8 Fuckin Years
Last week, the 15th, was technically my blog anniversary but I felt that bitching about Lelo and Charlie Sheen took some priority. I started out this calendar year doing things different. I tried to...
Lelo Doesn’t Care
If you thought I disliked Lelo before, wait until you read about this blood-boiling new turn of events. Today’s post covers a lot – insider information from an industry person about how little Lelo gives a crap, some random thoughts on the shadiness of this Hex condom that can break without you easily seeing that it broke (yes, seriously), and some random thoughts about them partnering with Charlie Sheen, an abuser. If that’s all not enough, they want us to believe they still are/support feminist endeavors all while emblazoning their new condom with the word “Respect” at the base Respect who? Apparently, “respect the man who wears it”. I’M. SO. DONE.
Good Clean Love Almost Naked
I’ve never been one to really review lubes, but ever since The Great Lubecation of 2015 sprouted my Big Lube Guide and a sparked activism for non-irritating body-safe lubes, I’ve begun collecting some of the better brands to find some water-based lubes to love. My previous favorites have been coconut oil and hybrid lubes, specifically Sliquid Silk, for their longevity and ability to still place nice with all of my toys. But water-based lubes deserve love, too, and Good Clean Love Almost Naked gets my love.
Review Round-up: 4 Affordable Sex Toys to Maybe Avoid
In my never-ending quest to locate affordable toys made from body-safe materials that aren’t terrible I often end up finding a lot of crap. The following four affordable toys aren’t worthy of a full review but each one has some issues. I really only hate one of these items. The others are just okay, with some flaws in marketing (do these companies understand the vacuum capabilities of the butt??) and odd designs. Read on to hear how I feel about a Closet Collections item, a Cloud 9 Plug, a CalExotics Packer Gear item and the Sinclair Institute Onyx Wand.
Is Your Glass Sex Toy Truly Safe?
Everybody and their brother claims to be creating/selling high quality glass sex toys; they may tout brand names like Pyrex or toss out the term “borosilicate” as if those words automatically mean quality anymore. When we know how shady many sex toy companies can be and how they can say whatever they want about their product without the need for truth in advertising, people naturally get skeptical regarding the true safety of glass sex toys. I’m always trying to find new ways of testing sex toys at home for quality, material, and relative safety. Since one of the few things I could do is burning to see if it’s silicone or not, I never thought I’d be able to test a glass sex toy at home until Crystal Delights talked about using a polariscope on some glass pieces which shows stress in glass. I figured out how to run the test at home, cheaply, and then proceeded to spend more than a few dollars buying various brands to test. I tested them all for glass quality and lead content – I have no way of testing for Cadmium or other harmful heavy metals, though. I have always received questions about the relative safety of inexpensive glass sex toys and I can finally give you some more in-depth answers. I suspect we won’t stop with this post; I’ve already talked to Crystal Delights years ago and I plan to present you with a more in-depth chat with the people behind Fucking Sculptures, soon.
The Jar of Melted Sex Toys – Where Are They Now?
To really see the bigger picture with my infamous Jar of Melted Sex Toys (aka Jar of Horrors) it helps to see the progression of the jar all at once. This month marks 3 years since I first decided to toss some manky sex toy bits into a glass jar and begin my Smitten-Kitten inspired experiment. Over these three years the jar has changed a lot and if you take a step back from the initial “ew, so gross” perspective it’s actually really neat and educational.
JimmyJane Intro Line
You know how I feel about JimmyJane so you’re wondering right now why on earth I’m reviewing part of the new “Live Sexy” Intro line, yes? Well it was suggested by a trusted friend that I check them out, especially because of the price point – which has always been a sticking point with me when it comes to JimmyJane. I just don’t feel that the Form line is worth their price tag. So when JJ came out with these new Intro vibrators I felt that I just had to give them a chance. At $39 for the most expensive version – a battery-powered Form 2 (which they’ve so originally called the Intro 2) – the line is affordable. But so many vibrators right at (or under) the $35 mark can have lackluster vibrations or flaws I can’t overlook. With a clean slate – past grievances momentarily forgotten – I ripped the JimmyJane Intro 4 and Intro 6 from their packages and hastily turned them on.
Foria Relief or Why Cannabis Made my Uterus Happy
Foria became known to the sex toy world when they created a THC-enhanced lube that has gotten a range of reactions; but I’m not talking about any of that today. I’m talking about Foria’s latest product which is sadly not available to most of the US – the Foria Relief vaginal suppositories. Yeah, I know, this isn’t my usual topic but it still involves Lilly being a geek, doing experiments.
Not long after Foria released Relief my Twitter timeline was buzzing with reactions and opinions – from “Cool” (mixed with damn, I wish I could have this) to some really infuriating, uneducated judgment and misconceptions. I expected better from the people I follow because they’re mostly pretty open-minded folks. No, you’re not “shoving weed up your vagina”, you’re not going to get high and yes, it’s perfectly fucking healthy. Let me assure you that using any Foria product or any topical THC item (or really any form of cannabis that isn’t burning the flower to ashes) is a whole lot healthier than drinking alcohol – which is quite easily socially accepted. It is certainly healthier than taking prescription or OTC pain relievers.
Ask Lilly: How Can I Remove Butt Odors From My Silicone Sex Toys?
When you’re dealing with butt play and sex toys, shit happens. Silicone sex toys can still hold on to odors and even a bit of staining from extended anal use. Here I’ve gathered the best tips and tricks for de-stinking your butt plugs! All options are things you can do at home with products you probably already have in your house – baking soda, bleach, coconut oil, mild soap and even your oven!
Jopen Lust L2.5 Review
I picked up the Jopen Lust L2.5 during a big Black Friday sale because I’d heard a few other reviewers rave about it (or the nearly-identical Lust L2). You’re getting a good deal for $49; powerful, rechargeable, waterproof. While it isn’t as useful as the Tango because the Tango can replace similarly shaped bullet vibes that insert into dildos, some people just want a powerful clitoral vibe that isn’t quite as pricey as the Tango at $79. So with hopes very high and expecting awesome things with no drawbacks, I got the Jopen Lust L2.5, finally.
Historically I’ve not had great luck with Jopen toys and Jopen warranty service; at least 4 Jopens I’ve received for review had to be sent back (at my dime, usually, unless SheVibe stepped in) for warranty replacement before I could even write my review. More than one Jopen vibe gets unusually warm during use which isn’t listed as a “feature” so I assume it’s not supposed to happen (and was told that with their early Envy line that it wasn’t a feature). Thankfully for me so far the Lust L2.5 has held up but just like I warn about Lelo’s customer service, I want to be transparent about Jopen issues.
Should You Really Cover Your Sex Toy with a Condom?
For as long as I’ve known about porous and toxic sex toys I’ve heard the old “cover it with a condom and you’re fine” mantra (myth?). It’s an oft-used phrase to make buying a toxic or porous toy seem more “safe” than it is and I am starting to get really cranky about how easily this is bandied about. I can understand how someone came up with this idea – a condom is a great barrier against STI’s and pregnancy, so shouldn’t it work in this situation? Well, that depends on a number of factors, like the situation and the condom material. It’s true, not all condoms are created equal for these purposes – and bad news: the condoms that are right for these situations are probably not the condoms you already have in your drawer. So if you’re going to use, or recommend to others the use of, a condom on a sex toy please make sure that it’s the right condom otherwise you’ll end up with sad toys or mad genitals. At the end of the day I’d really like to see this band-aid “solution” recommended a lot less, but I think that most educators and reviewers say it as a last-ditch attempt to keep others safe; those who insist on using porous sex toys. We want you to be safe and would rather you avoid porous insertable sex toys (Porous penetratable sex toys are kinda unavoidable for the most part and there are definitely non-toxic brands that I recommend, but ya gotta keep a really close eye on these materials for sour smells and black spots) but we know that some of you are going to use these materials anyway.
Blush Nude Impressions – Silicone Suction Cup Vibrator
I got pretty excited when SheVibe first mentioned the Blush Nude Impressions line to me – they’re something we don’t see much of right now. They’re rechargeable vibrators with a suction cup base, crafted from dust-repellent silky-smooth silicone AND I was told the vibrations don’t suck! AND they’re affordable! I was a little wary of the button placement and odd designs but still held hopes that I would like them. I wanted to like them; primarily because this category is slim pickins – you either have battery-powered options from Pipedream (definitely would rather not support them) that have a wired remote handpack or you have other options that are highly realistic and made from dodgy, porous materials. Between the concept and the bizarre designs, at least we can say Blush isn’t copying anyone out there on this line!
So while I will try my best to steer people towards other brands whenever possible due to Blush’s copycat designs and poor social media attitude, this is one time I’m not going to. If the idea of a multi-purpose vibrator with a suction cup base appeals to you, you need one of these.
Boom Olive Rechargeable Vibrator
Can I interest you in a short, weaker version of the Lelo Mona? Mona-Lite! Wait, no. That doesn’t sell it. Hmmm. Would you like to own a vibrator that speaks to your love of posh-looking car interiors with their pale no-kids-allowed leather seats and faux (or maybe not) wood accents? That’s a thing, right? There’s folks out there that perked up at that? Yes! We’re gonna go with that!! Boom Olive, and the rest of the Boom line, appealed to my “gotta own something that looks unique” side. Sadly some of the Boom models have barely any wood trim – just the button. These aren’t as fun to look at.
The Sex Blogger’s Curse: Low Libido
Buy a house. Get sick. Have untreated depression. Have a partner who is on mood stabilizers and is getting a tune-up on such. Have undiagnosed injuries. Compound with typical depression/anxiety issues of self-care and personal hygiene and you’ve got low libido + no sex. Unfortunately for me having orgasms and masturbating is a bit necessary! So this is a little story about what happens when a sex blogger’s libido takes a dive. And a post in solidarity for everyone else going through something similar.
Womanizer Deluxe Review
I spent months wringing my hands over the Womanizer W100 (the original); I loved it, but it was ugly with a horrible name1 and I couldn’t figure out *why* I loved it. Just going...
