Mostly it was because I was visiting family and there are two issues with that: First, you don’t want paranoia about the noise to be interfering with your orgasm. Second, there’s always that chance that a close family member will need to

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Nov 102011
The Rabbit Vibrator: An Essay (Or Buying Guide)

The Rabbit Vibrator. Were it not for Sex and The City1, would this type of sex toy ever have gained the popularity that it has? Probably. Why? Because we are lured into the promised land of one toy (and therefore one hand) doing the job of two or even three toys, stimulating many spots at once like a talented lover or two in bed with you. My opinion? Rabbit vibrators are perhaps the biggest gimmick in the sex toy industry. Why “Rabbit”? While I don’t know the detailed historical timeline of these toys, the infamous Rabbit Vibrator2 used in Sex and the City is made by Vibratex, a Japanese company, and we know how they like to use animals in their vibrators. The clitoral stimulator is a cute wittle bunny wabbit head and ears…ahem. sorry. Theory is that the long jelly/TPR ears will flutter and stimulate your clitoris. Great for women who don’t want direct

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Oct 012011

A few weeks ago I got this question in my Formspring inbox and only now got around to answering it. All I know is what the person asked me, which was: My vibrator has a lingering rubbery smell to it, how can I get rid of that? What should I wash it with? Here’s my plain and simple answer: THROW IT OUT. The smell is coming from any number of things, and any one of those things has the potential to act like a toxic substance to the delicate mucus membranes of your genitalia. It could be that the toy is jelly and even if the packaging says “no phthalates” that doesn’t mean there aren’t a number of other irritating chemicals that are leaching out. True Pleasures once wrote about her worrisome time as a CalExotics Sexpert and the dodgy toys (and responses) she’d receive from them1. She received items that were claimed to be

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Jul 242011

Recently on OkCupid a very unlikely candidate messaged me and he eventually started questioning me on topics surrounding open marriage; apparently I was the first he’d run into on OKC who admitted to being in an open relationship. I suspect he wasn’t looking very hard. I’m very interested in trying open relationships for a change. In the past I would fall in love quickly, spend too much money, make too many compromises, and then watch things fall apart for reasons that were beyond my control. I always thought that the open relationship lifestyle (if you want to call it that) was more natural and more honest than the sort of till-death-do-us-part mentality I had. I haven’t meet many people who are living this way, what can you tell me about it? How do you handle being married and seeing other people? Why be married at all? My answer to him was: You might want to

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