Apr 072009

It seems that my dominant side is never the most prevalent. But when it does come out to play….I feel ruthless. Bitch extraordinaire. I have not had any experience dominating a woman be it in person or virtually, but I’ve already discussed (here and with others) my desire to do so.

I also must point out that I’ve never been much of a fan of the humiliation aspect of D/s, either receiving or doling out. Something more sinister, however, has popped up inside of me lately and I am finding myself aroused by the strangest things. A few weeks ago, at a meeting at work for our new unit assignments, the group was asked to do the school-classroom bullshit of “stand up and tell us about yourself”. Let it be known that I hate this. I am not comfortable speaking in front of people, even in such a casual setting. So I felt for this girl, I really did. She appears to be younger than me; pretty in a cute and “I’m trying to look cool” way. Perhaps someone I might be friends with. From my vantage point behind her and to her right, I was able to glance at her occasionally. When she stood up to speak each time, I noticed that she blushed furiously. She did not stammer, she did not show any other outward signs of feeling awkward. But I thought that the blushing was very cute. I think, partly, because at first glance her body language, style, etc was more “I’m cooler than you and this is all so lame” – but oh, what do we have here….vulnerability. Shyness.

I have read erotica- male narrator, shy and blushing female subject – of the similar nature. The man is dominating, domineering, pushy and delighting in her awkwardness. Aware that beneath the fear and nervousness lies arousal. I did not want to be in the shoes of the female, no, I think I more wanted to be the aggressor.

In my past fantasies of dominating a woman, I was never alone. It was a threesome. Perhaps a shared toy between a dominant and I. Perhaps a shared toy between a submissive man and I. But always, he was involved. I might have had the reigns of control but he was active in it. The fantasy has changed, morphed or perhaps I just have another one. He doesn’t participate. Instead, he watches passively. An audience. Another element to heighten her embarrassment and shyness.

I’ll be ruthless, while the one who trained me watches with pride. I will show her precious size 6 little ass no fucking mercy. As she is bent in half in a standing-hogtied sort of way, her cunt is bared to me like a split peach. I can easily go from inflicting pain on her ass to her cunt.

But no….that only satisfies part of my desire. I wanna make her squirm. Blush. Cry. I want to break her.

I don’t want a slut who’s at ease with her sexuality. I don’t want a whore who’s been around this block a time or two. I want a girl who cringes when sex words roll off her tongue. I want to make her say cunt and clit and suck and nipple and fuck and I want her to blush while she says this stuff. Tease her with these words and the pain (the bittersweet raw pain) and the begging until she’s crying.

She enjoys it though. Beneath the blushing and the cringing and the crying and the whimpering and the pink-red skin from my slapping and flogging she is dripping wet and aroused beyond belief. And that’s why I’ll love it, that’s what will fuel me to dig deeper. Before I break her, before she’ll full-on beg to come all over my hand, I’ll torture her. I’ll have to. Leave her at the edge of her orgasm…..make her watch me get fucked (and loving it) from my Dom. Taunt her with my orgasm. It’s going to be hard for her to watch, her instinct will be to turn her head but I won’t let her.

I want to watch the boiling point of her arousal and humiliation come to a head and erupt. At my command, at my hand. I want to break her…..and laugh at her misery. An evil giggle, a demeaning chuckle.

I’ve got a few things/issues/grievances/hurts of late that I need to take out on some poor girl. I just need to find a suitable one. Now accepting applications….

Mar 142009

As I review more sex toys, I’m learning some things about myself, toys and the sex toy industry.

1. Every woman is different. Our cunts are different. Every aspect is different. But just like the media is pushing that a size 2 is ideal these days, it seems that sextoy manufacturers are trying to tell me that my cunt is built wrong. I certainly feel that way!! I just got the Rock Chick today, a highly recommended toy by many other reviewers…..only to figure out in 10 minutes flat that it simply will NOT work with a cunt built like mine.
Like what? Well, my outer labia are fuller than average. Perhaps because I’m not skinny? Dunno. My clit is the size of Hello Kitty’s nose (thanks VaginaDrum) and it requires a fuckin map for new partners to find it. Even a seasoned partner has trouble! When it comes to sex toys like….dual stimulators…..Remote hands-free “butterfly” vibes….. These are meant for women who’s outer labia is not as full and their clits peek out to say hello world!
It seems to me that “the way I’m built” isn’t normal. At least that’s what porn models and the sex toy industry are leading me to believe.

2. My vagina is an F student in Braille. I see so many dildos that are touting how “realistic” they look, and have veins for added sensation. Or any of the countless non-penis-replica vibrators and dildos that have raised swirlies and bumps and ridges. I just can’t tell. I’m tight, but perhaps just not as sensitive. Since when did my girlie bits need to learn Braille just to get off??

3. Just because you pay over $50 for a toy, don’t expect it to be glorious. I’m not saying to stop buying them. But I’m not guaranteeing greatness. I’ve got numerous pricey toys I’ve reviewed that, had I purchased them, I would be pretty ticked off at their lack of oomph or single-minded design. We-Vibe. Doc Johnson I-Rabbit thingiemabobber. Even some of the Lelo toys I’m finding myself disappointed in their lack of power. Is it because they’re rechargeable? I’m not sure.
Most cheap-shit toys I, understandably, end up disappointed with as well. Tonight I got this bullet vibe from the lovely ladies at sextoy.com. At first I’m practically shouting from the rooftops my love for it! It’s -powerful-!!! Finally!!! But then, quickly, I find a defect. When I turn it on….it’s not turning on. I hafta shake the egg. Sometimes though it’s just fine. I’m still trying to determine if this is a singular defect, or the product as a whole. (I see now that it’s a wire issue. Gonna try a dab of superglue somewhere)

4. I’m learning that there are many of you who love my writing as much as my tits. I’m also learning that there’s many of you just here for the tits. So be it. But I have to wonder sometimes….what would happen if I pulled all my pics? What would happen if I never posted a nude photo again? Would my readership and commentors drop off like mayfly’s? (so help me – if you comment and cry out “nooo!!! don’t take away the noodz!!” I’ll slap you. I really will.)

5. I am learning that I’m part hermit, part social butterfly. What does that mean? I crave conversation, I’m in love with Twitter because it’s sometimes like a big ole chatroom. I’ve been up too late a few times lately just chatting around with a bunch of us in the same “circle” (we all follow each other) and having fun. Conversely, because my updates are private, people have to request to follow me. I’ve been denying most people lately. I look at them suspiciously, wonder why they want to follow. Perhaps to just have “another number”. I have over 200 followers of my twitter stream, and more than half never say boo.

That’s all I’ll bore you with tonight. Honestly I’d be shocked if most of you read the whole thing. Skimmed it, perhaps. I should put some sort of code in the posts that tell you something cool like….I’m giving away a $20 Babeland giftcard soon, or something. Hidden words that, if you read it all, will stick out to tell you that secret message.

Nah. I’m too lazy. And I need to visit more websites that will tell me that my cunt is built all wrong.

Mar 122009

I discovered not too long ago that if I’m on my knees on the floor behind my desk, most people that walk by won’t even see me. Not unless they stand at my counter or come around behind my desk to get something. If they do notice me I can use the pretense of untangling the cords under my desk.

Being down there allows me to shove one or both hands down inside pants and panties to spread my cunt and gyrate the vibe against my clit in just that right way so that I go crashing over the edge of orgasm.

It also dirties up my knees and sometimes musses my hair.

Out of the sheer blue a switch somewhere is flicked and he orders me to the restroom to insert my toys.

I was so shocked that I spoke out of turn. “Do you have any idea how much work I have to do today??”

“I’m sorry…… did I ask how much work you have? And who the fuck said I was going to let you come you presumptuous whore? Now go do it.”

Off I went but with no warm-up I was not wet. Lube is not something I usually need and so it is not in my naughty pouch at work. And that large wooden dildo is just not going in in my current state. I sat there in the corner stall and thought for a minute. The dildo went into my mouth where I provided enough lubrication to ease it inside of me. Bullet in place next. When I got back to my desk I had to make a conscious effort to sit down carefully, gingerly, with that 1″ of hard wooden dildo sticking out of my cunt.

Five times this whore was on the floor for her Master.


Count ’em:


10:41 am marks the first orgasm. Preceded by nothing special, in fact we were both too busy for much of an exchange. Two minutes after he ordered me to turn the bullet on high I begged to come. On my knees, my hands shoved down my open jeans. Fingers prying apart my lips to expose my clit as much as possible. My forehead resting against the edge of my desk I feel the rush of tingles and the calm before the storm and then my cunt pulses and my body jerks a little.


11:10 am marks the second orgasm. Preceded by a whole bunch of filthy words and degrading virtual submission before he orders me to come. Name calling and, were he in front of me, there would be a dark deviant glint in his eyes. I try to do it in my chair but I need the cover of privacy a bit. Down I slid with one hand shoving the hard dildo more firmly to my g-spot and the other gripping the bullet to the sweet spot. My chin resting on the edge of my desk this time as I allowed my eyes to flutter closed for 2 seconds as the rush washed over me.


11:58 am marks the third orgasm. Again preceded by nothing special. Just a build-up of sensation overload and the desire to kick things over the edge. Sometimes a gal can only handle that climb for so long. I begged for this one again, to come before lunch rather than shutting the vibrator off entirely. While we parted ways during lunch hour I scurried off to the restroom to snap a requested photo for him. The moment he comes back he decides that I have it in me to give him four orgasms today. Vibrator back on.


1:44 pm marks the fourth orgasm. Preceded by the hottest most erotic scenario anyone has ever painted for me before. While I crave a firm hand around my throat in the D/s dynamic, I’d never considered breath-play before. It is now in the list of “must do” with him. His words and commands pushed me over the edge this time but I still felt the need to continue tradition and be on my knees for him. Where I belonged.


2:50 pm marks the fifth and final orgasm. Preceded by another breathplay fantasy which was preceded by a trip to the restroom to fuck myself hard with the dildo. I knew I needed his hands on my throat when I see him in reality, but this pushes that for me. This last fantasy and orgasm had my heart racing and I swear I nearly saw stars from the extremity of it all. Soon after he sent me off to the restroom to remove everything, but first I was to fuck myself with that dildo again. You’ll read about that side of it soon.



Jan 052009

Every piece of furniture is occupied. Most of the couches contain two couples. There is a makeshift bed in the middle of the open space. There are a few rooms with doors for those shy couples needing some privacy from prying eyes, but prying ears can hear everything.

Some are watching. Some are being watched. Some are doing both – watching others and giving a show. It is a visual feast before us, a hedonistic dream.

We are sharing a couch with another couple. They are relentlessly devouring each other, as if sating a hundred year hunger. The heat and scent of her arousal is nearly overwhelming me, is also feeding my own arousal. We are both half-dressed; he wearing nothing but his khaki pants (commando, of course) and I in nothing but a full skirt and my bra. In between deep kisses, in between pinches to my nipple and my hand gripping his cock, in between wandering caressing hands and tongues…. we watch. It is difficult to tear my eyes from the couple sharing the couch with us, but I need to see everything. I hear moans and screams, sighs and grunts of pleasure; skin against skin sounds and wet, slippery sounds.

That woman over there, wantonly deep-throating that man’s cock; she is taking her time, making him groan as his eyes roll back in his head in pleasure. My breath catches as I glimpse two pale, very naked women on the floor; kneeling, kissing each other with no regard to their surroundings. The larger woman of the two seem to be in control, her hand in between them, fingering the other girls cunt. As I watch, I feel the strong pull of longing to be either one of them.

I look up at the man I came with and see that he is watching the same women; he glances at me and smiles knowingly.

The most erotic scene is happening on the mound of pillows and blankets there in the center of the room. 3 women and 2 men, everyone latched on to someone else’s body part. Everyone getting or receiving pleasure, a few are fully occupied in both areas. A part of me aches to join them. Literally, aches. My wetness is coating my thighs, my breathing is ragged and I can feel the flush of arousal spreading. I need release right now as much as I need air to breathe. He pulls me to my feet so that I am standing in front of him and he stares at my body while his hands skip over me. He removes my bra and unzips my skirt, it falls in a puddle at my feet. I soon realize that the couple sharing the couch is staring at me as well. My cunt twitches in anticipation of what he’ll do to me in front of these people.

“Turn around. Face away from me and bend over and grab your ankles”

I pause for a split second as I realize what this position does to me.

I feel his fingers trail lightly down my ass and trace my swollen lips. I am so achingly aroused and wet that he has no resistance at all when he plunges three fingers deep into my cunt. Thankfully his hand is holding my hip, for I nearly lost my balance as my knees weakened with the rush of pleasure. Just as abruptly as he entered, he pulls away. And then I feel the heat of the first loud smack to my ass. Things are hazy for a moment and the next thing I know, two strong hands are around my arms, pulling me up. A hard cock is right in my face, and it’s not his. I don’t care. As he continues to alternate between fingering me and spanking me, I take out my oral fixation on the man in front of me. I won’t need much….I push my ass towards him, a silent beg for mercy. Mercy in the form of orgasm. Finally…..with his fingers assaulting my clit and my mouth firmly wrapped around another man’s cock, I feel it beginnning. I feel the tingle and rush of sensation go down through my body and release through my cunt. I can barely stand up as the orgasm claims me. Before it is over, I feel his cock being buried to the hilt inside of me. Two cocks are really all that are keeping my body afloat.


A big thank you to Naughty Secretary for giving me advice when I was stuck with this piece, and the nudgings to finish it up.

Dec 212008

We lay, presumably asleep, in the dark room. Side by side, intimately close, bare skin brushing bare skin as we turn and toss in slumber. We never bothered to dress for sleep. Too exhausted from hours of debauchery in this room to care about something as silly as clothing for sleep. The room is mostly quiet save for the low hum of the fan. I wake once again but this time my ears catch a sound. A wet sound. Remaining still so as to not disturb, I open my eyes and look for the source of the erotic sound. I then notice the faint sensation of her right arm moving slightly against my left arm.

She has pushed the sheet down her body. I can see her pale skin in the dark – and I see her hand on her pussy as she fingers her clit. She makes no sound but for jagged breathing. Immediately I am wet, my cunt tingly and throbbing with arousal. I turn my head to look at her face and I let my fingers move against her so that she will realize I am awake. Our sleepy eyes meet but she does not stop what she’s doing.

My mouth craves skin and I dip my head to her shoulder. A kiss. A gentle bite. More…My lips travel to her nipple. A kiss. A not-so gentle bite. My own fingers trail down to relieve the ache, dip into dripping wetness. Not enough……not enough. I quietly push the sheet away from me as I reach for the bottle of lube.  I squirt a large amount on to my palm and then unceremoniously smear it on her upper thigh. I straddle her thigh and start to firmly grind my pussy against her. She pauses only to change hands, and I grab her now-free right hand and bring her soaked fingers to my lips to clean her off. She pulls free from my mouth after a minute and trails her slick fingers down my breast, finally to my nipple – she grabs it. Pulls.

It is the low moan elicited from that action that causes him to stir from the other side of the bed.

Through a sleepy haze he watches. I yank the sheet off his body entirely and watch his cock quickly harden. My right hand still slippery from lube, I wrap it around his cock with a firm grip as I stroke. He lays propped up on his side to watch us.

Her left hand rubbing her pussy. Her right hand tugging my nipple. I am now grinding my clit so hard on her thigh that I briefly wonder if I am hurting her, but I don’t quite care. She is first to orgasm. As I grind against her, and watch her body jerk in spasms, I am entranced. In short order I feel my own rolling forth. I reserve some concentration for his cock, never wavering in my ministrations. He watches us and while he seems passive, I see his eyes close in pleasure for brief seconds. He let us have our moment with each other, but I am ever mindful of my place. For as much as she is my (our) toy to use for tonight, I am His to use and I don’t  forget that. Not in this moment, not ever.

As she and I come down from our orgasms, trying to catch our breath, I feel his cock expand and hear him groan. No, I never forgot myself, and had kept up a mostly steady rhythm. Faster now, to push him over the edge; both hands slickly sliding over his cock. He comes all over us both. Not much by this time around but enough.

He yanks me off of her and towards him, while she moves over to my old position in bed. He kisses me – at first rough and claiming, then tender and sleepy. He bites my bottom lip; there is an intimate pause between us before he whispers my instructions.

“Clean each other up and then get to sleep, dammit. It’s 4 a.m.; we have a long day ahead of us and I’m tired.”

I just smile to myself and say “Yes, Sir”.

Dec 072008


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I am face down, modified doggy-style. My forehead presses to the mattress as he roughly fucks me from behind. My ass pointed up, I’m on my knees and my feet are pointing skyward. He uses the heels as handles. He holds them, holding me apart, keeping me stationary – for his use.

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For being as femme as I am, I have a confession:

I don’t wear sexy shoes.

I know I know, it ruined a little bit of the fantasy for ya huh? Yeah…Trust me I really WANT to wear sexy shoes. Really, I do. I have a condition that affects the tendons that run the bottom of my feet, and so being on my feet after a few hours even in the most comfortable shoes renders me in severe pain. Plus my front is wide, my heel is narrow, and my arch is partially fallen. LOL, man I’m a mess huh??

For the NYC-sexblogger party though, I felt this need for sexy shoes. I was in NYC, at a party, with an ass-ton of sexy beautiful women!! Of course I had to have better shoes! I tried and tried, but I just couldn’t pull off heels. I got a great pair but after a mere 15 minutes standing in them at home, I was in agony. Probably because I never wear anything with a heel! But then I found these hot pointy-toed flats that looked amazing. The color is truly perfect for me – glossy deep blood red. The perfect accent color to my mainstay of black clothing. And despite the fact that my feet were still in agony after a few hours and they don’t have a very long lifespan, they made me feel sexier wearing them. I’ve worn them out and about occasionally. Natt sweetly asked for a photo of my hot shoes, and you know I like to comply to such requests ;) I took a half dozen or so and emailed them off prior to this post writing itself.


You might want to click, see if there’s another vantage point of these shoes…


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I am on my back, legs bent and my shod feet planted on the bed. Legs spread wide open, ready for him to feast. As he lays down on his stomach his hands go to my shoes but he does nothing. Just keeps his hands on the pointy heels. The reason is apparent as I finally reach a screaming orgasm and my legs begin to instinctively close – he has not stopped lavishing me and for the first brief moments it is painfully, exquisitely sensitive. His grip on my shoes helps to keep my legs apart, his access still granted.

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Someone in my recent sexual past waxed poetic one day about his great love for a woman wearing her heels and nothing else in bed during sex. I didn’t get it then.

Now, I do.

It’s like an accessory. With purpose.


I found some that really get me going…..



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Again, I am on my back. But this time my shoes are my power. I plant my foot on his chest, the heel gently pressing into his flesh. He is on his knees and I instruct him to enter me – but just barely. Just the tip of his cock is allowed into my cunt. I slide my foot down a little bit until my heel is pressing into his stomach. Then into his lower abs an inch or two above the base of his cock. I move my pelvis just slightly…..the barest hint of friction to his cock. A whisper more of penetration. My eyes strip him away, my fingers drag over my lips, my breasts, my nipples. The look of sexual torment clouds his features….and he tries to fuck me imperceptibly – but I press the heel of my shoe into his abs. Firmly. The pain keeps him at bay, keeps him motionless as I still say nothing. Finally I drag my foot up, first one then the other until my ankles are resting on his shoulders. I cradle his head with my feet and pull him in to me….and he gasps as his cock finally gets buried to the hilt in silky hot wetness.

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