Jan 292013

As the dining room table cleared slowly of all the many sex toys piled on it for organizing, little by little things were left behind. The bowls that held tiny clit toys and bag balls soon just held the balls. A dildo ended up in the second bowl and then we thought to combine them like…


I don’t even know like what.  But it would make a great conversation piece during dinner! With the right people of course. Maybe.

But in the filtered morning light it looked more artistic. I think. Or I’m on crack.

The Tantus O2 Cush surrounded by various Luna Beads

The Tantus O2 Cush surrounded by various Luna Beads





Toy with me Tuesday
 Posted by at 1:59 pm
Dec 142012

After 3 years, I’ve decided to hang up my hat on e[lust]. Oddly enough, it’s an idea I kicked around once or twice last year as well but I came to the decision in less than an hour last month. As I realized it would soon be time for another round to start up I had no choice but to recognize the strong avoidance and lack of fucks to give. Quite simply…..I had been drained dry. And like a lightbulb turning on I just simply knew it was time for me to walk away.

While there were numerous months where I couldn’t get enough help from my band of volunteers, and every month some one or two would disappear when duties arouse, overall the willingness of my helpers was an experience good for the soul. I suppose that in a way it’s sad when you’re so surprised and grateful for people volunteering their time (I think it’s being American that makes me feel that way, it seems we’re more of a “mind your own business, walk on by the person getting mugged” mentality) but I swear multiple times I’d about given up on this corner of the blogging world but my faith was restored time and again by my helpers.

And yet despite getting down a streamlined schedule and a great core group of people…..I’d already grown to dislike my “job” and it truly did feel like a job more often than not. Which it really shouldn’t. At the very heart of the matter I loved providing this for bloggers, old and new. I was thrilled for them when I would hear how their traffic increased, when people would praise new-found blogs located via e[lust]. But on the large scale, the bits of bad seemed to nearly outweigh the shining good. Don’t get me wrong though, I’ve met some truly wonderful bloggers through this and found special people who went out of their way to help.

I had a couple of paragraphs here talking about why exactly e[lust] was not a happy party for me a lot of the time and there were more than a couple lamentations and rants….but moments before publishing, I realized that there is absolutely no point in talking about any of that. Why whine and bring shit down? It won’t fix anything, I’m already done.

I suspect that as I bow out of projects, I’m also going to be backing out more and more from blogging. I didn’t think I could ever foresee a future without all of you, but it may turn out that way by this time next year…who knows. I’ve slowly ended projects…first Wanton Wednesday and now e[lust]. I’m barely involved with Sex Blogger Co-Op and Toyswap anymore, I assume they’re carrying on as well as can be expected and unless participation drops to “barely any” I see no reason to end those. 

I had really hoped (assumed?) that my final edition (and possibly the final final edition, as the future has not been fully decided) would go out with more of a bang….with a bigger surge in participation. The only participation surge that I saw was a lot of my volunteers agreeing to help. For them, I am forever grateful. I always did my best to show my appreciation for my volunteers with a link on the homepage, but this is where I feel the need to recognize a few of the stand-outs who truly went above and beyond. Curvaceous Dee, I think, would win the award for “most editions helped with”. She was such a star. Thank you, Dee!!! Others who have helped a huge amount were David, Mistress Kay, Lady Evyl, Hubman and  I really have to credit Molly for the idea of “everything happens on the same date each month”, for this years smooth schedule.

I’m thrilled to have worked with you all (despite the fact that e[lust] seemed to have cemented my status as a crotchety old bitch, haha), to have done something that was needed and I hope that e[lust] will find a way to continue on without me. I will indeed update everyone if the site is turned over to someone else to run, as soon as it is official.

Good night, and good luck.

 Posted by at 10:20 am
Jul 182012

My affiliate/reviewer relationship with Babeland has been….rocky. Years ago when I first started, things were different in many aspects – not just with Babeland’s practices but with reviewing altogether. I will always be grateful to Babeland for providing me with my favorite dildo to date, the Pure Wand, but the time has come to completely and officially part ways.

Many things have changed for sex bloggers since I started 4 years ago. Two of the biggest changes have happened this year. The first is that many advertisers have pulled out, because of the way Google treats links. They pretty much want links inside posts (this may lead to me doing “sponsored posts” more). The second change is that a number of sites have halted their reviewer program. All have said that the change is temporary, but I must admit that none have ever been my favorite places to review for. Goodvibes, MyPleasure and Babeland have all halted temporarily. This isn’t good for me as an affiliate, but as I said I’ve never really reviewed for them consistently to begin with. I had started to rebuild my reviewing relationship with Babeland though…….unfortunately my decision came just as they were laying off people in various internal positions, leading to our reviewer coordinator being severely overworked and then eventually even she was gone. We were all left hanging in the wind, feeling very uncertain as to what the heck was going to happen with Babeland.

So just as I was beginning to forge a relationship beneficial to us both….they yank the program. This was already after a huge change at the Babeland website a few months ago which led to a lot of links being broken. But then Babeland had to go and twist the screws again. All affiliates were notified recently that we had 15 days to sign up for a new affiliate management program called PepperJam and then change all of our links before the end of July. Like we don’t have better things to do. To them, though, affiliates and reviewers are not thought of in the same sentence because it was clear they expected us all to only have a couple links to change. I don’t think it occured to them that some people have been actively reviewing for them for a few years and had tons of links. The response? “Oh, don’t worry about anything older, just go back a few months”.


Sure, no worries for you maybe but what about us? It doesn’t look good to our readers OR Google when there are so many broken links, plus we’d lose out on potential sales.

The nail in the coffin for me though was catching a glimpse of what our new affiliate links would look like.  The old style was simply tacking on a ?kbid=971 to any Babeland link. This allowed for complete transparency and for my readers to know where my links were taking them. Now, however, the links look something like this: http://www.gopjn.com/t/Qj5HQkhFPklIR0VEPkdCSEU?url=http%3A%2F%2F (and that’s just half of it!!!). Upon seeing this my answer was a prompt:

(Click to gif-ify)

Despite the assurances that major retailers use affiliate links like this, I don’t care. I know what *I* would and would not click on and I know that many of my readers would be suspicious, too. We like transparency. We like to be sure that we’re not clicking spammy spam.

The Babeland that I once knew back in 2008/2009 has slowly gone downhill but this year it’s like a snowball. I just can’t support them anymore, and so you will not be seeing links to them anymore and I won’t be listing them as a trusted retailer.


ETA: 8/2/2012 – After making everyone scramble to change their links, Babeland announces suddenly yesterday that they’re completely doing away with the review program. There had been a lot of vague talks and foreshadowing that was making us think that the review program would most likely be brought back and, sooner than later. As if the situation didn’t already stink worse than rotten fish served on a bed of unrinsed Miracle Noodles, they couldn’t even admit to affiliates that the review program (which was the only reason many were sticking around) was to be tanked. Because unless you spend lots of time linking to and talking about products without doing reviews, you’re never going to make much from an affiliate program if there is no review program to go hand in hand. I’m betting that everyone who once reviewed for Babeland is most definitely jumping ship at this point.

Rubbing salt in the wounds is that fact that those of us (me included) who signed up with PepperJam before deciding to cut ties are receiving all sorts of spammy, annoying emails many of which have absolutely nothing to do with Babeland. When some have asked to have their PepperJam account deleted the answer is “Sorry, you can’t”.

W. T. F.

 Posted by at 5:45 pm
May 132012

I love that Rafflecopter makes entering contests and having contests so easy. It’s really a lot less of a headache! Of course, in fairness to all, manual verification of entries still needs to happen to be sure that everybody followed all of my rules and restrictions but I was able to do that as things went along for the most part.

After a lovely run and lots of entries, I’m pleased to announce that the winner is……



Penny, who writes the blog “A Penny for Your Dirty Thoughts”!


Congrats Penny! She really spread the word about sex toy safety – her Twitter posts, Tumblr posts and even a great blog post about sex toy safety!

 Posted by at 10:37 am
May 082012

Please allow this old lady a bit of self-involved moping and grumping for a mo’, would ya?

Last year’s birthday REALLY sucked. Perhaps this year’s birthday won’t suck so badly because I’m aware that it will suck in advance and I am preparing myself for that. The asshole now-ex-friend who forgot my birthday last year is off the hook now due to being a large douchebag who I don’t speak to anymore. Husband has informed me that he will not at all be up for anything fun or even dinner out, due to very stressful workplace goings-on this month that have my poor guy so wound up that we’re both at our less-than-best lately. We’re rescheduling for an unknown date in the near-ish future, at least.

Even my birthday wish list was produced with as much effort as pulling one’s own teeth. Money would be grand, though, so if a bunch of people were to buy sex toys from my affiliate links over there in the sidebar, I’d be tickled pink! We’ve decided to save up for the down payment on a house so any job offers or projects would be lovely too.

In a few weeks I’m turning 35 and I must admit I’m not pleased with that. I can’t say anymore that I’m vaguely in my “early 30’s”. I’ll suddenly be closer to 40 than 30 by just a smidge. Age is just a number, you say? 35 is the new 25, you say? The problem is I’m most certainly feeling like I’ve not done jack shit of importance in my life, that I’ve behind the 8-ball and failing miserably.

Growing up, my birthday was usually a big deal. I guess that’s what you get when you’re an only child? I wasn’t lavished with expensive presents but I didn’t ask for anything expensive, either. I don’t think it existed! We didn’t have cell phones or computers or handheld game thingiemabobbers. WE HAD STICKS. Ok, fine, it was better than sticks. And aside from my senior prom falling on my birthday one year and half the invitees not showing up to my 16th party, birthdays as a kid were pretty good. I’d have one with friends and then one with family. God, I miss my grandmother’s cake frosting.

So yeah…I guess the reason why my birthday list is so short on tangible items is that I’m realizing I’d rather have people. I’d like to go back to the busy, love-filled birthdays of childhood. I want to spend a whole day doing fun sightseeing with my husband, something we haven’t done in ages. I’d like to feel loved and appreciated by friends and family. Are we really all too damn busy for birthdays anymore? Are we really at the level where the most we can be arsed to do is post something on someone’s Facebook wall (and only then because Facebook reminds you) and call it job well done?

(please don’t comment to wish me a happy birthday, or I will stab you)

 Posted by at 9:53 am
Apr 302012

Image courtesy of Crystal Delights

Here’s a butt plug….Happy Mother’s Day!

That’s not something I’ll ever say to my mother. But thankfully there are millions of partners and husbands and wives around the world who just might love to say that to the mother of their children! Flowers are commonly given for Mother’s Day but what do you do when you want something more sensual and sexy? I say skip the floral-scented bodywash and give her the pink Crystal Delights Atomic Rose Plug. This gorgeous, glass butt plug is handcrafted here in the US and Shellie, the owner of Crystal Delights, inspects each and every glass sex toy that goes out her door so you know that you’re getting something of high quality (did you catch my interview post with her?)

Giveaway Details:

You’ll have your choice between the clear or frosted version of the Atomic Rose Butt Plug. The contest is open to anybody in the US or Canada and you’ll talk to Crystal Delights directly to give them your personal info. Contest runs from April 30th until May 12th. The winner will be chosen on Mother’s Day (May 13th). 

Entries will be gathered using Rafflecopter. If I can’t verify your entry then it will get deleted – so if I ask for more information from you in entry details, you need to provide it for your entry to count!

Crystal Delights Plug Details:

Featuring the brand new Crystal Delights CAC Atomic Rose pink plug, available in your choice of a smooth or a frosted finish. The Atomic Rose plug is a Colors Against Cancer (CAC) Small Pink Plug adorned with a beautiful vintage glass Atomic Rose medallion from the Czech Republic. All Crystal Delights plugs include a custom made-in-the-USA bag for safe and discreet storage of your new Crystal Delights objet d’art.

Atomic Rose style pink glass butt plug from Crystal Delights

The Atomic Rose Plugs




Insertable Length






a Rafflecopter giveaway