Jan 172010

Cold, creamy, sticky, sweet, thick, white….dripping down his cock, being lapped up by my tongue, running through my fingers…

Hmm I think I’d better back this story up a few paces.

So there I was, doing a “quick” grocery trip for the “necessities” (how do these trips end up costing $80?) and I’m heading down the frozen foods aisle to the regular ice cream that my hub enjoys. When I am magnetically pulled to a case by the sight of this beautiful, jewel-toned container of frozen goodness:


I stand there, mouth agape, as if I’m staring at a beautiful woman. But no, it’s gelato and sorbetto. In what could possibly be the most ingenius packaging, ever. Clear plastic screw-cap jars. Everything else in this whole aisle is in a printed cardboard tub, except for this brand which just screams “fuck me”.

I mean, “eat me”.

Oh that’s no less provocative, either. Screw it.

I thought about it, I weighed the cost and the calories and the fat. I nearly walked away twice but only got two steps past each time. Finally I chose the Tahitian Vanilla Bean because, as kinky as I may be, I have a deep affinity for *good* vanilla bean concoctions. Had the ruby-red sorbetto been my beloved Strawberry instead of Raspberry, I’d have picked that instead. And so fate sent home a pint of Tahitian Vanilla Bean Gelato with me. It called to me from the trunk. It whispered my name as we took the bags inside. Finally I gave in before hub could even finish putting away the remaining groceries; I cracked it open, dug my spoon in and was rewarded with this sweet, heavenly explosion of perfect, pungent vanilla beans. Quite possibly the best vanilla bean ice cream / gelato / white stuff to ever pass between my lips. My eyes closed in ecstasy and my moans halted my husband to whom I handed off a spoonful. He was duly impressed as well. We stood there sharing spoonfuls and trying to remember what dinner was supposed to be and if we could just have this, instead.

It served to be a good dessert.

Dinner ended with me sitting in my undies, eating gelato in sheer bliss. My husband got aroused watching me lick and slurp my spoon and somehow I ended up on my knees in front of him, smearing vanilla bean gelato on to his hard cock and then licking it up. Sucking, slurping, catching the runs, cleaning it all off from the underside of his cock head. Scooping it up from the jar with my bare fingers and coating it like Plaster of Paris.

He quite enjoyed the gelato, in many ways.

In my hazy, blissed-out state I sought out the company’s website to see if they made a strawberry sorbetto. Unfortunately, they do, but I don’t think my store carries it. After nearly swooning while reading about my two favorite sorbet flavors (peach and strawberry) I honestly and truly pondered paying double the retail cost plus $30 shipping just to try some.

I didn’t do it.

But I considered it.

talenti1 talenti2

Wouldn’t you????

Jun 142009

You guys know I’m a true foodie. I don’t think I need to go into how well food and sex can mesh and the similarities between them. And no I’m not talking about having sex with food, silly.

The first time a new partner/date stays over at your place for a night of debauchery the smart thing to do to truly ensure a repeat performance (other than being good in bed, of course) is to wow them the next morning with breakfast. If you’re cooking for a woman and she tells you she can’t eat stuff like this because she’s on a diet? Either kick her out or offer up some exercise afterward. Tell her that if she goes cowgirl style she’ll burn more calories ;)

So the last few weekends I’ve provided some great morning treats. Menu 1 can be a little bit lighter and hey it’s got fruit! It takes longer overall but a lot of the time is spent waiting on things to bake. Spend that time burning some more calories! Menu 2 requires more ingredients but in the end is quicker; this menu is also great for those who can handle more food in the late morning.

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Apr 132009

I really just don’t know many people, especially of the male persuasion, that don’t like bacon. Save for the obvious of vegans, vegetarians and those whose religion won’t allow pork

You see, good bacon – real bacon-, isn’t something that you just have the time or energy to fry up most days. Especially early mornings before work. So we have the tendency to buy the pre-cooked bacon (great price from Sam’s Club) and it takes mere seconds to crisp it up. It’s just not the same. It’s almost a whole ‘nother ballpark. But we got accustomed to it until one day at IHOP I ate the glorious thick-cut bacon on my plate and about died from the rich decadence of it all. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that, and eating sub-par bacon apparently counted as absence. I swooned right in the restaurant as I ate my bacon.

This weekend, we had bacon. Thick-sliced center-cut quality bacon. Oh and steak. And onions.

hashprep sammich

I made this steak sandwich recipe I found over at SmittenKitchen (no arugula, modified dijon spread which I hated) and accompanied it with homemade home fries. The home fries were accented with some of the glorious bacon, and then the sweet onions that topped the sandwich and went into the home fries were both caramelized in the bacon grease.  Cooked the NY Strip steak in my cast iron pan. Everything was just delicious, save for that dressing/spread which I hated but he didn’t mind.

Sunday morning was baked bacon. I heard about this last week as an easy walk-away-from-it way to cook bacon perfectly. And it was, it was perfect. Cookie sheet (the kind with sides) with a cooling rack set on top, and the bacon laid out on that. Sprinkled with some black pepper, 350 degrees for about oh….30 minutes? Somewhere in there. Till it was sufficiently crispy. Served with a french toast casserole that I used King’s Hawaiian bread for – normally you prepare these french toast casseroles the night before but I didn’t have the forethought for that. It was still tasty though! A decadent breakfast AND easy because I just assembled, threw in the oven, checked occasionally, and 40 minutes later we were eating.

So if I made YOU these meals….would you reward me?