Posted by Lilly | 2 Comments

The Best (and worst) Sex Toys of 2012

Last  year I wrote up what I thought were the best & worst sex toys of 2011 and here I am again. My reviewing slowed down this year so I’m afraid I may have missed one or two that would deserve a spot on this list. If you can think of anything that I would consider worthy of this list, mention it! It will give me something to try in the new year. I’ve also included a few things on the list that I haven’t personally tried (*), but my Spidey Sense tells me my hunches are spot-on. That and reading from reviewers that I trust.

Best Sex Toys of 2012

Last year I could rattle off a few really stand-out new products. This year I’m having trouble coming up with more truly “wow” items simply because my tippy top favorite wins by such a giant landslide that everything is just “good” in comparison.

Best Vibrator: Tango & Salsa by We-Vibe – (Some of my research says these came out Dec2011/Jan2012, some research says earlier.) It’s no surprise to regular readers of my blog that this would be my number one pick as I have adored these vibrators for a multitude of reasons. They’re one of the few “luxury” sex toys that I fully stand behind the price tag and I will recommend these to just about anybody. I pretty much compare everything to them now and they can sometimes be the only vibrator that I use for weeks on end. Solo, partnered, stand-alone or paired with a dildo…it doesn’t matter. Best external vibrator, ever. Period. It is simply the most powerful mini vibe on the market – and it’s rechargeable. Those two facts don’t usually go hand in hand. It’s more rumbly than just about anything else, too. Pick any external vibe and this will blow it out of the water. Don’t let that scare off the sensitive girls though, because there are 4 speeds.
p.s. – Grab up the Salsa while you can at EF if you prefer the red, black or white color, as it appears that We-Vibe has discontinued Salsa – Salsa & Tango are virtually identical except for the tip’s shape and the colors. Tango comes in baby blue, pink and purple. I also feel that the Salsa is more versatile for replacing the RO-80mm bullets.

Best Dildo: This year’s best dildo is also one of the more unique things. Tantus came out with three new dildos this year specially made for people with short arms. Um, I think. Actually I don’t know what the idea was behind making dildos with handles, but I’d like to think the short-arms theory came up in the drawing room. The Anaconda is my favorite but for those that prefer a little more texture and a little less girth, the Echo and Goddess versions are awesome as well. While Tantus didn’t pioneer the whole handle-on-a-dildo thing, I think they perfected it. I’ve only ever seen similar styles in icky rubber dildos. You don’t want an icky, rubber dildo.

Sometimes Tantus has sales on these, so keep an eye on their site as well for the Anaconda, Echo Handle and Goddess Handle.

Best New-to-Me Find: Aslan Leather Harness – I’m one of those people who has a visceral reaction to the smell of true leather. Aslan Harnesses are made from the most awesome leather, ever. It’s buttery soft and beautiful. The Cherry color is just so incredibly sexy. While I can’t consider myself a harness expert, I’ve tried on a few and the Cherry Minx was the most comfortable one I’ve had on and that says a lot. I always used to think that being fat with hips and a gut meant I couldn’t find a harness but this company proves that thought wrong. The Cherry Jaguar is better for slimmer-to-curvy women, as the Minx adds in a corset backpad that allows for a bigger size increase if you need it. Really though, I think you’ll love any harness from Aslan. They’re just beautifully made and look awesome.

Best Sex Toy Accessory: Vibrator Enhancer* – It doesn’t cost much and it doesn’t really do much but yet if you’re really into anal play and like vibrations in your butt, then you need to own this. Nothing more than a stretchy hunk of silicone, it gives vibrators a flared base which is essential for safe anal play. Small, medium and large sizes will accommodate just about any sex toy on the market I think. I’ve read in more than one place that it can also turn a standard vibe into a dual stimulator, but I just don’t buy that. Anatomy doesn’t work that way for one, and two as we learned from the We-Vibe Touch, a hunk of silicone seriously dampens vibrations. The Enhancers are sold alone or in a three-pack; for the price, you should just get the three-pack, that way you’re certain to get the best fit. You want the enhancer to fit pretty tight – a barely-there grasp will be useless as an anal-play-safety device. Also keep in mind depending on where you’re able to put the enhancer, the all-around pressure on the vibrator might dampen vibrations on some toys. Just try to keep this thing on the handle of your favorite vibe.

Honorable Mention: Lelo Smart Wand Large – I love the deep, rumbly vibrations and feel that they are less numbing than the Hitachi. It’s not as powerful but sometimes buzzy things like the Hitachi need to be more powerful in order to get some people off…..like me. I need less power when the vibrations are truly deep and rumbly. This doesn’t receive a ribbon though because you really get the most out of it as a sex toy only by adding in a Hitachi-compatible attachment like the Gee Whiz…plus the price tag of everything is a bit of a hindrance. But for rumble-enthusiasts and lovers of the posh look of Lelo, it’s a Good Thing. Heavy? Kinda. Much better as a back and body massager though than the Medium version, which earned a place down below.  If I could manage to keep this thing charged up all the time, I would use it more often than I do.

Best Re-Vamp Efforts: Lelo has revamped, for the better, the Tiani (and I think anything else from the SenseMotion line), Tor II cock ring, Ina, Mona, and Elise. Lelo actually listened to the complaints of reviewers and while they obviously could not alleviate all concerns and please everyone, their efforts are worth mentioning. The Mona was never really a bad toy, but with a power boost to the Mona 2 and a change towards a more rumbly motor, it seems to be even better. They even addressed that demarcation line between silicone and plastic, making things easier to clean! The TorII cock ring (I’m told) was made more stretchy after my review, although it never really was the strongest contender in their line of revamps. Ina 2 gets a more flexible clitoral arm so that there’s less clamping going on, plus more rumbly power.

Worst Sex Toys of 2012

Hold on to Me Kegel Exercisers from the Bedroom Kandi line – Some women will love how these look, some women will hate them. I actually preferred the color scheme to the Lelo Luna Beads but that was the only singular positive thing about this utter failure. I had the head guy from OhMiBod (the manufacturer) insisting up down left and right that the holder for the beads was pure silicone. My insistence that it was not led to my Silicone Flame Testing post and video. The fails on the HOTM begin with the name and end at “will snap your vag like a rubber band oh and the paint flakes off”. Yeah.

Fixsation Couples Vibe – I knew the very second I opened the package that I was going to hate this item. Hate. It’s worthless for women who need more than just a little vibration and generic pressure to get off. At best it was annoying, at worst it was quite painful. It’s definitely not a “fat chick approved” sex toy, despite them offering the “”"panty”"” (I cannot put enough sardonic quotes around that word to describe it) in plus sizes.

We-Vibe Thrill – Part of the reason I hated the Thrill so badly was that I was expecting it to have the same motor as my beloved Tango/Salsa. It might, buried somewhere in the confines of the Dumbest Sex Toy Design This Year. It didn’t do anything for any part of my genitals, but hey my thumb got quite the buzz! Wait. Thumb? This toy would be great for women who require feather touches to their clit and a little buzz to the g-spot. If you need anything more than that, keep on lookin.

Lelo’s Smart Wand in Medium – As much as I enjoyed the Large Smart Wand, the Medium left a lot to be desired. Wimpy (equal to the original Mona), not at all living up to the “wand” name, worthless as a sex toy and more worthless as a body massager, it felt like an overpriced (but pretty) waste of money.

Duet by Crave – I didn’t review this, Epiphora gave us that honor. It confirmed my fears and despite being a giant geek, I was not at all willing to shell out $150 of my own money to echo her review. When we first saw this sex toy it was in beta, and all that was talked about was the fact that it was USB storage AND a vibrator ALL IN ONE. Sure…..if you wanna pay something like $225. For 16GB of storage. I always thought that the Lelo Mia would be better if it had USB storage capability but Piph made a very valid point: Unless you were to copy the porn file to the computer in question, it’s not like you can watch porn from the vibrator while you’re using it. Unless you truly enjoy something clamping your clit in a pinch that could turn ugly at the wrong moment, the vibrations are paltry and frankly…Crave should be ashamed of themselves. The vibe was also a lot bigger than I had expected and not even the posh look and adorable black leather carrying case could charm me.

Evi by Aneros – Aneros should stick to prostate toys. The idea behind the EVI is the same as their prostate toys – hands-free, it works by you clenching and unclenching muscles, basically. It may work for some (I’ve heard some glowing reviews, boggled as I may be) but it was an utter failure for me. It is supposed to stimulate both clit and g-spot in a back-and-forth motion via pressure alone. It doesn’t come anywhere near my g-spot OR my clit. It’s, quite honestly, a very boring sex toy. Just looking at the photos on the site again boggles me as the majority of dual-stim toys are C-shaped…and this is um, not. It felt like it was pressing into my ass.

Interested in anything here? I’m sure EdenFantasys will be running sales all month long and I’ll try to update them here.

Site-wide sale!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 5 Comments

The New We-Vibe Thrill – A solo version of the We-Vibe

I’mma be upfront and honest with you right now.

I’m not thrilled.

Yeah I know, that was cheesy. Actually, I’m disappointed, pissed off and feeling like I wasted my money.

The We-Vibe thrill’s shape is very reminiscent of the original couple’s vibrator version, but with one major design change: an odd plastic housing over the clitoral stimulator and a “control handle”. This vibrator is not at all meant to be used during sex and so the g-spot stimulator is more pronounced that the original We-Vibe and of course on the whole the Thrill is much bigger than the We-Vibe. 

   

I purchased the Thrill on my own for one reason: I’d read that the vibrations were very comparable to my darling favorites, the We-Vibe Salsa/Tango. I now have to wonder if that person even owned a Salsa or Tango because having that in mind when trying out the Thrill leads to one giant disappointment. The Salsa/Tango is, hands down, my favorite vibrator. If you held a gun to my head and made me pick only one vibrator to ever have, that would be it. In fact, I’ve only used something else on the off chances I’ve forgotten to charge up all 3 of mine. Yes, 3. I have my original Tango and Salsa plus one that I won during MomentumCon. And you’ll pry them from my cold, dead hands thankyouverymuch.

I would recommend the Salsa and/or Tango to anybody, heartily and with no reservations. On the reverse side though I will tell you to stay away from the Thrill. At $170, it is overpriced and underwhelming. The design seems to be a little similar to the Rock Chick, but with a much better vibrator motor. In fact, the Rock Chick would probably benefit from an upgrade to the Salsa vibe in place of its removable, watch-battery wimpy bullet. At least the Rock Chick had hopes of applying some pressure to my g-spot. The Thrill has no chance of that. The internal portion and the connecting arm are just like the We-Vibe – flexible and therefore applying no pressure. The vibrations are definitely pretty rumbly, which is always a good thing, but it’s just not enough to matter.

Let’s talk about the clitoral portion, because for as disappointing and fail as the g-spot portion is…..the clitoral stimulator is abysmal. Utterly freaking worthless, unless you would consider yourself on the more sensitive scale, requiring more movement/pressure than vibration. But for someone who has an unholy love for the We-Vibe Salsa….the We-Vibe Thrill needs to die in a fire. They made the clitoral portion hard plastic. The fact that the Salsa/Tango is hard plastic was a good thing, because the We-Vibe Touch has the exact same motor but is encased in typical We-Vibe silicone- making it easier to hold, but dampening the vibrations. Yet the Thrill goes in the opposite direction. The vibrations are actually severely dampened on the hard plastic portion – I would estimate that the vibrations on the silicone portion are 2 or 3 times more powerful than the vibrations on the plastic portion. The “control handle” is silicone and it vibrates more than the part that touches your clit. WHERE IS THE SENSE IN THIS? DID THEY TEST THIS? The demarcation line between the silicone and plastic is irritating, as well, and makes it as hard to clean as that damn Lelo Insignia vibrator I hated.

 

The singular control button is identical to the Touch and Salsa/Tango, as is the charging method: The button is in the middle of two tiny metal dots; you press it for 4 different power levels and then 4 different pattern settings. Press and hold to turn it off or on. However….this button is located at the tip which means it ends up buried in the apex of my labia. This makes the thing very damn difficult to control during use. If they added a handle, why not put the button up there on the handle??

   

The charger connects magnetically, but the magnetic connection is not very strong. It topples off so very easily, but I find that this is the case with any charging connection that is magnetic. As I was taking photos, I could barely get the thing to stay on if the cable was hanging down. Here’s another kicker for you – it charges via USB. Awesome, right? I suppose. I just don’t like for that to be my only charging option. Luckily since I already own the Salsa & Tango, I was just using that charger since it still fits and works the same. We-Vibe’s official statement on the USB-only matter is that in the interest of “conservation” they did not include a USB power adapter, since those things are so widely available elsewhere, which is fine I suppose but given the high price of the thing I would expect that to be included. But my charger for the Salsa is always plugged in and sitting ready and waiting – I wasn’t about to take up what precious little desk real estate is left just to make sure this thing was fully charged before I made my final decree of it being utter crap. We-Vibe also has this bad habit of giving you your charger in pieces. The “dock” that actually connects to the toy can separate from the cord. With the Touch/Salsa/Tango, a headset-style jack plugs into the tiny, weird-shaped white dome. With the Thrill, the “dock” is a teeny little black piece that merely plugs into a USB-to-mini-USB cable. This could mean that with the same cable, you could then start charging your phone or something but then you would have to remove the teeny black piece and if you’re anything like me, it’ll get lost. We-Vibe says that the Thrill will charge fully in 90 minutes and give you 2 hours of play time.

Yes, they give you a pouch to hold everything but it has not changed from the Salsa/Touch/Tango line – it is a very cheap faux-satin material that feels crinkly and weird. The box that it all comes in is actually quite nice – very sturdy and definitely usable for storage, the lid clicks closed magnetically. Ironically, it’s a stronger magnetic bond that the charger base is to the toy. If I cared about being discrete I could simply put a sticker over the logo on the front of the red box and that would render it completely incognito to first glance. The interior portions that hold the vibe in place for pretty presentation remove easily and are not glued in.

The Thrill comes in only one color option thus far – an admittedly pretty, dark fuchsia/ruby pink. The Thrill is 100% waterproof which is good because it’s not easy to clean and it will need cleaning often – it uses the typical We-Vibe silicone which is shiny and grabby. You can see below that after only a few minutes of taking photos, it accumulated a bunch of hair, fur and dust. You’ll want to rinse it off before you use it (which is never a plus in my book, I like spontaneity with my toys).

Honestly I’m not sure where I stand anymore with We-Vibe on the whole. The fact that they made the Salsa/Tango unlike any other rechargeable vibrator and that it could very well serve as my only clitoral vibrator needed, ever, tends to hold a LOT of weight. The fact that they kept making improvements to their original namesake also holds some weight. While it’s still a hetero-couple’s vibe and isn’t perfect, they did make very necessary and worthy changes. The Touch has merits and is great for those who don’t need the big oomph of the Salsa/Tango and need something easier to hold. It’s not my cup of tea, but it’s still nice. But the Thrill? It really just pisses me off. Experienced sex toy owners know if a toy will work for them in the first minute they hold it in their hands. It took me less than a minute to know that the Thrill was going to bore me. The nice packaging, the silicone, the recharge factor…none of that matters. None of it. The design is a complete and utter fail. If they had just made the entire thing silicone it would be better – the massive amount of silicone would still dampen the vibrations from the strong motor (I’m going to assume here that the motor is the same as the Touch/Salsa/Tango because that is what makes sense, and I do detect the same rumbly factor), but it wouldn’t kill it completely like the bizarre plastic portion does.

I think I’d recommend something like the Lelo Ina 2 over this is you’re looking for a nicer, rechargeable, part-silicone vibrator. Totally different shape and style yet still a dual-stimulator. There really is very little on the market that is similar to the Thrill – most dual stimulator vibrators are of the “rabbit” style, with a long control handle rather than being C-shaped. Other than the much-larger Rock-Chick/G-Rock there is the “Snugglepuss” by Vibratex, which has been around for longer than I’ve been reviewing, yet it’s pretty weak.

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 2 Comments

Lelo’s Luna Beads: Mini vs Original

Same thing, only smaller.

That’s what I said when I first got these and it’s still pretty much true. The set is identical in design, weights and colors to the original Luna Beads – I’m not going to rehash all of that crap, so just go back and read that review if you need that info. The only change is in the size.

Well….the size, and the fact that the weighted ball inside of the plastic bead is naked metal. I own two sets of Luna Bead Original and in both, that weighted bead is coated in something so that the sound of metal on hard plastic isn’t so loud. I have no idea why they didn’t do this with the Mini Luna Beads Pleasure System. The noise difference between the two is huge – but this doesn’t mean you’ll feel the weights rattling and shifting any moreso than the Original beads.

I could hear the Mini’s rattling around inside of me but that was from an internal POV. Externally it wasn’t super bad but I think in a public, very quiet place I would feel self-conscious. There was the occasional rattle but it could be passed off as something else. However, Elspeth recorded the sound her set made as she wore them, and the noise is quite obvious. Is the sound dampened for me because of my weight? Hard to say.

So I guess the question is….why should you purchase the Luna Minis? If you have tried any of the other kegel beads on the market (or the Luna Original) and felt that they were uncomfortably large then try out the Luna Minis. If you’re happy with the Original size or similar in other beads, then I’d say pass. They’re created especially for women who cannot tolerate much girth. You might be able to use these as further exercise if you feel that your kegels need more toning and you’ve been using the Luna Original 2-bead blue set; I did feel that it took a little effort to keep the Mini set inside of me and I was using a holstered 2-bead set. Have you ever worn a tampon and been in a situation where it’s been in a little too long and is over-saturated and starting to poke out a little? That’s what it was like for me wearing the Mini set, that feeling. I like the Luna beads because they’re a passive kegel exerciser, unlike little cheap Ben Wa balls that require active effort to stay inside of you.

The only other kegel bead set on the market that these can be compared to is the awful Bedroom Kandi Hold on to Me set; these are larger that the BK beads with actual silicone for the holster.

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 0 Comments

Looking for 50 Shades of Grey Sex Toys? How about a Steel Kegel Ball?

For those who have read the 50 Shades of Grey books (I, sadly, read the whole trilogy so that I could comment on it all with knowledge and then I lost the interest to even write the damn rant) you may remember that in a number of scenes, Christian Grey instructs Anastasia to insert a stainless steel (for everything with this damn idiotic man is gray/steel it seems) kegel ball for her to wear once while in public and another time or two during a spanking. It’s been awhile since reading the books though so I don’t know what they referred to it as, exactly. It wasn’t a Ben Wa ball. Those are generally the same theory as the larger Kegel beads on the market, which something rattle-y inside, but are much smaller and have no retrieval cord. As described in the book, the object Mr. Grey used was 2 steel silver beads linked with black thread. That just doesn’t work in reality.

 

Shelley’s Toy Box asked me to review an item for them and at the time I chose this because I had actually been looking to see if this “fictional” sex toy existed anywhere other than the author’s warped imagination. While the Stainless Steel Geisha Love Ball isn’t exactly what Anastasia used, it’s about as close as you’ll find on the market I think. Heavy, cold and made in Germany, these are not your average Kegel exercisers. Shelley’s Toy Box has two styles….with one chain dangling down, or two. I don’t quite understand what the difference is between those, really. More weight hanging outside the vagina to offer resistance, maybe?

As with all steel toys, the kegel ball will be cold at first unless you warm it in your hand a minute, but it does warm up to body temperature very quickly and retains that temperature….the dangling chain and attached little balls are another matter though and they may retail some chill.

The Stainless Steel Geisha Love Ball is sadly not something I will recommend for anyone who actually wants a Kegel exerciser. The Luna Beads have everything over on this item – they are more noticeable during wear, they are easier to sanitize, they are more customizable with weight and just all around more practical. The Geisha Love Ball weighs 90 grams; the chains and balls attached take the entire thing up to 120 grams. Lelo’s Luna Beads can be used together or singularly; each pink bead is 28 grams, each blue bead is 37 grams. This means that the Geisha Love Ball by itself weighs more than two blue Luna Beads together….and unless you have well-developed PC muscles, it is not recommended that you start out with 2 blue balls. Also, the chain with the ball(s) at the end? The chain is fairly long, which is necessary for a retrieval method, but those damn metal balls present a new problem – unless you’re wearing jeans, the clunk of the balls resting inside your panties as you sit down on a wooden chair is noticeable. Even for me.

The description on the site also says that these beads, since they are all metal, will rattle inside of you more noticeably ….. yet they do not. I stood here and danced around and I could barely feel them even whilst trying to simulate the twist. So perhaps these might be good for a novelty item and best suited for BDSM play where the wearer must keep these inside while their dominant tugs on the chains? However at $90-110 each, it’s a little much for novelty.

Since these are stainless steel, they can be sanitized fairly easily. However, I do not recommend that you drop it into a pot of boiling water. As I discussed recently regarding Lelo Luna Beads, the item may sustain a little damage if it knocks the sides of the pot during boiling. In comments of that post, Elspeth told of her marvelous work-around – use a colander in the pot! This way the items never touch the hot metal bottom of the pot, or bang the sides and all is protected. This does matter even with a stainless steel item, as they are not entirely scratch-resistant. However, cleaning this chain is not such as easy task. In fact, it might be the design’s major flaw. That chain is very, very difficult to clean in between the tight links.

While the Geisha Love Ball looks a lot more bad-ass than the Lelo Luna Beads, I would still recommend Luna Beads over this any day.

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 4 Comments

An Important Update on Lelo Luna Beads: Cleaning via Boiling

When I re-reviewed the Lelo Luna beads, I asked lots of questions of Lelo. I was told that one could boil them for no more than 5 minutes to help remove any lingering stains and/or better clean the nylon pull string. Seemed reasonable, but I didn’t yet try it.

Recently, a reader wrote and told me that she did this and her beads melted a bit, became deformed. I confirmed that she followed the “no more than 5 minutes” and promptly put her in touch with my Lelo rep so that her beads could be replaced. Lelo told me then to update and say that one should place a washcloth or something in the bottom of the pot so prevent the beads from banging around in metal. This advice as since been updated and now is:

Pour boiling water over the Luna Beads whilst they are in a bowl and let them soak for up to 5 minutes. This will prevent the beads from coming into contact with the very hot bottom of the pot, which is what could deform the beads……not the water.

If you’ve previously dropped them in a pot of boiling water and had any damage, please do let Lelo know or let me know. I’m sure they will replace your damaged beads for you. I really do wish that these instructions would have been tested and further clarified before I made them public, but hopefully this info will reach enough people.

UPDATE: AGAIN:  I received an email from someone and I have contacted my latest rep at Lelo for clarification – see below the reader’s email for Lelo’s response. Frankly, I’m pissed. They gave me false information once before and now this? I don’t know what to believe anymore. My best advice NOW, if you’re dealing with a discolored string, is to clean it in a very mild bleach solution. Let it soak only a few minutes and then rinse, and let it soak and rinse twice more in clean water. If the plastic discolors, contact Lelo. You have a warranty on these, use it. According to the latest from LELO, boiling water should still be fine. Since this person purchased the Minis when they had the uncoated metal ball, I’m thinking that that run of Minis was defective altogether. I don’t think that the uncoated metal ball was intentional, but who knows.

Hello Lilly,

I own the Luna Beads Mini and the string became discoloured after a few weeks of washing with just soap and water, so I did a Google search for “how to sanitize luna beads” and yours was the first site that came up.

I followed your advice from the LELO rep (I put the beads in a bowl, added water from a kettle and let them sit for less than 5 minutes). Unfortunately, one of the beads must have had a weak seam because this treatment allowed water to enter the bead. I have the old version of the Minis with the bare metal ball and now the ball is rusting due to the trapped moisture.

I contacted LELO and they are sending me a replacement, but after my experience I will not expose the replacement beads to boiling water. The manual says to NEVER expose the Luna Beads to extreme heat, and the customer service rep who handled my claim warned me that boiling the Luna Beads voids the warranty.

Either there is some inconsistency among LELO reps or they have updated their cleaning advice again.

LELO updated me:

Boiling LUNA Beads in the way I explained before is a fine method for cleaning. We do apologize if our Customer Care representative passed on the information that it automatically voided the warranty for LUNA Beads to your reader, but as I understand we did continue to honor the warranty in this case.

As to what it says in the user manual about “extreme heat,” we are trying to make sure customers do not expose their LELO products to unnecessary heat such as intense, direct sunlight over sustained periods of time, or trying to sterilize in a flame directly/ boil them incorrectly etc…

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 10 Comments

Lelo’s Smart Wands – A comparative review

This year, Lelo decided to tackle the vibrator they’ve left untouched thus far: The “wand” vibrator or “body massager”. Up until now, the only wand massager that looked half decent was the Vibratex Mystic Wands. Everything else, such as the Hitachi Magic Wand, the Acuvibe, or even the Fairy Massagers, looked cumbersome, cheap, clinical or just plain ugly. But the Lelo Smart Wands are pretty, I’ll give them that. Actually the first word that pops into my head is “posh”.

  

Of course, posh looks come with a posh price tag. Currently the non-sale price at EdenFantasys is $129 for the Medium Smart Wand and $169 for the Large Smart Wand. That is a lot of money to spend for most people and if they’re going to spend it, it had better be worth it.

What do you get for the price? Looks and the Lelo name, primarily. Plus a fairly intelligent design. Many wand vibrators have a long, straight handle. This isn’t ideal for using them as a back & body massager OR a vibrator. The handle of the Smart Wand is gently curved. And other than the metallic-painted plastic portion, the rest of the Smart Wand is covered in Lelo’s signature silicone skin. This is where they used their brains in design: There are no ridges on the head like the Acuvibe, Fairy Wand or Mystic Wands. There is no horrible texture like the Hitachi Magic Wand. And the neck is also completely covered by this smooth, silicone skin. It makes it really easy to clean. The Smart Wands are also pretty quiet for a wand massager. There is no high-pitched heard-through-walls whine of the Hitachi Magic Wand, and unlike the Mystic Wand Rechargeable, the buttons are silent when pressed.

Unlike many other wand vibrators, the Smart Wands are both waterproof. I’ve seen countless reviews talking about how they doubt the veracity of the waterproof claim simply because the charging port is large and uncovered. Why on earth would you doubt this?? Lelo is a major company, they would be stupid to tell you the vibrator is waterproof if it is not. If Lelo says it is, then it is, and you should feel free to take this thing into the shower if that’s what you enjoy.

The Large is quite large – about 14 ounces and 12″ long overall. The Medium is drastically smaller, measuring at 8″ in length and not quite 6 ounces in weight.

Lelo’s New Sensetouch Technology

Like all Lelo sex toys, the Smart Wands are of course rechargeable but that isn’t what sets them apart. Lelo’s “Sensetouch Technology” is a unique feature. Unfortunately, it’s not a feature that I personally think has a value. The Sensetouch sensors allow the vibration strength to gradually build as soon as the head of the wand comes in contact with your body. Sounds pretty neat, right? Meh. The build-up is pretty quick. The wand sits there idling on low speed until it sense that you’re touching it to your skin at which point it’ll quickly speed up to high – unless you then alter the speed or even pattern. It won’t ramp up in speed if it comes into contact with say, your bedspread. When you lift the wand away from your body, the vibrations die back down to low speed. When I first heard about this technology I had assumed that the vibration speed would increase or decrease depending on how hard you pressed it to your skin. That isn’t the case. The Sensetouch feature is something that you’re going to have to really think about to determine if it’s a necessary feature for your lifestyle.

In addition to this weird SenseTouch feature, the Wands also have the standard Lelo settings – 8 pattern settings, including steady vibrations, and I think 6 power settings. And of course the always-present Lelo feature: Button Lock. I don’t know of any other rechargeable wand massagers that have that feature.

Smart Wands….Vibrators or Body Massagers?

Lelo’s packaging firmly markets the Smart Wands as a body massager. The new white packaging also denotes that this is from their “Health” line rather than the black packaging of the “Pleasure” lines. As a body massager though, the Smart Wand Medium is pretty underwhelming. As an external vibrator it’s also somewhat underwhelming. It’s not buzzy, it’s not exactly weak but it’s no powerhouse. In fact the Smart Wand Medium is about equal in vibration intensity to the Lelo Mona. Medium is a lot smaller than the Large and would certainly be more “travel friendly”, but again as a body massager it really didn’t do anything for me. There’s a reason that some women flock to the drugstore electric body massagers – they are intensely powerful, meant to replace strong, powerful hands in a simulated deep-tissue massage. So people familiar with what a wand vibrator represents would assume then that Lelo is bringing the power. They’d be wrong……

….Until you get to the Smart Wand Large. In size, it’s pretty comparable to the Hitachi Magic Wand. In fact the head is so similarly sized that the Large Smart Wand can accommodate any attachment meant for the Hitachi. I’ll get to this gem in a few. Both the Smart Wand Medium and Smart Wand Large can be considered “rumbly” but the Smart Wand Land is very, very rumbly. Rumbly here translates to a very low RPM. In fact, it’s so low, and so quiet, that veteran sex toy owners might at first mistake this low, quiet sound with the sound of a dying vibrator. I did at first. Lelo won’t tell me what the RPMs are for the Smart Wand Large, but I would hazard a guess that it’s among the lowest in the industry. When properly equipped, the Large version gives the Wahl 2-speed on high quite the competition – it’s got the somewhat-jack-hammering quality without the “too much” quality of the Wahl¹. It is not as powerful at the Wahl 2-speed on High, and not quite as rumbly (that would be nearly impossible to replicate) but it’s really pleasurable for those that absolutely hate surface-buzzy vibrators.

The downside to all this power in the Smart Wand Large is that the handle vibrates with an alarming intensity. The trick though is to hold this thing right in the middle of the handle, the thinnest part of it. For some reason the residual vibrations are the weakest there and won’t cause you much hand/arm problems with longer-use sessions. The handle of the Smart Wand Medium has some residual vibrations, but no more than your average vibrator. If you have to hold the Large by the very end of the handle though you will feel numbness and irritating vibrations after 5 minutes of use.

As a body massager, the Lelo Smart Wand Large is fairly decent. Meaning, I’ve had better but it does have it’s pros and cons. One good point is that unlike many other rechargeable wand vibrators, there is no discernible loss of power when you apply pressure to the vibrating head. I’ve also had this thing last me quite awhile on a single charge. At least 5 masturbation sessions.  The Smart Wand Medium as I’ve said is worthless as a body massager.

As a vibrator, again the Medium has no real benefits. But the Large? Oh it shines. Gloriously. With one caveat: You really must pair it with a Hitachi-attachment for the best results. I purchased (finally!) the Vixen brand Gee Whiz Hitachi Attachment. It fits the Large very well; it harnesses all the broad-range power of the large head into more concentrated power through the um…nose? dildo? What would you call that? Insertable portion? You would think that since this attachment is largely made for internal use that that’s where it would shine but it is equally, if not moreso, lovely when used as a clitoral massager via the insertable dildo portion. It also turns the Smart Wand Large into a very powerful g-spot massager – almost as breathtaking as the Vanity VR6. In fact, the Gee Whiz performs way better when used on the Smart Wand Large than the Hitachi, which is the massager it was made for! The Hitachi’s vibrations are more powerful but they have a much higher RPM than the Smart Wand, and the vibrations just don’t travel as well. The difference in power transference is huge comparing the two. If I had purchased this attachment years ago for my Hitachi, I would have been really underwhelmed. You could also try the Gee Whizzard attachment, I’m sure it would perform just as well. I don’t see how there is any difference in the g-spot curve between the two, but perhaps the Gee Whizzard’s shaft, with the bumps and ridges, is more solid? I don’t know. The bumps aren’t even on the g-spot side of the shaft. It is worth mentioning that if you love the SenseTouch feature, you’ll have to give that up when you pop an attachment on.

PLEASE NOTE: For some idiotic reason, EdenFantasys has proclaimed in their attachment + massager combo deal that the Gee Whiz will fit the Smart Wand Medium. You are not even given the choice of buying the Smart Wand Large for this combo deal. This is a gigantic fail. The Medium is far, far too small for any Hitachi attachment to work.

More reasons to get the Smart Wand Large

The Large version is the first Lelo item to deviate from the standard black satin drawstring pouch. Instead, you get a reversible Neoprene pouch – the main side is black with plum stitching accents and the secondary side will match the dark purple of the vibrators. The Medium wand just comes with a standard satin drawstring pouch. The Large also comes with a bottle of Lelo’s sex toy cleaner. One thing also to note if you get the Smart Wand Large: While the male charging portion might look just like all the other Lelo chargers that are interchangeable, this one is meant solely for the Large Smart Wand – and it says so right on the charger. Since the Large has considerably more power than anything Lelo makes, I guess this makes sense.

I realize that this is a really pricey endeavor, especially if you take my advice (oh you won’t be disappointed) and get the Gee Whiz attachment, but I’d highly recommend the Lelo Smart Wand Large. Highly. Again, this high recommendation comes on the condition that you use the attachment. Just watch for sales. As of this writing there is a sale and you would get 30% off of your order; EdenFantasys has sales frequently, especially around holidays for site-wide sales like this. At 30% off, you can grab this duo for $160,  and you’ll get free shipping!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me