Lilly

Dec 122014
 

We-Vibe Pleasure MateI’ve been in love with the We-Vibe Tango for years now. Well, my first love was technically the Salsa  -that bullet-pointed tip just seemed to work a little better and the color choices were fabulous. I quickly learned that the Salsa/Tango were the same size as the Rocks Off Ro80mm bullet and the Tantus bullet. Swapping out those for the Tango usually led to great success (the Tantus Panty Play was the one time I had disastrous results). 

So you can imagine my glee when I saw that We-Vibe was finally giving Tango it’s very own accessories, the We-Vibe Pleasure Mate collection. I felt a bit like a kid coveting the latest Cabbage Patch Doll accessories (my favorite was the CPD-sized high chair for sitting her alongside me at dinner). I had to collect em all. 

Dusk

When I finally had the We-Vibe Pleasure Mate Dusk in my hands, I was a bit underwhelmed honestly. I was surprised at how small it is – at the widest portion of the bulb it’s 1 inch. I know so many people who already use the Tango in their existing toys, but the Dusk is absolutely for un-butt-initiated. It’s beginner-sized and won’t provide a “full” feeling at all. If it were uberpowerful, it may matter less. But the due to the diminuitive size of the plug, they couldn’t fit the Tango inside the plug, instead it fits through a sleeve outside the plug which helps give it a anal-safe anchor. What results is a whole lot of vibration outside the butt (and even well into the labia where applicable) and a lightly moderate amount of sensation inside. It’s not the weakest vibrating plug I’ve felt, but it’s not really what I’d call Powered By Tango.

If small size and moderate vibration is your jam, you’ll love the Glow. Some people would find this set-up perfect. Most people I know, though, won’t. Really, not enough vibration transfers up into the plug part.

Glow

Lelo gigi 2 vs We-Vibe Pleasure Mate GlowMany moons ago, Lelo introduced the Ella dildo. And the Gigi vibrator. That angled, flat thumb of a head became iconic and is replicated far and wide for being superior as a g-spot massager in the eyes of most. I certainly think the design is awesome; my first g-spot toy had a tip like a pointy beak. Yikes. So the We-Vibe Pleasure Mate Glow is pretty awesome and pulls double duty as a dildo and a vibrator. We-Vibe has constructed the Glow to still be sturdy even without the Tango inserted. There’s a channel in the Tango-hole (and a hole down inside) so that it’s fairly easy to insert and remove the bullet, but it’s snug enough that it stays put during use. People who have arthritis in their fingers, trouble gripping something firmly and/or lack of hand strength in general will find it difficult to remove the Tango on their own. People with reach issues who need a longer dildo, or a dildo with a handle, will find it a bit difficult to use the Glow since it is a bit short.

The vibrations transmitted are fairly good.  This doesn’t suddenly become a super-powered g-spot vibrator – it’s not possible. There’s a lot of solid silicone for the vibrations to travel through. If you need a super-powered g-spot vibe, then I’ll recommend the L’amourose Rosa or my very favorite, Rosa Rouge. I do think the vibrations transmit better than many Tantus dildos, though and it’s even a bit more powerful than the Lelo Gigi 2 by a hair.  Glow also isn’t very big; the head is about 1″ wide and if inserted more than 3 inches, the shaft widens to 1.25″. 

Woooboy is the Glow PINK. I mean it. It’s bright. It’s even a little garish. If you are offended by pink, you’re out of luck because Glow only comes in pink. If you want to be matchy-matchy, you’ll want the pink Tango. Only the newer pink Tango, please, the older version (a dusty rose) clashes horribly. I can’t abide by clashing colors. 

Who Should Buy This

If you’re a sex toy expert and connoisseur of vibes, a lover of power and a queen of size….you might want to pass. You won’t be excited. However if you’re ready to move past your very first, low-priced sex toys and settle on something quality? Get the whole kit, if you or your partner want to explore anal play. The whole kit even includes a pretty, pearly white Tango – a color you can’t get on its own. A color that doesn’t clash with either the Dusk or Glow. When you buy the Dusk or Glow on their own, a Tango isn’t included. So if you’re new to the Tango too it’s going to cost $139.99 to get both the Glow and a Tango, where the whole set is priced at $149.99. 

Like I said for those ready to move into the world of better sex toys, get the kit. You’re getting the best clitoral vibrator on the market for those who need power1, a very nice g-spot dildo or vibe and a beginners butt plug. All in true body-safe materials from a company with excellent customer support who honors their 1-year warranty.

 

A big thanks to SheVibe for hooking me up with the Pleasure Mate Glow and Dusk for my honest review. 

  1. I do want to note: if your clitoris is sensitive, if you can come fairly easily from fingers and tongues? The Tango might be a bit too much for you
Dec 102014
 

It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of Pipedream. They’re one of the “Big 5″ companies, having been around for many years. They like to think they’re a Mafia Boss the way they treat smaller companies in the industry. They take their ability to make mass amounts of sex toys every day and create so much crap. They’re no stranger to misogynistic ad copy on their sex toys but their latest little stunt is above and beyond.

I’m sure any of you reading this are aware of the big celeb phone hacking dubbed “The Fappening”, where dozens of stars had their cell phones hacked and the photos shared for the world to see. Some of these were naked selfies. It was a violation of their privacy, it was a violation of consent. Jennifer Lawrence rightly called it a sex crime.

“Just because I’m a public figure, just because I’m an actress, does not mean that I asked for this,” she told Vanity Fair. “It does not mean that it comes with the territory. It’s my body, and it should be my choice, and the fact that it is not my choice is absolutely disgusting. I can’t believe that we even live in that kind of world.” (Vanity Fair)

“It is not a scandal. It is a sex crime. It is a sexual violation. It’s disgusting. The law needs to be changed, and we need to change. That’s why these Web sites are responsible. Just the fact that somebody can be sexually exploited and violated, and the first thought that crosses somebody’s mind is to make a profit from it. It’s so beyond me. I just can’t imagine being that detached from humanity. I can’t imagine being that thoughtless and careless and so empty inside.” (Vanity Fair)

Knowing all of this do you think there’s any chance Jennifer Lawrence would have consented to have her likeness made into a SEX DOLL? I don’t fucking think so. In true gross fashion, Pipedream had to take it up a notch. It’s not just a Jennifer Lawrence doll. It’s a JLaw “Hacked” doll…..complete with a JLaw-lookalike model dressed as Katniss Everdeen plus posing in selfies made to look just like the ones leaked. Since they’re using a model and not the actual leaked photos, Pipedream isn’t doing anything illegal. But it’s disgusting. It makes light of anyone whose consent has been violated with naked photos leaked to the public. What’s next, Pipedream? Are you going to start making dolls from photos found on Revenge Porn sites?  Here’s the wonderful ad copy and then a quote from their press release:

We’re not sure what came faster, news of J-Laws leaked selfies or the thousands of guys waiting for this day to finally come! She did the world a favor when her sexy selfies spread across the internet, and now Hollywood’s honey is getting naked for the money! If hacked cell phone pics weren’t enough to make J-Law our favorite new selfie slut, her brand new blowup doll is proof that this blockbuster babe is ready for primetime penetration! Just add air and this American hustler transforms into America’s hooker right before your eyes! There’s no silver lining to her 3 love holes, but if you add a little lube they feel great wrapping around every inch of your pleasure rod! Her cloud got hacked so you can get jacked!

“Nobody creates products with mainstream crossover appeal like Pipedream,” Pipedream CEO Nick Orlandino said. “The publicity we receive when one of these celebrity dolls hits the market is priceless. Our customers will definitely experience rising sales as J-Law blows up — literally!“  (Xbiz)

Of course, the JLaw Hacked doll isn’t their first trip down the rabbit hole called Bad Taste. Their “Fuck Me Silly” toys are extremely offensive.  They, of course, justify their ad copy choice when called on it. Just when I think they’re maybe, possibly okay-ish to support for their silicone toys (because people do need access to affordable sex toys and if it’s a crap brand’s silicone butt plug vs buying a porous one, well I’ll choose the lesser of two evils), I find that they include AnalEaze  with all of their silicone butt toys. Their Fetish Fantasy line of low-priced silicone vibrators and cocks are not made of medical-grade silicone like they advertise (medical grade requires clean-room facilities which I cannot fathom them having) but that’s fine – we don’t need medical grade. It would be nice, though, for them to disclose that it’s not pure silicone through-and-through. The core is foam.  I’ve not dissected their Fetish Fantasy line and I can’t yet tell what the chances are of something happening to the silicone exterior enough that moisture could get to the foam core.

What I find the most ironic of all is this email I received earlier this year from their social media manager:

We keep a close eye on all the review blogs and it’s no secret that you’re not a fan of us. We know how influential you are to the blogging community and to customers. Since we so highly value your opinion, we wanted to reach out to you and offer you a trip to Pipedream. We’re hoping to talk to and show you what our company is all about, as well as learn from you and hear your personal feedback. If your opinion doesn’t change after meeting us – no hard feelings! We’d just like the opportunity to open up a dialogue with reviewers, show you what we do and who we are, and have a sit down conversation to more clearly hear your concerns. And, of course, your trip is completely on us. 

 I never responded because really….what could they say that would change my mind? ETA: Actually, since a few people who know nothing about me personally are ripping on me for not taking PD up on the offer, I now feel the need to expand on this. I never responded to the email because there was nothing they could say that would change my mind AND VICE VERSA. But I didn’t GO because, paid trip or not, the ability to take time off and fly there was not in the cards for me. I had multiple, valid personal reasons for being unable to make such a trip. I’m not young, single and without obligations enough to just pick up and go to California.  

Here’s my personal feedback, Pipedream: CLEAN UP YOUR FUCKING ACT. Stop being the douchey bros of the sex toy world. You don’t need to disrespect women to sell sex toys.  Why is “She Never Says No” such a common theme in your ad copy?

Many people have given me shit for being so vocal about not supporting this company. I’m supposed to just give a free pass to any company producing affordable silicone sex toys. And what about their affordable glass toy line? Their ceramic toy line? I’m sure there are other companies making cheap glass toys. If you want to support a company with rape culture ideals that’s your choice. It’s my choice to recommend brands other than Pipedream, and to educate my readers on why. 

 Posted by at 10:06 am
Dec 082014
 

Wevibe4PlusAppDamn, these vibrations bore me.

I’m supposed to be in awe of the smartphone/Bluetooth controlled aspect of the We-Vibe 4 Plus right now, literally right now as I type this, but I can’t be. In part because the Bluetooth aspect works only when I’m naked or in undies and dudespreading all over the place. But largely because THESE VIBRATIONS BORE ME.

We-Vibe, in theory, has always been a great idea. And for many people, it is a great idea in practice. For many people, the We-Vibe works exactly as advertised. Until the We-Vibe 4, with it’s different profile and more snug fit, there were also many people who experienced too much shifting of the We-Vibe for it to really be hands-free. But for me the We-Vibes have always been an “in theory” toy because the vibrations were never enough. Even when they increased the motors and made them a bit more rumbly, it doesn’t matter. When they came out with the Salsa and Tango, I knew they had the ability for something seriously awesome, but those motors don’t get used in the We-Vibe couples vibe. So I’m sitting here trying in vain to be excited. I’m even using one of the pulsating patterns, in an effort to fool my clitoris into thinking there’s more going on than there really is.

My clitoris is not easily fooled. The night got worse. My clit turtled. My beloved Rosa was only barely able to save me. I kinda want to like the We-Vibe 4 Plus but yet I dread having to use it again and am sad that now I have two of them** which is two too many.

On the way to finding a pulsating pattern I liked, something else very wrong happened. You see, with the We-Vibe 4 Plus’s We Connect app, you can do some interesting things like independently control the motors in the arm. In theory. In practice, I can’t tell any difference between level 1 and level 10 when it comes to the g-spot arm. And the only time I really feel it the vibrations in the g-spot arm is during certain patterns that seem to turn off the clitoral arm for a half-second or more, leaving the g-spot arm doing…something. It doesn’t feel good. In fact, I don’t ever want to feel that again. It reminds me of getting a pap smear. An uncomfortable, weird, foreign feeling in my vag. DO. NOT. WANT.

Alright, enough about these vibrations. Touted as a great sex toy for long-distance couples, couples too horny to get through the work day or even those who just want to play around in public together, the We-Vibe 4 Plus works with certain smartphones via Bluetooth to be controlled by an app by either partner. Using it when your partner is on a trip or lives long distance is a lot like literally penciling in sex to your calendar. If you’re on board with that, carry on. If you wanted the element of surprise, the ability to wear the We-Vibe for hours not knowing when your partner will flip the proverbial switch? Eh, you’d be let down a little. To be  fair I don’t think it’s possible to let permissions idle for hours on end; currently your partner has to send over a request to control and then has 30 minutes for you to get into position and lay down the first tracks. But the problem I have with the We-Vibe 4 Plus isn’t about the permissions. It’s about my weight and my vulva. Wevibe4Plus

At my current weight I have full, fleshy outer labia. They almost completely cover the We-Vibe when it’s inserted. And unless I have my legs spread a bit and am only wearing thin pants or no pants, the Bluetooth connection between the vibe and my phone gets cut. I went through a dozen and a half attempts between the two units; a dance where I press and hold the power button on the unit until it gives off two short pulses and then I grab my phone and try to control it and it just mocks me, telling me the connection is lost and to please make sure it’s charged. IT IS CHARGED.  A few people told me that the same thing happens during sex when the We-Vibe is between two bodies.  I had this problem with two WV4+’s. My original, in Slate Gray, wouldn’t ever work when inserted. My second one, garish Pink, works under the best of circumstances. The included remote only works from a distance of 1 foot or less and needs unimpeded access to the vibe, so having the Connect app for control is a big help, when it works.  According to all of the info from We-Vibe on the SheVibe page, there are 10 intensity levels on the regular remote, too, but again I can’t really feel 10.  And often I’m not even sure that the press of the button on the remote worked, so having the visual confirmation on the We Connect app is quite helpful. I’m really not a fan of patterns, so the bonus patterns available on the We Connect app don’t do anything for me (in fact the two that made me want to rip the thing from my vagina are Connect app patterns – Peak and Chachacha). Creative types can use the Connect app to make their own pattern.

If you ever owned an older version of the We-Vibe and felt that it was too loose, take heart. 4 and 4 plus fit much more snugly. In fact, I swear the 4 Plus is a little more snug than the 4. I had trouble getting it inserted and into the correct position and at first it almost felt pinchy it was so snug. This may not be a problem for those who are not overweight. The 4 plus is exactly like the 4 regular with the exception of the 10 mysterious levels of intensity and the app.

Here’s the real question: Should you spend the extra $20 to get the 4 Plus version? If your labia is nothing like mine, then yes – if you have minimal labia. If you can orgasm fairly easily from fingers and tongues, then the vibrations of the We-Vibe may be enough for you. If you can see yourself often being in an area where both you and your partner have either WIFI or a decent data connection for using the App, then yes. If you’re okay with the fact that it requires some personal scheduling and lack of spontaneity to use, then yes. 

 

A big thanks to SheVibe for sending me the We-Vibe 4 Plus to try out, and to We-Vibe for being so great in making sure I didn’t have a defective unit**.

**Just in ensure that I didn’t receive a defective unit, We-Vibe sent me a new one. They had also updated their app while I was in testing phase. Neither of these helped. 

 Posted by at 12:12 pm
Nov 272014
 

In case you’re new here, let’s review the rules. Everybody’s year-end lists differ;  I try to keep it to sex toys that have been introduced to the public this calendar year as much as possible. For the “Best” toys I only rank the ones I’ve used and loved.  For the “Worst” list I’ve gone outside my normal rules – I just didn’t review very many “new this year” sex toys that I really and truly loathed. Curious to see how I’ve ranked things in years past? I’ve got lists from 2013, 2012, and 2011.  This year’s list is quite different. For one, there’s no dildo! I wasn’t wowed by any dildos I tried this year that were new to the market. This is also the first year that toys for the penis/prostate made the list – not once, but twice!  Onward, to the Best Sex Toys of 2014! (and the worst)

Interested in picking up one or two of these for the holidays? Check out the Black Friday / Cyber Monday sales!

Best Sex Toys of 2014

rosarougeBest Vibrator

L’amourose Rosa Rouge – So amazing. It’s technically a g-spot / prostate vibe, but I ended up liking it best as a clitoral vibe. The vibrations are phenomenal –super powerful and deeply rumbling– and the warming feature actually does enhance the vibrations. This vibrator from newcomer French company L’amourose had me so crazy in love that I emailed SheVibe within minutes of my first orgasm to say “Please stock this!!” Runner up would be the plain Rosa – same great design and vibrations, minus the warming heated shaft.

Tenga Iroha MinamoBest Vibrator ~ Honorable Mention

Tenga Iroha Minamo – This is nearly the polar opposite of the L’amourose Rosa Rouge! Not for anyone who needs powerful vibrations or filling girth, this is great for those who need the opposite – a softer touch. The plush body and decently moderate vibrations combine with a slender shaft to finally offer those who think Less is More a great vibrator.  It works really well as either an internal or external vibrator and has a lot more obvious squish to it than it’s sister vibe, the Mikazuki.  It’s not a vibrator that I love for myself, but because it fills a gaping hole in the sex toy world – slender, decent and soft.

PulseVibratorforMenBest Cock Toy

Hot Octopuss Pulse – The vibrator for the penis, stupidly called the “guybrator”. It can be used as a vibrating stroker, but in our house it’s best when held at the frenulum while he lays back to enjoy the sensations. It surprised both of us, and really went above and beyond expectations.  Unique in design, it boasts super powerful vibrations and is really easy to use. Also hailed as a couples toy, we felt it didn’t perform in that arena but as a solo toy for him, it was so awesome. Keep an eye out though, Pulse 2 will hit the stores by February.

Jopen Lust L12 Prostate VibratorBest Prostate Massager

Jopen Lust L12 – This little guy has everything but the girth – powerful, rumbling vibrations with pulsating patterns and both ends vibrate to hit the prostate from inside and out. Jopen tried to play it off as a vibrator for either g-spot or prostate, but the design and size really fail as a g-spot & clitoris dual stim vibe. Available in hot pink or grey, it’s rechargeable and only $69 at Shevibe.

PleasurePurseBest Accessory

Pleasure Purse – I love this bag; it’s so versatile. It’s a weekender bag, it’s an inconspicuous storage option for the closet, it’s lockable and it’s very well made. Pockets galore with a black leather exterior ensure a place for everything. The stitching is well done and will hold up, plus the zippers are good quality and won’t jam. I filled it up with a lot of stuff for a weekend away, and then crammed it full of sex toys just to test the capacity.

TouchCompareMost Improved

We-Vibe Touch – I wasn’t in love with the first gen We-Vibe Touch but their upgrade brought in silky, matte-finish silicone and much less vibration dampening from the silicone. The Touch no longer picks up all the dust in a 3 foot radius, and feels much stronger than the old version. Sure, I still love the Tango more, but now I can finally recommend the Touch. Good job, We-Vibe!

ovoBest Choice for Beginners

OVO - I’m not even picking a single toy here. I’ve only reviewed the K2, but I had the chance to check out a good portion of the line in person. Shevibe carries a lot of the models and everything is under $50; many are under $30! The vibrations are more rumbly than buzzy and they’re moderate (this applies to most of the items – I’ve seen only negative reviews for the cock rings, so avoid those, and the vibrations on their mini external bullets, W1 and W2 are best left on the shelf). Great for newbies and those who don’t need extreme power. Their 15 year warranty is pretty much unprecedented in the sex toy biz. Made from silicone and ABS plastic, you’ve got a lot to choose from in this line. My only gripe is that the company doesn’t know how to measure a sex toy; they’ve measured from the widest portion –often the handle– and not just the widest usable portion. This led to some really skewed measurements. I’m trying to get better measurements, but if you have your eye on a certain model or have a size requirement, ask me and hopefully I can help narrow it down!

 

Worst Sex Toys of 2014

Lelo  anything – Lelo really fucked up this year. Their Smart Bead seems to be mostly gimmick and that fucking “cock ring for BANKERS”? Uh uh. Nope. That video is so offensive and the marketing campaign as a whole pretty much shits on their overall image. So glad I quit last year.

Fun Factory Amorino – Take a mediocre rabbit-style vibe and add a silicone “rubber band”. It’s as dumb as you’re imagining. And painful, to boot. I had an experience that ripped a few hairs out.

Jimmyjane Form 4 – The review that caused Jimmyjane to think I’m being paid off to hate them so much. I hated the Form 4 so much, and for so many reasons.

PalmPower Wand Massager – A lot of people love this thing so I wondered what was wrong with me when I disliked it so much. It could have been something decent, but all the flaws were too glaring to ignore.

Marc Dorcel Secret Vibe – The only good thing about this vibe is the remote. But otherwise it’s $70 for something so buzzy, so weak that I forgot I had it inside of me.

 

 

 Posted by at 11:30 am
Nov 272014
 

First, I hope that everyone who is celebrating Thanksgiving is having a wonderful holiday with the friends and/or family. I am thankful for all of you and for this part of my life, and those I’ve met because of it. I’m sad that due to having a very conservative family I cannot share this part of my life with them; it is fulfilling and fun and I have met some of the best people in the world because of it. I live a double life in some ways but I’d rather have that than none of this.

black-friday

ARE YOU READY?? Not sure what to buy? Check out my Best Sex Toys page and this year’s picks for Best Sex Toys of 2014 (posting later!). These sales will go into effect as soon as the clock strikes FRIDAY. Sleep? Who needs it. Unless of course you’re in a mild coma from that turkey and alcohol and 3 pounds of filling/stuffing/dressing you consumed.

SheVibe!

First up, the most simple one: SheVibe.com. Starting at 12:00 am on Black Friday, through Cyber Monday, SheVibe is having a progressive sale – the more you spend, the more you save. 10% off of $75 / 15% off of $100 / 20% off of $125. Codes are TURKEY10 / TURKEY15 / TURKEY20, and these sales are only good for shipping to customers in the US, AUS, CA, and UK. And when you spend $75, your shipping is free in the US! Make sure you browse their current hot deals page to grab something for a super good price.

Tantus!

Tantus has a lot of deals, and will have a flash sale on a different item each day; that info will be updated as I get it.  The best part? None of these sales at Tantus require a coupon code; your discount for the bundles and individual items is automatically deducted when the items are in your cart, so you can use my code, LILLY, to save an extra 15%. And when you spend $100, you get free shipping in the US; spend $200 and get free shipping anywhere else! All of these deals are good from 12:00am PST Friday through Monday. 

There are 4 different bundle deals: 

Black Friday Tantus sale bundle - Any O2 dildo plus the Vibrating Velvet Harness = 30% off
Black Friday sale at Tantus - Buy a paddle plus a gag, get 40% off both
Black Friday sale at Tantus = Buy  any prostate toy plus a cock ring plus a bottle of Ride Bodyworx lube, get 40% off all
Black Friday sale at Tantus - Buy the suction cup attachment plus any vibrator and a bottle of Blossom Organics lube, get 30% off everything

These individual items are also on sale: 

use code LILLY at tantus checkout to save an additional 15%

 

Lovehoney!

Lovehoney does stock a lot of porous toys. A lot. So please, pay attention when you shop. Unless it says “silicone” or stainless steel, aluminum, ABS plastic, or glass….reconsider it. I don’t believe in “body-safe rubber”.  There’s a few decent items on their sale page, but otherwise you can save 25% off your order of $80 or more at Lovehoney.com when you enter code BLACKFRI14 here. Check prices between Lovehoney and Shevibe – I’ve often found that Shevibe is cheaper so even though their discount percentage is less, your total might be less overall vs Lovehoney.

 

There’s one more, and I’m very reluctant to even mention it. I don’t support EdenFantasys anymore for a large variety of reasons. I’d really rather you shop at Shevibe.com. EF isn’t an ethical company, for one. Two, their stock sucks. They decided to mostly to sell their own branded crap which is cheap and shitty. But for example, in the 70% off section, is a small bright silver Tantus Sport for $17. That’s pretty much one of the only items in the 70% off section I’d recommend. In the 50% off section there’s quite a lot glass, and more discontinued Tantus items. If you’re going to grab up any deals, do so with caution. Don’t buy Eden’s brand. And when you get your order if ANYthing seems funky or off….send it back. I am still very wary of the claims from a few years ago of used toys (since they do accept returns) because logically it makes no sense – why would a company who worked so hard, paid so much money to be seen on the internet as the #1 place to go risk it all by sending out previously owned and used toys? One report to the Health Department and they’d be shut down.  Anyways, I’m mentioning the sale because there are a few super good deals, but just be smart about your order.

 Posted by at 4:44 am
Nov 252014
 

rosarougeI read somewhere that the L’amourose Rosa Rouge was not only powerful, but seriously rumbly which meant I had to have it, immediately. Luckily for me the lovely French company obliged. Let me set the tone early: I loved the L’Amourose Rosa Rouge so much that within 10 minutes of my first orgasm (which was within 15 minutes of opening the box) from this vibe I was emailing my favorite retailer and telling them to stock this line, stat. And now, I need to spend the rest of my review convincing you that the price of $239 is worth every penny.  It’s very infrequent that I rave so highly about such a pricey sex toy; often I find that they’re not worth their price tag. This has been the exception to the rule. If you’re on the fence feel free to grill me and we’ll figure out together if this amazing thing will work for you.

Pros:

  • Seriously amazing vibrations
  • Easy to hold & great for those with reach issues
  • Anal safe
  • Warming aspect really does work!
  • Versatile
  • Charging base works like a champ, every time
  • Will suitably impress from package to toy, as a gift
  • Waterproof
  • Gimmick-free!
  • Charge lasts about 1.5 hours of use on high
  • 18 month warranty

Cons:

  • The price
  • Controls might be difficult for lefties
  • No “quick shut down” button
  • Won’t provide super firm pressure to the g-spot or prostate due to flex at the base of the shaft
Wherein I Fall in Love

When I got  my L’amourose products in the mail, I was really drawn to the packaging. For such a jaded reviewer, this is significant. The outside design and photo of the toy looked different than we’re used to. Like a perfume ad. L’amourose is what sex toys would look like if Chanel made sex toys. It’s all packaged very carefully inside, with attention to detail. The shape of the Rosa intrigued me before I even had it in my hands.  It can be a dual stimulator, but in a more subtle way than the Denia. I expected to be able to just ignore that aspect, and enjoy it for what intrigued me: a base to grasp onto, that is angled more towards me rather than a straight handle that would point away from me combined with the drastic curve of the shaft. I was able to achieve this because my g-spot is fairly shallow. If yours is located farther back then the base will press against your vulva. 

It’s been a long ass time since I’ve been so immediately impressed with a vibrator in the first minute. I quickly wiped it clean and tried it out. I first tried to use it as a dual stimulator and it was seriously good, enough that maybe I could have come that way. But I decided to just try using the shaft as an external vibe you know, just to see, curiosity killed the cat and all, and then it felt so nice that I didn’t want to stop and then whoops….I was coming. It really was just “okay wow, that feels awesome, just another few seconds and I’ll switch back….OH! HELL-O!”. I went into this meet-n-greet “cold” – no arousal, no build-up, no porn. I wasn’t angling for an orgasm, I just wanted to see how it felt. This was by far the easiest orgasm from a sex toy since the We-Vibe Tango. There was no reaching for it or wiggling it around to get the right fit or any other sort of acrobatics to coax out a nearly-there orgasm. I had also let the warming feature come up to temperature (it takes 3-5 minutes) so I had that aspect going as well. Did that provide the tipping point? More investigation was definitely necessary because this sex toy does have a big price tag, and part of that price is the warming feature. The regular Rosa is considerably less money, but still more costly than most Lelo vibes at $169. It comes in a gorgeous green, though!

Amazing Things that have happened since I got the Rosa Rouge:

  • Had an accidental orgasm
  • Have yet to find any real flaws that bother me
  • Have forgotten about the Tango 5 times
  • Gushed like a fan girl to the company rep
  • Set a record for how quickly I’ve begged SheVibe to stock something
Why Would I Want a Sex Toy That Heats Up?

We don’t see many vibrators with intentional heating (vs unintentional overheating that feels scary). The point of a warming sex toy, similar to all these warming/arousal lubes on the market (most of which don’t work), is that increased blood flood to the genitals = arousal. When you are naturally already aroused, there is a lot more blood pumping through your entire genital region. Things are alive, awake and biology is at work folks. The vagina expands and lengthens with arousal, and self-lubricates. You can use the L’Amourose Rosa Rouge as a warming vibrator or a warming dildo because you can turn on the warming function without the vibrations (or use this feature to simply bring the Rosa up to temperature before using the vibrations).  The warming aspect is even nice for the butt. Many moons ago one of my early sex toy purchases was a hard plastic vibe that was “infrared”. My partner ended up hijacking it and found that he really, really liked the warming feature for anal play. The shape of the Rosa Rouge is definitely butt play friendly, by the way.  The Rosa Rouge warms to a specific target temp that is warm enough to encourage increased bloodflow to the genitals but not so warm that it’s uncomfortable. I really got the most benefit from the warming feature when I used it as an external vibe. I think that, instead of gimmicky warming lubes, using the Rosa Rouge on the lowest setting + heat would make for an excellent warm-up toy for those who need the help getting their body to catch up to their mind.

Note: You can still have the same powerful vibrations with a bit smaller of a price tag by getting the Rosa sans “Rouge”. It’s listed at $169 at Shevibe.

So would I love the Rosa without the Rouge? I would, yes, but not quite as much – I really feel like the warming adds something great. Rosa is  very powerful with very rumbling vibrations. It wins the title of Strongest G-Spot Vibrator, besting my previously-crowned Vanity VR6 or Lelo Smart Wand + Attachment because the shape and fit is so much better and more versatile. The Vanity VR6 was never quite right for me because it’s a true dual-stimulator of the “rabbit” variety and the clitoral arm wasn’t perfect. But it has the vibrations I needed and for me, it’s all about that bass. Rosa delivers that bass with nothing getting in the way (in case you want to use something else for clitoral stimulation) and is designed so that all but those who require pinpoint stimulation will love this as an external vibe. The curve of the Rosa Rouge can provide g-spot stimulation, prostate stimulation, clitoral stimulation or all-over vulva stimulation. It’s pretty much going to win Hardest Working Vibrator this year.  I  love using the L’amourose Rosa Rouge as a g-spot vibrator with other means of  clitoral stimulation but I really love using the Rosa as a clitoral vibrator the best. L’amourose does make a clitoral vibrator, the Vera, but it’s not a style that will work with my labia and buried clit. And as for colors? The plain Rosa comes in black, hot pink and emerald green while the Rouge is only red.

rosarouge2 rosarouge3 rosarouge4

 

A video posted by Lilly (@dangerouslilly) on

Other Notables

The only aspect I’ve not covered that L’Amourose advertises is their “Flex and Shift Technology” which sounds fancy, but it really just means that there’s some flexibility to the shaft. That’s it.  There’s quite a bit, really, but I don’t actually see that as a plus. I’d ideally like to see less flex. Too much and the dual motors can go into dissonance. But it’s still not a big enough flaw for me personally to give a shit.  I was able to get enough pressure to my g-spot but some people might consider the flex a deal-breaker.

If you make one major sex toy purchase this year, it’s gotta be the L’Amourose Rosa Rouge. No question. There’s a broad range of vibration intensity, and many patterns on the L’amourose Rosa Rouge.  It’s great as a clitoral vibrator, it’s wonderful for anybody with grip and/or reach issues, it’s decent as a dual-stimulator (would work better for those with minimal labia and an easily accessible clitoris), it’s pretty awesome as a prostate vibrator (I have that on good authority), it’s a wonderful g-spot vibrator, it’s a great vulva stimulating vibrator – in short IT’S PRETTY DAMN AMAZING.

I’m in love. I think about this vibrator when it’s not around. I crave it. I’ve chosen it over my beloved Tango multiple times. It’s THAT good, people.  If you need power, this is it. If you hate buzzy, itchy vibrations, this is your jam. If you have difficulties grasping and holding a tiny vibrator like the Tango, this is the answer to your prayers. If you need power in your vagina but not your arm, THIS IS IT. And if you can’t justify the cost of the Rosa Rouge, you should at least consider the regular Rosa.

Great for:
  • Those who need strong vibrations
  • Those who don’t need pinpoint clitoral vibrations
  • Those who don’t need very firm pressure on the g-spot or prostate as long as the vibrations rock
  • Those who are looking for something different

 

 Thanks to L’amourose for sending me the Rosa Rouge in exchange for my honest review, and thanks to Shevibe for stocking it

 Posted by at 12:47 pm