Lilly

Jan 282018
 

Zumio Classic Review - Zumio shown on top of multi-colored papers with craft scissors and a paint markerI don’t think I’ve ever held a sex toy as awkwardly as I hold the Zumio. It doesn’t endear me to the strange, purple antenna. Every single time I’ve used the Zumio I curse the button location. They had so much room to work with, but instead one button is nearly inaccessible to me. And so, this review begins on an ominous note. I’ll warn you right now: while many other reviewers really enjoyed the Zumio I’ve found too many quirks and problems to be able to recommend it. I’ve had my Zumio since November. Like the original Womanizer I didn’t want to like it, but suspected I would. Unlike the Womanizer I found I was different from most folks who’ve reviewed it. I consider myself to have a very hearty and stoic clitoris but even mine cowered in fear of the sometimes-painful Zumio.

Don’t Tell Me What To Do, Zumio

Many sex toys that I like end up being pretty versatile – you can use a lot of G-spot vibrators externally with great success, many clitoral vibes are great for perineum, penis, testicle, external anal stim, labia stim, etc. I’d say that the only sex toy I really love that is limited in use is the Womanizer and all other varitions/knock-offs. I’ve been told that it can work great applied to the frenulum on the penis but haven’t had my partner agree. But the Zumio – right out of the gate they’re telling you how it’s supposed to be held and then damn near giving you a paint-by-numbers diagram of how to use it, and what spots to hit in which order. There are literal instructions on how to achieve this supposed (not guaranteed) 60-second orgasm that the Zumio was invented to provide.

It wasn’t until I really poked around the website that I realized why it’s so awkward for me to hold and use the Zumio – I’ve been holding it “wrong”. They’re holding it like a paintbrush and I’m still holding it like, well, a vibrator. With the buttons facing me and the body perpendicular to my vulva. So I tried to hold it their way and it was worse – the power button is the most obvious to my fingers so I kept accidentally turning it off because I just couldn’t remember that the other buttons are that damn far down the body, so close to the tip.

Folks who are flatter in chest and tummy and can easily see what they’re doing, folks without reach issues and “short arms” will find this less awkward. Folks with less pubic mound padding and less labia may not have a problem accessing the top-most1 button but the top-heavy feel of it in your hands, the overwhelming feeling that you’re not about to buzz your way to orgasm but paint your clitoris, may deter you like it’s deterring me. Those with wrist/hand pain/arthritis may also find that holding the Zumio is painful.

I also want to address another aspect of Zumio’s prescriptive stance: their early marketing “studies” and ridiculous “proof” of the ultra-quick orgasm that is supposedly the hallmark of the Zumio. Early on they kept throwing around these comparisons and percentages that, frankly, are a terrible way to market. You end up alienating people for whom your product doesn’t work. You may make people feel broken. I repeatedly called them out on this and pressed for more details; it was then we found out that this study they’ve been touting like it’s a religious tome was based on a mere SIXTY FOUR SUBJECTS. That’s it. 64. They claimed a wide range of participants but they eventually stopped using these numbers and claims. It also took them awhile to “gather the responses” to give me more data. Can you feel my side-eye from there? I haven’t seen them trot these percentages out in awhile and can’t find them on their site anymore. Hmmm…

But Lilly, Don’t You Love Pinpoint Stimulation?

I agreed to review the Zumio because it’s supposed to be the be-all end-all pinpoint sex toy2 and we all know how much I love pinpoint vibrators. Except Zumio isn’t really a vibrator, technically speaking, it oscillates3. And despite the company’s ridiculous claims and promises of a quick orgasm, I had problems and found that, perhaps, there was such a thing as too pinpoint for me. Quelle surprise!  Sometimes I was able to orgasm in a few minutes  – but I can with the Womanizer, too. Sometimes I wasn’t.

Every other pinpoint vibrator I’ve tried and liked was pinpoint, yes, but they also provided just enough extra surface area to stimulate more than the exact spot they were honing in on, not to mention stimulating the internal clitoris legs to some degree. Not the Zumio. For once I had trouble finding my spot, that one spot on the right side of my clit, because the tip of the Zumio is so precise and rigid that I simply don’t feel much pleasure until X marks the spot. It was a frustrating game of pin-the-tail-on-the-clitoris. Zumio acknowledges this on their site, buried in the FAQ. If you look at the question “Is Zumio as strong as a vibrator?” you’ll see that they say no, it is not. “Vibrators shake everything that touches them including the clitoral region, hand and arm and even the entire body. Your body is full of nerve endings. All of them pick up these energy pulses in some form and can be overwhelming signals to your brain. It’s like a sledge hammer to drive a tack!”

Your entire body? Really?

It is a big pet peeve of mine when a sex toy manufacturer puts so much emphasis on putting down other, similar products. You don’t need to be like “Vibrators? PAH. THEY SUCK. TRY ZUMIO” to get sales.

The Zumio claims to replicate the feeling of your finger circling your clitoris – which couldn’t be farther from the truth. It feels exactly like what it is – a vibrating plastic tip. It’s intense. It feels a lot like if you took the vibrator motor – the kind with the off-balance head that wobbles around – and applied it directly to your clitoris. I would know, I did that once with my first sex toy.

I’m also usually a person who needs pressure – whether it’s applying pressure to my clitoris or needing a vibrator that won’t be diminished under the “pressure” of my surrounding labia. When I apply a very light amount of pressure, the sensations change and feel less intense and almost more rumbly, if that’s possible. But when I apply a little bit more pressure the Tip stops moving completely although the motor is still going. A number of times during use as I tried to find the right combination of my spot and Zumio placement and intensity I would apply enough pressure for it to stop moving. 

A Strange Orgasm

I can orgasm, but not in 60 seconds, on the lowest setting of the Zumio if I’m aroused or watching something erotic on Tumblr. The resulting orgasm is mild and feels like nothing within seconds. It takes awhile, anywhere from 10-20 minutes.The Zumio is too intense, too direct, for me to continue to use it for additional orgasms like I can with the Womanizer, so if I want another orgasm – because the first one was disappointing – I have to wait a little bit.

I can increase the speed on the Zumio – I can only go to 3 or 4 because any higher than that and it’s even more sensitive to whatever pressure I am trying not to apply – and the resulting orgasm is stronger but afterwards I still don’t feel like anything happened, if that makes sense. At level 3, the Zumio did force an orgasm but it was an empty orgasm. It left me as quickly as it started and I don’t feel it bodily – it’s like the orgasm and its aftershocks are strictly located in my clitoris and I just don’t feel it anywhere else.

Every time I’ve used the Zumio I looked longingly at my Womanizer Pro40 and wanted to abandon ship for it, but “I must continue on. For science.”

A Few SpiroTIP Warnings

FYI, the following is not mentioned in the manual. I’d assumed that the Tip was purely ABS plastic, through and through. But one weekend I was carrying the Zumio in my handbag. When I finally removed it I panicked because the Tip was bent at almost a 75-degree angle. I thought I ruined it completely. It seems that the top half of the tip is bendable wire covered in a plastic of some type? After I accidentally bent it once it was easy to accidentally bend it again, and now the purple plastic in the spot is lighter, showing signs of stress. The moment there’s a break in that covering, the Zumio won’t be safe for use anymore4.

Zumio only gives you a standard-issue drawstring pouch for storage so I feel like this damage to the Tip could happen to anyone, whether they’re carrying it in their pocket, their handbag, their suitcase or even if it’s just in a jumbled nightstand drawer.

This second problem happened as I was preparing to take a photo of the tip to show the damage to the plastic. As I was cleaning my Zumio I noted that a not-inconsiderable amount of dried lube/fluid had congregated in the space between the base of the plastic-covered tip and the silicone of the body. I gently ran my fingernail along the seam, like you do. This caused the plastic portion of the Tip to pop out of the body. I was able to eventually work the tip back into place, as the silicone covering is flexible around the joint of the tip, but the damage was done. My Zumio is now completely dead. The tip is covering a metal rod which feeds into the motor – the metal rod isn’t fixed into place so when it was lifted up along with the plastic SpiroTip I couldn’t get it back into place again so that it works.

Close-up image of the broken Zumio - the plastic tip slightly separated from the body, with a lighter purple spot in the center of the tip, indicitative of where it bent

And this part leads me to concerns about their Limited Warranty…

Notes on the Zumio Limited Warranty

The warranty only covers any defects in material or workmanship under normal use during the warranty period of 1 year after the date of purchase. Is my accident with the bent SpiroTip considered a defect? I spoke with a rep from Zumio who said that no, it’s not considered a defect5 and probably wouldn’t be covered under warranty. Yet they do not warn about this and give you no way to to prevent it happening during travel. I haven’t bothered to ask if my second, and fatal, break would be covered under warranty – I doubt it. At this point, I have serious concerns about the build quality and their warranty.

I would also like to note that despite their constant claims of a 60-second orgasm on their site and social media there is no “satisfaction guarantee” and if this product doesn’t give you the 60-second orgasm they talk so much about don’t expect to get your money back. You wouldn’t expect that with any other sex toy, I know, but this feels like a weird juxtiposition to me.

It’s also noted that, according to the manufacturer, the average life span of the Zumio is about 2 years, which may vary with usage patterns. I suppose this might mean that if you apply a little pressure and if you really love it and use it a lot, it probably won’t last you two years. While the Zumio is 10 times more intense than the Eroscillator, to me, the Eroscillator has a much better track record for longevity even though their warranty period is the same.

An Exceedingly Long Charge Time

It’s not noted on their website but it is noted on the SheVibe page that charge time is “16 hours, from low battery to full battery” and this charge time gets you up to 4 hours of use, but as little as 75 minutes of use if you apply pressure and use it on a higher intensity setting a lot. Since applying pressure dampens the action considerably, you probably will have to increase the intensity, like I did. I can tell you I got nowhere near 4 hours of use on a full charge. I never ran a stop-watch while I was using it but if your use time on a full charge is under an hour then you have a defective unit. You can absolutely just pop it in the charging stand and charge for say, an hour or two, and then use the Zumio again. You don’t always have to fully charge it.

If you’re lucky enough that the Zumio works quickly for you then even just 75 minutes of total use time would equal a lot of orgasms, right? Except that I don’t know how normal non-use battery drainage works here. It’s not a lithium battery, it’s NiMH 350mAh. I’ve had plenty of sex toys lose their charge during dormant periods of use and I don’t claim to know if it’s related to a certain battery type.

Should You Buy The Zumio?

Obviously, I’m not a fan. I don’t hate the Zumio and it’s not the worst thing ever but it’s certainly not what I would expect from an “award winning” sex toy. If I do my best to get over my hatred of their prescribed useage and empty promises full of marketing lingo that makes me stabby, my opinion still slants towards “maybe give this a pass”. The button placement is a major issue for me and while the sensation it provides is certainly unique it’s also only going to be perfectly right for a small portion of people. I can’t just say “if you know you like pinpoint vibrations” because that’s me and I didn’t love it. The Zumio Classic is currently $140 – a lot of money to spend on such a finicky sex toy. Given my problems with the build quality and the extremely restrictive warranty I’m reluctant to recommend purchase. I can’t recommend the Eroscillator instead simply because the Eroscillator isn’t nearly as intense so it’s still apples and oranges. I’d pick the Tango but I’ve been told that for some folks it’s not pinpoint enough. The Womanizer feels nothing like the Zumio but, for me, is much more satisfying and provides a true build-up in intensity from light to “whoa nelly”.

The company has already created a slightly different model, the Zumio Caress, which will be out in a few months. I’ve attached a guide sheet that the company provided me with and it shows that the Caress has a shorter tip made out of softer material (I don’t know what it is) and that it is less intense than the Zumio Classic. The overall design is still the same and with a shorter tip I would have even more difficulty accessing the buttons, making this even more awkward to hold and frustrating to use. I think that I could appreciate the Tip redesign but it needs a body overhaul.

 

My thanks to Shevibe for providing me with the Zumio in exchange for my honest review! You can get the Zumio at Shevibe here.

  1. lowest? depends on orientation – regardless, I mean the “increase” button
  2. according to the manufacturer, of course
  3. but not nearly as effectively as the Eroscillator
  4. Why? Because the cracks in the plastic will harbor bacteria and potentially scratch/abrade/irritate the delicate tissue of the labia and clitoris
  5. In fact, they expressed surprise at what happened and said that it would take “considerable force” to bend the tip – I disagree
Jan 142018
 

My last post was written more for creators and businesses about Facebook Pages, but this post is for you, dear reader. Just like entertainers would be nothing without their fans, bloggers (like any other type of writer) would be nothing without their readers. You literally make or break us. It’s our job as bloggers to be interesting to you, to provide you with hot/funny/smart/helpful blog posts, but it’s hard sometimes. We do our level best to write great content and promote ourselves but then one by one the places we connect best with you, the places we were told we could be, are silencing us and throttling our reach. Every post that someone writes from the depth of their soul, whispering a thing they think they’re alone in feeling/doing/wanting, someone else out there feels a little bit better knowing that they are not alone. 

The Social Media Problem

Facebook is throttling pages. Twitter has been shadow-banning. Tumblr hides adult content from the searches. Instagram, and Facebook, can decide on a whim if you’ve shared a photo they deem too revealing and suspend or delete your account. They all automatically try to tell us that we, too, can reach more people if we just give them money yet every single time they say “NOPE. You write about sex. Some of our audience finds SEX offensive. We don’t promote you in exchange for money. Good day, Sir. You lose! I SAID GOOD DAY!”

Every one of these social media platforms uses algorthyms to better determine what they think you want to see. I mean, you’ve followed us, so you know you want to see our content but these networks want proof. In triplicate. Repeatedly. 

So what can you do? Like. Retweet. React. Comment. Reblog. Share. These actions all tell that social media network that you love us, you really love us and you want to continue to see our content.

Currently, you can find me on Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Pinterest, Google, and Facebook (but please click “Follow” rather than “Friend” if we don’t actually know each other). Follower counts mean a lot, more than I wish they did, so that would be awesome if you follow.

Instagram

An update to this post about Instagram: If you follow us on IG and feel up for it, comment (4 words or more) on our pictures. React as soon as you see something. Because Facebook owns Instagram, they are similarly deciding to throttle IG. Shit gets really complicated and it seems like there’s a lot of hoops to jump through.

The Money Problem – Advertisers and Sponsored Posts

Often you may see ad banners in your favorite bloggers’ sidebars or notice a sponsored post. If they’re good, and many are really good, that sponsored post is nothing more than a post they were going to publish anyways but someone with a business relevant to the subject matter said “hey, I’ll pay you to put a link to my porn site into that post about porn” and that’s it. The best sponsored posts aren’t written by anyone else but the blogger and don’t read like a giant advertisement, but they’re making money on what is truly a job – yes, blogging (writing) is a job.

So you notice the ads and you see the sponsored links, but maybe they don’t appeal to you. Maybe it’s for a sex toy shop that you know your favorite blogger wouldn’t really want you to shop at, because they care about supporting feminist sex toy shops that give accurate product descriptions, educate their buyers, behave well on social media, and more. But it would still be rad if you just click on the link or banner because then those advertisers feel like they got their money’s worth which means they very well may renew their ad banner or work with the blogger again on another sponsored post. Some bloggers list their advertisers as “sponsors” because companies get salty about such blatant words that convey that money changed hands and we’re not organically recommending them. If you’re ever unsure about which banners are for companies the blogger recommends and which banners are there because they paid to be there, ask the blogger for clarification. 

Another easy thing to do? Comment on our posts. Any of them – but preferably make your comment relevant and if it’s a big detailed “help me find a sex toy” thing, send an email instead. Comments on the posts are the easiest way for advertisers to know we have an engaged reader base, that people are actually coming through from social media to read our stuff. This makes them more likely to meet our rates or pay us at all. Not sure what to say? Literally the simplest things can be enough; from “Oh, cool, I didn’t know that!” to agreeing with a reviewer’s opinion on an aspect of the sex toy they loved/hated, or “This was a great post, thanks for writing it”, and even just “Sharing this!”. Your favorite bloggers may, or may not, respond to every comment so don’t go in expecting that but do know we see you, we appreciate you, we thank you.

I currently use Disqus for commenting, and hold everything for moderation because hey, it’s the internet and that means spam. You can have a Disqus account, or not, on my site. How? Click in that field that says “Sign up For Disqus” and instead, go check the box below it that says “I’d rather post as a guest”. Please still use your email address, a valid one, if you ever want a response – your email address won’t be visible to others!

The Money Problem – Affiliate Earnings Explained

Many bloggers, especially review bloggers, have affiliate links. Most bloggers are ethical and are not recommending any old thing just to get you to spend money. Most bloggers who review sex toys give you their opinion, be it good or bad. Most of us don’t want you to buy that crappy sex toy we just couldn’t like, so our review will be negative but we’ll probably tell you which other sex toy you’d like instead. My point is: affiliate links are not the devil, they’re not proof we’ve “sold out” or can’t be trusted.

We can’t exchange our vibrators for cash and our landlords and electric companies and web hosting companies won’t take a dildo as payment. We’ve tried, no dice. I got some Looks at the grocery store when I tried to feed my out-dated vibrators into the Coinstar machine. After the 9th sex toy you’ve reviewed that just doesn’t work for you and will never be used again you, as a reviewer, start to realize that the “free sex toy” isn’t compensation enough for the hours you’ve spent writing the review and testing the toy.

Here’s the thing about how affiliate links work: It doesn’t cost you anything. There’s no upcharge at the retailer for buying your stuff through our links. The retailers don’t charge more overall to make up for it1. But you do have to buy something; just clicking the link doesn’t do anything for us. If you tend to visit a lot of review bloggers looking for the review that tells you what you need to know and you’ve been clicking on a bunch of affiliate links, the best way to make sure the blogger of your choosing gets credit for the sale is to clear your cookies for that retailer’s site and then click the blogger’s link. It doesn’t matter if you click their link to the Magic Wand and end up buying the Doxy, it’ll still give them credit for the sale.

Buy through the stores I support to support me: SheVibe, Early to Bed, and Smitten Kitten are US-based but will ship elsewhere. Come As You Are is in Canada. I’m also affiliated with GoodVibes, and, if you’re shopping at Amazon I am also an affiliate there. Naturally I would rather you not buy sex toys from Amazon but I get a bit of a commission on anything you buy. I do still have an affiliate account with Lovehoney US, even though I’m no longer supporting them.

If you can’t purchase anything, you can still comment on our reviews, and share them far and wide! This helps the shops know that our reviews are seen and anybody new who sees our review might end up buying from our links.

Support Us With Money

What if you come to me for sex toy buying advice but, due to your location, can’t buy from a website I’m affiliated with? Easy – send me a little something via Paypal, if you can. If you can’t, that’s okay too, just find the other ways here to support us. When we spend multiple back-and-forth emails with you we’re helping you because it matters to us that you find a great sex toy, but it’s also a lot of labor. It’s not mandatory but it’s definitely appreciated2. Other bloggers might use something other than Paypal and you’ll probably find a button for that in their side bar. Don’t see anything? Ask. They will happily tell you.

Have I helped you, but you couldn’t use my affiliates? Drop me a few bucks at Paypal.

If the blogger you follow has a Patreon account, support them there. If they have a wishlist someplace, buy something from it for them.

Other Ways to Let Us Know You’re Out There, For Free

At the end of the day, unless a blogger never wants to have advertisers, never cares about having many readers, never wants to make any money for their time and efforts at all, it’s important for us to have tangible proof that you like us. Ranking lists use our follower counts across all platforms to determine our popularity and therefore value. Advertisers look at our traffic and our subscribers and followers to know that they’ll be getting something for their money.

But you know what? We also just want to know that our words matter to someone. That we’re doing an okay job. I’ve seen too many bloggers who were decent and on the path to being great just quit because they simply didn’t think anybody was reading their stuff. It’s hard sometimes to put forth the immense effort (and some money) to write when it feels like you’re basically an astronaut floating in space, nobody listening to your mic, no one there to see or be seen.

**You can help by sharing the posts that you liked; many bloggers have a sharing plugin installed like mine that shows up beneath each post and lets you quickly and easily share this post in a multitude of ways.

**You can help by signing up for our newsletters, even if you already follow us on social media. It’s another measuring stick but it’s also a great way to ensure you really do see our posts. Those of us who have newsletters also often put content in them that isn’t on the website, or give you perks when it comes time for giveaways. You can also subscribe to our RSS feeds.

**Some bloggers are only on Twitter, some are on multiple social media platforms. Try sharing their stuff on a platform they don’t use! Many of us can’t stomach the harsh environment of Reddit, but it can be a really big boost to our traffic and earnings to find that someone linked to our review or our educational post, etc. I used to spend a lot of time there, helping people with their sex toy questions, but the toxic environment got the best of me. If you see someone recommending a shitty brand or a shitty material, educate them with my posts! Share responsibly, though. You never need permission to share a link but you do need permission to quote large tracks of posts or share our photos.

**Some bloggers are also educators – they’re doing workshops at stores or online, and signal-boosting their marketing for those workshops is important and helps. Their audience turn-out will determine if they get hired again, and sometimes the stores themselves don’t do a great job at promoting all workshops.

 

Many years ago we sex bloggers started getting the shit end of the stick from the free blogging platforms like Blogger and WordPress. Blogs would be deleted with no warning, no way to back up. Bloggers have realized that they need to rely only on their hosting company and own their domain, but that costs money. Nearly everybody in the sexuality spectrum online is working for peanuts – educators, bloggers, podcasters, Youtubers. The way YouTube is censoring sexuality and LGBTQIA ‘Tubers from making any ad money means these folks are working for tips (aka affiliate earnings or literal tips), often times. And I know from experience that making a video is harder than writing a blog post. We are educating you, we are supporting you, we are letting you know you’re not alone but we need your help. So make note of those bloggers you enjoy the most and do whatever you’re capable of to signal-boost or line their pockets. Every single little bit matters.

Thank you for reading, and for wanting to take care of your bloggers.

Thanks especially to those folks who’ve already purchased through my links; 2017 was a fucking hard year for me and my partner, and he missed a lot of work. A lot a lot. If we didn’t have a ridiculously understanding boss and this blog, he would be unemployed and we would have lost our house. For as hard as the year was, I still have a lot to be grateful for.

  1. How do I know? I don’t know everything about every company, sure, but I’ve worked with enough retailers in my time to see that some charge more than others while either not having any affiliate program or having one but offering a very low percentage of the sale. I’ve come across companies who don’t yet make enough consistent sales to afford giving a percentage of their profit to affiliates, but I’ve never found a company willing to charge more than other retailers simply to afford paying affiliates
  2. but please don’t let this stop you from asking us for help – we know our limits and when we have the time and ability to help
 Posted by at 5:17 pm
Jan 122018
 

Text reads: Dear Facebook, We're just no good together. It's not me, it's you. No Love, Lilly. Text is over a washed out image of a barren, cracked 2-lane highway in the middle of nowhere. As a blogger, and especially as a sexuality blogger, I’m forever frustrated with Facebook. We all are. From their “real names” policy which wasn’t just about threatened the safety of trans folx, drag performers, and even abused spouses, to how they nerfed Pages once already and how they’re so incredibly sex-negative they’ll consistently tempt you with offers of how well your post “could” be doing if only you would give them money but tsk tsk, silly sex blogger, they won’t take your money. Your money is dirty and your site offends someone! Or, gd forbid, there is the slightest hint of something that could be breast cleavage in the photos or art you used in the fundraisers you’re running at Youcaring and because of one goddamn photo and possibly, maybe, the word “sex” they won’t even let you boost a post to fucking raise money to help someone out. But today’s post isn’t focusing on how Facebook, and social media in general, is targeting the sex ed/sex toy industry (though, they are) it’s about what Facebook is going to do to all bloggers, personas, artists, and businesses.

Once again, Facebook is tightening the reins and dictating how it’s used. They go through our photos and our names to make sure everything there would be worthy of a stamp of approval from Tipper Gore. First, they tell you that you cannot have a profile that doesn’t match the name on your government-issued ID, and they push you towards instead creating a Page. But then they throttle what Pages share and only show your stuff to a small percentage of the people who voluntarily elected to see your shit. Before we think this is just the sex industry, nay nay, even the comedic gold of The Oatmeal is throttled. At least he can buy the goddamn ads they’re tempting him with if he wanted to spend $2,000 to reach 10% of his followers. We, in the sex or sex-adjacent industry, can’t. 

Where was I? Oh yes. So they throttle our Pages and instead push advertising – repeatedly and mockingly. Facebook thrives on advertising; they’re raking in money hand over fist. Suddenly, though, the Zuck had a change of heart1 and is throwing pages (“public content”) under the bus“But recently we’ve gotten feedback from our community that public content — posts from businesses, brands, and media — is crowding out the personal moments that lead us to connect more with each other,” he says.  Then there’s a lot of flowery prose about connections and hope and love and other bullshit and finally the hard line for us: “As we roll this out, you’ll see less public content like posts from businesses, brands, and media. “ 

For a moment, I sighed in frustration. I was mad. But then I decided to go look and really see just how much worse it could get for me because I already know that it’s not great in the present day.

This One’s For The Numbers Geeks

At first, I did the easiest metric I could: The percentage of my readers that come from Facebook, according to my WordPress stats. I charted the number of referrals it picked up from Facebook and my visitor numbers – now, to be clear, this doesn’t limit it to my Facebook Page posts. This is all of Facebook, including my profile and whatever anybody else links to. Here’s what I found: the best and worst percentage of referrals to visitors per month didn’t line up with the actual most and least amount of referrals sent per month2. My worst was October with the percentage at 0.86% and the best was November at 2.06%.

My best was 2 fucking percent. My yearly average was 1.39%. But remember: this doesn’t represent the work of my Page alone.

January and February gave me more referrals simply due to the sheer volume of posts I had going on. The other higher-performing months were August with the I-wanna-know-the-drama effect of telling people what the Screaming O did, accompanied by an attention-grabbing collage of middle-finger-thrusting people. And November, with its 5 paltry posts? The secret there was that while all 5 posts did indeed lead to a review on my blog, the post wasn’t seen by Facebook as a “link post”. It was seen as a “photo” because when I shared the post across social media via Hootsuite I attached a photo for it to show versus letting it choose the one designated by my SEO plug-in. Those 5 posts had whopping reach numbers. Nearly all “photo” posts did considerably better than “link” posts or simple “status” posts – at least as far as number of people reached is concerned. Link clicks? They remained the same compared to posts that reached 150 people. People simply don’t want to leave Facebook, I guess. Hell, this one claims to have reached an unheard-of 13,949 people…but only 3 of them clicked my link. It was never shared but it did force 17 people to tell Facebook to permanently hide all of my future posts from their timeline. Thanks for nothing, Facebook.

In December my posts, on average, were shown to 86 people – a minimum of 18 and a maximum of 242. But I have, as of this writing, 1750 followers on that Facebook page. My posts in December were going to, at worst, 1% of my followers and, at best, 13.8% of my followers.

Here’s the kicker though: Remember how I said that my WordPress stats don’t know where on Facebook the referrals came from? I picked February – not my absolute most in referrals, but it’s up there – 1,392. Of those, it appears that only 275 came from people clicking my Facebook Page post, according to the “insights” from Facebook. It doesn’t appear that very many of those were shared, either. For all of my efforts in February- 36 posts (link posts) which supposedly were all seen by 4,797 people cumulatively, I netted a for-sure 275 site visits. That’s 5.7% of already-paltry low percentage of my followers who’ve even seen those posts. That 4,797 across February counts the same person every time they see the post. If every follower saw every post then February’s posts would have been seen 63,000 times. I achieved only 7.6% of that.

Why in the actual fuck am I even trying? No, seriously?

We know that the throttling is going to get worse because both Zuckerberg and Mosseri (Head of News Feed) confirmed it: “Pages may see their reach, video watch time and referral traffic decrease,” said Mosseri.

I haven’t given up on the page entirely because of the idea that somewhere out there are some fans of my site that only ever get their updates about me from my Facebook page. And because, like holding onto the myth of silicone touching silicone, it’s been hard to get the industry to realize that they need to stop obsessing over how many Facebook followers we have as a metric of how “good” or “popular” or “valuable” we are. I want to stop have businesses insist that I ask my readers to follow them on Facebook for an entry in a contest. I want ranking lists to stop looking at the metric to rank our worth and popularity.

This throttling of the pages is worse for the folx who were told by Facebook that they couldn’t have a pseudonym profile and had theirs taken away, or the ones too afraid to even try thanks to the tangled web of connections where you would have to use two separate computers and smartphones to successfully have two separate Profiles that never get recommended to each other’s friends (and zero friends in common). People who can use their real name for a “business” or “fan” profile and keep their real-life friends-and-family profile locked down a little better will simply have to double down on the Profile posts to see any value from sharing their shit on Facebook. But this means we’ll have to accept “friend” requests from literally anybody and everybody just to have our stuff seen by enough people. And still, I ask: why am I even trying?? The hustle life of a blogger, I guess?

So What Now? What Can YOU Do?

Clearly, the vast majority of my traffic from Facebook doesn’t come from my Page and it will only get worse. At this point I think I’m going to close the page and direct those followers to “follow” me (not “friend” me) on my profile – they’ll probably have a bigger chance of seeing anything I share!

This is a great time to remind you that you can always thank me for the help I give my donating to my Paypal and buying from my affiliate links. If you do follow me on any social media account, sharing my posts is a great help – and free! Thanks to the way Twitter and Facebook work, simply “liking” my posts and interacting with them will help get them seen by others. Cheer me on with comments and emails. Sign up for my weekly (ish) RSS newsfeed in your inbox!

  1. Is there one under there?
  2. I had to ignore December’s numbers because one day in December someone – I don’t know who because they didn’t tag me – linked to my Hiky review and sent over 7800 views to that review alone – so I estimated the anomaly and deducted it from December’s totals to give a bit more accurate picture.
 Posted by at 7:09 pm
Jan 062018
 

Je Joue Bullets Classic and G-Spot against a light blue patterned backgroundWhen I first saw the new Je Joue bullets I had two thoughts. First: Oh god, more bullets. Second: Well, it’s Je Joue and except for that other extremely unfortunate line, I’ve really enjoyed every vibrator of theirs that I’ve tried and tend to recommend them highly. Also: that teaser video they put out for them where they did the water-displacement trick gave me hope – while they didn’t fight fair and compare their bullet to something actually comparable like the Tango, I did recognize that particular “style” of water displacement, the cue for “rumble and power”. So I reached out to Je Joue and eventually, a very nice rep said he’d send me the whole line which pleased me greatly because you all know how much I love to compare and contrast. After putting 2 of the 3 Je Joue Bullets through their paces I feel ready to recommend them!

A Play in Three Acts – Je Joue Bullets

Did you notice that I said “2 of the 3”? They sent me the whole line but I knew I wouldn’t like the Je Joue Rabbit Bullet because I hate “ears” on my clitoral vibrators. Yes, I love pinpoint stimulation – on one side. Whether they are ears or rigid prongs I’ve just never been a fan. I can tell you why I dislike ears easier than why I dislike prongs but it boils down to this: there’s no motor in the ears. They’re just fluff. They vibrate as wobbly antennae, protruding away from the motor and are therefore never rumbly or powerful enough for me and they crumble to nothing when smothered by chubby labia. Folks who need a more subtle approach tend to love them, though (if this is you? get the Rabbit bullet).

There was a bit of information noticeably missing from their early promos; info I find crucial: They took the idea behind the Mimi Soft and built that into the bullets. The tips are squishy! Folks who hate hard, rigid powerful bullets will really love these. The Je Joue Classic Bullet has a moderate amount of squishy bits, it’s just in the bullet-pointy tip part. The Je Joue G-Spot Bullet has the most – the squish begins the moment that tip angles out. The G-Spot Bullet will be the one you pick if you want power AND the most squish for your buck. The squishiness of the squish bits is the same as the Mimi Soft – so not quite as squishy as the Tenga Iroha vibes. But it feels more practical in use and placement of the squish compared to most Iroha styles1. All that being said: I couldn’t exactly feel the squish in use. It’s not like the marshmallow tip on the Eroscillator. But it can make it much more comfortable for those who like pressure.

Je Joue Bullet Classic, Je Joue Mimi Soft and Je Joue Bullet G-Spot lined up with a line drawn to show where the squishy bits startBut I’m definitely not on board with the G-Spot Bullet as an actual G-spot vibrator. In fact, the whole premise greatly confuses me and this is coming from a person with a shallow G-spot. Overall the G-spot bullet is just about 4.25″ long. The buttons are located on the shaft of the bullet which means the insertable portion is really short: 2.0″ if I’m being generous, giving you a mere half of an inch below the “high” or “increase” button and really, even then, you’re going to have trouble hitting that button. It just isn’t practical in my eyes to buy this as a G-Spot internal vibrator. As an external vibrator? It’s awesome and I love it.  So while I love this one for it’s big, squishy bulby tip, I twitch at it being called the G-Spot Bullet and prescribed as such but then perhaps I’m being short-sighted and there are folx out there who would actually need and use a slender vibrator with a max insertion length of about 2 inches.

What Is Happening With This Motor??

Two months ago this paragraph looked very different; my overall assessment and enjoyment of the motors in the Je Joue Bullets has increased the more I use them.

There are three things to know about me and my vibrator preferences: I usually need pinpoint stimulation, I love truly deep, rumbling vibrations (the more rumble the more better), and I hate patterns. Because these are bullets they’ve got the first requirement nailed down. I’d expected the same motor found in the Mimi but instead found something that confused me. The first four (of five) intensity levels aren’t exactly what I’d call “straight vibrations”. It’s like a really rapid pulsing that feels like it’s mimicking rumbling, thuddy vibrations. But yet it’s not really what I’d call a pattern and the funny thing is – I don’t hate it. Overall the motor still leans heavily more to the rumbly side of the scale but things feel different from the We-Vibe Tango or the Je Joue Mimi. I’d still call it rumbly, and possibly gently thuddy, while the highest level of intensity brings a tiny bit of buzz back to the party and removes the pulsating thud.

The lowest settings on the Je Joue bullets are nice and effective enough, while the highest setting is probably equal to the middle level of the Tango, or somewhere between mid and high level of the Tango2.  I was on the fence about these vibrations until I clocked more than 10 uses and realized I kept picking them up3. A bullet is basically my hands-free set-it-and-come vibrator that is great when I’m masturbating at my desk or otherwise sitting up and unable to relax, lay back, and spread out for the Womanizer. 

I prefer the Womanizer as my top choice for clitoral stimulation but it’s not always practical for my positioning the way a bullet can be. I do still feel like if given the choice, I’d pick the Tango over the Je Joue Bullets because I like the Tango’s motor a little better and, even though it has a single button to hate, there are fewer patterns so it’s much quicker and easier to cycle back through. The button differences have their pros and cons each so it’ll depend on how you use it.

The Cons – Because There’s Always a Few Cons

Je Joue Bullet buttons vs Je Joue Mimi buttonsI hate the buttons. I really fucking hate the buttons. I can see why they went this way – 3 buttons are absolutely better than one. Three allows you to traverse the intensities up and down as you please without forcing you to hit up floors 3, 4 and 5 when you’re on 2 and just wanna revisit 1 briefly to back off.  But having three buttons on a bullet means the buttons need to go on the “shaft” rather than the end. No matter how I hold it or how many times I’ve used it I can’t get accustomed to these barely-perceptible buttons that are smushed close together, and I’m often4 hitting the wrong damn button. It’s often enough that I end up hitting the “pattern” button way too often – often enough that if I were the type to give a star rating in my reviews, the buttons would knock off a full star. In use, if you can’t see the buttons you also can barely feel them, much less tell them apart quickly and easily. I hate patterns and wish they didn’t exist on these bullets.

I love versatility in a sex toy and these bullets when compared to the Tango, lack that somewhat. The Je Joue Bullets can’t be used inside other toys. They are versatile with external use, though, and provide a more pinpoint option than the Mimi.

A Solid “Hey These Are Pretty Darn Good” Rating

The Je Joue bullets are not taking any crowns or awards home for the most rumbly or powerful bullets on the market; they’re not the most affordable. They ARE waterproof, though, and have a warranty. But it’s a solid 7 for me and for others it may even rank higher. I really enjoy them, despite a few qualms and a hatred of the buttons. I enjoy the squishy-squashy tips, the weird motor and the fact that they charge via mini-USB. I prefer the motor in these over the Jopen $50 mini vibes, so the $10 boost in price feels like a worthwhile upgrade – plus I also hate the Jopen buttons PLUS the Jopen vibes charge via pin-style plug connector. Anything that charges via mini-USB gets a little boost from me since I can charge my phone or mouse with the same cable.The Je Joue bullets, despite being a far less pretty “sad purple” are a lot better in use than any Crave bullet or Crave mini vibrator I’ve tried.

There are lower-priced rechargeable bullets that are powerful, such as the Screaming O Charged Positive or Vooom but I flat-out refuse to support that company and recommend any of their products. If price is a big factor to you and thuddy rumbles matter less, you’ll probably end up picking the Screaming O bullet, much to my chagrin. I’d rather you not, okay? Thankssss. I do encourage you to try out a Je Joue Bullet! They’re neat!

 

These bullets were provided to me by Je Joue in exchange for my honest review and can be purchased at SheVibe for $59.

  1. I’ve never written “squish” quite so many times in a review, I think this is a new record
  2. My kingdom for a goddamn working Tango charger
  3. Have I mentioned I need a goddamn working Tango charger? My Tangos are all still dead because I’ve lost one charging cable and the other doesn’t work
  4. Nearly always
Dec 312017
 

As part of a new-to-me end-of-the-year series of posts, I’m telling you about my favorite things from 2017. When I asked folks on Twitter what “favorite things” they’d like to know about, Violet asked for my favorite tools, apps, etc. that I use for blogging.  I doubt you’ll see anything truly ground-breaking here. In fact, you might find out that I’m a stodgy old man and refuse to use the new-fangled replacement services because I can’t figure them out. I tend to stick with what I know how to use and what works for my quirks. I’m not a professional, I just pretend to be one. If you want truly professional advice on what to use to help you blog, take Epiphora & JoEllen’s class, and if you want to take $10 off their class, use code LILLY. That’s not a plug; I’m serious.

This post is light on outgoing links because I think that most of you can easily locate these services, phone apps and WordPress plugins but if you’re really having trouble ask and I’ll link to it.

Social Media

HootSuite is something I use just for manually scheduling social media posts to Facebook and Twitter, for new  blog posts. Sure, it’s also an app to display your Twitter and Facebook feeds but I’m just not into it for that, I’m old school (despite the frustrations with Facebook and Twitter’s native sites). When I have a new post I like to write the social media bits myself, make a few different ones, and schedule them here and there. The free version only lets you do 30 posts, which is 10 if you’re sharing between Twitter, Facebook profile and Facebook page. But usually that’s plenty for me for a single post.

Buffer was something I used now and then to schedule social media posts for older, existing blog posts. Now and then I’d sit down and go through the shareable old blog posts, write up something catchy, and fill up the queue. Why don’t I just automate it, you ask? Because there are plenty of older posts I don’t think are worth being re-shared, whether it’s due to it being a fluff piece, bad writing, or out-dated. I like seeing when each social media post is going to hit, what’s left in the queue, etc. Buffer also gave pretty good feedback. But you’ll notice that I’ve talked about this app in past-tense – I just haven’t had the spoons to do this sort of “ICYMI” in a while. It does take some time to think up quippy bits about each post or simply decide to use ones that have gone well in the past (it saves them all). But it does do something good for my traffic so when I’m doing a little better, I’ll be buffering up some old posts. There’s a free version which gives you limited access, but the paid version is only $105 for a year and adds on many social media profiles (sadly, not Tumblr) and lets your queue reach 100. With Buffer I tend to allow it to auto-schedule the posts based on the “ideal times” for each platform.

Wakelet is something I’m still trying to figure out as a replacement for Storify which will go the way of the dinosaurs in a few months. Storify was super helpful to curate social media posts on a certain topic or hashtag, great for conferences and more. So far, Wakelet appears to be the closest thing to Storify so if you have figured out how to use it, educate the rest of us in comments, okay?

Images

I have a Creative Cloud subscription to Photoshop CC, but I only have it installed on my desktop. If I’m working on blog stuff from my day job or literally anywhere else then I have to find new ways to create social media and blog images.

I do this with a combination of free websites like PicMonkey and Pixlr. Pixlr is similar enough to Photoshop but certain actions are clunky to perform, like easily pasting an oversized image and resizing it.  If I absolutely must do it all with my phone, then Snapseed is a nice little editor app for Android that also lets me watermark.

If my Instagram images are a sex toy or something that I think will get shared then I watermark it. Many people don’t want to do this and don’t want to ruin an otherwise great photo but a couple of apps actually allow me to add ©dangerouslilly.com and my IG name in a fairly-unobtrusive way. Why do I go through this? Because people don’t know how to use IG and often don’t attribute or ask consent. Go figure. There are quite a few apps for Android that do this and while I wanted to like Salt just for its name, it doesn’t have enough features to make up for the fact that you get a limited number of uploads/shares of your finished image for free. Snapseed makes the text look pretty and I can rotate it to fit nicely in a corner, like this. Watermark lets you put in your signature or a simplified text watermark when something basic will suffice, but has intrusive ads.

Dropbox is something I have connected to my phone which, due to laziness, is how I take nearly all of my photos for blogging these days. It syncs up my videos and images from my phone to my home computer, laptop, and the Dropbox cloud. Any cloud-storage system will work here, it’s just key to utilize one. It lets me easily have access to files no matter where I am when I’m working on a post or sharing sale images during the holidays when I may be traveling.  It also holds all my favorite EffinBird images for on-the-fly salty Twitter responses to jerks from any location.

Auxiliary Tools

Grammarly is a browser extension I use to help me catch grammar mistakes based on rules I don’t remember or know. It’s a little iffy in Firefox but works very well in Chrome. It helps me with comma placement, catching typos and more.

Rafflecopter has been my go-to contest/giveaway app after trying out a few others. I like the variety of entry methods, the ease of use, and just the whole thing in general. It’s a personal preference, really.  Gleam is my choice if I decide to utilize the “viral sharing” aspect, which I often don’t simply because I really hate excessive tweets and social media shares about giveaways, and hate contributing to that. Gleam seems to be better than Rafflecopter at verifying for you that someone has done a social media thing you’ve asked them to do.

Bit.ly is one of many link-shortening services out there but it seems to be the most popular. I don’t use it all the time but I do when I think far enough in advance to want to track the popularity of a link or know which links are doing the best. It’s also very easy to create your own custom link ending at bit.ly, so that copy/pasting these links from something like Instagram is easy. If I want to include a link in an IG post and especially if it’s something I’m cross-posting from IG to other sites, like Tumblr or Facebook, I’ll paste the entire bit.ly link starting with http. This makes the text work as a link in Tumblr.

Essential WordPress Plugins

©Feed allows me to put threatening little messages, er I mean, it allows me to put a warning message in for scrapers. Sometimes, scrapers take the entire RSS entry and never edit it – leaving the links intact. The message I can add to ©Feed helps find scrapers, at the very least.

Public Post Preview lets you share a secret link with friends or colleagues or collaborators to see the same sort of preview that you can from WordPress when you click on “preview this post”. It shows how it looks on your blog, in other words, rather than just sharing a document.

Yoast SEO allows me to do everything from setting a social-media-only featured image to making sure my keyword count is half-decent.

The WP Front Notification Bar is as far as I’ll ever go with “pop-up” messages. It hovers up there at the top of your screen, visible as soon as you start scrolling. It takes up very little screen real estate on a laptop or desktop and is easy to dismiss – or not. Unlike a traditional pop-up, you can easily continue to read my post without any annoying intrusions. I hate pop-ups and know that you probably do, too.

Shareaholic is the social-media sharing bar I’ve liked the most over the years. There are many, but I just like this one. I find it essential to allow folks an easy way to share my posts via their preferred social media account with the click of a button rather than expecting them to copy, paste and ping me all on their own.

Fast Secure Contact Form lets me create a contact form but also lets me create an auto-response email. This can simply be something to let people know they’ve successfully sent you a message, but I prefer to let the auto-response act as a quick FAQ, something that answers a fair amount of questions all on its own.

FD Footnotes is something I use a lot because I really love footnotes. It lets me go off on slight tangents or babble a little more.

Wordfence is a security tool that helps block hackers trying to access your blog’s backend to infect it with a virus.

And finally, Search Regex is a tool that allows you to find-and-replace words or phrases easily across your blog. This is useful for changing affiliate codes or links easily en masse or one at a time.

 

Hope this helps! Bloggers, what are some of your favorites?

 Posted by at 12:46 pm
Dec 222017
 

As part of a new-to-me end-of-the-year series of posts, I’m telling you about my favorite things from 2017. There are so many bloggers and blogs out there that I love and admire but I simply couldn’t list everyone in this year’s post. I’ve focused on those who’ve influenced and inspired me the most this year be it through their blog, their social media, or their presence elsewhere.

Ducky DooLittle’s inspiring role-model status exceeds far beyond her scope as a blogger. As you may remember from earlier in the year it was my trust in her judgment and ethics, and her insider knowledge and assurances, that led me to remove Blush Novelties from my Blacklist and start promoting their silicone products. One of my favorite Ducky Things was a video she did for Tantus where she read off (and showed examples of) a list of shocking things people have put into their butts, and lost. I can’t tell you how many times I tell someone “if a bottle of pancake syrup can get lost, so can that plug and its paltry base”. This year Ducky has also battled cancer – opening up publicly on her blog about it – and is now battling the health insurance company for the coverage she deserves. She was one of the biggest supporters of a fundraiser I created this year to help a fellow blogger recover from the devastating floods in Houston, offering up everything she could to get more donations. Even with health insurance Ducky’s bills are astronomical so I’m working on a YouCaring fundraiser to help her out – so please watch this space. Follow her blog, or on Twitter.

Ruby’s inspiring role-model status also far exceeds beyond her scope as a blogger. On social media and off she is fighting alongside other bloggers against sexist, misogynistic, racist, ableist, body-shaming folks and companies in the sex toy industry. She uses her platform to help make the industry better while working for a company, Doxy, who aligns with our views and ethics. It makes me appreciate Doxy as a company even more that they’ve never tried to silence her on her personal blog and social media accounts. I mean, that shouldn’t be a rare thing but it seems to be. Follow her blog, or on Twitter.

If there’s a community project that needs to find a new home, just ask Molly. Or, maybe don’t, because she’s got enough on her plate! Serving platter might be a better term. Or kitchen table.  She’s taken on hosting numerous memes and blogging challenges; she took over e[lust] for me when I ran out of spoons to keep it going. She took over the Top 100 Sexy Bloggers list from another blogger who had to quit. She helps run Eroticon, a UK event for sex writers. And she has a family! She does things outside of blogging! Truly awe-inspiring, but I secretly think she has a time turner. Follow her blog, or on Twitter.

Kate has been blogging at GirlyJuice for years now and her writing just keeps getting better. Every time I don’t know how she’ll top herself – she does. I have such a crush on her writing! She is eloquent and funny, able to evoke solidarity and empathy in her posts about mental health just as easily as evoking affection and compersion for her sexual escapades. Not only is her writing consistently good, but it’s consistent. It’s abundant. She has endless ideas and nothing seems half-assed. AND she can sing beautifully. AND she is half of the dynamic podcast duo, The Dildorks. AND she writes a lot for publications outside of her blog. AND she keeps a spreadsheet of her sex life. What can’t Kate do?? Follow her blog, or on Twitter.

Another busy dynamo is Girl On the Net who has maintained a popular sex blog that is updated very frequently, has a gift for writing filthy words, has time for the blogging community and her readers, works with Eroticon and probably more – she’s kinda mysterious sometimes so you never know quite what’s up her sleeve. She’s supportive and helpful, funny and crude, and is a joy to know. In addition to the writing on her blog, she’s published a few books! Her views and opinions, while not always mimicing my own, always inspire me to give something a second look. Follow her blog, or on Twitter.

I can’t forget friends like Sarah, my saltner-in-crime who teaches us all so much about social justice and trauma-informed pleasure. Her posts this year about mental health and combining pleasure with political resistance are timely, necessary and empathetic. She is brave and bold and I can’t imagine our niche (or my life) without her, or her love of bread. Follow her blog, or on Twitter.

Then there’s Indigo, who has been an anchor for me in many ways from mental health to working out the nuances of gender & sexuality and how this cis queer person can be the most respectful. I first met Indigo at SFS17 because they were one of the volunteers for my Content Creator Meet n Greet, an event that really stressed me out. But Indigo was like a calming beacon of help and I would have had a lot less sanity by the end of the event without them. Their baby blog is growing wonderfully and I’m so excited to see where it goes. Follow their blog, or on Twitter.

I also think about Taryn, for bringing her SEO knowledge to us and creating a hell of a great blog on asexuality, sex toy reviews and other essays plus being an all-around awesome person to know. She’s inspired me to brush up the back end of my blog and do better with it. It’s hard to believe her blog is just shy of a year old because it feels like she’s been with us for awhile now. She’s just so easy to adore! Follow her blog, or on Twitter.

I have endless admiration and awe for Lunabelle, in general and especially for things she has gone through in her personal life this year. She is strong and brave, a fighter and a fabulous friend. She advocates loudly for large dildos, strange dildos and large and strange dildos. She is hilarious and helpful and is doing all this while raising three smart, funny feminists. Follow her blog, or on Twitter.

And I can’t forget the respect and reverence for Epiphora as she hit a huge milestone this year with ten years of reviewing. She’s probably the most professional, hard-working reviewer I know. I was super proud to share the SheVibe cover with her a few months ago. Follow her blog, or on Twitter.

Last, but almost certainly not least, is Bex. They’ve been transitioning this year and blogging about that, their mental health, and their kinky relationships with such eloquence and intelligence and wit all while being the other amazing half of the podcasting duo The Dildorks. Bex is an amazing person and I’m so thankful to know them. I have learned so much from them this year. Follow their blog, or on Twitter.

 

 

 Posted by at 2:21 pm