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e[lust] 45

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust].  Want to be included in e[lust] #46? Start with the newly updated rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 ~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

 Bringing Toxic Sex Toy Facts Out of the Attic

How Do I Get My Wife to Dominate Me?

I Need This

  ~ Featured Posts (Molly’s Picks) ~

Speaking the unspeakable

#safetytipsforladies

 All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

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Posted by Lilly | 0 Comments

Tantus Silicone Paddles

Tantus is pretty damn awesome, all around. Their products, their employees, their founder, their entire rainbow-unicorns-glitter existence. And then they had to go and make something that will raise eyebrows everywhere, whilst still being made of awesome.

Silicone. Paddles.

I’ve seen paddles made of wood (naturally), paddles made of rubber and leather and even glass. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pure silicone paddle. What’s the fuss? Well, it’s Tantus silicone so you can sterilize it (an important feature for the serious kinkster), and each of the 4 paddles is a varying level of wobble ranging from pretty firm to nearly-a-flogger.  While I only own one of these, I was able to play with all of them at CatalystCon last month.

Pelt and Thwack

These two are more sturdy, the paddle portion is thicker than the other two. They’re also shorter, and in my eyes look more like a traditional “paddle”. They still have flex and bend, though.  A solid, wood paddle is firm and hard, and absorbs the excess energy when you smack someone (there’s a better way to explain this, but I don’t have the words in my brain lately). The “give” and bend of the silicone paddles means that you don’t have to use as much of your own energy to deliver the same amount of pain – conversely it also means that you can deliver as much pain as you want, as hard as you want and unlike the traditional wood paddle, you can’t break it. But the ability to deliver more-for-less is great for people with disabilities, less upper body strength, a wonky wrist, etc. I’ve seen people just kind gently “wobble” the paddles and deliver a satisfying, yet sting-y smack with little effort. This also means that you gotta dial back your swinging arm. I’m accustomed to a suede flogger, the kind made up of strips of leather. It’s more thud than sting. But it also lets me really work out my frustrations/irritations/whatever and feel more, really uh “put my back into it” kinda thing.  Pelt is all about the nice, rounded edges and reminds me of a hairbrush. Thwack has a solid, rectangular look to it and is a little more rigid of the two, I think.

 

Wham Bam and Snap Strap

Ohhhhh boy do these fuckers sting. Wham Bam is the one I own personally, and while it’s pretty wobbly it isn’t exactly floppy – if I hold it upright it lists the side a bit. It’s 15″ long, whereas the Pelt and Thwack are closer to 12″ long, and the paddle portion is thinner silicone than the Pelt and Thwack, which lends to more wobble. And therefore, again, less effort required to really deliver a stinging smack. Even at 15″ though, you’d think it’s not travel friendly but it is. The flexible design would allow this to curve around in a tight U-shape to half its length. The same can be said for the Snap Strap, as it is even longer (nearly 18″) and a little thinner than the Wham Bam.  When you try to hold the Snap Strap upright the whole length just falls down, it doesn’t support itself. I would really classify Snap Strap as something more akin to a flogger than a paddle, with Wham Bam being in the middle.  Since the body of these is also less wide than the more traditional Pelt and Thwack, you are delivering a more concentrated smack but also a more precise smack on a smaller surface area. Trying to aim for the nipple and not the whole breast? The Snap Strap would really do well at that sort of thing. Into delivering these sensations to the vulva/clitoris? Wham Bam or Snap Strap. Now excuse me whilst I go cringe like crazy for a few minutes after thinking about the last two scenarios.

If the receiver has a high pain tolerance, then these are absolutely perfect. If the receiver can only tolerate dull, thuddy whollops like a hefty flogger can deliver, then they may not be able to enjoy the Tantus Paddles. But I have a feeling that many kinksters will enjoy the hell out of these things. You can’t break them, they’re easy to clean, they’re non-porous and safe to share between partners, the handle will be comfortable for most, they travel well and are lightweight, but best of all? They’re affordable. Right now SheVibe.com has them listed for $33.99 each.

When you purchase one of the Tantus Silicone Paddles, you’ll receive it in a simple, Tantus plastic bag. Attached to the handle is a simple tag with a little about the item and it details basic care. As with every Tantus silicone item, the paddles are phthalates- and latex-free, hypoallergenic, odorless and can be cleaned with a 10% bleach solution, by boiling or even tossing in the top rack of the dishwasher. Less rigorous cleaning could be as simple as soap and water or, for fun at the dungeon, use cleaning wipes unless it came in contact with body fluids and you’d like to go use it on a different body. These paddles will last you a lifetime.

 

Thanks to SheVibe for sending me one of these to review.
(It will really come in handy for….nevermind. If I tell you, you’re an accessory.)

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Posted by Lilly | 3 Comments

Would you buy a sex toy with a handle bar attached?

Because I think I would.

One of the many reasons why I love my Njoy Pure Wand is because of the lazy-C-shaped design. Bringing the controlling handle back closer to my arms means that I don’t have to do crazy contortions. The shape tends to be also why many sex toys on the market don’t work out for me – they’re straight. The controls for the vibrators are sticking out of my vagina by an inch or three, which means my hand has to reach that far. Guess what? It doesn’t.

I was poking around patents when I just merely looked up “sex toy”. The first thing I see is something that I don’t think ever came to light but I wish it had!!!

From the Background of the Invention portion:

Throughout history, humans have sought sexual gratification by artificial means. Such artificial means have included orifices to simulate male organs. Other artificial means have included phallic devices to facilitate vaginal or anal stimulation. The present device is directed to the latter.

Typical phallic devices or dildos are hand-held and require that a user either have a partner or contort their body in unusual positions to achieve proper and repeated insertion. Many have attempted to design an improved sex toy, both manual and mechanical, that facilitates insertion of a dildo. Such mechanical devices can become large and cumbersome which could interfere with a person’s desire to be discrete or private when using such a device. Further, manual devices can likewise become large and awkward to use.

Accordingly, there is a need for a sex toy that is compact in size and easy to manipulate. In addition, there is a need for a sex toy that can be easily moved with minimal strain on the hands, wrists and forearms. The present invention fulfills these needs and provides other related advantages.

Yes, there IS a need for sex toys that can be easily moved with minimal strain on the hands, wrists and forearms! I can’t say I’d choose the rabbit styles but a nicely curved g-spotter? Yup.  I think that if I ever could be a designer of a new line of sex toys, I’d want to partner with this person and build off of this so that people with disabilities or just not blessed with long arms and a thin body could more easily get off.

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Posted by Lilly | 8 Comments

Lelo Ina – Silence of the Lambs Edition

When I was a kid, two instances showed a glimpse into my true nature: One, when I took apart my old Simon electronic game at age 9 just because I had no idea how it worked and I wanted to see inside. The second is when my dad bought this book…I can’t remember the name but it was very similar to what I’m sure the “Big Book of Why” is. Anyways, that became one of my favorite books.

Usually never content to leave well enough alone, I have to dig sometimes. There is another, underlying reason why I did what I did, which I can’t tell you all yet (but oh man…it’s exciting) but after my review of the Ina 2 went live I thought and thought and realized I never was going to use the original Ina so I decided to see what was underneath a Lelo dress, so to speak.

I got out a boxcutter and felt very, very crazy and bad. Like it was sex toy reviewer sacrilege to purposely ruin an expensive sex toy. And in true nerd fashion, as I’m cutting and pulling away the skin from the body I kept gleefully uttering “this is so neat!!!”. AND THAT is a sentence I never thought I’d write. Wow.

  

I’m not versed enough to know what the substance is that makes up the clitoral arm. You can see how it’s not as flexible as it probably should be, it isn’t stuck to the bullet vibrator that essentially makes up the clitoral arm. I could see how, from viewing the construction of it, that very frequent use and lots of manipulation of the clitoral arm could result down the line in that substance detaching from the hard plastic of the main body? I could be wrong. Since I actually do like the Ina 2 and can see myself using it, I don’t want to de-skin that one, too, but I am super curious to see what they did differently to make the clitoral arm more flexible.

The silicone skin covering the body of Ina ranges in thickness from slightly less than 2mm to just under 6mm. Glue keeps the skin firmly attached to the main body. ‘

Yes, yes I do now have an urge to go de-skin a bunch of other toys. But I won’t. Not yet.

FOR SCIENCE!

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Posted by Lilly | 5 Comments

I just have to know…is this silicone, or not?

UPDATE:  The funds were raised successfully, and the test happened (results here). While waiting on the results, something else happened….Dildology.org was founded in order to keep testing more sex toys and create a positive change in the sex toy industry. A third-party neutral watchdog organization, non-profit and running on donations. If you came to this post looking to donate a little something for this test, please consider donating to fund more tests, so that you will begin to know the truth about what’s in your sex toys.

 

For the time being, the flame test is the at-home sex toy owner’s only tool for testing to see if an advertised sex toy is truly 100% pure silicone. Thus far it seems to have served me quite well. I do know that it isn’t perfect and I try to keep that in mind.

But so far now I’ve happened upon two products from two major thought-to-be-safe companies and have been brushed off to a degree. As I said in the Toxic Toys post, I learned that it is very possible that the Chinese manufacturing plants decide on their own to cut corners and pennies, and these cuts are not usually cleared with the company. Adding in some elastomer to a pure silicone product will reduce the cost. And hey, we’re just consumers. We’re just concerned with shoving these things in our holes and feeling good and how the fuck will WE ever know the difference, right??

Enter, Me. You. Us. The reviewers and our fucking lighters. The fact that we’re doing THAT much is a start. We’re getting the ball rolling. We have a platform and some of us are not afraid to challenge the status quo and speak up.

I’d like to dedicate an entire post to the JimmyJane Hello Touch saga, so I won’t be going into detail just yet about their response to me (yes, they finally responded). Suffice to say, their response lit a fire under me. There’s something you need to know about me….when I get told that I’m basically full of shit and/or lying, I get pissed. Furious. When I am reciting nothing but a common sense fact and I am told “sorry, I’m seeing something very different and I’m right, you’re wrong” I get irate. I go out of my way to prove them wrong. Now, JimmyJane didn’t exactly outright say I’m wrong, but they basically did. They ignored a major fact in my laying-out of the logic and it negates their whole argument. If this were a company who truly cared about the material quality of their products, they would listen and give my words weight and would genuinely look into it at the plant level. I do believe there exists some companies who would do that.

I feel that the only way to get recognition on this is to present them with proof. Will I create a change at JimmyJane? Likely not. But will I create SOME CHANGE? Yes. I think that this will, if I’m right. The fact is: Myself and another reviewer have flame-tested our Hello Touch silicone, and they both failed. A store owner and another person who shall for now remain unnamed (unless she raises her hand) both flame tested and it passed. How is it that 2 people could hold a flame to it and in 5 seconds it goes up in flames (not smoldering, not a singe, FLAMES) and then two others can hold a lighter to  it for minutes on end with no ill results? Something isn’t right.

My plan is to get the certified test done by the same lab that CATT used, and check for material composition. They will tell me if it is pure silicone or not. What I would really like to do is also send them one from someone who flame tested and it passed, to see what the material difference is, but I doubt I’d raise enough money for that. Either way, this process will be well-documented and written up. I plan to do my best through connections to get this story published somewhere besides just my blog (especially if the lab test shows that it isn’t pure silicone). While the recognition from the media may not get an actual change happening from JimmyJane on this product, it will lead to bigger things. For one, the flame test won’t be blown off like it has been in the past. Two, manufacturers will know that people are becoming smarter, and caring more, about the materials. Three, I’m hoping it will also highlight to manufacturers that they need to send off random samples to a quality lab to make sure that the plant isn’t making secret changes.

All I have is my drive and my desire and my words, to enact a change. And while the change may be small…..a small change begets another small change which begets, eventually a big change. Hey, the industry has made great strides in the last 10 years. We can push it harder and faster.

So the test costs $200. Yep, that’s a lot. If anybody with the means who is as concerned as me and is as interested in starting a change as me would like to contribute, I would really appreciate that. I’ve had 2 people so far tell me they’ll chip in to the pot. I love those two people. If you can’t help, you can’t help. I get it. Most of us are poor. Most days I’m poor, lol. When I get paid next month I’ll be a little less poor.  If you have the ability to help, send me an email.  If you’re on ToySwap you can help by buying one of the sex toys I have up for swap/sell; that would get you something and get me help.

If you’d like to comment on this matter publicly and you’re in the industry, please feel free to comment with a different name and even put my email address in the comment form below. I know that many people can only talk to me about this privately and I respect that.  If you’d like to just tell me I’ve got ridiculous pie-in-the-sky daydreams and I’m wasting everyone’s time and my money, tell me that too.

But I’m tired of reviewing and writing and nothing happening.

I need to TRY.

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