Lilly

Mar 202016
 

Blush Nude Impressions 01 - The "Swiss Army Knife" of Sex ToysI got pretty excited when SheVibe first mentioned the Blush Nude Impressions line to me – they’re something we don’t see much of right now. They’re rechargeable vibrators with a suction cup base, crafted from dust-repellent silky-smooth silicone AND I was told the vibrations don’t suck! AND they’re affordable! I was a little wary of the button placement and odd designs but still held hopes that I would like them. I wanted to like them; primarily because this category is slim pickins – you either have battery-powered options from Pipedream (definitely would rather not support them) that have a wired remote handpack or you have other options that are highly realistic and made from dodgy, porous materials. Between the concept and the bizarre designs, at least we can say Blush isn’t copying anyone out there on this line!

So while I will try my best to steer people towards other brands whenever possible due to Blush’s copycat designs and poor social media attitude, this is one time I’m not going to. If the idea of a multi-purpose vibrator with a suction cup base appeals to you, you need one of these.

Blush Nude Impressions – The Good

When I said multi-purpose, I meant it. This thing is Ridiculous. My Blush Nude Impressions 01 can be an external vibe if you’re in a pinch; a g-spot vibe; a dildo; a prostate vibe; a suction-cup ride-able sex toy; a harness-compatible vibrator; a bath-time vibrator. It’s body-safe and affordable with a good motor. It’s like the Swiss Army Knife of sex toys.

The vibrations have a kick. Have I felt better? Of course. It’s no Prism V, it’s no Rave. But I wouldn’t call the vibrations surface-buzzy, either. They have some reach and I’d put this firmly in the “middle of the road” camp both in terms of strength and buzz vs rumble. It’s going to be enough to satisfy many people. Oddly enough I was able to orgasm from this, when used externally. I think it’s partly because of the weird fin on each side, which meant I was able to target the more sensitive side of my clitoris. I’m not saying it was a great orgasm; but it happened. It wasn’t a strong orgasm, but the fact that I was able to come from the vibrations puts it ahead of plenty of other vibrators. Yes, the motor suffers vibration dampening when the toy is inserted, but it actually just manages to tone down the buzziness. I can still feel the vibrations, and it’s stronger than some other insertables. The vibrations are firmly concentrated to the head; I can barely feel anything as you get closer to the buttons. Yes there are patterns, and there are 5 levels of vibration intensity.

Rechargeable! That’s pretty rare for this type of beast. So rechargeable is a very nice bonus. There’s a slight issue with charging, which I’ll talk about it a minute.

The buttons – at first I thought they were in a bad place for use, but I can’t see where else they could go. They’ll become a cleaning issue because of the indented design, and you’ll want to take special care of them if you’re using anally, or sharing. They’re easy to press, though they do glow brightly in use (and strobe annoyingly while charging). One button is to turn the power on but it doesn’t start the motor – it’s a two-key process. You have to press the power button and then press the function button to cycle through the intensity and pattern settings, and then press the power button to turn off. This can act as a sort of travel lock since it’s less likely that the buttons could be depressed while in your bag in the correct order.

The suction cup is strong because the suction base has quite a bit of flex and give. I can attach this thing to my work desk and gyrate it around like an arcade joystick; it stays put.  It will still be harness-compatible, and anal safe though! A really nice harness-compatible vibrator. Think about that. That’s uncommon!!

The silicone itself has no drag and feels very silky (which means it attracts no fur or dust) but overall the design is firm to a squeeze. There is some bend to the shaft, though, I suspect because the motor is under the silicone skin for the top half and then the bottom half doesn’t have as much hardware inside, allowing the toy to bend a bit. Those who don’t like the rigidity of type silicone-covered vibes might find this to be a little more comfortable.

It’s waterproof, so it’s a great bath and shower toy. And shockingly, there’s a 5-year warranty. I’ve never dealt with Blush Novelties for warranty issues so I don’t know how they are to deal with – i.e. if they give you problems or ignore you completely. But a 5-year warranty is pretty nice for a $50 sex toys.

The Not Great

My first one was DOA…I think. When my second one arrived and charging still didn’t work, I consulted the interwebs and was told that you can’t insert the charging plug the whole way. Which is weird, and surely a flaw in design but the only way you’ll know it’s actually charging is when the power button’s light flashes wildly. If you first plug it in and the light is steady, then it’s not charging. But it’s receiving power, so that’s odd. Both of mine arrived without a charge in them, so it was hard to know if they were okay until I figured out how to charge the thing. Insert the plug fully and then slowly pull it out slightly until you see the power button blinking like it belongs in a rave.

The charge doesn’t really seem to last very long. Blush says “up to” 40 minutes which means only if you’re on the lowest setting. I ran a charge down just by randomly picking it up and turning it on for a couple of minutes here and there over the weeks I owned it, for comparisons. I admit I lost track of how long it took to charge from dead to complete; over an hour, definitely. Probably longer. At least the charging cable is USB, so it’s travel-friendly – you’ll  definitely need to take the cable with you.

While the designs are all butt-safe, they’re also all a little on the short side – nothing is over 6″ insertable. That’s not incredibly short but for some people it’s less than ideal. The vagina is a cul-de-sac so there’s a limit to how much length you’ll really need but the butt is like a dark country road – how far you go depends on you. Just like the g-spot, some people have a prostate that’s located a little bit farther inside, so the shortest model (the 02) may be just a bit shy of ideal at 4.5″ insertable.

Weird As Hell Designs

I have Blush Nude Impressions 01, which has a pronounced head – angled, yet flat which gently tapers to the shaft, and the shaft isn’t round, it’s more oval. And then there are these odd “fins” on each side. They don’t look like much, but you can really feel them pinging your g-spot if you twist the toy while it’s inserted. It’s actually pretty interesting, but not something everyone will like. I’m the queen of “off label uses” with sex toys and I found that the fin on the side allowed me to use this as an external vibe – the fin nestled against the side of my clit, right where I need stimulation.

Blush Nude Impressions 02 is pretty short on insertable length (4.5″) but has these ridges that remind me of what happens to blacktop when a tractor trailer brakes really hard on a hot day. Those who know that their g-spot or prostate really digs ridges will like this one.

Blush Nude Impressions 03 seems longer, it’s 8″ overall, but the subtle “balls” prevent you from getting that much insertable length. This version would be great for anal-play afficianados because the balls prevent you from inserting the buttons, making cleaning just slightly easier. SheVibe takes its measurements from Blush, listing the Nude Impressions 03 at 1.9″ wide right now, but other sites list it as 1.6″ wide. Then there’s the customer review, saying that the head is actually closer to 2.5″, so I don’t know what to think.

Blush Nude Impressions 04 is….it reminds me of a jewelry holder, the kind meant to hold bracelets, or maybe rings and someone put a beaded ring on it. This design is the weirdest and I’m not sure who would love it. I’m also not really a fan of yellow, but I know plenty of people who are.

Blush Nude Impressions 01 - side view of the "fin"

Overall, I approve of these. There’s currently nothing this nice on the market, at this $50 price point. $50 for something that does so much is a really great price.

 

SheVibe sent me this affordable sex toy at no charge in exchange for my honest review. You can get this model or any of the Nude Impressions line at SheVibe and rest assured that a DOA vibe won’t be a big deal with their amazing customer service.

 Posted by at 4:40 pm
Mar 112016
 

Boom OliveCan I interest you in a short, weaker version of the Lelo Mona? Mona-Lite! Wait, no. That doesn’t sell it. Hmmm. Would you like to own a vibrator that speaks to your love of posh-looking car interiors with their pale no-kids-allowed leather seats and faux (or maybe not) wood accents? That’s a thing, right? There’s folks out there that perked up at that? Yes! We’re gonna go with that!! Boom Olive, and the rest of the Boom line, appealed to my “gotta own something that looks unique” side. Sadly some of the Boom models have barely any wood trim – just the button. These aren’t as fun to look at.

Boom. I dunno, man, I dunno. I don’t know what it means. I know who they are though – one of the many, many sub brands of Shots Media and I think they’re now owned by Evolved Novelties? I took one look at Shots and what they have under “toys” and I don’t even know what the fuck I’m seeing, but that’s not part of this review. I feel like I just looked behind the curtain and shouldn’t have. MOVING ON!

I had two really good reasons for wanting to review the Boom Olive:

  1. The design – white and faux wood. It’s not your usual sex toy design, it feels really gender neutral and unique.
  2. The price – The most expensive one is $65, and a bunch are under $50 for rechargeable, silicone-covered vibes!

Boom Olive vs Lelo MonaBoth good reasons. But something happened when I got the Boom Olive in my hand….I realized I’d forgotten to read the specs. It’s SHORT. Like, way too short for my T-rex arms. Some of you are gonna like this aspect. Some of you don’t want a longer vibrator, and if that’s you – you’re in luck. Olive has some decent girth for being so short. It’s got an interesting curve like someone took their fimo-clay model and just bent it at that point right above the handle. A nice 45-ish degree angle crook. Seriously, it’s really similar to Mona’s crook.

Before we go further, I’m gonna tell you who is going to consider this vibe, because this isn’t for everyone. You are:

  1. A bit more sensitive to vibrations. You don’t need a powerhouse vibe, but don’t want anything too mild.
  2. On a bit of a budget. You know about the nicer vibes, the vibes I love, but they’re out of your price range. $59 is in your price range.
  3.  Interested in a little vibe that can pull double duty. This would work well as a clitoral vibe for those who don’t need super pinpoint stimulation, and could even work well as a vibe to use during PIV sex – the crook and the handle help keep your hand back from the pelvic-bumping action.
  4. Not looking for anything big; you’re actively seeking vibes with less insertable length but you don’t need something slender.
  5. Sick of pink and purple.

Boom Olive – The Good

Alright so the vibrations – this is definitely one for people who like patterns. While there’s only three vibration intensity settings, there’s a whopping seven different patterns. But the vibrations…they’re not bad! I’d put them firmly in the middle of buzzy and rumbly – they’re not rumbly, but they’re not buzzy. It took me awhile but I was able to orgasm clitorally with this. The vibrations don’t dampen too much during insertion, either! They feel about on par with the OVO K2 rabbit, so will be equal to most insertable battery-powered OVO vibes (but not their rechargeables). The vibrations seem to be also on par with the larger Picobong vibes, like the Moka.  The button is easy to use – press and hold one end to power (on) and press the other to increase the speeds or cycle through the patterns. The motor is in the tip (hence why it’s decent as an external vibe). The silicone is silky, similar to OVO and LELO and Je Joue.  It’s USB rechargeable, so it’s universal which I’m starting to appreciate more. It’s also water-resistant, but not waterproof. No submerging, but you could likely get away with using it in the shower, just not while you’re under the stream. Noise-wise, Boom Olive is also pretty quiet. In fact I think it’s slightly more quiet than the Picobong Moka. I’m actually impressed by the noise level here.

Boom Olive shape vs Picobong Moka, Lelo Mona, We-Vibe Rave, with repeated photobombs by my cat who was feeling needy that day

Boom Olive – The Not So Good

The seam between the faux wood accents and silicone is annoying and gonna cause some issues, but at least with the Olive it’s only on the handle. Some models will have the wood accent on the insertable part and that is going to make for some difficult cleaning. The white silicone also can absorb dye from ABS plastic. I accidentally stored this in the same “to be reviewed” box as the hot pink Womanizer W500 and now there are two faint lines of pink on the Olive where it touched the Womanizer, not unlike a pregnancy stick. So the white silicone needs to be kept in storage bag….and they didn’t give you one.

boom Olive with pink stain lines

I can’t really count the short length and moderate vibrations as a “not so good”, because I already warned you about that. It is what it is, and maybe for some this length and these moderate vibrations are a good thing. If it’s a flaw to you, well, okay, it is to me too. But thankfully not everyone is like me! All in all this really is a decent little vibe and I think that some other styles in this line hold great promise, while others just confuse me on their intended use. I like that most of these are under $50; I’m not sure why the Olive is $60 since it is so short, like the Miki while the traditional-length Elm is $45.  I hope it’s not because Olive has the best motor; but when I can find out if there’s motor differences/similarities between the models, I’ll let you know.

 

 

Shevibe provided me with the Boom Olive in exchange for my always-honest review. Thank you SheVibe!

Feb 292016
 

A photo collage depicting my low libido as it relates to sex toys; it shows two dildos tucked haphazardly beneath of pile of clothing, headphones, and an ear thermometer. The text reads: "The Sex Blogger's Curse: A Low Libido Story (aka: DO I really have to masturbate today?)"Buying a house. It may not be a stressful event on the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory’s top 20 but it’s been stressful for us. We’re both anxious people and we loved the house, so we REALLY wanted it. Then, things went to shit. The seller’s agent was also part-owner / flipper of the house and when it appraised low it was our own personal World War 3. I was under so much stress that I had near-constant chest pain; turns out stress/anxiety really makes your gallbladder grumpy and that chest pain was mine freaking the fuck out. A little over a year later from the start of things and I’ll be having the fucker removed. So yes, we bought our first (and maybe only) house. We have been dealing with all the things (and then some) that new homeowners deal with, including slowly finding out that little things around the house weren’t as well-done as they seemed. Compound all of this with two people who both already have mental health issues, one of them (me) untreated and the other starting a new treatment and the stress continues. Add in an unknown “injury”for myself that’s stumping doctors and racking up bills. Add in 8 weeks of illness (5 of them fairly major including oral surgery) for the spouse and 4-5 months of illness for me culminating in my first surgery of my life.  And hey just for good measure….let’s mix it all up with that lovely little side effect that some people get with untreated depression or anxiety: trouble keeping up with personal hygiene, things as simple as showering regularly. Yes, it’s a thing; it’s a thing we don’t talk about it, but it’s a thing1. The chances of us both having the ability to shower on the same day? Low.

Do you know what you get? You sure as hell don’t get laid.

And we both know that the lack of intimacy isn’t necessarily healthy for our relationship but we both see it for what it is – out of our control and something we’ll work on when our health improves. We know this and we miss it, but our libidos are too low to care *too* much, so at least we’re both in the same place. We know it’s nothing personal. But you don’t feel sexy when you haven’t showered in 4 days or brushed your teeth since yesterday.

But it feels a bit frightening for a sex blogger! Thankfully I’m no longer the “sexy” sort of sex blogger who writes erotica, takes sexy photos, writes about her sex life, etc. If I were I’d have nothing to write about. If I were, the pressure I’d be putting on myself would be huge.  The lower sex drive is affecting my reviewing, though, too. It’s making me less interested overall in anything that doesn’t vibrate, for one. Dildos just don’t hold as much appeal to me. I could, were it not for the reviews, go a month or so right now without needing g-spot stimulation and that’s the sad truth. I have a Lelo Tiani 3 that I very badly wanted to review now that it’s being sold in the States once more but guess what that kinda requires: a partnered sex life. Guess who doesn’t have that right now? This guy. And when we do finally have PIV sex do I really want to waste time on a vibrator that I know won’t help me orgasm? Been there done that and I’d like to not repeat that again but that’s the life of a sex toy reviewer. It just means that, for now, I have to put the Tiani 3 review on hold and I feel awful about that.

Update: Since writing this post I got the chance to try the Nuelle Fiera Arouser for Her, a product designed for low libido

I reviewed the Doc Johnson Truskyn dildo because I felt strongly about telling everyone about the new, affordable dual-density silicone but I wasn’t really very sad to be done with using it so that I could move on to cutting it and burning it for science.  The same thing happened with the CuRious Wand – I really wanted to tell you about it, penny stink and all, and re-acquainting myself with the Pure Wand as part of the testing was nice but I could have gone without it. Testing vibrators like the L’amourose Prism and We-Vibe Rave have been a different story because at least they vibrate. I can still form strong opinions about sex toys and feel good while using them. I can still orgasm; it’s just that I can go a week without even wanting to. I have this complete Orgasmatron X2 kit waiting on my review and trying to find the ability to really put it through the paces has been rough; as of this writing though I’m realizing that perhaps I need to just force it because I don’t know how many weeks after my surgery I’ll be in pain and unable to use insertable toys.

There’s no answers, and I’m not really seeking them. I don’t feel like I can just take time off again from the blog; I had to do that in 2013 (actually I thought I might have to quit) and it created a lot of problems. One of the problems being a drastic decrease in affiliate sales. My sales are finally at a level where they really are helping out with our household expenses and I can’t afford to see a drop. I don’t want to lose readership or followers. I don’t want to fall out of contact with my blogsquad – I fucking need them! At this point I think I can just be grateful that I can still orgasm and that I no longer have the “sexy” expectations hanging over me; due to a bit of a traumatic dramatic “thing” 4 years ago I lost all taste for that sort of thing. It was to such a dramatic degree that I didn’t just stop doing it, I hid it from view on the blog. You can’t easily navigate your way through to those sorts of posts anymore.  But that’s a story for another time…

I wrote about my slowly-increasing depression a year ago, mere days before we found The House and that whole snowball of stress started building. I am no stranger to it, but back then the low libido hadn’t affected my desire to use any and all sex toys. I am, at least, in good company (if there is such a thing in this not-great space to be); plenty of other sexuality bloggers & reviewers have gone through this same thing. I don’t think it gets written about a lot. Sure, maybe we’ll tweet about it but it’s not a hot topic. So I kinda wanna drag this one out into the light – not at all for sympathy, please don’t fawn with sympathy – but in solidarity. There’s things that get discussed only in private messages and I’m ready to say “Here I am, here’s my issues, anybody with the same issue need to chat?”. Whatever pedestal you’ve maybe put me on, pull me down, I don’t belong there. I might feel a little broken some days, but deep down I know I’m not. And if you’re in the same boat, you’re not broken, either. Far from it. I know that this could be worse; I could be completely unable to orgasm. Couldn’t very well review regularly if that were the case. I could lack a support system and understanding spouse; I am grateful to have friends in the same boat and a spouse in the same boat! At least we’re going through this together. With Tumblr porn at the ready I will carry on and hope that soon it comes back, for both of us. In the meantime we’ll have substitute intimacy in the form of curling up together on the couch for TV time, finally sleeping in the same bed, and supporting each other. There are fixes and workarounds there’s something out there that will help me, I just have to find. I hope you are able to find the thing you need to help yourself, if you’re in a similar situation.

Some other posts and must-reads from other bloggers dealing with similar issues:

Sugarcunt on depression, anxiety and zero libido

Jillian Boyd on being the “sexy” sex blogger with low libido

The Redhead Bedhead’s articles on Sex & Depression

 

  1. Why don’t we talk about this? Oh that’s right, because not everyone is like this and the people who religiously shower once a day or more will judge you so fucking harsh. I have confided in other bloggers privately and we have compared notes on how long since our last shower. For those who are judging us, fuck you. Count your blessings. This isn’t abnormal
 Posted by at 9:00 pm
Feb 262016
 

Womanizer W500I spent months wringing my hands over the Womanizer W100 (the original); I loved it, but it was ugly with a horrible name1 and I couldn’t figure out *why* I loved it. Just going by how the Womanizer W500 looks I assumed I would prefer it. And I have to tell you: I’m glad my first Womanizer was the W100 because if my first had been the W500, I’m not sure I would have been so head over heels. Or, maybe I just am mired in comparison-syndrome. I can’t help but compare the two and while you’d think the more expensive version would automatically be better….I’m here to confuse you even more. Sorry! This review also has the disappointed, matter-of-fact tone that I expected to have about the W100. It’s less fun, more functional. For most people, either Womanizer is pricey enough to give pause so the $30 difference may matter a lot to some folks. Despite the money-back guarantee I know that people want to feel like they’re making the right choice.

This review is focusing heavily on how the Womanizer W500 and W100 compare because so many people want to know which one they should get. If this review is your first introduction to the poorly-named ugly-yet-truly-innovative sex toy that has shockingly rocked my world, then you need to go check out the review for the W100 first.

How the Womanizer W500 compares to the Womanizer W100 – The Changes

They pretty much changed everything except how it works.

It has a new shape – It looks less like an ear scope. It’s also fatter and kinda awkward to hold. It’s shorter, which sucks for people like me who need more reach and longer toys.

It has new buttons – And they’re on the back side. In the most awkward spot. With the way I hold the Womanizer W100 my thumb is on the same side as the head and buttons and it’s very easy to switch between the power button and the single, large plastic rhinestone button that changes intensity. This means that holding the Womanizer W500 has the intensity button right around my pinky/ring finger and the power button around my middle finger. Also that power button – it’s now a “genuine Swarovski crystal” but it requires more effort to press it – and the shape of the crystal is pointy. It leaves a dent in my finger and it hurts to press on it.

It includes a slightly larger head – The opening is bigger by about a millimeter or two all the way around, as you can see below.

It’s louder – Yes, you read that right. Despite it being advertised as being more quiet, it’s actually a lot noisier when not fully “sealed” on to your body. Of course this is because it’s more powerful. In the video below both the Womanizer W100 and Womanizer W500 are fully charged, too. When it’s “sealed” and pressed fully against you, the noise levels are identical.

There’s no more case – Yes, I mocked the case with the W100. It was Barbie pink. But it held everything quite nicely. The more expensive version, oddly, doesn’t have a case. They just give you an industry-standard satin drawstring bag. That feels like a backslide to me.

It’s more intense – The more intense “air technology” now kinda makes it feel more like vibration (buzzy vibration, at that) and sometimes I actually find it….too intense. Yeah, I’m surprised too. I’d say it’s easily twice as intense as the W100.

Womanizer Heads  Womanizer Heads  Womanizer W500 Seams

Womanizer W500 vs Womanizer W100   Womanizer W500 vs Womanizer W100   Womanizer W500 vs Womanizer W100  - Everything Included

Here’s Where I Surprise You

Everybody is looking at this and assuming it’s better than the Womanizer W100. It must be, right? The Womanizer W500 is more powerful, looks better, costs more!! All the hallmarks of “must be better”! I’d read so many reviews of the Womanizer W100 and how intense it was, how quickly most people were able to orgasm with it yet I was still so skeptical of it’s prowess. I wasn’t done in 1 with it, but it was definitely an intense ride. So when I used the Womanizer W500 I surprised myself by discovering that I don’t like the higher intensity. I don’t need it.  Suddenly I feel like others who described how it felt like the orgasm with the W100 was ripped from them in seconds, that it was too much too soon. The lower levels on the Womanizer Pro are the same as the Womanizer W100, so if you don’t need the extra intensity you don’t have to use it – it’s just there if you need it. Just like with the W100 I am so torn on how to recommend this to people. I don’t know how to describe who will love the Womanizer and who will hate it. I’m torn on how to tell you which one is better for you. I have always been the poster girl for “needs pinpoint, needs intense power, needs rumble” for a clitoral orgasm. I did not expect to love the Womanizer W100 just as  I did not expect to not need the more intense settings on the Womanizer W500.

If the larger head is a reason to pick the W500, there’s good news: SheVibe will soon be stocking standalone replacement heads of both sizes.

I understand that many people will gravitate towards having the option for more intensity, but is giving up on a comfortable grip, easy-to-press buttons and a nicer case worth having something that looks nicer? Yes the W500 looks nicer; it is less cheesy in many ways. There will be more color options available at SheVibe hopefully soon – I’m not sure why epi24 is holding out on SheVibe with color choices; I’ve asked epi24 directly but as of this post haven’t gotten an answer yet2.

All in all….I personally prefer the W100 and will recommend it over the W500. And I’m just as surprised at that as you may be.

That 30-day money-back guarantee still applies to the Womanizer W500, and SheVibe is still handling these directly. SheVibe is my favorite retailer and I would recommend purchasing from them over others.

 

 

  1. Still trying to figure out why they named it this…if the company ends up getting back to me, I will let you know the answer!
  2. And will update when they reply
Feb 232016
 

Fun Factory Jazzie vibratorThe Fun Factory Jazzie is just one of my upcoming reviews this year focused on being more inclusive of budgets; of trying to find something that’s decent and affordable. But sometimes there’s not a lot you can say about a sex toy. I find that I can talk more about a vibrator than a dildo, but when I’m kinda neutral about a sex toy then it’s really hard to write about it. And that’s how it is with the Fun Factory Jazzie: this is going to be a quick review because the vibrator is very “entry-level” and simplistic; which isn’t a bad thing, it’s just a thing, and it’s not my thing.

Who the Fun Factory Jazzie is Best Suited For

This is firmly a vibrator for someone who knows they want moderate (some might even call these gentle) vibrations and a slender insertable. I have felt vibrators that are even more gentle than this, so it’s not something I’d consider completely worthless. Fun Factory calls it powerful, but it’s not. Not the weakest sauce on the block, but on a scale of 1-10 I’d put it firmly at 4, maaaaaybe 4.5. Given the other things I currently have at 5 on my scale, I don’t feel it’s quite a 5. I could personally never orgasm with this, but I knew that going in. I think the vibrations are better suited for external stimulation because what’s there is dampened quite a bit when inserted, while the Jazzie as a whole is nice introduction to vaginal penetration. The silicone has a little bit of give, but not very much. It’s also got a bit of drag so play it safe by making sure you have lube on hand.

The Good

I’ve felt worse vibrations. I know that doesn’t sound like high praise, but it’s the truth. I’ve felt better out of 2 AA’s and I’ve felt worse. The size and shape are really great for someone new to penetration; it’s easy to operate and it’s quiet no matter which way you turn the vibrator. Everyone who has owned a cheap, plastic vibe knows what I’m talking about – you hold it one way and the noise level isn’t too bad but then you angle it a little different and it’s like the vibrating motor head is banging right up against the plastic wall of the vibrator and you’re damn certain everyone can hear the thing.

It’s waterproof, even though it doesn’t look like it would be. The Fun Factory Jazzie is $29.99 – not the cheapest vibrator, but for something covered in slightly squishy silicone, this is decent. This will remain on my 35-under-$35 round-up list.

The Not So Good

There’s only one speed. You’d better love it, because there’s only one. I don’t think it would have created a higher-priced vibrator to include a few more intensity levels – one to build up to and yes, even one a little more powerful. I’ve felt some decently strong vibrations from just 2 AA’s, so I know it’s possible. I don’t like how Fun Factory advertises it as powerful, because that feels a little misleading. There’s definitely a market for moderate vibrations – not everyone is a power queen, so why not just own up to what you are? You’ll make the sales of people who want a moderate or gentle vibrator and not disappoint the ones actually looking for something powerful.

The silicone, like all Fun Factory silicone, is a huge dust & pet fur magnet. In fact if you find yourself in a pinch and need a lint roller for your sweater or your pants, at your ankles, where the cats like to lean, this will work nicely. Just a quick rinse under water cleans the fur for another swipe. If you own a cat or dog or bunny, pretty much anything the sheds a lot, be prepared to eventually get a hair or two inside your vagina unless you limit your usage with this to the shower. For the photos I rinsed it off and carried it to the window I would photograph it near and I swear it attracted fur that was on my shirt.

How it Compares

At home I have the OVO D4 and it seems to be a bit more powerful than the Fun Factory Jazzie, so I think that the slender OVO D1 would be comparable to the D4 and also something affordable to consider. Jazzie is actually more powerful than the Tenga Iroha Minamo, but the Minamo is a bit more slender at the tip and is much more soft, without any drag at all to the silicone. Of course the Minamo is nearly $100 more, because of the premium silicone and the fact that it’s rechargeable. My Picobong Moka is nearly twice as powerful than the Jazzie, but noisier, too. The Zizo would be a little closer to the size of the Jazzie and the same motor as Moka but it’s twice the cost and has an infuriating cap-handle.

Pay Attention to the Cap

At first I thought mine was dead, but it turned out I had the cap on backwards. You *can* put it on backwards; it fits, and it closes. It might be wise to put it on backwards if you wanna toss it in your bag but don’t want to remove the batteries. But it won’t work unless the Fun Factory logo is on the same side as the little (hard to see) Off – On – Open. Yes, it turns on and off just by twisting the cap, like the cheap pocket rockets.

funFactoryJazzieCap

Similarly, you can get the Fun Factory Joupie which is the same motor and concept, just a different style. The pokey looking head would be good for pinpoint clitoral stimulation, I bet.

Thanks to SheVibe for sending the Fun Factory Jazzie to me in exchange for my very honest review!

Feb 192016
 

A few of the thank-you emails I've received over the years, they keep me going when the voice in my head doubts what I doI’ve been writing here for a long time now, nearly 8 years. My blog has changed drastically from that first year. My writing style is different, my topics are changing, my soapbox is growing to immense proportions. I didn’t start this blog to have a voice in the war against the toxic chemicals we put into our body in the name of pleasure, but that’s what it’s become.

You see, I’m the sort of person who gets mad when people are too lazy to walk their shopping cart to the cart return. I’m the sort of person who is enraged at the people who continue on through the intersection well after their light has turned red. I get angry and I let it show because somehow, something in my brain says that if they know it’s wrong (thanks to my horn and my middle finger) they’ll eventually stop1. Toxic and porous sex toys (and poisonous lubes) make me mad. And so I never shut up about it. I kept on finding ways to research and write about it. I eventually stopped working with shops that carried mostly porous sex toys. I do my best to continually tell people “hey…you know that’s porous, right? Do you know what that means for you?”. I spend my words fighting the myths that seem to keep spinning around. And eventually other reviewers started talking about it too. I don’t believe I was the first and I don’t believe I was the catalyst, but I think I had some influence on a few. And then those few had influence on a few more, and so on.

Over the years we reviewers have grown more and more vocal about safe sex toy materials. We send a message when we refuse to give our time to porous and toxic sex toys. We are sending a message to the manufacturers who, in recent years, have exploded with under-$75 (even under $50!) sex toys made from truly body-safe materials. With our honest reviews we are giving some assurance to people that when they spend $100 or more on a sex toy, we’ve thoroughly vetted it as best as we can. When we review the affordable toys we are helping people find safe, decent sex toys that fit their budget – our role is not only to make sure the high-end sex toys are worth their price tag, but to make sure the affordable sex toys are still as decent as they can be. After all, what’s the point of buying any sex toy, no matter the cost, if it doesn’t perform well? And when we continually reassure our readers that their pleasure is important, their bodies matter and that yes they need to care about the materials of their sex toys and the ingredients of their lubes we are validating that these items are important. They are not just for the lonely, the celibate, the single. They are tools for every body. And every person deserves access to safe pleasure tools.

I can’t tell you how many readers have assumed that because an item is for sale, because an ingredient is in a lube, it must be safe. After all who would sell us unsafe things like that? Who would so blatantly disregard common sense and decency to make a buck even if it is at the expense of our health?

If you’re comfortable, talk about your body and your orgasms and your sex life on your blog. We’re a society of grown ass adults who were never taught a thing about pleasure, who were taught the location of fallopian tubes but not the clitoris, who grew up believing the porn narrative of what orgasms look like. For years as a teen and young adult I did not know where my clitoris was. I didn’t know, and I couldn’t orgasm; I thought I was broken. We need sex-ed, and we need pleasure-based sex ed….who else will teach it, but us? We are blessed with some amazing educators who are allowed to talk to teens on college campuses; along with sites like Scarleteen and places like the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health we are slowly spreading the education. But never doubt the power of your blog to reach the people not attending seminars and classes.

I’m writing this to remind you how important it is to speak up on the matters of safe sex toy materials, safe lube ingredients, and to research your information. If you feel comfortable, write about these things. Remind your readers in your reviews that this is a non-porous material and why that matters. If you, our readers, also understand how crucial this education is then share our posts with your circle, even if your social media circle doesn’t expect you to be sharing things about sex toys. When I see people on Tumblr sharing my posts about materials, people who normally would never reblog something about sexuality, I then see other people who also wouldn’t normally reblog things about sexuality reblogging and commenting. Learning. Sharing the knowledge. Small ways of “preaching outside the choir” and not just waiting for them to find our blogs when they search “dildo burning me” or “black spots on dildo”. Learn about the issues with big name brand lubes; for some people this is the only “sex toy” they will have and they will suffer through years of irritation without knowing any better. Hell, bring up the conversation with your doctor when they reach for the KY or Surgilube during your next exam. Talk to them about the bad ingredients and how detrimental it can be to the vaginal health of at-risk people. Bring your own damn lube! Anywhere you feel comfortable, teach someone something that may end up impacting their sex life forever simply by opening their mind a little.

Pictured above is just some of the thank-you letters I’ve received over the years. I have them printed and filed, to be pulled out on the days where my own anxieties and insecurities threaten my sanity. When my brain says “you’re not doing anything important”.

We are mighty. As a group we are loud; we are getting shit done, and we are not shutting up. Please, keep writing. Your voice is important, your story is important. Somewhere out there is another hundred people with the same tastes, problems and worries as you – you are helping others. You are teaching. 

  1. My husband assures me I’m wrong on this logic, and they will never learn. I can’t help it, though.
 Posted by at 3:31 pm