Jan 192015
 

LeloMonaWaveThe Lelo Mona Wave takes the Mona and adds motion, meant to do the g-spot stroking for you. For me, sex toys don’t replace a human. They’re a great accompaniment. I love using them by myself and with a partner. But just as a penis or finger or tongue could never vibrate and nearly never achieve the orgasms (for me) that a good vibrator can, a sex toy can never feel like oral sex or the thrusting of a penis or the stroking, much-lauded “come-hither” motion of a finger or two. Yet sex toy companies, Lelo included, keep trying to create sex toys that seem to be aiming for replacement rather than harmony1. They are also creating sex toys that promise way more than they can deliver, in my opinion. 

Right on the box, Lelo proclaims: “The orgasm to end all orgasms2” and “The world’s first g-spot massager that rises and plunges within3 like the natural caress of a lover’s fingers”. That’s really putting the pressure on. 

PROS: Let’s start off on a good note, eh?

  • The entire thing is finally covered in silicone. There’s still a seam between the white and color, of course, but it’s not as bad as before. Plus now the buttons are covered in silicone which also makes things much easier on cleaning.
  • There’s an instant-on instant-off button. Rather than pressing the power-up button to turn on and pressing the power-down to turn off[ 1. Which honestly has led to more dead Lelos for me than any other brand, simply because the lowest vibration setting is SO low you might think it’s off when it’s not], you now simply press the center of the control panel
  • Awesome colors that are not so gender-binary focused. Black! Cobalt Blue! 
  • The Wave can be slowed down or turned off, or the vibrations can be turned off
  • Think outside the box – people whose fingers fatigue easily could consider using it clitorally for extra help

In addition to this instant-on button, Lelo Mona Wave will also remember what setting you were on when you last left off, if that appeals to you. Also, while I’ve never had a problem with ABS plastic as a material, combining it like Lelo has done for so many years can simply result in issues with cleaning, like around the crevices and cracks. I don’t feel that the lack of raised buttons makes life any harder, either. 

Lelo Mona Wave (in blue) handle and buttons vs. Lelo Mona 2. The Mona 2's buttons are clearly individual buttons, whereas the Mona Wave is markings on the silicone skin with only a fingertip-sized dimple in the center Showing the difference in the curve of the body of the Lelo Mona Wave (blue) vs Mona 2 if you turn off the motor that waggles it when it is at its most flexed.  It does give a more dramatic curve at the neck from the Mona 2.

CONS: Well, we had to get here eventually, you just didn’t think it would be so soon……

  • Vibrations are not as rumbly or as strong as Mona
  • Motion transfers – a good, pelvic-floor clench means the handle moves, not the head
  • So many patterns. It’s like IKEA, you can get lost in the patterns and you can’t even turn it off to start fresh at the beginning.
  • That noise, though. 
  • Meh.
  • That price, though.
  • Need firm pressure? Forgetaboutit. 

I was seriously bummed to find that in order to accommodate the Wave feature, they dumbed down the vibrations. They are not as rumbly as the Mona 2 and they are not as powerful. In fact, the Lelo Mona Wave’s vibrations are less than the freaking original Mona which I tested on whatever charge it had left after sitting around from the last time I had to check vibration strengths which was a few weeks ago. I even asked my husband’s opinion, so that I wasn’t unintentionally biased, and he definitely thought the “blue one” was less powerful. Doing the cheek test4, the vibrations of the original Mona seem to be more far-reaching on my face than the Mona Wave. In the video clip below, you can see how the Mona 2 (in red) simply sounds lower-pitched in the glass, and splashes some of the water out. The Mona Wave doesn’t create a splash. Literally. It’s a big let-down for me. Mona 2 was never enough for me for g-spot vibrations, not like the L’amourose Rosa Rouge is, but with a little patience it could get me off clitorally. 

 

A video posted by Lilly (@dangerouslilly) on

So let’s go back to physics class – when you’re holding it firmly by the handle and there’s nothing impeding the movement of the head, sure, the head wiggles. But as soon as there’s resistance introduced, the movement has to go somewhere, so it goes to the handle. This isn’t to say that it’s a dead fish once inserted, but there is less movement. In the video clip below you hear and see how fast the top speed of the wiggle is, and then the slower speed, and finally see how much less it moves when there’s resistance.  Yes, you can run the Mona Wave with just the arm moving and no vibrations, the arm moving slower with wave-pulsing vibrations, vibrations with no arm movement, or arm movement with a big variety of pulsating patterns. The + and – keys only control the vibration intensity. To change everything else you must cycle through with the up and down arrow keys. To get back to the default setting of high arm movements and straight vibrations, just click the hell out of the down arrow until everything seems to be back where you started from.

 

A video posted by Lilly (@dangerouslilly) on

I like a lot of pressure on my g-spot, and it’s why I adore the firmness of the Njoy Pure Wand so much. Aimless, passionless stroking is not going to impress my g-spot, I need pressure. That doesn’t really happen with the Mona Wave for me. In fact, I felt no “zing” of “yeah, that’s the spot!!” like I can even by simply inserting a girthy dildo to provide passive pressure. Yeah, I can feel the movement but it’s not earth-shattering, there’re no fireworks.  I normally (except for the Pure Wand) don’t get a ton of enjoyment out of just g-spot stimulation alone. But g-spot stim will greatly help along a clitoral/blended orgasm – making it happen faster and be much more intense. So when I tried the Mona Wave along with other toys, I didn’t get that speed-up effect nor did it make my orgasm more intense, nor did it draw out the length of the orgasm. 

So, the noise. I’ve had louder vibrators, certainly. The Magic Wand is louder. But as you can hear in the video, that movement is coupled with this odd, robotic sound. I envision those old RC toys with legs that walked, like the puppies or robots. It can be a little….off-putting, to some people. It doesn’t bother me per se but if you need a quiet vibe, this isn’t it. The high-pitched sound of the moving arm can be heard more easily than the low-pitched rumble of the Mona 2, for example. 

Forget g-spots for a minute. Can the Mona Wave work as a clitoral vibrator + massager? Meh. I’m unimpressed frankly, and that’s mostly because it’s a lack of decent vibrations. Under good circumstances the Mona 2 can get me off clitorally but the Mona Wave? Nope. And if movement + pressure is going to work for me, it needs to be directed to that certain spot on the right side of my clitoral hood. The Mona Wave is too wide to do anything pinpoint. But what about prostates? ehhhh. Is the design of the Mona considered borderline anal safe, since it does get thinner in the neck and then flares out in the handle? I guess? I don’t think the Lelo Mona Wave is going to make waves for prostates, either. Again, there’s a lot of resistance and so the movements will be dulled. 

In the end, I’m going to give the Lelo Mona Wave a pass because it is not AWESOME and I don’t even think it’s better than the Mona 2. I’d simply rather do it my own damn self. Much like the Fun Factory Stronic Drei, which moved even less, I’m clearly not the target audience for these tech-fancy moving sex toys. And with a price tag of $169 for the Lelo Mona Wave (and $189 for the Lelo Ina Wave which I suspect would fail even more for me) it’s just not enough AWESOME for the price. If it had the same level of vibrations as the Mona 2 and were priced lower I’d say why not, go for it but it’s $40 more. 

 

A big thank you to SHEVIBE for being amazing and sending me a Lelo Mona Wave to review! 

 

  1. and worse, they often try to claim they’re the first. Didn’t they claim to be ground-breaking with the Ora, when the Je Joue Sasi was the first? And there ARE rotating, g-spot-curved rabbits, but they rotate around. This just literally mimics the motion of you crooking your finger to “come here”
  2. WTF does this even MEAN??
  3. I can’t make this shit up. Rises? Plunges?
  4. Some people do the nose test, but with the more powerful vibrators it just makes me sneeze. So I open my mouth wide and touch vibrators to the hollow of my cheek and gauge how far on my face I can feel vibrations as a way to compare vibrators against each other when the power difference is less noticeable
Jan 082015
 

Crave Vesper NecklaceI’m well aware that big vibrations can come in small packages but I have been looking at the Crave Vesper with quite a bit of skepticism since their crowd-funding campaign. Vesper is thin and long and the catch is that it’s “wearable”; meant to be worn as a necklace so that you can always have your vibrator secretly with you. Oh and it’s powerful, naturally. I’d read a few reviews of other Crave products that had wimpy vibrations so you can understand my hesitation. 

Let’s Talk Power

My favorite vibrator, the We-Vibe Tango, is extremely powerful. The vibrations are rumbly and gorgeous. The low setting is also still pretty damn powerful, and I don’t tend to recommend the Tango for people who can quite easily orgasm clitorally from fingers, because it may be too powerful. To give you some comparisons, I’ve pulled out a number of bullet vibes from my collection. Lelo Mia 2 can actually get me off half of the time, on high, because the vibrations are fairly rumbly. But Mia 2 on high is equal to Tango on low. The Vesper is about equal to the Mia 2 on medium-high like…level 8 of 10? Mia 2 has a lot of power increments, but Mia 2 is a bit more rumbly than the Vesper – just a hair. Vesper is slightly more powerful than the Tantus 1-speed bullet. But of course, the Vesper is much more pinpoint than any of these. And therein lies the magic. And by magic I mean “wtf is happening, I shouldn’t be able to come from this”. Companies keep calling their vibrators "powerful" - You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Yeah. Me, the one with the clit-o-steel who has been unable to orgasm with the Form 4, Revel Body, We-vibe 4, Leaf Spirit, and most rabbit styles. Me who prefers the Tango to the Magic Wand. Well, now I know why. My clitoris, which is a righty btw, responds just fine to some pressure and localized vibrations to the magic spot there on the right side. Many vibrators can’t get to that exact location because they’re too big or the vibrations don’t travel well enough to reach that spot. My clitoris isn’t on Main Street, it’s in a gazebo on the town green surrounded by land with only one sidewalk leading to it and it can’t hear you from the road unless you’re loud . You’ve got to be able to walk right up to it or have the power to yell from the road. The Vesper can walk right up to it. The Tango stepped onto the sidewalk but it has a bullhorn, so it doesn’t need to be up close. The Rosa Rouge is fine from the road. (i think we’re done with this weird metaphor, yeah? too much?)

I’m about as shocked as you are, trust me. 

This isn’t to say, though, that it’s a powerful orgasm. It’s not. Not all orgasms are satisfying. At least the orgasms from the Vesper are not painful. And the orgasms aren’t consistent, like with the Tango. I think one factor is something I discovered before – my clitoris responds well to the right amount of added warmth. It draws in more bloodflow and makes everybody happy. Vesper, as you’ll see from the stupid sticker right on the vibrator, is meant to gently warm-up during use. I think it’s likely less intentional and more natural by-product of such a slender housing combined with the heat-retention of stainless steel. But whatevs. It’s a nice bonus. 

It’s a bullet! No, it’s a nail!

Vesper resembles a sniper bullet. Or a sleek, modern-art version of a nail (pull one over on your Christian family, perhaps?). Or a sleek, modern-art version of Joan’s necklace from Madmen (which is supposed to be a pencil? pen?). You can get away with claiming it to be any of these things, really. Plenty of people are making a knock-off of this necklace that Joan wears on Madmen, and quite a few really resemble the Crave Vesper. But there’s one thing that Joan knew, that Crave doesn’t: A 26″ chain isn’t long enough to make wearing a 3.8″ long slender pendant feasible if you have a rack like I do. Either the pendant rests on top of my shirt and sticks out at odd angles, or it falls between my boobs and gets trapped in the vice grip of my cleavage. God forbid this should happen when my head is bent forward, otherwise it’s like wearing a damn noose and I can’t lift my head up until I free the Vesper from it’s boobie-jail. I could just buy myself a 30″ chain but why should I have to pay this boob tax? I wish Vesper gave the option of a longer chain with purchase. We can’t all be thin with wide-set B-cup boobs that gracefully hover around the Vesper, making it all look effortless and sexy.

Crave Vesper  - showing the power button. If you wear it correctly it lays against you, not facing outward.  Crave Vesper - trying to peel off the stupid notice sticker that assures you the Vesper is meant to warm up during use I'm not a B cup.  showing the Crave Vesper resting atop my cleavage, sticking out at a weird angle. The chain needs to be a lot longer.

So I’m at a loss though on what to do with it.  I wanted to put it on my keychain but the stupid power button prevented that. You would think that having an outtie power button, smart design would say that you either have travel-lock or require the button to be depressed for a second or two before it turns on. That’s not the case at all so it gets turned on easily if I have it on my keyring. Stupid. More stupid is that you do have to press and hold a second to turn it off. When it turns back on, it’s at the setting you left it. Except that the act of pressing to hold actually changes it to the next setting up. So if I was using it on high (duh) when I turn it off and then back it, it’s on the pulse setting, not high. Every damn time I turn on the Vesper I have to cycle through the settings to get back to the one I really wanted to be on: High.

I tried to be trendy (forgetting that I’m actually NOT) and attempted to layer the Vesper with other pendants for a “fun” trendy look. It’s a thing now, right? I don’t know. My husband didn’t like the look of the layering OR the Vesper. My 74 year old co-worker who thinks tattoos and piercings are gross (who is also racist and classist and everything elseist) gave me this “what the hell are you wearing” look and then actually said “what the hell is around your neck?? FLASHLIGHTS???” Yeah, Norma. Flashlights. It’s what the kids are doing these days. *sigh*

Everything Else

It IS easy to clean, but it’s only splashproof. Another annoying feature is that you’re not supposed to let the battery get drained and then not recharge it for awhile. This apparently will permanently kill the battery. I’m not the best with remember to recharge vibrators I don’t use consistently. I don’t see myself constantly keeping the Vesper fully charged, especially since charging requires a specialty cable which I will inevitably lose.  I was able to get about approximately 45 minutes actual use time but this included a lot of turning off and on, before it died on me.  And in case you didn’t see the specs at Shevibe, it’s 3.8″ long, as thin as your average pencil and weighs 20 grams. The chain is said to be stainless steel as well (both nickle-free) but I don’t see the chain lasting unless you’re very gentle on your jewelry. The lobster clasp is dubious.

OH! Weird bonus usage: I’m not sure about you iPhone peeps but the Vesper works as a stylus on my HTC Android phone. 

Bottom line: I don’t hate it. It’s interesting. I don’t think it’s right for most power queens, though. As a necklace, it’s very modern and I don’t feel it would be obvious. If you’re well-endowed like me, you might want to put it on your own, longer necklace chain. I think that the price isn’t too bad for the silver (stainless steel – $69) or the rose gold tipped ($79), but the $149 for the 24K gold plated is a bit too luxurious for the vibration intensity (or lack thereof) it puts out. You would have to be certain it is powerful enough for you and that you like the looks of it as a necklace. This isn’t something I can see wearing all the time or even often, but I might learn to like it more. 

 

Much thanks to my lovely Shevibe for sending me one to review! 

 

Jan 052015
 

The Bubble Love and Dilly sitting on the edge of a bath tubIf you have a clitoris, chances are fairly decent you figured out years ago that your bathtub faucet is pretty awesome (lucky people had the detachable showerhead). The tub faucet never did anything for me, but the jet spray on the showerhead sure did 1. The force of the water was a pretty decent substitution for me for powerful vibrations.  Last year while visiting someone with a bathtub with built-in jets, I was able to maneuver myself in front of a jet well enough to reach orgasm – but it was not comfortable and I think I pulled a groin muscle. I’m too old and fat for these antics. So in a situation where a detachable showerhead isn’t an option, Bubble Love could save you.

One of my first thoughts on the Bubble Love was “Why not just buy a detachable showerhead that has a jet spray option? You’ll save $140”. Well, valid point. A showerhead’s jet spray can’t be adjusted in terms of “intensity” unless you get a super fancy one with more than 3 settings and the jet spray on a shower head doesn’t feel like the faucet you may know and love.  BUT if you fill up your bathtub and the hose on the showerhead is long enough, you could use the jet spray under water much like using the Bubble Love and adjust “intensity” by positioning it farther from your vulva. The Bubble Love can be adjusted too, by either using the dial on top or moving the unit so that it is closer to you or farther away. Bubble Love does say in their marketing that a mere hose-driven showerhead will not be nearly as pleasurable as the Bubble Love but I’d have to disagree a bit.

I’m finding myself really torn on the Bubble Love and a lot of it comes down to price – because when a sex toy costs over $60 many people have trouble justifying it. When it costs over $150, most people have trouble justifying it. It has to be awesome, it has to really be worth the price tag. So that’s the big question for me – is Bubble Love good enough to plonk down $179? I would say yes IF you can say yes to most of these:

1. You only have a bathtub with no chance for a shower head. This is self-explanatory. I kinda feel like the showerhead (be it alone or put under the water with you) is just about as good, for a fraction of the cost.

2. You’ve tried some vibrators and just don’t like how they feel compared to being under the running water of your bathtub’s faucet. I’ve had more than one person come to me, asking for a sex toy that feels more like their bathtub faucet and I thought that this could be something special that I could recommend.  And Bubble Love is pretty powerful if you have it close enough to you (but then, so is the jet spray on a shower head). But when vibrators like the Tango, the Rosa, Je Joue Uma, and now even the beloved-by-most-except-for-me Lelo Mona 2 are waterproof and submersible AND cost less (well, except for the Rosa but goddamn is that thing worth the price tag, both versions) AND can be used in or out of the water? You have a lot of bathtime options.

3. You take frequent baths and keep your tub immaculately clean. Of course, being a frequent bath-taker means you’re getting your money’s worth. But also, your bathtub needs to be super clean. No lingering chemicals, no ring around tub. In fact if you’re taking a bath to get clean, I might even go so far as to say that you should leave Bubble Love until you’re taking a bath just to soak and relax. It might seem obvious but Bubble Love is taking the water in your tub and shooting it at your vulva at a fairly high pressure. If the water isn’t clean this could lead to infections or itching. 

4. You don’t have reach issues or disabilities that would make holding it in place difficult (similarly, you are not a plus-sized person with a teeny tub). I had thought that the Bubble Love could be hands-free once positioned properly, great for people with disabilities or reach issue but it’s not. It is certainly advertised as being hands-free. Sure there’s a peg with a suction cup but that suction cup doesn’t work  – by their nature if you pull on the suction cup at an angle you can break the seal. The back end of the Bubble Love is heavy enough that it leans back and despite the suction cup peg being on a ball joint, it still releases the suction. So despite being advertised that way, it was never hands-free for me. Maybe I’m being unrealistic but for the infrequent times I take a bath, I’m trying to relax. The buoyancy of the water makes my joints feel better, the warm water makes me sleepy, etc. I want a lazy masturbation experience, too. I don’t want to hold the damn thing.  Also? I’m a larger person. The average older tub is not big enough for me to have much space between my knees let alone allow me to spread my legs easily and due to the way I’m built, this is kinda necessary for a session with the Bubble Love. In order to even use this for review I had to wait until I was staying somewhere with a larger-than-average tub. Even then, disaster ensued (you can see why in the video, and read more in the Dilly section).

5. You don’t need utter discretion. It’s a little noisy. The sound of the motor running isn’t Magic Wand noisy but people will wonder what you’re doing in there. Bathrooms notoriously amplify sound, anyways. In addition to the sound of the motor itself, there’s the port where the Bubble Love sucks in air (I call it the blowhole because the whole thing looks like the Twitter Fail Whale) with a schlurping loud sound if you get water in that port during use 2. Many of the better vibrators will be quite a bit less noisy.  Noise aside, there’s the unit. It doesn’t look like a sex toy, that’s for sure. But you will need to drain the water from it and leave it out to dry, and then find a place to store it. It’s larger than your average vibrator.  I’m not about to leave it sitting out all the time. I don’t have a space for it.

I wanted to love the Bubble Love.  But out of the 5 points listed above I only have #5 going for me and that’s not enough to justify it for myself. I can recommend and appreciate a great sex toy even if it’s not my cup of tea so it’s not a matter of being too subjective in this case.  The stream of water definitely is powerful, so it has that going for it, which is something. You won’t find a $40 tub attachment with this powerful of a jet stream, but you can with a showerhead. If the Bubble Love were priced a lot lower – closer to $100? – I might be less critical overall.  But since it IS powerful and it is rechargeable, I don’t doubt that it is priced where it needs to be. It is a quality machine and a product that works mostly as advertised (…except for that hands-free bit which I was never able to replicate).  My problem with the Bubble Love isn’t really with the Bubble Love itself, it’s simply the fact that it’s really only going to be compatible for a small margin of people. Since I wasn’t one of those people, it did color my view BUT I am notoriously a very picky sex toy reviewer who finds, notices and cares about certain faults where most others do not. I really don’t want to crap on the company and I definitely don’t feel that this sex toy should be passed up by everyone – but it will take a certain alignment of stars for the Bubble Love to be the match for you.

I also can’t ignore this wording on their site: “Every woman who has used Bubble Love achieved orgasms and did it faster than with the typical vibrator.” Did I achieve orgasm? Yes. Faster than my Tango or Rosa Rouge? No. Would I continually choose the Bubble Love over my favorite vibrators? Absolutely not. Between the assertions that the Bubble Love is hands-free and the promises that it is better than a vibrator and that “all women” loved it, I’m actually feeling like a failure here for having issues with it and NOT loving it.

Dilly, inserted and supported, everything looks fine. Dilly, inserted and somewhat not supported, you can see it flops downward, and it wobbles in the water.

Optional “Dilly” Attachment

Dilly. No. Just, no. First, it’s an extra $40. Second, it is attached like a really loose tooth via ball joint. Remember that? When you had a loose tooth and it was hanging on by a thread, you could waggle it and turn it and still it stayed there? That’s what the Dilly was like for me, except that it came loose far more easily than a tooth. I had the coordination  of a drunk baby trying to insert it into my vagina while holding the Bubble Love’s handle AND the Dilly AND keeping myself from slipping down the tub and etc – it was almost comical and almost a tragic accident. Picture this: I’m in a tub that, when sitting, my feet don’t touch the other end. This means my ass slips down a bit until my toes can touch. So I’ve got one leg partially resting on the tub edge leaving me with one foot to keep myself above water. I’m trying to get the Dilly inserted and it’s not working. Suddenly, the Dilly detaches from the Bubble Love and clunks loudly on the tub bottom. I lose my grasp on the Bubble Love’s handle. Like a deflating balloon, the Bubble Love is now scooting around the tub haphazardly by itself at an alarming rate (just like in the video below). I get sprayed in the face. There’s water everywhere. My foot slips from the tub and I start to slide down into the water all because I’m trying to sit up and reach forward for the manic Bubble Love twirling around and shut it off. At this point I’m pissed and most certainly NOT relaxed and I fling the Dilly across the bathroom.

 

UPDATE: I don’t know how I didn’t see this yesterday. I’d noticed a few black scuff marks on the Bubble Love, and I don’t know how they got there. But today as I was putting it away I notice faint yellow discolorations. I don’t know how it’s happened, but I can only caution you to store it inside a white storage bag and be very careful with it. During the filming of the video below something also happened and I noticed that the two halves of the plastic had separated a bit. I was able to snap them back together, but I still need to caution care when handling and storing. 

2015-01-06 11

Anyways. Since it was that difficult to get the Dilly inserted once, I cannot imagine thrusting with it. If you really want the feeling of fullness, then get yourself a Tantus Ryder Grab Bag for something more hands-free, or just use your favorite dildo. Having the dildo attached to the Bubble Love was not a bonus for me. It was simply more trouble than it was worth. 

I do want to thank Bubble Love for sending me one to check out. If you think this could be the thing you’re looking for, I recommend buying it from SheVibe.

 

  1. For those curious, this is the showerhead I have; one of the settings forces all the water out of a concentrated center which makes it pretty powerful
  2. I’d recommend using the float and hose at all times in order to prevent this
Dec 312014
 

LeloMona2If you at all frequent the world of sex toy review blogs (or even Reddit) you’d probably think that the Lelo Mona 2 is one of the three Holy Grail sex toys (the other two being the We-Vibe Tango and the Njoy Pure Wand). So you may be able to understand why I feel like the black sheep (oh wait, I am!) for not loving the Lelo Mona 2. I ask that you hear me out before you light the torches and brandish the pitchforks. I like it well enough; it’s okay. But I don’t long for it. In fact, I don’t ever use it….unless I’m writing a review.

“How can you not love the Mona 2?!?”

Since my body requires a ton of vibration strength for it to matter to my g-spot, the vibrations of the Mona 2 don’t quite cut it for me as an internal vibe. It’s good, don’t get me wrong, and it’s fairly strong, but I need something more…. more than most people. I need the serious rumbles, like those found in the L’amourose Rosa Rouge.  The vibrations of the Lelo Mona 2 are good enough to help stimulate my internal clitoris but not enough to really wake up my g-spot. It’s pretty good as an external vibe if you don’t like pinpoint vibrations, and want something with a handle, but it’s still not going to be my top recommendation. I actually can’t think of a situation where I’ve chosen the Mona over the We-Vibe Tango for external stimulation – I guess I prefer something more pinpoint (like the Tango). I find that using a vibe like the Lelo Mona 2 as an external stimulator during partnered PIV sex is a little less awkward because it gets my hand out of the way a bit, versus using the Tango, but the effort required for me to come using the Mona 2’s more broad stimulation isn’t worth the saved hassle.  Plus, after trying vibes like the Je Joue Uma, the half-plastic half-silicone design of the Mona 2 combined with the buttons makes clean-up a bit more of a hassle than I feel up for most times. Yes, I’m lazy. The Uma is totally encased in a silicone skin, and the buttons on the end are just a bit easier for me to access. 

Better than, Worse than

If we’re comparing Lelo to Lelo, I’d definitely pick the Mona 2 over the Gigi 2 any day.  Lelo Mona 2 provides the fullness I need with a longer overall design that I also really need. The vibrations of the Mona 2 are definitely stronger and better than the Gigi 2. While I do love everything about the L’amourose Rosa Rouge much more than the Lelo Mona 2, for those who need a lot of firm pressure on their g-spot, I’d recommend the Mona 2 (or Uma) over the Rosa Rouge. But if you want something easier to hold and with more powerful vibrations, I’d recommend the Rosa (or heated version, Rouge) any day. There is an increased cost there, of course. Je Joue’s Uma is about $20 less than Mona 2 and I feel the vibrations are just a bit more rumbly. 

Like most higher-end sex toys, Mona 2 is rechargeable, waterproof, has varied levels of vibration intensity and has a few pulsating settings. I’m never a fan of patterns, so I stick with the straight vibrations. There’s a warranty but experiences from fellow readers have shown that there’s a few issues with the Lelo customer claims department.  Unlike most newer rechargeable sex toys, though, the Lelo Mona 2 isn’t USB-rechargeable. This means you’ll have to purchase from a store in the country you live in, to ensure your charger is the right voltage and prongs and whatnot for you.  The silicone is a silky-smooth skin overtop a hard plastic vibrator, so there’s no give and no squish. If you need something softer and thinner, try the Tenga Iroha Minamo.

Want it?

As with all Lelo creations, Mona 2 is a bit pricey. As of this writing, SheVibe.com sells it for $129.99. Every now and then you’ll be able to catch a Lelo sale or just an overall site sale to save a bit. So far, I’ve received fewer complaints about the Mona 2 failing than other Lelo items, but I’m skeptical overall on their brand. Of course, now that I’ve taken so long to write this review the Mona Wave is out. So now the big question will be  Mona 2 or Mona Wave? Stay tuned….a review on the Wave is coming shortly. 

 

All purchase links here go to Shevibe, the best retailer on earth. If, however, you’re in the UK you can grab it from LovehoneyUK.  And Canadians, check out Come As You Are

Dec 122014
 

We-Vibe Pleasure MateI’ve been in love with the We-Vibe Tango for years now. Well, my first love was technically the Salsa  -that bullet-pointed tip just seemed to work a little better and the color choices were fabulous. I quickly learned that the Salsa/Tango were the same size as the Rocks Off Ro80mm bullet and the Tantus bullet. Swapping out those for the Tango usually led to great success (the Tantus Panty Play was the one time I had disastrous results). 

So you can imagine my glee when I saw that We-Vibe was finally giving Tango it’s very own accessories, the We-Vibe Pleasure Mate collection. I felt a bit like a kid coveting the latest Cabbage Patch Doll accessories (my favorite was the CPD-sized high chair for sitting her alongside me at dinner). I had to collect em all. 

Dusk

When I finally had the We-Vibe Pleasure Mate Dusk in my hands, I was a bit underwhelmed honestly. I was surprised at how small it is – at the widest portion of the bulb it’s 1 inch. I know so many people who already use the Tango in their existing toys, but the Dusk is absolutely for un-butt-initiated. It’s beginner-sized and won’t provide a “full” feeling at all. If it were uberpowerful, it may matter less. But due to the diminutive size of the plug, they couldn’t fit the Tango inside the plug, instead it fits through a sleeve outside the plug which helps give it a anal-safe anchor. What results is a whole lot of vibration outside the butt (and even well into the labia where applicable) and a lightly moderate amount of sensation inside. It’s not the weakest vibrating plug I’ve felt, but it’s not really what I’d call Powered By Tango.

If small size and moderate vibration is your jam, you’ll love the Glow. Some people would find this set-up perfect. Most people I know, though, won’t. Really, not enough vibration transfers up into the plug part.

Glow

Lelo gigi 2 vs We-Vibe Pleasure Mate GlowMany moons ago, Lelo introduced the Ella dildo. And the Gigi vibrator. That angled, flat thumb of a head became iconic and is replicated far and wide for being superior as a g-spot massager in the eyes of most. I certainly think the design is awesome; my first g-spot toy had a tip like a pointy beak. Yikes. So the We-Vibe Pleasure Mate Glow is pretty awesome and pulls double duty as a dildo and a vibrator. We-Vibe has constructed the Glow to still be sturdy even without the Tango inserted. There’s a channel in the Tango-hole (and a hole down inside) so that it’s fairly easy to insert and remove the bullet, but it’s snug enough that it stays put during use. People who have arthritis in their fingers, trouble gripping something firmly and/or lack of hand strength in general will find it difficult to remove the Tango on their own. People with reach issues who need a longer dildo, or a dildo with a handle, will find it a bit difficult to use the Glow since it is a bit short.

The vibrations transmitted are fairly good.  This doesn’t suddenly become a super-powered g-spot vibrator – it’s not possible. There’s a lot of solid silicone for the vibrations to travel through. If you need a super-powered g-spot vibe, then I’ll recommend the L’amourose Rosa or my very favorite, Rosa Rouge. I do think the vibrations transmit better than many Tantus dildos, though and it’s even a bit more powerful than the Lelo Gigi 2 by a hair.  Glow also isn’t very big; the head is about 1″ wide and if inserted more than 3 inches, the shaft widens to 1.25″. 

Woooboy is the Glow PINK. I mean it. It’s bright. It’s even a little garish. If you are offended by pink, you’re out of luck because Glow only comes in pink. If you want to be matchy-matchy, you’ll want the pink Tango. Only the newer pink Tango, please, the older version (a dusty rose) clashes horribly. I can’t abide by clashing colors. 

Who Should Buy This

If you’re a sex toy expert and connoisseur of vibes, a lover of power and a queen of size….you might want to pass. You won’t be excited. However if you’re ready to move past your very first, low-priced sex toys and settle on something quality? Get the whole kit, if you or your partner want to explore anal play. The whole kit even includes a pretty, pearly white Tango – a color you can’t get on its own. A color that doesn’t clash with either the Dusk or Glow. When you buy the Dusk or Glow on their own, a Tango isn’t included. So if you’re new to the Tango too it’s going to cost $139.99 to get both the Glow and a Tango, where the whole set is priced at $149.99. 

Like I said for those ready to move into the world of better sex toys, get the kit. You’re getting the best clitoral vibrator on the market for those who need power1, a very nice g-spot dildo or vibe and a beginners butt plug. All in true body-safe materials from a company with excellent customer support who honors their 1-year warranty.

 

A big thanks to SheVibe for hooking me up with the Pleasure Mate Glow and Dusk for my honest review. 

  1. I do want to note: if your clitoris is sensitive, if you can come fairly easily from fingers and tongues? The Tango might be a bit too much for you
Dec 082014
 

Wevibe4PlusAppDamn, these vibrations bore me.

I’m supposed to be in awe of the smartphone/Bluetooth controlled aspect of the We-Vibe 4 Plus right now, literally right now as I type this, but I can’t be. In part because the Bluetooth aspect works only when I’m naked or in undies and dudespreading all over the place. But largely because THESE VIBRATIONS BORE ME.

We-Vibe, in theory, has always been a great idea. And for many people, it is a great idea in practice. For many people, the We-Vibe works exactly as advertised. Until the We-Vibe 4, with it’s different profile and more snug fit, there were also many people who experienced too much shifting of the We-Vibe for it to really be hands-free. But for me the We-Vibes have always been an “in theory” toy because the vibrations were never enough. Even when they increased the motors and made them a bit more rumbly, it doesn’t matter. When they came out with the Salsa and Tango, I knew they had the ability for something seriously awesome, but those motors don’t get used in the We-Vibe couples vibe. So I’m sitting here trying in vain to be excited. I’m even using one of the pulsating patterns, in an effort to fool my clitoris into thinking there’s more going on than there really is.

My clitoris is not easily fooled. The night got worse. My clit turtled. My beloved Rosa was only barely able to save me. I kinda want to like the We-Vibe 4 Plus but yet I dread having to use it again and am sad that now I have two of them** which is two too many.

On the way to finding a pulsating pattern I liked, something else very wrong happened. You see, with the We-Vibe 4 Plus’s We Connect app, you can do some interesting things like independently control the motors in the arm. In theory. In practice, I can’t tell any difference between level 1 and level 10 when it comes to the g-spot arm. And the only time I really feel it the vibrations in the g-spot arm is during certain patterns that seem to turn off the clitoral arm for a half-second or more, leaving the g-spot arm doing…something. It doesn’t feel good. In fact, I don’t ever want to feel that again. It reminds me of getting a pap smear. An uncomfortable, weird, foreign feeling in my vag. DO. NOT. WANT.

Alright, enough about these vibrations. Touted as a great sex toy for long-distance couples, couples too horny to get through the work day or even those who just want to play around in public together, the We-Vibe 4 Plus works with certain smartphones via Bluetooth to be controlled by an app by either partner. Using it when your partner is on a trip or lives long distance is a lot like literally penciling in sex to your calendar. If you’re on board with that, carry on. If you wanted the element of surprise, the ability to wear the We-Vibe for hours not knowing when your partner will flip the proverbial switch? Eh, you’d be let down a little. To be  fair I don’t think it’s possible to let permissions idle for hours on end; currently your partner has to send over a request to control and then has 30 minutes for you to get into position and lay down the first tracks. But the problem I have with the We-Vibe 4 Plus isn’t about the permissions. It’s about my weight and my vulva. Wevibe4Plus

At my current weight I have full, fleshy outer labia. They almost completely cover the We-Vibe when it’s inserted. And unless I have my legs spread a bit and am only wearing thin pants or no pants, the Bluetooth connection between the vibe and my phone gets cut. I went through a dozen and a half attempts between the two units; a dance where I press and hold the power button on the unit until it gives off two short pulses and then I grab my phone and try to control it and it just mocks me, telling me the connection is lost and to please make sure it’s charged. IT IS CHARGED.  A few people told me that the same thing happens during sex when the We-Vibe is between two bodies.  I had this problem with two WV4+’s. My original, in Slate Gray, wouldn’t ever work when inserted. My second one, garish Pink, works under the best of circumstances. The included remote only works from a distance of 1 foot or less and needs unimpeded access to the vibe, so having the Connect app for control is a big help, when it works.  According to all of the info from We-Vibe on the SheVibe page, there are 10 intensity levels on the regular remote, too, but again I can’t really feel 10.  And often I’m not even sure that the press of the button on the remote worked, so having the visual confirmation on the We Connect app is quite helpful. I’m really not a fan of patterns, so the bonus patterns available on the We Connect app don’t do anything for me (in fact the two that made me want to rip the thing from my vagina are Connect app patterns – Peak and Chachacha). Creative types can use the Connect app to make their own pattern.

If you ever owned an older version of the We-Vibe and felt that it was too loose, take heart. 4 and 4 plus fit much more snugly. In fact, I swear the 4 Plus is a little more snug than the 4. I had trouble getting it inserted and into the correct position and at first it almost felt pinchy it was so snug. This may not be a problem for those who are not overweight. The 4 plus is exactly like the 4 regular with the exception of the 10 mysterious levels of intensity and the app.

Here’s the real question: Should you spend the extra $20 to get the 4 Plus version? If your labia is nothing like mine, then yes – if you have minimal labia. If you can orgasm fairly easily from fingers and tongues, then the vibrations of the We-Vibe may be enough for you. If you can see yourself often being in an area where both you and your partner have either WIFI or a decent data connection for using the App, then yes. If you’re okay with the fact that it requires some personal scheduling and lack of spontaneity to use, then yes. 

 

A big thanks to SheVibe for sending me the We-Vibe 4 Plus to try out, and to We-Vibe for being so great in making sure I didn’t have a defective unit**.

**Just in ensure that I didn’t receive a defective unit, We-Vibe sent me a new one. They had also updated their app while I was in testing phase. Neither of these helped. 

 Posted by at 12:12 pm