Posted by Lilly | 3 Comments

Ethical Blogging: Attribution does not equal Permission

The bane of a bloggers existence some days is the evolution of the Scraper. The Scraper is someone who has set up a website solely to garner advertisers. They have numerous sites like this and they obviously don’t have time to write their own content, so they “scrape” illegally from others. It’s only scraping, though, if they are stealing your entire post¹. Many times these scrapers have automated the process and will scrape directly from your RSS feed. I’ve added on anti-scraping plugins to WordPress which put in things such as unique keys (so that I can search for that key and find who else is using it) and copyright / anti-scrap notices in the post – they alert the reader that if they’re reading the post anywhere other than Dangerouslilly.com, it has been illegally scraped and please contact me.

Even worse, however, is when a fellow community blogger or sex toy manufacturer/retailer uses your content in entirety without permission. Some are just completely uneducated as to the rights and wrongs of blogging, but really….we all started out in the same clueless space and most of us have gotten where we are just fine without violating copyright, stealing content or plagiarizing, ever.

What is Copyright?

According to Wikipedia, copyright ‘is “the right to copy”, but also gives the copyright holder the right to be credited for the work, to determine who may adapt the work to other forms, who may perform the work, who may financially benefit from it, and other related rights.’

A few years ago when I was dealing with a site that took harassing me to a new level, which included posting my photos without my permission, claimed that all was well and fair in the copyright world simply because they had attributed the photos to me. Nope, sorry, that is not the only condition that must be met. Especially not since I have this copyright notice at the end of every post and at the bottom of my main page: “All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me”. Notice how I’ve stated that all text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere? Yeah. That’s kinda the whole key.

Permission.

Consent?

eh. fine line.

There’s an article on Sexis about bloggers and copyright – not necessarily our own copyright but talking about how we steal things. Namely, photos. Some are more guilty than others of course but the fact is, copyright violation in terms of using a photo in your post is pretty rampant. Not just sex bloggers, but any blogger. So while attribution doesn’t equal permission when you’re talking about using someone’s entire post, attribution can equal permission when you’re dealing with photos. It will simply depend on what the copyright holder allows. But if you found the image on Google because hundreds of others have used it without attribution, what can be done? The best we can do is protect ourselves with watermark copyrights on our own photos, and when we use a photo that we know actually belongs to a fellow blogger, retail store or manufacturer…..attribute it. Ask for permission if it is a blogger.

Microblogging vs Blogging

Now, here’s the rub: With the over-saturation of social media sites where you “share” stuff with your followers, you “reblog” on Tumblr, you “retweet” on Twitter…you have a blurry line of kosher sharing when it comes to blogging. When you reblog and retweet on Tumblr and Twitter respectively, you are copying what someone said and providing attribution. The line is blurred even further with Twitter, where “copyright” doesn’t really seem to exist. I mean, how can you possibly lay copyright to a Tweet? On Tumblr it’s a little different I suppose, but many people treat Tumblr as blogging. So if I posted a photo on Tumblr and nowhere else, I still retain my copyright. That photo is my intellectual property and if you post it on your own Tumblr without an attribution link, then you’ve effectively stolen content.

The fine line lays in the type of sharing. Tumblr, Twitter, Pinterest, even Facebook are all considered forms of “microblogging“; places where the “reblog” is common practice and accepted. Standard Blogging is vast and varied; we’re accustomed to WordPress-based sites, Blogger, LiveJournal, etc but there are many other places as well. Somehow, the concept of “reblogging” seems to have bled over (incorrectly) to regular blogging with the prevalence of microblogging.

Product Reviewing and Ethics

In the past I went toe-to-toe with Lelo when I noticed that suddenly they went from quoting excerpts of reviews to pilfering entire (but slightly modified to remove retailers links and in some cases, had no links to the review itself) review posts. They’d never told anyone reviewing products (given to the reviewer by Lelo) that this would be done; they never asked for permission; and in fact they did this on reviews where the product came from retailers! After raising a fuss like I am wont to do, they apologized and removed it all and now only have excerpts (with links).

I’ve noticed that niche sex toy maker Duncan Charles has been lifting entire reviews², as well, and what’s worse is that they have ignored emails. Back when I posted about Lelo, Shanna Katz commented that it had happened to her a lot over the years as well.  I was offered the chance to do reviews for Nexus and at the time I viewed their site, I noticed that they had full text of reviews with no hyperlink. They had a text-only site address, though. But I wasn’t cool with having my entire review posted so I turned them down.

Ethical Blogging Practices

~Reblogging is NOT copying someone else’s entire blog post without their permission, throwing up an attribution link and calling it well and good. I see this as copyright violation and content theft. Also, just Bad Blogging Manners.  You can quote something from my post, with an attribution and link, and that is a horse of a different color. You can share a photo I’ve posted here via Tumblr, with an attribution and link, and that’s just fine.

~Posting someone’s photo without an attribution is content theft and copyright violation. I don’t care if the click-through link goes to their blog, the attribution line  (and link) is absolutely necessary.

~Creative Commons licenses on someone’s blog does not mean you get to skirt copyright basics or do away with attribution. Creative Commons exists to allow someone the flexibility of letting people know that sharing and even revamping is fine (with attribution) but it doesn’t dissolve copyright.

~And please…don’t EVER think you’re doing someone a favor by putting their content on your site. It’s insulting, it’s copyright violation, and it will earn you a very bad reputation.

 

this post sponsored is by: EdenFantasys (What this means), the place I buy my sex toys

 

 

Tweet this!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 4 Comments

Assumptions and Asshats – That’s a lot of ass, and not in the good way

“She was asking for it, dressed like that”

It’s a common “rape apologist” statement. The women who are raped are blamed because they dared to present themselves as a sexual being. I think that sex bloggers get a little bit of this mentality from male readers. I present my sexual thoughts or even sexual photos. Once upon a time on this blog I even asked for HNT suggestions for new sexy photos. I don’t do that anymore for various reasons. In fact I’m not all that provocative or sexual, period, on this blog. That is a topic though for another post.

My irritation¹ lies with the readers who “in fun” take what I give and then demand more. In the vein of “it never hurts to ask” they claim they’re being flirtatious or really just paying me a compliment. If I wanted suggestions, I would ask for them. If I wanted to post more (quantity) photos here, then I would. If I wanted to post more revealing photos here, then I would. But the key here is that it’s whatever I want to do. If you don’t like it, if you don’t find it to be “enough”….then please, seek out what you want elsewhere. There are no shortage (thank god) of sexy sex bloggers who are more revealing, more flirtatious, more interactive than I. I’ve been at this 4 years now and perhaps this is a sign to wrap things up but nonetheless I’ll thank you to keep your assumptive asshattery to yourself.

What prompted this mini rant, you ask? Not just yet another guy² who thinks it’s ok to ask for more (even when it should be plainly obvious that I have never / not for 3 years posted anything like it) but the utter cheek of a fellow blogger, a fellow female sex blogger (I presume, given her response, I haven’t a clue what her site is) who then takes my response to the guy and makes assumptions about HER. I don’t even know this chick. I didn’t make a derogatory comment about others who might post such photos, I didn’t say “ew gross no”. I said nothing but “I don’t do that”.

My response would have been similar if someone had commented and asked “Hey that’s great, but you really should review breakfast cereal more!” to which I’d say “Um, have you read my blog, does it look like I review breakfast cereal??” Would I be slamming those who review breakfast cereal? Fuck no. Nor am I slamming the women who do post porn with their reviews.

I might have happily acquiesced if he’d caught me circa late 2008 and had bothered to correspond with me and develop a rapport. Might have. But other than a few other irritatingly “cute” comments on Facebook, I don’t know this guy. He’s the equivalent to a stranger spying me wearing a low-cut top and asking, with an arrogant grin, for me to just show off the rest of my tits why don’t I. Ms. Buttinsky there is the equivalent to a stranger in proximity saying “hey, I’m a stripper, I take offense to your offense at baring your tits, what’s wrong with that, I do it all the time you bitch!”. Anyways, I’m getting off track here.

The bottom line is that now I not only have to deal with the “ugh, not this shit again” of unwanted and disrespectful demands for more of me, but I can’t even tell someone off on my own goddamned space of the internet without someone not at all involved thinking she has any damn right to assume and be offended at a perceived slight.

Seriously?

Fuck off.

Tweet this!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 17 Comments

Ugly on the Inside

Most people are not graced with the symmetrical beauty that is deemed “perfect”. Many people do not have what is considered by fashion to be a “perfect” body – i.e. no excess fat, certainly no rolls or pudges, no stretch marks, skin that defies gravity, etc.

But are most people ugly?

No.

I will not sit here and claim to be a saint and say that I never ever make poor comments about a person’s clothing/body/whatever. Sometimes I do. I think most of us do. But when you do it all the time and out loud? I don’t care what you look like. I don’t care if you are Angelina fuckin Jolie’s twin sister. You are ugly. A lot of people don’t know the reasons why I started Wanton Wednesday. One of the reasons was that I didn’t care for the attitude the creator took against “sex bloggers” (an attitude which he has spread to others); I didn’t care for the attitudes of many of the bloggers who participated in HNT, either. Is Wanton Wednesday then the “misfits” version? I don’t know. I don’t care. I sure as fuck am not going to win any beauty contests and I will fully agree that many people do not find fat women attractive on the outside. You know what….you do your thing, I’ll do mine, and if you’re going to judge me or other people who could very well be the most awesome somebody you might ever meet, just on their looks? You’re not a person I want to know.

I visited the blog of someone and really…I should have known better. I already know what kind of person she is. Somehow she’s able to spout off shit like this and get pats on the fuckin back. Glad I don’t know any of the people who were commenting, either.

I don’t want to read anymore posts from women pushing 40 who go out and get liquored up.  I outgrew that before I was 20.  Grow up.  I don’t want to read anymore posts from so called sex bloggers.  The bulk of them are people sneaking around behind someone else’s back.  Grow a pair and get out, or work on what is there.  I don’t want to watch people who’s own marriage is such a joke give marital advice to someone else!  One day I just realized how small and stupid so much of this is.  People posting photos of themselves, so someone else will say how hot they are.  Because, let’s be honest here.  No one is going to say…”Sugar, you have cankles, or those boots you think are so naughty make your pudgy calves look even fatter.”  No one is going to say, please stop showing us your saggy boobs.  It’s like a competition to see how many compliments they can get.  It’s mind numbing and shallow.  There are a handful who actually do it well, and look good doing it.  But the bulk of them……sheesh.

No, I’m not linking to blogger and I probably won’t tell you if you ask – her identity isn’t the point and most likely you don’t know her anyways (one of you will). She is ugly on the inside. I do not want to associate with her or people like her and I hope to hell that no one who participates in WW is anything like her. In her posts she may or may not be referring to people I’m friends with or hell, even me for that matter (” Women who’s nipples look like they fed an entire third world country should NAWT be showing them off on the internet.” or ” At one point I didn’t know where my place was in blogland. I wasn’t a Mommy blogger. I did NAWT want to be one of the crazy sex bloggers.” could easily apply to me, lol).

I don’t care what you look like. I care what is INSIDE OF YOU. I want friends surrounding me who are beautiful on the inside, so beautiful that they outshine others. Many of the people I consider a friend would fit into that. I am not a happy go lucky person – I can be grumpy and cranky and get easily disappointed/upset at the shittiness of peers. But I do know one thing. I am NOT ugly inside. I won’t tolerate anyone who is, anymore. Excuse me while I go fuckin belt out “Don’t Rain on My Parade” or something.

To my friends, to my loyal readers, to my Wanton Wednesday group:

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can’t bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring you down
Don’t you bring me down today…

No matter what we do
No matter what we say
We’re the song inside the tune
Full of beautiful mistakes

And everywhere we go
The sun will always shine
And tomorrow we might wake on the other side
All the other times

We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring us down

~”Beautiful”, Christina Aguilera

Tweet this!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 6 Comments

Scandal Shack Dot Com – Thievery and Copyright Violation!

A lot of my fellow bloggers are having their content scraped and posted on scandal shack dot com – They’re flat-out stealing; they put your words (or photos!) onto their ugly ass ad-laden website without any links to the blogger who wrote it or anything. The only way that you can tell is when someone uses a WordPress plugin that adds copyright protection words/links to their RSS feed (like AAG does).

It’s being done by scraping the content from your RSS feed – they’re pulling from a lot of sites so it’s not being done by hand (quite obviously, or this lovely post by AAG wouldn’t be showing up as a post on SS.com, hehe). I’m posting this warning for you to go check out the site and make sure your content isn’t being scraped. Mina tangled with them directly to no avail, so there’s info in her post on how to report the copyright violations directly to the site’s host. Hopefully with enough complaints the site will go away altogether.

But that only fixes that exact site. And who knows, the guy might do it again. In fact, it’s not the first or last time we’ll ever see our content illegally scraped. I personally use a plugin for WordPress called “No More Frames” which does something to prevent the scripts the scraper is using from pulling your content. My content is, so far, not on the site. It is either because this plugin does actually work OR my feed isn’t worth scraping :)

I guess we’ll find out soon enough, if this post shows up on his site.

This is a lot worse than what a certain vibrator company once did with copyright violation and sex toy reviews, because at least they acted professionally and took things down from their site. This guy is just using it as content filler to fill up the gaps (albeit small) between the garish ads.

 

ETA: The host of the site is on Twitter, perhaps we can employ that method after aggrieved parties have formally sent in their copyright violation email? it’s @Hostgator.

ETA2: I asked, “How many reports of copyright violation does it take for you guys to shut down his site altogether?” @HGSupport, who had been responding to the @Hostgator complaints from bloggers, was asking for support ticket numbers. I personally don’t have one, but others have reported it. Their response to “how many”? -  “Just one, which has not been received at this point. Again, if we can get the ticket it will be handled as quickly as possible.” Which makes no sense, because Mina said in her post that HG removed the posts that she reported as scraped. So they DID have one report. Sadie also sent a complaint on Friday. Are they just blowing smoke, or are they slow?

Tweet this!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 9 Comments

Sex Toys: Single or Partnered, there is no shame in owning them

Thanks to Teagan for the Coalition name ;)

I read something somewhere recently, an innocuous little joke-in-poor-taste, where the author (a reviewer, no less) made a comment likening the ownership of “too many” sex toys to needing to find a partner. That because they happened to own a lot of sex toys it meant they were in even more desperate need of a sex partner – Not you, dear reader, just that person (to be clear). But then again….maybe somebody read that and thought “Oh god…I have a lot of sex toys TOO! Oh no, I’m a sad, miserable person and need to find a partner, stat!”¹

I am a reviewer. I own a LOT of toys (mostly because I’m a reviewer, otherwise I wouldn’t because I’m not rich). I like my variety. Some I keep but aren’t my taste anymore. Even before I was a reviewer I had a lot (relatively speaking; it was a lot to me back then, a normal amount to me now) of toys, because I was muddling my way through purchases trying to find ones that worked for me and my body. I was never embarrassed about the quantity. In fact, I have always been proud of my collection. It’s like having a big book collection – different styles for different needs, different moods, etc. Some for a solo quickie, some for a drawn-out tease, some for g-spot, some for …..you get my point. Some are just for me, some are better for use with my partner.

But never would I equate my use-frequency or quantity of sex toys to a need for having or not having human partnered sex². There’s no fucking shame in owning your sexuality, in taking control of your own damn orgasm. Can you PREFER human contact and partnered sex to sex toys? Sure. You can prefer whatever the fuck you want. But don’t insinuate to me that owning a lot of sex toys is somehow bad or shameful.

Do I think you, my reader, are to be pitied because you do NOT own a lot of sex toys? Only if you desire to own a lot. If you have a few ones that really do it for you and that’s that, fucking awesome. If you orgasm easily and do not need them…..I am highly jealous but still, fucking awesome for you. If you want a large collection or just can’t find the right one for you then yeah, I pity you, because the right to bear orgasms is in the fucking constitution³, damn it.

Did I make a mountain out of a proverbial molehill here in my little rant? Possibly. But there ARE people who are ashamed of sex toys⁴ and they don’t need that shame added to and there are men who feel threatened by sex toys and women who let their men feel threatened by the toy – they hide it instead of teaching him how it can be a wonderful addition to their time together and not a replacement.

 

Sit down, have a cup of coffee and let it all out. Yell at me. Agree with me. Ask me for help in expanding your own collection. I love to help give orgasms *grin* and by that I mean helping you shop, you silly perv.

Tweet this!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 14 Comments

Get off my lawn! (Twitter gripes)

Yeah this is just gonna be a long, rambly/ranty post about Twitter shit. Sorry.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I’m not the sort of Twitter person who gives a shit about the numbers. Or rather, I don’t care how many follow me. I don’t ask for more. When people request to follow me, unless I know of them, I usually stare and get all grumpy-old-man-get-off-my-lawn about it. There’s a reason I have a locked profile. Well, numerous reasons. But one of them is so that I don’t have irritating/annoying/spammy people following me. Recently, what appeared at first to be a spammy dude calling himself tiny_penis, asked to follow me. Based on his first tweets and his profile I declined. Why? numerous reasons really but he just didn’t seem to be the sort of person I wanted replying to my innocuous tweets and making them relevant to his tiny penis revolution.

Tangent: I decline a lot of people who request to follow me. I say and do and show things on Twitter that are more personal than my blog and so part of my pickiness is privacy protection. If someone doesn’t have a profile/timeline that interests me, seems relevant to me, or if they don’t have any tweets or just look “sketchy” to me then I don’t allow their request to follow. Men, and usually even women, who make it clear on their profile that their Twitter profile is a means and method to flirt and get cybersex are a definite no. Submissive men who only play the submissive role on their profile and in their tweets also probably won’t get in. I don’t want or need or like seeing a random barely-relevant reply to my tweets along the lines of “May I kneel at your feet” or something. Yes, I’ve had it, and that’s why I don’t allow them anymore.

So the tiny_penis guy gets a decline. And then (man this irks me when people do this, like I’m gonna change my mind??) requests again. THEN he @’s me on Twitter saying he knows I declined and wants to know why. First of all, my profile is locked and so he wouldn’t even see my reply.

But ….. yes he will. Because I made a comment on twitter about this, he then replies again to me saying he’s sorry to bother but what’s the harm in asking why? Which means he saw my tweet. I ask how and he claims a friend relayed it to him. I’m thinking this is just a secondary secret profile of someone already following me. That or he’s telling the truth and it’s a little creepy. Either way it’s creepy. If someone with a locked profile declines your request it is bad etiquette to start demanding to know WHY. It’s my timeline, my Twitter, my circle. I have control over it for a REASON and no I do NOT owe anybody explanations every time I decline a request.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Random irk: When people ask me on Twitter for my email address. Um, well, my blog address is in my profile and on this blog here my address is readily available. Lazy much?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Random irk 2 (and 3 and 4, clearly): Why do some people RT a FollowFriday in which they were named? If you’d like to thank someone for it, then just @ them directly.  And why do some people FF me when they don’t ever interact with me? If you actually thought me interesting and worth following, wouldn’t you interact with me on Twitter? And WHY do some people RT a tweet in order to reply to the person. I don’t need to see your conversation if I don’t follow the person.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I’ve gotten a little more heavy-handed with unfollowing lately. I’ve unfollowed some people and it doesn’t mean I don’t like them anymore (in most cases). Why do people get so pissy about that? It’s not always personal – I might very well still read and like your blog and you as a person. But some people that were in my timeline were either doing nothing by RT’ing/Tweeting about EF/Sexis articles and not saying anything personal; or doing so many effin contest tweets that it felt like it was all I ever saw from them. I’m sorry if I don’t want to see bombardments of contest entries, thirteen tweets about an article, you selling your used panties, or your incessant hashtag games. I clearly personally offended these people so most did the retaliatory unfollow. *sigh* Go for it if it helps you. Why does unfollowing someone on Twitter have to be taken SO fucking seriously?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Actually, why does ANY of this shit matter? To me, to you, at all?

Man I’m ranty. I thought about being cheeky and adding a poll to see how many people reading this got personally offended, but what’s the point? If you are, speak the hell up and say so.

Tweet this!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me