Lilly

Jan 052015
 

The Bubble Love and Dilly sitting on the edge of a bath tubIf you have a clitoris, chances are fairly decent you figured out years ago that your bathtub faucet is pretty awesome (lucky people had the detachable showerhead). The tub faucet never did anything for me, but the jet spray on the showerhead sure did 1. The force of the water was a pretty decent substitution for me for powerful vibrations.  Last year while visiting someone with a bathtub with built-in jets, I was able to maneuver myself in front of a jet well enough to reach orgasm – but it was not comfortable and I think I pulled a groin muscle. I’m too old and fat for these antics. So in a situation where a detachable showerhead isn’t an option, Bubble Love could save you.

One of my first thoughts on the Bubble Love was “Why not just buy a detachable showerhead that has a jet spray option? You’ll save $140″. Well, valid point. A showerhead’s jet spray can’t be adjusted in terms of “intensity” unless you get a super fancy one with more than 3 settings and the jet spray on a shower head doesn’t feel like the faucet you may know and love.  BUT if you fill up your bathtub and the hose on the showerhead is long enough, you could use the jet spray under water much like using the Bubble Love and adjust “intensity” by positioning it farther from your vulva. The Bubble Love can be adjusted too, by either using the dial on top or moving the unit so that it is closer to you or farther away. Bubble Love does say in their marketing that a mere hose-driven showerhead will not be nearly as pleasurable as the Bubble Love but I’d have to disagree a bit.

I’m finding myself really torn on the Bubble Love and a lot of it comes down to price – because when a sex toy costs over $60 many people have trouble justifying it. When it costs over $150, most people have trouble justifying it. It has to be awesome, it has to really be worth the price tag. So that’s the big question for me – is Bubble Love good enough to plonk down $179? I would say yes IF you can say yes to most of these:

1. You only have a bathtub with no chance for a shower head. This is self-explanatory. I kinda feel like the showerhead (be it alone or put under the water with you) is just about as good, for a fraction of the cost.

2. You’ve tried some vibrators and just don’t like how they feel compared to being under the running water of your bathtub’s faucet. I’ve had more than one person come to me, asking for a sex toy that feels more like their bathtub faucet and I thought that this could be something special that I could recommend.  And Bubble Love is pretty powerful if you have it close enough to you (but then, so is the jet spray on a shower head). But when vibrators like the Tango, the Rosa, Je Joue Uma, and now even the beloved-by-most-except-for-me Lelo Mona 2 are waterproof and submersible AND cost less (well, except for the Rosa but goddamn is that thing worth the price tag, both versions) AND can be used in or out of the water? You have a lot of bathtime options.

3. You take frequent baths and keep your tub immaculately clean. Of course, being a frequent bath-taker means you’re getting your money’s worth. But also, your bathtub needs to be super clean. No lingering chemicals, no ring around tub. In fact if you’re taking a bath to get clean, I might even go so far as to say that you should leave Bubble Love until you’re taking a bath just to soak and relax. It might seem obvious but Bubble Love is taking the water in your tub and shooting it at your vulva at a fairly high pressure. If the water isn’t clean this could lead to infections or itching. 

4. You don’t have reach issues or disabilities that would make holding it in place difficult (similarly, you are not a plus-sized person with a teeny tub). I had thought that the Bubble Love could be hands-free once positioned properly, great for people with disabilities or reach issue but it’s not. It is certainly advertised as being hands-free. Sure there’s a peg with a suction cup but that suction cup doesn’t work  – by their nature if you pull on the suction cup at an angle you can break the seal. The back end of the Bubble Love is heavy enough that it leans back and despite the suction cup peg being on a ball joint, it still releases the suction. So despite being advertised that way, it was never hands-free for me. Maybe I’m being unrealistic but for the infrequent times I take a bath, I’m trying to relax. The buoyancy of the water makes my joints feel better, the warm water makes me sleepy, etc. I want a lazy masturbation experience, too. I don’t want to hold the damn thing.  Also? I’m a larger person. The average older tub is not big enough for me to have much space between my knees let alone allow me to spread my legs easily and due to the way I’m built, this is kinda necessary for a session with the Bubble Love. In order to even use this for review I had to wait until I was staying somewhere with a larger-than-average tub. Even then, disaster ensued (you can see why in the video, and read more in the Dilly section).

5. You don’t need utter discretion. It’s a little noisy. The sound of the motor running isn’t Magic Wand noisy but people will wonder what you’re doing in there. Bathrooms notoriously amplify sound, anyways. In addition to the sound of the motor itself, there’s the port where the Bubble Love sucks in air (I call it the blowhole because the whole thing looks like the Twitter Fail Whale) with a schlurping loud sound if you get water in that port during use 2. Many of the better vibrators will be quite a bit less noisy.  Noise aside, there’s the unit. It doesn’t look like a sex toy, that’s for sure. But you will need to drain the water from it and leave it out to dry, and then find a place to store it. It’s larger than your average vibrator.  I’m not about to leave it sitting out all the time. I don’t have a space for it.

I wanted to love the Bubble Love.  But out of the 5 points listed above I only have #5 going for me and that’s not enough to justify it for myself. I can recommend and appreciate a great sex toy even if it’s not my cup of tea so it’s not a matter of being too subjective in this case.  The stream of water definitely is powerful, so it has that going for it, which is something. You won’t find a $40 tub attachment with this powerful of a jet stream, but you can with a showerhead. If the Bubble Love were priced a lot lower – closer to $100? – I might be less critical overall.  But since it IS powerful and it is rechargeable, I don’t doubt that it is priced where it needs to be. It is a quality machine and a product that works mostly as advertised (…except for that hands-free bit which I was never able to replicate).  My problem with the Bubble Love isn’t really with the Bubble Love itself, it’s simply the fact that it’s really only going to be compatible for a small margin of people. Since I wasn’t one of those people, it did color my view BUT I am notoriously a very picky sex toy reviewer who finds, notices and cares about certain faults where most others do not. I really don’t want to crap on the company and I definitely don’t feel that this sex toy should be passed up by everyone – but it will take a certain alignment of stars for the Bubble Love to be the match for you.

I also can’t ignore this wording on their site: “Every woman who has used Bubble Love achieved orgasms and did it faster than with the typical vibrator.” Did I achieve orgasm? Yes. Faster than my Tango or Rosa Rouge? No. Would I continually choose the Bubble Love over my favorite vibrators? Absolutely not. Between the assertions that the Bubble Love is hands-free and the promises that it is better than a vibrator and that “all women” loved it, I’m actually feeling like a failure here for having issues with it and NOT loving it.

Dilly, inserted and supported, everything looks fine. Dilly, inserted and somewhat not supported, you can see it flops downward, and it wobbles in the water.

Optional “Dilly” Attachment

Dilly. No. Just, no. First, it’s an extra $40. Second, it is attached like a really loose tooth via ball joint. Remember that? When you had a loose tooth and it was hanging on by a thread, you could waggle it and turn it and still it stayed there? That’s what the Dilly was like for me, except that it came loose far more easily than a tooth. I had the coordination  of a drunk baby trying to insert it into my vagina while holding the Bubble Love’s handle AND the Dilly AND keeping myself from slipping down the tub and etc – it was almost comical and almost a tragic accident. Picture this: I’m in a tub that, when sitting, my feet don’t touch the other end. This means my ass slips down a bit until my toes can touch. So I’ve got one leg partially resting on the tub edge leaving me with one foot to keep myself above water. I’m trying to get the Dilly inserted and it’s not working. Suddenly, the Dilly detaches from the Bubble Love and clunks loudly on the tub bottom. I lose my grasp on the Bubble Love’s handle. Like a deflating balloon, the Bubble Love is now scooting around the tub haphazardly by itself at an alarming rate (just like in the video below). I get sprayed in the face. There’s water everywhere. My foot slips from the tub and I start to slide down into the water all because I’m trying to sit up and reach forward for the manic Bubble Love twirling around and shut it off. At this point I’m pissed and most certainly NOT relaxed and I fling the Dilly across the bathroom.

 

UPDATE: I don’t know how I didn’t see this yesterday. I’d noticed a few black scuff marks on the Bubble Love, and I don’t know how they got there. But today as I was putting it away I notice faint yellow discolorations. I don’t know how it’s happened, but I can only caution you to store it inside a white storage bag and be very careful with it. During the filming of the video below something also happened and I noticed that the two halves of the plastic had separated a bit. I was able to snap them back together, but I still need to caution care when handling and storing. 

2015-01-06 11

Anyways. Since it was that difficult to get the Dilly inserted once, I cannot imagine thrusting with it. If you really want the feeling of fullness, then get yourself a Tantus Ryder Grab Bag for something more hands-free, or just use your favorite dildo. Having the dildo attached to the Bubble Love was not a bonus for me. It was simply more trouble than it was worth. 

I do want to thank Bubble Love for sending me one to check out. If you think this could be the thing you’re looking for, I recommend buying it from SheVibe.

 

  1. For those curious, this is the showerhead I have; one of the settings forces all the water out of a concentrated center which makes it pretty powerful
  2. I’d recommend using the float and hose at all times in order to prevent this
Dec 312014
 

LeloMona2If you at all frequent the world of sex toy review blogs (or even Reddit) you’d probably think that the Lelo Mona 2 is one of the three Holy Grail sex toys (the other two being the We-Vibe Tango and the Njoy Pure Wand). So you may be able to understand why I feel like the black sheep (oh wait, I am!) for not loving the Lelo Mona 2. I ask that you hear me out before you light the torches and brandish the pitchforks. I like it well enough; it’s okay. But I don’t long for it. In fact, I don’t ever use it….unless I’m writing a review.

“How can you not love the Mona 2?!?”

Since my body requires a ton of vibration strength for it to matter to my g-spot, the vibrations of the Mona 2 don’t quite cut it for me as an internal vibe. It’s good, don’t get me wrong, and it’s fairly strong, but I need something more…. more than most people. I need the serious rumbles, like those found in the L’amourose Rosa Rouge.  The vibrations of the Lelo Mona 2 are good enough to help stimulate my internal clitoris but not enough to really wake up my g-spot. It’s pretty good as an external vibe if you don’t like pinpoint vibrations, and want something with a handle, but it’s still not going to be my top recommendation. I actually can’t think of a situation where I’ve chosen the Mona over the We-Vibe Tango for external stimulation – I guess I prefer something more pinpoint (like the Tango). I find that using a vibe like the Lelo Mona 2 as an external stimulator during partnered PIV sex is a little less awkward because it gets my hand out of the way a bit, versus using the Tango, but the effort required for me to come using the Mona 2’s more broad stimulation isn’t worth the saved hassle.  Plus, after trying vibes like the Je Joue Uma, the half-plastic half-silicone design of the Mona 2 combined with the buttons makes clean-up a bit more of a hassle than I feel up for most times. Yes, I’m lazy. The Uma is totally encased in a silicone skin, and the buttons on the end are just a bit easier for me to access. 

Better than, Worse than

If we’re comparing Lelo to Lelo, I’d definitely pick the Mona 2 over the Gigi 2 any day.  Lelo Mona 2 provides the fullness I need with a longer overall design that I also really need. The vibrations of the Mona 2 are definitely stronger and better than the Gigi 2. While I do love everything about the L’amourose Rosa Rouge much more than the Lelo Mona 2, for those who need a lot of firm pressure on their g-spot, I’d recommend the Mona 2 (or Uma) over the Rosa Rouge. But if you want something easier to hold and with more powerful vibrations, I’d recommend the Rosa (or heated version, Rouge) any day. There is an increased cost there, of course. Je Joue’s Uma is about $20 less than Mona 2 and I feel the vibrations are just a bit more rumbly. 

Like most higher-end sex toys, Mona 2 is rechargeable, waterproof, has varied levels of vibration intensity and has a few pulsating settings. I’m never a fan of patterns, so I stick with the straight vibrations. There’s a warranty but experiences from fellow readers have shown that there’s a few issues with the Lelo customer claims department.  Unlike most newer rechargeable sex toys, though, the Lelo Mona 2 isn’t USB-rechargeable. This means you’ll have to purchase from a store in the country you live in, to ensure your charger is the right voltage and prongs and whatnot for you.  The silicone is a silky-smooth skin overtop a hard plastic vibrator, so there’s no give and no squish. If you need something softer and thinner, try the Tenga Iroha Minamo.

Want it?

As with all Lelo creations, Mona 2 is a bit pricey. As of this writing, SheVibe.com sells it for $129.99. Every now and then you’ll be able to catch a Lelo sale or just an overall site sale to save a bit. So far, I’ve received fewer complaints about the Mona 2 failing than other Lelo items, but I’m skeptical overall on their brand. Of course, now that I’ve taken so long to write this review the Mona Wave is out. So now the big question will be  Mona 2 or Mona Wave? Stay tuned….a review on the Wave is coming shortly. 

 

All purchase links here go to Shevibe, the best retailer on earth. If, however, you’re in the UK you can grab it from LovehoneyUK.  And Canadians, check out Come As You Are

Dec 122014
 

We-Vibe Pleasure MateI’ve been in love with the We-Vibe Tango for years now. Well, my first love was technically the Salsa  -that bullet-pointed tip just seemed to work a little better and the color choices were fabulous. I quickly learned that the Salsa/Tango were the same size as the Rocks Off Ro80mm bullet and the Tantus bullet. Swapping out those for the Tango usually led to great success (the Tantus Panty Play was the one time I had disastrous results). 

So you can imagine my glee when I saw that We-Vibe was finally giving Tango it’s very own accessories, the We-Vibe Pleasure Mate collection. I felt a bit like a kid coveting the latest Cabbage Patch Doll accessories (my favorite was the CPD-sized high chair for sitting her alongside me at dinner). I had to collect em all. 

Dusk

When I finally had the We-Vibe Pleasure Mate Dusk in my hands, I was a bit underwhelmed honestly. I was surprised at how small it is – at the widest portion of the bulb it’s 1 inch. I know so many people who already use the Tango in their existing toys, but the Dusk is absolutely for un-butt-initiated. It’s beginner-sized and won’t provide a “full” feeling at all. If it were uberpowerful, it may matter less. But due to the diminutive size of the plug, they couldn’t fit the Tango inside the plug, instead it fits through a sleeve outside the plug which helps give it a anal-safe anchor. What results is a whole lot of vibration outside the butt (and even well into the labia where applicable) and a lightly moderate amount of sensation inside. It’s not the weakest vibrating plug I’ve felt, but it’s not really what I’d call Powered By Tango.

If small size and moderate vibration is your jam, you’ll love the Glow. Some people would find this set-up perfect. Most people I know, though, won’t. Really, not enough vibration transfers up into the plug part.

Glow

Lelo gigi 2 vs We-Vibe Pleasure Mate GlowMany moons ago, Lelo introduced the Ella dildo. And the Gigi vibrator. That angled, flat thumb of a head became iconic and is replicated far and wide for being superior as a g-spot massager in the eyes of most. I certainly think the design is awesome; my first g-spot toy had a tip like a pointy beak. Yikes. So the We-Vibe Pleasure Mate Glow is pretty awesome and pulls double duty as a dildo and a vibrator. We-Vibe has constructed the Glow to still be sturdy even without the Tango inserted. There’s a channel in the Tango-hole (and a hole down inside) so that it’s fairly easy to insert and remove the bullet, but it’s snug enough that it stays put during use. People who have arthritis in their fingers, trouble gripping something firmly and/or lack of hand strength in general will find it difficult to remove the Tango on their own. People with reach issues who need a longer dildo, or a dildo with a handle, will find it a bit difficult to use the Glow since it is a bit short.

The vibrations transmitted are fairly good.  This doesn’t suddenly become a super-powered g-spot vibrator – it’s not possible. There’s a lot of solid silicone for the vibrations to travel through. If you need a super-powered g-spot vibe, then I’ll recommend the L’amourose Rosa or my very favorite, Rosa Rouge. I do think the vibrations transmit better than many Tantus dildos, though and it’s even a bit more powerful than the Lelo Gigi 2 by a hair.  Glow also isn’t very big; the head is about 1″ wide and if inserted more than 3 inches, the shaft widens to 1.25″. 

Woooboy is the Glow PINK. I mean it. It’s bright. It’s even a little garish. If you are offended by pink, you’re out of luck because Glow only comes in pink. If you want to be matchy-matchy, you’ll want the pink Tango. Only the newer pink Tango, please, the older version (a dusty rose) clashes horribly. I can’t abide by clashing colors. 

Who Should Buy This

If you’re a sex toy expert and connoisseur of vibes, a lover of power and a queen of size….you might want to pass. You won’t be excited. However if you’re ready to move past your very first, low-priced sex toys and settle on something quality? Get the whole kit, if you or your partner want to explore anal play. The whole kit even includes a pretty, pearly white Tango – a color you can’t get on its own. A color that doesn’t clash with either the Dusk or Glow. When you buy the Dusk or Glow on their own, a Tango isn’t included. So if you’re new to the Tango too it’s going to cost $139.99 to get both the Glow and a Tango, where the whole set is priced at $149.99. 

Like I said for those ready to move into the world of better sex toys, get the kit. You’re getting the best clitoral vibrator on the market for those who need power1, a very nice g-spot dildo or vibe and a beginners butt plug. All in true body-safe materials from a company with excellent customer support who honors their 1-year warranty.

 

A big thanks to SheVibe for hooking me up with the Pleasure Mate Glow and Dusk for my honest review. 

  1. I do want to note: if your clitoris is sensitive, if you can come fairly easily from fingers and tongues? The Tango might be a bit too much for you
Dec 102014
 

It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of Pipedream. They’re one of the “Big 5″ companies, having been around for many years. They like to think they’re a Mafia Boss the way they treat smaller companies in the industry. They take their ability to make mass amounts of sex toys every day and create so much crap. They’re no stranger to misogynistic ad copy on their sex toys but their latest little stunt is above and beyond.

I’m sure any of you reading this are aware of the big celeb phone hacking dubbed “The Fappening”, where dozens of stars had their cell phones hacked and the photos shared for the world to see. Some of these were naked selfies. It was a violation of their privacy, it was a violation of consent. Jennifer Lawrence rightly called it a sex crime.

“Just because I’m a public figure, just because I’m an actress, does not mean that I asked for this,” she told Vanity Fair. “It does not mean that it comes with the territory. It’s my body, and it should be my choice, and the fact that it is not my choice is absolutely disgusting. I can’t believe that we even live in that kind of world.” (Vanity Fair)

“It is not a scandal. It is a sex crime. It is a sexual violation. It’s disgusting. The law needs to be changed, and we need to change. That’s why these Web sites are responsible. Just the fact that somebody can be sexually exploited and violated, and the first thought that crosses somebody’s mind is to make a profit from it. It’s so beyond me. I just can’t imagine being that detached from humanity. I can’t imagine being that thoughtless and careless and so empty inside.” (Vanity Fair)

Knowing all of this do you think there’s any chance Jennifer Lawrence would have consented to have her likeness made into a SEX DOLL? I don’t fucking think so. In true gross fashion, Pipedream had to take it up a notch. It’s not just a Jennifer Lawrence doll. It’s a JLaw “Hacked” doll…..complete with a JLaw-lookalike model dressed as Katniss Everdeen plus posing in selfies made to look just like the ones leaked. Since they’re using a model and not the actual leaked photos, Pipedream isn’t doing anything illegal. But it’s disgusting. It makes light of anyone whose consent has been violated with naked photos leaked to the public. What’s next, Pipedream? Are you going to start making dolls from photos found on Revenge Porn sites?  Here’s the wonderful ad copy and then a quote from their press release:

We’re not sure what came faster, news of J-Laws leaked selfies or the thousands of guys waiting for this day to finally come! She did the world a favor when her sexy selfies spread across the internet, and now Hollywood’s honey is getting naked for the money! If hacked cell phone pics weren’t enough to make J-Law our favorite new selfie slut, her brand new blowup doll is proof that this blockbuster babe is ready for primetime penetration! Just add air and this American hustler transforms into America’s hooker right before your eyes! There’s no silver lining to her 3 love holes, but if you add a little lube they feel great wrapping around every inch of your pleasure rod! Her cloud got hacked so you can get jacked!

“Nobody creates products with mainstream crossover appeal like Pipedream,” Pipedream CEO Nick Orlandino said. “The publicity we receive when one of these celebrity dolls hits the market is priceless. Our customers will definitely experience rising sales as J-Law blows up — literally!“  (Xbiz)

Of course, the JLaw Hacked doll isn’t their first trip down the rabbit hole called Bad Taste. Their “Fuck Me Silly” toys are extremely offensive.  They, of course, justify their ad copy choice when called on it. Just when I think they’re maybe, possibly okay-ish to support for their silicone toys (because people do need access to affordable sex toys and if it’s a crap brand’s silicone butt plug vs buying a porous one, well I’ll choose the lesser of two evils), I find that they include AnalEaze  with all of their silicone butt toys. Their Fetish Fantasy line of low-priced silicone vibrators and cocks are not made of medical-grade silicone like they advertise (medical grade requires clean-room facilities which I cannot fathom them having) but that’s fine – we don’t need medical grade. It would be nice, though, for them to disclose that it’s not pure silicone through-and-through. The core is foam.  I’ve not dissected their Fetish Fantasy line and I can’t yet tell what the chances are of something happening to the silicone exterior enough that moisture could get to the foam core.

What I find the most ironic of all is this email I received earlier this year from their social media manager:

We keep a close eye on all the review blogs and it’s no secret that you’re not a fan of us. We know how influential you are to the blogging community and to customers. Since we so highly value your opinion, we wanted to reach out to you and offer you a trip to Pipedream. We’re hoping to talk to and show you what our company is all about, as well as learn from you and hear your personal feedback. If your opinion doesn’t change after meeting us – no hard feelings! We’d just like the opportunity to open up a dialogue with reviewers, show you what we do and who we are, and have a sit down conversation to more clearly hear your concerns. And, of course, your trip is completely on us. 

 I never responded because really….what could they say that would change my mind? ETA: Actually, since a few people who know nothing about me personally are ripping on me for not taking PD up on the offer, I now feel the need to expand on this. I never responded to the email because there was nothing they could say that would change my mind AND VICE VERSA. But I didn’t GO because, paid trip or not, the ability to take time off and fly there was not in the cards for me. I had multiple, valid personal reasons for being unable to make such a trip. I’m not young, single and without obligations enough to just pick up and go to California.  

Here’s my personal feedback, Pipedream: CLEAN UP YOUR FUCKING ACT. Stop being the douchey bros of the sex toy world. You don’t need to disrespect women to sell sex toys.  Why is “She Never Says No” such a common theme in your ad copy?

Many people have given me shit for being so vocal about not supporting this company. I’m supposed to just give a free pass to any company producing affordable silicone sex toys. And what about their affordable glass toy line? Their ceramic toy line? I’m sure there are other companies making cheap glass toys. If you want to support a company with rape culture ideals that’s your choice. It’s my choice to recommend brands other than Pipedream, and to educate my readers on why. 

 Posted by at 10:06 am
Dec 082014
 

Wevibe4PlusAppDamn, these vibrations bore me.

I’m supposed to be in awe of the smartphone/Bluetooth controlled aspect of the We-Vibe 4 Plus right now, literally right now as I type this, but I can’t be. In part because the Bluetooth aspect works only when I’m naked or in undies and dudespreading all over the place. But largely because THESE VIBRATIONS BORE ME.

We-Vibe, in theory, has always been a great idea. And for many people, it is a great idea in practice. For many people, the We-Vibe works exactly as advertised. Until the We-Vibe 4, with it’s different profile and more snug fit, there were also many people who experienced too much shifting of the We-Vibe for it to really be hands-free. But for me the We-Vibes have always been an “in theory” toy because the vibrations were never enough. Even when they increased the motors and made them a bit more rumbly, it doesn’t matter. When they came out with the Salsa and Tango, I knew they had the ability for something seriously awesome, but those motors don’t get used in the We-Vibe couples vibe. So I’m sitting here trying in vain to be excited. I’m even using one of the pulsating patterns, in an effort to fool my clitoris into thinking there’s more going on than there really is.

My clitoris is not easily fooled. The night got worse. My clit turtled. My beloved Rosa was only barely able to save me. I kinda want to like the We-Vibe 4 Plus but yet I dread having to use it again and am sad that now I have two of them** which is two too many.

On the way to finding a pulsating pattern I liked, something else very wrong happened. You see, with the We-Vibe 4 Plus’s We Connect app, you can do some interesting things like independently control the motors in the arm. In theory. In practice, I can’t tell any difference between level 1 and level 10 when it comes to the g-spot arm. And the only time I really feel it the vibrations in the g-spot arm is during certain patterns that seem to turn off the clitoral arm for a half-second or more, leaving the g-spot arm doing…something. It doesn’t feel good. In fact, I don’t ever want to feel that again. It reminds me of getting a pap smear. An uncomfortable, weird, foreign feeling in my vag. DO. NOT. WANT.

Alright, enough about these vibrations. Touted as a great sex toy for long-distance couples, couples too horny to get through the work day or even those who just want to play around in public together, the We-Vibe 4 Plus works with certain smartphones via Bluetooth to be controlled by an app by either partner. Using it when your partner is on a trip or lives long distance is a lot like literally penciling in sex to your calendar. If you’re on board with that, carry on. If you wanted the element of surprise, the ability to wear the We-Vibe for hours not knowing when your partner will flip the proverbial switch? Eh, you’d be let down a little. To be  fair I don’t think it’s possible to let permissions idle for hours on end; currently your partner has to send over a request to control and then has 30 minutes for you to get into position and lay down the first tracks. But the problem I have with the We-Vibe 4 Plus isn’t about the permissions. It’s about my weight and my vulva. Wevibe4Plus

At my current weight I have full, fleshy outer labia. They almost completely cover the We-Vibe when it’s inserted. And unless I have my legs spread a bit and am only wearing thin pants or no pants, the Bluetooth connection between the vibe and my phone gets cut. I went through a dozen and a half attempts between the two units; a dance where I press and hold the power button on the unit until it gives off two short pulses and then I grab my phone and try to control it and it just mocks me, telling me the connection is lost and to please make sure it’s charged. IT IS CHARGED.  A few people told me that the same thing happens during sex when the We-Vibe is between two bodies.  I had this problem with two WV4+’s. My original, in Slate Gray, wouldn’t ever work when inserted. My second one, garish Pink, works under the best of circumstances. The included remote only works from a distance of 1 foot or less and needs unimpeded access to the vibe, so having the Connect app for control is a big help, when it works.  According to all of the info from We-Vibe on the SheVibe page, there are 10 intensity levels on the regular remote, too, but again I can’t really feel 10.  And often I’m not even sure that the press of the button on the remote worked, so having the visual confirmation on the We Connect app is quite helpful. I’m really not a fan of patterns, so the bonus patterns available on the We Connect app don’t do anything for me (in fact the two that made me want to rip the thing from my vagina are Connect app patterns – Peak and Chachacha). Creative types can use the Connect app to make their own pattern.

If you ever owned an older version of the We-Vibe and felt that it was too loose, take heart. 4 and 4 plus fit much more snugly. In fact, I swear the 4 Plus is a little more snug than the 4. I had trouble getting it inserted and into the correct position and at first it almost felt pinchy it was so snug. This may not be a problem for those who are not overweight. The 4 plus is exactly like the 4 regular with the exception of the 10 mysterious levels of intensity and the app.

Here’s the real question: Should you spend the extra $20 to get the 4 Plus version? If your labia is nothing like mine, then yes – if you have minimal labia. If you can orgasm fairly easily from fingers and tongues, then the vibrations of the We-Vibe may be enough for you. If you can see yourself often being in an area where both you and your partner have either WIFI or a decent data connection for using the App, then yes. If you’re okay with the fact that it requires some personal scheduling and lack of spontaneity to use, then yes. 

 

A big thanks to SheVibe for sending me the We-Vibe 4 Plus to try out, and to We-Vibe for being so great in making sure I didn’t have a defective unit**.

**Just in ensure that I didn’t receive a defective unit, We-Vibe sent me a new one. They had also updated their app while I was in testing phase. Neither of these helped. 

 Posted by at 12:12 pm
Nov 272014
 

In case you’re new here, let’s review the rules. Everybody’s year-end lists differ;  I try to keep it to sex toys that have been introduced to the public this calendar year as much as possible. For the “Best” toys I only rank the ones I’ve used and loved.  For the “Worst” list I’ve gone outside my normal rules – I just didn’t review very many “new this year” sex toys that I really and truly loathed. Curious to see how I’ve ranked things in years past? I’ve got lists from 2013, 2012, and 2011.  This year’s list is quite different. For one, there’s no dildo! I wasn’t wowed by any dildos I tried this year that were new to the market. This is also the first year that toys for the penis/prostate made the list – not once, but twice!  Onward, to the Best Sex Toys of 2014! (and the worst)

Interested in picking up one or two of these for the holidays? Check out the Black Friday / Cyber Monday sales!

Best Sex Toys of 2014

rosarougeBest Vibrator

L’amourose Rosa Rouge – So amazing. It’s technically a g-spot / prostate vibe, but I ended up liking it best as a clitoral vibe. The vibrations are phenomenal –super powerful and deeply rumbling– and the warming feature actually does enhance the vibrations. This vibrator from newcomer French company L’amourose had me so crazy in love that I emailed SheVibe within minutes of my first orgasm to say “Please stock this!!” Runner up would be the plain Rosa – same great design and vibrations, minus the warming heated shaft.

Tenga Iroha MinamoBest Vibrator ~ Honorable Mention

Tenga Iroha Minamo – This is nearly the polar opposite of the L’amourose Rosa Rouge! Not for anyone who needs powerful vibrations or filling girth, this is great for those who need the opposite – a softer touch. The plush body and decently moderate vibrations combine with a slender shaft to finally offer those who think Less is More a great vibrator.  It works really well as either an internal or external vibrator and has a lot more obvious squish to it than it’s sister vibe, the Mikazuki.  It’s not a vibrator that I love for myself, but because it fills a gaping hole in the sex toy world – slender, decent and soft.

PulseVibratorforMenBest Cock Toy

Hot Octopuss Pulse – The vibrator for the penis, stupidly called the “guybrator”. It can be used as a vibrating stroker, but in our house it’s best when held at the frenulum while he lays back to enjoy the sensations. It surprised both of us, and really went above and beyond expectations.  Unique in design, it boasts super powerful vibrations and is really easy to use. Also hailed as a couples toy, we felt it didn’t perform in that arena but as a solo toy for him, it was so awesome. Keep an eye out though, Pulse 2 will hit the stores by February.

Jopen Lust L12 Prostate VibratorBest Prostate Massager

Jopen Lust L12 – This little guy has everything but the girth – powerful, rumbling vibrations with pulsating patterns and both ends vibrate to hit the prostate from inside and out. Jopen tried to play it off as a vibrator for either g-spot or prostate, but the design and size really fail as a g-spot & clitoris dual stim vibe. Available in hot pink or grey, it’s rechargeable and only $69 at Shevibe.

PleasurePurseBest Accessory

Pleasure Purse – I love this bag; it’s so versatile. It’s a weekender bag, it’s an inconspicuous storage option for the closet, it’s lockable and it’s very well made. Pockets galore with a black leather exterior ensure a place for everything. The stitching is well done and will hold up, plus the zippers are good quality and won’t jam. I filled it up with a lot of stuff for a weekend away, and then crammed it full of sex toys just to test the capacity.

TouchCompareMost Improved

We-Vibe Touch – I wasn’t in love with the first gen We-Vibe Touch but their upgrade brought in silky, matte-finish silicone and much less vibration dampening from the silicone. The Touch no longer picks up all the dust in a 3 foot radius, and feels much stronger than the old version. Sure, I still love the Tango more, but now I can finally recommend the Touch. Good job, We-Vibe!

ovoBest Choice for Beginners

OVO – I’m not even picking a single toy here. I’ve only reviewed the K2, but I had the chance to check out a good portion of the line in person. Shevibe carries a lot of the models and everything is under $50; many are under $30! The vibrations are more rumbly than buzzy (note: this doesn’t apply to the teenie vibes, like the Ws, they’re VERY buzzy, and the S1) and they’re moderate (this applies to most of the items – I’ve seen only negative reviews for the cock rings, so avoid those, and the vibrations on their mini external bullets, W1 and W2 are best left on the shelf). Great for newbies and those who don’t need extreme power. Their 15 year warranty is pretty much unprecedented in the sex toy biz. Made from silicone and ABS plastic, you’ve got a lot to choose from in this line. My only gripe is that the company doesn’t know how to measure a sex toy; they’ve measured from the widest portion –often the handle– and not just the widest usable portion. This led to some really skewed measurements. I’m trying to get better measurements, but if you have your eye on a certain model or have a size requirement, ask me and hopefully I can help narrow it down!

 

Worst Sex Toys of 2014

Lelo  anything – Lelo really fucked up this year. Their Smart Bead seems to be mostly gimmick and that fucking “cock ring for BANKERS”? Uh uh. Nope. That video is so offensive and the marketing campaign as a whole pretty much shits on their overall image. So glad I quit last year.

Fun Factory Amorino – Take a mediocre rabbit-style vibe and add a silicone “rubber band”. It’s as dumb as you’re imagining. And painful, to boot. I had an experience that ripped a few hairs out.

Jimmyjane Form 4 – The review that caused Jimmyjane to think I’m being paid off to hate them so much. I hated the Form 4 so much, and for so many reasons.

PalmPower Wand Massager – A lot of people love this thing so I wondered what was wrong with me when I disliked it so much. It could have been something decent, but all the flaws were too glaring to ignore.

Marc Dorcel Secret Vibe – The only good thing about this vibe is the remote. But otherwise it’s $70 for something so buzzy, so weak that I forgot I had it inside of me.

 

 

 Posted by at 11:30 am