Jun 122009

Regular readers of this blog have likely noticed that there was a sudden rash of sex toy reviews recently posted. Yeah it’s my blog and I can do what I want, but I do want to mildly apologize because I don’t like it being that way, that high ratio of reviews to regular posts on my blog. MY blog, not other blogs. Just sayin’, I’m not saying I hate it when other blogs post that way.



I do have good reason though. Part is due to my writing funk in April, I couldn’t fucking review toys. I just couldn’t be arsed to do my usual reviewing. And since I fully believe that the whole damn point to me reviewing them is to cover all pertinent information so that a potential buyer has all the information they need, I didn’t want to do a short post or a half-assed review. Yawn, right?

The other part of the reason is that I’m changing who I review for. I know personally quite a number of other bloggers who review and they review for a number of companies – anywhere from 2 or 3 up to 6 or 7. But I’m getting picky. My god am I getting to be a picky little bitch. No jelly/rubber toys. Nothing from Doc Johnson, or Topco, or the awful California Exotics. And I won’t bother to review a toy that others have reviewed and have said it wasn’t powerful enough. If nothing else I have learned that if ANY other reviewer claims that the toy isn’t powerful enough to get them off, it surely will not get my clit-o-steel off.

The manifestation of my pickiness then is coming out in multiple ways.

VibeReview – while I still think they’re a great company, just doesn’t have a decent selection of things *I have not tried*. I don’t want to imply that they don’t stock much in general. But it’s time for me to move on from them for now, with fond memories of them being the first ones to let me review toys.

Babeland and Sextoy.com – I had a lot that I wanted to say, but the diplomatic polite side won out. I will leave it at this: I had minor “affiliate/reviewer” issues with both companies, multiple minor things over time and it all added up to “stop”. Also with Sextoy.com, they have not become the site I thought they had the potential to be, back when I first reviewed the site. Too many products, from too many suppliers, and not enough focus on quality over quantity.

There were other retailers that I had sporadically reviewed for or reviewed for once, that I’ll also not be continuing with simply for the fact that I wanted to pare down.


While I decided against publicly airing my issues, if anybody, reviewer or buyer, wants to know more about the whys – email me.
I plan though to stay on as affiliates of these companies, so I will still get credit if you buy things via my links.


The other side of this change now is that I’m only going to be reviewing for one retailer exclusively, and that is EdenFantasys (didja notice the cool banner that I MADE over there in the sidebar, eh eh?? I think it rocks, frankly, and that I was able to make it change photos. I liked doing it, it’s personalized to my site). I know that a couple of bloggers had major issue with them last year. While the company is still owned by the same person, there were TONS of staff changes and other changes, and I’d like to give them the benefit of the doubt, clean slate, etc etc and so on.

I’ll also be occasionally reviewing items directly for Liberator.com.

This change up means that I’ll be doing fewer reviews over all. For those that don’t care much about reviews, it’s good news! You can also expect that some reviews will be in a more fluid format, less “inside the box” kinda like this (awesome. hot. steamy.) review that Sinclair did recently.


May 172009

I had been eying her up for weeks, this enigma. Reasonably confident exterior, with a shy and easily embarrassed girl peeking out sometimes. I had witnessed the duality enough to know I could fuck with her. Sarah. Thin, pretty in a different sort of way and very attractive, C-cup tits, long straight light brown hair. A little younger than me but not by much.

After more than a month of laying the groundwork and getting things to a flirtatious and covertly dirty stage, I taught her how to communicate via email without risk of our naughty words being read.

I confessed a few things to her, one of them being my relationship with R and what we did. Her response was positive and then I laid out one more bombshell – that he wanted me to find a submissive girl to play with in the same manner. What a delicious and dangerous twist it would be to do this with a girl in my office….

I asked her, outright, if she considered herself submissive. She answered that she didn’t really know, as she had no experience in it – but the erotic stories she’s read online gave her a taste and at least knew that she wasn’t dominant.

Obviously I had to tread carefully; I could deal with that. I sent her off this email:

“Hypothetically speaking – what if, right now, I told you to go to the restroom and remove your panties? Would you do it? And what if, when you exited your stall, you found me standing there waiting for you to hand them to me? Would you do that? Would it make you blush? And then… what if…..as you stood over the sink washing your hands, I slid my hand up your skirt to your bare ass and down the crack and slipped my fingers quickly into your sticky wet cunt? Would you fight me? Or would you like it?”

A hypothetical situation, a little bit of control by me and a little bit of dominance. To be honest the short paragraph made me instantly wet. But I had to ignore the throbbing. The moment I hit ‘send’ I got up and walked down my cube row, over to her aisle and then I stood there quietly as she read my words. So engrossed that she didn’t see me there right away. I watched her lips part and her face flush to pink. A good sign. As she looked up and noticed me, she blushed a furious red throughout her face and chest.

“Oh I can wait, don’t let me interrupt you, go ahead and finish off your email there” I said nonchalantly as if I were there to just ask her a silly work question. But the hard look on my face told her that she best not argue with me, she should indeed answer that email.

She typed away for a minute, casting quick sidelong glances at me as she did so. When she finished I kept up the ruse and asked her a silly work question. I walked back to my desk and went straight for the email.

“Would I do it? Yes.

Would I hand them over? I hesitantly say Yes.

Would I fight you? The shock of it would take me by surprise and the fact that someone could walk in at any second would cause me to fight it at first. Would I like it? Again, a hesitant ‘yes’. Even as you are standing over me right now trying to embarrass me, I know deep down I’d like it no matter how it appeared on the outside.”


Just the answers I wanted to hear.

{Thank you Muse Mina, you were a big help and a good bit of inspiration for this piece}