Lilly

Sep 102014
 

VixskinRaquel2Like the rabbit vibrator, suction cup dildos are (for me) a great idea in theory but terrible in execution. I’m no spring chicken anymore and I have the knees of a person twice my age. I can’t deny though that plenty of people love these things. One reason why I have trouble with suction cup dildos is the lack of a compatible surface. The surface has to be completely flat and perfectly smooth, no imperfections that would break the suction seal. Bathroom tiles can sometimes work, but they need to be at least 1/2″ bigger than the base on each side to have a chance at working. Mirrors and windows work, of course. Painted walls though, normally do not. Before you get it in your head that the suction cup is for you, make sure you have a surface that’ll work with it. I see a lot of people buying the porous / possibly-toxic versions way, way too often so I’m providing a list of all known safe versions. There’s a surprisingly larger selection than I expected!

Early2Bed carries a few that I’m not yet seeing in many places. Max, Fairy, and Astral. Max is realistic-looking but small while Fairy and Astral (Maia brand) are completely non-realistic.

 Of course with Tantus, there’s the silicone suction cup attachment, which works with their vibrating dildos.

Happy Valley vibrating dildos (Perk, Hottie and Little Hottie) might work with the Tantus suction cup attachment. When I contacted them, they responded with:

All of our dildos are designed with ergonomics and harness compatibility in mind. As the bases are shaped to conform to the natural curves of the body, this does not readily lend itself to suction cup styles. Whilst the Tantus attachment would definitely fit into the vibe hole for both Fuze and Happy Valley toys, I doubt that it would either be comfortable or function to its full potential, due to the different design criteria of ourselves and Tantus.

Pipedream Fetish Fantasy Elite line has a number of silicone dildos & silicone vibrating dildos with suction cup bases but you know they’re not a company I trust. The price is pretty low for the dildos but I’m just in general unconvinced of their overall quality. I’ve not flame-tested anything from them; until I can get my hands on one to flame test and dissect, I’m reluctant to really recommend them but there they are. There’s such a big line that I can’t really ignore them, and they do offer the vibrating aspect which isn’t common for this list. 

 The Colours line, from NS Novelties, has 2 sizes of suction cup dildos in 2 colors.  The overall styling is realistic, but the colors aren’t (charcoal black and hot pink).

Vixen dildos sometimes have a naturally occurring suction cup base. I contacted Vixen to get the complete current line-up:

Vixskin: Tex, Raquel, Randy, Maverick

Original Formula: All with the exception of vibe versions, or anything with testicles (Johnny). i.e. All of the Realistic Bents, Randy, Leo, Mistress, and Woody.

Malesation dildos also have a suction cup base, but I’m not sure yet who is carrying this line, it seems pretty new. New York Toy Collective is unknown; I reached out to them, but received no response. If they respond and they have something, I’ll update here. Pleasureworks doesn’t currently have a consistent concave base on their dildos. If you know of any other brands that have a suction-cup base, either by design or as a by-product of a concave base, let me know!

 

Sep 022014
 

OVO K2 Rabbit VibratorI’ve been eyeing up the OVO brand for a little while now. Silicone sex toys for less? Could it be true? Could they actually be decent? So far, the only reviews I have seen were for their cock rings which were panned pretty hard. But I didn’t worry, cock rings are usually never the highlight of most manufacturer’s product lines. So my first subject is the OVO K2 Rabbit Vibrator. It’s priced UNDER $50 at SheVibe, which is super good for a rabbit. OVO K2 would have blown the competition away if included in my previous round-up of under-$50 rabbits a few months back.

What I dislike: The weird joint where the insertable arm joins the rest of the body, right above the clitoral arm. It makes cleaning a tad bit more irksome than I’d like but it’s a minor seam when compared to the Lelo Insignia line or really, any Lelo. And the clitoral arm could use a tiny bit more power. If you are concerned about this then I suggest the Picobong Kaya. The OVO K2′s power balance has the internal arm a bit stronger than the clitoral arm and the Kaya is reversed. That said, the clitoral arm does have more oomph than say the Fun Factory Amorino or any of those crappy CalExotics cheap rabbits.

What I like: It has a substantial handle to it, and good button placement. There are patterns, but they don’t go crazy with them. The silicone of the usable portion is LIM type, matte-finish and mostly repels dust and fur. It’s similar to the silicone from Picobong and Je Joue. The handle and even battery cap are also covered in silicone, instead of the hard plastic that Picobong and Lelo favor.  It’s even “showerproof” – so take it in the shower, just don’t try to submerge it in bathwater.  Was the vibration level enough for me? No. I require a lot more than this on my clitoris. But unlike other vibes, I feel okay recommending this to people who need less than I do. It’s definitely not surface-buzzy; the clitoral arm is just on the precipice of truly rumbly – it needs just a touch more power. It’s still better than many, though. This is one of those times where I know that just because it didn’t work for me, doesn’t mean it’s a bad toy. I actually like it well enough that I look forward to reviewing more things from OVO.

The OVO K2 is a bit on the short side for the insertable portion, and definitely not girthy. 1.2″ at the widest is the best my aging eyes can discern. There’s just barely 4 inches from the shaft’s tip to the clitoral arm joint, but the clitoral arm extends a whopping 2.75″. The shaft doesn’t have too much of a curve for the g-spot, but the shorter length should help for g-spot placement for many people with a shallow g-spot, located up in the front of the vagina. The clitoral arm is super flexible. It’s about the most flexible one I’ve come across, I think. The Lelo Ina 2 and Jopen Vanity VR6 are definitely kind of “clampy” and can press down hard on the clitoris. If you need “less”, then this is for you.

Top to bottom: Jopen Vanity VR6, Picobong Kaya, OVO K2, Lelo Ina 2  - shown for size and shape comparison. Ina 2 has a more girthy internal arm with a more drastic curve, same as the VR6. Kaya is longer than them all. OVO is clearly the thinnest.

Basically, this is a very decent dual-stimulation vibrator with a really great price tag. Currently it’s $43 at SheVibe. Picobong needs to take note because OVO’s pricing is way more on the mark. There is a shocking 15-year warranty, but you may have to send it to Germany for warranty replacement – I’m waiting to hear back from OVO for confirmation on this, and how it would work. The vibrations are moderate, and won’t work for someone who needs more help than average at reaching orgasm. If you really feel that you definitely don’t need strong vibrations and don’t want a thick shaft, the OVO K2 could work out great for you.  If you think you need a bit more contact on the g-spot and clitoris, the OVO K1 might be the better choice. From what I can tell, it’s still the same smaller width and shorter insertable portion, but there is a different design that is shaped more like the Ina 2 or Vanity VR6. I think I’d end up liking the shape of the K1 just a bit more; hopefully I’ll report back on that one!

 

Thanks to SheVibe for sending me the OVO K2 in exchange for my honest review! SheVibe is my favorite retailer, and an awesome company.

Aug 302014
 

I’m going to start a new little project, and I can’t do it alone. But hey, it benefits you! 

My reviews here are a good balance of subjective and objective, but sometimes they tip the scales into more subjective. Which is really why I started reviewing in the first place – I had a hard time figuring out if a sex toy was going to work out for me without reading about other people’s experiences. But when I talk about how well a toy did (or didn’t) work out for me, that opinion isn’t going to apply to everyone. Let’s say I couldn’t love a dildo because it’s short; I’m round and not all that flexible, so a short dildo is not going to work for me. But someone else without those issues might absolutely adore that dildo. Another example: the OhMiBod remote control Bluemotion vibrator is something that I’m reluctant to even ask for review, because I know that design won’t work for me and how I’m built.  Since that nub has no prayer of reaching my clitoris, my opinion of how the vibe might work for others could be skewed. 

You get the idea, I’m sure. So basically I want to create a list of other reviewers who review subjectively and who can plonk themselves into little descriptive boxes. I have two ideas for how this will look. The first is a line for each person, and then icons, like the icons SheVibe uses for at-a-glance info on sex toys (if you’re looking at the OMB vibe I linked up there, it’s the icons that let you know if something is anal-safe, rechargeable, waterproof, etc).  Another idea is a table, with names going down the left and attributes going across the top and dots in the boxes. If you have better ideas, please explain them. This is all I could come up with this afternoon. 

Who will qualify for this list? 

  • You should be comfortable with writing negative/critical reviews. If you didn’t like the item, if it didn’t work for you and is bad enough it won’t work for most? Say it. Be critical and note flaws. Make sure people understand what they are spending their money on!
  • You should be committed to reviewing only non-toxic, quality toys. What’s good? TPR, Elastomer, TPE are okay but porous. Same goes for Tenga stuff and Fleshlight. Good is silicone, hard plastic, glass, certain brands of wood, quality metals, coated ceramics, stone.
  • Ideally, your reviews should contain a good amount of subjective discussion and personal experience with the toy, and be well-written.
  • I also want this list to be as broad as possible. I need a good mix of all genders and sexualities.  I need people who live all around the world.  Kinky, vanilla, and everything on the spectrum, please!

 

It will end up looking like this for each person:

Dangerous Lilly

  • Vibrations: 4
  • Size – Vaginal: Width: 4 Length: 5
  • Body: Fat, fuller labia, buried clit
  • Gender: Cis female
  • Disabilites: Reduced strength, mild arthritis, issues with flexibility & reach
  • Orgasm ability without toys: 5
  • Partner reviews: prostate stimulators and masturbators, cismale POV
  • Favorite toys: We-Vibe Tango, Njoy Pure Wand, Je Joue Uma
  • Orgasm preference: Clitoral
  • Keywords: More power; safe sex toys; very picky!

What I’m looking for from others would roughly fit the outline below.  Attempt to be succinct and if something doesn’t apply (you don’t have a vagina, you don’t review anal toys) skip it. 

  • Vibrations: Rank the intensity you prefer/need on a scale from 1 to 5, 5 being the most intense.
  • Size – Vaginal: Width and Length, scales below
  • Size – Anal: Width and Length, scales below
  • Body: Again, be brief, use keywords. For me, being fat defines how I use toys. If you’re not? If your body size doesn’t factor in in any special way to how a toy might work out for you? Don’t list it. Include here also whatever details about genitals you’re comfortable sharing. I’m comfortable saying that I have very full outer labia and a small, buried clit. Info like this helps others who are built similarly find someone else built like them. Penises, similar info. (try to limit to 50-70 characters)
  • Gender: List it however you choose, whatever terminology fits for you.
  • Disabilities: Have any? List em if it matters to how toys work for you (try to limit to 50-70 characters)
  • Orgasm ability without toys: Judge as best as you can. Scale listed below. If you have a penis, would this apply less/not at all? If so, don’t need to list it.
  • Partner reviews: If you have a partner who reviews toys that you can’t use, list it. My husband, cis male, reviews penis and prostate toys for my blog. (try to limit to 50-70 characters)
  • Favorite toys: Pick three if you can, but limit it to three
  • Orgasm Preference: Do you have one? List it.
  • Keywords: key words or short phrases that really apply best to you. I’m aiming for 55 characters or less here.

Scales:

1 to 5, 1 being least intense/smallest/easiest

Orgasm scale – 1 would be it’s easy and consistent, 5 would be it happens never or very rarely & only with much patience. Scale yourself accordingly between those two.

Size  scale -

  1.  1.25″ and under
  2. 1.25 – 1.5
  3. 1.5 – 1.75
  4. 1.75 – 2.0
  5. 2.0 +

Size scale – length

  1. 3″ and under
  2. 3″-5″
  3. 5-6″
  4. 6-8″
  5. 8″ or more OR toys with a long handle

 

UPDATE: I’d like to be able to publish all of this on a page on my blog, but I’d also like to give people the ability to sort and filter. Embedding a spreadsheet from Google Docs doesn’t work within the confines of the post area space, and wouldn’t look right on mobile, so I’ll provide a link to a version of the spreadsheet that’ll be published on the web. Anytime changes are made or people are added, the published sheet will auto-update.

Aug 292014
 

Fun Factory Stronic DreiBeing disappointed by a high-priced much-hyped sex toy that’s seen many positive reviews is nothing new to me. I’m in the extreme minority when it comes to disliking the PalmPower; I’m not one of the legions who would kill for a Mona 2; and I’m not drooling over Vixskin. Yet I was still surprised when I was drastically disappointed in the Fun Factory Stronic Drei. You see, I was hearing words like “thrusting” and “intense” and reading about people basically in love with this line of vibrators–excuse me, pulsators. But when I really finally paid attention to the “thrusting”, I noticed something: The actual “distance” of the movement is no more than 1/2″ at best, and that’s being generous. Add in friction, resistance, etc….and it’s probably only moving 1/8″ of an inch each direction from “start”, if that makes sense.

When I think of thrusting, it’s more ….. well, just more. More depth, more action, more movement. I’d read a reviewer stating that the Stronic mimicked sex, and also Fun Factory states this. Um, no.  It doesn’t. I don’t think most people have that much fine-tuned control over their bodies to only thrust in quarter-inch movements of the penis/dildo.  If I had sex that was this shallow of thrusting, I’d fall asleep. In fact, I damn near did when I used the Stronic Drei. I’m serious. I was trying to concentrate on what I was feeling from it, so that I could better describe it to you. I had no other stimulation going because I wanted to be sure that my g-spot was responding. And I drifted off a little. It lulled me right to dreamland. Maybe this will be my form of meditation! 

Fun Factory Stronic Drei ProfileThe Stronic Drei faces certain movement challenges that the Stronic Eins and Stronic Zwei don’t – the super-textured design creates a lot of drag, in addition to the silicone type. It’s not the silky-smooth LIM type silicone that you’ll see covering most silicone vibrators (like Lelo or Je Joue). You’ll absolutely need lube. It’s also not small in the width department – for a short stint, the tip is ~ 1.25″ but then quickly ramps up to 1.6 or 1.7″ wide.  So maybe, just maybe, I’d have better luck with the Eins or Zwei. But the Drei has that “g-spot hook” that I figured would work better for me. My g-spot is pretty close to my vaginal entrance, and it really prefers upward pressure. Thrusting and stroking will get the job done, but only at a certain angle and level of pressure. I’m not able to get pressure when using the Stronic Drei because well, that would kill the movement.  And since my g-spot is so shallow, 2/3 of the Stronic Drei was not inserted. You’d have to have the whole shaft inserted to have a prayer of that “sword hilt” design reaching your clitoris, as Fun Factory suggests is possible. If you can use this as a dual-stimulation sex toy, then your vulva must be magical.  And according to a study (I assume) Fun Factory claims that 87% of women prefer the pulsator. To what? A dildo? A vibrator? I already knew I’d be in the minority but jeez.  I tried to love it; I attempted many of these positions that Fun Factory suggests for best use of the Stronic, but no dice.

The Stronics move by way of a heavy-duty magnet (health warning: don’t use one if you have a Pacemaker) that jiggles forcefully inside the unit. The slower speeds produce more movement, actually.  And since there’s no vibrating motor, the Stronic is extremely quiet. I just couldn’t find any happy-medium that made my g-spot respond to this thing. I’ve gotta be really honest….if I had spent $200 of my hard-earned money on this, I’d be damn pissed at myself for falling for it.  I’m never going to use this. I really can’t find major flaws with the product itself, the design, or the details….it just doesn’t work for me. It locks for travel; it’s waterproof (submersible!); it’s totally different from anything else on the market; it’s made of safe materials, and is rechargeable; it has a warranty. See? All good stuff. And yet….

This is where I’m torn. Should I recommend it? Clearly, many other people love this. There are reviews all over the blogosphere of people who love their Stronic. I feel a bit validated in hating the Drei because Epiphora dislikes the Stronic Zwei and Drei (but really loves her Eins). I sorta feel like I should try the Eins but….I don’t have sex toy retailers/manufacturers throwing toy review offers at me. I have to be picky about what I ask to review. I’m not about to sacrifice the chance to review two other, maybe three other, sex toys just to try out the Eins. You know I like to be able to compare things, but this time I don’t think it’s going to happen. It took me this long to just get my hands on ONE of the Stronics, I can’t imagine the miracle that would need to occur for me to ever try another.  If you’ve identified with my opinions on other toys; if you think we’re built similarly and respond similarly to stimulation; if the recommendations of mine that you’ve heeded have paid off for you? Then don’t get this. Save your cash and thrust your own dildo.

 

Thanks to Fun Factory for giving me the chance to try out a Stronic Drei. You can purchase a Stronic Drei, or any of the Stronic line, directly from them; you can also purchase them from my favorite retailer, SheVibe.

 

If you’ve managed to stumble onto this review without knowing much about the Stronic Drei, or any of the Stronics, you can check out this info pdf from Fun Factory that has all the specs. There’s also a ton of information about each of the Stronics, and their unique attributes, on SheVibe. Just view each item individually to get the full details. I felt that it was more important to tell you about my opinion and experience with this sextoy, than regurgitate the specs and “how it works” info that many people have already posted. 

Aug 272014
 

Silagel or Sil-a-gel, no matter how you spell it, should be pronounced as “avoid”. It’s a confusing matter in the sex toy industry, because we apparently cling really hard to our myths. At some point, some retailer assumed that the “sil” in sil-a-gel stood for “silicone”. Not surprisingly, most toys containing sil-a-gel do look “gel-like”. This grand misconception might even be where the “silicone blend” bullshit came from; or vice versa. But I don’t feel like playing the “which sex toy myth was spread around first” game today. I get asked about Sil-a-Gel often enough that I’m writing here about it. 

Sil-a-gel is strictly a Doc Johnson creation, so far as I can tell.  From their site: http://www.docjohnson.com/ask-the-doc

Q: What is Sil-A-Gel?

A: Sil-A-Gel is an anti-bacterial compound that we add to all of our Made-in-USA products. It is not a coating or a separate material. It is added into our material in the raw mixing phase so that the anti-bacterial agents are actually engrained into the product and will not wash away with use. Sil-A-Gel helps stop the spread of unwanted and potentially bad bacteria forming on your favorite products. Although you should always wash your products with mild soap and water, Sil-A-Gel is our way of going the extra mile to make sure that your products are as safe and clean as they can be.

Testing

Dildology had the James Deen realistic dildo sent to the same labs that BadVibes.org used to deformulate the dildo. It gets run through the same machines you hear about on crime scene type shows. Their results actually found that the dildo contained 61% phthalates – meaning 61% of the whole item’s make-up was phthalates ….. the thing they claim it’s free of. The rest was simply PVC. There was nothing else in there that the machine could detect. Now, this is only one lab test. I am reluctant to fully condemn Doc Johnson for lying until we see another lab test run, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon. These tests need to be funded, they cost something like $400 a pop, I think. 

Sil-a-gel is an Additive, NOT a Material

Despite what you may have heard or seen at other retailers who haven’t kept up with the toxic toy times, sil-a-gel is not a material. This bears repeating. However, any material that sil-a-gel is added to is still very porous and potentially toxic. Oh, I know, all these SilaGel added dildos claim to be phthalates-free. But you know they can lie as there are no regulations for sex toys, right? Right. And Doc Johnson only claims that it will act as an anti-bacterial agent. What about fungi like mold and mildew? All of these can live in the pores of these low-quality sex toys. Until I see unbiased lab tests that prove that Sil-a-gel is present AND WORKS, I won’t believe in it. You know what anti-microbial additive does work? Silver. Tenga is starting to use it. 

But are Sil-a-Gel Treated Items Non-Toxic?

While Doc Johnson will continue to say that they don’t use pthalates in their facility, phthalates aren’t the only toxic chemical we need to worry about. And many people still have a bad reaction to these “phthalates-free” sil-a-gel sex toys; the same reactions that are reported from known-toxic sex toys – rashes and skin burns, mainly. And that’s just what we can see/feel. Most people report that these sex toys stink, which means VOCs are present. 

A reminder, folks: True silicone is considered to be effectively non-porous, able to be sanitized, and is chemically inert – meaning it won’t break down. The materials that need to be softened with chemicals and/or mineral oil – jelly, rubber, PVC, vinyl, TPR/TPE, elastomer, cyberskin, etc etc – are all chemically unstable and will begin to break down over time. And the old line of “put a condom on it” shouldn’t be supported, either. There have been user reports of skin irritation continuing AFTER they put the condom on the dildo. And, by logical deduction, if a sex toy is softened with mineral oil and there’s any amount of oil seeping from the pores, it could break down your average latex condom, providing you with a barrier that’s as effective as Swiss cheese. 

TL;DR – Treat it like every other toxic sex toy. Throw it out and buy safe materials from reputable manufacturers and retailers. 

 

 The opinions expressed in this post are my own, gleaned from information I’ve gathered through my own research and speaking with other sex toy users. Until more tests are run, information on what, or how effective, sil-a-gel is or is not is merely supposition and not fact. However, when sex toy materials that are proven as completely safe exist, why risk it? 

 

Aug 202014
 

Secret Vibe Remote Control Vibrator by Marc Dorcel has a great remote! Remote face lights up and shows you which setting you're on, and a visual representation of what that setting feels like. “Are there any decent remote control vibrators?” is probably one of the top five questions I get asked. Since I first wrote about this in 2011, a bunch of new contenders have come on to the market. Most I discount immediately, because the first requirement of a decent remote control vibrator can be figured out just from seeing photos online and reading the description – many of the remote controlled vibrators offer only a tiny remote with a button or two and nothing to give you feedback. The Secret Vibe Remote Control Vibrator nails the first requirement. It’s why I considered reviewing it. But to have success, and not frustration, when using a remote control vibrator in public all three of these requirements must be met: 

1. The remote needs to tell the person controlling the vibrator what the person wearing the vibrator is feeling, while being discreet enough that the user feels comfortable handling it in public.

2. The vibrator needs to be powerful enough to be felt, quiet enough for public play use, and designed well enough to be worn comfortably.

3. The wireless connection needs to work through a layer of clothing, through flesh, and from across a room. Bonus points for working through a wall.

The third requirement is decent, not bad, for the Secret Vibe. Holding the vibe in my hand, the connection went across two rooms and through a wall. Inserted, or in panties (both while wearing pants) however it only worked from at most 20 feet away. Which is….tolerable. It’s better than some I’ve dealt with.

So all that’s left is the third requirement, the vibrator. And this is where Marc Dorcel’s Secret Vibe Remote Control Vibrator fails so, so hard. Surface-buzzy vibrations that are on par with the weakest I’ve ever felt. Judging by the sheer size of the vibrator, I’m going to assume it’s meant for insertion. I don’t personally get that; I don’t ever get off from just internal vibrations, nor do they even really do anything to arouse me. If you thought my clitoris was made of steel, apparently my vagina is even worse. As I clicked through the 10 settings (7 patterns, 3 apparent levels of intensity) I couldn’t discern a difference between the settings and the “vibration” was not pleasurable or arousing to me1. Used externally, I could feel differences in the vibration intensity but the vibrations are such crap that I actually preferred a few of the pattern settings because it was the only way I could feel anything pleasurable.  Ok so maybe it’s a great size I guess for internal stimulation, but what if that’s not what you want? What if the feeling of one tiny caged bee whispering at your g-spot doesn’t do it for you?

Under the best of circumstances (no pressure, very aroused, watching my preferred type of “porn”, etc) I’ve been able to orgasm from the lowest setting on the We-Vibe Tango, so it’s really less about sheer power than it is about the type of vibrations. The extremely buzzy vibrations of the Secret Vibe feel almost ticklish/itchy when used externally unless I’m sitting and therefore there’s decent pressure being applied. But there is no way in hell that I’d be able to orgasm from this vibrator. Maybe someone who is much, much more sensitive than I am would be able to. Maybe that’s not the point for many people. If you’re really into tease & denial, then hey this could be perfect. Because it’s fairly unlikely to bring someone to orgasm, especially when inserted.

On the “strongest” setting, it’s a bit noisy if you’re using it externally and you don’t have fuller outer labia like I do to muffle the sound. Not ideal in this case for super-quiet settings without ambient noise.  The vibe itself uses two AAA batteries. I tried to use a better quality battery than they included and it really didn’t improve matters. Oddly, there is space for 3 AAA batteries, so I don’t understand why they’re not utilizing that, unless the motor is just so wimpy, more power behind it wouldn’t matter. The remote uses a little 12V job which isn’t hard to find. The batteries also lasted while, and the remote shows battery level of the remote itself. I wish it showed the battery level of the vibrator.

Secret Vibe Remote Control Vibrator by Marc Dorcel has room for 3 AAA batteries, but only uses two The Secret Vibe Remote Control Vibrator by Marc Dorcel is larger than I expected. To show a size comparison, first there is the Doc Johnson Black Magic Bullet vibe, the We-Vibe Salsa, the Secret Vibe and then the Lelo Luna Beads Classic The Secret Vibe Remote Control Vibrator by Marc Dorcel is larger than I expected. To show a size comparison, first there is the Doc Johnson Black Magic Bullet vibe, the We-Vibe Salsa, the Secret Vibe and then the Lelo Luna Beads Classic

All in all, if only the vibrator weren’t so weak, I could fully recommend this. But it’s just so damn paltry.  Maybe if this thing cost less than $30, I’d feel a little more okay recommending it for external use if you can tolerate it. But a retail price of $70? Nope. Sadly I’ve also got to assume that the Genius Secret Vibe, the anal-safe version, is going to be identical save for the anal-safe sleeve. I can’t recommend either vibrator. There are some other flaws, too. The bullet, when screwed together with batteries inserted, is very finicky. I’ve had a lot of trouble getting it started. It can’t be screwed too loose or too tight, there’s some bizarre Goldilocks setting that will take much fiddling around to locate. I wanted to like this, I had hoped I would like this. So, what now? The answer is simple: Gear up and head out. The quest to find a great remote control vibrator is still on. I’m not giving up.

How do YOU use remote control vibrators? Externally or internally? Do you want to be teased, with no hope of orgasm? Have you ever found a remote control vibrator that passes all three requirements?

 

Thanks to SheVibe for providing me with the Secret Vibe Remote Control Vibrator in exchange for my very honest review!

 

 

  1. I even went out and purchased a brand new set of the most powerful-looking AAA batteries on the market, hoping that, as an on-site reviewer noted, the included batteries were crap. No dice.