Aug 232010

My husband and I travel to a place on Maryland’s Eastern Shore nearly every year. We’ve been going there now for something like 11 or 12 years. It started out as my “birthday present” trip, we’d go right around my birthday. Since we were staying at a place owned by his parents, we were able to spend more on dinners out than we normally could. After all, the seafood there is half the reason we go! Yum, blue crab! In our old life, these yearly 3-6 day vacations there became our beacon of hope – our escape from a life in a town we hated, with jobs we hated, in living situations we hated. The town we stay in is catered to people a little higher class than my family grew up as, but he was accustomed to it. I loved it while at the same time felt a little out of place.

So one night a few years ago, we had driven over to a town a few miles down to watch the sun set on the tiny bit of beach there. It’s about 20 miles to get from our spot on our little “finger” of land that pokes into the bay, to the other town and other finger. On the drive back, I can’t recall who was driving but my hands started wandering. Soon we were driving past rich homes filled with proper people while his cock was out and I was giving him a very teasing handjob. We both got so worked up that, a mere 4 miles from where we called home that week, I decided to pull over and take things up a notch.

I pulled into the parking lot of a store we’d never been in; the store, as most things there, closed before sunset. I chose that parking lot and that store because there were no parking lot lights. Of course it WAS pretty darn close to the road. Close enough that people driving by would likely be able to see us sitting there…….or rather, him sitting (I’m remembering now that I’d been driving) in the passenger seat and… one in the drivers seat, in the parking lot of a store that was closed. And this road was by no means less-traveled.

In the dark, in the car, in the parking lot of a somewhat posh store, he got a fantastic blowjob as uptight conservatives drove past us.

The next year when we came back to town for our annual vacation, we noticed that the posh store had done something we’d never seen in the 6 or so prior years. They’d enclosed their parking lot in a chains – n – fence post sort of thing with chains preventing anybody from entering their parking lot after hours.


It was then that we realized they likely have security cameras outside their store, since a number of heavy/large garden accessories for sale sat outside their walls.

Every year we go back down there for vacations, and every single time we pass that store (which is usually multiple times during a trip, since it must be passed everytime we leave the town) my husband sighs contentedly, smiles and gets a little rush of memory of that risque blowjob in the parking lot.

Apr 222010

Am I fixated on things simply because I cannot have them?

I have found that in the last year or so, I’m not much interested in most men. It takes a *lot* for me to have an interest in a man (perhaps because I’m still comparing, and most are still falling short). Even then, that interest seems to want to stay firmly online. Oh sure my cunt might have some opinions and want to sate the need but then we will both just get disappointed because casual sex is just not satisfactory to me or my cunt.

In porn, both video and photo, I have little interest in the men. It’s the women who get my full attention, who arouse me. I seek them out. I flick past hetero couplings, bored. Blow jobs? Meh. Oh wait, close-up of her pussy? Her coming? Ok I’ll watch now. The only thing that interests me would be group encounters because I think that’s hot and I haven’t had much of it.

Oh and I do not like “porn” porn. I like homemade “amateur” porn. I don’t want paid actors even if it’s the alt/indie stuff and the orgasms are real. No I want the stuff that makes me feel like a fly on the wall. Female solos I love. Girly sex looooove. Exhibitionism/outdoor sex I love even if it is hetero, bc that’s my kink.

On one of my amateur pic sites I came across a link to something called Dare Dorm. It’s this site where college kids are urged to send in their sex tapes for a chance to win like 10 grand. That’s a fuck of a lot of beer and weed money, my friends. Now, granted, you’re going to get some annoying stereotypes. But there’s also some gems of true hedonism. Some tentative “for the camera” girl-on-girl that soon turns to “the real thing”. In one, the foreground girl couple are decent and one’s fucking the other (albeit a little blandly) with a glass dildo but it’s the background girl couple that put me over the edge……they’re lounging back there just watching their two friends get it on, watching the girl climbing to orgasm and their arousal takes them to each other. You can see both the foreground girls and the background. The background girls start out with some kisses and progress to more.

Where the fuck were girls like this when *I* was in college?!?!?! I knew I shoulda stuck around longer and gone against my better judgment to join a sorority *sigh*

In another video, my favorite actually, a drunken “suds rave” (mini, like 8 people) turns to kinda-sorta-orgy. In the bunkbed you’ve got couple A going at it the whole time on the bottom bed while couples B and C shake the bed from the top. It’s the top bunk who I loved watching because of the one girl. Sadly she left her clothes on the whole time, just shoved them around instead, I really wanted to see her fully naked. Yum….

She’s vocal and passionate and the action started with the other chick going to town on her tits. yum yum yum oh yes. Brown haired chick’s orgasmic moans were what made me come eventually (fingers! just fingers!) watching her get it from a guy and a girl. I can’t wait to tag-team someone like that, know they’re being stimulated from every possible angle. Well technically I can’t wait to just devour a woman, period. It’s been too long and I need to do it properly.

Dec 232009

A post by AAG earlier in the week reminded me of my first blowjob – and man was it awkward. And actually – quite regrettable. I must confess though that I’m not sure which year of high school this occurred, junior or senior year. I know that his name was John and he lived in another school district; we caught each others eye in the Small Town Friday Night Activity of Going To The Mall. LAME! I know. But I thought he was hot. We had something resembling a lame date and then a month or so later I saw him again for my Christmas formal.

He was allowed to drive me to and from the dance, I think. But oddly we didn’t get frisky until he brought me home. He dropped me off and politely made small talk with my father and then I walked him to his car. I originally thought that my father went to bed at that point. Oh silly, silly me. John’s idea of “saying goodnight” was to lure me into his backseat for a few kisses. Or so he said. Have I mentioned how inexperienced I was yet at this age?  Ha! Pretty soon, he whipped out his cock and I hadn’t a damn clue what to do with it other than put my hand on it. Very quickly, his hand on the back of my head increased the pressure of pushing me down to his lap until he had to outright tell me what he wanted because I just wasn’t getting the hint. I do recall telling him that I’d never done that before and wasn’t sure how…..I don’t remember what he said but I felt that I shouldn’t say no, I wanted him to like me.

I couldn’t tell you anymore what I did or didn’t do. I’m pretty sure my teeth caught him once. And I do know that it didn’t last very long, certainly he didn’t come. I was scared enough of Penis; ejaculation would have made me run, I bet.

The worst part? You guessed it by now, my dad wasn’t in bed. He never said anything to me when I came back to the house, but I know he knew I was in that backseat with that boy. Oh, the shame. The shame!!

My regret stems from two facts: This boy didn’t deserve a blowjob from me, because he was a douchebag and I didn’t realize it until afterwards. He faked being grounded to get out of ever seeing me again. And of course that my father had an inkling of me being unladylike in the backseat of the car in my driveway.

I don’t think I sucked another cock until my First Real Boyfriend. Somehow with him I went from being afraid of Penis, Sex and Naked Men to becoming a slutty slut-ho in a week’s time. I fucked him inside a week of dating, and we couldn’t keep our dirty little hands off each other. But that’s a story for another time.


Hey I have another post up at EdenCafe, it’d be great to see some feedback on it :)

Sep 132009

Another Suburban Mom did a “Flawed” HNT this past week and asked others to join.

I, obviously, did not.

And why not?

Well, this confession is as much as you’ll get from me for the time being.

I couldn’t participate. I was not brave enough. And I also wouldn’t have been able to pick anything out. The truth is…..*sigh* this is hard for me to admit here. I’m afraid you’ll all think less of me. Ok here goes: I see flaws everywhere.

(god that felt like “I see dead people”)

All those who comment here are so wonderful and participating in HNT has helped me. I have been reminded by those that love me that others do not see me as I do, others are not as harsh. I am my own worst critic.

*I hate my weight. I am fat, I am obese. You do not see it all, I am not brave enough to show it each week. I hide it away. I am deeply ashamed of it. My weight contributes to many flaws, if I were not obese, they would not exist.
*But even without the weight, I’ve never had a flat belly. Always a chub there. But now with the excess weight it is my most hated spot.
*I hate my round cheeks. Even when I was thin, they were round and full. Now my whole face and neck is.
*I hate the skin around my eyes. It’s too dark, and it took me a very long time to find a decent enough makeup to cover it. I won’t leave the house without that.
*My complexion – ever since I went off hormonal birth control, I cannot control my breakouts.
*My hair – again, result of that birth control drop, I lost some right up front. You can see my scalp through it. The rest is thin and fine. Won’t hold a curl very long.
*My upper lip – lower one is great, the upper is out of proportion.
*My smile – at least when I smile “with teeth” which I only do when laughing and I try not to let it show. You don’t end up seeing much teeth and it just looks…weird. Awkward. My smile is not one that lights up a room.
*My nipples – well specifically the areola. (is that spelled right?) As my breasts grew, so did they. They’re very large. I worry that if/when I lose my excess weight and my breasts shrink, that they won’t.
*My breasts – yes, I’ll hear about this one. You all love them so. I think they’re too large, too fatty, not perky, etc. I could wear prettier bras if I were smaller.I love my cleavage, I love the full mounds of my breasts when they’re supported.
*My cunt – I feel my outter labia are too full and fat. Were they better when I was thinner? I don’t know, I didn’t masturbate much then. They hide my clit away, they hide everything.
*My inner thighs – well, I won’t even say on here after all these confessions why I hate them but I suspect it’s a result of my weight.

I fake it sometimes, my confidence. Sometimes I feel sexy. But then sometimes I really don’t. Sometimes I want to cry when I look in the mirror at my naked self, or see the HNT reject photos that show me looking humongous. And sometimes I do cry. Sometimes I wish for a magical knife to slice it all off. Sometimes I feel like a fraud, with the photos I post.

I really do. But I’m too cowardly to show the flaws. And it makes me a bad person.


Jul 262009

She will occasionally send me photos. Sexy photos. Cute photos. Beautiful photos.

But it is her husband that will send me the naughty photos. The downright dirty photos. The pervy photos.

Her husband will send me life-size close-up photos of her beautiful cunt and it makes my own cunt ache. It makes my tongue and lips ache to be on her. (It made me wet and it made me come hard)

Her husband will invite me to watch them over webcam, naked and beautiful.

While she is my friend and we are vocally mutually interested in each other, it is her husband that indulges the horny pervert in me.

Will I whisper in her husband’s ear, in the noisy bar, “Does your wife want to kiss me?”

Will I ask her husband, before I check for myself, “Is your wife wearing any panties?”

While her husband watches guard, I will sneak my hand up under her skirt and tease her clit while we’re surrounded by people.

While her husband kisses her neck, I will kiss her lips.

Before my lips assault her naked body, I will ask her husband what she likes. I will ask him to show me how.

Before I fuck her with one of the toys they have, I will ask her husband to guide my hand. To show me how deep and how fast and how hard.

Can you tell I’m anxious to meet my beautiful, sexy friend……and her husband?

Jul 252009

One of my earliest sexual fantasies that I can remember didn’t involve me doing anything directly with anyone else. In high school I really did have limited sexual experience past the requisite making out. Nothing major happened until my junior year and it was a fumbled poor attempt at sucking the cock of an asshole in the backseat of his car. I didn’t fully bloom until my first sexual relationship with a boy in the spring of my senior year. Before that, to be quite frank, sex and hard cocks and horny teenage boys really intimidated the hell out of me.

But I was still curious, albeit from a distance.

My parents owned an RV. Nothing fancy, nothing brand-new, but it served its purposes for the long traveling vacations they were fond of. There was the traditional double-bed sized sleeping loft above the drivers cabin. There was a full sized bed in the back, taking up one side of the rear of the RV.

Despite my limited knowledge of sex I knew that kids my age couldn’t really freely have sex wherever they wanted in their parents houses or even elsewhere. So my fantasy was to run a sex-mobile. A pay-by-the-hour motel room on wheels. Under cover of night, innocently driving and revealing nothing suspicious to the outside world. But inside…..I’d be treated with aural and visual teasing stolen peeks of the naked couple in the back bed of the RV. More elaborate fantasies had me rigging up secret hidden cameras to better view the debauchery.

Since I didn’t know how to orgasm or even where my clitoris was, at that age, I’m not sure why I tortured myself so much with these elaborate imaginative fantasies but I do at least recall that these aroused me greatly.

As I recall this set of fantasies now, the glaring differences between my generation and the current generation of high school kids are clear as day. I did not grow up in a small town, I was not friendly only with shy repressed wallflowers, and I had plenty of short-lived boyfriends. But the rampant sex lives of teenagers today is at once troubling and enviable. While I think I started making up for “lost time” with that senior year boyfriend and subsequent college romps, I still missed out on a lot of fun in the time period when I looked my best and was my most confident self.