Nov 252015

Black Friday in retail land usually means deals on odd brands that no one would normally buy, making you think you’re getting a sweet deal. But in reality, it’s gonna break on you 2 weeks after the warranty is up. Black Friday in the world of sex toy retail though is the time to spend your dough on the items you’ve wished and sighed for. This is perhaps the best chance you’ll get at finding deals on pricey sex toys, if you know where to shop. SheVibe won’t have “door busters” on crappy, porous sex toys, they’ll just put everything on sale and let you pick. Need some help? I have IDEAS.



Shevibe is doing a progressive sale. You don’t have to spend a lot, really, to get their best deal of 20% off. Since SheVibe’s prices are already as low as many manufacturers will let authorized retailers go, you’re getting a pretty sweet ride. You can buy from SheVibe knowing that your package will arrive safely, discreetly and that they won’t ever send you anything else you didn’t order (no porn catalogs in the mail, here!). You can be assured that your order will be backed up by fabulous customer service, too.  BONUS FOR MY READERS: In addition to the fabulous discounts, you can also enter another coupon code and get a $10 gift card good towards your next purchase if you spend $100 or more, or a $5 giftcard if you spend $99 or less (1 card per order). Use code LILLYBB5 if you spend less than $99, or LILLYBB10 if you spend more than $100. And yes, you can get BOTH the giftcard AND the sale pricing, you can use two coupon codes.

So, what should you get? This sale would be the perfect time to splurge on things that are a little over-priced (ahem, Lelo – this sale might take the items back to what they used to be priced at), making the hit to your wallet a little easier. Consider the L’amourose Rosa or Denia because I’ve loved these two vibes a lot. Would 20% off the awfully-named Womanizer that has me so confused make things a little easier? And of course, you can’t forget the Doxy Die Cast and the Doxy Skittle. Not a Doxy person? I don’t love it as much, but this would be a great time to consider the Magic Wand Rechargeable. I’ve heard a lot of good things about the pricey Lelo Hugo, so that might be on your list. And of course the Hot Octopuss Pulse can’t be missed for those penis-havers in your life. If you’re a Tom of Finland fan, this sale plus SheVibe’s pricing makes the Kake Collector’s Cock almost tolerable in pricing.  And it almost goes without saying, if you don’t own it yet, add the Tango in to your order. If you want a gift pack for someone new to sex toys, I recommend the We-Vibe Tango Kit which has a Tango, the insertable (Glow) vaginal sleeve and the baby plug (Dusk).

Sometimes I have to just recommend entire brands, because they’re that good. This is the time of year to consider purchasing a beautiful wood creation from Nobessence, or some artistic glass from Fucking Sculptures. For harnesses and more, my absolute most favorite brand is Aslan Leather because their leather is sooo soft and comfortable. While you might win one from me,  anything by Njoy is a must-have in your collection.

Need a couple small things to round up your order? Don’t forget the lube — Sliquid and Good Clean Love are the best — and consider an anti-bacterial toy storage pouch such as the Sugar Sak.


Grab Bag sale is still going on but RIGHT NOW through 3pm PST you can take 40% off ANYTHING. YES ANYTHING.

Crystal Delights

Their much-loved Mini Twist Plugs are $15 off for Black Friday.


I was looking at the Smitten Kitten offerings and noticed they have dildos in brands/styles I don’t see often like Hole Punch; Vamp styles that Shevibe doesn’t carry; Standard Glass dildos (very good quality brand); Acrylic Wands (looks like glass, doesn’t break); they also have some quirky queer stuff. Their prices on most sex toys seem to be slightly higher than Shevibe, so I’d still recommend Shevibe for most things (and the Shevibe sale is still going through today).

SK also has neat lube sample packets where you get a bunch of brands, similar types, and all are truly body-safe (no crappy chemicals).


 Posted by at 1:00 am
Nov 202015

7WandsWhy 7 Njoy Pure Wands? Because I’m a dork. Because that’s how much I love this sex tool.  It’s no toy; it’s a gorgeous hunk of body-safe polished 316 grade stainless steel that seems to be made of magic as far as my g-spot is concerned1. In my 7 years of reviewing I’ve never loved a dildo as much as I love my Pure Wand and I want many people to experience the (n)joy it brings.

I knew, well I’d hoped, that we would be buying a house this year. I just didn’t know when. So when the house buying and moving occurred in April I had no idea how much it would distance me from blogging and just in general being available on the ‘net. I’d had grand plans to attempt to locate various retailers willing to give me a total of 7 Njoy Pure Wands. It felt daunting because I am very selective in who I work with and I don’t work with 7 retailers. Between the dauntingness of the task and the exhaustion from moving, I didn’t do a giveaway during my blog anniversary.  When I was at Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit I got to see Greg again, the genius behind the best dildo ever, and also met his partner Marla. When I said to Greg “Yeah I’d considered doing a “7 Wands for 7 Years” giveaway this summer but between the house buying and what seemed like an inability to procure 7, it never happened but it would have been cool” he says to me with confusion “Did you email us??”. I said no, with equal confusion, and he said “Well email me! I’ll send you 7!” and on your behalf, readers, I nearly fainted with giddy joy of being able to make 7 people verrrry happy.

And here we are!

OH BUT WAIT, there’s a special unscheduled guest. Marla sweetly tucked in an Njoy Eleven. Since I’ve already had the pleasure of experiencing the Eleven, one of you will get it. I AM SO EXCITED! BE EXCITED WITH ME! Yes, the Eleven comes in a black leather purse which is also awesome.

This is a World Wide contest with FREE SHIPPING!

The utter joy of viewing 7 Pure Wands and 1 Eleven in preparation to shuttle them off into the world to their new homes comes with another responsibility – the cost of shipping. The way I normally do my giveaways is that if the winner is in the US, the shipping is free for them but for those outside the US (or outside countries the giveaway sponsor won’t ship to) I take the item myself and the winner pays shipping. However, the Pure Wand weighs 2 pounds 12 ounces when packaged, while the Eleven weighs 4 pounds. This makes for damn pricey shipping, even just in the US. So after a fabulous idea by Sarah, I called upon other bloggers to help give you the gift of completely free shipping. These bloggers are all chipping in to pay for your shipping. All you have to do is follow them on Twitter if you don’t already. Yes, this is a lot of people to follow but I can promise you, you won’t regret it. We’re a pretty fun & interesting bunch of people. Some of us tweet more, some tweet less, many will have giveaways of their own that you’ll get insider scoops on! I chose these people because they have less than 2,000 followers and they need some extra exposure to the world; plus I think they’re all pretty rad, and their blogs are great. All bloggers who joined in write honest reviews with no bullshit – I wouldn’t recommend anything less. Please say hello and thank you to: Artemesia Femmecock; Apricot Creams; Bex Talks Sex; Blissfully Orgasmic; The Big Gay Review; Come Heather; Dizzygirl; Erocentric (Mandy); For Sploosh’s Sake (Lena); Miss Ruby Reviews; Mary Q Contrary; Ninja Sexology (Lunabelle); Perineum Plunders; Purple Elysium (Ely); Pimento Mori.

Tumblr Peeps Only – 3 Njoy Pure Wands

Tumblr has blossomed into a fabulous place for spreading sex education; it’s an amazing way to “preach beyond the choir” as Tumblr bloggers who might not normally reblog a thing about sex toys do it anyways because they want to keep their friends safe. I’ve selected some posts that I think are pretty important for education; to get an entry, simply reblog them. Where this gets a little more interesting is that you’ll get bonus entry points for every person who reblogs it directly from you. If someone reblogs from you and then someone reblogs from them, that third tier down won’t count for you, just the immediate reblog. Make sense? I’ll give out 50 bonus points total (1 for every reblog you get) for this. You may encourage your readers to share the post with their followers, but I ask that you NOT ask them to share because of a contest. They should share if they want to spread the info. They will share if you’ve added some insightful/helpful info/anecdote. But if I see that you’re all “HEY share this so I can win a dildo thx!” I won’t count your entry. If this seems overly complicated to you, contact me and I will try to explain it differently. I’ll either add in the points you receive for this manually to the widget OR just publish the tally when the contest is over, for transparency.

Three of the seven wands will go to Tumblr readers, winners chosen at random so the more entry points the better your chances.

7 Wands for 7 years – Tumblr Edition

Twitter Followers Only – 2 Njoy Pure Wands

This one is simple. Follow all of the lovely other bloggers who are paying for your shipping. As a reward for following all of the wonderful bloggers who are making sure your shipping is FREE, you can unlock the “refer friends” bonus entry, which I don’t think has a cap on the referrals! Referring friends is where you’ll probably get the most entries.

Two of the seven wands will go to Twitter followers, winners chosen at random so the more entry points the better your chances. 

7 wands for 7 years – Twitter Edition

Blog Readers Only – 2 Njoy Pure Wands

I know I have some fans who aren’t on Twitter or Tumblr. You guys get your special section. If you’ve already entered in the Tumblr or Twitter contest, you can’t enter here. You CAN but I’ll know you’re the same person and you’ll be banned all across the board, so don’t try to cheat. Yes, I will know. Please don’t disappoint me by trying.

You must comment on this post to win. Your comment must contain 3 things; leave any out and you’re not eligible. You’re going to comment on this post and tell me which review of mine is your favorite, and why; you’ll also tell me what item(s) you’d most like me to review next OR what guides/material safety questions I should answer via post. Finally, a (brief!) bit on why you want the Pure Wand.  I will keep an eye on the spam filter for comments that don’t show up. If your comment doesn’t get approved within 24 hours of posting it, please contact me.

BONUS ENTRY POINTS: If you already subscribe to my newsletter, please be sure that you’ve signed up for the giveaway under that email address. Those who are subscribers prior to the contest will receive 5 bonus entry points. Don’t try to lie. If you fill out this entry and you weren’t a subscriber PRIOR TO THE CONTEST then I’ll have to disqualify you. 

Two of the seven wands will go to blog readers.

7 Wands for 7 years – Blog Edition

Open to ALL – Njoy Eleven

First, I need you to understand that the Njoy Eleven is heavy (2.75 lbs by itself) and large. The smaller end is 1.75″ but it’s also the best end to hold it from, and the larger end is 2″. This thing feels like a bit MORE than a two-inch-wide silicone dildo just due to the solid steel and the weight. If you have problems with certain dildos catching your pubic bone, this may or may not be the best toy for you (but, neither would the Pure Wand).

This contest is open to everyone, again with the free shipping thanks to those lovely folks above (even if you aren’t entering to win a Pure Wand, give them a follow as a thanks for covering your shipping on the Eleven).  If you entered to win a Pure Wand you can also enter to win an Eleven.

Njoy Eleven


For specs on the items, see here for the Pure Wand and here for the Eleven.

Winners will have 48 hours to respond to my notification email when the contest ends. I want to ship these out ASAP so that you might get them in time for the holidays. For International shipments I will put a reasonable (but not the retail value) price value to help mitigate high customs/VAT.

This contest is proudly sponsored by THE AMAZING NJOY – Thank you Greg and Marla for sending me these!!!!

  1. While not everyone adores the Pure Wand I think its success rate has to be better than 85%
 Posted by at 12:04 pm
Oct 072015

Author’s Note: This post is continually updated as things happen so please be sure to read to the bottom for the latest updates.

I’ve been accused once of being a bully, and a mean girl, on social media because I dare to stand up for myself and other bloggers. At the risk of facing more accusations like that I’m writing this piece and bringing this situation to light because the further we dug the more it went from “weird” to “predatory”.

In my research on glass sex toys I came across a scare-tactic article from “A Touch of Glass ®“, a UK glass sex toy retailer. Much of their information is correct (the cheap mass-produced China glass items are indeed cheap and can break easily) but they take it a step further, warning folks that shady companies might use “window glass” and insinuating that the glass dildo can shatter to bits while in use. That’s false, and it irks me.  Given that they sell many designs that are commonly found elsewhere in the industry from many companies, I have my doubts – one such design is known best in the reviewing circles as the Bent Graduate from Don Wands. It is replicated by EdenFantasys, SSA Glass, and dozens of no-name glass sellers on Amazon and even Etsy. Every version of that glass dildo that I have tested by polariscope has failed. Yet their company claim leads one to believe that one wouldn’t find a dildo in their shop that doesn’t pass a simple stress test: “To maintain such a venerable high standard, our glass dildo product range specifically excludes the cheap far-eastern imports of dubious origin and questionable quality, flooding the mass market these days.”1

I don’t follow this company on social media but I’ve seen them around and yesterday a photo they posted for #asswednesday, oddly enough, tweaked my Spidey Sense. I did a reverse image search and surely enough….there’s the photo they used but on The Chive, a “bro” site that frequently does round-up posts of selfies from around the ‘net. Then I did a reverse search on the avatar – and found that the unedited version is used on many adult dating sites as a “teaser” image for “some of their members”. This same avatar image is also used for “Jenny Dillar” on Facebook who is listed as the Owner/Partner2 of ‘A Touch of Glass ®‘.  On Twitter recently a new employee was introduced..yet even her headshot is fake. Why even do that? When you read the “About” pages on their website which introduces us to three lovely women (Carol, Jenny and Lauren) is it said that LAUREN is the person controlling the Twitter account….yet Jenny’s picture is used. It’s all very weird and shady, isn’t it? Now it could be that the photos that they are posting on Twitter and Facebook are really this young woman who also submits such photos to Tumblrs which causes them to get picked up and used without credit by these many adult dating sites, porn sites, and The Chive. It could be. I’ll allow that possibility to stand. But it is my opinion that that isn’t the case, that they have plucked these photos from the web and use them as their own. Their tweets and commentary on the posts when they share the photos usually insinuate that they are saying the photo is of them, “Jenny” or “Lauren” or whoever. 

TouchofGlass1 TouchofGlass2 TouchofGlass3
TouchofGlass4 TouchofGlass5jennydillar

Even if these photos are real…this is pretty unprofessional. It feels a bit odd that a retail shop would allow their social media manager or even a company partner to flirt, approach others for photos, and share personal risque photos of themselves on a company account. Of course, this might be something they think they need to do to stand out from the crowd of adult retailers. Since the website claims that Lauren is running the Twitter account they also fill us in on how Lauren is a model3.

No stranger to yoinking photos from the ‘net, ‘A Touch of Glass ®‘ is also using a random image of Jennifer Lopez on their homepage. I’ve got a feeling they’re not paying to use her likeness.

TouchofGlass6 touchofglass8

But the real owner of ‘A Touch of Glass ®‘ isn’t hard to find. When I was asking my fellow bloggers if they were as weirded out as I was, David over at The Big Gay Review did a quick web search to find that ESHOPS (UK) owns ‘A Touch of Glass ®‘ and that the owners of ESHOPS are David Mattocks and Janet Mattocks4. As David (Big Gay Review) puts it the “information is from Companies House – it’s from the UK governments business registry – so that is who owns ESHOPS, which in turn runs A Touch of Glass ®.” and this is public knowledge. Updated Info on this: It seems that they stopped doing business as A Touch of Glass last year, and now just operate as EHOPS, which Jessica pointed out to me last night. Neither place seems to show any employees, but I’m not certain one would have to report that in this manner? I’m not 100% that regular employees are shown on this site. Also note that ATOG was registered to: David Mattocks 44 Rectory Avenue Corfe Mullen Wimborne Dorset, his home address. He probably dissolved this when he ran for Town Council or whatever it’s called.

I haven’t had tests run on their glass pieces yet5 but my suspicions are strong that their glass isn’t what they represent it to be. And them using fake photos and creating what I speculate is a fake persona for social media isn’t criminal or anything more than weird, but things make a quick turn into predatory when I am told by no less than four reviewers that they were privately asked to send over explicit video of them using the product, in exchange for being sent the product for review. Luckily the bloggers who revealed this did NOT send this person their explicit video but I fear that others might, or already have. Here is the account of one blog reviewer who would like to remain anon for now, and I’m sharing this with her permission:

I was messaged via Twitter asking if they could send me products… in exchange for a VIDEO for the ‘VIP section’ on their site. I have no idea what or WHERE this ‘VIP area’ is. I said no and avoided them for a while. I have since reviewed for them (quite recently in fact) with no issues, but I know they are still (over a year on) unsolicitedly asking people for videos in exchange for toys and I just think it’s kind of, well… icky.


This “VIP Section” is referenced when you view the “About Lauren” page on their site, they say that Lauren is running it. But it sounds like they have been asking this of reviewers for many months now with no VIP section coming to fruition. I don’t take kindly to my troupe being taken advantage of, and that’s what this seems like. It’s my opinion that the UK glass sex toy retailer ‘A Touch of Glass ®‘ selling at cannot be trusted by reviewers OR customers. A Touch of Glass ® appears to be misrepresenting the identity of the person running their social media networks, causing people to assume they’re speaking with (or sending photos to) a young woman when it fact it could very well be they’re sending them to an older man. When they use this misrepresentation of identity to make other people feel more comfortable about sending them explicit photos, this feels predatory. This feels wrong. It doesn’t feel like a company I could ever recommend you to trust, and that’s why I’ve decided to write this post. I can’t not tell you what I’ve found, so that you can make up your own mind based on that, versus the smoke and mirrors the company has apparently laid out.

I have not approached the company privately, because we are not connected on social media. If the company would be interested in replying and clearing the air here, they are welcome to do so. If my speculations and opinions are wrong, and there is a more honest situation going on here, I’m very willing to publish their story. I would have gone to them first if it were merely about the fake photos but once I found out that they had asked many reviewers to send explicit video (something I have never had ANY company ask me for) I decided that my speculations and opinions, and the information from other reviewers who may comment here and share, warranted public light. You can make up your own mind if you want to do business with this company, whether you are a reviewer or customer. I wouldn’t, and that’s my opinion. The image just below is a screencap of the account runner offering a mere dildo as payment for an explicit video.


Readers and bloggers, does this information change your level of trust of this company, or any company that might do this? Have you ever seen these actions elsewhere by another company? Have you had any interaction with this company that strikes you as unprofessional, or troublesome? If you’d be willing to share your story but do not want to do so under your blogging identity feel free to use Disqus anonymously and I will make sure it’s published, and your identity won’t be shared by me.


UPDATE: Shortly after this post went live the @eroticglass Twitter account was made private. Those who are Twitter friends with the account say that some of the photos I called out above as being fake are now gone. The Jenny Dillar fake Facebook account is gone, however Jenny lives on still (for now) on Google Plus and Linkedin. The actual website for the shop used to list David Mattocks as the site designer and linked to his personal page, but they removed that as well, you can see the image below though that shows it was there. There is also a screencap of a little interview talking about “Carol” and her “friends Jenny and Lauren” starting A Touch of Glass. The entire story seems to be a fabrication. I wouldn’t expect this company to last much longer, as David seems to sell his businesses all the time. The detail someone else commented about below, matching car photos both about being in Colorado on the same day from David’s personal FB account (the post is public, btw, but I obfuscated details just because I’m wary at this point) and the ToG picture is shown, screencapped before they locked their account down. Speaking of Jenny’s G+ account – I can’t see much, but I can see two other photos that, judging by the filename (Jenny250) and their use on her page seems like they’re claiming it’s Jenny…despite that face looking nothing like her profile picture. A reverse image search found it being used by a Mary Thompson from Michigan on a Moms page; later on someone named “Jenny D” used it on a moms group page when the talk turns to “sex toy testers” re: Lovehoney.

TouchofGlassJennyGTouchofGlassJennyLTouchofGlassfooter TouchofGlassStory

TouchofGlassCar1 TouchofGlassCar2JennyMomsTouofGlassJennyG+

Update 2:

Day 2 after the post went live, there are new “closings” and changes. The Google + page for Jenny Dillar no longer has that fake profile photo.  The Twitter account that was made private in the hours after the post went live is now completely gone. The “About Carol/Jenny/Lauren” pages on site have been taken down, but we have screenshots. Other websites and Twitter accounts also owned by David Mattocks, like “Amelia of Mayfair” are now gone.  Kara found this page which talks about the businesses that David Mattocks runs; judging by this I wouldn’t be surprised if they close down A Touch of Glass and start a new one up in a few months or a year. Below are more screenshots of things now missing, or just more information as it’s found.

Also, David Mattocks has yanked his personal site which was pretty much just a page of pompous bullshit, no major loss. He seems to not understand that 1. The cat is out of the bag and 2. Erasing Twitter accounts, web sites, and pages from websites doesn’t erase them from the Internet Archives, doesn’t negate our screencaps, and doesn’t hide the fact that he runs the business and ran with this predatory deception for so long with A Touch of Glass.

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12162337_10153792491134683_670442011_o 12077271_10153792546494683_217176053_ndavidmattocks1davidmattocks2

UPDATE 3: I received an email from a very shaken-up UK woman who wanted to remain anonymous, as she no longer is a sex blogger, but she grew to trust the person running the Twitter account. She was talked into sending them video, and she did. She received video too, claiming to be Jenny, but she never viewed it. She was sent nude photos and sent photos in return, until one day when David Mattocks slipped up pretending to be Lauren: “I swapped some photos over DM again just last month but then a couple of weeks ago she messed up, I then realised I had been sending photos to someone who was lifting photos from sites after a photo was sent to me with a message and then the same photo but cropped and the same message was sent again, they obviously didn’t realise that they could delete the photo and message but I would still see it. I saw the Uncropped photo which was from porn hub of a Caity Minx. I felt thoroughly used, disgusted at myself and like a total idiot now I feel more of one. I spent so long tweeting this account in a normal way that I wasn’t suspicious when things were approached in a business way with a bit more of a fun twist shall we say.”

Another blogger tried to email Lauren and has received back an error message that indicates the email account for Lauren has been deleted.

Becks sent me her Moody Blue glass dildo to run my home polariscope test on. While the upcoming glass test post is a bit of ways off, this much I can tell you now: You do NOT want to see rainbows. Rainbows means not annealed. Not annealed means it was made cheap and fast, and most certainly in a China plant. They tried to claim to one person that the glass dildos they source are hand made in Germany. I think not!!! A Touch of Glass / specifically has warnings all over their site about cheap China glass, with assertions that THEIR products are not. Are we surprised that they’ve outright lied? Customers, you have overpaid.

ToGwarning ToGwarning2 2015-10-10 09.23.49

Update 4:  Another blogger contacted Jenny, Lauren and Support emails to request their affiliate balance be paid out – emails to Jenny and Lauren bounced, naturally, but the Support email went through. They did not receive any response, but DID receive a payment of the balance of their account. If you are an affiliate of A Touch of Glass and would like to cease your relationship with them, it seems they are honoring requests to pay out and close out accounts – albeit silently. Any attempts at emailing David Mattocks have gone unanswered.

Update 5 / November 8th: It was brought to my attention on Twitter that A Touch of Glass is BACK on Twitter as @PleasureGlass now and is right back to trying to solicit videos this time under the guise of instruction girls to be “information” rather than “pornographic”….but still explicit. Right. ALSO: Within mere hours the Twitter account went from private (but not before blocking all bloggers involved in this post) to deleted.

ATOGblocked ATOGPLeasureGlass1

  1. from their “About” page:
  2. whereas in the About Jenny section of their website, Jenny is listed as Commercial Manager and Carol is listed as the person who started the company
  3. From their site, the About Lauren page: “Also – if you hadn’t already guessed it – before corporate life, Lauren was a model. Well, she is drop-dead gorgeous. And go take a look at our Twitter page and guess who’s picture that is. The one on the left. Yep! See what we mean now? Mind you, the stunning shot here is nothing short of eye-watering don’t you think? Lauren is currently busy with setting up our VIP Club that will include restricted member-only access to our exclusive Connoisseur Collection of glass dildos – which we’d rather refer to as ‘dilettos’ – plus a portfolio of photographs and videos which we consider to be far too racy for unrestricted public access. More details coming soon, but if you can’t wait, please contact Lauren for an update.”
  4. Who are no strangers to owning businesses, as was found here:
  5. This will happen shortly, I have an item on its way and two other reviewers will be testing from afar – this will be listed in my large post about glass testing that will be live sometime later this month
 Posted by at 2:12 pm
Aug 262015

Woodhullsfs15[pstWhen it came to past conferences, I wrote about my experiences and it seemed to all flow out – whether it was that first year when it was still good, or that last year when I knew I wouldn’t be returning to Catalyst (and thought I’d never go to another conference again). But Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit 2015 was just…so…

When I think of moments, of people, I get all emotional and I cry. I can’t find words that will do justice to the amazing time I had. How much it transcended past conferences. How much I love the Blog Squad1, Shevibe (my sponsor for the trip, I cannot thank them enough), Tantus and Smitten Kitten. Rather than being a ball of nerves and gluing myself to the side of one person for the whole thing, I was able to relax and just hang out with various people thanks in large part to the overall atmosphere at Woodhull and in large part to the Tantus-sponsored bloggers’ lounge. Having a place where we could all relax and talk to each other and hide during/between sessions was amazing and vital. It was simply the start of things for us, as bloggers, as we kept being thanked by Ricci and others for being there, for tweeting, for the publicity, etc. When the collective Twitter reach is at least 25,000 (not taking into account Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, and our blog readers without social media) I cannot imagine why bloggers would NOT be welcomed with open arms and treated kindly. Suffice to say this was new territory for us all, this gratitude and welcoming. No longer merely tolerated, flat-out ignored or chastised, we felt respected, and that we matter.

This post is long and I’m not sure all of you will care to read the whole thing because so much of it is personal. But I have to write this whole thing because I need to be sure in later days that it happened, that it wasn’t a dream and it wasn’t Oz (although when it came time for me to leave, I certainly thought it had to be Oz). I also need you fellow non-blogger sex geeks (or fellow bloggers who haven’t attended a conference) to understand what it’s like because I think you should attend the next one if you can. Find a fellow sex-geek friend to hang out with and then revel in the workshops and the brain sex and the glory that is being able to have these discussions with a big bunch of other like-minded individuals. 


I registered, which had some funny moments. In the bags they hand out many people had some interesting items from Lelo but my bag had none. I’m sure that’s how Lelo would have wanted it, anyways, so it all worked out but I found it funny. Then they hand me a lanyard for my ID based off of my photo preference – I don’t want my photo taken so I’m given this florescent yellow lanyard……that has Pipedream all over it. Slowly, others came in and I got my first looks at new Tantus dildos and the glory of the Tantus coffee mug. Dizzy2, Luna and a few others like myself with Pipedream lanyards moaned about how it felt like punishment because if there is one company we wouldn’t want around our neck, it’s Pipedream. I could almost feel the burning on my neck, like water on the Wicked Witch. Thankfully Lunabelle3 packed a Sharpie so I was saved. Since I was the sex toy mule for Reenie’s4 Woodhull giveaways, a few of us ran up to her & Lena’s5 room to help her fill goodie bags and squeeze silicone from Damn Average and Frisky Beast. I wanted to steal one of the FB squishy paws and DA squishy cubes but I was good! Once we’d spent a lot of time in the Blogger Lounge we headed for a room and hung out awhile, with Bex6 finally rounding us up to order Chinese delivery (she was a lifesaver because getting us to agree and do something was like herding cats). The only sex toys I brought were the horrific ones, like the Rockbox Finger because really….seeing people’s reactions in person is just priceless. When I explained that I needed to run the batteries down because the battery cap was stuck, it was passed around the group like the Sword in the Stone. Artemisia7 proved to be the most cunning and mighty and finally killed the beast. Then it was off to Bedpost Confessions. Ricci Levy – after thanking the bloggers for attending and tweeting and being awesome8 – told a story of her lifelong struggle with weight and accepting her weight. For those in the audience also battling the F word and the stigma around it, it was a particularly emotional story. After Ricci received a standing ovation Epiphora9 , on the other side of Artemisia, says to me “Do you need a hug?”. I did and I got one right then and there, an awesome healing hug that I will not forget. We eventually all headed back to the hotel room and loudly talked about everything under the sun, including (shocker) shitty toys and toxic toys. It was a good day.


I got up early to eat and stress out about my upcoming session that Caitlin10 helped bring to light. I felt like I said weird things and talked too fast during our panel but no one seemed to agree (at least to my face). The session was amazing and powerful. Having some of the Blog Squad up front11 was super helpful, giving me friendly faces to focus on if I felt like I didn’t know where to look when I was talking. A true testament to the fact that millions of grown-ass adults walk around right now with a limited understanding of the anatomy of their bodies and their partners bodies as it relates to pleasure was evident in Jennifer’s story. They told us of an elderly couple who finally came into the store after trying everything they knew (and advice from doctors and therapists) to bring her to orgasm and nothing worked. Jennifer asked the simple “Do you know where her clitoris is?” and he replied that he must, for he rubs in that general area. She educated them and he called her the next day saying that, while they didn’t reach their goal in one night they finally knew they were on the right path and finally had been told the key piece of information they’d been missing for years. Jennifer sobbed at the end of the story, we all cried, and it was a powerful session. I collected the tweets from our session and plan to reread them whenever I need strength and reminders that what I am doing matters and I need to keep doing it. We cried during Monster Under the Bed. We felt all sorts of horrified, angry feelings about the lube industry at Sarah’s lube session. After so many feels, and then an awesome dinner with Shevibe12, Metis, Piph, Penny13, JoEllen14…. I’d had enough for that day. I ran out of spoons, as did many. Many of us crashed early that night, but woke up ready to learn and socialize for Saturday. 

Other awesome Friday things: passing around the Hello Touch X in the blogger lounge and griping about the user manual; me toting around the Pleasure Purse and showing people the Jar of Horrors in person; I got to see the shiny gorgeous metal Doxy and feel the Doxy Skittle in person, both of which I will be reviewing when they come out. 


I slept in and missed a morning session I wanted to attend, but got my afternoon session – Yes All Genders. Afterwards I stopped at the Njoy table and saw prototypes that I cannot share publicly but I feel they need a signature petition to be made for public consumption. Greg has all these ideas that he deems “not good enough” and so they don’t see the light of day which is SAD because his “not good enough” is already many times better than many exisiting sex toys. I also got a great cleaning tidbit from the “don’t do this” files and I’ve added the update to the Care & Cleaning Materials Guide. Then onto a pool & pizza party with Smitten Kitten and the blog squad. Then we stopped in at the Liberty Ball for a little while, long enough for a few dances and long enough to see Buck Angel go all Magic Mike XXX on us which, if you missed it, I’m so sorry you missed it. Soon though a group headed up to Piph’s room for the blogger PJ party. There were so many conversations going on at once and fun things happening and I finally got to spend good quality time with Mary and Harry15. Next year we need a sound-proofed room away from sleeping quarters for this shindig where we can cackle as loud as we want after midnight (boy are we loud). I saw Luna’s dildo collection and just was in awe of colors, sizes, and squish factor. Reenie tried on a harness and dildo and was adorable. I stayed in Piph’s room just past 3, not long after we were finally reported to hotel security for aforementioned loud cackling. As I walked back to my room alone I couldn’t help but cry already missing those I just said goodbye to. Despite being tired and knowing I needed to sleep for my drive the next day, my brain wouldn’t let me sleep. 


Waking was painful. The hall where the sessions and vendors had been was empty, and sad like a ghost town. I went to the brunch but didn’t eat and realized I needed to go pack and get on the road. I said goodbye to those I didn’t say goodbye to in Piph’s room and packed and checked out. I ran into JoEllen and Elle in the hotel lounge and got to say goodbye to them. Leaving was hard. The drive home was filled with tears (partly because my car and my GPS turned against me, partly because the 6 hour drive turned into an 8.5 hour drive, but mostly because I didn’t want to leave my friends). Here’s how I really and truly knew that the conference was the best I’d ever attended: I wasn’t ready to go home. As much as I’ve loved events in the past, my limit was right about around the 4 day mark – the few times I’d stayed til Monday I ended up cranky on Sunday night and Monday morning, ready to be in the comforts of home. But this time I wished I’d stayed, I wished I’d arrived earlier. 

Ok but what was it REALLY like?

There were actually a number of sessions I thought were interesting enough to attend besides the 3 I did attend and the 1 I fully expected to attend, but I also knew that I had to be picky and limit myself. To jump from workshop to workshop would have worn me down much faster. For the first time since my very first conference, I felt that the array of sessions was diverse and interesting. For those looking to really educate themselves, the longer 3-hour academies were probably wonderful – but I know myself I don’t have the attention span to finish a movie in one sitting, much less a 3-hour academy. I don’t like leaving/entering when one has already started, though others did this, however I would consider it if the subject were a necessity to what I do on this blog. But there were many choices for workshops (maybe too many during some time slots?) and everything was kinda fast-paced – I would have liked more time for lunch break and maybe a little more time between workshops BUT that fast pace allowed for the workshops to be 90 minutes; the past conferences I’ve attended it was 50 minutes and that just felt too short. 90 minutes was pretty necessary to fully dig into the topics in the sessions I attended. In fact, Caitlin, Jennifer, Metis and myself had so much to say that I don’t feel we took enough questions/feedback from the audience. I was hoping to hear from store employees about their attempts/successes/failures at educating customers. If anyone was at that workshop and wants to chime in on things, please feel free to do so in the comments.

The hotel was, I think, better than the Crystal City hotel of prior conferences if only for layout, design and the fact that where we were put, the hall of meeting rooms we used, didn’t feel like we had to hide. In the hotel used for Momentum and Catalyst the registration area was right outside the elevators and we shared a floor with the hotel pool, so there was a lot of “think of the children and the offended adults” hiding of stuff. There were some issues with the hotel front desk staff and confusions (due to the hotel apparently changing ownership?) but overall (despite my room being used for someone’s smoke break) the room I was in was great and the hotel was great. Of course there was an issue with the pipes? I think? Causing some very loud whale-song noises during workshops which made it hard to hear and pay attention. Yes, we had less food options vs Crystal City but I think we still made it work.

I would like to be in another workshop next year, if possible, despite how stressed out I was about speaking in front of people. Or, maybe not, maybe I’ll just listen and learn next year. We’ll see. You can expect posts from me over the next month inspired by what I learned about trans inclusivity, sex & depression & anxiety, and of course LUBE.  Something else you can expect: A renewed commitment to supporting my fellow bloggers. I was reminded that weekend that Jennifer’s motto “It’s good business to do good business” also means that as a community there is no harm to support others. I will not support my Blog Squad any less because, what, they may get an affiliate sale that I didn’t? No. Invalid. We are all mighty individuals but together we are loud, we get shit done and we are fucking fabulous. We are changing the world.

When you’re a sex blogger and especially an anonymous blogger you may not have the ability to have these conversations often about sexuality and sex toys. Any of you can imagine – find something you’re passionate about, something that 95% of the people in your everyday life don’t get or you don’t want them to know about. Now imagine you are in a place where EVERYBODY is passionate about that and it’s like an oasis of wonder. It’s brain sex. So you’re excited and happy and overwhelmed and then….then it’s over. Con-drop is a thing and in these situations it’s so hard to return to your boring life, where you can’t just rattle off things about the subjects you’re most passionate about to a room of others who are just as passionate and you certainly can’t talk about burning dildos in everyday company or admit to just anybody what the state of your bed looks like. And I don’t know that I’ve ever had a “vanilla” friend admit so freely how alike our bodies are in what sex toys we like and ask if my clit is a lefty or righty but Mandi and I just talk about it like it’s coffee16. A whole entire long weekend of being my “authentic self”, able to say anything I want, is freeing.

I owe a debt of gratitude to for sending me to Woodhull; to Ricci Levy & The Board for making the Summit so amazing and welcoming; to Tantus for the blogger lounge; to the Blog Squad for letting me hang out with ya. 

Everyone has a different perspective of the conference and attended sessions I didn’t, so if you’re curious to hear more please read their posts:


  1. Calvin of Smitten Kitten came up with this since we all seemed to travel in a pack. Being the geeks we are, we embraced it with glee – Artemisia, Penny, Caitlin, Bex, Epiphora, Mary, Dizzy, Mandi, Reenie, Lena, Lunabelle and me
  2. Quiet but easy to talk to, Dizzy was among the first I was able to sit down with and it was great to ease into social-ness with her
  3. Smart, funny, kind, amazing Luna packed the most useful stuff, from Sharpies to a mobile bar to a suitcase of dildo brands many of us have never seen in real life
  4. Reenie is just as cute and sincere as you would imagine. I adore her completely. She says fabulous things, like after donning a Spareparts harness and a dildo says “OMG! Does this mean I can send dick pics now???? And she just walked around, waggling fantasy cock dildos in the halls and hotel areas like NBD. I can’t wait to see her again
  5. SASSY. That is Lena. Well, after some vodka. Pre-vodka Lena is still sassy and awesome, friendly and sweet, I can’t wait to see what her blog will bring
  6. She of cleavage and fabulous smile, full of energy and hugs, so easy to get along with and so caring.
  7. Caring and kind, beautiful and easy to talk to, rolls with anything – whether someone wants to call her Jill because she looks like a Jill or Piph thinks her avatar isn’t nearly as hot as she is in reality and needs to be changed, pronto
  8. Yes, we were all shocked at that, and it ended up being only the first time of many that weekend where all bloggers were thanked
  9. True story, I was intimidated to hang out with her but she’s great – sweet and funny and adorkable, unapologetically honest, she will not hesitate to say exactly what she’s thinking – Piph will be the friend who will tell you what you need to hear, the whole “not sugarcoating it” stuff applies to all aspects of her which is fabulous
  10. I had a lot of femme-clothing envy this weekend but Caitlin raised the bar. Their outfits? ON POINT like whoa. Head to toe fancy and “put together” and retro and so awesome. Having them moderate the panel was a great help to my anxiety.
  11. I remember most the faces of Bex, Penny and Lena but my mind was so hyper and messed up, I know others were in my viewline but my brain didn’t register them in the memory banks
  12. As a company, you know I love them but as people? Sandra and Thor are gems and I am so amazed I get to consider them friends
  13. I really wanted to learn some photography stuff from Penny because she is amazing, but there wasn’t any time. Penny in wonderful; sweet, funny, down-to-earth and fun to be around. I think she’s great
  14. Joellen takes more introvert-time away to recharge, so I didn’t get to hang out with her nearly as much as I’d wanted but I already knew that she is fabulous and smart and bullshit-free. She is eloquent and amazing
  15. a fabulous couple, I really loved talking to them and having them around. Mary thanked me for being her inspiration to leave her toxic-toy-slinging ex-company and finally love what she is doing, and that was both weird for me to hear yet awesome
  16. Mandi is damn awesome and so fun to talk to, she is pretty and funny and sweet. At first I didn’t know who she was because I wasn’t wearing my glasses enough to see her nametag and she looks different from her avatar so I kept wondering “Who is this cool blogger?? Why don’t I know of them yet?? Must remedy”
 Posted by at 10:16 am
Aug 132015

1439404332234Months ago, I asked the FUCKING AMAZING ARTISTS at Shevibe to draw me for a business card for the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit. is also my generous sponsor; without them I wouldn’t be able to attend the Summit. I showed the art off before, and naturally am so in love with it, that it’s now my avi everywhere. But when I saw the silhouettes of sex toys in the background it inspired me to expand on that for the back side once I figured out which toys they’d used. This made me think up the contest! I’ve never done such a quick giveaway before but I hope I gave fair enough warning by mentioning it in my newsletter and talking about it on social media. 

So here we are, even better than before thanks to Tantus donating a super new Duchess O2 (shown at left – it’s the same as their Duke but with vibrator and O2 layer) as First Place prize. Second place is the Jopen Key Comet 2, in blue, and third place is the We-Vibe Glow accessory for the Tango (Tango not included, sorry). My apologies to my sight-impaired readers; I know this contest excludes you.



What You Need to Do:

Name all 17 sex toys that appear on the back side (black and gray) of my business card, from left to right, in order. 

You also need to answer this question: Which of the depicted toys have I NOT YET reviewed? Name them. 

The answers need to be all in one single comment, and shouldn’t be answered anywhere else (as in, don’t post your answer on Facebook or message me, or reblog on Tumblr with the answers).


First place winner can live anywhere and get the Duchess O2. For the others, if you want it for free, you need to live in the US. If you’re outside the US, you need to pay for shipping. How much is shipping? I don’t know yet. That depends on where you live and which prize is yours. Let’s take a stab at a max of $25. I’d be using USPS.

You need to make sure that you see “your comment is awaiting moderation” after you click “post”. If you don’t, then re-do it. I cannot control the Internet and if your comment doesn’t make it through, there’s no entry for me to count.

I will be at Woodhull during this competition, so winners will be chosen as soon as I’m able to view all of the comments and find the winners. Once winners have been determined, all comments will get published. I’ll check the spam filter section, too, don’t worry.

This should go without saying, but you should be certain that you include a WORKING email address. You may, in your comment, include your Facebook ID, your Twitter or Tumblr name but I’d advise against putting it in as a link. However, you still need to include a working email address. I will update the post to show the first three winners.

How The Winners Will Be Chosen:

Once the contest has ended, I’ll separate out everyone who got everything right. From that group, I’ll randomly select three winners. You don’t get to choose your prize; your speed in answering determines the prize. The three randomly chosen winners will be ranked by the timestamp of their comment. If you are selected and don’t want the prize you were selected for, then another winner will be chosen to replace you.

 Posted by at 12:58 pm
Jul 102015

August 13th-16th 2015 is the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, a sexuality conference that I’ll be attending (and speaking at!!) thanks to the amazing folks at Shevibe. There’s a lot of good stuff packed into this long weekend, like workshops, academies, day-long institutes and more.

The panel I’ll be on is at 10:45am on Friday (whew, not too early!) and I’ll be sharing it with a freaking stellar line-up: Caitlyn Murphy who blogs at Sexational!; Metis Black of Tantus, and Jennifer Pritchett of Smitten Kitten and I’m pretty verklempt to be in such company.

Every adult retailer, manufacturer, and sex blogger has been, at some point if not regularly, inundated with questions about topics ranging from surviving and struggling with trauma, relationships, sexual pleasure and health, anatomy, and are asked to troubleshoot issues people are having with allergic reactions to materials and ingredients in sex toys, lube, and other items. Some have risen to this call and centered sex education- sexual pleasure and health- in their businesses. Some have also attempted to rise to this call and spread misinformation in an industry that has many murky areas and lacks research. Those who try to center sex education have also encountered people who would detract them for not being a “respectable” business or topic, or claimed that they’re just providing information in order to upsell people. How do we help people access inclusive sex education as people who are often not equipped with the degrees, certifications, and resources to do so? How do we gain recognition for this work? How do we help others answer this call? This panel’s goal purpose is to answer these questions and more.

This Summit really is going to be a combination of fun and learning. There are a bunch of fun social events that trigger extreme social anxiety in me, as much as I wish they wouldn’t, and a lot of really great topics in the workshops. If you can be in DC (specifically, Alexandria VA) that weekend, you should come learn and have fun with us! A number of bloggers are going – AFemmeCock, Bex, Reenie, Epiphora, Caitlyn, JoEllen, Crista, Joan Price, Lena, Mandi, DeAnn, and…there are likely a few I’m forgetting (please remind me in comments!), and a few that I am unsure if they’re coming (I’ve been so busy with the house thing that I’m a bit out of the loop and brain is just fried lately). The point is, there will be a lot of AWESOME people at the Summit. You’ll get to see the fine folks of Shevibe, of course, and TANTUS will be there. Also listed as speakers? Buck Angel and Nina Hartley! The speaker list is really impressive, honestly.

I’m equally excited for Woodhull and terrified. My social anxiety means that I assume most people don’t/won’t like me, and in an order to be a people-pleaser I sacrifice my own needs and comforts. I’m honestly already stressing about being the “difficult one” when it comes to meals, because of the gluten thing. I don’t want to miss out on social gatherings at meals just because everyone else wants to go to a place where I won’t be able to eat. Nor do I expect people to change what they want, just to suit me.

I hold such high admiration and mini-crushes for so many bloggers and am so excited to spend time in person with all of the bloggers who are going – but the social anxiety and low self-esteem that accompany it rear their ugly heads and threaten to ruin my good time with the negative voices in my head. I will do my level best to remember that normal society expects eye contact during conversation; I will force myself to remember that when my shyness wants me to look at the ground and go quiet, others take that as a snub. Also, spending so much time around beautiful people, some of whom I’ve perved on from afar because they post very hawt photos, makes me nervous because I don’t want to be inadvertently inappropriate.  So here’s the thing if you’re also going to Woodhull: I’m far more likely to be comfortable if I don’t have to approach you first. Don’t mistake my shy and awkward self for disliking you; I’ll become more comfortable in short order. I’m more nervous to meet you than you are to meet me.



 Posted by at 1:33 pm