May 152016
 

It was September of  2013 when we first met the cast of the Jar of Melted Sex Toys aka Jar of Horrors…..

When I filled the jar May of 2013, I filled it to the lid. After seeing the Smitten Kitten original jar (which you’ll see in the video here) I knew that I could put these old sex toy bits to good use. The blue Blossom Sleeve and the clear pieces are TPR; the purple bit is from an old tentacle dildo from ZetaPaws and it was PVC probably with phthalates. I’m not sure anymore what the orange things are made of – I’d assumed TPR but they’re not deflating as much (probably because they had less fillers and softeners) so your guess is as good as mine. The sex toys had a bit of a head-start with breaking down, as they had been in storage for awhile. The Blossom Sleeve was the last thing to be shoved in. It only took three months though to have a small puddle of oil and overall content shrinkage of about and inch-ish.

wholejar meltingglitter

In November of 2013 I noticed that the liquid in the bottom of the jar seemed to have doubled. The purple thing had drifted down into the abyss a little, while also losing a bit of its mass. 

purpleshiftNovember

Fast-forward a year, to November 2014. By this time I’d already unveiled my boring Jar of Silicone in February (which is still unchanged, btw…no reactions).The purple bit which was once up to the Ball logo is now down at the bottom. Overall, the contents had fallen even further, leaving more empty space.

MeltedJarNov14 MeltedJarNov14pt2

In June of 2015 I unpacked my jars a few months after our move. Because the Jar of Horrors ended up on its side for a few months the contents really shifted. It was then that I realized that the clear, glitter-filled TPR rabbit vibe material seemed to be a glacier-like mass of goo, probably about the consistency of half-set jello, maybe? It was capable of looking like a puddle of oil or just a mass of ice. It only took a few hours of the jar being uprighted to see the glacier of goo shift and change. To be honest I was pretty fascinated.

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Today I decided to take more pictures as I come up on another year since the last time we checked it. The jar took a trip to Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit in August of 2015 so that people could see it in person, but I’d pretty much ignored the jar since then.

JarMay16-Whole JarMay16-4

JarMay16-1 JarMay16-2

JarMay16-3

I don’t think that what appears to be oil filling nearly half the jar is actually a liquid. I think it’s a combination of this clear TPR which has deflated and transformed, plus all the oil. Let’s take another look though (sorry about the noise – it’s windy today!)

 

These materials, toxic or not, are all porous and “chemically unstable”. The materials have a high amount of plasticizers (plastic softener) which is sometimes phthalates, sometimes mineral oil, sometimes….who knows what. There is oil in all of these materials; you can tell this when they start to first decompose and “sweat” and feel greasy. I believe that for some toys, even if stored alone and in proper conditions, they won’t break down very quickly. All it takes is some stop-touching-me contact though and suddenly it’s a horse of a different color – it’s like a snowball effect. They touch and the oils from each somehow start a reaction in the other toy. This multiplies and continues; the more oil, the more touching, the more it all deforms and deflates and oozes. The liquid in the jar is heavy and thick like mineral oil, maybe even a little thicker than that. It’s fascinating in a science-geek way. It’s gross because this is how these crappy materials behave, this is how unstable they are and thousands upon thousands of people are using them. They don’t know because they assume that if these materials are being sold to us, then they must be safe. They don’t start researching online until something bad happens – until their sex toy deforms in their drawer, grows mold (which shows up at first as black dots) or burns their genitals.

And lest you think that this only happens in certain conditions, like a jar, I can point you to other images. Like this time that a reviewer left a TPR masturbation sleeve on the PVC head of the Doxy Wand for an extended period of time (past his use of it).

 Posted by at 11:49 am
Apr 212016
 

DIY setup for making my own vaginal THC suppositories like Foria Relief. Photo shows finished domed nuggets of pea-green cocoa butter, a mini ice cube mold, mixing bowl, jar of cocoa butter and syringe of medical THC oil.Foria became known to the sex toy world when they created a THC-enhanced lube that has gotten a range of reactions; but I’m not talking about any of that today. I’m talking about Foria’s latest product which is sadly not available to most of the US – the Foria Relief vaginal suppositories.  Yeah, I know, this isn’t my usual topic but it still involves Lilly being a geek, doing experiments.

Not long after Foria released Relief my Twitter timeline was buzzing with reactions and opinions – from “Cool” (mixed with damn, I wish I could have this) to some really infuriating, uneducated judgment and misconceptions. I expected better from the people I follow because they’re mostly pretty open-minded folks. No, you’re not “shoving weed up your vagina”, you’re not going to get high and yes, it’s perfectly fucking healthy. Let me assure you that using any Foria product or any topical THC item (or really any form of cannabis that isn’t burning the flower to ashes) is a whole lot healthier than drinking alcohol – which is quite easily socially accepted. It is certainly healthier than taking prescription or OTC pain relievers.

I live in Connecticut and have a medical marijuana card. I officially received it to help me deal with anxiety related to PTSD and I also unofficially use it for pain relief and all of the health benefits that come from CBD (the non-psychotropic other beneficial component to marijuana). Here’s something that most people do not know: Using THC topically will not get you stoned. It will work quickly, and safely, to relieve pain wherever it is applied.

A few days before my experiment I started having bad menstrual cramps – uncommonly bad. Nearly always my cramps are silenced with 3 Advil, but not this time. My mind immediately went to the Foria Relief suppositories but I, of course, didn’t have them and can’t get them. I do, however, have concentrated THC oil in syringes which I use to make my own medibles and my own topical pain relief. Nothing else on the planet has given me pain relief in my feet (I suffer from severe, incurable plantar fasciitis or something else that they have yet to diagnose) and I easily get to the point now where I am in agony just to hobble around after moderate activity but a home-made foot spray gives me short-lived relief. At one point in my life I was getting expensive (painful, useless, unhealthy-for-me) corticosteroid shots in my back. I relied on patches that I would plaster all over my lower back – one for pain relief, one to relax the muscles. These methods barely worked. Topical THC in a coconut oil salve works nearly immediately and almost totally with zero side effects. It’s only drawback is that it tends to only last 1-3 hours. So I’m well-versed in how and why these Foria Relief suppositories work.

Now, this isn’t a review specifically for Foria Relief since, as I said, I can’t get them. But after reading a few other reviews – one of which was super informative despite the irritating headline – I learned what the suppositories are made of and decided to create my own. My current syringe of oil doesn’t have much CBD in it so my version is 96% THC composition, 4% CBD. Mine are also an odd shade of green (from the yellowish hue of cocoa butter plus dirty-motor-oil-brown of the THC concentrated oil-goo) but that’s okay. At first I tried to just use the coconut oil salve I already had on hand, but I ended up with a mess as coconut oil quickly seeped out of me. I did shove a thumb-sized chunk of solid coconut oil in my vag, after all. I also temporarily had a sort of itchy vulva but I think it was just from the sensation of the oil slowly leaking out of me? It may also have been a tingling sensation from the THC since I’d never experienced topical THC on the sensitive mucous membranes. I’ve never had an itchy vulva from coconut oil before. I celebrated 4/20 by making my own more “proper” suppositories with cocoa butter. Even with the smaller amount of melty stuff in my DIY suppositories, oil still leaked out of me. I feel like this would pair best with a menstrual cup, perhaps, to help keep the melted oils in your vagina while you wait for the cannabis magic to happen – which incidentally happens pretty quick. I get much faster pain relief from topical THC than I do from swallowing a few Advil.

Whether it was the spur-of-the-moment low “dose” coconut oil or the homemade 60mg THC “pastille” shaped domes, I experienced something amazing. I can tell you more of how I made these if anybody wants to know but I think I know what you are really here to find out: Did it work?

Skeptics, marijuana critics, judgy-Judys and the ill-informed can shut the hell up because this was a godsend. Even my “back cramps” went away. I don’t think I really needed to make these as strong as I did and I will try out breaking a piece in half for the next time. The cost of the THC oil, for me, was $70 for 760 mg and I made 12 very strong suppositories. Is this affordable? Not for most. Is this available to everyone? Sadly no, but you’re more likely able to DIY a cannabis suppository than buy Foria Relief which is only available in California. If you suffer from debilitating menstrual cramps and currently take liver- and stomach-harming pain relievers that come with a host of unwanted side effects, this will be a welcome relief if you can find a way to get it.  I will be saving these for the bad days, when I can’t ignore the cramps and instead of reaching for Advil I’ll use my THC suppositories. The only thing that the cannabis suppositories don’t relieve is the phenomenon known as period poops and the nausea that many sometimes also have in the first few days. It was disheartening when my uterus cramps died off but my intestinal cramps did not. Still, something was better than nothing. I am currently writing this 4 hours after my last dose and am still pain-free from uterine cramps.

If you’re in Canada you can get Cannalife products but they don’t yet have a special suppository – they do have a Foria Pleasure-like genital oil. There’s the Salve1 which I can attest to working well as a pain relief salve but the odor is very musky and earthy and not really my favorite. It does indicate use for menstrual cramp pain relief, they’re just not outright saying “shove a thimblefull up your vag” so before you try that, consider asking the company first. The ingredients in the salve are all body-safe.

 

Author’s Note: I wasn’t compensated by anyone to write this post, and I’m not partnered with Foria or representing them here. I’m writing about this because I want to; it’s a product I needed and a product that many are skeptical about. If you want to know more about how cannabis and sex relate to each other, please go check out my friend Ashley’s site, Cannasexual.

 

 

  1. I used this stuff on my gallbladder removal surgery scars and my doctor was amazed at my 2-week followup on how well I’d healed in that time. It didn’t help the extreme itch from the healing but it made the wounds less painful, it made the muscles they cut into hurt a lot less and I didn’t need to use the Percocet they prescribed me.
 Posted by at 4:28 pm
Apr 102016
 

13 Tips to remove odors from your butt plug - photo shows a purple butt plug on a kitchen towel with coconut oil, vinegar and baking soda containers in the backgroundMany people like to wear a butt plug overnight or during the day, and we’re all told that silicone is a fabulous sex toy material – truly body-safe, essentially non-porous1, able to be sanitized, etc. Yet for all day wear like this it’s a secondary material to glass or stainless steel. Some people are not able to afford a good glass or steel butt plug or may have found that the material doesn’t feel as comfortable to them for all day wear2, so they stick with silicone only to find that sometimes when the plug is removed it basically smells like a fart. When you’re dealing with butt play, shit happens3.

I’ve talked to people who have even experienced some staining if they wore it for long enough and their rectum wasn’t completely free of fecal matter4; this can happen after one use or slowly over time. They all wonder how this can happen with silicone, it’s non-porous! It’s safe! Yes, but this isn’t uncommon. I’ve had it happen with silicone kitchen stuff – never let tomato sauce stick around on those more expensive, softer silicone spatulas, let me tell you. Also, never use a silicone ice cube tray for making ice cubes from anything smelly5. Softer silicone is more apt to staining. If the staining issue would be a concern to you, then purchase black or very dark-colored silicone plugs.

From what I’ve read the odors on your silicone sex toy tend to happen because the bond between the oil-soluble odors and the silicone is strong. One of the better tips I’ve seen therefore involves oil – smearing the silicone plug with coconut oil for a little while and then washing it well with a very mild soap and hot tap water. I’ve also heard that if you use a plant-based oil as your lube (and thoroughly coat the silicone toy with it) it can prevent the odors from clinging to the silicone.  Many people have reported that boiling their sex toy does nothing – while some have reported that a long (30 minutes) boil has helped.

Keep in mind that you should consider checking with the manufacturer of your plug before trying these. Tantus specifically has recommending baking but will this work for cheap $20 silicone butt plugs? I don’t know. I’d assume so, but I’m obviously not an expert on every brand.

13 Tips for removing odors from your butt plug:

  1. DO NOT shove the stinking plug into a plastic bag or other container and shut it. This will only trap the odors and make it worse.
  2. Try to simply air it out for a day or three. Even better if you can get it exposed to sunlight for awhile.
  3. Boil it! Add a little vinegar to the water, but don’t boil straight vinegar. This only works if the toy is 100% silicone, no other materials. (this option has worked less often)
  4. Bake it! Yep. Start out at 250 degrees for 20 minutes6. This only works if the toy is 100% silicone, no other materials.
  5. Some menstrual-cup companies recommend a brief soak in hydrogen peroxide, but I’ve also read that this could degrade silicone. Try it as a last resort.
  6. Try soaking it in room-temperature vinegar. A 15-30 minute soak should do the trick. Please be sure to wash it well as soon as you remove it from the soak, soap and water, and then let it air dry for awhile.
  7. Try soaking it in a 10% bleach solution. Please be sure to wash it well as soon as you remove it from the soak, soap and water. (this option has worked less often)
  8. Try soaking it in a liquid solution of Oxyclean for 15-20 minutes. Follow with a good wash in warm tap water and a mild soap.
  9. Create a solution of baking soda water – maybe a cup of baking soda in 4 cups of water, doesn’t need to be scientific. Soak for an hour to a few hours. Rinse well, air dry.
  10. DO NOT ever boil a bleach solution!
  11. Smear it first with coconut oil, let it sit like this for an hour or two and then wash well with mild soap and warm water.
  12. Don’t be afraid to try a few of these tips if one of them doesn’t dispatch the smell/stain 100%
  13. Try a bit of preventative measure: Pick up unlubed condoms (because most use a cheap silicone lube) and cover the plug with the condom; to be extra safe I’d recommend bringing the condom down over the base and tying it off like a balloon.

None of these options will work though if your sex toy isn’t actually silicone. Make sure that it’s not PVC, rubber, TPR, etc. If it is, then simply throw out the stink bomb and buy something in a better material.

If you have additional tips or can report one of these working well/not at all for you, please comment below and let us know!

  1. I say essentially because it is technically porous, but bacteria/mildew/yeast/etc cannot live in the pores
  2. Although every report I’ve had about the Njoy Pure Plugs has deemed the very comfortable for all-day wear
  3. Sorry. I couldn’t resist.
  4. And I think it has to do with your body, your health, etc
  5. Before I found powdered buttermilk I would freeze my liquid buttermilk in cubes since a carton would go bad before it could all be used up in baking recipes – after doing this twice the silicone retained an odor I couldn’t remove, but then I never tried these tricks. It was no doubt the fat in buttermilk making the odor stick around
  6. Tantus has stated it’s safe for their silicone to go to 350 degrees for 30 minutes
 Posted by at 1:14 pm
Mar 232016
 

Sex toys and condoms - Should you really cover your sex toy with a condom? Shown are 3 dildos with condom wrappers, one of the dildos is a clear, red jelly dildo covered in a condomFor as long as I’ve known about porous and toxic sex toys I’ve heard the old “cover it with a condom and you’re fine” mantra1. It’s an oft-used phrase to make buying a toxic or porous toy seem more “safe” than it is and I am starting to get really cranky about how easily this is bandied about. I can understand how someone came up with this idea – a condom is a great barrier against STI’s and pregnancy, so shouldn’t it work in this situation? Well, that depends on a number of factors, like the situation and the condom material. It’s true, not all condoms are created equal for these purposes – and bad news: the condoms that are right for these situations are probably not the condoms you already have in your drawer. So if you’re going to use, or recommend to others the use of, a condom on a sex toy please make sure that it’s the right condom otherwise you’ll end up with sad toys or mad genitals. At the end of the day I’d really like to see this band-aid “solution” recommended a lot less, but I think that most educators and reviewers say it as a last-ditch attempt to keep others safe; those who insist on using porous sex toys. We want you to be safe and would rather you avoid porous insertable sex toys2 but we know that some of you are going to use these materials anyway.

A note for those new around here: I talk about toxic and porous toys separately. Not all porous toys are toxic. TPR/TPE is non-toxic, but still porous and still breaks down and sweats oil.

Using A Condom to Protect Yourself from Toxic Chemicals

Absolutely no research has been done to prove that this is true. Of course, no official research as been done to prove it’s not true, either. I’ve heard from numerous people that they still experienced a burning sensation despite covering a toxic sex toy with a condom. One person confirmed that the condoms they’d tried were latex and polyisoprene and they still felt the burn; neither of those condom types play well with oil. Why does that matter? All porous sex toys have oils in them. This jar is proof of that! When the toys sweat/break down, even just a little, there’s a constant sheen of oil on them. This oil will render latex condoms so porous that it’s useless against the fight. You might be able to succeed with using polyurethane condoms or nitrile condoms but again this is a theory and not proven. Polyurethane and nitrile are safe with oils but I don’t know if they’re a barrier against the toxic chemicals in some sex toys. If you’re going to take the risk on sil-a-gel, sex toys with phthalates, “jelly” sex toys and more, at least use the right condom to have a shot at this theory working. 

For the photos I put a Trojan Magnum condom on this disgusting jelly dildo3 I have; I left it on there for maybe 5 minutes while I took some photos. Then I decided to try and cover the whole sex toy with the latex condom – after all they’re stretchy enough to cover a large fist and go up to the elbow, surely it could cover the whole jelly dildo, right? Wrong. The condom broke about 30 seconds after this pic was snapped when I tried to stretch it a little farther – the ring came off and the condom tore lengthwise a little. Then I put a Magnum over the Tantus dildo in the photo and was able to stretch it over the balls, the base and have more room leftover to theoretically tie it off like a balloon if I had more nimble fingers – Also, I was very careful with the condoms when stretching them over the dildos, but then I stopped being careful with the condom over the silicone Tantus. I stretched it out more at the opening, and even held the dildo up by the part of the condom I was grasping in my fingers in the photo. The condom that spent a little time on the oily dildo tore easily. The condom over the silicone dildo remained tough and intact.

Photo shows a latex condom stretched over the whole red jelly dildo, including base and balls  Photo shows a discarded condom with the base ring torn off laying next to a large purple silicone dildo that has been covered entirely in a condom, from tip to base  Photo shows me pulling a condom entirely over the base of a large purple Tantus dildo, able to twist excess condom tightly as if to tie it off like a balloon.

tl;dr: No latex condoms. Only polyurethane or nitrile. Or just stop buying potentially toxic materials, and if you must must must buy cheap porous toys, then buy TPE/TPR if you can’t have silicone. I mean I’d rather you avoid all porous materials but I realize I can’t have it all.

Using a Condom to Extend the Life4 of Porous Sex Toys

Again we have the wrong-condom issue: most condoms that people buy are the kind that are useless in the face of any oils5; but to really protect the toy (and yourself) you would have to cover the entirety of the sex toy to really really be safe. Even if you cover most of the dildo, part of it is still quite likely to get into contact with your bodily fluids and could retain bacteria, etc. These microorganisms would spread inside the porous material, past the surface. Remember, with a porous sex toy you can really only clean the very surface. You would have to probably use two condoms, one over each end, overlapping a lot, to really be sure. But that’s 2 polyurethane condoms a pop – the best price I can find on Amazon has them at $1.58 each.  That’s $3.16 per use if you’re going to really make it worth the effort.  So unless the item you want simply cannot be had at all in silicone…I don’t see why you’d save money by buying a porous toy and then pour money in a slow trickle down the drain with condoms. Having never used polyurethane condoms, I don’t know if they’re as stretchy as latex condoms. I was able to get a Magnum condom to cover the entirety of the Tantus dildo in the photos and maybe even leave enough room to tie it off like a balloon (if I had more nimble fingers), so if your sex toy has no balls, you could use one condom in this manner, for money-saving purposes.

Edited to Add: The morning after writing this I decided to locate one of the TPR toys I bought for testing purposes. Unlike the red jelly dildo above, this TPR toy didn’t feel greasy to my fingers. It’s a pretty firm TPR, too. I put the latex condom on, first rolled it all the way down to the bottom and then rolled it up just partway to show that it wasn’t baggy on there, it was snug. I rolled it back down just a little bit closed to the handle, maybe another inch, and left it alone. Then I walked away for a little while (an hour at most? I kinda forgot about it while I responded to an irritating email and then made coffee) and came back. I tried to roll the condom the rest of the way down to see if I could tell a difference between the latex actually on the toy vs the latex that wasn’t touching the toy because it wasn’t fully unrolled. The condom promptly tore. You can see how the condom looks more “roomy”, like a bag, and retained some weird texturing from the dildo. 

4 images show a latex condom rolled over a pink, translucent vibrator made of TPR. In 2 photos the condom is snug fitting and intact, and in 2 other photos the condom has torn while part of the condom remains on the dildo

Making it Easier to Keep a Somewhat-Porous Sex Toy Free of Stains

One of the few instances that I can get behind the “throw a condom on it” mantra on is for things like the Magic Wand Original and similarly-made wands. The material is still kinda porous, but doesn’t seem to be as porous as the soft materials (the more softening agent that is added, the more porous a toy becomes and the more likely you’re going to see telltale signs of hitchhikers. Also I’ve never seen a Magic Wand head deteriorate like most porous toys), but the Magic Wand WILL stain if you’re bleeding and the leather-like texture makes cleaning difficult. In these particular cases, since these wand heads aren’t chemically unstable and sweating oils, latex or polyisoprene will be okay.

tl;dr: No latex condoms. Only polyurethane or nitrile on porous toys. Better yet, stick with non-porous materials like silicone, glass, and metal and never worry again!

Using a Condom on Non-Porous Toys

The only times I really think it’s necessary at all to use a condom on a non-porous sex toy is when you want to use a sex toy both anally and vaginally in the same session but don’t have the means / ability to properly sanitize in between uses OR if you’re in a situation where sex toys are being shared about the room with people you aren’t fluid-bonded with. Or if you’re bleeding and just don’t want to deal with the extra hassle of blood on your vibrators buttons, you could put a non-lubed condom over the handle. 

In these situations, especially if you’re putting the condom on silicone sex toys, I highly highly recommend buying non-lubricated condoms. I didn’t know this until recently but the vast majority of condoms are lubricated with silicone lube. We don’t know what kind, so I’d not recommend combining it with a silicone sex toy. Some high quality silicone lubes are fine with high quality silicone sex toys (like Tantus and Pjur are said to be best buds), but there are a bunch of different types of silicone that can be used in a lube, and most are used in a combination, so I don’t know which condoms would be considered safe with high quality sex toys – condom makers almost never tell you the ingredients of the lube on their condoms. There are some condoms that are rumored to use water-based lube, but I suspect most (if not all) would contain ingredients that are best avoided by most people. Also, there are lists I’ve seen claiming so-and-so’s particular condom uses a water-based lube but they got their info from the manufacturers, and I don’t know how long ago this was – formulas can change and I can’t get confirmation from the manufacturer’s websites.  So again, I’m back to recommending non-lubricated condoms.

I’ve seen it recommended occasionally that you should always use a condom on your sex toy, even if it’s non-porous, being used in a single hole by a single person with no current infections – i.e. best-case situation. I can totally understand wanting a condom for anal use for easier clean-up, but I’m less convinced of the need for vaginal use, personally. There are quick, easy, and cheap ways to clean or sanitize your sex toys if they are made from a non-porous material. But if it makes you feel better, if you cannot possibly stand the thought of using them without, then go right ahead but again….non-lubricated condoms, please. You can buy them singularly for 50 cents each at SheVibe, by the 100 at Amazon (Atlas Brand) or a value pack at Amazon of Trojan Enz.

tl:dr: non-lubricated condoms!

Unfortunately, I have not been able to find a non-lubricated non-latex condom. If you have latex allergies I don’t know what to tell you here; the non-latex condoms all have silicone lube in them. I suppose you could try to rinse out the silicone lube but that seems unlikely, since silicone repels water.

 

  1. myth?
  2. Porous penetratable sex toys are kinda unavoidable for the most part and there are definitely non-toxic brands that I recommend, but ya gotta keep a really close eye on these materials for sour smells and black spots
  3.  Yes, I have an old “true” jelly dildo in my possession. I was sent it for testing purposes, to see what would happen to condoms (wanted to see if I could test for myself how quickly/obviously the latex would deteriorate on something like this dildo). The dildo smells of chemicals, and feels oily.
  4. And in theory protect yourself from whatever is living in your porous toy
  5. The reason? There’s really only one brand making a polyurethane condom so it’s not a majority leader on the shelf
 Posted by at 5:55 pm
Jan 312016
 

Looking for the most powerful G-spot vibrator? I list out 5 powerful g-spot vibrator that will rock your world. Some people, like me, need a seriously powerful G-spot vibrator. A little over 4 years ago a comment came in on a review for the Jopen Vanity VR6 – at the time the vibrator with the most powerful, most rumbly internal vibrations I’d ever felt – to ask if I still felt the same way about it after 8 months. At the time, I did. Over the years I would go back and update the post but the last update was in 2013 and my, how times have changed.

I no longer have to resort to finagling an ill-fitting rabbit vibrator just to experience internal vibrations that will rock the socks off not only my G-spot, but my internal clitoris. I have CHOICES! But I’m not just looking for a powerful G-spot vibrator – I’m looking for a seriously *rumbly* powerful G-spot vibrator. The rumbles make it powerful. I happen to be a rumble aficionado, doncha know. My genitals are a divining rod for rumble. Many a copywriter – and even a few reviewers – have tried to tell me “This is rumbly” but nay nay, I detected buzz. I have scoffed at vibrator claims of being the most powerful and “seriously rumbly“.  For a vibrator to be on this list, it must be devoid of buzz. I must be able to say “Hey, if Barry White’s voice were a vibrator, this might be it”.  Please note that this list is only for G-spot vibrators. I may end up doing a post on the top 10 most rumbly vibrators, period, if that’s of interest.

1.  We-Vibe Rave – The new Rave is currently the most powerful G-spot vibrator I own. It overpowers my beloved L’amourose Prism V and Rosa Rouge. It has a unique, asymmetrical shape to it that allows for a twisting motion to ping the g-spot, rather than just thrusting. It’s a very unique sensation, but less unique to those who have already been a fan of Laid dildos. Due to the shorter stature overall, and my laziness, the shape of the Rave doesn’t win out for me over the shape of the Prism V but I cannot deny that the Rave is indeed a damn powerful G-spot vibrator. It’s excellent for external use, too, as are all of these.

2. L’amourose Prism V – The Prism V gets second place which is technically a tie because the Rave is a bit more powerful; however the shape of the Prism V absolutely enchants my G-spot. It allows me to do minimal work for maximum pressure. It challenges my dildo preferences (which I usually prefer in the 1.75″ wide range) by being fairly slender, but the rigidity and curve remind me of my utterly beloved Pure Wand – it’s probably the closest thing to Pure Wand + Awesome Vibration as I’ll ever get.  The Prism VII works well too, but it’s billed as a dual-stim vibe and for me it fails as that. It could be the answer for a powerful prostate vibrator, though.

3. L’amourose Rosa / Rosa Rouge – Rosa Rouge was my first L’amourose love, and continues to be but I like it for external use where I can feel the heat the most. I really think L’amourose underestimates how much more effective the heat is on the vulva and clitoris vs internal. The Rosa / Rosa Rouge is a little more quiet than the Prism V but just as powerful. You’d prefer the Rosa if you are NOT a fan of firm pressure and want a vibrator with a little give to it. Naturally the Denia is the dual-stim equivalent, and also holds a strong place in my heart. Despite the fact that I use the Rosa Rouga externally more often than internally, I still feel that the Rosa is a fabulous g-spot vibe. It was the first vibrator in a very long time that got me excited about internal vibrations. Thrusters will love the not-overly subtle ridge at the bottom of the head, and the thinner body will appeal to those who want some girth at their g-spot but not their vaginal entrance. I’ve read glowing reviews about the Rosa as a prostate vibrator; it has downfalls for that aspect, which I can explain if you want to hear about it.

4. Fun Factory G5 – You’ll notice I didn’t list a particular model. I have the Patchy Paul but really I think any of the G5’s fit the bill as a powerful G-spot vibrator. The thick silicone does dampen vibration a little (which was why I didn’t love the G4 line, it didn’t feel impressive enough to me) but it is an option for those who don’t like solid, rigid g-spot vibrators with a hefty curve or for those who need girth (which the G5 Big Boss can deliver) for their g-spot instead of a curved head. The ribs on the Patchy Paul and ridges on the Tiger combined with Fun Factory’s draggy silicone can provide the tug and “tap” on the g-spot that many prefer over pressure. One caveat: Even if you’re not someone who normally needs lube, you’ll probably need lube with FF’s silicone. It’s very draggy/textured compared to Lelo/L’amourose/We-Vibe/Je Joue. Also: The Tiger has a bit of a flare to make it anal-safe, so this is potentially a prostate option. Pick up something awesome here.

5. Evolved Novelties Roulette LineIt’s been a long time since I reviewed one of these and now I own two. The Evolved Roulette line is a battery-powered silicone powerhouse vibrator. Rumbly and deep, it packs a serious (albeit kinda noisy) punch. The single wheel makes one-handed use a snap, and the silicone, while firm, still has bend and give to it. For those who can’t afford a rechargeable vibrator yet, this would be a great place to start. It’s powered by 2 AA batteries and to get the most bang I’d suggest using those extra-powerful batteries meant for electronics. They do seem to have a bit of an edge over standard Duracells but admittedly this can become a pricey habit. 

Because I can’t leave well enough alone, I have to sneak a bonus recommendation in here. It doesn’t really fit the bill and I think that the others will be gentler on your wallet but hey, it is a versatile suggestion.  This option is something I mentioned in an update to the original post and while it’s a less satisfactory option due to price, it’s still something to consider: The Lelo Smart Wand Large coupled with a topper like the Vixen Gee Whizzard. The Gee Whizzard (or Whiz) is a more pliable silicone and won’t provide pressure but the deep, rumbling vibrations from the Smart Wand Large turn the Gee Whiz into a seriously powerful G-spot vibrator and you get multiple toys in one! The Smart Wand Large is significantly more rumbly than any other wand on the market right now and as such the vibrations from it travel through dildo-wand-toppers so much better than the Magic Wand for which they were made. Unfortunately it comes with Lelo’s spotty customer service and a recent Lelo price hike which has turned this combo into something seriously pricey.

Those of you who love the Lelo Mona 2 might be side-eyeing me really hard right now for not putting it on the list. I feel like the vibrations on it dampen quite a bit for g-spot use and I simply enjoy the vibrations of the Rave and L’amourose considerably more than the Mona. If you feel I’ve made a terrible error in leaving out one of your favorites, let me know and I’ll debate it with you, haha. Or try it for myself.

Oct 212015
 

Brainwavz

The We-Vibe Tango is my all-time favorite vibrator because it delivers on rumbles and power like no other pinpoint clitoral vibrator can. It’s versatile, too. But the biggest complaint is that there is no travel-lock setting on it, which makes air travel with the We-Vibe Tango next to impossible. People fear that it will just turn on in their luggage, prompting chaos as it is mistaken for a bomb. When you have only a single, exposed push button that doesn’t require you to press and hold for a few seconds, accidental turn-ons can happen. That said…I’ve traveled with the Tango in my luggage/purse a bunch of times1, and have never had anything accidentally press the button hard enough to turn it on.

But I still wanted to find a protective case in part because people ask me about traveling with it a lot (actually, they often ask: what else can I bring that has a travel lock that is as good as the Tango and the answer is always NOTHING). And I finally found something that is 99% perfect. I scoured Amazon2 for a case that fit what I needed: 3.5″ long inside, not round, hardshell, affordable (preferably Prime shipping, too). After a few returns, I found one that comes as close to perfect as we’ll get until Standard Innovations takes my idea and runs with it3.

The Brainwavz case may not be your favorite colors, I know, but it doesn’t seem to come in any color other than a black case with a red zipper and red pockets inside. The reasons why it’s nearly perfect: It’s rectangular on the 3.5″ side, which means the Tango isn’t going to move around any. It’s snug in there on the diagonal and this means that the button is protected. It’s a hard shell case, so it can’t get crunched in your bag and have the button inside pressed. The pouches inside perfectly keep the Tango and charger in place (it can fit the cable and charging piece just fine, or you can put the cable elsewhere and just have the charging connector in the case). The zippers are good quality and the overall pouch can flex slightly….which leads me to the reason I said it’s 99% perfect. It’s a fraction smaller than 3.5″ on the diagonal inside the case, which means the Tango is very snugly in there and slightly deforms the case a bit on the corners4. It’s not enough that it affects the ability for the case to be zipped, it doesn’t strain the zipper and in time it’ll probably conform to your Tango better without the case looking slightly wonky.

Brainwavz1 Brainwavz2 Brainwavz3

As you can see in the close-up picture, the button of the Tango essentially has a protective dome over it because of the way it’s in the case. I’ve tried everything I could think of, nothing I did to the case turned the Tango on. Like hearing angels sing I knew I finally found a safe way to travel with the We-Vibe Tango, worry-free.

Since it’s apparently not an obscure brand of earphones, Brainwavz Audio, I found the exact same case at Amazon Canada and Amazon UK. It’s available on Prime everywhere, looks like. Right now it’s around $10USD, $13CAD and £9.

  1. not by plane, though but it was often just rolling around naked in my bag
  2. No sex toys, but for other stuff yes I’ll occasionally shop there
  3. Would I get royalties? That’d be awesome
  4. This deformity only applies to the NEW Tango, the one that comes in bright blue, hot pink or white (with the kit) – if you have an older model Tango or Salsa then it fits perfectly without pushing the edges of the case, while still being perfectly snug and safe
 Posted by at 10:30 am