Mar 202016
 

Blush Nude Impressions 01 - The "Swiss Army Knife" of Sex ToysI got pretty excited when SheVibe first mentioned the Blush Nude Impressions line to me – they’re something we don’t see much of right now. They’re rechargeable vibrators with a suction cup base, crafted from dust-repellent silky-smooth silicone AND I was told the vibrations don’t suck! AND they’re affordable! I was a little wary of the button placement and odd designs but still held hopes that I would like them. I wanted to like them; primarily because this category is slim pickins – you either have battery-powered options from Pipedream (definitely would rather not support them) that have a wired remote handpack or you have other options that are highly realistic and made from dodgy, porous materials.

Blush Nude Impressions – The Good

When I said multi-purpose, I meant it. This thing is Ridiculous. My Blush Nude Impressions 01 can be an external vibe if you’re in a pinch; a g-spot vibe; a dildo; a prostate vibe; a suction-cup ride-able sex toy; a harness-compatible vibrator; a bath-time vibrator. It’s body-safe and affordable with a good motor. It’s like the Swiss Army Knife of sex toys.

The vibrations have a kick. Have I felt better? Of course. It’s no Prism V, it’s no Rave. But I wouldn’t call the vibrations surface-buzzy, either. They have some reach and I’d put this firmly in the “middle of the road” camp both in terms of strength and buzz vs rumble. It’s going to be enough to satisfy many people. Oddly enough I was able to orgasm from this, when used externally. I think it’s partly because of the weird fin on each side, which meant I was able to target the more sensitive side of my clitoris. I’m not saying it was a great orgasm; but it happened. It wasn’t a strong orgasm, but the fact that I was able to come from the vibrations puts it ahead of plenty of other vibrators. Yes, the motor suffers vibration dampening when the toy is inserted, but it actually just manages to tone down the buzziness. I can still feel the vibrations, and it’s stronger than some other insertables. The vibrations are firmly concentrated to the head; I can barely feel anything as you get closer to the buttons. Yes there are patterns, and there are 5 levels of vibration intensity.

Rechargeable! That’s pretty rare for this type of beast. So rechargeable is a very nice bonus. There’s a slight issue with charging, which I’ll talk about it a minute.

The buttons – at first I thought they were in a bad place for use, but I can’t see where else they could go. They’ll become a cleaning issue because of the indented design, and you’ll want to take special care of them if you’re using anally, or sharing. They’re easy to press, though they do glow brightly in use (and strobe annoyingly while charging). One button is to turn the power on but it doesn’t start the motor – it’s a two-key process. You have to press the power button and then press the function button to cycle through the intensity and pattern settings, and then press the power button to turn off. This can act as a sort of travel lock since it’s less likely that the buttons could be depressed while in your bag in the correct order.

The suction cup is strong because the suction base has quite a bit of flex and give. I can attach this thing to my work desk and gyrate it around like an arcade joystick; it stays put.  It will still be harness-compatible, and anal safe though! A really nice harness-compatible vibrator. Think about that. That’s uncommon!!

The silicone itself has no drag and feels very silky (which means it attracts no fur or dust) but overall the design is firm to a squeeze. There is some bend to the shaft, though, I suspect because the motor is under the silicone skin for the top half and then the bottom half doesn’t have as much hardware inside, allowing the toy to bend a bit. Those who don’t like the rigidity of type silicone-covered vibes might find this to be a little more comfortable.

It’s waterproof, so it’s a great bath and shower toy. And shockingly, there’s a 5-year warranty. I’ve never dealt with Blush Novelties for warranty issues so I don’t know how they are to deal with – i.e. if they give you problems or ignore you completely. But a 5-year warranty is pretty nice for a $50 sex toys.

The Not Great

My first one was DOA…I think. When my second one arrived and charging still didn’t work, I consulted the interwebs and was told that you can’t insert the charging plug the whole way. Which is weird, and surely a flaw in design but the only way you’ll know it’s actually charging is when the power button’s light flashes wildly. If you first plug it in and the light is steady, then it’s not charging. But it’s receiving power, so that’s odd. Both of mine arrived without a charge in them, so it was hard to know if they were okay until I figured out how to charge the thing. Insert the plug fully and then slowly pull it out slightly until you see the power button blinking like it belongs in a rave.

The charge doesn’t really seem to last very long. Blush says “up to” 40 minutes which means only if you’re on the lowest setting. I ran a charge down just by randomly picking it up and turning it on for a couple of minutes here and there over the weeks I owned it, for comparisons. I admit I lost track of how long it took to charge from dead to complete; over an hour, definitely. Probably longer. At least the charging cable is USB, so it’s travel-friendly – you’ll  definitely need to take the cable with you.

While the designs are all butt-safe, they’re also all a little on the short side – nothing is over 6″ insertable. That’s not incredibly short but for some people it’s less than ideal. The vagina is a cul-de-sac so there’s a limit to how much length you’ll really need but the butt is like a dark country road – how far you go depends on you. Just like the g-spot, some people have a prostate that’s located a little bit farther inside, so the shortest model (the 02) may be just a bit shy of ideal at 4.5″ insertable.

Weird As Hell Designs

I have Blush Nude Impressions 01, which has a pronounced head – angled, yet flat which gently tapers to the shaft, and the shaft isn’t round, it’s more oval. And then there are these odd “fins” on each side. They don’t look like much, but you can really feel them pinging your g-spot if you twist the toy while it’s inserted. It’s actually pretty interesting, but not something everyone will like. I’m the queen of “off label uses” with sex toys and I found that the fin on the side allowed me to use this as an external vibe – the fin nestled against the side of my clit, right where I need stimulation.

Blush Nude Impressions 02 is pretty short on insertable length (4.5″) but has these ridges that remind me of what happens to blacktop when a tractor trailer brakes really hard on a hot day. Those who know that their g-spot or prostate really digs ridges will like this one.

Blush Nude Impressions 03 seems longer, it’s 8″ overall, but the subtle “balls” prevent you from getting that much insertable length. This version would be great for anal-play afficianados because the balls prevent you from inserting the buttons, making cleaning just slightly easier. SheVibe takes its measurements from Blush, listing the Nude Impressions 03 at 1.9″ wide right now, but other sites list it as 1.6″ wide. Then there’s the customer review, saying that the head is actually closer to 2.5″, so I don’t know what to think.

Blush Nude Impressions 04 is….it reminds me of a jewelry holder, the kind meant to hold bracelets, or maybe rings and someone put a beaded ring on it. This design is the weirdest and I’m not sure who would love it. I’m also not really a fan of yellow, but I know plenty of people who are.

Blush Nude Impressions 01 - side view of the "fin"

Overall, I approve of these. There’s currently nothing this nice on the market, at this $50 price point. $50 for something that does so much is a really great price.

 

SheVibe sent me this affordable sex toy at no charge in exchange for my honest review. You can get this model or any of the Nude Impressions line at SheVibe and rest assured that a DOA vibe won’t be a big deal with their amazing customer service.

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 Posted by at 4:40 pm
Dec 132015
 

Doxy-SkittleWe’re so accustomed to being told what/who a sex toy is for that when a company makes an oddly-shaped vibrator for any gender….sometimes we kinda hold it in our hands and go “Okay, yeah, but….how do I USE this thing?”. With the Doxy Skittle there’s really no one right or wrong way and for that reason it may not be everyone’s cup of tea. In fact, there are a few factors that may make this a “no” for quite a number of people. But if you, like me, have a deep love affair with strong, rumbling, earth-shaking vibrations? Well, let me tell you about the Doxy Skittle.

Ok, But…How Do You Use It??

At first glance you’d think “oh, it’s a dual stimulator1” and yeah but nah (not for me). The only part that really vibrates is the pin. The external nub gets a fraction of the vibrations, a small fraction, and so it really serves more as a flare to allow you to use this toy anally if you wish.  The problem, for me, with using it internally is that the pin is fairly short (2.5″ long, 1.25″ wide). My g-spot is very shallow but this didn’t reach it. It DID provide EXCELLENT vibrations to my internal clitoris and it sang from across the alley to my g-spot but this wasn’t how I would fall for the Skittle.

I love using it externally. The problem is that it’s kinda big and kinda bulky and kinda weird; I don’t expect something that isn’t a wand to be tethered to the wall. I can’t really use the Doxy Skittle very well in my preferred position – sitting in my desk chair. The Skittle works best for me if I’m laying down and I bring my feet and knees closer to my body so that my thighs can be the support bridge for the Skittle. This keeps it in place nicely so that I don’t have to hold it 2. If I were thin and limber this position would allow me to reach behind my thighs to do dildo action…but I’m not. I kinda think that a dildo and the Skittle could actually work out well in a Liberator Pulse, but I can’t say for sure.  Maybe you’d just need a different Liberator Shape to hold the dildo for you. Yes, it seems like more work than some are willing to go through just to use a vibrator but for me, these vibrations are worth it. And I am sure there are other ways to hold it that would leave room for dildo’ing, but not for me. I have to position it this way, and I love to use it despite it’s oddities and limitations because hey, it feels good.  And yes, you’re seeing correctly, the control buttons are not on the vibrator itself. It’s a handpack, which transports me back to 2009. This handpack control thing might be a deal breaker for some because depending on how you use it you may need a hand for the Skittle, a hand for the controller and a hand for the….wait, no, you’re out of hands. We’re back to having something else hold the dildo for you, if that’s an ingredient you’re adding to the recipe. But for me, for the way I prefer to use the Skittle, this remote handpack deal works pretty damn well since I’m not holding the Skittle itself.

Oh, The Vibrations…

Doxy Skittle has the type of vibrations I love. I mean, I pretty much swooned over them in my video.

Are they the strongest on the planet? No – but they’re pretty strong. Are they strong enough for me? Yes. For me this is one of few vibrators (the Tango is another) that I use on lower speeds at first just because I don’t want to come too soon and I want to enjoy the feeling of the vibrations for longer. Like eating your dessert ever so slowly to stretch out the pleasure of the exquisite taste3, I need to stretch out the sensations of the Doxy Skittle.  It took me awhile to try and compare the vibrations of the Skittle to something else because they’re really not like most other vibrators. And on high it’s a LOT like using the spot attachment on the Wahl, but more gentle (because the Skittle is silicone and the Wahl attachments are….I don’t even know…hard something). It can be really intense directly on your clitoris, but also really nice laid out lengthwise between the labia. The shape isn’t perfect for a penis, in our opinion there are better options for a vibrator for the penis, but this could be awesome for someone with a smaller penis or larger clitoris. I still think that something like the Pulse for average-to-above-average penises is better than the Skittle, or even a wand like Mystic Wand.

The Mystic Wand on high is about the same power level as the Doxy Skittle on medium, but the Doxy Skittle is a lot more rumbling, by far. As I said the sensations are best compared to the Wahl on high which is more like jackhammering than vibrating. I would actually say that the Doxy Skittle on high seems to be just about as powerful as the Doxy Die Cast on high but again…it’s more concentrated with the Skittle and way more thuddy/rumbly. The Die Cast (and therefore Magic Wand and Regular Doxy) might seem more intense because of the surface area, since their heads are so broad. I tried to compare the Doxy Skittle to the Tango and I couldn’t really compare it. Like, my beloved Tango suddenly feels …. weak, almost4. Yet still for me the Tango is preferable. It’s the Mama Bear to my Goldielocks. It’s neither too weak nor too powerful. 99% of the time I do not have any trouble coming within minutes with the Tango if I want. I would say my success rate of “minutes” with the Doxy Skittle is more like 85% and I suspect that it’s simply because I really do need the pinpoint accuracy of the Tango to hone in on that tiny little spot on the right side of my tiny little clitoral shaft.  How does it compare to the L’amourose Rosa? Well, I really dig Rosa Rouge’s heating aspect for external play so it gets a leg up there, even though the Skittle is way more thuddy/rumbly and feels stronger. And I find that Rosa is easier for me to hold vs the Doxy Skittle. Doxy Skittle will rattle your damn bones if you tried to grip it at the base; which is why I try to find ways to use it where I don’t have to hold it.  My Lelo Smart Wand Large holds a special place because it is so much more rumbly than any other wand vibrator and I’d found that when I combined it with an attachment like the Vixen Gee Whizzard it concentrated the rumbly vibrations and made it lovely for internal OR external play. It reminds me of the Doxy Skittle in that way. I didn’t put the attachment on for the video, and I probably should have. Although, yes, the Skittle is more thuddy. What about a smaller “wand” like the Palm Power? Skittle wins. I hate that Palm Power, though.

I didn’t use this anally, and we won’t be trying that out here. I had my husband look it over and tell me if he thought that this would reach his prostate and he doesn’t think it will. But for someone with or without a prostate who really enjoys vibrations in the first few inches of their rectum (which is where so many nerve endings are), this would be amazing.

All in all, I think the Doxy Skittle a fucking wonderful vibrator with sensations you don’t often find. The price is really great (I consider anything under $100 to be great these days because we can’t have the moon). The Doxy Customer Service is awesome. It’s not perfect, it’s not going to be the vibrator for everyone, but it’s a worthy contender. The Skittle might end up being one of those vibrators where everyone you know who owns it and uses it, uses it differently.

 

Thanks to SheVibe for sending me this! You can get it from them for $89.99, free US shipping!

  1. And SheVibe even has it in the dual stim category
  2. but it does preclude any dildo action – this would be one of those times where a lovely, full vaginal plug would work best to provide pressure via fullness to my g-spot without the need for any manipulation by me. In short, the lazy masturbation set-up
  3. Because you’re on a fecking diet and sadly can no longer eat half the cake of 6 cupcakes
  4. Ok no, not really but it’s being eclipsed in power!
Dec 022015
 

CuRious-WandWhile I love all that Njoy does, they haven’t done anything new in years so I’m always open to exploring other quality metal sex toys. A few months ago at SHE NYC I had the chance to talk to the guys of CU in Bed, who make copper alloy sex toys like the CuRious Wand. Why copper? We’ll get to that in a minute. But it’s part of the reason why I’m so torn on recommending it – it’s a trifecta of issues, really: Odor, design and price.  I cannot help but compare it to the Pure Wand, so you’re going to see a lot of heavy comparison going on.

A Handful of Pennies

I’ve found that quality grades of stainless steel don’t have a metallic odor; I own stainless steel sex toys, silverware and a wedding band. None have ever made my hands (or anywhere else) smell of metal. But the CuRious Wand … it has a distinct odor of pennies, without the pretty copper color1. I’m not sure how I didn’t notice this aspect when I was at SHE NYC because I fondled their prototype a LOT. But, the prototype I was fondling also had a mild copper color to it–I don’t know if this made a difference. I don’t see how it could. I was pretty surprised when they sent me one to review for Shevibe and the metal odor hit me pretty strong. Brief fondling left my hands reeking like I’d been holding a handful of wet coins. The odor on my hands doesn’t seem to last very long if I rub my hands on something fabric.

If that sort of smell doesn’t bother you then one of my biggest issues with the dildo will not be a problem for you. We had a collective conversation about this on Twitter, then I did a little poll and it seems that I’m in the majority. But let’s get to the question many vagina-owners had – does it make your vagina, your natural fluids, smell/taste like metal? Yes. I had the CuRious Wand in one hand, leaving the other untainted by copper odors, and used it for a few minutes. The fingers untainted by metal odors that then had my fluids on them smelled different. Very different. Almost like there was a bit of blood in my fluids (which is odd, right? Isn’t the iron in blood what leads to that smell/taste?). When I smelled the combination of my fluids ON the CuRious Wand I actually found the odor really offensive. Like I wouldn’t want to be the person using this on someone else with a vagina because the smell bothered me a lot. Maybe it won’t react with your vaginal fluids like that, maybe it will. I also wasn’t using lube — I personally do not need lube with slick toys like metal and glass and adding lube would just make me too wet. Would a covering of silicone lube or coconut oil help hinder the odor? I tried and found that it did, minimally, but I only used it that way for half a minute. I’m not sure what would happen if that were my entire session. I think that for SOLO USE this might not bother everyone. For coupled use it could be more of a problem. If I simply wash my hands right after I’m done using the CuRious Wand then it’s not going to bother me as much.

A Boring Design

So even though the design is similar (double-ended, curved) yet different (the shapes of the ends, the length) I cannot help but compare the CuRious Wand to the Pure Wand. After all, the Pure Wand IS my favorite dildo of all times. It’s perfect for me. And herein lies the biggest reason why I’m reluctant to recommend it: The CuRious Wand was boring for me. I must have switched back and forth from Pure Wand to CuRious Wand a dozen times and the difference in perceived intensity to my g-spot was obvious. The CuRious Wand was like a 4…5 at best while the Pure Wand was an 8-10.

My vagina was bored. My g-spot wouldn’t wake up. And occasionally it would stroke the vaginal wall that’s shared with the rectum, opposite the g-spot, in a way I found uncomfortable. Also, the CuRious Wand is shorter than the Pure Wand. For ME this matters a lot. The length and curve of the Pure Wand is one of the top reasons it works so well for me. It’s easier to manipulate, easier to reach. And while the CuRious Wand and Pure Wand are pretty close in weight2, the Pure Wand’s weight seems to factor in to one reason it’s working well for me. Another factor: The Pure Wand’s bulb has a definite edge to it. The CuRious Wand does not, really, not in use. That edge on the bulb of the Pure Wand is a big factor in the magic it makes for me. The CuRious Wand just slid around, not really doing anything for my g-spot.  If you hate things with an edge that catch your pubic bone (and if you loved the Lelo Ella) then you might prefer this design. Size-wise, the ends seem to be fairly similar, although differences exist just because of the design. The triangular design of the head means that it’s not 1.5″ wide truly, like the Pure Wand is (and even at the widest, CuRious is still just shy of 1.5″).  The prostate end is very tapered, unlike the distinct ball of the Pure Wand. The curve overall seems to be less pronounced although I don’t possess a maths degree or protractor to figure it out for sure. I’m also unsure about the anal safety of that teeny little flare that happens in the middle. Would the hammerhead style of the bigger end serve as a stopper? What if you preferred the bigger end for your anal play? I can’t say I’d feel comfy calling it anal safe that way.

CuRious-Wand-vs-Pure-Wand

Why Copper? Or: Lilly Bumbles Through the Science

Let’s talk about the metal, why it’s so expensive, and why this is supposed to matter. According to the research they found that copper can kill E. Coli and other bacteria just through contact, whereas other materials could not. This matters if you use it anally (and one end is supposed to be the prostate end). I can’t see why this would matter for vaginal use. The creator has said that it will not kill the good bacteria in the vagina because 1: it only works during contact, not afterwards and 2: if you cover the dildo with lube then there’s no contact at all with the mucus membrane and therefore no bacteria-killing going on. Update: Only DRY copper kills bacteria so if it’s in use, then it’s not going to be killing anything at all. It’s only when the dry item is sitting there after being cleaned3. They cited a lot of stuff to me in an email about how copper IUDs are used all the time in the uterus, and most people don’t react badly to it. I’ve read anecdotal reports online where some people think that their copper IUD caused yeast infection. I couldn’t find evidence to support it or even disprove it. Then again, the copper of the IUD is pure and meant to be “free floating ions” while the CuRious Wand is just a copper alloy. Of course, if you think you have an allergy to copper, don’t buy their products.

Anyway, so, the lube inhibits the bacteria-killing aspect, as does simply having a lot of natural vaginal fluid, according to what they’ve said on Twitter. Seems to me that where we really need the bacteria-killing aspect is for anal play, but anal play requires lube so……? Update: Only DRY copper kills bacteria so if it’s in use, then it’s not going to be killing anything at all. It’s only when the dry item is sitting there after being cleaned.

The magic is supposed to happen after you’ve washed it. Anything that might still be on the Wand will get killed off by the copper. When I tried to talk to the creators about cleaning methods that would, you know, sanitize (isopropyl alcohol, 10% bleach solution soak, boiling) the argument is that you can miss a spot. If there were grooves, ridges and crevices, sure. But on a single-piece tooled, polished metal Wand? Even a plug? I don’t see the need, personally.  This is the part where, regardless of the fact that the design didn’t make my g-spot happy and the metal smell bothers me greatly, I should be feeling that there is an exigent NEED for this product in copper and I’m not convinced yet.

Their videos page uses the tagline “At least you know it’s clean” a lot. Whether it’s someone else picking up your dildo and kissing it4 or a baby playing with it5, the insinuation is the unlike any other sex toy material, “at least you know it’s clean”. Their FAQ page challenges the “body-safe” terminology by saying that “body-safe” merely means it doesn’t leach toxic chemicals. Maybe to come people it does, but not to me. To me, body-safe = non-porous or microporous.

Until the introduction of our antimicrobial copper alloy massagers, “Body safe” had nothing to do with antimicrobial. Currently, all available materials, except our unique copper alloy, will allow bacteria to live and grow on its surface for weeks… E. Coli can survive as long as 16 MONTHS (yes, MONTHS) on standard surfaces such as Stainless Steel and Silicon!

The “silicon” typo is theirs, not mine. Listen, I have never had any doubts about the cleanliness or safety of any silicone, stainless steel, glass, or (properly coated) wood sex toys I use or recommend. Not unless they have deep seams or an abundance of hard-to-clean ridges. I feel that a proper sanitizing clean in between uses of those materials could allow someone to safely use the same toy for vaginal and anal use. CU in Bed disagrees with me. Only their CuRious Wand will provide that safety and cleanliness. Their website copy insists that no other sex toy on the market is as safe as theirs. I can’t get behind such limitations. It really feels like it’s going too far to induce fear about every other single sex toy material out there. After reading over their website, plus the papers I picked up when I spoke to them at SHE, I feel like a key convincing “WHY” is really missing. They quite likely covered it when we were talking at SHE but first of all that was in September, second I was in a fuck ton of pain by that point, third my memory is shit. Anything and everything they would have told me at SHE that could have convinced me of its need to be on the market should be abundantly clear on their website. This dildo at Shevibe is $229. I won’t recommend anything that costs that much unless I love it. Unless I feel that it is so unique that it fills a void. Unless there is substantial evidence, enough to convince a jury of sex bloggers, that the copper aspect is invaluable.

My CuRious Wand came with a small drawstring pouch embedded with copper that will help kill bacteria (but only when the fabric is touching the surface of the toy). I actually think that the bag is worth buying, moreso than the dildo. If you just put your sex toy in the bag and rub it around and store it that way then you could have the benefits of the copper without the expensive dildo. I actually hope that Shevibe continues to carry the bags.

One last bit on the science part – I’ve included a copy of this sheet they included with the informational data I got at SHE (front and back). They are saying on this that even products with Triclosan (that’s the green line on the graph) or Silver (Ag – you’ve seen this in Tenga 3D sleeves) cannot legally claim to be antimicrobial, but copper can.  I’d like to see what Tenga says about this, actually.

Tl;dr – I’m just gonna tell you to buy the Pure Wand at this point.

I’m going to invite the creators to respond to any questions you all may have, or things you want clarified. I just ask that you be respectful and civil, please, with your discussions. I’d like to thank CU In Bed for sending this to me, because I was very curious about it. You can get it at Shevibe if you feel that my issues would not be issues for you. I would also like to hear your thoughts on the copper aspect, especially if you disagree with me on its necessity. 

curious-wand-2

  1. Could I overlook it if the Wand were a pretty copper color? Honestly there’s a chance I could. A chance
  2. The Pure Wand is actually heavier by only 2 ounces
  3. Thanks to Fuga Periculum for finding this
  4. First comes the WTF factor then the overtone of a lil shame that is bugging me
  5. again, what? that fucker is heavy!
Oct 052015
 

Ooh by Je Joue Line Fall 2015Lately I’ve been having a real thing for truly affordable, decent sex toys so I was perhaps a little too excited for the Ooh by Je Joue line to come out. As soon as I heard about it I ran right to Shevibe and asked them if they planned on carrying it, can I review it if they do, etc. I’ve loved every Je Joue vibrator I’ve had my hands on so I had really high hopes for this hot-swap-style sex toy geekery. It’s not quite the first time this concept has been done, but this is unique in that we know the line is going to expand greatly – I already know there will be a smaller motor, a smaller cock ring, a butt plug, a flexible dual-stim, a smaller Pebble, a Rabbit and a g-spotter. The “mix and match” or “modular” concept is great – spend a little now, and a little along the way, and soon you’ll have a small collection of items for less than you’d pay for them singularly.  The Large Motor I have is listed as compatible with pieces 1,2,3,4,5 and 9 – and we only have access to 1, 2, and 3 right now. More will be revealed in January 2016, with a few more coming in Spring 2016**  pictures of the full line viewable at the very end of this review.

I love the idea, as you can tell. Ooh by Je Joue be great if the execution didn’t fail. Trust, I’m super sad that I can’t recommend the entire line as it is right now. I wanted to love this. But I also kind of expected it to be even lower-priced than it is. I wanted the Large Motor to be closer to $30 than $50. I basically hoped for every component to go no higher than $40, with most at $301. Am I delusional? Apparently. But that’s a story for another day.

You can start off with just the Large Motor and the Pebble, or buy “kits” although these don’t save you a whole lot, just a few bucks. What Happens in Vegas is the cock ring and classic insertable; Her Name is Rio is the classic insertable plus Pebble; and London Love-in is the Pebble and cock ring. Happily they offer cool colors like mint green and bright yellow in addition to the standard pink and blue. The packaging is super cute, made to look like little coffee bags or chocolate bags. Which you would think makes the packaging easy to open, but it’s not – scissors are required and it makes me sad. I expected the bags to be as easy to open as a bag of Lindor Truffles. The shapes are pretty easy to put together and disassemble. It doesn’t require much strength to press on the necessary part of the shape to eject the motor. The silicone is satiny-smooth, much like that of the regular Je Joue items – it’s just barely noticeable that it’s a little less silky.

One point of quality that does concern me slightly is that the silicone skin seems haphazardly glued to the plastic base on the shapes. The glue is sometimes so sparsely placed and so wimpy that if you’re not super careful when washing a shape if it’s not clicked in to the motor you probably would get water trapped down in between the plastic housing and the shape. The silicone on my Cock Ring easily separated from the plastic housing, while the Pebble seemed to be glued very well and I couldn’t even separate them. The Classic had even less glue than the Cock Ring. I pulled the silicone skin down off the plastic housing on the Cock Ring so that I could show you the metal clips responsible for keeping the motor clicked in – but it also shows me that the plastic housing the motor slides snugly in to is also responsible for vibration dampening.

Ooh by Je Joue Large Motor

I can’t wait to see the small, because the Large Motor is pretty small overall. The vibrations of the motor alone, no attachment, are shockingly deep and powerful on high. There are two mediocre patterns. But the odd thing about these vibrations…they’re not smooth. The steady vibrations almost feel like a pattern. It sounds like a helicopter on the lower settings. You can feel a rapid pulsing; not enough to deter from orgasm, but it’s discernible and I’m undecided on love vs hate. This is actually the same experience as the other Je Joue motors in the Mimi and Uma but since I never use those on the two lowest settings, I never really noticed it. The Je Joue Mimi has 5 intensity settings while the Ooh Large Motor has 3. The Large Motor by itself on high is equal exactly to the Je Joue Mimi on level 4. But when paired with the Pebble or Cock Ring, high is a little less powerful now than the Mimi on level 3. I don’t actually know if you’re allowed to use the motor naked – by itself the motor is really intense. I don’t think they intended for it, but what’s the worst that could happen? The recharge port has a silicone flap over it and seems like it could be water-resistant at the least. I’m grasping at straws here, aren’t I…

Ooh Vibrating Pebble

Ooh by Je Joue Pebble vs Je Joue MimiThis is the stand-out piece; take that as you will. It ends up being a similar shape to the Je Joue Mimi with less punch. The tip is rigid-flexible, meaning I can make it move with my fingers if I try but it won’t make a bit of difference to my vulva. This is the shape the motor was truly meant to work with best. However due to the overall cost being $75, and the more powerful Je Joue Mimi being $90, I feel that you must be absolutely certain you can put the Large Motor to good use for at least one other attachment. You’ll have to decide if the Cock Ring is right for you (and then purchase the London Love-in set to save a couple dollars) because if not, I don’t think you should purchase anything from the Ooh line yet. The Pebble shape is pretty versatile and can be great for all genitals for external play. Pebble comes in hot pink or sunny yellow.

 

Ooh Cock Ring

Ooh by Je Joue Cock Ring vs Lelo Tor 2I handed the ring to my husband and he immediately proclaimed it would be too tight to comfortably be on his cock. He said he’d be able to get it on if he put it on while flaccid but then once he was fully hard he wouldn’t be able to get it off – not a good situation to be in.  I figured as much, so it didn’t even get tried out in the field. The silicone is stretchy-ish but not the most stretchy I’ve come across in silicone cock rings. It feels tighter on my fingers than even the original Lelo Tor. Also the shape ends up being comically large – probably a full inch longer than the Lelo Tor. It sticks out a little over 2 inches. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a large, protruding cock ring. The Ohh Je Joue Cock ring feels like the  Duplo of the rechargeable cock ring world. However for someone with minimal labia and an exposed clitoris I can imagine this shape would feel great for grinding against. I tried putting the ring around 3 of my fingers at the second knuckle and it cut off my circulation. There’s always the chance it might be awesome to attach to your smaller dildos for harness play. If the receiver is in to grinding on the dildo, they’ll appreciate the vibrations.  Similar to the Pebble in design, the vibrations transfer as well as they’re able to in this system. The cock ring is available in a dark cobalt blue (which they call “electric”) and a pale mint green.

Ooh Classic Vibrator

This one is such a let-down. The center is solid and the vibrations do not transmit well at all. There is barely a whisper of vibration past the handle/motor. In fact it’s so infuriatingly bad that I have to wonder “did they test this?”. There’s a review on Babeland already for the Classic Vibrator which talks about how powerful it is and I’m all “are we using the same vibrator?”. I cannot recommend this. The We-Vibe Glow does *such* a better job of transmitting the vibrations from the Tango down the shaft and into the tip. If the Ooh Classic Vibrator were a standalone product I would be ripping it to shreds for even daring to exist. It’s that bad.  The fact that the two components cost $90 is a major insult. It’s not even worth $30 for the whole thing. It’s all down to the design of the attachment and motor. Sadly, this tells me that the “coming soon” items like the g-spotter and dual-stim will also probably suck. 

Ooh by Je Joue Classic Shape GutsTaking the Classic shape apart like I did the Cock Ring shows me exactly why it’s so terrible – the motor slides into the plastic housing and the other side of the plastic housing is glued to a hard plastic rod that goes down the center of the Classic. So only the vibrations that touch the spring and screw inside of the plastic housing could possibly be transmitted. It’s a shit design. Taking the rod out of the silicone shows that it barely is vibrating at all unencumbered that way, and then they go and encase that in a half-inch thick shell of silicone and expect vibrations to somehow make it out the other side? The people under the dome had a better chance of escaping than these poor, strangled vibrations2. I’m not an engineer and even I uneducated lil old me can see that this won’t work. Yet they did it anyway and you’re going to waste your money and they’re okay with that. Honestly the more I think about the design of the insertable Classic, and the design that is clearly going to be the same in future shapes unless they do a total overhaul, the more pissed off I am.

One could say that I’m idealistic and what can one expect from something affordable but I don’t think that’s the problem. I think that, like many companies, they didn’t beta test these with knowledgeable users. Or at all. There is definitely a way, some how, to create this modular system in a way that takes better advantage of the lovely motor. I think the answer though is to shape the vibrating motor more like the Tango – the long and thin lends itself to transferring vibrations farther than a short and wide motor. But then you have a system that’s quite similar to what’s already on the market and there’s no point to that. But the way this system is built right now I can assure you that none of the insertable pieces will have very much vibration at all.

I wanted to love the Ooh by Je Joue line, I wanted to recommend this, but I’m only able to truly recommend the Ooh Pebble. I’m cautioning against getting too carried away with dreams of building a set until we see the rest of the collection. I think that the motor needs an overhaul, the silicone needs to be stretchier for the cock ring and the insertables need a total re-design to get vibrations to actually travel versus held up in the handle like a bad traffic jam.

 

Big thanks to Shevibe for getting this to me pronto and indulging my odd excitement. I was provided this set in exchange for my honest review.

** The insert in with the toys shows the shapes of the upcoming designs and I’m skeptical of everything else needing the Large Motor.
OohJeJoueFullLine1 OohJeJoueFullLine2

  1. The two smaller shapes are $25 which is a great price point, but the shameful Classic is $40
  2. I haven’t watched the most recent season because the show was so awful, so I’m left at “maybe they escaped? maybe they were eaten by the void?”
 Posted by at 9:48 am
Aug 052015
 

Pulse2soloWell, this is going to be a hard review to write. I hate phoning it in, but the bulk of the review has already been written before – the Hot Octopuss PULSE II SOLO, whose counterpart is the PULSE II DUO, was originally just one toy: the Hot Octopuss Pulse. It was meant for solo OR couple’s play and while it had some flaws and areas of improvement, it was an item my husband really enjoyed. And how you use it, how it works, has remained the same. They’ve changed the buttons and added in pulsating patterns but the gist remains the same – apply to penis, vibrate, ejaculate.

Most people out there don’t treat sex toys like the latest iPhone; they don’t purchase the upgraded version when their older version functions just fine or even just “good enough”. For those who DO purchase upgraded versions, you’re in luck: just about everything you wished they would change, they did. There’s now a dedicated on-off button on one side, and intensity controls on the other side. You now have the added option of pulsating patterns. And finally, the blessed thing is more quiet. Not “whisper quiet”, but it’s a big change. In order to make it more quiet, though, they did have to shave some intensity. My husband enjoyed the intensity of it, the deep rumbles of the vibrations, but he doesn’t feel they tamped it down too far. It’s still intense on the upper levels.  But wait, there’s more: The Hot Octopuss PULSE II is now waterproof. Before it wasn’t even splash-proof. 

Hot Octopuss decided to make two versions this time around. With the new PULSE II DUO you have the *option* of turning off the exterior vibrations, and you have a remote to help control things (which is a necessary upgrade for using it this way). With this distinction in models, it allows for one version to cost less (there’s a $40 price difference), so that’s nice. Those who only ever plan to use it solo aren’t penalized with the higher price tag for the dual motors and remote.  Reports have come in that the external motor on the PULSE II DUO is stronger than the one on the original Pulse, but is not rumbly like the interior motor and can actually overpower the interior motor for the penis because the higher-pitched motor wins out, in a bad way. I never found the design comfortable to use as a couple’s toy especially because it gives very broad stimulation and I need pinpoint.

The silicone wings still accommodate a large range of cock girths. With a lot of lube, you can use it in motion but as with the original Pulse, my husband felt that it’s best keeping it in about the same spot – that sensitive point on or near the frenulum. I think that for some people, this sweet spot location will vary slightly. The vibrating pad that gives off the most sensation is about the size of a quarter. How do you know if you’re going to like this sort of sex toy? I’d suggest first trying out a regular vibrator, one that’s very powerful. Good test subjects would be the Vibratex Mystic Wand, the We-Vibe Tango or Touch or any very powerful and rumbly vibrator that you or your partner already have on hand – if you don’t have an immediate “WOW” reaction to the level of vibration, then it’s not really strong enough to give you a good idea of how the Hot Octopuss Pulse II Solo will feel. Some people respond well to concentrated vibrations, and some don’t. Before you drop $99 – $139, you should be certain this is something you’ll enjoy.

Since I wrote my original review, I’ve heard from a number of people with erectile dysfunction who rave about this and its ability to provide pleasure and orgasm even if they can’t get a stiff erection (which would be necessary to use penetrative masturbators). I’ve even heard from a few disabled people who find the Hot Octopuss Pulse much easier to manipulate and use versus penetrative masturbators. We still feel that it’s not totally hands-free because applying a little pressure to keep the vibrator on-point is necessary but it requires less effort than many sex toys for penises. In my original review my husband loved it but felt it would be better with some upgrades – and all of those have happened. So if you were waiting around on them to make a better, updated version then you’re in luck. We don’t have anything bad to say about this sex toy!

The Hot Octopuss PULSE II SOLO comes highly recommended from us both, and can be had for $99 from the lovely Shevibe, who graciously sent me one ages ago in exchange for my honest review.

 

 Posted by at 11:10 am
Nov 172014
 

Jopen Lust L12 Prostate VibratorOur time with the Jopen Lust L12 has been a little rocky; for weeks every time I’d remind him to try it out because I had to review it, we’d turn it on and find it dead. I’d plugged it in to charge numerous times, each time turning it on and marveling at the powerful vibrations. But then he’d go to try it out a few days / a week later and it would be dead. Shevibe is very good to me and offered to send a replacement and handle the return but Jopen asked me to instead send it directly to them for analysis. I didn’t feel like paying for the shipping to Jopen and communications with Jopen took awhile, so I kept it. Now that my husband has pretty much declared it awesome, I’ll be taking advantage of the warranty and making sure he has a working version. 

Yes, the Jopen Lust L12 is a home-run. It’s waterproof; rechargeable; just flexible enough; comfortable all around; very easy to clean; provides very powerful vibrations on both sides of the L shape; and tops it all off with the ability to have pulsating patterns.  The only other review I’d read for the Lust L12 described the vibrations as average; I feel that they’re not quite as rumbly as the We-Vibe Tango, but almost and pretty close to the same intensity. If you’ve tried the Tantus vibrating plugs and felt underwhelmed by their vibration, the Lust L12 will impress you. 

However, don’t let the horribly gendered colors fool you – the Jopen  Lust L12 really is best as a prostate vibrator. Before I handed it over to my husband, I tried it out as a dual stimulation g-spot/clitoris vibe and it failed miserably for me. The inside arm wasn’t nearly thick enough and the outside arm was way, way too long. It overshot my clitoris by at least an inch. Lust L12 performs beautifully as a prostate massager and I think it should be kept in that category. 

Jopen Lust L12 Prostate VibratorSize: The insertable portion is at most, 4 inches long and 1.2″ wide. The external arm is 3 inches long. 

The first time my husband used it he was immediately and thoroughly impressed. He had the same look on his face that most people get when they’re strapped to a Magic Wand. And he hadn’t even turned the power level all the way up! He wasn’t accustomed to press-and-hold buttons so he turned it on and then went straight for the pulsating patterns. I really hate using the term “mind blowing” because it feels so cliched but I think it’s pretty apt here. After being disappointed by the design and lack of pulsating vibrations in the Jopen Ego E5 he was happy with the Lust L12’s improvements. The design is very comfortable, doesn’t need a hand holding it to keep it in the ass, and he said it could even be comfortable if you’re sitting up – just not perfect posture on a hard chair. 

The Jopen Lust L12 does seem a bit noisy when it’s in your hand; but when my husband was using it I was sitting about 6 feet away and couldn’t hear it. I can’t say I love the control buttons but when you’re limited on space, 2 small dots are all you can fit. The button closest to the handle just turns it off and on, while the button closest to the arm will run through patterns if you click it and increase in vibration if you press and hold. 

All in all…..he loves this thing. I see it getting a lot of use during foreplay and solo play. He’s already paired it with the Pulse which was met with great success. I’d suggest that you keep an eye on the battery and note how well it holds a charge when not in use, in case yours has the same problem as mine but overall for $70 it’s a pretty great show for your prostate. 

 

Thanks to SheVibe for providing us with the Jopen Lust L12 in exchange for our honest review!

 Posted by at 3:38 pm